Active Aging: Staying Engaged, Connected, and Curious as We Grow Older

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You're listening to Honestly Aging by Friends Life Care Vigor,
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a podcast where we explore what it's like getting older, the peaks,
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the valleys, and everything in between.
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In this season of Honestly Aging, we're exploring the many experiences that shape vibrant aging.
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I'm your host, Cheryl Proska. Let's grow old together.
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Today on Honestly Aging, I'm joined by Friends Life Care member Jerry Schmidt
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for a conversation about active aging, staying engaged,
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and continuing to do the things that bring meaning and joy to our lives as we grow older.
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Geri, welcome to Honestly Aging, and thank you so much for joining me today.
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Well, thank you, Cheryl. I'm delighted to be here.
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So before we talk about active aging, I'd love to give our listeners a chance to get to know you.
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Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and what your life looks like today?
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Well, I'd be happy to. My husband and I spent our working and child-rearing
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years in the New York area.
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So we both had heavy pressure jobs, a lot of commuting, and of course,
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kids in school and so forth.
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So we never had much time to devote to taking advantage of the city that we lived in near New York.
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So one of the things when we decided to retire is that we wanted to be urban.
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And we had been living in Philly when we were first married a bazillion years before.
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So we just decided to come back to Philadelphia, and that was about 18 years ago.
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So what are some of the activities and interests or people that keep you busy and bring you joy?
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You know what? Everything I do brings me joy. We're having such a good time
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after all of the prior stress that I just described. But the main thing is that
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we have recently decided to compress our bucket list for travel.
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So lately we're doing a lot of traveling because, you know, honestly,
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first of all, the world is changing a lot. Second of all, we don't know how
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long we will have the energy to do this. We just don't know.
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So we're trying to smoosh it to the degree we can.
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I mean, one of the first things we did when we moved to Philly was subscribe
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to the orchestra. So we go to a lot of musical performances. We love that.
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Mainly the orchestra, but also some other things. We like jazz.
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We joined an organization you may be familiar with called Friends in the City.
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That was practically the minute that I retired, we did that because I'd been
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working virtually here for two years before I retired and we knew no one.
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So we were early joiners of Friends in the City and we've been a part of that
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organization ever since.
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It's now got over 650 members. So that provides a lot of different activities,
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and I would say that's like the main social engine for us right now.
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I do yoga several times a week, and I exercise.
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I love webinars and podcasts on just all kinds of weird subjects,
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so I can listen to anything.
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And I'm also an avid indoor gardener.
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So taken all together, that keeps me pretty busy when I do volunteer work.
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So have you always been someone who likes to stay active and involved,
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or has this become more important as you've gotten older?
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This is retirement life.
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I mean, when we were working and had the kids and commuting,
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which was significant in the New York area, you know, that was our whole life.
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There was no possibility to do retirement.
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Other kinds of things. So we really didn't have a chance. And when I first retired,
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I was a little worried about it. It was kind of a challenge.
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What do you do if you have nothing to do?
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So we moved back to Philly in part for that reason, because you can't live in
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Center City, Philadelphia, and not have something to do. There's just too much here.
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I'd say that we're having a great time so far.
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Your husband, too? Yeah, for sure. So we often hear about the importance of
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staying active as we get older, but being active can mean something different to everyone.
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I'd love to hear your take on when you hear the words active aging,
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what does that personally mean to you?
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I think it means that you have a rare opportunity to do whatever you want in
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the time that is in front of you.
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But I've just observed myself that it's a lot easier if you start by protecting
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your physical strength and resiliency.
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One of the things that I've learned through experience is that the more you
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do, even if it's tiny things, the more you do, the more you can do.
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People are sometimes afraid to.
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Push past a little pain. But anybody in my age group has got a little pain.
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So the only way to deal with it is to push past it, you know,
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with some exceptions for serious conditions, understandably.
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And I liked what you said. Essentially, if you don't use it, you might lose it.
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So if you start giving up certain aspects of mobility or socialization or the
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things that you like, your world can start becoming a bit smaller
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and then that that does start creating its own problems. So a pandemic.
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I mean, I had I struggled with that because I love to be around people.
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So I mean, that really decreased a lot of my mental stimulation and socializing.
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So, yeah, I mean, I personally struggled with that.
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Well, this is the kind of resilience that that experience helps to enable, I think. Mm hmm.
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And so going back to the act of aging and staying active and involved,
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what would you say that really adds to your life, really focusing,
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making this a focus of your retirement?
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Well, I think I kind of said it before. We work very hard for a very long time,
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and we totally regard this as our opportunity to have fun and pursue interesting adventures.
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Neither of us is too good about being bored i suspect you're that way too so,
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here we are in philadelphia you wake up in the morning and literally a million
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things are at your feet that you could choose to do that day from volunteer
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work to cultural activities to history anything you want.
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This is a bit of a side question. Living in Philadelphia before and now for
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18 years, what are some of your favorite things about Philadelphia?
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Oh, my gosh. I'll tell you a very quick story. So I grew up in a military family,
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so I lived in some really blah places, a lot of really blah places.
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And then I went to college in Washington, D.C., which at that time,
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which was a long time ago, was still fairly blah.
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We moved to Philly and I saw all these different neighborhoods and all these
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different ethnicities and all of this historical and cultural opportunity.
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And, you know, we kind of fell in love with it.
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I personally believe that Philadelphia
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is a really terrific place to spend this time in life. Mm-hmm.
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So how would you say that your perspective on what it means to age well has
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changed as you've gotten older?
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Well, I guess the thing that was the biggest awakening is that I discovered
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that aging well doesn't come to you by default, either mentally or physically.
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And I've kind of learned that it requires a some investment in the effort of aging well.
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And so that's what my activities, my exercise, and so forth is doing.
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And what has surprised you most about this stage of life?
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That I have never in my entire life been more comfortable with myself.
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And I find somehow,
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that there's this aspiration of living in the moment and I'm closer to that
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at this point in life than I ever was before.
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And to me, that's so inspirational and aspirational where, you know,
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as I've gotten older, I've started to feel more comfortable with myself and
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to know that that only deepens or I have the opportunity to deepen it as I get older, too.
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So I just I just love to hear that. Something something to look forward to.
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And we deserve that. Mm-hmm. Now, we've been touching on the fact that active
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aging isn't exclusively about physical activity.
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It's also about continuing to
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learn and connect with others and find purpose in the things that we do.
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Now, I do still want to focus on the physical activity. And I know you mentioned,
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you know, Philly's a walkable city and you do some yoga.
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How would you say that physical activity, what role does that play in your life today?
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I think of it as foundational because, as I said before, the more you do, the more you can do.
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So I might not feel like doing it every day, but I know it's in my own best
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interest to do at least a little every day.
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Just to walk around the city requires a certain amount of resilience.
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So for me, it's a good investment.
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And what keeps you mentally active and curious? Well, that's such an interesting
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question. I think to some degree, it's just a characteristic that I was born with.
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But, you know, I'm repeating myself again, but there's so much here in Philly.
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And participating in organizations like FITSI, Friends in the City,
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helps because you get invitations to wonderful things you'd never think of doing yourself.
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And so I think being active with other people is a wonderful way to keep at it.
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And is there anything more that you want to say about the role that your friendships,
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family, and your community play in your life?
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Yeah. I think I mentioned before I grew up in a military family,
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which means that I moved a lot and I was perpetually the new girl.
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That was like until I was in college. And nowadays, you know,
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a lot of people think about moving to different communities when they're older and so on and so forth.
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Nothing gives me a bigger thrill than being out and about and having someone
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recognize me and say hi, because that's not any experience that I had when I was younger.
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And I just think the value of community is something we should never take for granted.
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And you might have touched on it already, but I just want to focus on the word
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purpose, because that's such a big part of life, and especially maintaining
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that purpose in a retirement portion of your life.
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So what right now is giving you a sense of purpose?
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Well, for me, it's my family.
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I am involved in several volunteer activities, which I think is really important.
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It's, you know, doing for others is one of the three criteria they they tout for happiness.
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The other two are social connections and gratitude.
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So gratitude, having a social network, and doing for others are the purported keys to happiness.
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So, And the other thing that I've been focusing on, trying to focus on lately
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is just because we need it, is just being kind.
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Is there anything that you want to share about the volunteer work that you're doing?
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Well, after I retired, I was sort of leveraging what my career had been,
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and I produced websites for three different nonprofit groups.
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So I did that. I don't do that anymore because technology became a little bit
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of a challenge as I got older.
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And that's not a reflection on my age. That's a reflection on technology.
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But I do some volunteer work with HIAS, which is an immigration organization. And,
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I guess it's volunteer work, but I volunteer for the Penn Memory Center.
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I'm just a study subject, probably a control subject. I don't really know.
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But I'm doing my third or fourth study for them.
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So that keeps me pretty busy.
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And I do a few other things as well. I've been doing a lot of political stuff lately, too.
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Well, thank you for everything that you're giving back to the community and,
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being able to make a difference, you know, where you've been living for 18 years
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and before. So 18 plus years. 18 plus.
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Two and a half. So, of course, staying active, it's not going to mean that everything stays the same.
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And just an aspect of aging can also mean having to learn how to adapt.
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Have you had to adjust how you stay active or do the things that you enjoy as
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you've gotten older? Absolutely.
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My walks are shorter than they used to be. I mean, we used to love hiking.
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We don't do that anymore. It's just not a good idea for us.
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Bedtime is earlier, which I'm now grateful for.
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And I find myself saying, huh, much too often, huh? Much too often.
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But aside from that, I haven't really adjusted to other things much.
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What's something you think people misunderstand about getting older?
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Well, I'm very frustrated with what I see as rampant ageism.
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Anybody watching or listening to this podcast will understand that.
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The big secret is that people only look older inside.
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They're still the same people they were in their 30s and 40s,
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but I find a lot of people to be pretty patronizing with older people.
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Like, I happen to come from a high-tech background, so I'm pretty techie.
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And when I go into a shop and people are explaining to me how to click a link.
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I get pretty upset about it. So I wish there was a way that we could deliver
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the message that old people are just young people inside old bodies.
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And uh early days of the podcast i had gerontologist on and she did her graduate
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studies on ageism and a line that
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i keep close to my heart is ageism is discriminating against your older self
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because hopefully we all do,
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get to become older older and wiser and all the wisdom that older adults have,
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it's just never made sense to me why there is ageism.
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I've just never, never understood it because there's nothing I love more than
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having a conversation with someone who has just years and years and years of life and experience.
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It just goes in the bucket with all other isms, right? It's bias.
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Maybe people will learn. And one thing that to the degree that I'm able that
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I enjoy doing is to disprove what being 80 looks like.
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Would you prefer to age independently in your own home or live in a nursing
00:17:33.446 --> 00:17:35.947
facility? I know what I'd rather do.
00:17:36.271 --> 00:17:39.146
Friends Life Care membership offers just that.
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Plan today for a future lived at home with vitality, independence,
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growth, and resilience while protecting your savings.
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Learn about your options at a free seminar or webinar.
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Register at friendslifecare.org slash register or call 215-628-8964.
00:18:02.453 --> 00:18:05.808
Welcome back to Honestly Aging by Friends Life Care Vigor.
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Today, I'm joined by Friends Life Care member Jerry Schmidt for a conversation
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about active aging and what it means to stay engaged, connected,
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and doing the things that bring meaning and joy to our lives as we grow older.
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Another part of Aging Well is thinking about the future while,
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of course, continuing to enjoy the life that we're living right now.
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Since you're a Friends Life Care member, I'd like to hear from you what first
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got you thinking about planning ahead for your own aging and led you to become
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a Friends Life Care member.
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Well, neither my husband nor I remember how we found out about Friends Life
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Care, but we found out shortly after we had moved here.
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We must have seen an ad or something. And we'd only been here a couple of months
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before a friend's life rep came and met with us.
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And I think it's partly because we did know that we wanted to be independent,
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either forever or for as long as possible.
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And it seemed such an attractive way to be able to do that.
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And we obviously don't want to, I mean, everybody feels that way.
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We don't want to be a burden on our kids.
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We want to just be independent in that regard, too. So it's very comforting
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to know that Friends Life Care will provide someone to help manage details if
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and when we get to that point.
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Has having a plan in place affected the way you approach your life?
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I don't think about it a lot. I don't have to, right? Yes, correct.
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I feel like I've done it. We did it 18 years ago.
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We still just keep moving. Keep moving. I love it.
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The one thing I love about the idea of active aging is that there are always
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new things to experience and things to look forward to.
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What are you looking forward to at this point in your life?
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That bucket list of places to travel We'd made this conscious decision to compress
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it As I said before And now we just have to get out and do it So,
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And of course, you know, my grandchildren are getting older And,
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you know, we're just really anxious to see What paths they choose for their lives So,
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I think that those are the things that we look forward to most Next.
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Are you willing to share what's number one on your travel bucket list?
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Mine or my husband's? Let's hear both.
00:20:42.178 --> 00:20:47.059
We're going to Scotland in September for his big birthday.
00:20:47.639 --> 00:20:51.958
Number one on my travel bucket list is New Zealand.
00:20:53.168 --> 00:21:01.441
Wow. I have the best time in Scotland, and I hope New Zealand is soon behind it. Thank you very much.
00:21:02.562 --> 00:21:08.906
So what advice would you give someone who wants to stay active and engaged as they get older?
00:21:09.646 --> 00:21:13.802
Here we go. I'm ready for this one. Just do it.
00:21:15.156 --> 00:21:20.682
Just do it. You're not going to find it in your easy chair in your living room.
00:21:21.901 --> 00:21:25.198
You have to find it. Agreed.
00:21:26.189 --> 00:21:31.221
And lastly, if someone met you today, what would you want them to know about
00:21:31.221 --> 00:21:33.457
aging from your experience?
00:21:34.210 --> 00:21:38.390
You know, I've never been athletic. I talk about exercising a lot.
00:21:38.721 --> 00:21:40.748
This is a recent development.
00:21:41.357 --> 00:21:47.845
It's one that I find extraordinarily rewarding, and I'm just doing it because
00:21:48.089 --> 00:21:54.057
I'm now physically stronger, and I would say that I experience less stress,
00:21:54.794 --> 00:21:58.155
and more fun than I ever have before in my life.
00:21:58.870 --> 00:22:04.941
Amazing. Well, Jerry, thank you so much for joining me today and sharing your
00:22:04.941 --> 00:22:08.482
experiences and perspective with us. It's been a pleasure.
00:22:08.947 --> 00:22:11.667
Cheryl, thank you very much. I've really enjoyed our chat.
00:22:13.066 --> 00:22:16.901
Thank you for listening to Honestly Aging by Friends Life Care Vigor,
00:22:16.901 --> 00:22:21.675
a unique program focused on aging with vitality, independence,
00:22:21.919 --> 00:22:23.469
growth, and resilience.
00:22:23.759 --> 00:22:29.501
You can find links and show notes from this episode on our website at friendslifecare.org.