Stop Gathering, Start Fighting: What Men Actually Need with Coach Sam Falsafi

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One of the big conversations that we've been having on Hardground lately has been around the area of men's mental health.
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What is one of the main points that you're sort of seeing inside of men who are coming into Warrior Week?
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Answering from my experience and the work that I've done, we just gotta ask yourself, what is mental health?
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Do you mean that you physically had to escape?
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You had to pretend that you were doing this, and once you were out, then you had to buy fake passports.
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I remember we were driving in the middle of the night in the jungles in Malaysia.
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I was like 10.
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Oh.
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You could have all disappeared into the jungle.
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Welcome to Hard Ground.
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There's something going on with men.
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We're talking more than ever about men's mental health, and yet we're still seeing men isolated, listless, without direction.
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At the darkest end of it, they're even taking their own lives.
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So what's really happening here?
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What have we lost?
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And what does a man need in order to have purpose, direction, and something worth fighting for?
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That's what I wanted to explore today with coach Sam Falsafi from Warrior Week.
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He spent years working with men around identity, leadership, marriage, business, and purpose.
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Sam, welcome to Hardground.
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All right, so Coach Sam Falstaffi, welcome to Hard Ground, mate.
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An absolute honor and a pleasure to have you on board.
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Thank you, thank you.
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Mate, you're the first man from over the seas to actually be on the Hard Ground podcast.
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So coming all the way from California, very special, very special.
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Take it.
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I'll take it.
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So the thing we've sort of been circling, one of the big conversations that we've been having on Hard Ground lately has been around the area of men's mental health.
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It's a big epidemic and a big conversation, especially when it comes to men.
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We basically have a rate of suicide, which is more than double than normal areas in the country and across the West.
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I know what happens.
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what you do.
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I know what Warrior Week is.
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I've been through and I'm part of Warrior Week.
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But I think one of the things that I'd like to hear from you, coach, is what you're seeing inside of men's mental health, are you seeing similarities from over there in the US?
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And what is probably one of the main points that you're sort of seeing inside of men who are coming into Warrior Week?
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Yeah, well, thanks very much for having me, Josh and Steph.
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It's good to be the first, I guess, person from the U.S. to break the ice.
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So I'll take that, as I said.
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And I think you guys are really investigating a serious problem.
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So let's just set that frame into our conversation that this is truly an investigation of a serious problem.
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And, you know, the pursuit of your podcast and the mission that you have to know more so more can be shared and more can be done.
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I know you pretty well, Josh.
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Yeah.
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I don't think you're a person of a philosophy and I don't think you're a person that belongs, that likes to belong in a social club.
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I also don't think that you're a person that just has good intentions.
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I think you, what comes into your heart, you know, appears in your hand, obviously by being a farmer.
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and working with your hands daily on the ground that just demonstrate that the effort you're putting here is for changes to happen, for a person to begin investigating and finding a way to do something.
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And this person tonight, apparently, is men, right?
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Is the category of men.
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And the question you asked really, mental health.
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I think it's a cliche word that so many of us
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just browse over and don't really take the time to understand.
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By way of background, I've been studying men and working with men, just like you've been farming on the farm and on the ground.
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I've been doing this for 14 years.
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Prior to that, I was in the world of technology and oil and gas, which...
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had nothing to do with this world.
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And yet, you know, there was a convergence of me being brought into this problem.
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And so this problem that you're talking about, it's an old problem for me.
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And if I want to break down the problem before, you know, at a minimum answering from my experience and the work that I've done, really, we just got to ask yourself, what is mental health?
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Well, if you break down the word by itself, mental, it probably or is most definitely referring to what's going on in the mind.
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And the health is some kind of status.
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What's the status in the mind of a man?
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I tell you one thing, we don't wanna be in each other's mind because it's a pretty dangerous place.
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We often walk in each other's shoes and as human,
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but nobody truly knows what's going on in another man's mind.
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And neither do we want to.
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I don't want to be in your mind, Josh, and I most definitely don't want you to be in my mind for the things that are happening.
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And that's a true statement for the audience, too, as they're listening.
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It's like, you know, do you truly want to be in another person's mind?
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And if you want to really make a graphic analogy to that is,
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Well, you look at Hitler and what has been done, right?
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Would you want to be in his mind?
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And the sad reality of, you know, everything that Hitler thought about, you and I can think about in our mind.
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The difference between us is that we didn't act upon it, and he did.
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But in the mind, we can't think about that.
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The horrific scenes of what he's done and any other evil person, we are able to think that in our mind.
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Is the mind by itself a healthy place?
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Depends what do we mean by the definition of health.
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But to really bring it down to an assessment of what's going on in a man's mind today, right?
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That really is the question is what's going on in man's mind today here in the U.S.?
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in Australia.
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I've been fortunate to work with men in Australia for past decades, but last year and a half, I say you and I have worked precisely and more profoundly with groups of individuals
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from Australia.
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And so we have some kind of stats and data on, you know, what's going on in the mind of a man in 2026, because that's the relevancy of this question as well.
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Well, I think we just have to bring our assessment to
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The current condition, right, the current condition in the mind of men, and it's directly proportional to the current condition of the world.
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It is promotion through digital entertainment, if we want to categorize.
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It is the promotion of laziness.
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And we'll talk about that.
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I mean, I got some stats here that there is a substantial amount of men in the U.S. between ages of 23 to 33 who are either at their parents' house or at their parents' house.
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playing video game in the basement or somewhere in the forest, you know, putting oils on their nipple and wishing Krishna would come and the world will change.
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And so what I mean by that is that there's less and less than man actually working.
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I don't know if you noticed, but this this past weekend was the robot games and you know, it was a scary scene because
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As you can see, it was in China and there was all these robots that were performing an Olympic, right?
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The robot games that were playing ping pong, soccer, basketball.
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They were running, running so fast that they couldn't stop.
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They had to crash and they were set on fire.
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And yeah, so it's like they were fighting in a ring.
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Like one of them had the fight in the ring.
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Everything.
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It was nuts.
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I mean, you know, I looked at it.
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I was like, okay, this is like, this reminds me of, I don't know, some movies that I've seen with Tom Cruise and some other ones.
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I don't remember the exact name, but I go, man, this seems like a scene like that.
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But then minutes later, minutes later, I just saw something that really brought it to the reality for me, which one of the graduates of Worry Week, a gentleman called Nuno Tavares, like on Facebook, just posted that, oh, I got my robots.
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And I look at it and it's laid down in a box and I'm like, oh man, this is the same that I just saw in the robot games.
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So I Google and it's there, it's available for purchase.
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You know, $9,000, you can buy one.
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I guess he bought one.
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And Nuno is a very smart guy, right?
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So this guy now, he is, you know, he's putting it all together.
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Next post is the robot in his yard kind of working out like, okay.
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And the third post is Nuno on a bench.
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And it's like, oh, you know, the robot trainer kicked my butt.
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And it was in that moment that I started seeing like, okay, like we are in a world where if my nine-year-old daughter right now considered these robots what phones are for you and I now, I can't imagine that future.
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And that's the direction that it's kind of headed.
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So it was...
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Yeah, you want to talk about mental health.
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It wasn't healthy in my mind that time.
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No, but it's like just to recap a little bit on what you're saying though, coach, because it's some of the things that you've been saying there, just in that thing.
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First of all, it's the words mental health.
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Like really nobody actually thinks about that.
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It's almost like a religious statement in a way.
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It's like, oh, mental health is poor.
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And we don't actually think about the fact that, okay, your mind and then a measurement
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Like what is the metric of the measurement of the healthiness of your mind?
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And where does that, like what's the benchmark, I suppose?
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And then when you sort of, you know, it's like what then affects your mind?
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the level of that, like what are some of the impacts?
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And like you were sort of saying, it's like, you know, whether it's alcohol or these other things that are coming in, let alone where it's going, which sounds bloody scary.
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Like I know it sounds sci-fi and exciting on one hand, but it's also, it's almost like a substitute thing
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Yeah, so are you saying with that, Sam, and you too, Josh, that this allows men to be happily distracted, to be tapped out, to be in a different world?
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Is that where you mean that you're going with that?
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I think before making any conclusion, again, we got to go back and pause at the mental health world, which brings us into the mind of a man, which brings us to what Josh was talking about, which is, hey, what gets in a man's mind?
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And so what is it that gets in the mind that begins even an opportunity for us to assess it as bad, good, healthy, unhealthy, whatever those labels are?
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But if you look at it scientifically, you know, the things that we captured in our mind mainly, mainly are pictures and sound.
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So we see things and we hear things.
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Of course, we can touch and feel and smell things.
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And those are others.
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So our five senses are just the way for information or data to come in our mind.
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But let's just primarily for the sake of this conversation, let's just focus on the main two contributor senses that bring data into our mind.
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That is what our eyes see and what our ears hear.
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And so this data, what we see, it gets accumulated in our mind and our mind and our life experiences begin interpreting these pictures and sound.
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And it begins making a movie in our head.
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So we have all these mini movies about our childhood, about how our parents treated us or how our experience was with our first job, our first vehicle and so on and so on.
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And so we began having a interpretation of this data that comes in.
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So fast forward to today.
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And so the more you're going to see things and the more you're going to hear certain things and the more your mind is influenced to produce the kind of movie that those images and sound will contribute to.
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So mental health, it truly is what you put in.
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I would really rephrase this to very simple garbage in, garbage out.
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You allow garbage to come in your mind and you're going to have a mind that is going to produce with garbage.
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What comes out of your mouth and the things that you desire are going to be a byproduct of what has coming in.
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So I think by way of just breaking down the word and understanding, well, where does this information, if the mind is a container and we have all this information that comes in,
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And now to your question, Steph, which is, you know, what is this causing?
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Well, what I'm saying is that the modern condition produces a disconnected, a drifted, and an escaping man.
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And we're going to talk about those.
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And those are the condition of an unhealthy mind, if we want to give ourselves permission to use that word, for men.
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And we can break those down.
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Do you think that...
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society is finding it difficult or we're finding it hard to determine what is garbage anymore or that the bar's been lowered and we're looking at garbage that would have been garbage yesteryear but is now just the standard.
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It's subjective.
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It's what's garbage for me.
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It's actually perfume for you.
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What's what's perfume for you is garbage for me.
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And it's we're in a world where there is no standard on what what actual truth is.
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So it's a very subjective world, which is, hey, this is my truth.
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This is your truth.
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This is what I think.
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This is what it's very opinion based.
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and experience-based, and it all is for a period of time.
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There's like, literally, stories keep changing and keep changing.
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Of course, we're human.
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We will keep evolving and changing.
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But what's going on in our mind is that we can't... That's a great question, man.
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We are becoming more disconnected with what truth is and more fascinated with how we can interpret it in our mind the way that it serves us.
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What do you think causes that?
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Open the news.
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That's garbage.
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The agenda of corporation or individuals, false religions.
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I mean, name it, man.
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There is just a series of agenda that is just distributing lies.
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And often it's by organization and really information that are distributed by organization always benefits the organizer.
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So you got to just question who's the organizer, right?
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Who wants this?
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The French, you know, I'm French-Canadian, so partly.
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So the French have an expression that says, to whom profit the crime?
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And I think, you know, that is a very good path of investigation.
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But yeah, that's my observation on that.
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It's incredible.
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One of the things that I've sort of been like, sort of keep an eye out for is children's content.
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Like what's going on into the minds of children.
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And like, that's where it's coming in early.
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And I'm seeing more and more.
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It's terrible.
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Yeah, more and more of these sort of red flags going off with concerned parents that are picking up on these nuances inside of these very strange children's cartoons.
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that are referring to sexual content and conduct and... And actually suicide as well.
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And suicide as well and violence, but as a funny, joking manner, which is kind of bizarre, like somewhat twisted and things like that.
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And it's becoming more and more like you...
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if you're not really being careful, because it's like, who profits from that?
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Who profits from them doing that so that the children see that as normal now?
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Like, what's going on?
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Like, when we started making entertainment so damn twisted to the point where...
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What's it going to produce?
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What do you see producing inside of everyone?
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The answer is that who profits from that?
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It's evil.
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And, you know, because if we start getting into who profits from that, we're getting sucked into propaganda.
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And when you get sucked into propaganda, you can't really, you know, identify the real problem.
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It's evil.
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And whoever works under evil, I mean, specifically to answer your question with what's going on with the children,
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But it's too late, man.
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We live in a swamp, right?
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We are going to be affected.
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This idea of, oh, my kids are not going to, I'm not going to allow them to see this.
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You can't control it.
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It's too late.
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It's all over the place.
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You got to face the reality.
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All kind of devices that you may put on your phone and any kind of restriction that you might put on your children, we live in a swamp.
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They are going to see things that you and I were not seeing, you know, 30 years ago, 20 years ago.
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And so the question is, how do we prevent them to go deeper into it?
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Right.
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That's that's where we need to be more present as parents and as guides, as brothers, as people are going to help each other.
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Is how do we prevent the penetration into that further and further and further?
225
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But it's already out there.
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Think about porn right now.
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It's accessible to any age, any age.
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There is absolutely nothing you can do to somehow restrict the view of what the children is going to say.
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They're going to see things.
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This was not the case for you and I.
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For you and I, you know.
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I mean, I remember years back when I was a kid, I mean, the most that we had was Braw magazine.
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The pinup poster on the shed door or something.
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Yeah, like that's the accessibility.
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But look at the accessibility today.
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And we can't operate in the shadows and say, okay, I got this because I'm a great parent or I got this because I'm going to delegate, you know, all this to some third party and so on and so on.
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It's there.
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It's out there.
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And our job becomes really on being a guide for our children not to...
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It's not that they're not going to get exposed to it.
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It's how deep they're going to get penetrated.
242
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And so to answer your question, we have an exposure problem, right, of this kind of stuff that is primarily evil.
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Sam, you've worked with a lot of men and seen and heard things from all walks of life.
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What would you say to women who are trying to support their husbands
245
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when they can see that they're really struggling in a really bad place?
246
00:20:15.835 --> 00:20:17.155
Yeah, I think that's a great question.
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First of all, if a man is not in the presence of a woman, you know, marriage or some kind of relationship, he's in trouble way more.
248
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He's in trouble.
249
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And so in the marriage, I've been married 26 years and I know in
250
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In my own marriage, my wife has always been a guide.
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Now, there's been collision and there's been times where I did not see the things that she was guiding me and helping me to see.
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But over time today, I listen very carefully because I understand the functionality in our relationship.
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So I think a functional marriage
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is a marriage where it's not a marriage that is 50-50.
255
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It's not a marriage that you do your part, I do my part without defining the parts and thinking that all parts are equal.
256
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I think it's a marriage where the roles are defined and inside of that, there's an ongoing development of building together.
257
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My dad said something at my wedding.
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At that time, of course, I didn't understand.
259
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You know, I just smile and thought it was nice, but I didn't get it.
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He said, you know, living with someone is easy.
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Building a life with someone is difficult.
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And someone, I mean, you know, your wife, right?
263
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Because it was a... And so I really realized that today.
264
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I mean, you guys too, right?
265
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And when you think about finances, when you think about building a home, when you think about maintaining that, when you think about
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raising children and guiding them.
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And when you think about your association, when you think about the growth, I mean, look what you guys are doing, right?
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And this is an example of building.
269
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You guys are on an assignment to build something together.
270
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And so this idea of building has never been easy.
271
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And the women that are aware of the
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mental health, if we want to stay on the topic of their husband, or the state, let's say, of their husband.
273
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Whether the husband is angry, whether the husband is disconnected.
274
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There are no conversations other than logistic conversations about the kids, where it feels a relationship is like roommates, where two people are living with each other, but disconnected in activities.
275
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One on their phone, the other one on their computer,
276
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Being entertained by, like I said, digital entertainment somewhere, somehow.
277
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Checking the box.
278
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I took the kids to the sports game.
279
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I did this and this and this and that.
280
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You know, therefore I've done my part.
281
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You know, I've cooked, I've done this and therefore I've done my part.
282
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This is what we are seeing more and more being promoted, which is, and again, with the robot thing, or even the data of, I came aware of this the other day, which is 50% of interactions on the internet is between machines, machine to machine.
283
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And so we are living in an age where there's more and more gap in space and that is more and more present at home.
284
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And so if that is more and more present at home, the quality of the conversations between the couples are less and less.
285
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productive.
286
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And because they're less and less productive, the quantity now becomes down.
287
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And now this explains a disconnected marriage.
288
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On the other side, when you have communication happening, and when there is a balanced way between the roles, you're going to see a co-development and parenting and building life together that is healthy.
289
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It's not pain-free.
290
00:24:10.619 --> 00:24:11.520
It's not like
291
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I'm sure you guys get pissed off at each other once in a while.
292
00:24:15.736 --> 00:24:17.337
And if you don't, then...
293
00:24:17.417 --> 00:24:17.797
I don't.
294
00:24:18.338 --> 00:24:19.018
I never do.
295
00:24:19.038 --> 00:24:19.979
She does.
296
00:24:20.179 --> 00:24:20.519
Yeah.
297
00:24:20.759 --> 00:24:21.639
There we go.
298
00:24:21.659 --> 00:24:22.600
There it is.
299
00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:23.480
The blame.
300
00:24:23.901 --> 00:24:24.241
Already.
301
00:24:24.601 --> 00:24:26.002
Look, the blame's already started.
302
00:24:26.982 --> 00:24:27.522
Don't hit me.
303
00:24:27.702 --> 00:24:29.083
But...
304
00:24:29.323 --> 00:24:29.804
But...
305
00:24:31.433 --> 00:24:38.015
But yeah, I mean, I would just summarize my answer to you, Steph, that is it is absolutely crucial.
306
00:24:38.475 --> 00:24:38.755
Right.
307
00:24:39.115 --> 00:24:46.377
The support help is absolutely crucial, you know, for a wife to his husband.
308
00:24:47.698 --> 00:24:52.259
What is not necessary and what is dangerous is control.
309
00:24:53.239 --> 00:24:59.022
And that is actually a fact too, you know, because the desire to control it's in there.
310
00:24:59.882 --> 00:25:09.526
And that's something that needs to be balanced out because once that takes place, there's a, there's, there's a, there's an unbalanced in the functionalities and all the problems in a marriage begins there.
311
00:25:09.807 --> 00:25:12.248
Well, can I, can I ask you to clarify on that a little bit?
312
00:25:12.268 --> 00:25:21.852
Because I suppose what I can hear from our viewers is when my husband is letting down,
313
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kind of his side, and I'm using that term loosely, but she's seeing things unravel.
314
00:25:28.541 --> 00:25:41.827
Naturally, she's going to pick up the slack because she doesn't want her family to suffer, her kids to suffer, or them to maybe see their dad angry or see him really, really stressed or worry about financials or whatever it might be.
315
00:25:42.768 --> 00:25:47.370
And so she, in picking up that slack, it looks like control.
316
00:25:48.938 --> 00:25:58.002
So what could be an example of the difference between helping in the right way and controlling to a point of contention?
317
00:25:58.582 --> 00:26:06.265
Well, 100% naturally, a woman is going to take over in the absence of leadership of the husband.
318
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100%.
319
00:26:07.366 --> 00:26:13.608
Because, you know, I mean, biblically, the curse on the woman is the desire to overrule the husband.
320
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That desire is there.
321
00:26:15.589 --> 00:26:16.870
I mean, that's just...
322
00:26:17.750 --> 00:26:26.698
That took place in the garden in Genesis, and that's biblical, and that's the objective truth that we build our mind around, and our marriages are blown, right?
323
00:26:26.778 --> 00:26:35.004
So now, if the husband is absent, well, the natural desire to overrule comes in, and, okay, I'm going to take care of this.
324
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I'm going to make sure that the kids have food.
325
00:26:36.966 --> 00:26:39.628
I'm going to make sure that I'm going to step in, and I'm going to do that work.
326
00:26:39.948 --> 00:26:41.550
And so who's at fault here?
327
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100% the man who has now been disconnected, disengaged.
328
00:26:47.254 --> 00:26:48.815
So that's one clear scenario.
329
00:26:49.075 --> 00:26:54.157
And another scenario, which is, you know, this this the desire for a woman to help.
330
00:26:54.717 --> 00:26:54.957
Right.
331
00:26:55.537 --> 00:27:06.881
And if a man is not able to listen, to really listen, not hear, but listen, then again, the problem lays with the men.
332
00:27:07.261 --> 00:27:11.323
So what I'm trying to tell you that in no matter what scenario specific general
333
00:27:11.951 --> 00:27:19.293
however you want to point it out, my experience and my work, it will always point to the woman.
334
00:27:19.633 --> 00:27:22.854
And that's the collision that I had with over thousands of men.
335
00:27:23.394 --> 00:27:24.894
Well, she's not doing her part.
336
00:27:25.234 --> 00:27:30.616
Well, this, well, that, I understand that, but only if she, and so on and so on.
337
00:27:31.076 --> 00:27:35.197
And that kind of dialogue will never fix the problem.
338
00:27:36.097 --> 00:27:38.938
The marriage solution is very simple.
339
00:27:39.978 --> 00:27:47.662
The man has to 100% own the problem and the man has to 100% own the solution.
340
00:27:47.802 --> 00:27:48.462
And that will work.
341
00:27:49.002 --> 00:27:51.604
Wow, that's such a mic drop.
342
00:27:51.664 --> 00:27:52.624
It is.
343
00:27:52.744 --> 00:27:55.546
I'm sure many people will be quite confronted by that statement.
344
00:27:55.726 --> 00:27:58.667
Absolutely, because nobody wants to take ownership of it.
345
00:27:58.687 --> 00:27:59.227
Nobody wants it.
346
00:27:59.247 --> 00:28:00.708
This is a major collision.
347
00:28:01.068 --> 00:28:04.130
This is a major collision and it continues.
348
00:28:07.131 --> 00:28:08.651
It's not a one-time collision, right?
349
00:28:09.512 --> 00:28:11.132
It's not like, oh, you're right, this and that.
350
00:28:11.212 --> 00:28:12.292
Okay, you're right, this and that.
351
00:28:12.312 --> 00:28:14.993
Some changes happen and a year goes by.
352
00:28:15.313 --> 00:28:20.034
We go back to the same old habits that are just calling us and we start operating them fast.
353
00:28:20.394 --> 00:28:25.255
But except now we have pride because we humbled ourselves one times and we listened to this.
354
00:28:25.275 --> 00:28:26.075
So now we have pride.
355
00:28:26.115 --> 00:28:28.716
No, it's not like, it's just, it's a battle.
356
00:28:29.296 --> 00:28:36.378
I mean, Josh, you've seen it in our brotherhood over the years with guys to the point, to the point that a man will leave
357
00:28:37.406 --> 00:28:44.186
five years, six year friendship, just so he can be right for the thing that he was originally wronged.
358
00:28:44.878 --> 00:28:45.778
Yep, so true.
359
00:28:45.898 --> 00:28:47.199
And that's amazing, isn't it?
360
00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:49.039
That's pride.
361
00:28:49.059 --> 00:28:50.340
That's a whole other kettle of fish.
362
00:28:50.360 --> 00:29:06.045
But just touching on what you were sort of speaking on before regarding the wedge, the thing that sort of sits between the wife and the husband there, and you sort of fill that gap with all the media and all the means to sort of retain that separation.
363
00:29:06.905 --> 00:29:08.465
She can't do her job.
364
00:29:08.525 --> 00:29:09.666
He doesn't want to do his job.
365
00:29:09.706 --> 00:29:10.346
He's checking out.
366
00:29:10.926 --> 00:29:16.853
She wants to try and do the job, but that connection's being disrupted all the time and they're finding substitutes all the time.
367
00:29:16.893 --> 00:29:17.774
Like, that's what happened with us.
368
00:29:18.275 --> 00:29:27.866
Like, basically what happened before I came and met you, Coach, was really, you know, I would sit in my ute, out in the paddock,
369
00:29:28.607 --> 00:29:53.899
avoiding avoiding the conversation and the collision that was bound to happen with steph okay she's dealing with little kids babies at the time um and i just did not have the bandwidth for it and i was you know but i was like you know i was fit and i was putting my mind into work and and the body and everything like that but really there was strains that were really showing up in the side of the of the relationship itself and it just it it
370
00:29:54.379 --> 00:29:56.707
put more and more pressure onto it.
371
00:29:56.727 --> 00:30:00.800
But one thing that you never did was that you never stopped
372
00:30:01.832 --> 00:30:05.594
holding up the mirror and saying, you know, first of all, are you okay?
373
00:30:05.614 --> 00:30:09.535
But then also this needs, we need to, something needs to change.
374
00:30:10.136 --> 00:30:23.961
And that's sort of like, if, if out of anything I would give to the women would be like, don't, don't give up on him, love him where he's at, but then also seek help as well, because he may not want to look for it.
375
00:30:24.401 --> 00:30:24.962
And, and, and,
376
00:30:25.822 --> 00:30:33.467
Yeah, and to be fair, like, you know, it's because we have a relationship where I knew I could come and speak to you without fear.
377
00:30:34.187 --> 00:30:47.355
I think some people have expressed to me that they would like to speak to their husbands, they would like to show the mirror, but it is scary for them, whether because it's not just like, I'm not meaning necessarily in a domestic violence sense.
378
00:30:47.435 --> 00:30:52.358
I just mean some women are more timid or they feel, you know,
379
00:30:53.257 --> 00:30:55.418
they don't want to upset their husband anymore.
380
00:30:56.139 --> 00:30:59.341
And so they don't want to put more pressure on because they'll seem like they're nagging.
381
00:30:59.381 --> 00:31:01.041
Or they're afraid because they're on the brink.
382
00:31:01.242 --> 00:31:03.703
So what they're witnessing is that their husbands are on the brink.
383
00:31:03.723 --> 00:31:05.524
And this is what happens to a lot, a lot.
384
00:31:05.544 --> 00:31:07.785
This is what happens... Yeah, they don't want their husband to hurt themselves.
385
00:31:07.805 --> 00:31:09.226
No, they don't want their husbands to hurt themselves.
386
00:31:09.286 --> 00:31:14.229
And this is what happens is it becomes, I suppose, it sort of shifts into a bit of a part of the conversation.
387
00:31:15.229 --> 00:31:26.496
Coach Sam, but it's like what we see is all these men, okay, it's the drought or it's the flood, it's the banks, it's the cattle markets have dropped.
388
00:31:26.516 --> 00:31:30.438
There's a, I just had like the farm was on fire.
389
00:31:30.778 --> 00:31:34.221
OK, again, because I made a stupid mistake, what's happening with my brain?
390
00:31:34.521 --> 00:31:36.042
It's better off that I'm not here.
391
00:31:36.522 --> 00:31:39.385
OK, those sorts of questions start flooding into the mind.
392
00:31:40.385 --> 00:31:47.651
And it's like, oh, at least the family's got a portion of the equity of what's left on the farm, because I'm obviously not able to do this anymore.
393
00:31:47.671 --> 00:31:48.792
I can't lead this anymore.
394
00:31:49.132 --> 00:31:49.552
Whatever.
395
00:31:50.853 --> 00:31:55.297
You know, like, and that's where suicide becomes...
396
00:31:56.436 --> 00:32:02.722
an option and talking to people like Mary O'Brien about it.
397
00:32:03.343 --> 00:32:19.337
And we're gonna have other conversations with other people about this as well, but it's like, when does, what's the thing that is driving particularly countrymen more towards that as an actual option?
398
00:32:20.159 --> 00:32:21.900
Like what's driving towards that?
399
00:32:22.320 --> 00:32:24.501
Where's that hopelessness?
400
00:32:24.541 --> 00:32:27.762
What's that sort of really stemming from?
401
00:32:28.442 --> 00:32:31.883
What do you sort of, you know, can you shed a bit of light on that, Coach?
402
00:32:32.023 --> 00:32:41.847
Yeah, it's a very painful and horrific situation, but it's very simple.
403
00:32:43.468 --> 00:32:47.129
It's the fatigue and exhaustion of looking for an identity.
404
00:32:48.273 --> 00:32:50.874
So it's the constant search for an identity.
405
00:32:52.295 --> 00:33:00.138
And that battle, it's not easier for those that are fighting it from an identity.
406
00:33:00.818 --> 00:33:05.901
So you and I have the same battle, but we fight that from an identity.
407
00:33:05.941 --> 00:33:07.842
And that identity is in Christ.
408
00:33:08.322 --> 00:33:10.823
That identity is knowing who God is.
409
00:33:11.623 --> 00:33:15.144
that identity is having 100% the assurance.
410
00:33:15.704 --> 00:33:19.165
Then when we die a second later, we know exactly where we're gonna be.
411
00:33:19.825 --> 00:33:31.848
We are not playing Russian roulette for our life where based on what we do and what we don't do, and one day we die and we go, maybe we go to heaven or maybe we go to hell, depending on the mood of God.
412
00:33:33.268 --> 00:33:35.469
And that is the search for an identity.
413
00:33:37.329 --> 00:33:39.010
When you fight from an identity,
414
00:33:40.340 --> 00:33:41.100
You're already dead.
415
00:33:42.921 --> 00:33:43.481
Think about that.
416
00:33:44.922 --> 00:33:45.722
You're already dead.
417
00:33:46.462 --> 00:34:02.028
And so to respond to your question and to make it very specific and tactical, which is just to go back to your case, since you brought yourself back into this, and I know you pretty well.
418
00:34:03.248 --> 00:34:05.329
We're going to use you as a guinea pig for an example.
419
00:34:05.429 --> 00:34:05.649
But...
420
00:34:07.147 --> 00:34:08.408
Thanks, mate.
421
00:34:08.428 --> 00:34:12.571
But let's look at that guy that was on the force, you know, disconnected somehow.
422
00:34:13.172 --> 00:34:14.413
How would you label that guy?
423
00:34:15.874 --> 00:34:17.015
Like, how would you label that guy?
424
00:34:17.035 --> 00:34:17.755
What was that guy?
425
00:34:18.176 --> 00:34:18.536
Lost.
426
00:34:19.177 --> 00:34:19.397
Yeah.
427
00:34:19.577 --> 00:34:21.158
And then what do we call that usually?
428
00:34:22.659 --> 00:34:23.360
The biggest pain.
429
00:34:24.477 --> 00:34:24.777
Alone.
430
00:34:25.257 --> 00:34:26.337
Alone.
431
00:34:26.357 --> 00:34:26.998
So it's lonely.
432
00:34:27.018 --> 00:34:28.318
I'll give you the answer.
433
00:34:28.438 --> 00:34:31.719
I'll give you the answer because we don't have 10 minutes.
434
00:34:31.739 --> 00:34:33.059
This is not a worry week podcast.
435
00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:33.699
It is.
436
00:34:34.179 --> 00:34:34.479
Okay.
437
00:34:34.839 --> 00:34:35.720
And it's loneliness.
438
00:34:36.560 --> 00:34:38.000
But that's not true.
439
00:34:38.320 --> 00:34:41.861
It's not that you were sitting on Porsche and your problem was loneliness.
440
00:34:43.402 --> 00:34:44.762
Look at the facts.
441
00:34:45.002 --> 00:34:45.782
You have your wife.
442
00:34:45.802 --> 00:34:46.482
You have your children.
443
00:34:46.502 --> 00:34:47.362
You have the farm.
444
00:34:47.402 --> 00:34:48.903
You have a chair you're sitting on.
445
00:34:49.283 --> 00:34:50.143
You have your health.
446
00:34:54.999 --> 00:34:56.440
It's not a loneliness problem.
447
00:34:56.860 --> 00:35:00.442
It's just you didn't know how to respond to this isolation.
448
00:35:00.802 --> 00:35:03.723
You're going to an isolated period or an isolated thing.
449
00:35:03.983 --> 00:35:05.644
So I don't know how to respond to it.
450
00:35:05.664 --> 00:35:06.524
That's the problem.
451
00:35:07.285 --> 00:35:09.306
And men are stuck exactly there.
452
00:35:10.186 --> 00:35:12.887
They don't know how to respond to that isolation.
453
00:35:13.247 --> 00:35:14.508
You made a decision.
454
00:35:14.768 --> 00:35:15.688
You came to work.
455
00:35:15.708 --> 00:35:16.649
You reached out to me.
456
00:35:17.322 --> 00:35:22.046
And you all the other way from Australia and you came to Worry Week.
457
00:35:22.606 --> 00:35:25.929
You got on a plane, you traveled God knows how many miles.
458
00:35:26.369 --> 00:35:31.953
And you came down here because you wanted help with isolation.
459
00:35:32.914 --> 00:35:43.402
And then you found a place where you're able to share your man's issue, problems, and mainly your feelings.
460
00:35:44.123 --> 00:35:46.925
But first you have to feel the feelings you didn't want to feel.
461
00:35:47.901 --> 00:35:52.183
Because when you're sitting on that chair, you're just wondering in generalities.
462
00:35:52.343 --> 00:35:54.684
And you did one thing that you think about everything.
463
00:35:54.724 --> 00:35:59.946
But the one thing you don't think about, you don't want to do is feel the feelings that you have to feel.
464
00:36:00.466 --> 00:36:03.248
Because when you do that, you just don't want to do them.
465
00:36:03.748 --> 00:36:04.328
It's horrific.
466
00:36:04.708 --> 00:36:07.209
So you felt the feelings you needed to feel.
467
00:36:07.710 --> 00:36:12.212
And from there, you saw other guys doing the same thing, which is extremely hard.
468
00:36:13.312 --> 00:36:17.654
And from there, you found a place where you're no longer disconnected.
469
00:36:18.586 --> 00:36:23.208
And that was the beginning of knowing how to deal with the isolation.
470
00:36:24.028 --> 00:36:26.870
But the game goes on because then you drift.
471
00:36:27.550 --> 00:36:33.792
You are good for a while and then something happens and you get pulled in.
472
00:36:33.833 --> 00:36:39.815
And we get these stories in our head and we begin the isolation process again.
473
00:36:40.535 --> 00:36:46.638
Or that this time around, you and I began choosing escape route.
474
00:36:47.577 --> 00:36:53.999
How do I find a medication to numb this discomfort that I have?
475
00:36:54.740 --> 00:36:56.040
How do I find it?
476
00:36:56.060 --> 00:36:59.061
You know, well, here's one thing.
477
00:36:59.261 --> 00:37:00.902
I'm just going to be lazy, not do anything.
478
00:37:01.927 --> 00:37:02.768
Or here's another thing.
479
00:37:03.308 --> 00:37:03.748
You know what?
480
00:37:03.828 --> 00:37:04.709
I'm just going to avoid it.
481
00:37:05.169 --> 00:37:12.674
And how many men do we know, particularly in Australia, from our experience, that just live in that avoidance portfolio?
482
00:37:13.554 --> 00:37:15.695
And then you have substance use.
483
00:37:15.976 --> 00:37:17.897
Then you have like sexual distraction.
484
00:37:17.937 --> 00:37:20.198
We talked about digital entertainment.
485
00:37:20.338 --> 00:37:23.080
We talked about digital distraction, man.
486
00:37:23.740 --> 00:37:26.422
And ultimately, it all comes down to that avoidance.
487
00:37:32.529 --> 00:37:35.331
The places men hide and deal with their isolation.
488
00:37:35.651 --> 00:37:36.952
Let's name them, right?
489
00:37:37.312 --> 00:37:48.098
Alcohol, drugs, food, gaming, spending, sex, porn, Netflix.
490
00:37:48.738 --> 00:37:49.058
Work.
491
00:37:49.459 --> 00:37:49.959
Work.
492
00:37:51.640 --> 00:37:52.700
All these places.
493
00:37:52.740 --> 00:38:00.585
These are all these little holes that men hide because they think that's how they're going to deal with
494
00:38:01.692 --> 00:38:04.619
and medicate this discomfort.
495
00:38:05.582 --> 00:38:07.326
It's all the same thing.
496
00:38:08.205 --> 00:38:10.646
It may be different medication, but it's all the same mechanism.
497
00:38:11.206 --> 00:38:15.208
The problem is men don't know how to deal with their isolation and they need help.
498
00:38:15.568 --> 00:38:22.591
It's really quite interesting because there are so many, like there's a lot of different programs, Coach.
499
00:38:22.651 --> 00:38:26.432
There's lots of these sorts of things and like, you know, we will have some on as well.
500
00:38:26.993 --> 00:38:32.195
And I think actually one of the things I've been sort of wondering is what is it that's different about?
501
00:38:33.095 --> 00:38:37.087
Warrior Week that is not the same as a lot of these other things, what I experienced.
502
00:38:37.127 --> 00:38:39.754
I've drank pretty deeply of a lot of this stuff.
503
00:38:40.245 --> 00:38:42.067
Yeah, like the self-help industry, for example.
504
00:38:42.087 --> 00:38:43.588
Yeah, exactly.
505
00:38:44.128 --> 00:38:49.272
And it's like, yeah, it helps with the isolation issue, 100%.
506
00:38:50.053 --> 00:38:50.654
It helps with it.
507
00:38:51.234 --> 00:38:59.101
But then what stops you from going back and being isolated again or drifting terribly?
508
00:38:59.561 --> 00:39:06.327
Like what stops you from actually not just picking up another substitute
509
00:39:07.180 --> 00:39:08.340
or another sedation.
510
00:39:08.360 --> 00:39:10.081
Yeah, it's called a force.
511
00:39:11.721 --> 00:39:14.002
So it's a force generated by a group of men.
512
00:39:14.022 --> 00:39:14.902
That's the prevention.
513
00:39:15.242 --> 00:39:16.903
It's not perfect, but that's the prevention.
514
00:39:17.423 --> 00:39:22.864
How is this force, we want to talk physics, how is this force generated by a group of men?
515
00:39:23.224 --> 00:39:32.187
Well, it's a group of men that operate under a common standard on top of, they're under the standard, they're not over the standard.
516
00:39:32.547 --> 00:39:33.867
They're under a standard
517
00:39:35.284 --> 00:39:50.350
And they practice responsibility and they practice execution and they practice this idea of not private standards, right?
518
00:39:50.410 --> 00:39:51.411
A common standard.
519
00:39:51.791 --> 00:39:52.771
They practice that.
520
00:39:53.091 --> 00:40:04.796
And the more they practice that, the more impact they have and the less they fall into the habits of the prior scape tunnels to isolation.
521
00:40:05.855 --> 00:40:13.863
Like I said, they're fighting from an identity and that identity now wants to go to the menu of scaping.
522
00:40:14.944 --> 00:40:17.567
And that menu of scaping is a tunnel to isolation.
523
00:40:17.607 --> 00:40:19.408
If they continue and continue and continue.
524
00:40:20.029 --> 00:40:28.998
You've seen in the brotherhood yourself so many men that begin with one thing and they begin with one thing and then they continue that thing and that's the tunnel that sucks them back in.
525
00:40:30.358 --> 00:40:42.122
But then at the same time, the connection and the fact that other men are there, that force of doing hard things under a certain standard, that prevents them to continue.
526
00:40:42.302 --> 00:40:48.244
It doesn't mean they won't ever look at it, but that prevents them to continue and there they become preserved.
527
00:40:48.584 --> 00:40:51.925
So I don't know about all these other programs, but what I can tell you.
528
00:40:52.446 --> 00:41:01.717
If in any program there is no responsibility, let's say there are standards and there is, you know, desire for execution, but there's no responsibility.
529
00:41:02.438 --> 00:41:03.819
Then you're looking at a social club.
530
00:41:05.121 --> 00:41:08.765
And there are men that are part of a social club, which gives them what?
531
00:41:09.366 --> 00:41:12.249
The feeling that they're fighting, but they're not fighting.
532
00:41:13.524 --> 00:41:14.345
Oh, I'm part of this.
533
00:41:14.425 --> 00:41:15.065
I'm part of that.
534
00:41:15.105 --> 00:41:15.905
I'm working on this.
535
00:41:16.166 --> 00:41:19.307
They're getting the feeling that they're fighting, but they're really not fighting.
536
00:41:19.968 --> 00:41:22.589
The second thing is, you know, there is responsibility.
537
00:41:23.190 --> 00:41:24.871
But like literally, there's no standard.
538
00:41:25.411 --> 00:41:28.713
You know, I want to do this because this makes I feel like doing this this way.
539
00:41:28.793 --> 00:41:29.433
You feel like that.
540
00:41:29.674 --> 00:41:31.114
So there is no standard.
541
00:41:31.134 --> 00:41:33.596
So really, it becomes a series of good intentions.
542
00:41:34.777 --> 00:41:36.898
But nobody's under the same standards.
543
00:41:37.706 --> 00:41:41.829
And then lastly, you have where there is standard, but nobody executes.
544
00:41:42.189 --> 00:41:43.450
And that's just philosophy.
545
00:41:43.591 --> 00:41:44.912
And there's a lot of that out there.
546
00:41:45.512 --> 00:41:48.955
There is just a lot of philosophy, especially nowadays, right?
547
00:41:48.975 --> 00:41:53.198
You turn on the Zoom and whatever, and now you're a philosopher, right?
548
00:41:53.458 --> 00:41:56.180
You talk about all these, and they talk perfectly.
549
00:41:56.581 --> 00:42:02.085
And they have the charismatic ways to describe all the principles.
550
00:42:03.133 --> 00:42:06.355
but the execution is just an appearance.
551
00:42:07.115 --> 00:42:08.476
It's just for show.
552
00:42:09.917 --> 00:42:11.238
Can I ask another question on that?
553
00:42:11.698 --> 00:42:23.445
In your experience working with men, do you, I mean, we hear a lot about people saying, just talk to someone, just talk to someone, reach out to someone and talk.
554
00:42:23.565 --> 00:42:30.649
And I suppose actually a lot in film, in American film, there's always this comment of, I'll go and see my therapist about that.
555
00:42:31.069 --> 00:42:32.970
It's a common thing that gets thrown around.
556
00:42:33.863 --> 00:42:41.169
Do you think the way that men work mean they must do something different than just going to talk to someone?
557
00:42:41.209 --> 00:42:42.751
Where do you see the line?
558
00:42:43.932 --> 00:42:46.774
I think they need to stop bullshitting.
559
00:42:48.275 --> 00:42:50.818
So they want to go talk to somebody, go actually talk.
560
00:42:52.079 --> 00:42:53.140
But they don't mean it.
561
00:42:53.926 --> 00:42:58.008
It's like you're sitting around a small group in church.
562
00:42:58.088 --> 00:43:01.989
Let's talk about that for a second because we criticize enough of the world.
563
00:43:02.009 --> 00:43:03.870
Let's criticize what's going on in the church.
564
00:43:03.890 --> 00:43:12.034
You're sitting around a man inside of the church, and there's a conversation, and there's a real biblical discernment.
565
00:43:12.974 --> 00:43:16.355
And the person responds back, okay, I'll pray over it.
566
00:43:17.636 --> 00:43:18.997
What do you mean you pray over it, man?
567
00:43:19.037 --> 00:43:20.097
I don't need you to pray over it.
568
00:43:22.075 --> 00:43:22.936
it's not me saying it.
569
00:43:22.956 --> 00:43:24.016
It's a biblical discernment.
570
00:43:24.056 --> 00:43:24.717
God says that.
571
00:43:24.757 --> 00:43:25.717
Here's the word of God.
572
00:43:25.757 --> 00:43:31.600
Here's how you, like, you need, like, there's no, like, it's now, right?
573
00:43:32.100 --> 00:43:35.282
And so this, I pray over it becomes a way of kicking the can.
574
00:43:35.922 --> 00:43:36.662
I think about it.
575
00:43:36.902 --> 00:43:38.983
I will go see my therapist, right?
576
00:43:39.584 --> 00:43:42.605
Again, it's that feeling that I'm fighting, but I'm not really fighting.
577
00:43:42.665 --> 00:43:46.027
And even when I go see the therapist, what am I telling to the therapist?
578
00:43:46.407 --> 00:43:48.908
I'm telling them the thing, but I'm not really telling them,
579
00:43:49.148 --> 00:43:54.832
I'm telling him a thing that is bad, but I'm not really telling him the horrible thing that I did, at least not in the first session.
580
00:43:56.834 --> 00:44:00.736
So there's nothing wrong with go with someone.
581
00:44:00.796 --> 00:44:02.117
The problem is men lie.
582
00:44:02.237 --> 00:44:02.978
That's the problem.
583
00:44:04.199 --> 00:44:06.020
Go talk with someone is now.
584
00:44:06.560 --> 00:44:07.841
Now go talk with someone.
585
00:44:08.062 --> 00:44:09.883
Or let me be a witness that you're talking to.
586
00:44:09.903 --> 00:44:10.563
Don't talk to me.
587
00:44:11.264 --> 00:44:11.904
Why someone?
588
00:44:11.944 --> 00:44:12.725
Talk to me now.
589
00:44:13.906 --> 00:44:18.509
And that's the culture that we need to have a very...
590
00:44:19.118 --> 00:44:21.258
direct and immediate culture.
591
00:44:22.459 --> 00:44:26.600
Because we're dealing with the same problem as I said to you, laziness and avoidance.
592
00:44:26.740 --> 00:44:28.180
Everything else is sandwiched between.
593
00:44:28.700 --> 00:44:31.001
Everything that I told you is a big sandwich.
594
00:44:31.261 --> 00:44:35.042
Every scape is between laziness and avoidance.
595
00:44:36.662 --> 00:44:41.023
And we are trained to avoid feelings we don't want to feel as men.
596
00:44:42.400 --> 00:44:47.923
We have a saying that it's sort of like, she'll be right, mate, and let's just go and have a beer.
597
00:44:48.804 --> 00:44:53.306
And it's probably the most common thing that we're sort of seeing inside a lot of communities.
598
00:44:53.386 --> 00:44:54.047
It's interesting.
599
00:44:54.067 --> 00:44:55.828
We sort of put this as a bit of a post out there.
600
00:44:55.848 --> 00:44:59.390
But, you know, like at one point,
601
00:45:00.190 --> 00:45:01.631
They're at the centre of a community.
602
00:45:01.671 --> 00:45:07.715
There used to be a church and there used to be a minister inside of the church and the minister used to minister to the congregation of the church.
603
00:45:08.256 --> 00:45:10.257
Now that doesn't really exist anymore.
604
00:45:10.297 --> 00:45:16.161
It's not really a thing that happens, especially inside a country, isolated country areas.
605
00:45:16.761 --> 00:45:18.903
And so what there is, is there's the pub.
606
00:45:19.723 --> 00:45:28.288
And so it's like, let's go down to the pub, have a beer, and then you can have a laugh and just blow off the steam.
607
00:45:29.008 --> 00:45:37.452
And that's actually become one of the catch cries of a way to deal with mental health is go to the pub and have a beer.
608
00:45:38.213 --> 00:45:39.974
And it's not working.
609
00:45:40.394 --> 00:45:42.275
It's like, yeah, you can feel a bit better.
610
00:45:42.855 --> 00:45:48.280
But in the end, when you go, when you hop back in your car and you drive back home, everything's waiting for you.
611
00:45:48.301 --> 00:45:50.643
And what's more, you've got to hang out for the next time.
612
00:45:50.663 --> 00:45:53.666
There's no difference between let's go have a beer and I pray over it.
613
00:45:53.966 --> 00:45:54.707
It's kicking the can.
614
00:45:55.353 --> 00:45:57.575
First of all, having the beer never happens.
615
00:45:57.935 --> 00:46:00.197
So when somebody says, let's go have a beer, stop.
616
00:46:00.618 --> 00:46:03.260
What it means is, hey, stop talking to me about this topic.
617
00:46:03.320 --> 00:46:05.742
I don't want to feel the feelings that this topic is bringing me.
618
00:46:06.143 --> 00:46:07.524
So that's the direct translation.
619
00:46:07.884 --> 00:46:09.686
And even if you have a beer, right?
620
00:46:10.867 --> 00:46:13.910
Really think about, let's break down having beer, right?
621
00:46:14.170 --> 00:46:14.851
Having beer.
622
00:46:15.071 --> 00:46:16.012
Let's just break it down.
623
00:46:16.052 --> 00:46:16.632
What happens?
624
00:46:17.173 --> 00:46:18.894
You are going to delegate.
625
00:46:19.615 --> 00:46:23.157
your identity to a state that you don't know who that is.
626
00:46:23.877 --> 00:46:28.640
When you take alcohol or drugs, you are now in a different identity.
627
00:46:28.660 --> 00:46:30.020
You are now a different person.
628
00:46:30.801 --> 00:46:39.245
So you're going to delegate your big problems to a person that you have no idea, which is this drunk version of you or this drugged version of you.
629
00:46:39.965 --> 00:46:40.906
Of course, it doesn't work.
630
00:46:41.626 --> 00:46:45.708
Like Sam, in Australia, and I'm sure it's the same in America, but it's a huge issue.
631
00:46:46.933 --> 00:46:51.339
Drinking is a massive part of our culture, huge part of our culture.
632
00:46:52.280 --> 00:46:57.226
Do you see that adding to the mental health?
633
00:46:57.286 --> 00:47:01.312
Because we're throwing that word, we're using that term today, the mental health
634
00:47:02.407 --> 00:47:03.608
Issues for men?
635
00:47:04.328 --> 00:47:05.189
Yeah, 100%.
636
00:47:05.229 --> 00:47:05.869
Stop drinking.
637
00:47:06.309 --> 00:47:07.270
It's as simple as that.
638
00:47:07.770 --> 00:47:08.030
Why?
639
00:47:08.090 --> 00:47:12.473
Because when you are drunk, you delegate your identity to another man, a drunk version of you.
640
00:47:12.853 --> 00:47:15.655
So think about this, right?
641
00:47:16.295 --> 00:47:18.556
I don't want to delegate that state.
642
00:47:19.457 --> 00:47:27.762
If somebody attacks me in that moment or attacks my family, I don't want to delegate all my training, everything that I have to a drunk version of myself.
643
00:47:28.651 --> 00:47:30.574
I want all this experience, all the work.
644
00:47:30.834 --> 00:47:39.905
If I train in martial art, if I train in other things, if I'm a trained individual to deal with something, I want myself to be there.
645
00:47:40.225 --> 00:47:41.908
All this work and experience that I've done.
646
00:47:42.108 --> 00:47:44.631
I don't want to delegate that to a version that I don't know.
647
00:47:46.034 --> 00:47:47.275
But we don't think about that.
648
00:47:47.615 --> 00:47:50.236
And again, let me give you a different analogy, right?
649
00:47:50.856 --> 00:47:53.117
I'm not an anti-alcohol person.
650
00:47:53.197 --> 00:47:54.837
I'm just saying there's a problem, man.
651
00:47:55.278 --> 00:47:56.058
There's a problem.
652
00:47:56.098 --> 00:48:01.820
The thing is, what you're saying there, though, Coach, and this is interesting, I'll stop you there, because it's not really something that's really spoken of.
653
00:48:02.200 --> 00:48:02.600
It's that...
654
00:48:04.421 --> 00:48:13.863
that idea of delegation, it's that you're not the person, like in your sobriety, in your mind, when you're clear, and you're on the job, you're on the job.
655
00:48:13.983 --> 00:48:17.704
You've got something that you've got to be about, and you want to make sure that you're doing things right.
656
00:48:18.284 --> 00:48:28.147
But when you've got real issues that are internal, or you've got things that you really need to get on with, that are happening up here, or whatever that might be, or feelings that you need to feel,
657
00:48:29.147 --> 00:48:35.933
and you've got a family at home and then you go and drink because it changes the state of your mind.
658
00:48:36.413 --> 00:48:40.236
It's like, I, I just delegate that out to that version of me.
659
00:48:40.776 --> 00:48:44.039
I delegate my social standing after that version of me.
660
00:48:44.679 --> 00:48:48.242
I delegate that the dad that shows up to that version of me.
661
00:48:48.763 --> 00:48:51.685
Is that sort of the tracking coach?
662
00:48:51.865 --> 00:48:52.345
Yeah.
663
00:48:52.365 --> 00:48:53.466
100% look, man.
664
00:48:54.267 --> 00:48:57.970
Again, I used to drink heavily and I used to drink softly and,
665
00:48:58.544 --> 00:49:03.966
And when I stopped in 2008, I didn't even stop, but it had been stopped for me.
666
00:49:04.726 --> 00:49:07.147
And I'm blessed to look back.
667
00:49:07.287 --> 00:49:10.508
So I'm not talking about, I'm not giving a lecture to anybody.
668
00:49:10.528 --> 00:49:14.250
I'm talking about the version that I was before 2008 and this version.
669
00:49:14.825 --> 00:49:22.608
And so, you know, I've made a decision that I said, okay, my son is 17-year-old now.
670
00:49:22.748 --> 00:49:26.449
I said, okay, when Nikon is born, man, I don't want ever this guy see me drunk.
671
00:49:26.949 --> 00:49:29.410
I just don't want him to see like this state, this other person.
672
00:49:29.730 --> 00:49:32.431
Obviously, I didn't have these terminology, none of these experience.
673
00:49:32.992 --> 00:49:34.832
But I just had this phrase in my head.
674
00:49:35.652 --> 00:49:41.915
And so the proof of the pudding is I go to bar three, four times a week for 17 years.
675
00:49:44.145 --> 00:49:46.126
And I've been drinking non-alcoholic beer.
676
00:49:47.047 --> 00:49:50.148
And when I started, it was just like the brand O'Doul's here.
677
00:49:50.508 --> 00:49:52.429
You know, man, it sucked, right?
678
00:49:53.070 --> 00:49:55.531
But now, I mean, it's all over the place.
679
00:49:55.951 --> 00:50:01.214
Every brand now has a non-alcoholic zero version.
680
00:50:02.254 --> 00:50:02.775
That's right.
681
00:50:02.955 --> 00:50:05.336
And so I go to bar.
682
00:50:05.456 --> 00:50:06.637
I get going to bar, man.
683
00:50:06.777 --> 00:50:07.357
I'm okay.
684
00:50:07.517 --> 00:50:08.818
I get the concept.
685
00:50:09.812 --> 00:50:13.336
But the question we need to ask ourselves is why are we going to the bar?
686
00:50:13.577 --> 00:50:14.458
We need to be honest.
687
00:50:14.798 --> 00:50:17.842
Are you really going to talk or are you going to get drunk?
688
00:50:19.364 --> 00:50:20.786
And you are going to get drunk.
689
00:50:21.268 --> 00:50:21.628
Why?
690
00:50:22.169 --> 00:50:25.070
Well, you know, I drink because I want my problems to go away.
691
00:50:25.090 --> 00:50:25.710
That's not true.
692
00:50:26.251 --> 00:50:30.093
You drink because you want to drink and because the drink brings you pleasure.
693
00:50:30.473 --> 00:50:32.994
So it's a pleasure, then everything else.
694
00:50:33.635 --> 00:50:35.656
And that's what I mean by owning the problem.
695
00:50:35.796 --> 00:50:39.198
Until we own the problem, we will never own the solution.
696
00:50:39.458 --> 00:50:43.100
And with men, we have the problem of owning the problem.
697
00:50:43.828 --> 00:50:46.551
And this goes in America and this goes in everything else.
698
00:50:46.631 --> 00:50:54.638
But I'm glad that you brought the example of alcohol because this addresses the root of the issue versus anything else.
699
00:50:54.898 --> 00:50:56.900
Very profound.
700
00:50:57.200 --> 00:50:59.082
It's such a big topic.
701
00:50:59.122 --> 00:50:59.683
It's amazing.
702
00:50:59.703 --> 00:51:03.266
We're sort of tapping into the master's mind here.
703
00:51:03.426 --> 00:51:04.327
It's like it's incredible.
704
00:51:04.467 --> 00:51:06.229
Well, it's not master, right?
705
00:51:06.249 --> 00:51:07.610
Somebody maybe is listening to this.
706
00:51:07.871 --> 00:51:09.673
Like, okay, this is his opinion.
707
00:51:09.773 --> 00:51:10.754
It's not my opinion.
708
00:51:11.695 --> 00:51:15.039
I collided with, you know, we are at Warrior Week 84.
709
00:51:15.079 --> 00:51:18.662
That's 84 weeks of my life dedicated to Warrior Week.
710
00:51:19.363 --> 00:51:22.927
And each Warrior Week, there's, I don't know, 15 to 20 men that are there, sometimes 30.
711
00:51:23.227 --> 00:51:24.369
And so do the math.
712
00:51:25.881 --> 00:51:31.203
There is a 16-hour, 17-hour, 18-hour on day one collision just on this.
713
00:51:31.564 --> 00:51:35.706
Because if we don't get through this, then we won't be able to get through all the other days.
714
00:51:36.786 --> 00:51:38.827
So I'm not telling you what I think.
715
00:51:39.527 --> 00:51:41.048
I'm telling you what I know.
716
00:51:41.969 --> 00:51:42.769
That's the difference.
717
00:51:43.937 --> 00:51:52.008
While somebody was sleeping and hanging out with their homies, I was in the woods dealing with men colliding about these conversations.
718
00:51:52.208 --> 00:51:53.269
We're not punching each other.
719
00:51:53.289 --> 00:51:53.870
We're not fighting.
720
00:51:54.111 --> 00:51:55.332
We're colliding.
721
00:51:55.372 --> 00:52:00.239
Would you say, like, do you experience a lot of resistance to begin with?
722
00:52:00.299 --> 00:52:00.960
Are men...
723
00:52:02.279 --> 00:52:04.802
Just very quick to say, that's not true, Sam.
724
00:52:04.822 --> 00:52:05.303
Of course.
725
00:52:05.423 --> 00:52:06.724
I am telling the truth.
726
00:52:06.885 --> 00:52:08.186
I'm not bullshitting you.
727
00:52:08.787 --> 00:52:09.367
Of course.
728
00:52:09.988 --> 00:52:14.053
The majority of men, nine out of ten, it's all about that.
729
00:52:14.694 --> 00:52:17.777
And that's why they don't surrender to the process of Warrior Week.
730
00:52:18.038 --> 00:52:20.340
But the one that comes, the one out of ten that comes,
731
00:52:21.271 --> 00:52:24.732
He is at least open to investigate.
732
00:52:24.953 --> 00:52:26.073
And that's all it requires.
733
00:52:26.393 --> 00:52:28.894
Nobody tells anybody what to do or what to think.
734
00:52:29.394 --> 00:52:32.976
We just lay down the investigation method, which is very unusual.
735
00:52:33.696 --> 00:52:33.956
Why?
736
00:52:34.016 --> 00:52:37.378
Because the current ways of dealing with men, it just takes too long.
737
00:52:38.118 --> 00:52:40.481
You go to therapy for one year, you still have the same problem.
738
00:52:41.261 --> 00:52:47.107
How is it that in a different methodology, you're able to at least know the source of the problem?
739
00:52:47.348 --> 00:52:53.814
Problem doesn't go away, but you know what the source is and you can't escape away from what the problem is.
740
00:52:54.135 --> 00:52:54.675
Until what?
741
00:52:54.855 --> 00:53:00.762
Until you escape yourself from the environment that knows you with a person that says, hey, here's my problem, I own it.
742
00:53:01.322 --> 00:53:08.047
So the way that I run away from it, I run away from that environment so I can continue to do what I want to do with that.
743
00:53:08.327 --> 00:53:14.872
But if I stay there, which is what Josh, stay there, you stay there, you stay there, you address that problem.
744
00:53:15.192 --> 00:53:18.475
And now you enter in a new quality of problem.
745
00:53:18.775 --> 00:53:21.097
You want your life to be plenty of problem.
746
00:53:21.257 --> 00:53:23.158
You just don't want the same problem to continue.
747
00:53:23.679 --> 00:53:28.162
Every time you deal with a problem, you enter to a new quality of problem.
748
00:53:29.080 --> 00:53:33.743
In your business, you solve a $10,000 problem, you are now walking into a $100,000 problem.
749
00:53:34.523 --> 00:53:38.665
In a $100,000 problem you serve, great, you are now walking into a million dollar problem.
750
00:53:39.566 --> 00:53:41.066
Yeah, yeah.
751
00:53:41.467 --> 00:53:51.992
It's one of the things that I noticed big time, just a little bit about what my experience has been within this is that I think every second word that I had issue was with my dad.
752
00:53:53.327 --> 00:53:57.951
It was like, you know, this, like it was all about my relationship with dad.
753
00:53:58.892 --> 00:54:04.496
And I know that there are a lot of fellas that are listening to this right now that know exactly what I'm talking about.
754
00:54:05.517 --> 00:54:08.439
That's why the whole, you know, conversation around succession is such a big one.
755
00:54:08.860 --> 00:54:17.227
That's why, you know, because we work so close and we live so close and we were brought up underneath our dads and they were in the yards and the fields with our dads.
756
00:54:17.927 --> 00:54:21.890
And we link our identity with our fathers as well.
757
00:54:22.430 --> 00:54:27.874
Like that's probably one of the big ones, Coach Sam, about what you're talking about is like searching for identity.
758
00:54:28.094 --> 00:54:34.559
Well, a lot of us link our identity with our old men and the fact that they did everything better, harder, stronger, they built more.
759
00:54:35.140 --> 00:54:40.603
And we all try to, you know, build ourselves up in their eyes only to never feel good enough.
760
00:54:41.524 --> 00:54:45.825
And that was the ongoing dialogue up here.
761
00:54:46.246 --> 00:54:47.566
Just never stopped.
762
00:54:47.926 --> 00:54:51.907
I think like Raul, he said, Josh, I don't even hear you talk about your dad anymore.
763
00:54:52.448 --> 00:54:53.348
Okay?
764
00:54:53.368 --> 00:54:54.588
You just don't.
765
00:54:54.808 --> 00:54:56.209
You haven't spoken about him for yonks.
766
00:54:56.489 --> 00:55:05.072
And it was every second freaking word, you know, which just goes to sort of show because I shifted what I attached my identity to.
767
00:55:06.372 --> 00:55:08.893
That was a major transformational change.
768
00:55:09.494 --> 00:55:14.996
I stopped chasing after what I thought I ought to should have been and I could never get it.
769
00:55:15.977 --> 00:55:20.399
And yeah, that landed me in a very, very different set of problems.
770
00:55:21.319 --> 00:55:22.120
A good set of problems.
771
00:55:22.160 --> 00:55:22.400
Yeah.
772
00:55:22.420 --> 00:55:27.982
You know, this idea of the relationship with the dad.
773
00:55:30.230 --> 00:55:36.114
It's got a funny label for people that don't want to deal with it here in the U.S.
774
00:55:36.274 --> 00:55:41.316
They mock the issue by saying daddy issues and so on and so on.
775
00:55:41.817 --> 00:55:46.139
The reality is that these are a group of imbecile people that don't want to investigate.
776
00:55:46.639 --> 00:55:47.360
That's all it is.
777
00:55:47.800 --> 00:55:54.724
But, you know, how your dad shows up in your life is a personal experience.
778
00:55:55.144 --> 00:55:56.265
Some dads will show up.
779
00:55:57.828 --> 00:55:59.589
most amazing dads.
780
00:55:59.709 --> 00:56:06.954
Other dads will show up the best that they could and it might not fit the checklist of today's dad or who we are as dad.
781
00:56:07.754 --> 00:56:09.375
And some dad never showed up.
782
00:56:09.575 --> 00:56:10.056
Other dad...
783
00:56:11.007 --> 00:56:12.347
were not even dads, man.
784
00:56:12.387 --> 00:56:13.268
Like they were violent.
785
00:56:13.288 --> 00:56:16.488
They were like, you know, evil to some extent.
786
00:56:17.168 --> 00:56:19.289
Depending on who that is, right?
787
00:56:19.849 --> 00:56:26.071
There's a path for a man that, at one point you get to a point where you do two things.
788
00:56:26.731 --> 00:56:33.232
One, you take all the lists of expectation that you have from your dad and you just replace them by appreciation.
789
00:56:33.712 --> 00:56:38.013
And immediately will change the flow of how you see your dad.
790
00:56:38.313 --> 00:56:39.934
And it could free you for a lot of things.
791
00:56:42.777 --> 00:56:46.261
you move on, man.
792
00:56:47.182 --> 00:56:47.723
You move on.
793
00:56:48.084 --> 00:56:48.765
You go and build.
794
00:56:49.285 --> 00:56:51.588
You take your wife and you go build a life.
795
00:56:52.249 --> 00:56:52.970
And that's what you do.
796
00:56:53.050 --> 00:56:54.693
Because that's what men are supposed to do.
797
00:56:55.213 --> 00:56:56.315
And you love your dad anyway.
798
00:56:58.043 --> 00:57:03.587
And you and I understand that my dad and your dad, they dealt with the same thing.
799
00:57:03.987 --> 00:57:10.392
They were disconnected and they didn't know how to deal with the isolation, except the menu for them were smaller, right?
800
00:57:10.652 --> 00:57:13.835
So they didn't have digital entertainment, right?
801
00:57:13.875 --> 00:57:17.037
They didn't have a lot of the stuff that we have today.
802
00:57:17.438 --> 00:57:20.060
You know, they didn't have as much as maybe drugs and so on.
803
00:57:20.180 --> 00:57:25.364
And they didn't have the menu that we have, but they end up,
804
00:57:26.310 --> 00:57:27.651
in an angry state.
805
00:57:28.251 --> 00:57:28.571
Yeah.
806
00:57:29.372 --> 00:57:33.974
So anger becomes how they deal with their isolation.
807
00:57:34.895 --> 00:57:42.599
Angry at self, angry at you, angry at others, angry at anger about everything, and different expression of anger.
808
00:57:42.639 --> 00:57:54.887
Some would be violent, some would be rage, some would be by belittling, some would be by ignoring, some would be by dominating, and some would be gonna say, listen, man, this is what we're gonna do because I say so, right?
809
00:57:55.887 --> 00:58:04.032
And so this anger underneath is, this is how they couldn't figure out to deal with this idolization.
810
00:58:04.072 --> 00:58:05.233
So they escape in anger.
811
00:58:06.013 --> 00:58:10.556
They may not have the appearance of being an angry man, but their manners is very angry.
812
00:58:11.337 --> 00:58:13.878
You will do what I say because I know.
813
00:58:15.819 --> 00:58:19.842
Even in the most polite way, if you break that statement, it's a very angry statement, man.
814
00:58:21.704 --> 00:58:26.809
So, you know, we overcomplicate the issues.
815
00:58:27.269 --> 00:58:28.650
I wouldn't call them daddy issues.
816
00:58:29.151 --> 00:58:32.534
I would just really would call them vague leadership.
817
00:58:33.395 --> 00:58:35.277
No clarity.
818
00:58:35.417 --> 00:58:36.318
And no standard.
819
00:58:37.645 --> 00:58:46.229
And so when there's an absence of that, there's obviously this idea of confusion and problems and maybe they're too demanding.
820
00:58:46.709 --> 00:58:50.250
Maybe they don't give enough space.
821
00:58:50.270 --> 00:58:52.511
There's all kinds of things that happen inside of that, man.
822
00:58:54.094 --> 00:58:57.196
Yeah, I think there's going to be a lot of people that resonate with Coach Sam.
823
00:58:57.236 --> 00:59:04.001
Like it just, yeah, that strikes to a lot of the core problems that we sort of witness and see inside.
824
00:59:04.061 --> 00:59:05.682
It's okay to talk about your dad.
825
00:59:05.742 --> 00:59:06.682
That should be your life.
826
00:59:06.723 --> 00:59:11.266
It's Ben, or the way you said, mate, it's okay to talk about your dad.
827
00:59:12.026 --> 00:59:12.627
It's okay.
828
00:59:13.675 --> 00:59:16.197
The problem is most guys don't even want to talk about it.
829
00:59:16.217 --> 00:59:16.497
Why?
830
00:59:16.537 --> 00:59:19.278
Because they hate the feeling they will feel talking about it.
831
00:59:19.959 --> 00:59:36.508
But if you get some guy to talk about his dad, not slander his dad or not gossip about his dad, but tell the facts and allow those facts to generate the feelings and stay in there, man, things will get simplified.
832
00:59:36.868 --> 00:59:38.149
But that's the problem with laziness.
833
00:59:39.113 --> 00:59:40.715
Most lazy men want to blame their dad.
834
00:59:41.135 --> 00:59:41.656
Yeah.
835
00:59:41.936 --> 00:59:47.803
Well, it's a go-to and it becomes habitual and it becomes like it's a hiding technique.
836
00:59:47.983 --> 00:59:55.812
Like you don't, you'd rather put your dad on the firing line and shoot at him till the cows come home so that I don't have to change.
837
00:59:56.012 --> 01:00:00.097
Yeah, we have to clarify when we say most men like, hey, we're in the trenches too.
838
01:00:00.177 --> 01:00:06.924
Me, you, we're dealing with these problems at a different level, but we're not sitting here lecturing anybody, man.
839
01:00:06.944 --> 01:00:09.187
We're saying we're in the mix because we are men.
840
01:00:09.667 --> 01:00:10.308
Coach, same.
841
01:00:10.648 --> 01:00:10.809
Um...
842
01:00:12.087 --> 01:00:27.999
This has been a really, really important conversation and it's been extremely valuable because I think that what you've brought into this sphere and the hard ground conversation has been very unique, impactful and raw.
843
01:00:28.579 --> 01:00:30.281
I think it's been a very raw conversation.
844
01:00:30.541 --> 01:00:38.066
And mate, I just want to ask you if you had one final message
845
01:00:39.288 --> 01:00:45.547
to give to some of the men and women that are listening in, what would that be imparting?
846
01:00:46.517 --> 01:00:48.679
It's the same message that we have at Worry Week.
847
01:00:48.779 --> 01:00:53.182
And it's the same message that we truly consider like the doctrine of Worry Week.
848
01:00:54.042 --> 01:00:58.766
And I don't like to really say that, you know, we're better than any.
849
01:00:58.786 --> 01:00:59.686
That's not the point.
850
01:01:00.127 --> 01:01:06.251
The point is we practice this and it's really this message is for men.
851
01:01:06.331 --> 01:01:08.752
It's like stop gathering.
852
01:01:10.113 --> 01:01:10.854
Stop gathering.
853
01:01:12.535 --> 01:01:21.132
If you're not ready to really fight and really talk, stop gathering because you are telling yourself that you're fighting, but it's just a feeling that you're fighting.
854
01:01:22.274 --> 01:01:24.615
But you need to begin multiplying, right?
855
01:01:24.695 --> 01:01:35.280
And the thing that you did, Josh, is by bringing the guys and having a conversation with them and going through a bloody battle, right?
856
01:01:35.420 --> 01:01:43.344
Over a year with some and over helping some to get here, helping some to be here, and then colliding with others.
857
01:01:43.424 --> 01:01:45.525
And even Steph got pulled into this.
858
01:01:46.205 --> 01:01:49.048
And but like, let's talk about it, right?
859
01:01:49.068 --> 01:01:50.670
Because why do we do that?
860
01:01:50.690 --> 01:01:52.732
Why would, why do we make it difficult?
861
01:01:53.252 --> 01:01:55.414
Because if you make it easy, then, then the fight is over.
862
01:01:56.475 --> 01:02:00.899
And some fight you win and other fights you pray that there will be one in a different battlefield.
863
01:02:01.240 --> 01:02:03.342
But we have to keep fighting.
864
01:02:04.303 --> 01:02:07.726
If you make it easy for another man, he will kick the can.
865
01:02:08.266 --> 01:02:09.187
He will pray over it.
866
01:02:09.848 --> 01:02:10.889
He will do it later.
867
01:02:11.497 --> 01:02:15.240
and he will say, let's go to the bar, have a beer, and nothing will happen.
868
01:02:15.380 --> 01:02:16.120
That's interesting.
869
01:02:16.721 --> 01:02:17.541
That's interesting.
870
01:02:18.161 --> 01:02:20.943
That's gonna spark some things up, I reckon.
871
01:02:21.364 --> 01:02:25.286
Yeah, well, I mean, stop gathering in the name of, we're gonna solve this problem.
872
01:02:25.806 --> 01:02:27.368
That's the thing though, coach.
873
01:02:27.488 --> 01:02:31.610
It's like, there's a game of, I know we're gonna kick this back off, but it's true.
874
01:02:31.830 --> 01:02:33.271
There's this game of substitution.
875
01:02:33.291 --> 01:02:35.673
I'm about to witness it again in the next week or so.
876
01:02:36.073 --> 01:02:38.355
Okay, and there are lots of these gathering things.
877
01:02:38.795 --> 01:02:45.645
But like, unless we're prepared to actually go in there and do what needs to be done, talk about what needs to be spoken.
878
01:02:46.245 --> 01:02:47.587
Otherwise, it's...
879
01:02:48.998 --> 01:02:50.879
for lack of a better term, it's a bit of a circle jerk.
880
01:02:50.939 --> 01:02:53.740
Like it's not actually affecting what needs to be affected.
881
01:02:53.900 --> 01:02:58.002
And it gives an out to what needs to be directed in.
882
01:02:58.042 --> 01:03:00.764
Like there needs to be that collision.
883
01:03:01.144 --> 01:03:01.524
Yeah.
884
01:03:02.024 --> 01:03:03.485
And there's freedom after that.
885
01:03:03.905 --> 01:03:06.386
People are freed after a collision.
886
01:03:07.067 --> 01:03:08.007
Yeah.
887
01:03:08.027 --> 01:03:11.489
You know, freed from the grudges, freed from the stories and whatever that is.
888
01:03:11.909 --> 01:03:16.351
But, you know, of course, gathering, I don't mean like, you know, don't gather with family, don't gather with men.
889
01:03:16.391 --> 01:03:18.572
And then like, you know, if you're going to deal with...
890
01:03:19.892 --> 01:03:22.094
mental health issue, stop gathering.
891
01:03:22.714 --> 01:03:24.035
Because nothing is going to happen.
892
01:03:25.876 --> 01:03:26.957
Start multiplying.
893
01:03:27.317 --> 01:03:33.461
And what that means is that real conversation, support, and the standards, you've got to put some standards in place.
894
01:03:33.581 --> 01:03:35.223
And there's a lot of work, man.
895
01:03:35.563 --> 01:03:40.906
I mean, me telling about the solution, the solution is it takes time.
896
01:03:41.067 --> 01:03:42.307
The solution is over time.
897
01:03:42.928 --> 01:03:46.750
The solution is time over intensity.
898
01:03:46.811 --> 01:03:47.791
It requires intensity.
899
01:03:47.811 --> 01:03:48.672
You can't be passive.
900
01:03:49.647 --> 01:03:51.729
These kind of problems, you can't passively solve them.
901
01:03:51.829 --> 01:03:52.789
It will never get solved.
902
01:03:53.490 --> 01:03:54.651
Yeah, that's right.
903
01:03:55.311 --> 01:03:55.772
No, beautiful.
904
01:03:56.392 --> 01:03:57.293
So keep up the good work.
905
01:03:57.873 --> 01:03:58.694
Thanks, mate.
906
01:03:58.814 --> 01:03:59.495
Thanks, mate.
907
01:03:59.775 --> 01:04:01.416
Thank you so much for coming, man.
908
01:04:01.556 --> 01:04:02.717
That was a great conversation.
909
01:04:03.838 --> 01:04:04.739
Go get cooking.
910
01:04:04.759 --> 01:04:05.379
Good day.
911
01:04:05.760 --> 01:04:08.422
Okay.
912
01:04:08.442 --> 01:04:09.983
So have you heard about Go Gray?
913
01:04:10.626 --> 01:04:12.087
They are so cool.
914
01:04:12.267 --> 01:04:12.887
Go Grain.
915
01:04:12.927 --> 01:04:13.968
Guys, Go Grain.
916
01:04:14.068 --> 01:04:21.372
If you haven't heard about it, if you don't know what it is and you handle grain in any way, shape or form, get onto it.
917
01:04:21.512 --> 01:04:23.113
Have a look at it straight away.
918
01:04:23.193 --> 01:04:27.395
They are champions because they've decided to sponsor us, but I use it every day.
919
01:04:29.016 --> 01:04:31.177
And Steph just likes to dance about it.
920
01:04:31.237 --> 01:04:32.078
You know what the best thing is?
921
01:04:32.438 --> 01:04:33.258
Ladies.
922
01:04:33.639 --> 01:04:34.639
All the ladies.
923
01:04:35.019 --> 01:04:35.720
Say it with me.
924
01:04:36.120 --> 01:04:37.821
Never wash a booklet again.
925
01:04:38.692 --> 01:04:39.933
So, you know, each to their own.
926
01:04:40.493 --> 01:04:42.494
However, they want to, you know, display.
927
01:04:42.814 --> 01:04:53.540
Look, I'm just saying it rocks because no longer do you have little pieces of paper lying around on your bench with numbers on them that you're supposed to keep and you're never supposed to let it go and you're supposed to file it away in some important place of never, never, never.
928
01:04:53.900 --> 01:05:02.705
And then your husband will come back to you three years later and say, in 2021, did you see that little piece of paper with the little piece of information on the corner that I said to you was really important at the time and I left it on your bench?
929
01:05:03.365 --> 01:05:06.787
And I expect you to follow that and file it and keep it safe.
930
01:05:07.487 --> 01:05:08.508
Well, you don't have to do that anymore.
931
01:05:08.748 --> 01:05:09.389
Thanks, Go Grain.
932
01:05:09.709 --> 01:05:14.113
If you haven't heard of Go Grain and you grow grain, go get.
933
01:05:15.053 --> 01:05:15.594
Go Grain.
934
01:05:15.634 --> 01:05:16.074
Get it.
935
01:05:16.675 --> 01:05:17.655
Go get Go Grain.
936
01:05:17.695 --> 01:05:19.057
Go get Grogan Gade.
937
01:05:19.377 --> 01:05:19.577
Ooh.
938
01:05:20.218 --> 01:05:20.718
Go get.
939
01:05:21.178 --> 01:05:22.720
Go get Grogan Gade.
940
01:05:23.100 --> 01:05:23.720
Okay?