ABOUT THIS EPISODE
What do you do when your brain asks, “What if I throw up?”
If you have emetophobia, you probably know what happens next.
What if my kid caught the stomach bug? What if this nausea means I’m sick? What if that food was bad? What if someone throws up tonight?
And suddenly you’re analyzing, planning, checking, replaying, predicting, seeking reassurance, and mentally rehearsing an emergency that isn’t actually happening.
In this episode, we’re talking about one of the hardest safety-seeking behaviors to recognize and change: RUMINATION.
The intrusive thought itself isn’t necessarily the problem. Brains have thoughts! The problem is what happens when we grab that thought, bring it over to our emetophobia and say, “Okay…let’s talk.”
So how do we NOT do that?
We’re digging into non-engagement responses (NERs): ways of allowing intrusive thoughts and uncertainty to exist without trying to solve them, suppress them, or turn them into another compulsion.
We play a game giving each other emetophobia “what ifs” and coming up with responses like:
“Maybe, maybe not.”
“That’s a problem for future me.”
“I don’t have to do anything with that.”
“There’s nothing to figure out right now.”
“I don’t need to know what this feeling means.”
“I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.”
And sometimes… “Mm-mm.” 😂
We also talk about how to practice these responses before you’re in panic mode, the difference between ignoring a thought and choosing not to engage with it, why planning can become another attempt to find certainty, and why safety-seeking behaviors can keep us chasing a feeling of safety that never quite arrives.
Plus, Katie tells the story of being trapped on a swinging carnival ride across from two kids who suddenly looked like they might throw up, Ally gets a stomach bug text after her kids had been around the sick kid, Trudy decides eating sushi with unwashed hands is a great exposure for her mom 😂, and we finish with some Emetophobia This or Thats.
The goal of recovery isn’t to stop every intrusive thought.
It isn’t to know whether you’re going to throw up.
And it isn’t to finally make yourself completely safe from vomiting.
Sometimes the thought can just be a thought.
You don’t have to answer it.
You don’t have to finish the story.
You don’t have to enter “What If Land.”
Close the tab. Cross the bridge when you actually get there. And get back to your life.
The closing message is particularly faithful to how you two end the episode: the goal isn't to stay safe; it's learning that you don't need to stay safe because you can handle the experience.
