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Welcome to Hacking Your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo,
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and Lorenzo on this episode, I want to talk about
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optimism because.
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It's going to be a great conversation.
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It's gonna be awesome, and I can't wait to discover
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what we're going to discover in this dialogue.
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Yeah, don't, don't. Don't be so naive. You just think
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everything is going to be okay when it clearly is not.
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This is not going to be a very good conversation,
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but I'm willing to try anyway. I was in a
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meeting with a group of people and there was some
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you know, things being discussed that didn't necessarily have obvious
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solutions to the problem, Like they had to be worked
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out still, and there wasn't any magic bullet that would
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have solved everything. It was clearly going to be a
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situation where they're going to be trade offs and and
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prioritization and values we're gonna have to be taken into
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account to make a decision, a hard decision on what
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the right way or the wrong way to go was.
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As this team.
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And there was a person in the meeting who was
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incredibly I wanted I wanted to say optimistic. But but
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by the end of the meeting, I believed and and
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I spoke with others afterward who also believed that they
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were being unrealistic about the situation, and and the the
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things this person would be saying were indicative of a
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of a person who you know, the old saying when
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when when a person drank the kool aid, you know,
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of their whatever, whoever their company is, they're just this
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constant cheerleader. And and I'm not saying that cheerleading isn't important.
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I'm not saying that. You know, sometimes you you have
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to take a leap of faith with your organization, uh
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if if they have done right by you in the past.
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There are times when when that might be necessary. But
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but I think that the difference between a person who
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does that and just being optimistic, they're not the same thing,
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because I know people who have been optimistic in the past,
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and it doesn't rise to the level of where I
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wanted to roll my eyes and say, if you're feeling
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this way right now, you clearly haven't considered everything. But
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I didn't want to sound pessimistic. And yet I think
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there's a way to do both. There's a way to
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be realistic about a situation without making it seem like
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you're just blindly following whatever your organization is doing. That
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you're a thinking person and you can figure things out,
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and that you can take things into account, that you're
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that kind of person without losing the optimism that is
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I think a necessity if you're going to be a
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leader of people. And I want to talk about how
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to kind of thread that needle, because I think it's
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a fine line. I think some people do it really well,
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and I think some people struggle with it.
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Yeah, I agree, I think that there's I think a
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big part of that really comes down to authenticity for me,
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Like I think that we all know people that are
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just overly joys. They have a they have a positive
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energy to them. They are kind of happy to be alive,
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They're happy to be there. They have this genuine feeling
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of you know, things are good, things are great, Like
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we can we can accomplish anything. It's great to see somebody,
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it's good to see you, like it's good to be here.
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Like they have this general sense of optimism that I
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would even say many times it's kind of contagious. Like
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they're just good people to be around. And I think
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when you are that person and people understand that and
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sense that, then it doesn't get old and it doesn't
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feel like you're kind of faking it or that you're
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you know, too far into to your point, like drinking
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the kool aid or whatever. Like you that's just who
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you are as a person. I think when people come
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across as optimistic but you're you're not getting a sense
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of like it being authentic or I see this a
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lot with people that in you know, in the leadership game,
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that are extremely well read, meaning that they read a
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lot of books about leadership, a lot of them all
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the time, and they're always quoting them and they're talking
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about them that type of thing. But then you're as
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you're even talking about it, you're just thinking, like, well,
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have I seen you implement any of this, like besides
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like that being an idea, besides that being a quote
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that you got or a thing that said, like how
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does it actually show up like every day for you?
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And what are you doing besides just reading the book?
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Like how are you implementing that into your leadership? So
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I view this like optimism aspect in the same kind
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of way where it's like either you are truly, you know,
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an optimistic person. You're somebody who has this positive energy
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and that's who you are all the time. And then
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and you're excited about something at work or a strategy
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or a process or something like, people are like, yeah,
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that's cool, like you're really into this, versus somebody who
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turns it on when they have to or or or
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then you never get the sense of the realness of
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who they are. It feels like it's just kind of
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a facade. It feels like they don't want to share,
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and they use that optimism to even push you away
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a little bit, to not get too personal or get
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too deep into who they are what they really think.
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Right, right, if I if I bury them a head
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in the sand, then the bad things can't get me, right, Like, yeah,
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and you're right. And that that is when optimism rises
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to the level of being unhealthy, because you know it,
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it kind of belies a lack of cognition around what
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the actual situation is. But there are also people who
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seem to be able to be very realistic about the
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situation is whatever it is, very realistic and kind of
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uh able to articulate the problems. But yet they still
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seem optimistic, even even in situations where they're going to
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be massive trade offs needed and there isn't a solution
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that really solves everything. There's gonna be some some fallout
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or some some hard, hard decisions made, they still seem
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to be optimistic. And and I I think the difference
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with those people it's optimism isn't on that everything's going
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to be great optimism. I believe it comes down to
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whether a person feels like they are in control of
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whatever they can be in control of, right, like that
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they are prepared with the skills, the knowledge, the abilities,
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that they're prepared with those things to be able to
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best take on whatever is about to happen, and equally
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as equally as much they are able to articulate the
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things that are out of their control and let go
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of them. And and and that allows them to have
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that optimism that doesn't let go of the realism, right
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Because if you're optimistic and and it comes off as
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like you have a lack of realism around the situation,
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that could come off as like I'm in control of
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all of this, right, But but you and I both
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know when it comes to you know, business decisions and
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sometimes you know, hard business decisions that evolve trade offs.
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You you know very well as well as I do,
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that that not everything is in our control, That there
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are things that are made, decisions that are made at
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higher pay grades than we are at UH, and that
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we just have to deal with the fallout of UH
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and kind of navigate those those.
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Things as they happen.
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But but if if I know, like on a very
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on a very broad level, I'm working for a company
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and it's going to go out of business, Okay, well
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does that terrify me or not? I don't know. Do
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I have a strong network and a good resume? You know,
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have I am? I? Do I understand what my options are?
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Do I know my own worth? If the answer is
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yes to all that, then I can I'm more likely
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to land well when the company goes out of business
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if I don't. If I can't say all those things,
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then the idea of my company going out of business
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is terrifying. Right, And in order to be optimistic about it,
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it doesn't mean that you think, oh, my company's not
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going out of business. That's that's when the optimism turns
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into the fantasy. It's when I don't need to make
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my resume great and develop my network and make sure
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that I have the right skills because my company is
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just fine. That's when the optimism rises to the fantasy.
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But optimism in the face of something difficult just means
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do I can I convey to my people a sense
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of calmness that comes from separating out the things I
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can control from the things that I can't, and on
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the things that I can control, have I taken the
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necessary steps to make sure they are most likely to
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end in my favor. I think that's really necessary if
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you're a leader, to be able to do that, And
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that's where you can kind of get people to come
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along for the ride versus just like sitting there judging
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you for not being realistic about the situation, or equally
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as bad. If you come off as pessimistic about the situation,
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then they might believe that you're not lying to them.
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They might believe that you are, that your decisions are
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rooted in reality. Oh, my company's going out of business.
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I'm gonna be destitute. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
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I have nothing.
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Okay.
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They might believe that what you're saying is true, but
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good luck getting them to follow you if that's what
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you're saying to them. Right, So, if you're hoping to
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lead the team of people through a difficult time, then
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going about it that way is equally detrimental to your
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ability to lead them.
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Yeah, No, I think it's right.
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I think it's the more you're kind of talking through
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that and I'm thinking about it, I actually think that
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it's in.
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It's in the.
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Variety of how you connect with people and interact with
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people as a leader, and like giving them and showing
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them variety is actually what develops the element of authenticity
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because like, you can be an optimistic person, you can
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be very positive, you can see the world that way.
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But if there's times when you're not like you, if
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you don't show people when you're not a little bit,
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or when you don't show people that maybe you have
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a concern or like, while I'm optimistic that we'll get there,
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I'm also frustrated on how we're being asked to do
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this or what the hurdle is that's in front of us,
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or whatever the case is, Like, if you don't give
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people the variety aspect to say like, yeah, like I
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am a positive person who sees and believes and are
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ability to get this done. But I'm going to have
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my moments, and you don't share those moments to a degree,
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you don't have that ability to to adjust or to
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to not just show one facet of who you are.
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I think that's probably what I was thinking about, was
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like those human to be human, yeah, exactly, to be
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human exactly, yeah, because like those that I think struggle
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with it. I'm thinking about in my head, like who
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those people are I've met over time, and I go like, yeah,
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they really only show you one facet, yeah, and maybe
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a slightly second one.
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But like that, by only showing that, it makes.
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It really hard to believe that there's a wholeness or
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you know, to you like there's a human element, like
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there are there are days when you show up not
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that way, and that's okay, and you should. But I
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think that when when you don't allow people to see
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you as a whole, then it kind of creates that
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like questioning of like, well, is this really who you are?
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Right right?
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There's there's there's We've talked about this in the past,
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about this importance of authenticity, But but that doesn't mean
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that you're not on stage too right, Like if a
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leader is always on stage, and I think a lot
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of people interpret that to mean that they have to
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be this kind of like this rock, you know, like
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everything's great all the time. They can't show the vulnerability
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or the weakness. And no on stage means that the
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stage that you're on, the part that you've auditioned for,
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is a part where you're auditioning to be a real person,
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not a fake person. So authenticity, authenticity combined with having
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to be on stage all the time means that what
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you're being judged at while on stage is your authenticity,
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not your positivity. Right, It's both. And the leaders that
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I know who just really do a great job of
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all always being positive, always being optimistic, not not ever
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kind of letting the other side of them out a
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little bit, many of them end up, you know, kind
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of torpedoing their own career because something gets to them. Eventually,
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Something eventually hits and all of the stuff that was
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being pushed down for months or years comes to the surface.
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And I'm not saying they you know, they blow up
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at somebody and and and start you know, going up
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in a blaze of glory. I just mean something comes
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out a little a little line or something they say
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or something that kind of completely destroys the facade that
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they've been trying to build up over a period of
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months or years, and and and it and it kind
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of creeps out, and that that kind of kills their
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entire ability to lead their team because now they're being
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seen as also also that oh, you're not only you're
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not this positive person, but also everything that we came
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to know about you is fake. And so the best
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way to not ever have that happen is to not
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try to keep it from happening, to just be yourself.
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And if you just be yourself, that's great, as long
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as who yourself is is an optimistic person. And if
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you have a hard time doing that, you need to
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kind of think about where that's rooted in, Like why
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do you have a hard time being an optimistic person
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in general? Why do you have a hard time separating
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out the things you can control from the things you can't,
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and then taking the steps to make sure that you
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align your actions with the way that makes it most
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likely to turn out in your favor. Not that you
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believe with all your heart that it will turn out
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in your favor, but that you believe that whatever the
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outcome is, you won't look back on it and think
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I could have done something differently, or I should have
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been more prepared, or I should have done this differently
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versus this. The idea is, when the chips have all fallen,
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can you look back on it and think I did
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everything that I could in order to make this turn
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out the right way, and I conveyed that to my
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people in a realistic way. And if the answer to
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those things is both yes, then regardless of what happens,
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you won't have degraded your ability to lead those people
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and your ability to lead people in general.
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Yeah, exactly. And with that it brings us to this
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episode's womanute hack. But first off, your words from our sponsors, all.
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Right for this episode is one minute hackers I want
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you to do. When you're interacting with your people, the
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key difference between coming off as optimistic or as living
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in a fantasy land about what real life is or
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what's what the actual things that are happening are are
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whether or not you have the ability to validate the
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concerns of the person you're talking to prior to moving forward.
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And so when a person is comes off as that
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drink the kool aid cheerleader kind of person. What happens
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is someone areulates something that's a problem or an issue
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that they're trying to deal with, and the response never
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addresses that thing that they brought up. It never validates
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that concern. It glosses over it from a standpoint of
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just be positive. Oh, you'll be fine, we'll get through
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it together, right, And that doesn't actually tell a person
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that their concerns are valid. It actually tells the person
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their concerns are not valid. You're saying to them, you're
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wrong to be concerned about this, but I'm not backing
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it up with anything. The right thing to do. If
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you're a leader and you're trying to convey a sense
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of optimism, it starts with validating the concern that the
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other person has, because if they're really articulating it and
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they really believe that to be true, there's a reason
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why they're saying that, And so meeting them where they
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are and kind of validating why they feel that concern
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and then helping them get to a place where they
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feel like they have more control over the situation will
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make them be less likely to be pessimistic about it
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and you'll be more likely to be seen as the
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optimistic leader, not as the fantasy land cheerleader type of leader.
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Yeah. I think it's a great call out.
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I think that it's like there's been many times in
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my career where I've rolled my eyes at that fantasy
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land like raw rah, everything is always positive cheerleader and
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like look, while there's an element of good energy that
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you can get from that, I also think that if
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you're truly talking about like being authentic and being someone
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who wants to have a positive influence on others, you
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can definitely show up in a place where your energy
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is contagious and there's an element of fun. There's an
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element of kind of like looseness and like willingness to
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be you know, silly, or to to get people, you know,
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to to level up their energy in a good and
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positive way without being the everything is awesome, you know
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uh style of leader.
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And I think that for me is actually the truest.
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Test to optimism is saying I'm optimistic because I know
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we can do this. I'm optimistic because we can have
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fun and work hard at the same time. I'm optimistic
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because we have plenty of things to celebrate and I'm
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optimistic because I know that when we apply ourselves to
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whatever we're working on, we're going.
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To find success. And I don't have to be in
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that rah rah rah, Let's go team. We can do
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this if we all work hard. You know, like there's
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a place for that.
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But I think that if you're really trying to show
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up as yourself and show up in a positive way,
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I think for me, that's the way to do it.
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Yeah, I completely agree with that. And and what it
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comes down to is if if if the people you're
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talking to believe that you've heard their concerns prior to
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showing your optimism, if they truly believe that you understand
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where they're coming from, and you haven't just kind of
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glossed over it because it's the elephant in the room
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that you don't want to address. You're just kind of
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ignoring what they've said because you want to move on
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to the positivity that you are so good at doing.
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That's when it will come off as inauthentic. But addressing
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their concerns from a standpoint of that that if they're
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articulating them, then they're real to them. They might be
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real to you. You might not agree with them, but
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the fact that they are bringing it up means that
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it is real to them in that moment, and to
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to ignore it or to not address it, and if
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you don't agree with it, you can ask more questions. Hey,
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let's let's dive more into that. Like you, you're you're
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clearly concerned about this happening. Maybe I'm missing something? What
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what are you thinking right now that maybe I'm missing
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you know, like, be open to this idea that that
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person is not just right about the about their beliefs,
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but that you're wrong. And you might be wrong, but
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chances are just operating that way will get them to
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open up about what their concerns are and that will
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tell you a lot more about what they need to
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hear in the moment to be able to let go
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of those concerns. Whereas if you just tell them, tell
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them to let go of those concerns without addressing it
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to begin with, or the reasons why they have them,
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no one's going to do that. They're not going to
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let go of their concerns. They're going to hold onto them,
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and you won't be equipped to deal with them as
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a leader because you never stopped to ask what they were,
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or why the.
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Person has them absolutely and with that it brings us
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at the end of this episode, this is hack your leadership.
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I'm Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you
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all next time.
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Welcome to Hacking Your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo,
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and Lorenzo on this episode, I want to talk about
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optimism because.
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It's going to be a great conversation.
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It's gonna be awesome, and I can't wait to discover
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what we're going to discover in this dialogue.
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Yeah, don't, don't. Don't be so naive. You just think
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everything is going to be okay when it clearly is not.
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This is not going to be a very good conversation,
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but I'm willing to try anyway. I was in a
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meeting with a group of people and there was some
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you know, things being discussed that didn't necessarily have obvious
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solutions to the problem, Like they had to be worked
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out still, and there wasn't any magic bullet that would
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have solved everything. It was clearly going to be a
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situation where they're going to be trade offs and and
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prioritization and values we're gonna have to be taken into
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account to make a decision, a hard decision on what
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the right way or the wrong way to go was.
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As this team.
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And there was a person in the meeting who was
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incredibly I wanted I wanted to say optimistic. But but
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by the end of the meeting, I believed and and
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I spoke with others afterward who also believed that they
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were being unrealistic about the situation, and and the the
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things this person would be saying were indicative of a
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of a person who you know, the old saying when
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when when a person drank the kool aid, you know,
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of their whatever, whoever their company is, they're just this
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constant cheerleader. And and I'm not saying that cheerleading isn't important.
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I'm not saying that. You know, sometimes you you have
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to take a leap of faith with your organization, uh
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if if they have done right by you in the past.
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There are times when when that might be necessary. But
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but I think that the difference between a person who
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does that and just being optimistic, they're not the same thing,
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because I know people who have been optimistic in the past,
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and it doesn't rise to the level of where I
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wanted to roll my eyes and say, if you're feeling
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this way right now, you clearly haven't considered everything. But
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I didn't want to sound pessimistic. And yet I think
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there's a way to do both. There's a way to
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be realistic about a situation without making it seem like
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you're just blindly following whatever your organization is doing. That
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you're a thinking person and you can figure things out,
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and that you can take things into account, that you're
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that kind of person without losing the optimism that is
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I think a necessity if you're going to be a
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leader of people. And I want to talk about how
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to kind of thread that needle, because I think it's
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a fine line. I think some people do it really well,
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and I think some people struggle with it.
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Yeah, I agree, I think that there's I think a
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big part of that really comes down to authenticity for me,
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Like I think that we all know people that are
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just overly joys. They have a they have a positive
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energy to them. They are kind of happy to be alive,
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They're happy to be there. They have this genuine feeling
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of you know, things are good, things are great, Like
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we can we can accomplish anything. It's great to see somebody,
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it's good to see you, like it's good to be here.
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Like they have this general sense of optimism that I
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would even say many times it's kind of contagious. Like
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they're just good people to be around. And I think
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when you are that person and people understand that and
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sense that, then it doesn't get old and it doesn't
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feel like you're kind of faking it or that you're
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you know, too far into to your point, like drinking
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the kool aid or whatever. Like you that's just who
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you are as a person. I think when people come
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across as optimistic but you're you're not getting a sense
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of like it being authentic or I see this a
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lot with people that in you know, in the leadership game,
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that are extremely well read, meaning that they read a
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lot of books about leadership, a lot of them all
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the time, and they're always quoting them and they're talking
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about them that type of thing. But then you're as
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you're even talking about it, you're just thinking, like, well,
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have I seen you implement any of this, like besides
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like that being an idea, besides that being a quote
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that you got or a thing that said, like how
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does it actually show up like every day for you?
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And what are you doing besides just reading the book?
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Like how are you implementing that into your leadership? So
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I view this like optimism aspect in the same kind
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of way where it's like either you are truly, you know,
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an optimistic person. You're somebody who has this positive energy
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and that's who you are all the time. And then
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and you're excited about something at work or a strategy
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or a process or something like, people are like, yeah,
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that's cool, like you're really into this, versus somebody who
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turns it on when they have to or or or
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then you never get the sense of the realness of
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who they are. It feels like it's just kind of
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a facade. It feels like they don't want to share,
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and they use that optimism to even push you away
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a little bit, to not get too personal or get
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too deep into who they are what they really think.
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Right, right, if I if I bury them a head
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in the sand, then the bad things can't get me, right, Like, yeah,
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and you're right. And that that is when optimism rises
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to the level of being unhealthy, because you know it,
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it kind of belies a lack of cognition around what
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the actual situation is. But there are also people who
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seem to be able to be very realistic about the
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situation is whatever it is, very realistic and kind of
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uh able to articulate the problems. But yet they still
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seem optimistic, even even in situations where they're going to
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be massive trade offs needed and there isn't a solution
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that really solves everything. There's gonna be some some fallout
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or some some hard, hard decisions made, they still seem
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to be optimistic. And and I I think the difference
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with those people it's optimism isn't on that everything's going
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to be great optimism. I believe it comes down to
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whether a person feels like they are in control of
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whatever they can be in control of, right, like that
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they are prepared with the skills, the knowledge, the abilities,
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that they're prepared with those things to be able to
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best take on whatever is about to happen, and equally
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as equally as much they are able to articulate the
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things that are out of their control and let go
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of them. And and and that allows them to have
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that optimism that doesn't let go of the realism, right
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Because if you're optimistic and and it comes off as
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like you have a lack of realism around the situation,
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that could come off as like I'm in control of
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all of this, right, But but you and I both
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know when it comes to you know, business decisions and
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sometimes you know, hard business decisions that evolve trade offs.
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You you know very well as well as I do,
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that that not everything is in our control, That there
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are things that are made, decisions that are made at
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higher pay grades than we are at UH, and that
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we just have to deal with the fallout of UH
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and kind of navigate those those.
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Things as they happen.
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But but if if I know, like on a very
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on a very broad level, I'm working for a company
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and it's going to go out of business, Okay, well
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does that terrify me or not? I don't know. Do
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I have a strong network and a good resume? You know,
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have I am? I? Do I understand what my options are?
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Do I know my own worth? If the answer is
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yes to all that, then I can I'm more likely
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to land well when the company goes out of business
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if I don't. If I can't say all those things,
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then the idea of my company going out of business
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is terrifying. Right, And in order to be optimistic about it,
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it doesn't mean that you think, oh, my company's not
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going out of business. That's that's when the optimism turns
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into the fantasy. It's when I don't need to make
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my resume great and develop my network and make sure
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that I have the right skills because my company is
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just fine. That's when the optimism rises to the fantasy.
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But optimism in the face of something difficult just means
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do I can I convey to my people a sense
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of calmness that comes from separating out the things I
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can control from the things that I can't, and on
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the things that I can control, have I taken the
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necessary steps to make sure they are most likely to
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end in my favor. I think that's really necessary if
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you're a leader, to be able to do that, And
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that's where you can kind of get people to come
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along for the ride versus just like sitting there judging
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you for not being realistic about the situation, or equally
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as bad. If you come off as pessimistic about the situation,
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then they might believe that you're not lying to them.
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They might believe that you are, that your decisions are
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rooted in reality. Oh, my company's going out of business.
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I'm gonna be destitute. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
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I have nothing.
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Okay.
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They might believe that what you're saying is true, but
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good luck getting them to follow you if that's what
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you're saying to them. Right, So, if you're hoping to
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lead the team of people through a difficult time, then
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going about it that way is equally detrimental to your
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ability to lead them.
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Yeah, No, I think it's right.
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I think it's the more you're kind of talking through
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that and I'm thinking about it, I actually think that
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it's in.
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It's in the.
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Variety of how you connect with people and interact with
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people as a leader, and like giving them and showing
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them variety is actually what develops the element of authenticity
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because like, you can be an optimistic person, you can
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be very positive, you can see the world that way.
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But if there's times when you're not like you, if
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you don't show people when you're not a little bit,
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or when you don't show people that maybe you have
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a concern or like, while I'm optimistic that we'll get there,
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I'm also frustrated on how we're being asked to do
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this or what the hurdle is that's in front of us,
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or whatever the case is, Like, if you don't give
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people the variety aspect to say like, yeah, like I
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am a positive person who sees and believes and are
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ability to get this done. But I'm going to have
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my moments, and you don't share those moments to a degree,
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you don't have that ability to to adjust or to
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to not just show one facet of who you are.
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I think that's probably what I was thinking about, was
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like those human to be human, yeah, exactly, to be
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human exactly, yeah, because like those that I think struggle
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with it. I'm thinking about in my head, like who
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those people are I've met over time, and I go like, yeah,
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they really only show you one facet, yeah, and maybe
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a slightly second one.
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But like that, by only showing that, it makes.
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It really hard to believe that there's a wholeness or
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you know, to you like there's a human element, like
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there are there are days when you show up not
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that way, and that's okay, and you should. But I
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think that when when you don't allow people to see
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you as a whole, then it kind of creates that
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like questioning of like, well, is this really who you are?
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Right right?
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There's there's there's We've talked about this in the past,
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about this importance of authenticity, But but that doesn't mean
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that you're not on stage too right, Like if a
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leader is always on stage, and I think a lot
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of people interpret that to mean that they have to
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be this kind of like this rock, you know, like
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everything's great all the time. They can't show the vulnerability
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or the weakness. And no on stage means that the
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stage that you're on, the part that you've auditioned for,
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is a part where you're auditioning to be a real person,
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not a fake person. So authenticity, authenticity combined with having
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to be on stage all the time means that what
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you're being judged at while on stage is your authenticity,
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not your positivity. Right, It's both. And the leaders that
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I know who just really do a great job of
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all always being positive, always being optimistic, not not ever
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kind of letting the other side of them out a
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little bit, many of them end up, you know, kind
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of torpedoing their own career because something gets to them. Eventually,
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Something eventually hits and all of the stuff that was
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being pushed down for months or years comes to the surface.
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And I'm not saying they you know, they blow up
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at somebody and and and start you know, going up
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in a blaze of glory. I just mean something comes
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out a little a little line or something they say
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or something that kind of completely destroys the facade that
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they've been trying to build up over a period of
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months or years, and and and it and it kind
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of creeps out, and that that kind of kills their
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entire ability to lead their team because now they're being
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seen as also also that oh, you're not only you're
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not this positive person, but also everything that we came
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to know about you is fake. And so the best
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way to not ever have that happen is to not
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try to keep it from happening, to just be yourself.
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And if you just be yourself, that's great, as long
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as who yourself is is an optimistic person. And if
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you have a hard time doing that, you need to
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kind of think about where that's rooted in, Like why
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do you have a hard time being an optimistic person
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in general? Why do you have a hard time separating
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out the things you can control from the things you can't,
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and then taking the steps to make sure that you
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align your actions with the way that makes it most
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likely to turn out in your favor. Not that you
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believe with all your heart that it will turn out
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in your favor, but that you believe that whatever the
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outcome is, you won't look back on it and think
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I could have done something differently, or I should have
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been more prepared, or I should have done this differently
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versus this. The idea is, when the chips have all fallen,
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can you look back on it and think I did
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everything that I could in order to make this turn
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out the right way, and I conveyed that to my
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people in a realistic way. And if the answer to
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those things is both yes, then regardless of what happens,
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you won't have degraded your ability to lead those people
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and your ability to lead people in general.
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Yeah, exactly. And with that it brings us to this
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episode's womanute hack. But first off, your words from our sponsors, all.
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Right for this episode is one minute hackers I want
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you to do. When you're interacting with your people, the
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key difference between coming off as optimistic or as living
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in a fantasy land about what real life is or
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what's what the actual things that are happening are are
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whether or not you have the ability to validate the
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concerns of the person you're talking to prior to moving forward.
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And so when a person is comes off as that
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drink the kool aid cheerleader kind of person. What happens
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is someone areulates something that's a problem or an issue
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that they're trying to deal with, and the response never
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addresses that thing that they brought up. It never validates
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that concern. It glosses over it from a standpoint of
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just be positive. Oh, you'll be fine, we'll get through
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it together, right, And that doesn't actually tell a person
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that their concerns are valid. It actually tells the person
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their concerns are not valid. You're saying to them, you're
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wrong to be concerned about this, but I'm not backing
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it up with anything. The right thing to do. If
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you're a leader and you're trying to convey a sense
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of optimism, it starts with validating the concern that the
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other person has, because if they're really articulating it and
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they really believe that to be true, there's a reason
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why they're saying that, And so meeting them where they
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are and kind of validating why they feel that concern
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and then helping them get to a place where they
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feel like they have more control over the situation will
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make them be less likely to be pessimistic about it
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and you'll be more likely to be seen as the
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optimistic leader, not as the fantasy land cheerleader type of leader.
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Yeah. I think it's a great call out.
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I think that it's like there's been many times in
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my career where I've rolled my eyes at that fantasy
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land like raw rah, everything is always positive cheerleader and
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like look, while there's an element of good energy that
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you can get from that, I also think that if
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you're truly talking about like being authentic and being someone
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who wants to have a positive influence on others, you
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can definitely show up in a place where your energy
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is contagious and there's an element of fun. There's an
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element of kind of like looseness and like willingness to
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be you know, silly, or to to get people, you know,
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to to level up their energy in a good and
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positive way without being the everything is awesome, you know
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uh style of leader.
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And I think that for me is actually the truest.
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Test to optimism is saying I'm optimistic because I know
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we can do this. I'm optimistic because we can have
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fun and work hard at the same time. I'm optimistic
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because we have plenty of things to celebrate and I'm
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optimistic because I know that when we apply ourselves to
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whatever we're working on, we're going.
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To find success. And I don't have to be in
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that rah rah rah, Let's go team. We can do
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this if we all work hard. You know, like there's
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a place for that.
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But I think that if you're really trying to show
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up as yourself and show up in a positive way,
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I think for me, that's the way to do it.
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Yeah, I completely agree with that. And and what it
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comes down to is if if if the people you're
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talking to believe that you've heard their concerns prior to
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showing your optimism, if they truly believe that you understand
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where they're coming from, and you haven't just kind of
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glossed over it because it's the elephant in the room
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that you don't want to address. You're just kind of
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ignoring what they've said because you want to move on
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to the positivity that you are so good at doing.
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That's when it will come off as inauthentic. But addressing
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their concerns from a standpoint of that that if they're
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articulating them, then they're real to them. They might be
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real to you. You might not agree with them, but
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the fact that they are bringing it up means that
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it is real to them in that moment, and to
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to ignore it or to not address it, and if
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you don't agree with it, you can ask more questions. Hey,
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let's let's dive more into that. Like you, you're you're
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clearly concerned about this happening. Maybe I'm missing something? What
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what are you thinking right now that maybe I'm missing
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you know, like, be open to this idea that that
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person is not just right about the about their beliefs,
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but that you're wrong. And you might be wrong, but
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chances are just operating that way will get them to
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open up about what their concerns are and that will
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tell you a lot more about what they need to
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hear in the moment to be able to let go
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of those concerns. Whereas if you just tell them, tell
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them to let go of those concerns without addressing it
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to begin with, or the reasons why they have them,
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no one's going to do that. They're not going to
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let go of their concerns. They're going to hold onto them,
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and you won't be equipped to deal with them as
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a leader because you never stopped to ask what they were,
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or why the.
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Person has them absolutely and with that it brings us
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at the end of this episode, this is hack your leadership.
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I'm Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you
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all next time.
