The Quest to Rest

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You're listening to WGSN-DB, Going Solo Network, singles talk radio channel,
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where we take a lighthearted and candid approach to discussions
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on the journey of relationship loss, divorce, parenting, being single,
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relationships building, dating, and yes, sex. Join our listeners and
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begin living your best life.
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Hello and welcome to Be Here Now, the Peaceful Empowerment
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Work Show, where presence invites perspective and allows peace. We
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are live on newstreamingnetwork.com, WGSN-DB, Going Solo Network, Radio TV,
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and podcast. Today's topic, Quest to Rest. I am your co-host,
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Judy Forder, and I am here with my co-host in peace, Miss.
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Janice Leonard.
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Hey, hi everybody.
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Hi.
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Thank you so much for being here. We really appreciate you.
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Judy and I, as you probably know, we do this
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every week, and we're here just to share our stories,
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our journeys, to find peace, wellness, mental health, mental well-being,
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and show some tools we use, some people we know
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that can offer some alternative ideas, and we love sharing it,
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hoping it can help somebody else out there. And we
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are part of a 501c3, which means you can donate
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to us and write it off on your taxes. If
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you go to our website, we have PeacefulEmpowermentWorks.org. And not
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only do we have a ribbon across the top, which
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one says shows, and you can see any possible show
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you want, but we also have a donate button on
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the top and the bottom. And if you're able to,
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donations are appreciated. If not, just watch a show, like, subscribe.
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what do they call it? Transfer? It's not transfer. It's a, yeah.
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Thank you. And anything is appreciated. We're just glad you're here.
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Absolutely. Absolutely. We just want to go through our announcements
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real quick. We want to make sure everybody is with
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us for September 3rd. When Elohim Magdalena Rosa is back
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for part three of her six part series. Divine love
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is the living intelligence. Remember, it's a cumulative thing. So
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if you haven't watched the two prior, please go back
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and do so. I still feel like it's doing things
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to me that I'm not even aware that are happening
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because there's been a lot of change since this. Since
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she has come to us with this three part series
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in which she's offering in her teachings and transmission, so.
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I know Janice is feeling it too.
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I can't put.
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A name on it until I'm through it. So I'm
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still in it.
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Yes.
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And then the other thing we're offering is the Be
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Here Now monthly chat and chew. We want to encourage
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people to grab a drink and a snack. And if
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you want to join us the last Saturday of every month,
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which will be this Saturday for August, where we get
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together in just a small group and we can talk
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about the show topics of the month. uh, and anything
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else that's on your heart. Our intention is to bring
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a small group together so that we can make connections more, um, intimate.
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I suppose. How do you, right. So how do you
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make social media more, uh, connection oriented? Well, we're going
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to try.
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Exactly. We're throwing up the flares.
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That's right. So it strikes me, you know, like I like,
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I like YouTube, watching podcasts, videos. I don't know what
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you call these things. Um, in different shows. And I
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really feel like in a way I have relationships with people,
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but you kind of don't. So, you know, in case
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anyone's feeling that way with us, you know, we want
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to have relationships.
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So come on. Exactly. Community and connection. 10 a.m. Eastern
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standard time. If you're interested, email me at judyforteratcomcast.net. Be
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here now. C and C in the subject line or Janice,
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what's the other email they can email?
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We can do it. Oh, I'm just totally blanking. PeacefulEmpowermentWorks
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at gmail.com. That'll work too.
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That'll work too. Yeah. All right. Wonderful.
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Not in a good space today.
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I was going to say, we're both feeling a little
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edgy today. So praise Lord, we don't know what's going
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to happen. But please ring us in. Take a deep
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breath in through your nose.
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All right.
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That felt good. Maybe we should have done that sooner.
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Yeah, I think so. You know, usually we really get like,
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kind of connect and get, you know, in a good
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space before the show, which we call a pregame show.
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But it wasn't like that. I just complained about all
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the problems I had.
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You were releasing.
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You were releasing.
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I was witnessing.
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It's funny because, you know, the topic, you know, this
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week I've been thinking about it. It's like, I don't know, rest, rest.
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It kind of bothered me a little, to be honest
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with you. And so when I had my water therapy
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this morning, which is my shower, Of course, Dolly Parton,
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bless her. Bless her soul and the impact she's had
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on so many and the music she's provided and the
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jealousy of her figure for her whole life. I was
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listening to her music, which didn't quite give me the
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effect I wanted. I was trying to get in a
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good space in my water therapy. And you know what
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I thought of, I had to think about is when
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I really felt like she was special. You know, when
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you're growing up, it's just, I couldn't believe anyone who
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was shaped like that. And that's really, I didn't listen
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to country music. You'd see Dolly Parton and I was like,
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oh my gosh.
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What a tiny waist. No, Big boobs were fake.
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Yeah, yeah. Because these are real, right? I don't know.
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It doesn't matter. We don't need to talk about that. Yeah. Anyways,
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it doesn't matter. But that's all. I didn't do country music.
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Didn't think much of her. But as time had gone on,
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I just heard of the things she's done for the needy,
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for where she's come from. But I didn't really get
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it until I saw Code of Many Colors. You know,
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there's nothing like, unfortunately, a movie, I guess, or a book,
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that really helps you just, you know, really get part
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of people and where their life is and where they
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came from and what she went through. I mean, that woman,
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I mean, she has an illiterate father, right. And just,
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you know, her story is just amazing. And her, you know,
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anyone who has grown up in poverty or in the Appalachians,
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I'm not sure where she was, where it was, but,
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you know, giving hope and inspiration, hopefully to not only them,
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but all of us, because, Yeah, we all have stories,
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I would imagine. You know, if you don't, amen, viewer,
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you just don't realize it yet. You know, she's just,
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she's an inspiration. Her music is incredible and bless her.
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So anyways, so The Code of Many Colors helped me.
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That Code of Many Colors, if you haven't seen the movie,
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you need to see it. We actually watched that for
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a few years. We do a Christmas Eve movie to
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feel good movie. And we did Wonderful Life in North America,
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but we did The Code of Many Colors, and that
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one stuck. If you don't know what to do this
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Christmas Eve, The Code of Many Colors. It's not so
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spiritually based. There is some, but it's about your heart,
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you know? Kind of like what we like to think
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we're about anyways, is just, you know, who are you?
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Who do you want to be? Who do you try
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to be? And go for your goals and respect your
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past and history. Okay.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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I feel like Coat of Many Colors was always one
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of my favorite songs. So when they came out with
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the movie, I was super stoked. And Maddie was young.
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And I love the fact that Maddie loved the movie. Yeah.
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And I think the biggest thing that always stood out
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for me was she had this beautiful coat of colors
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that her mother made for her just out of scraps.
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But she loved it. And everybody made fun of her
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for it. And she didn't care. she did not care
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at all because she understood that every stitch was a
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stitch of love from her mother.
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And well she she cared for a little while which
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is makes her human right yeah she first kids first
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picked on her she was like oh no i'm not
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gonna wear it.
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But yeah yes you know so in.
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True dolly parton fashion she learned from it and loved
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it and the coat every stitch of love and oh Yeah.
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One of my favorite quotes from her when the whole
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gay marriage thing was a thing, they asked her her
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stance and she was like, sure, why not? Everybody should
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have to suffer.
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Oh, Dolly.
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Meanwhile, she had a very long marriage to Carl, her husband, Carl,
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that did not want to be in the public eye
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and never was i just found amazing to me and
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how she was able to allow him to honor the
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life that he wanted and she lived the glorious life
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that she led i mean yeah that's just one miracle
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after another do you know if she had or how
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many kids she had uh she was never able to
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have children oh i.
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Wonder i can't think of it oh well wow see
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there we go another facet of her what she's gone
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through and lived with.
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Yep yep very interesting so yes uh yeah we couldn't
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we couldn't have a show today without acknowledging miss dolly
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parton so thank you for that janice Um, it's interesting
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because this quest for rest, I feel like has you
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a little unsettled. It has me a little unsettled and,
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you know, we, we always want to show up with
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suggestions and tools that we've used that have been successful
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for us. We are still in process people. We are
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still in the process of learning how to truly rest
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because we've all grown up in a society where you push, push,
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push you go, go, go. You work, work, work. You thrive, thrive, thrive.
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And based on how hard you work, and if you're
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working constantly, is a reflection of the quality of person
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that you are. So this whole idea of rest, you know,
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in my mind, if you're resting and there's stuff to
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be done, then you're lazy. So it makes sense that
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this has made us a little uncomfortable. And, you know,
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Janice and I, we are no gurus. And we say
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it over and over and over again. Our goal here
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is to get you to tap into you. You are
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your own guru. You are your own superhero. My good friend,
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Bob Syma has a song. And one of the lines is,
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you know, about someone takes your watch and then tries
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to sell you back the time. And, you know, we
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have people out there telling you, if you do things
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like this, they'll the self-help. If you do A, B, C, D,
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then you'll get this result. It's not cookie cutter. There
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aren't cookie cutter programs out there. Because if you do A, B, C,
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and D because it worked for them, then you're trying
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to be them. That's why it may work for a
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little while. But does it stick? So this has really
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been an exercise in tapping into what does my body want?
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What does my soul want? What does my mind need?
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What does rest look like? so we're gonna take that
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dive in right now.
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All righty then.
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So very oh you can pull up that first slide
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please with our lovely boat there it is the old
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ways aren't doing it anymore the constant working and grinding
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in order to be successful is bullshit What would it
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look like for you to embrace the concept that rest, recovery,
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and reflection are essential parts of living a life filled
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with love, joy, and happiness? And this is the question
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that I pose to myself. What would it look like?
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It was one of my goals, intentions, start of the year. Like,
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I'm going to figure out what it is and how
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I am going to be capable of resting. So if
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we can hit that next slide. First, I had to
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figure out what exactly rest was. Rest is a state
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of physical and mental relaxation where activity stops or slows
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down so the body and mind can recover, repair, and
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regain energy. It is essential for health, preventing burnout, and
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maintaining daily performance. So you read that and you think, hey,
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rest is something important. It doesn't mean you're lazy. And
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then we have the nice meme by Eleanor Brown. Rest
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and self-care are so important. When you take time to
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replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve from the overflow.
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You cannot serve from an empty vessel. And how many
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times have we heard cancer from an empty cup? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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You know, that's me. I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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I've heard it a million times.
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Been there, not done that.
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This is a great concept. So I think for me,
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it was like, you know, you hear things like there's
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no rest for the weary. I'll rest when I'm dead.
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Things like that. So when you hear you need to
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have periods of rest in your day, it's like, do I?
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So when I dug a little deeper, I thought, maybe
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I really do. So, can we go to the next slide, please, Silverio? So,
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all right, what, rest. Physical state, it's a pause from
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physical work or movement to ease tight muscles and lower fatigue. Well, okay,
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so physical rest, that means I have to lay down, right?
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Mental state, a break from heavy thinking, problem solving, and
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constant information intake. Huh? Oh, information intake. That means I
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can't just sit and scroll through my phone. And then
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this part active versus passive. You can have passive rest,
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which is lying down, sleeping or sitting quietly or active,
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which I loved walking, reading a book or meditating. Okay,
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so movement can be considered rest. All right.
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Isn't reading a book taking in information?
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I guess maybe it depends on what kind of book.
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Huh.
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Okay.
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That's part of my thoughts today.
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We'll see. Let's see how it unfolds. The importance of
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rest repairs the body. It gives your tissues time to heal,
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balances hormones, and keeps the heart healthy. Well, that sounds good.
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It sharpens the brain, helps sort memories, boosts focus, and
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improves problem-solving skills. Well, that sounds important too. It lifts
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your mood. It lowers stress hormones like cortisol. It reduces anger.
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Lord knows I need that lately. Anxiety and sadness. Uh-oh. Okay.
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and protects health. It strengthens your immune system. So I'm like, well, that,
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that all sounds like a no brainer. So Janice, what's
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been your resistance to rest?
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Oh boy. Well, let me tell you, just listening to
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you read that makes me uncomfortable.
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Okay.
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Because, you know, I think intellectually we know all these things. Well,
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Maybe you don't, but most of us probably know these things.
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And so what do I do is I beat myself
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up because I don't. And like, okay, so what is rest? Okay, now,
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if your coping mechanism is to shut down, let's just
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say it is, that's what you do. And you don't
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realize it's what you're doing, really, until many, many years later.
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Like I remember even being little, I would get to
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actually The reward is I get to have the TV.
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I got up from school until Merv Griffin came on.
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And I lay on the couch. That's my time. And
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Saturday mornings before everyone got up, I could watch my cartoons. Okay.
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That's how I take care of myself. Okay. You go
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through life and you work, you work, you raise kids
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and you chaos and go, go, go. You're off from work.
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Maybe you start not having kids worry all the time.
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And so, yeah, I sit in front of the TV
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and rest. Okay, so you do that and you think
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you're resting. And then you start listening to these people say, oh, meditation. Oh,
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this and do the walk in the woods. Like, I
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don't want to. Why don't I want to? I don't
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want to. because it will free up my brain and probably,
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you know, and, and, and that's where I'm at. I,
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I've always just gone to keep my brain busy. Even
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if I'm sitting here, I'll be at TV, uh, you know,
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games on the phone, you know, going, I am going
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all the time with my brain. The thought of not
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keeping it busy scares me. You know, uh, Okay.
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Yeah.
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I like walk in the woods. I used to walk
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in the woods, but now I'd be singing, doing it
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because I want to walk in the woods because it's
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going to give me that quality time to center myself.
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And Oh my God, that's scary. I don't do it.
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I still don't do it. And I know I should
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do it and I want to do it, but I
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don't want to do it. And so this is, this
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is me, you know? And so what do I do?
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My fallback put on TV show and, And that's not
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even enough anymore. I also have to, while I'm putting
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a stupid TV show on, then I have to. to
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play a game. Like I play Sudoku or I play
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Arrows or I play whatever that's mindless. It can't be
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really thoughtful because it doesn't do the trick. Because I
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can't half listen to the TV show and do it. Anyway,
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so that's me. And I look around and I think
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I'm terrible, right? Well, I didn't. and working on not
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thinking I'm terrible. I look around, well, my husband, he
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always has to keep busy. He doesn't, you know, you
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could say, oh, well, he's not in front of the
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TV or shut down. Oh yeah, he's got to compulsively
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be doing something, whether it's working, fixing something, going there,
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going there. He'll even read. See, that's why I question read.
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Because that's the same thing. It's just not being present
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with your thoughts and everything if you read it. Because
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if it was, I'd read. No, I've got books on
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tape because I can't read. So, you know, it's just,
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it's hard. And it's like, I know that if I
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would just do that next thing, take a walk in
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the woods, whatever, it would be good for me. I
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bet you it would be good for me. I bet
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you I'd feel really good. I can't get myself to
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do it. So here I am, you know, and then
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we have really great guests who do these things. And
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I'm like, I don't, I don't, you know, it's like,
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I'm not present enough. The thing I can say if
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I'm trying to be positive about this, which I am, is,
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you know, like this show once a week, I do
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once a week. I'm present. I have to think about
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whatever the topic is and what do I feel about it.
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And sometimes as the week goes on, I will think. Sorry,
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I get my phone on off, but it's ringing in
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my ear. So I don't know if you can hear it.
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No.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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What was I saying? I don't know what I was saying.
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You hear that they think about the topic of the show. Yeah.
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So I mean, I am like, so during the week
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I have moments that I do think about it and
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I definitely have Thursday mornings and I don't want the
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kids wrong. You know, like I had my grandsons visiting
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like show morning, you know, I need to do some
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me time. I guess that's the only thing I do.
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So that's why the show has helped me so much
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because I do take, but I don't know. I can't
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imagine that I'm not the only one, you know, if
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you're exercising or something, maybe you can be present with
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you while you're doing it. But I think we're all
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like that in a way, I think. So that's why
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this one makes me uncomfortable because I can go along
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with everything we're saying and say, yeah, or I can
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just be honest and say, I struggle with this one.
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I really, I don't, I want to just shut down
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my mind. I don't want to be out there. Okay.
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That's, that's, that's what we do. We show up and
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we talk about it. So we're going to take a
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quick commercial break. And when we get back, we're going
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to talk some more.
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Hello and welcome back to Be Here Now, the Peaceful
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Empowerment Work Show, where presence invites perspective and allows peace. Today,
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we are tackling our quest to rest. So before the break,
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Janice shared with us her struggle. And the struggle is real, Janice.
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And I feel like all through the long commercial break,
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all I kept hearing is grace. The greatest gift we
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can give ourselves when we're learning to rest is grace.
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Because us shoulding, coulding, woulding ourselves doesn't serve at all.
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00:24:16.029 --> 00:24:18.880
And it's funny, when you were saying those things, I
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kept hearing, that's an old pattern, Janice. That's an old pattern. Yeah.
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I know.
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So it's very interesting because, you know, like we were
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saying before, rest is something that as a society, we're
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not encouraged to rest. And it looks different for everybody.
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So that's why, you know, we come on here every
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week and we offer this information and we have wonderful
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guests on and we've said it before. And I just
399
00:24:47.849 --> 00:24:50.150
kept hearing really strongly today that we need to say
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00:24:50.170 --> 00:24:54.140
it again. You take what resonates for you, what feels
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right for you, and you throw the rest away. So Janice,
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00:24:58.779 --> 00:25:03.000
you seem feeling like you should be walking through the woods. Well,
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if you, you know, it's funny, Jen laughs at me
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00:25:06.569 --> 00:25:08.660
because I keep calling it my light body. If your
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light body doesn't want to walk through the woods, then
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why would you do that? You know, so that I, yes,
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I call it the light body, but I have been asking.
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00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:23.420
Because like I said, I started in January really working
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with this. Okay. It is important. I understand it is important.
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00:25:30.829 --> 00:25:34.170
So what does it look like for me? For me,
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it was okay. I'm going to allow myself to sit
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on the couch. I'm going to allow myself to leave
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my phone down. And it wasn't for an entire day.
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I started in little increments of time and even in,
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I'm going to go 20 minutes without my phone or
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thinking about work or an email that I have to
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send or anything like that. And the mind was the
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toughest thing for me. Just like you said, my mind
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wants to keep, but, but there are things to do.
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I should be doing this. I should be doing that.
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You know, there were things that I hadn't thought about
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for months about getting done, but the second I sat
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still and the intention was to rest and they all
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started coming to my head. Oh, well you can be
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moving this from that room to that room. Now you
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can be doing that. I'm like, I haven't thought about
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that in months. Why is it coming up now? So
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it was really, it's, it's been a juggling match between,
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I don't even know what it looks like. Not, I
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00:26:38.910 --> 00:26:42.690
don't think it's about not having thoughts. What has worked
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for me is like allowing the thoughts to flow through. Oh,
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I see that. I see that. Not grabbing hold of
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something and being like, oh, I should really be doing
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this right now. Or I shouldn't be doing this right now.
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It's about... I kind of see it as near the
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old time when the movies were old and you could
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see frame by frame and it would make that... That's
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kind of what I see my thoughts as now. And
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instead of grabbing hold of any and like chewing on them,
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I just let them flow. And Oddly enough, that seems
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to work for me because I can get into, I
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wouldn't even call it meditative, but maybe it is. I
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don't know. It's letting the brain do what the brain
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does without grabbing hold of a thought, something that I
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have to do, something that I should be doing. Just
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letting it flow.
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You know, this is totally what just came to me.
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Is this, I am moving and I'm working on moving completely,
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if I can, from my head to my heart. Like,
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you know, this whole, I got to do this, I
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got to do that. That's like, to me, it's a
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head thing. And that's what I do is I sit
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here and I'm like, oh, look at, you know, you should, should.
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Because I've always been goal oriented. And this is one
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of my big struggles too is, okay, I want to
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be here. Okay, I need to do that, that, that, that,
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and then I'll get there. And it's just like this
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health and wellness. It's not like you ever really get there.
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And so I've had to start changing that goal setting
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on me. Because if you think, oh, look, I've been
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in here a year and I'm still not blah, blah. Yeah,
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00:28:32.559 --> 00:28:35.579
you're setting yourself up because this is a process. It's
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not a goal setting thing. But also, I am staying
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in my head when I'm doing these shoulds. It's not
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about what do I feel like doing? You know, again,
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I'm doing that, which in the blame and the shoulds
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and the coulds and the you're not good enough. I
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think they live in the brain more than the heart.
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So it's just, it's like maybe instead of when I'm,
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when I am sitting down, if I could try to
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be in my heart place, I'll just do what my
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heart wants to do.
473
00:29:05.950 --> 00:29:06.170
Yes.
474
00:29:06.950 --> 00:29:08.559
Being in my head saying, Oh, I should be doing this.
475
00:29:08.599 --> 00:29:09.759
I'm not doing this. I'm not good.
476
00:29:09.779 --> 00:29:10.019
You know?
477
00:29:10.380 --> 00:29:10.640
Hmm.
478
00:29:11.390 --> 00:29:14.049
Yes, because the shoulding, coulding and the beating ourselves up
479
00:29:14.130 --> 00:29:17.299
is not rest. You may be sitting still, but it's
480
00:29:17.339 --> 00:29:22.319
still not rest. And that's something that I learned through
481
00:29:22.359 --> 00:29:26.299
the process. And, you know, I still haven't mastered anything,
482
00:29:26.740 --> 00:29:30.539
but that's an excellent point because that's what we need
483
00:29:30.559 --> 00:29:32.410
to do. And that's what I started doing. I started
484
00:29:32.450 --> 00:29:35.650
dropping into my heart and asking, okay, what does my
485
00:29:35.710 --> 00:29:41.079
heart want to do for rest today? And I've gotten
486
00:29:41.119 --> 00:29:42.980
to the point where I was telling Janice in the
487
00:29:43.019 --> 00:29:46.460
pregame where, and just in the past four weeks, so
488
00:29:46.500 --> 00:29:50.420
this hasn't been a quick process for me because it's
489
00:29:50.460 --> 00:29:56.549
a practice. Everything we do is a practice. And it's
490
00:29:56.569 --> 00:30:01.559
a reprogramming of the old automatic ways. So in the
491
00:30:01.599 --> 00:30:04.960
past month, I think, I have been making the intentional
492
00:30:05.119 --> 00:30:08.509
effort to, I call it my 3D job. Between my
493
00:30:08.769 --> 00:30:12.150
3D job, I have a brief window before I start
494
00:30:12.210 --> 00:30:15.509
working with clients with my intuitive counseling. So I will
495
00:30:15.569 --> 00:30:20.430
intentionally go out on the couch and I will lay down,
496
00:30:20.569 --> 00:30:23.730
whether I close my eyes and fall asleep or not,
497
00:30:23.869 --> 00:30:27.349
whether it's 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, sometimes 45 minutes.
498
00:30:28.509 --> 00:30:33.180
But I intentionally... Still my body and still my mind.
499
00:30:33.819 --> 00:30:36.019
And I find the only way I can do that
500
00:30:36.140 --> 00:30:38.880
is being present in the moment and saying, I am
501
00:30:38.980 --> 00:30:42.980
resting to restore. I am resting to recalibrate. I am
502
00:30:43.119 --> 00:30:48.309
resting because I, my body needs to rest. But there
503
00:30:48.349 --> 00:30:51.109
are times I just over and over again, resting to restore,
504
00:30:51.250 --> 00:30:54.470
resting to restore, resting to restore, resting because it keeps
505
00:30:54.529 --> 00:30:55.849
me present in this.
506
00:30:55.869 --> 00:30:57.410
Wow, that's great.
507
00:30:58.880 --> 00:31:00.940
That's how I have to work with my mind. The other,
508
00:31:00.980 --> 00:31:02.819
you know, the thoughts and everything are still flowing in
509
00:31:02.839 --> 00:31:07.559
the background, but I'm focused on the resting. And it's
510
00:31:07.579 --> 00:31:10.259
so funny because back when I was teaching, I got
511
00:31:10.359 --> 00:31:14.460
so frustrated about 15 years in because, you know, they
512
00:31:14.480 --> 00:31:16.589
come and they do the observations. And one of the
513
00:31:16.630 --> 00:31:19.990
things that they would always comment on was my connection
514
00:31:20.009 --> 00:31:22.349
with the kids. And it was just something that was
515
00:31:22.430 --> 00:31:25.309
very natural because I knew my favorite teachers were the
516
00:31:25.450 --> 00:31:28.940
ones that connected with me. So when I wanted to
517
00:31:28.980 --> 00:31:30.920
be a teacher, I knew that that was going to
518
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:34.220
be number one priority. Because I didn't want to learn
519
00:31:34.259 --> 00:31:38.890
from the other ones that didn't. But they made this
520
00:31:39.029 --> 00:31:42.390
shift where everything had to be written down. It was
521
00:31:42.430 --> 00:31:45.230
almost like, what is the dialogue? What is the script
522
00:31:45.269 --> 00:31:47.970
you're going to use when talking to your kids? And
523
00:31:47.990 --> 00:31:52.759
it made me so angry. But what it made me
524
00:31:52.819 --> 00:31:58.150
realize is not everybody functions the way I function. Every
525
00:31:58.250 --> 00:32:00.970
teacher's goal was not to connect with the kids or
526
00:32:01.009 --> 00:32:04.990
that was mine. So it had to move from something
527
00:32:05.009 --> 00:32:10.839
that just happened through me organically to something intentional. And
528
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:12.700
it pissed me off because I felt like it took
529
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:16.440
me out of my flow to have to script it
530
00:32:16.559 --> 00:32:20.759
and write it down. So hearing, you know, doing this
531
00:32:21.099 --> 00:32:25.599
and having this topic and understanding that being intentional matters.
532
00:32:27.940 --> 00:32:31.220
Being intentional matters. Resting was not something that came easy
533
00:32:31.259 --> 00:32:34.380
to me. Resting is not something that was natural. So
534
00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:38.190
I do have to be intentional. And that's where the
535
00:32:38.630 --> 00:32:45.390
repetition of rest to restore, rest to recalibrate, this started
536
00:32:45.569 --> 00:32:50.140
flowing through my head. And now it's like, okay, how
537
00:32:50.160 --> 00:32:51.900
do we want to rest today? Go sit in the
538
00:32:51.940 --> 00:32:56.880
sun on the deck. Okay. Go for a walk. Don't
539
00:32:56.900 --> 00:33:02.390
take your phone. Okay. And I trust the guidance that
540
00:33:02.569 --> 00:33:06.410
I get because I'm asking the question. I'm asking my heart,
541
00:33:06.509 --> 00:33:11.609
what do you want to do for your downtime today? Now,
542
00:33:11.630 --> 00:33:13.950
I don't know if that resonates with anybody else out there,
543
00:33:14.470 --> 00:33:17.390
but I, Janice, just like you, I'd be like, well,
544
00:33:17.509 --> 00:33:19.950
everybody else is hugging trees and walking through the woods.
545
00:33:21.890 --> 00:33:25.579
That's not for me to do today. Will it be
546
00:33:25.700 --> 00:33:28.579
one day next week? Maybe. but it's not the way
547
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:30.000
my body wants to rest today.
548
00:33:32.069 --> 00:33:37.710
And, you know, too, this reminds me of, it's a process.
549
00:33:38.009 --> 00:33:40.829
Just like, I like to think, why am I still then,
550
00:33:40.910 --> 00:33:45.849
you know, but, you know, probably, maybe I've said this before,
551
00:33:45.869 --> 00:33:47.450
the same thing I just said, but I understand it
552
00:33:47.490 --> 00:33:50.650
in a deeper level today. You know, the fact that
553
00:33:51.410 --> 00:33:53.109
it's going to come out of my head into my heart.
554
00:33:54.450 --> 00:33:57.369
You know, because I'm worrying about what I am and
555
00:33:57.410 --> 00:34:00.809
not being instead of being present, but you know, yeah.
556
00:34:00.930 --> 00:34:01.089
Okay.
557
00:34:01.109 --> 00:34:02.829
I feel like we've talked about that before, but this
558
00:34:02.869 --> 00:34:06.210
time it's a little deeper and maybe a year from
559
00:34:06.250 --> 00:34:09.989
now I'll present even differently. Who knows, but I've got
560
00:34:10.030 --> 00:34:12.250
to get off that, that judging.
561
00:34:12.989 --> 00:34:13.230
Yes.
562
00:34:13.409 --> 00:34:15.530
I'm not there. I'm not there. I'm not the goal yet.
563
00:34:16.289 --> 00:34:18.969
I'm not there. So you're failing, right?
564
00:34:19.750 --> 00:34:20.570
It's a process.
565
00:34:21.010 --> 00:34:21.219
Yeah.
566
00:34:21.239 --> 00:34:22.260
It's a process. So yeah.
567
00:34:22.489 --> 00:34:26.289
I mean, I just remember Janice, we've talked about, you're
568
00:34:26.670 --> 00:34:29.289
going numb in front of the television about how it
569
00:34:29.349 --> 00:34:32.469
is very different today than it was back when you
570
00:34:32.510 --> 00:34:38.500
first started. And this, they're like, I'm hearing right now.
571
00:34:38.519 --> 00:34:42.619
So think about the intention, being intentional. I am going
572
00:34:42.659 --> 00:34:47.599
to sit in front of the TV and allow myself to,
573
00:34:48.280 --> 00:34:51.880
you know, that that's what I'm hearing is that's relaxing
574
00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:56.329
to your brain. And I had to laugh when you
575
00:34:56.349 --> 00:34:59.570
said Sudoku, Sudoku involves numbers. That is not restful for
576
00:34:59.610 --> 00:35:04.409
me at all. That is restful for you. That is
577
00:35:04.449 --> 00:35:05.309
not restful for me.
578
00:35:05.989 --> 00:35:09.099
Well, I love patterns. I love figuring out patterns and keeping,
579
00:35:09.340 --> 00:35:11.320
then that's why like the arrows, it's just, it's all
580
00:35:11.360 --> 00:35:13.840
a pattern. You just, you know, Hey, it's a pattern.
581
00:35:13.860 --> 00:35:15.260
You get the pattern and you can do it.
582
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:17.690
That is something that comes natural for you.
583
00:35:17.710 --> 00:35:18.769
Beautiful.
584
00:35:18.789 --> 00:35:22.159
Beautiful. And it can start help you identifying the patterns
585
00:35:22.199 --> 00:35:24.159
in your life. You have a pattern of beating yourself
586
00:35:24.239 --> 00:35:27.460
up when you don't set the intention. So if you say,
587
00:35:27.639 --> 00:35:29.860
I'm going to allow, I'm setting the intention to sit
588
00:35:29.880 --> 00:35:32.219
here and rest. And this is how my heart wants
589
00:35:32.280 --> 00:35:37.719
to rest today. Then it changes the whole book of it.
590
00:35:38.579 --> 00:35:42.500
It takes that whole off your shoulders, the whole block, whatever.
591
00:35:43.099 --> 00:35:47.059
Exactly. You're not comparing yourself to anybody else anymore because
592
00:35:47.079 --> 00:35:49.000
you're going by what your heart is guiding.
593
00:35:48.719 --> 00:35:49.039
You to do.
594
00:35:51.989 --> 00:35:54.250
And, you know, maybe I've got too much trauma to
595
00:35:54.309 --> 00:35:56.309
do it quickly. Maybe it's just going to take the
596
00:35:56.349 --> 00:35:56.889
rest of my life.
597
00:35:56.929 --> 00:35:57.489
Who knows?
598
00:35:57.989 --> 00:36:00.730
But, you know, just don't be judging it.
599
00:36:01.230 --> 00:36:01.510
No.
600
00:36:01.829 --> 00:36:05.050
And the whole, I think one of the biggest messages,
601
00:36:05.710 --> 00:36:09.389
no matter what our topic is, is it's a process
602
00:36:10.210 --> 00:36:13.570
and it's a practice. And what we would love for
603
00:36:14.469 --> 00:36:17.579
ourselves and anybody who's watching to be able to do
604
00:36:17.739 --> 00:36:22.079
is start enjoying the process. Love the journey.
605
00:36:23.619 --> 00:36:27.579
You know what? My husband went to see someone I
606
00:36:27.619 --> 00:36:31.119
used to work with and she said, Oh, how's Janice
607
00:36:31.159 --> 00:36:33.929
doing in that? He says, well, she's retired now and
608
00:36:34.030 --> 00:36:40.250
she's recovering from a lifetime of stress, which is what I,
609
00:36:40.389 --> 00:36:45.110
which is what I told him. I tried to switch
610
00:36:45.150 --> 00:36:48.679
it in my brain because I, I am recovering from
611
00:36:48.739 --> 00:36:50.039
a lifetime of stress.
612
00:36:50.179 --> 00:36:51.099
You really are.
613
00:36:51.119 --> 00:36:54.300
And it might not look like, you know, I imagine
614
00:36:54.380 --> 00:36:55.059
it should look like.
615
00:36:56.389 --> 00:37:00.130
Exactly. And you know, you still do an awful lot.
616
00:37:00.269 --> 00:37:04.510
You may be retired from a outside 3d job, but
617
00:37:04.570 --> 00:37:08.050
you're still doing an awful lot in your life. So
618
00:37:08.130 --> 00:37:12.800
it's not like you're sitting around eating bonbons. You know,
619
00:37:12.840 --> 00:37:16.159
you're still in service to others doing this show. You're
620
00:37:16.199 --> 00:37:19.940
in service to others. Being a mom, you're in service
621
00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.500
to others. So it's funny because I was up Monday
622
00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:27.579
morning walking in the rain and all I kept hearing
623
00:37:27.719 --> 00:37:30.210
over and over again is we serve from the overflow.
624
00:37:30.590 --> 00:37:34.309
We serve from the overflow. We serve from the overflow.
625
00:37:35.570 --> 00:37:37.670
So in order for us to fill our cup, Janice,
626
00:37:37.730 --> 00:37:40.869
what is it that fills your cup? It's going to
627
00:37:40.889 --> 00:37:45.849
look different for everybody. So these are some questions that
628
00:37:45.889 --> 00:37:47.760
we came up with. If you can go to the
629
00:37:47.820 --> 00:37:52.820
next slide. These are some questions that just came through.
630
00:37:52.840 --> 00:37:56.400
You know, what are your thoughts about rest? Janice did
631
00:37:56.420 --> 00:37:59.719
a wonderful job explaining how she feels and her resistance
632
00:37:59.760 --> 00:38:03.610
to it. What does rest look like to you? These
633
00:38:03.670 --> 00:38:05.670
are great questions to ask yourself because it's going to
634
00:38:05.690 --> 00:38:10.250
look different for everybody. What does rest feel like to you?
635
00:38:10.690 --> 00:38:17.780
At first, rest was extremely uncomfortable for extremely uncomfortable do
636
00:38:17.820 --> 00:38:19.909
you feel safe enough to rest and that's a big
637
00:38:19.989 --> 00:38:23.550
one I've had to remind myself and I've had to
638
00:38:23.610 --> 00:38:26.949
tell plenty of clients you're not a shark you're not
639
00:38:26.989 --> 00:38:32.190
going to die if you stop is rest something you
640
00:38:32.230 --> 00:38:35.869
must earn that was a big one for me because
641
00:38:35.909 --> 00:38:37.750
I'd be like oh well after I do this this
642
00:38:37.789 --> 00:38:39.829
and this and this then I can sit down for
643
00:38:39.889 --> 00:38:41.849
a minute and that's my mother I can hear her
644
00:38:41.889 --> 00:38:44.329
saying it we have to do this this this and
645
00:38:44.369 --> 00:38:47.400
this Before I can sit down. My mother was a smoker.
646
00:38:48.039 --> 00:38:50.679
And the only reason she missed smoking when she stopped
647
00:38:50.739 --> 00:38:52.730
because it was the only time she allowed herself to
648
00:38:52.769 --> 00:38:58.929
sit down. So think about what patterns are running in
649
00:38:58.969 --> 00:39:01.329
your life where you feel like you have to earn
650
00:39:01.630 --> 00:39:06.000
the right to rest. Is it safe enough for you
651
00:39:06.059 --> 00:39:15.789
to rest? You are the greatest project you'll ever work on. Restart, rest,
652
00:39:16.190 --> 00:39:19.539
refocus as many times as you need. Because like we've
653
00:39:19.559 --> 00:39:23.599
been saying, it's a practice. And the more you practice,
654
00:39:25.039 --> 00:39:29.969
those connections, those nerve endings reconnect, you rewire, new automatic response.
655
00:39:33.940 --> 00:39:38.099
And a big thing is give yourself permission. Give yourself
656
00:39:38.139 --> 00:39:41.530
permission to be curious and explore what rest means to you,
657
00:39:41.949 --> 00:39:43.829
what it looks like for you, what it feels like
658
00:39:43.869 --> 00:39:49.869
for you. Because when you can give yourself that gift
659
00:39:49.889 --> 00:39:55.050
of Like it says there, it's the greatest project that
660
00:39:55.090 --> 00:39:57.110
you'll ever work on. It's the greatest gift you can
661
00:39:57.150 --> 00:40:02.449
ever give to yourself. Yes, there's all the science behind
662
00:40:03.190 --> 00:40:09.559
the benefits of rest. And that's great. The first step
663
00:40:09.679 --> 00:40:13.619
is allowing yourself to fully do it and figure out
664
00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:14.780
what it looks like for you.
665
00:40:14.800 --> 00:40:23.190
That's good. That's the perfect way to end the show.
666
00:40:24.570 --> 00:40:26.250
And look at that for the first time ever, we're
667
00:40:26.289 --> 00:40:27.170
running right on time.
668
00:40:28.889 --> 00:40:29.329
Wow.
669
00:40:31.760 --> 00:40:34.079
The one thing I want to add is something else
670
00:40:34.159 --> 00:40:37.519
I've realized is, you know, working that 3d job that
671
00:40:37.579 --> 00:40:42.059
I do, or even out and about, um, you can
672
00:40:42.360 --> 00:40:45.190
rest can simply be, I close my eyes and I
673
00:40:45.210 --> 00:40:49.030
allow myself to take a deep breath. I allow myself
674
00:40:49.070 --> 00:40:51.530
to sit back from the computer, close my eyes for
675
00:40:51.570 --> 00:40:55.289
a couple minutes, and focus on my breathing. It doesn't
676
00:40:55.329 --> 00:41:00.139
have to be a big production. It's you saying to yourself,
677
00:41:00.739 --> 00:41:08.880
I need a minute, and that's okay. Give yourself permission
678
00:41:08.940 --> 00:41:11.989
to start small. Instead of getting to that point of
679
00:41:12.050 --> 00:41:24.500
complete overwhelm, walk away for a minute. You are the
680
00:41:24.539 --> 00:41:31.639
greatest gift. So the more you can function from the
681
00:41:31.679 --> 00:41:36.250
guidance of your heart, Janice keeps talking about the path,
682
00:41:37.289 --> 00:41:40.309
the easier the path gets because we stop mind-fucking and
683
00:41:40.349 --> 00:41:42.409
trying to figure everything out. We don't have to figure
684
00:41:42.469 --> 00:41:45.610
everything out. Our divine blueprint is in there. We just
685
00:41:45.630 --> 00:41:48.730
need to listen to the guidance. And you got it.
686
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:59.179
Any final thoughts, Janice? Oh, that's my final thought.
687
00:42:00.300 --> 00:42:03.920
I love it. It's really, it's kept me thinking about
688
00:42:03.960 --> 00:42:08.440
so many different things. And that's great. If I could
689
00:42:08.460 --> 00:42:10.340
finally leave the show with all these thoughts, it was
690
00:42:10.360 --> 00:42:11.449
a very good show for me.
691
00:42:12.250 --> 00:42:12.610
Excellent.
692
00:42:12.969 --> 00:42:15.230
That's what we hope to do for people. Just leave
693
00:42:15.250 --> 00:42:20.130
them thinking and curious. All right. So we want to
694
00:42:20.170 --> 00:42:22.349
thank you for choosing to be here now with us.
695
00:42:22.670 --> 00:42:27.329
Please always remember. You are not alone. And don't ever forget.
696
00:42:28.070 --> 00:42:33.940
You are awesome. Go have a lovely, peaceful, restful day. Thanks, everybody.
697
00:42:34.469 --> 00:42:36.170
Take care of yourselves, and thanks for being here. We
698
00:42:36.190 --> 00:42:36.690
appreciate it.
699
00:42:36.789 --> 00:42:42.179
You're listening to WGSN-DB, Going Solo Network, singles talk radio channel,
700
00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:45.659
where we take a lighthearted and candid approach to discussions
701
00:42:45.719 --> 00:42:49.980
on the journey of relationship loss, divorce, parenting, being single,
702
00:42:50.260 --> 00:42:55.070
relationships building, dating, and yes, sex. Join our listeners and
703
00:42:55.110 --> 00:42:57.090
begin living your best life.