Stop Using Someone Else's Map to Find Yourself with Judy & Janice

WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.110 --> 00:00:05.500
You're listening to WGSN-DB, Going Solo Network, singles talk radio channel,
2
00:00:05.780 --> 00:00:08.980
where we take a lighthearted and candid approach to discussions
3
00:00:09.019 --> 00:00:13.279
on the journey of relationship loss, divorce, parenting, being single,
4
00:00:13.580 --> 00:00:18.370
relationships building, dating, and yes, sex. Join our listeners and
5
00:00:18.410 --> 00:00:20.390
begin living your best life.
6
00:00:26.550 --> 00:00:28.780
Hello and welcome to Be Here Now, the Peaceful Empowerment
7
00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:32.640
Work Show, where presence invites perspective and allows peace. We
8
00:00:32.700 --> 00:00:37.719
are live on a new streaming network.com, WGSN-DB, Going Solo Network, radio, TV,
9
00:00:37.880 --> 00:00:43.130
and podcast. Today's topic, stop using someone else's map to
10
00:00:43.189 --> 00:00:46.289
find yourself. I am your co-host, Judy Porter, and I
11
00:00:46.350 --> 00:00:48.189
am here with my co-host in peace, Miss.
12
00:00:49.049 --> 00:00:49.990
Janice Leonard. Hi.
13
00:00:50.189 --> 00:00:52.299
Welcome back, Janice.
14
00:00:52.310 --> 00:00:56.460
Thank you. Thank you. I could use another full gear,
15
00:00:56.679 --> 00:01:02.840
but I am. I'm on the way up now, finally. Hey,
16
00:01:04.019 --> 00:01:06.159
glad to be here. Glad anyone's here. I hope we
17
00:01:06.180 --> 00:01:11.030
can inspire you, share stories with you. We can bring
18
00:01:11.069 --> 00:01:15.049
in different alternative healing methods and regular ones and tools,
19
00:01:15.170 --> 00:01:18.150
and hopefully we can all help each other get through
20
00:01:18.189 --> 00:01:21.230
this time that can be pretty rough. We are a
21
00:01:21.269 --> 00:01:26.250
part of a 501c3. nonprofit organizations. So if you donate
22
00:01:26.269 --> 00:01:29.319
to us, it is tax deductible. And if you want
23
00:01:29.340 --> 00:01:37.459
to go to our website, www.peacefulempowermentworks.org. On the top of
24
00:01:37.480 --> 00:01:41.000
the homepage, in the bottom are the donate buttons. But
25
00:01:41.120 --> 00:01:44.159
also you'll see on the ribbon, we have shows. And
26
00:01:44.219 --> 00:01:46.620
we actually have a library of all the shows that
27
00:01:46.640 --> 00:01:49.620
have been done. So if you want to Look for
28
00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:52.359
different topics. If there's something you're ready to listen to here,
29
00:01:52.400 --> 00:01:56.680
you can go back and listen again. And thanks for
30
00:01:56.700 --> 00:01:57.980
being here. Yeah.
31
00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:01.780
And a free way to support us is to like, comment, share,
32
00:02:01.890 --> 00:02:02.890
and subscribe.
33
00:02:03.730 --> 00:02:04.170
Thank you.
34
00:02:04.670 --> 00:02:06.790
You're very great. Yes.
35
00:02:07.650 --> 00:02:09.710
I knew that that ending was wrong, but I couldn't.
36
00:02:10.370 --> 00:02:14.669
You're ready to be patient with me today, right?
37
00:02:15.289 --> 00:02:18.210
Absolutely. You know, it's been an interesting couple of weeks.
38
00:02:18.840 --> 00:02:21.379
I was sharing with Janice before we got into this, that,
39
00:02:21.400 --> 00:02:23.960
you know, this has been trigger city around here. One
40
00:02:24.020 --> 00:02:27.340
trigger after another old patterns coming up and I have
41
00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:30.370
to keep reminding myself that, yeah, they're coming up to
42
00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:32.430
be released and finally let go and what all that
43
00:02:32.449 --> 00:02:37.150
kind of stuff. But when you're in it, damn, it's hard. Damn,
44
00:02:37.189 --> 00:02:37.650
it's hard.
45
00:02:39.629 --> 00:02:42.370
And you fall back to the old patterns, you know?
46
00:02:43.310 --> 00:02:47.780
Absolutely. Those old patterns creep up on you, you know, and.
47
00:02:48.520 --> 00:02:50.759
For me, it's not until I am able to move
48
00:02:50.879 --> 00:02:54.919
through it most of the time that I can then
49
00:02:55.740 --> 00:02:59.870
start to figure it out and see what's going on.
50
00:03:01.569 --> 00:03:04.090
But yeah, man, when you're in it, it's freaking hard.
51
00:03:05.069 --> 00:03:08.409
It's freaking hard. The one thing I can celebrate is
52
00:03:08.590 --> 00:03:10.680
I don't stay in it as long as I used to,
53
00:03:10.819 --> 00:03:12.879
and that's progress. It's true.
54
00:03:13.159 --> 00:03:13.879
That's very true.
55
00:03:14.599 --> 00:03:17.719
That's true. Yes, sometimes that's the only light I can
56
00:03:17.759 --> 00:03:24.909
hold on to until I can figure everything else out. Yay. Okay,
57
00:03:24.969 --> 00:03:27.189
so before we get into the meat of it today,
58
00:03:27.210 --> 00:03:31.169
I do have the correct September show topics. Last week
59
00:03:31.270 --> 00:03:32.569
I had August, Janice.
60
00:03:33.150 --> 00:03:33.449
I know.
61
00:03:34.569 --> 00:03:36.030
I watched up to this part anyway.
62
00:03:36.830 --> 00:03:40.620
Okay, until I screwed up. Okay, so we are now
63
00:03:40.900 --> 00:03:44.680
moving to September 17th. We will have Pam Culley McCullough.
64
00:03:45.099 --> 00:03:48.199
with us. She is the author of the book, The
65
00:03:48.280 --> 00:03:51.240
Promise of Soul Love. We are excited to hear what
66
00:03:51.300 --> 00:03:54.259
she has to say. It's about a girl and her
67
00:03:54.280 --> 00:03:58.960
dad and how their relationship moved through alcoholism and a
68
00:03:59.199 --> 00:04:02.659
connection with him from spirit gave her a lot of
69
00:04:02.699 --> 00:04:05.580
clarity and peace. So I'm excited to have Pam with us.
70
00:04:06.180 --> 00:04:09.400
And then September 24th, you'll have Janice and I talking
71
00:04:09.460 --> 00:04:12.659
about faith or fear. The choice is yours.
72
00:04:14.620 --> 00:04:20.379
Good thing that's not the topic this week. We need something. Yay.
73
00:04:20.839 --> 00:04:25.480
Exactly. And just a quick reminder about Elohim Magdalena Roses,
74
00:04:25.560 --> 00:04:29.730
six-part series. We have completed three thus far. If you
75
00:04:29.769 --> 00:04:31.790
have not seen them, please go back and check them out.
76
00:04:32.269 --> 00:04:35.370
She'll be back with us on October 1st with The
77
00:04:35.410 --> 00:04:42.360
Breath is the Portal. So, yeah, that's what we got. Janice,
78
00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:43.800
would you like to ring us in?
79
00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:45.860
I do, do, do.
80
00:04:46.279 --> 00:04:46.560
All right.
81
00:04:46.980 --> 00:04:47.199
Hold on.
82
00:05:16.819 --> 00:05:17.220
All right.
83
00:05:18.189 --> 00:05:23.149
So our topic, stop using everyone else's map to find yourself.
84
00:05:24.529 --> 00:05:26.850
It's funny. I had all kinds of things going through
85
00:05:26.870 --> 00:05:29.829
my head and what we could talk about. And there's
86
00:05:29.870 --> 00:05:33.970
so much that we could talk about. And we talk
87
00:05:34.009 --> 00:05:37.970
a lot about moving from the old systems into the new.
88
00:05:38.730 --> 00:05:43.389
And self-help is a big field of old system health.
89
00:05:44.129 --> 00:05:45.769
I think last week it was the old shit's not
90
00:05:45.810 --> 00:05:48.589
working or the week before that. The old shit's not
91
00:05:48.610 --> 00:05:52.930
working anymore. Well, this is part of the old that
92
00:05:53.350 --> 00:05:57.279
just doesn't work. I did a lot of self-help reading
93
00:05:57.339 --> 00:06:00.579
books and weight loss programs and all this kind of
94
00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:04.040
stuff where it was very strict and cookie cutter and
95
00:06:04.060 --> 00:06:05.759
you do this and you do that and you do that.
96
00:06:06.199 --> 00:06:09.019
And if you don't do it, it's because of you.
97
00:06:10.680 --> 00:06:12.779
You have to be perfect or you fail. Exactly.
98
00:06:12.819 --> 00:06:18.610
Exactly. Exactly. And all that led me to was more shaming,
99
00:06:20.189 --> 00:06:26.079
more self-hatred, more self-doubt. It chipped away at my confidence.
100
00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:28.860
It chipped away at any courage to try anything else
101
00:06:28.920 --> 00:06:30.639
until I got to the point where I just didn't
102
00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:31.579
do anything.
103
00:06:33.709 --> 00:06:37.089
This whole society is getting the same message. So not
104
00:06:37.170 --> 00:06:39.139
only are you doing it to yourself, But then you
105
00:06:39.160 --> 00:06:41.810
hear your parents saying it too. And you hear, oh,
106
00:06:41.850 --> 00:06:44.269
you can't do that. Why don't you do that? Did
107
00:06:44.290 --> 00:06:47.129
you try that? You know, everyone knows what you should try.
108
00:06:47.149 --> 00:06:50.569
This will work. You can be perfect in that if
109
00:06:50.610 --> 00:06:51.670
you want to. I'm not.
110
00:06:55.029 --> 00:06:59.250
So there you go. You build defenses in order to counterbalance.
111
00:06:59.970 --> 00:07:03.050
And that was part of me being loud and boisterous.
112
00:07:03.110 --> 00:07:06.480
Everybody thought, you know, there isn't a thought Judy doesn't express. Well,
113
00:07:06.519 --> 00:07:09.120
that was not true. just because I said a lot
114
00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:13.139
of things didn't mean I was sharing my truth. It
115
00:07:13.180 --> 00:07:14.300
was all a facade.
116
00:07:14.879 --> 00:07:15.199
Yeah.
117
00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:18.100
And if I could be loud and boisterous, it kept
118
00:07:18.139 --> 00:07:23.500
people at an arm's length and doing that. Yeah. I
119
00:07:23.540 --> 00:07:26.519
kept people out that would, that could potentially hurt me,
120
00:07:26.839 --> 00:07:29.100
but I also kept good people at a distance too.
121
00:07:30.220 --> 00:07:34.899
So it's been an interesting journey to say the least. Um,
122
00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:40.399
And when I realized that all of those, all the programs,
123
00:07:41.660 --> 00:07:43.579
the cookie cutters, what I like to call them, the
124
00:07:43.620 --> 00:07:48.500
cookie cutter programs, you know, they just, they didn't work
125
00:07:48.550 --> 00:07:52.910
for me. I was able to finally embrace a conversation
126
00:07:52.930 --> 00:07:54.610
with myself as they just don't work for me. I
127
00:07:54.649 --> 00:07:58.870
didn't know why, uh, I did my best, especially, you know,
128
00:07:59.269 --> 00:08:04.970
launching into this spiritual work. Um, And, you know, it's
129
00:08:05.129 --> 00:08:08.449
really about rediscovering yourself. I did my best not to
130
00:08:08.490 --> 00:08:10.790
beat myself up anymore. We've talked a lot about bullies
131
00:08:10.870 --> 00:08:14.730
on the show and our own bullies. And, you know,
132
00:08:14.990 --> 00:08:18.589
this self-help field was a field that I didn't realize
133
00:08:18.810 --> 00:08:23.120
how much fuel it fed to my bully and my
134
00:08:23.180 --> 00:08:31.439
critic and my judge. So this has been a huge
135
00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:37.769
discovery for me. about, you know, you can't use someone
136
00:08:37.809 --> 00:08:42.710
else's map to find yourself. So I don't usually put
137
00:08:42.730 --> 00:08:46.809
a shit ton of words on a slide, but I
138
00:08:46.850 --> 00:08:50.000
was guided to do it. And I think it's just
139
00:08:50.059 --> 00:08:52.860
more so I wouldn't forget anything that was coming through.
140
00:08:53.620 --> 00:08:56.039
So I'm just going to go ahead and read it off.
141
00:08:56.779 --> 00:09:01.090
The global self-help and personal development industry is worth roughly
142
00:09:01.090 --> 00:09:08.049
$ 53 billion to 57 billion dollars. You know what that
143
00:09:08.090 --> 00:09:12.909
tells me? It's bullshit. Profit over people. Just like every
144
00:09:12.980 --> 00:09:15.639
other industry in the world. They give you their map
145
00:09:15.899 --> 00:09:18.919
and tell you to follow it strictly as directed and
146
00:09:18.980 --> 00:09:21.559
if it doesn't work it's because you did not work
147
00:09:21.600 --> 00:09:24.779
hard enough. You were not disciplined enough. You are not
148
00:09:24.879 --> 00:09:28.529
dedicated enough. You end up feeling even worse about yourself
149
00:09:28.870 --> 00:09:31.769
than before you started. A few weeks ago we said
150
00:09:32.129 --> 00:09:34.919
the old ways aren't working anymore. And this is just
151
00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:39.120
another example of what we're talking about. You are the
152
00:09:39.259 --> 00:09:42.070
only one who knows what's right and perfect for you.
153
00:09:42.750 --> 00:09:45.590
Your map already lives within you. I like to call
154
00:09:45.629 --> 00:09:48.570
it your divine blueprint. When you are willing to get
155
00:09:48.669 --> 00:09:51.610
curious about why you do the things you do, hold
156
00:09:51.649 --> 00:09:54.370
the beliefs that you hold, as well as investigate the
157
00:09:54.509 --> 00:09:59.169
impact expectations have on your life, you begin to unfold
158
00:09:59.490 --> 00:10:03.100
your very own map that will guide you on the
159
00:10:03.129 --> 00:10:08.019
path to wholeness. Over the past few months, we have
160
00:10:08.059 --> 00:10:10.820
had two guests on the show sharing about their latest books.
161
00:10:11.460 --> 00:10:15.100
Chris Burke was here with Living Wholeness, When Life is
162
00:10:15.159 --> 00:10:19.070
Allowed to Feel Like Home, and Cheryl Ragland-Pace was here
163
00:10:19.190 --> 00:10:22.110
with Be the Change, Be the Light, a memoir and
164
00:10:22.169 --> 00:10:26.789
soul activation journal for spiritual awakening, self-healing, and soul remembrance.
165
00:10:27.370 --> 00:10:32.370
I highly recommend these books. They stimulate curiosity and use
166
00:10:32.429 --> 00:10:36.149
guiding questions to help you uncover and navigate your very
167
00:10:36.370 --> 00:10:41.080
own map, empowering you to be your own superhero. Today,
168
00:10:41.129 --> 00:10:45.399
Janice and I are going to talk about comparison, expectations,
169
00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:49.769
and old outdated beliefs. If you're curious, we would love
170
00:10:49.809 --> 00:10:52.110
for you to join us. Come along.
171
00:10:52.129 --> 00:10:58.450
Oh my goodness.
172
00:10:58.470 --> 00:11:03.529
So if you're interested in finding those books, they're both
173
00:11:03.700 --> 00:11:07.799
available on Amazon. So you can either type in the
174
00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:09.779
author or type in the title of the book and
175
00:11:09.820 --> 00:11:12.899
you can get the books there. What I loved about
176
00:11:12.980 --> 00:11:17.620
both of them, Living with Wholeness was about being present
177
00:11:18.440 --> 00:11:27.039
how to look at your life and get curious about
178
00:11:27.399 --> 00:11:31.309
what's working, what's not working. And is there anything you'd
179
00:11:31.350 --> 00:11:34.409
like to do to shift anything? It's not do this,
180
00:11:34.450 --> 00:11:36.590
do this, do this, do this to this. And then
181
00:11:36.649 --> 00:11:40.090
you will have wholeness in your life. It's go within,
182
00:11:40.389 --> 00:11:43.850
ask yourself the questions, be the change, be the light.
183
00:11:44.330 --> 00:11:46.919
Not only does it do the same thing. It shares
184
00:11:47.179 --> 00:11:50.950
a personal experience and then it gives you an outline.
185
00:11:52.049 --> 00:11:55.610
I like to call it, it's a breathable outline where
186
00:11:55.629 --> 00:11:59.129
it just guides you through a process where you are
187
00:11:59.230 --> 00:12:01.409
asking the questions. Cause a lot of times I wouldn't
188
00:12:01.429 --> 00:12:04.440
know the questions to ask myself. Yes. I'd like to
189
00:12:04.500 --> 00:12:06.590
know those things. Well, how do I get to it?
190
00:12:07.580 --> 00:12:12.919
Cheryl does a wonderful job of just questioning and guiding.
191
00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:16.899
And that's the new, what I feel is the big
192
00:12:17.000 --> 00:12:21.480
shift that is happening in self-help. It's not about cookie cutter.
193
00:12:21.659 --> 00:12:25.289
It's about, hey, what works for you? And this is
194
00:12:25.370 --> 00:12:30.230
how you can get to finding out what works for you. Yeah.
195
00:12:30.250 --> 00:12:32.830
And like, this is so different from how we grew up,
196
00:12:33.370 --> 00:12:36.360
you know, that it is hard for people to understand.
197
00:12:36.379 --> 00:12:38.980
They're still looking for the formula.
198
00:12:39.419 --> 00:12:43.019
Yeah. Just give me the answer. I'll make it work.
199
00:12:43.639 --> 00:12:46.870
Yeah. You know, because you want to, yeah, and you're
200
00:12:46.889 --> 00:12:51.860
so goal-directed, so results, well, some of us, I think.
201
00:12:52.580 --> 00:12:55.799
And that's how we grew up. And with the shift
202
00:12:55.820 --> 00:12:59.899
you're thinking from there's not a real answer, well, what?
203
00:13:00.559 --> 00:13:03.179
It's just, it's different. I have a hard time explaining
204
00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:08.419
to family members what I do on this podcast because
205
00:13:09.110 --> 00:13:11.509
it's too foreign. You know, it's too foreign for them.
206
00:13:12.169 --> 00:13:16.190
Yes. And it is very different because, you know, school
207
00:13:16.250 --> 00:13:20.669
teaches us just get the answer. The answer is the goal.
208
00:13:21.570 --> 00:13:25.450
Whereas this work is about the journey. Yeah. It's about
209
00:13:25.549 --> 00:13:27.509
how did you get to, how can we get to
210
00:13:27.580 --> 00:13:32.120
that answer? And it's not about looking for it externally.
211
00:13:33.299 --> 00:13:35.639
It's about looking for it within yourself. You know, we
212
00:13:35.659 --> 00:13:38.620
were taught that everybody else knows us better than we do.
213
00:13:39.860 --> 00:13:44.899
And it's bullshit. It's bullshit. And that's what this new,
214
00:13:45.330 --> 00:13:50.090
what I'm seeing in the self-help shift is it's embracing
215
00:13:50.129 --> 00:13:54.809
the fact that we are all individuals. We all have
216
00:13:54.889 --> 00:13:58.669
very different experiences and different things are going to work
217
00:13:58.909 --> 00:14:02.009
and resonate with different people. So if we can just
218
00:14:02.100 --> 00:14:10.129
provide guiding questions, support, holding space, witnessing, then that we
219
00:14:10.149 --> 00:14:13.970
can help provide that safe environment for them to ask
220
00:14:13.990 --> 00:14:16.429
the questions. And that's what we like to do on
221
00:14:16.450 --> 00:14:18.389
the show. That's why we have guests on and we
222
00:14:18.490 --> 00:14:20.809
try to expose people to a lot of different things
223
00:14:20.870 --> 00:14:25.679
because there isn't one thing that works for everyone. And
224
00:14:25.720 --> 00:14:27.519
you take what resonates with you and you throw the
225
00:14:27.559 --> 00:14:30.220
rest away. That was one of the greatest gifts handed
226
00:14:30.279 --> 00:14:34.139
to me when I started this work is you don't
227
00:14:34.279 --> 00:14:37.220
have to buy into 100% of everything. You take what
228
00:14:39.769 --> 00:14:43.330
resonates with you in this, throw the rest away, move
229
00:14:43.409 --> 00:14:46.250
on to the next. And in order to do that,
230
00:14:46.330 --> 00:14:49.029
you have to be able to determine what, okay, well,
231
00:14:49.049 --> 00:14:54.190
that feels right. I shifted from asking my daughter, you know,
232
00:14:54.389 --> 00:14:58.080
what does that look like for you? Or how do
233
00:14:58.120 --> 00:15:00.080
you want it to be to how does that feel
234
00:15:00.139 --> 00:15:04.899
to you? Because your body doesn't lie. Your body's going
235
00:15:04.940 --> 00:15:07.340
to let you know what feels aligned and what doesn't.
236
00:15:13.669 --> 00:15:13.990
Yeah.
237
00:15:14.370 --> 00:15:15.769
So one of the first things we want to talk
238
00:15:15.789 --> 00:15:18.909
about is comparison. And the first thing that popped in
239
00:15:18.950 --> 00:15:22.429
my head is that quote, you know, comparison is the
240
00:15:22.909 --> 00:15:25.419
thief of joy. So I went and checked that out
241
00:15:25.440 --> 00:15:28.500
a little bit. There was a lot more to that
242
00:15:29.179 --> 00:15:34.960
statement from Theodore Roosevelt. It didn't just end with comparison
243
00:15:35.080 --> 00:15:40.200
is the thief of joy, which I found interesting. He
244
00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:43.259
went on to say comparison was something that is better
245
00:15:44.460 --> 00:15:48.299
is the thief of joy. Comparison with something that is
246
00:15:48.379 --> 00:15:55.700
worth is a joy. Full of relief and gratitude. You
247
00:15:55.740 --> 00:16:00.139
cannot always choose what happens to you or your circumstances,
248
00:16:00.179 --> 00:16:03.309
but you can always choose your attitude by what you
249
00:16:03.370 --> 00:16:08.149
choose to compare your experiences or circumstances to and therefore
250
00:16:08.690 --> 00:16:12.110
how you will feel. We can make an experience either
251
00:16:12.169 --> 00:16:15.009
a heaven or a hell by what we compare it
252
00:16:15.070 --> 00:16:20.509
to our emotions are an inside job. And I was thinking,
253
00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:27.159
all right, okay, I can sit with that. And just
254
00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:30.240
like I said in the opening, when I compare my
255
00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:33.360
process is much shorter, I don't spend as much time
256
00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:38.649
in my chosen hell as I used to. So if
257
00:16:38.769 --> 00:16:44.610
I want to, um, Yeah, it was very interesting. It
258
00:16:44.990 --> 00:16:46.360
generated a lot of thought for me.
259
00:16:55.659 --> 00:16:58.919
All this just makes me think about is my birthday.
260
00:16:59.139 --> 00:17:05.930
My birthday was last week. I kind of realized it
261
00:17:05.970 --> 00:17:07.690
but thought I got over it, but it was still there.
262
00:17:08.250 --> 00:17:11.970
I had in mind that your birthday... You need to
263
00:17:12.009 --> 00:17:15.119
feel like you're special. Don't know where that came from,
264
00:17:15.299 --> 00:17:16.799
but that's my expectation.
265
00:17:20.180 --> 00:17:20.480
Yeah.
266
00:17:20.700 --> 00:17:24.980
And it's just not right because you're going to be disappointed.
267
00:17:25.980 --> 00:17:31.710
That's not the point of this though. But yeah. I just,
268
00:17:32.349 --> 00:17:33.490
you know. That's just it.
269
00:17:33.509 --> 00:17:36.529
Like where did, where did that imprint that on your
270
00:17:36.569 --> 00:17:38.809
birthday is the only day you're allowed to feel special?
271
00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:43.700
And other people are the ones that make you feel special.
272
00:17:44.019 --> 00:17:50.440
Not you. Ooh. Uh-huh. Yeah. When we give the keys
273
00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:53.420
to that car to somebody else, then we always set
274
00:17:53.480 --> 00:17:56.960
ourself up for resentment.
275
00:17:58.220 --> 00:17:59.180
Hurt.
276
00:17:59.660 --> 00:18:00.269
Abandonment.
277
00:18:02.650 --> 00:18:06.829
Yeah. Yeah, because that's exactly. I feel hurt by the
278
00:18:08.150 --> 00:18:16.029
lack of action for my family members. And instead of feeling, well,
279
00:18:17.170 --> 00:18:20.180
I did take myself out to breakfast, but then I
280
00:18:20.200 --> 00:18:21.980
got sick cause I ate too much, but you know,
281
00:18:25.160 --> 00:18:28.099
that's true. That's true. I didn't try to do it
282
00:18:28.140 --> 00:18:29.680
for me. Wow.
283
00:18:30.519 --> 00:18:34.180
Yeah. Isn't it interesting? It's like, if I want other
284
00:18:34.220 --> 00:18:36.299
people to treat me like I'm special, I have to
285
00:18:36.339 --> 00:18:42.569
treat myself like that too. And I, it's really not
286
00:18:42.690 --> 00:18:49.400
something that has a been encouraged and be something that I,
287
00:18:49.559 --> 00:18:54.019
I know I haven't actively thought about it until this moment. Really?
288
00:18:54.400 --> 00:18:58.140
It's like, wow. Okay. And you even mentioned in the
289
00:18:58.200 --> 00:19:01.869
pregame that, you know, you were approaching your birthday. Like
290
00:19:01.930 --> 00:19:04.369
it's not a big deal. Nobody needs to read it.
291
00:19:04.950 --> 00:19:07.710
And energetically that's the message that's being sent.
292
00:19:10.140 --> 00:19:12.500
Oh, great. We got a message from Jennifer Clark. In
293
00:19:12.539 --> 00:19:20.500
order to compare, we first need to judge. That is
294
00:19:20.539 --> 00:19:23.319
better or that is worse, which in itself puts us
295
00:19:23.400 --> 00:19:26.619
in a slippery slope. That is better. That is worse.
296
00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:27.960
That's right. That's right.
297
00:19:29.089 --> 00:19:31.630
Yeah. Oh, she says more.
298
00:19:32.369 --> 00:19:34.630
Oh my gosh. You read that because I can't see.
299
00:19:34.650 --> 00:19:39.140
It's not about the answer. It's about the journey. Living wholeness,
300
00:19:39.279 --> 00:19:42.960
not achieving wholeness. Wholeness is what we do. We might
301
00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:47.789
be more whole or more light some days than others. Absolutely.
302
00:19:48.190 --> 00:19:50.180
Oh, Jennifer, you gave you got to be one of
303
00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:55.119
our guest guest people sometime i agree oh good we've
304
00:19:55.140 --> 00:19:58.539
got lionel clark also saying it's a comment to us
305
00:19:58.599 --> 00:20:01.119
he's saying exactly has to line up.
306
00:20:01.859 --> 00:20:04.700
You got it thank.
307
00:20:03.539 --> 00:20:06.339
You lionel lionel.
308
00:20:07.640 --> 00:20:11.990
Thank you uh Yeah, so I love the fact that
309
00:20:12.049 --> 00:20:15.049
Jim brought up comparing requires judgment.
310
00:20:16.069 --> 00:20:16.450
It's true.
311
00:20:17.890 --> 00:20:18.869
That's an excellent point.
312
00:20:19.609 --> 00:20:21.069
Because you're either better or you're worse.
313
00:20:22.630 --> 00:20:31.019
So, yes, there's the judge. And that's, you know, the
314
00:20:31.059 --> 00:20:33.380
other quote was, if comparison is a thief of joy,
315
00:20:33.420 --> 00:20:37.279
then our culture is being robbed blind. And I thought, huh,
316
00:20:38.099 --> 00:20:46.869
that's interesting, too. Because we have been so distracted by
317
00:20:46.970 --> 00:20:50.220
so many other things that joy is one of the
318
00:20:50.279 --> 00:20:53.059
first things that goes. It's very interesting. One of the
319
00:20:53.099 --> 00:20:56.680
first questions that is usually asked with new clients is,
320
00:20:57.440 --> 00:21:01.460
what do you do for fun? Where's your joy? And
321
00:21:01.500 --> 00:21:04.690
people are like, I don't even know anymore. You get
322
00:21:04.769 --> 00:21:07.049
so wrapped up in the day-to-day of just getting through
323
00:21:07.069 --> 00:21:09.470
the day, just getting through the week. Just let me
324
00:21:09.529 --> 00:21:14.819
make it to the end of the month that joy
325
00:21:14.900 --> 00:21:23.480
isn't even on people's radar anymore no yeah and when
326
00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:25.900
you're constantly comparing yourself.
327
00:21:28.150 --> 00:21:30.450
You know that it's interesting is there's been a few
328
00:21:30.490 --> 00:21:34.019
years of times my life when I I really look
329
00:21:34.059 --> 00:21:36.460
back and I really don't like who I was because
330
00:21:36.700 --> 00:21:38.619
I would get into the gossip a little bit or
331
00:21:39.259 --> 00:21:42.200
criticize people and, you know, get into it, go into it.
332
00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:44.720
I don't think, well, I probably started it too sometimes,
333
00:21:45.289 --> 00:21:49.049
but you know, that's always been about my just feeling
334
00:21:49.130 --> 00:21:52.990
so bad about myself. I needed to judge, to judge somebody.
335
00:21:53.109 --> 00:21:56.569
So I would feel better about myself, you know? So that,
336
00:21:56.670 --> 00:22:02.519
that was that the whole comparing and judging and, It
337
00:22:02.559 --> 00:22:06.369
really brings you down a nasty road of just not goodness.
338
00:22:06.380 --> 00:22:11.250
It's like Jen said, it's a slippery slope. Because if
339
00:22:12.470 --> 00:22:16.410
your self-esteem is based on somebody else being worse than you,
340
00:22:17.849 --> 00:22:20.130
then you're still taking that control and putting it in
341
00:22:20.200 --> 00:22:23.839
someone else's pocket. You're still throwing them the keys to
342
00:22:23.859 --> 00:22:24.339
your car.
343
00:22:25.339 --> 00:22:30.960
And your thinking ends up being about them being bad
344
00:22:31.039 --> 00:22:34.519
or down or less than instead of enjoying who you
345
00:22:34.660 --> 00:22:37.500
are you know it puts the focus out there.
346
00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:41.559
Yep not in here right off.
347
00:22:42.500 --> 00:22:46.259
All right that was awesome yeah first of all i
348
00:22:46.279 --> 00:22:49.480
want to apologize to anyone in my past who i've
349
00:22:49.519 --> 00:22:52.519
been not right too same.
350
00:22:52.779 --> 00:22:55.059
We are very different people today than we were back
351
00:22:55.099 --> 00:22:56.759
then living in our wombs.
352
00:22:56.960 --> 00:22:59.670
Yes living this exactly Uh-huh.
353
00:22:59.970 --> 00:23:03.230
Bob has a song, hurt people, hurt people, heal people,
354
00:23:03.269 --> 00:23:07.049
heal people. So absolutely. And the fact that you can
355
00:23:07.109 --> 00:23:10.170
recognize that you're not that same person anymore. We're not
356
00:23:10.250 --> 00:23:13.319
meant to be the same people. We're meant to grow
357
00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:16.940
and learn from our experiences and make different choices. And
358
00:23:17.740 --> 00:23:21.700
here we are. Wow. Okay. So we're going to break
359
00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:25.039
for a commercial right now. Yes. And we will be
360
00:23:25.079 --> 00:23:28.809
back to talk about expectations. See you in a minute.
361
00:23:29.420 --> 00:23:34.769
Welcome to NewStreamingNetwork.com. The future of streaming is here. Looking
362
00:23:34.809 --> 00:23:39.349
for bold, diverse, and engaging content? New Streaming Network brings
363
00:23:39.390 --> 00:23:42.869
you the best in TV, podcast, and radio, all in
364
00:23:43.009 --> 00:23:47.450
one place. From entertainment and lifestyle to business and inspiration,
365
00:23:47.710 --> 00:23:52.759
we're streaming what matters most to you anytime, anywhere, on Roku,
366
00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:59.730
multiple TV stations, and numerous podcast platforms. and WGSN-DB Going
367
00:23:59.789 --> 00:24:01.569
Solo Network Radio.
368
00:24:01.930 --> 00:24:03.730
Watch, listen, and connect.
369
00:24:03.890 --> 00:24:10.819
Join millions already tuning in. Visit newstreamingnetwork.com. Start streaming today.
370
00:24:14.119 --> 00:24:17.059
Welcome back to Be Here Now, the peaceful empowerment work
371
00:24:17.079 --> 00:24:20.000
show where presence invites perspective and allows peace. We are
372
00:24:20.039 --> 00:24:24.279
talking and stop using someone else's map to find yourself.
373
00:24:25.900 --> 00:24:29.200
We have tackled the topic of comparison and how it
374
00:24:29.240 --> 00:24:32.240
invites in your judge and it keeps you focused on
375
00:24:32.259 --> 00:24:35.390
the external and not going within. And now we're going
376
00:24:35.410 --> 00:24:43.190
to talk about expectations. I saw this nice quote from
377
00:24:43.250 --> 00:24:47.410
Brene Brown. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.
378
00:24:48.859 --> 00:24:49.359
Oh, boy.
379
00:24:52.859 --> 00:25:00.539
I had no idea how these would land today. And wow.
380
00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:04.400
The hardest thing to get over is your own expectations.
381
00:25:04.900 --> 00:25:07.849
Not everyone will act or think like you do. And
382
00:25:07.900 --> 00:25:09.369
you have to make peace with that.
383
00:25:13.710 --> 00:25:16.269
What I want to know is what does Judy Forber say?
384
00:25:17.009 --> 00:25:21.119
Judy Porter says, thank you for asking, Janice. Expectations are
385
00:25:21.160 --> 00:25:22.759
the cock block of the universe.
386
00:25:24.819 --> 00:25:30.440
That's right. I think that's a big, big part of
387
00:25:30.589 --> 00:25:35.789
why I'm having such a hard time with being retired. Yeah. It's, it's,
388
00:25:36.829 --> 00:25:40.009
I just, you, well, you expect certain things in retirement.
389
00:25:40.049 --> 00:25:44.769
You expect freedom. You expect happiness. Happiness and you expect,
390
00:25:44.809 --> 00:25:47.109
you know, you just think you're going to have those things.
391
00:25:48.789 --> 00:25:54.069
And I can't say I'm having them necessarily. I'm feeling
392
00:25:54.190 --> 00:25:58.420
better about myself. Well, I'm recovering from a lifetime of stress.
393
00:25:58.900 --> 00:26:00.859
So I think I'm doing really well with that.
394
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:03.680
I love that.
395
00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:07.119
But it's not like what I expected. You know, it's
396
00:26:07.140 --> 00:26:10.619
not what you expect. What's retirement? Retirement. You're going to travel.
397
00:26:10.890 --> 00:26:13.160
You're going to spend time with your grandkids. I don't
398
00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:19.259
want to know. You know, you'd have money. You don't
399
00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:20.740
think about what if you don't have money, do everything
400
00:26:20.759 --> 00:26:22.940
you want to do, or you don't feel like doing
401
00:26:22.980 --> 00:26:26.930
all those things or you just too tired. So, yeah.
402
00:26:27.089 --> 00:26:30.069
So I have a hard time. And you know what
403
00:26:30.109 --> 00:26:34.079
it is? Well, maybe a big part of it is expectations.
404
00:26:34.630 --> 00:26:35.559
Yeah.
405
00:26:35.579 --> 00:26:40.000
I have had, have expectations. of my life that you
406
00:26:40.039 --> 00:26:47.890
work towards retirement. And then when you're there, you know, yeah, party. Well, no,
407
00:26:49.410 --> 00:26:51.609
but you know, you see some people, there we go. Comparing,
408
00:26:51.849 --> 00:26:53.730
but I'm going to finish this sentence, but you see
409
00:26:55.200 --> 00:26:57.539
retiring and they're doing things and they look like they're
410
00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:00.819
get the wind by the tail. Is that the expression
411
00:27:01.480 --> 00:27:04.380
tiger by the tail? I, I don't know, but, uh,
412
00:27:05.380 --> 00:27:06.690
and you know, I'm not looking like that.
413
00:27:08.869 --> 00:27:09.900
So that makes you bad.
414
00:27:12.509 --> 00:27:13.529
It's something's wrong.
415
00:27:13.569 --> 00:27:13.789
Yeah.
416
00:27:14.349 --> 00:27:14.950
Something's wrong.
417
00:27:14.990 --> 00:27:15.269
Yeah.
418
00:27:15.849 --> 00:27:17.829
Yeah. I have to tell you, Jess, my dad says
419
00:27:17.890 --> 00:27:20.369
there should be a support group for people that go
420
00:27:20.450 --> 00:27:23.430
that retire because he went through the very same thing.
421
00:27:23.490 --> 00:27:27.069
My brother went through the same thing. It's, it's, you know, you,
422
00:27:27.309 --> 00:27:30.190
you spend your life waking up and going to a
423
00:27:30.230 --> 00:27:33.049
job or doing a job and having a purpose. So
424
00:27:33.150 --> 00:27:36.769
that becomes your purpose. And when that's gone, my dad
425
00:27:36.809 --> 00:27:40.549
was like, I was lost. I didn't know what to do.
426
00:27:42.250 --> 00:27:44.210
I don't know how to be.
427
00:27:44.380 --> 00:27:53.960
I tell you, I've gotten into true crime and watching trials. Well,
428
00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:56.819
Lindsay Clancy trial was last week and I just wanted,
429
00:27:56.839 --> 00:28:00.059
you know, it was the day we were celebrating my
430
00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:04.559
brother's birthday and mine allegedly a few days after mine. And, uh,
431
00:28:06.329 --> 00:28:12.460
I can't commit to that. And I just, we went
432
00:28:12.500 --> 00:28:15.240
up to Mount Washington and called our way with my
433
00:28:15.700 --> 00:28:18.279
bunch of family. Biggest group of family I think I've
434
00:28:18.299 --> 00:28:21.460
ever done anything with. And on the way back down,
435
00:28:21.700 --> 00:28:23.019
I took out my cell phone and I had a
436
00:28:23.029 --> 00:28:24.950
good service. I wanted to find out if the verdict
437
00:28:24.990 --> 00:28:29.910
came in yet. And it said something about the verdict,
438
00:28:30.069 --> 00:28:35.210
you know, hung jury. Then it said something about An hour.
439
00:28:35.230 --> 00:28:37.130
I was like, what the heck's going on? So it
440
00:28:37.170 --> 00:28:39.650
didn't give me an answer. It was very confusing. So
441
00:28:39.910 --> 00:28:42.769
I kind of kept on looking. And then we got
442
00:28:42.809 --> 00:28:44.829
down and, you know, you're with people. They get in
443
00:28:44.849 --> 00:28:48.390
the truck to go to the campground where my brother's camping,
444
00:28:48.410 --> 00:28:51.119
going to his campground. And I had to find out what's,
445
00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:53.920
you know. And my husband said something to me about
446
00:28:53.940 --> 00:28:57.599
being rude. And I tell you, I lost it on him.
447
00:28:57.920 --> 00:29:00.839
I'm like, being rude? This is all I've got. This
448
00:29:00.900 --> 00:29:02.519
is all there is to my life. I want to
449
00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:05.890
find out what's going on. This whole dramatic thing. Oh,
450
00:29:06.789 --> 00:29:11.339
my gosh. Because, you know, I feel like that's all.
451
00:29:11.539 --> 00:29:13.670
You were able to speak the truth of how you feel.
452
00:29:13.690 --> 00:29:16.480
You spoke it out loud.
453
00:29:17.640 --> 00:29:22.700
Oh, yeah. Way passionately. We had to stop at a store.
454
00:29:23.339 --> 00:29:25.839
And my granddaughter and her boyfriend were in the back seat.
455
00:29:26.740 --> 00:29:28.789
And I went in the store. And I came back in.
456
00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:30.140
And my husband says, are you better yet?
457
00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:31.799
I said, yeah.
458
00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:39.809
Yeah. He says, you know what Chase said? Oh my God,
459
00:29:39.829 --> 00:29:43.450
this says whoa i guess you better stay away from
460
00:29:43.470 --> 00:29:45.799
the topic of trials with her stay away from judging
461
00:29:45.839 --> 00:29:49.980
her at the trials so you know an objective person
462
00:29:50.019 --> 00:29:54.289
looking at me at that moment Where I went off
463
00:29:54.369 --> 00:29:57.289
on my husband about him judging me because I wanted
464
00:29:57.309 --> 00:30:03.569
to look at the verdict of my trial. I just, oh,
465
00:30:03.670 --> 00:30:07.430
I laughed. Fortunately, I can laugh at myself usually. But
466
00:30:08.630 --> 00:30:13.680
he just gave me a different perspective of me. Oh, kids.
467
00:30:16.259 --> 00:30:18.680
I'm in a bubble. Chase, leave me in my bubble.
468
00:30:22.910 --> 00:30:25.349
I mean, but what an important realization to come out
469
00:30:25.369 --> 00:30:28.579
of that. You believe that there is nothing in your
470
00:30:28.619 --> 00:30:30.980
life worthy except for true crime.
471
00:30:31.400 --> 00:30:32.440
And the verdict.
472
00:30:32.779 --> 00:30:33.900
And the verdict, so.
473
00:30:34.220 --> 00:30:36.299
See, a lot of, you could usually, if it's something,
474
00:30:36.319 --> 00:30:38.960
you could always, you know, watch it later. Right. But,
475
00:30:39.019 --> 00:30:41.690
you know, when it's the biggest, big, big trial, like
476
00:30:41.769 --> 00:30:44.250
Lindsay Clancy, and you want to know the verdict, you
477
00:30:44.269 --> 00:30:51.369
kind of, you want to find out with everybody else. Right. Anyways.
478
00:30:51.970 --> 00:30:54.609
So I can't believe I lost it. And again, you know, it's,
479
00:30:55.789 --> 00:30:58.769
it's compared. I just, I think I'm feeling sorry for
480
00:30:58.809 --> 00:31:02.130
myself because well, you know, the whole retirement thing and
481
00:31:02.150 --> 00:31:05.200
I don't have big goals or do things that are
482
00:31:05.259 --> 00:31:08.359
just like, that's, that's what something, one thing I cared about.
483
00:31:08.880 --> 00:31:11.619
And it just, I think I knew that was sad
484
00:31:11.980 --> 00:31:15.920
that in this family time, that was the thing I
485
00:31:15.960 --> 00:31:19.109
was worried about. So I see it at the same time.
486
00:31:19.119 --> 00:31:20.569
And so then you want to judge yourself at the
487
00:31:20.589 --> 00:31:26.759
same time. Just, you know, Expectations, they just are awful.
488
00:31:27.319 --> 00:31:32.079
They do. They set you up for resentment. And I
489
00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:34.700
think the fact that you are able to admit that
490
00:31:34.740 --> 00:31:38.980
you had these expectations. We've got a whole buttload of
491
00:31:39.019 --> 00:31:40.720
people watching today, Janice. Yes.
492
00:31:41.769 --> 00:31:44.349
And this is Wendy. Wendy says, but remember, Janice, we
493
00:31:44.369 --> 00:31:47.609
also only see what people want to show us. So
494
00:31:47.630 --> 00:31:50.430
they may look all together, but may not be. This
495
00:31:50.490 --> 00:31:51.269
is so true.
496
00:31:51.869 --> 00:31:58.450
So true. so true yes the the social media age
497
00:31:58.490 --> 00:32:01.630
has allowed us such a larger platform for us to
498
00:32:01.710 --> 00:32:04.069
either get in get on and beat ourselves up for
499
00:32:04.150 --> 00:32:08.130
not being or you know the judge loves social media
500
00:32:08.670 --> 00:32:11.039
yeah the judge will love it.
501
00:32:11.619 --> 00:32:14.299
Yeah and really how many retired people do i watch
502
00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:19.630
you know i mean really oh my brother Well, they
503
00:32:19.650 --> 00:32:21.529
just up and moved. That's not been fun. My sister,
504
00:32:21.950 --> 00:32:23.890
her husband's getting sick. That's not fun. So I don't
505
00:32:23.930 --> 00:32:25.430
know where that comes from. It must come from social
506
00:32:25.450 --> 00:32:29.910
media or the things you see retired people do on TV.
507
00:32:30.509 --> 00:32:32.349
Well, and I also think it's the lie that's been
508
00:32:32.390 --> 00:32:34.710
sold to us. You're going to put the work in
509
00:32:34.750 --> 00:32:37.450
and you're going to do your part. And then when
510
00:32:37.490 --> 00:32:40.250
you retire, that's when you get to live your life
511
00:32:40.309 --> 00:32:43.769
and be free and have fun and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile,
512
00:32:44.210 --> 00:32:47.019
the whole time we're working, it's been ingrained in us
513
00:32:47.150 --> 00:32:50.660
that that is our purpose. You know, this is why
514
00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:53.329
we exist, to wake up, go to a job, make
515
00:32:53.349 --> 00:32:57.029
the money, pay the taxes. What did we learn growing up?
516
00:32:58.450 --> 00:33:03.869
You work, you pay taxes, and you die. I mean,
517
00:33:04.950 --> 00:33:06.109
that's what we were told.
518
00:33:08.309 --> 00:33:09.069
Oh, my gosh.
519
00:33:09.609 --> 00:33:12.549
And it's a bunch, just like everything else, bullshit, Janice.
520
00:33:12.609 --> 00:33:13.369
It's bullshit.
521
00:33:14.069 --> 00:33:16.869
Yeah. So true. Thank you, Wendy.
522
00:33:20.170 --> 00:33:23.369
I feel, and from a person looking from the outside
523
00:33:23.970 --> 00:33:27.589
in to you, one of your purposes is your ability
524
00:33:27.630 --> 00:33:30.289
to come here and share what you're truly going through.
525
00:33:32.410 --> 00:33:35.829
Because there's somebody else out there that has recently retired,
526
00:33:35.910 --> 00:33:38.910
or maybe not so recently, feeling exactly the way you're feeling.
527
00:33:39.269 --> 00:33:41.970
And now they know exactly what you say at the
528
00:33:42.019 --> 00:33:43.859
end of every show. They're not alone.
529
00:33:44.930 --> 00:33:45.799
Yeah, that's true.
530
00:33:46.599 --> 00:33:51.210
So I honor the fact that you show up And
531
00:33:51.250 --> 00:33:54.509
that's one of the big things, the chosen. The chosen
532
00:33:54.529 --> 00:33:56.470
are just the people that are willing to keep showing
533
00:33:56.569 --> 00:34:00.190
up no matter what state they're in. And you are
534
00:34:00.269 --> 00:34:00.690
one of them.
535
00:34:04.109 --> 00:34:06.769
Well, fortunately, I'm at the point in my life where
536
00:34:06.789 --> 00:34:11.159
I do speak my truth, too. I mean, true. Oh, boy,
537
00:34:11.179 --> 00:34:14.480
Jennifer's got another good comment. Social media is 99.5% comparisons.
538
00:34:18.050 --> 00:34:20.820
We're literally handing over our joy and letting the judge
539
00:34:20.969 --> 00:34:23.659
run the show. Oh, geez, Louise. She is.
540
00:34:24.380 --> 00:34:26.559
Yeah.
541
00:34:26.739 --> 00:34:29.340
We've got powerful talkers today giving us thoughts.
542
00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:31.300
Yeah, we do. Yeah.
543
00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:31.739
Thank you.
544
00:34:33.119 --> 00:34:38.199
Yes. So if we, and the whole expectations are the
545
00:34:38.219 --> 00:34:40.369
cock block of the universe. I'm here and just expand
546
00:34:40.409 --> 00:34:43.489
on that a little bit. Oh, here we go. She's back.
547
00:34:44.050 --> 00:34:46.469
We start pressuring kids from a very young age to
548
00:34:46.510 --> 00:34:50.190
associate their self with what they want to. Oh, so true.
549
00:34:50.550 --> 00:34:51.849
What do you want to be when you grow up
550
00:34:52.289 --> 00:34:56.429
as it relates to a job or career? It's deeply ingrained. Yes, ma'am.
551
00:34:56.530 --> 00:35:00.679
It sure as shit is. The pressure that Maddie felt
552
00:35:00.860 --> 00:35:03.460
in middle in high school from 10th grade on about
553
00:35:03.500 --> 00:35:04.840
what she's going to do with the rest of her
554
00:35:04.880 --> 00:35:08.139
life is it was insane. It's insane. The pressure we
555
00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:08.860
put on these kids.
556
00:35:09.400 --> 00:35:09.539
Yeah.
557
00:35:10.880 --> 00:35:13.440
And I think, too, my first point in my life
558
00:35:13.460 --> 00:35:15.579
where I felt like maybe I had a value was
559
00:35:15.619 --> 00:35:16.380
tied to a job.
560
00:35:16.400 --> 00:35:17.219
Mm-hmm.
561
00:35:17.719 --> 00:35:21.050
So I think I've been very, my value, self-worth, has
562
00:35:21.130 --> 00:35:25.130
always been tied to a job or maybe even getting
563
00:35:25.150 --> 00:35:26.989
things done, projects. I don't know.
564
00:35:27.130 --> 00:35:30.349
So it's... And being good at the job. Yeah.
565
00:35:30.530 --> 00:35:31.750
Well, yeah. Yeah.
566
00:35:32.630 --> 00:35:32.809
Yeah.
567
00:35:33.070 --> 00:35:33.449
Perfect.
568
00:35:33.789 --> 00:35:34.170
Perfect.
569
00:35:34.630 --> 00:35:37.909
Perfect. And we're taught, you know, the better the job,
570
00:35:37.969 --> 00:35:39.900
the pays more money. Not even the.
571
00:35:41.440 --> 00:35:43.800
Purpose of the job or what the job is doing.
572
00:35:43.820 --> 00:35:47.599
It just made me think of nonprofits. But, you know,
573
00:35:48.059 --> 00:35:50.820
if you're making a lot of money, then you hold
574
00:35:50.860 --> 00:35:54.559
a lot of power. It doesn't matter if you are
575
00:35:54.619 --> 00:35:58.239
serving from your heart. It doesn't matter. We got into
576
00:35:58.260 --> 00:36:03.119
a conversation in the pregame about corruption and how much
577
00:36:03.159 --> 00:36:06.199
corruption is coming to the surface and power and money
578
00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:10.780
corrupts the mind. And we've been submerged in this society
579
00:36:10.820 --> 00:36:14.489
where That's the focus. The more money you make, the
580
00:36:14.530 --> 00:36:17.610
better you are, the more power you hold. And if
581
00:36:17.679 --> 00:36:20.360
that's not it, then you're floundering.
582
00:36:21.619 --> 00:36:22.840
You know, too.
583
00:36:23.320 --> 00:36:23.619
Yes.
584
00:36:24.320 --> 00:36:29.920
But too, after you retire, it doesn't even matter what
585
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:33.440
jobs you held, how much money you made, or if
586
00:36:33.500 --> 00:36:36.750
you accomplished anything. All of a sudden, you're like a
587
00:36:36.789 --> 00:36:38.170
blank slate to anyone you meet.
588
00:36:38.590 --> 00:36:38.730
Yep.
589
00:36:39.650 --> 00:36:39.869
Yeah.
590
00:36:40.150 --> 00:36:42.730
I experienced that when I... teaching. I taught for 24 years.
591
00:36:43.190 --> 00:36:44.889
Walked out the door, nobody gave a shit that I
592
00:36:44.909 --> 00:36:50.590
was gone. You pour your heart and soul into something thinking,
593
00:36:50.639 --> 00:36:55.099
you know, you've created something beautiful and nobody cares. They
594
00:36:55.139 --> 00:36:57.199
bring somebody in the next day to replace you. It
595
00:36:57.219 --> 00:37:04.329
doesn't matter. You know, so, yeah. Expectations. Cockblock of the universe.
596
00:37:04.389 --> 00:37:08.469
That's because every expectation we hold is based on a
597
00:37:08.510 --> 00:37:14.170
past experience or past belief systems or past knowledge because
598
00:37:15.070 --> 00:37:19.130
going into the unknown is so terrifying that if we
599
00:37:19.150 --> 00:37:23.780
can hold expectations that we already know then that makes
600
00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:28.980
us feel safe so if we can release those expectations
601
00:37:29.139 --> 00:37:34.500
and it opens up expands the possibilities of what we
602
00:37:34.539 --> 00:37:40.659
can experience so true otherwise we're limiting Yeah.
603
00:37:40.679 --> 00:37:41.920
I'm going to have to do a lot of thinking
604
00:37:41.960 --> 00:37:46.809
on that this week because that's hitting home. Cause I
605
00:37:46.849 --> 00:37:47.949
do the expectations.
606
00:37:49.849 --> 00:37:50.050
Yeah.
607
00:37:50.630 --> 00:37:53.050
I mean, we hold for others. We hold for ourselves.
608
00:37:53.710 --> 00:38:02.369
It it's yeah. Just builds resentment, resentment for ourselves. And
609
00:38:02.429 --> 00:38:06.070
it's very, very limiting when you can only base yourself,
610
00:38:06.949 --> 00:38:10.289
what you can desire for yourself on what you have
611
00:38:10.369 --> 00:38:14.429
known from the past, then it limits. Limit yourself to
612
00:38:14.449 --> 00:38:21.869
the most exciting, joyful, happy time you've ever experienced. That's
613
00:38:21.889 --> 00:38:25.949
the limit. You can never experience anything beyond that. And I,
614
00:38:25.989 --> 00:38:29.329
for one, would love to experience something beyond that. I've
615
00:38:29.369 --> 00:38:30.769
had a lot of joy in my life, a lot
616
00:38:30.789 --> 00:38:34.150
of happiness in my life, and I want more. And
617
00:38:34.190 --> 00:38:36.010
I don't want to limit it to if it can
618
00:38:36.110 --> 00:38:38.789
get bigger and it can feel better and it can,
619
00:38:38.949 --> 00:38:44.739
can be more fulfilling. I want that. I don't want
620
00:38:44.760 --> 00:38:47.139
to limit myself to what I, what I only, what
621
00:38:47.199 --> 00:38:52.619
I know, because I don't know a lot. Doing this work, digging,
622
00:38:52.719 --> 00:38:55.239
going within what I've realized is I don't know shit.
623
00:38:56.760 --> 00:39:00.150
I don't have the experiences that everybody else has. I
624
00:39:00.170 --> 00:39:03.119
don't need to have their same experiences. But I also
625
00:39:03.219 --> 00:39:05.199
don't want to limit mine to only what I know.
626
00:39:05.219 --> 00:39:09.940
Because what I know is like equivalent to the tip
627
00:39:09.960 --> 00:39:17.630
of a pen. Yeah. Okay. All right. What else do
628
00:39:17.670 --> 00:39:22.610
we have? We have, ooh, leads perfectly into old outdated beliefs.
629
00:39:24.409 --> 00:39:27.210
Old outdated beliefs. They are hard little suckers to let go.
630
00:39:28.510 --> 00:39:31.349
They are familiar, which gives us... us comfort. We are
631
00:39:31.409 --> 00:39:35.449
comfortable with them and have spent years building systems and
632
00:39:35.469 --> 00:39:38.780
developing habits that depend on them. Like a man who
633
00:39:38.820 --> 00:39:41.860
has worn eyeglasses so long that he forgets he has
634
00:39:41.900 --> 00:39:45.619
them on. We forget that the world looks to us
635
00:39:45.719 --> 00:39:48.260
the way it does because we have become used to
636
00:39:48.340 --> 00:39:52.619
seeing it that way. through a particular set of lenses. Today, however,
637
00:39:53.159 --> 00:39:56.619
we need new lenses and we need to throw the
638
00:39:56.739 --> 00:40:07.010
old ones away. Some examples, Janice, we are familiar with these.
639
00:40:07.230 --> 00:40:10.750
Some examples of old outdated beliefs. I am not good enough.
640
00:40:11.969 --> 00:40:16.309
I don't belong here. They're too good for me. That's
641
00:40:16.349 --> 00:40:20.230
not for people like me. I can't do things like that.
642
00:40:21.389 --> 00:40:24.300
I'm not confident enough for that goal.
643
00:40:26.320 --> 00:40:28.619
Jeez. You put a picture of me right on top
644
00:40:28.659 --> 00:40:29.079
of that one.
645
00:40:29.480 --> 00:40:32.119
I know, right? Picture of us in the dictionary.
646
00:40:32.619 --> 00:40:34.619
There we go.
647
00:40:35.360 --> 00:40:42.329
Wow. And old outdated beliefs are the shackles that keep
648
00:40:42.409 --> 00:40:48.570
us chained to the past. Chained to the past. You know,
649
00:40:48.769 --> 00:40:53.170
and that's why it's so important that we understand following
650
00:40:53.250 --> 00:41:01.150
somebody else's strictly constructed map can't work for all of
651
00:41:01.230 --> 00:41:05.190
us because we all, yes, we have similar beliefs, but
652
00:41:05.230 --> 00:41:08.510
we all have different belief systems. We've all grown up
653
00:41:08.570 --> 00:41:12.110
in different experiences. And even, you know, people with the
654
00:41:12.159 --> 00:41:15.780
siblings out there, I have three siblings and the four
655
00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:19.840
of us remember childhood very differently We grew up in
656
00:41:19.880 --> 00:41:23.500
the same house, but had very different experiences. So to
657
00:41:23.539 --> 00:41:27.300
believe that a cookie cutter program can help you get
658
00:41:27.380 --> 00:41:30.980
to the true essence of you, that it can return
659
00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:36.719
you to your original divine blueprint, just doesn't fly anymore.
660
00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:43.179
It's about getting curious for you. Why do I believe that?
661
00:41:43.679 --> 00:41:46.380
Do I still believe that? Why did I respond to
662
00:41:46.420 --> 00:41:49.659
this the way I did? Why did I react? And
663
00:41:49.699 --> 00:41:52.909
it's just about questioning without judgment. That's the biggest thing.
664
00:41:53.050 --> 00:41:57.230
I'm so glad Jen brought up the judge because when
665
00:41:57.289 --> 00:41:59.949
you can question, and we've talked about the observation deck,
666
00:42:00.369 --> 00:42:05.869
when you can just watch your behaviors and ask nonjudgmental
667
00:42:05.929 --> 00:42:11.730
questions and allow yourself to be present, the answers come.
668
00:42:13.389 --> 00:42:16.539
They always come. They're not always what we want to
669
00:42:16.599 --> 00:42:23.269
hear because it's always truth. But the answers come. We
670
00:42:23.309 --> 00:42:27.050
have to start trusting the guidance within. And it's not
671
00:42:27.110 --> 00:42:35.179
about launching into big life-changing decisions. You can start small
672
00:42:36.300 --> 00:42:45.059
by simply asking the questions. There's resentment in Janice for
673
00:42:45.139 --> 00:42:50.719
how her birthday went. Okay. Well, why is that there?
674
00:42:51.670 --> 00:42:54.690
Where did the expectation start? And what can I do
675
00:42:54.730 --> 00:43:00.269
differently next year? It's not about Janice being bad. It's
676
00:43:00.309 --> 00:43:02.829
not about Janice being good. It's about Janice being real
677
00:43:04.150 --> 00:43:09.210
and truthful and honest. And in this two hours that
678
00:43:09.250 --> 00:43:14.150
I've been gifted with Janice, you know, we've realized that
679
00:43:14.650 --> 00:43:17.170
energetically she was saying my birthday is not a big deal.
680
00:43:18.340 --> 00:43:24.000
What made her choose that? Why did, did she already
681
00:43:24.059 --> 00:43:26.429
have an expectation that she was going to be disappointed?
682
00:43:26.590 --> 00:43:29.130
So she was trying to make herself feel better by
683
00:43:29.230 --> 00:43:33.309
saying it's not a big deal. There we go.
684
00:43:36.409 --> 00:43:38.789
Yeah. Yeah.
685
00:43:40.090 --> 00:43:44.300
So comparison expectations and old outdated beliefs just start now.
686
00:43:44.829 --> 00:43:47.329
Allow yourself to get curious and ask the questions. Why
687
00:43:47.389 --> 00:43:51.130
am I comparing myself to this? Why am I holding
688
00:43:51.150 --> 00:43:59.369
this expectation? Does this outdated belief still serve me? And
689
00:43:59.409 --> 00:44:02.210
it's not so much about immediately taking action. It's about
690
00:44:02.250 --> 00:44:02.809
being aware.
691
00:44:04.070 --> 00:44:06.190
And this is just perfect way to end the show
692
00:44:06.250 --> 00:44:09.130
because those are things that we can think about if
693
00:44:09.170 --> 00:44:13.139
you choose to or not. But this week, if we're
694
00:44:13.159 --> 00:44:16.489
trying to Be more aware or grow or whatever. Be
695
00:44:16.510 --> 00:44:18.889
more whole. Those are perfect thoughts.
696
00:44:20.530 --> 00:44:27.860
Excellent. Okay. All right. As always, Janice, thank you so much.
697
00:44:28.780 --> 00:44:32.599
Oh, Judy. Oh, gee. I can't take compliments.
698
00:44:33.280 --> 00:44:34.619
Well, we're working on that.
699
00:44:35.139 --> 00:44:35.539
Thank you.
700
00:44:36.460 --> 00:44:38.320
That is an old outdated belief, Janice.
701
00:44:38.960 --> 00:44:43.280
I know. There you go. Thank you, Judy. Thank you, everybody.
702
00:44:43.949 --> 00:44:48.269
We just love sharing our feelings, our stories, our tools
703
00:44:48.309 --> 00:44:51.269
with you. And I'm so glad you're here right now
704
00:44:51.610 --> 00:44:51.929
with us.
705
00:44:52.630 --> 00:44:52.849
Yes.
706
00:44:53.929 --> 00:44:57.429
Yes. Special shout out to everybody who commented today. That
707
00:44:57.449 --> 00:44:57.829
was fun.
708
00:44:57.849 --> 00:45:01.610
Yes. That was great. Thank you, everybody.
709
00:45:02.719 --> 00:45:05.019
Thank you so much for choosing to be here now
710
00:45:05.059 --> 00:45:06.960
with us. Please always remember.
711
00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:09.139
You are not alone.
712
00:45:09.679 --> 00:45:13.199
And don't ever forget. You are awesome. We'll see you
713
00:45:13.239 --> 00:45:13.659
next time.
714
00:45:14.780 --> 00:45:16.780
Bye.