Therapy Session Ft. Dr. Chantel

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Yo yo yo yo yo yo we are back again with another episode of Guys Amongst Men Podcast.
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Hey, say that.
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Yes, sir.
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Episode 73.
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See, I got it right this time.
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We got hey, we got some queen energy today for y'all for sure.
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We got a very, very special guest, Wooden Young alumni.
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Um, licensed professional counselor.
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Lord knows I need some counselor.
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Oh, we all need some counselor.
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You know, hey, you know what inflation is.
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Oh, I got you.
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I got you.
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Hey, she got it.
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I ain't gonna lie to you.
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Consider this the most takehold to you.
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I ain't gonna sugarcoat it to you.
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It's going to collections over here, baby.
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Hey, consider this a consultation.
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I just want to inquire.
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Hey, the price is going up.
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It is going up.
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So this is our free so this is our free consultation, like D said.
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Right, right, right.
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Cool, cool, cool.
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Hey, so so so what's we so once we get into it, man?
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Uh D, we uh how your Friday going, but we kind of we kind of pre-game already without you.
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Okay, man.
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My Friday going good, man.
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That's good, man.
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It's early where work today, man.
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Got to get out and get lunch with the queen.
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Oh man, that's well, well, well there.
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Must be much.
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That's why you come on here with that big smile.
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Hey, but man, um uh Nisha, what um, so these last few weeks we've been talking about uh I'm gonna get right to the meat and potatoes, but these these last few weeks we've been um on the Brittany Granner situation.
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Um, like how do you feel about that situation and when you heard about it?
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And you know, uh, and what's like what's been the the talks around you about that situation?
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To be honest, there's been like a lot of different conversations about it.
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I'm not really a fan of media.
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Um, I'm also not a fan of like uh making myself have an opinion on everything.
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Um I just feel like there's always something going on.
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So I haven't really looked at it closely, to be perfectly honest, intentionally.
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Um I know what's going on, so yeah, I try to say that.
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I'm kind of indifferent, I'm kind of indifferent just because I on one hand I do think that there it's a power move, right?
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I think that Russia is absolutely using it.
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Um, I do think it has a lot to do.
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Yeah, it's politics.
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I I believe that you know they're using her.
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Um, I'm not sure if I assume I don't know if she identifies as her, so I apologize.
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Um 2022, goddamn.
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Yeah, I apologize.
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However, with that being said, she they are a part of the LGBTQ Q Q community, right?
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So and they're black, so yeah, like I I feel like there's some fuck shit in real life.
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Um, but I uh and I would like for them to release her.
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Exactly, yeah.
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But it definitely sucks, but big big on that one.
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I want to hit a butt.
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I I heard butt four times.
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Hey, what's it?
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It's about to get real.
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I like that.
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Hey, D, you seen the two up.
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I would be too scared to do that.
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It's something that I probably wouldn't have risked, is all I'm saying.
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I wouldn't have risked weaken, she had to be weakening, not rushing, like no, no, I came to this conclusion, right?
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We could say she was rushing.
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We I mean, we could have just said she was rushing, like, all right, I gotta hurry up and catch this plane, yeah.
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And now you start throwing stuff in there, not not really paying attention, then all of a sudden the bag that she had just had this little absolutely because of the amount, you write about it, you write about it, and her and her lawyer really should be saying some shit like that.
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Because I'm I'm and I get it, it's politics, but that's what I gotta say about that.
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I know we already heard our mama say that wrong place, wrong time.
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You already know, hey, hey, but but free bg, um free bg for sure, once again.
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Hey, but um, so as you so uh not to be long-winning, I'm not gonna say the whole the full title, but I'm gonna say it one more time.
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So Nisha is a licensed professional counselor, right?
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Well, my so that is pending because you have to go through like an application process or whatever, but I am already nationally certified, okay.
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Okay, so nationally certified counselor, technically by the title.
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So, what's the difference between that and a therapist?
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No, there's no difference.
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I am that's just like okay, you know, that's the that's the licensing, yeah.
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Okay, so how long how long have you been uh how long have you been into it, like practicing it?
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Um, it'll be a year in September.
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So I I took the licensing exam last April, um and I passed then, and so everything is like done, it's just the application process.
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You gotta paper and additional fees and all that and stuff like that.
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So I did one of them.
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So the national certification I finished, I'm just waiting for the other one to be in the system.
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Oh, okay.
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Illinois takes forever when it comes.
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Yeah, but everything they move slow on certain shit.
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But let you owe them some money.
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That's why I said with certain shit, they move slow as hell.
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When it benefits you, right, but it doesn't it doesn't stop anything, it's literally just just the title.
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Okay.
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I still practice as the same thing at the same level.
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Okay, and what what made you get into that?
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Like what was your driving force for that?
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Uh life.
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Um well I just seen I I saw some wild shit as a kid, and I experienced a lot of anxiety growing up, um and depression, especially in like undergrad years, like trying to like navigate that world.
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Uh like for me, it felt by myself because that wasn't like where I came from.
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So it was like knowing that I was experiencing it, and the more that I learned, um, I'm like, yeah, this these some of these is some of the issues that we're dealing with um as a result of the systemic issues can be dealt with internally.
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Um, and I felt like there were things that we needed to talk about.
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People have always come and talked to me.
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Like I've always felt like I will be in a helping field, but I wasn't really certain what I was gonna do.
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It took a little while for me to like kind of figure it out, yeah.
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Um, but it came naturally for me.
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Like people have always like just told me their entire life, um, just without me ever asking the information.
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And so it was like it just came natural to me.
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Um, and like I said, my own struggles with mental health and it being taboo um for my family.
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I'm like, but why?
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Like I'm really experiencing this, like exactly.
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And so who would you who would you go to when you was experiencing your anxiety or your depression?
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Like, who was your therapist?
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Who was your counselor?
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You know, it kind of helped you turn yours around.
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Initially, I didn't have one.
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Initially, I leaned on um religion, um, which was which helped.
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Um, I've always had a really good connection with uh God and spirit, and so it's just like that that was for me.
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Um, but then you know, like there was there started being some issues with that, and I'm like, all right, so I got a therapist.
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I didn't care about the part that was taboo because that's fine, I get it, but I had other experiences like I, you know, going to Winnie Young, going to college and things like that.
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Like there were things that I was exposed to, and I'm like, all right, but I don't have to deal with this like this.
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And so when I found um a black therapist myself, so I have a and I work with her.
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Oh, you say you work with a lot of people I still work with her.
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Oh, that's dope.
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How long have you been how long have you um been in therapy?
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Um for five years, I think.
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Oh, okay.
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Hey, why are women like naturally more mature than us?
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Like, because I'm I'm I'm I'm in the process of searching for a black therapist, but my wife has been telling me, like, yeah, I think you should sign up for therapy, babe.
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But I'm like, just I think shout out to Sterling Brim.
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I just think um Sterling just did uh interview with um on our Eman Shepherd podcast.
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Um Eman Loki stole our name too.
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It's Eman I saw that, bro.
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I saw that.
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Hey Eman, bro, I'm gonna send them papers here, wait.
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We gotta talk to you, Eman.
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You gotta get your ass on this podcast and make it right.
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That's what you gotta do, Eman.
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We gotta talk to you.
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No, I was just asking, I'm like, Y'all got the papers and things on the podcast.
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Oh, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, for sure, because he's tweaking.
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Oh, yeah.
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Yeah, we gotta do it.
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He might get away with his shit, even all can be forgiven if he come on here and just give us a silent comment.
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We gotta talk it out.
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You know, but Nisha, my my question is uh me being a uh a black kid who who went through trauma and seen a lot of things going on.
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How how many of our people do you see come into the office and seek therapy?
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Um, so I I do work for uh predominantly white practice, okay.
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Um, because of the area that it's in.
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It's in it's located in Northbrook.
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Um, however, I do see I'm trying to think the number.
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How many clients, how many black clients?
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I mean, necessary it don't necessarily have to be just, you know, in your in your in your you know at your uh at your practice.
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It can be in general.
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That's what I should have, that's how I should have uh specified it for you.
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I'm sorry.
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Oh no, it's cool.
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Uh so actually when people seek therapy.
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Okay.
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A lot.
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Um, I have a lot of people who reach out to me um for referrals, reach reach out to me about like how do they go about it, right?
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Things like that.
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Like black people are especially, I would say, like uh millennials, Gen Zers or whatever, are are with it because it's just the knowledge is there, right?
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And it's not as taboo, like it's 2022, like nothing is really taboo.
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Yeah, right.
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So exactly your mental health is the le is the last thing that you gotta really hide.
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Um, now they won't necessarily be they're not as open necessarily in the beginning, but they they do seek therapy.
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So I guess am I answering your question?
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Yeah.
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You are you whether you think you're not, you are okay.
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So is it uh does it become stressful?
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Like for you, like does it become overbearing sometime with you, you know, you're giving all this um, you know, healing out, and at the end of the day, like, is it hard for you to like unplug?
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Because it's like you're human.
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It's like that therapists are human also.
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So it's like when you go home, like how hard is it to unplug?
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Um, so I learned early on how to unplug uh during my internship because I interned um with a company that worked directly with DCFS.
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Okay.
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Um, and so my clients were foster children or in the system, or sometimes I had foster um, I had, I'm sorry, biological parents who wanted their children back, right?
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I had some of them too.
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And so I learned early on what it meant to like be human and be a professional.
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Like it is where my heart is, um, but that's more of a community thing.
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Um, I I intentionally worked for a private practice so that I could separate right now because I'm still learning how to, I'm still learning what it looks like to decompress.
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Because like I said, I'm only a year licensed, right?
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Exactly.
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So like um, but I I clear I set clear boundaries, really, really clear boundaries for myself.
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Like I don't I don't look at emails, even though sometimes I I do if I have it, but right the practice knows that I don't check emails before noon.
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Um my phone is generally on do not disturb when during like my hours.
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So like 12 to 9 is like when I'm available to do some work.
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That's not when I'm always taking sessions, but that's like when I'm available, and that's Monday through Thursday.
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The rest of those days I don't I'm not responding.
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My clients also know that as well, because none of it is uh I only have one uh crisis client right now.
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And so they there are other avenues like that we've set up where they can take because at the end of the day I'm I'm only your therapist.
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You only see me for 50 minutes, maybe two hours a week, you know, if we have multiple sessions a week.
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But you gotta, I got my own life, and like I said, I'm I'm am a person that deals with anxiety myself.
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I manage it uh a lot better than I used to, right?
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I know when I'm experiencing anxiety and I know how to like decome, you know, cope really quickly or regulate, but I I am just very intentional.
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Like I once I'm done, I'm done.
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I close my computer.
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I won't I try to work in uh like specific spaces, so I'll work in my home office or I'll go outside, but I try to make separations so that I can decompress.
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Okay.
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Does the office shit?
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Does the office or the practice, and this is just a generalized question.
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When I when I speak, I'm basically speaking generalized.
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Um, does the office give you guys your own your own type of counseling or type of things?
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Because uh the job that you do is a stressful job.
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You you deal with you you're taking in everybody else's pain, you're taking in everybody else's problems and all types of stuff like that.
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So when all of that's done and the stress starts to build up, does the job give you guys your own personal therapist outside of that on from there, or is that just something that you got to go seek for yourself?
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Uh so it's like two parts.
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So early license, um, early licensure, you do get supervision, which can kind of be viewed as like a form of like supplemental therapy, but a lot of that is more like going over the cases, um talking through it, like hey, like this is what's going on, this is these are the uh different strategies that we're working on, this is the progress, you know, like really talking about it from that level.
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Um, but that's only an hour a week.
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Um, and not really because we talked for like 20 minutes.
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So that's only because I'm new.
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Um so next year, next year I'll sit for like the second portion where I can do like my own practice.
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So like I'll have had enough hours under my belt to say, like, okay, like you can do this without supervision.
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Um that would end, but like, so the second part of the question to answer that is that we we kind of have to do that on our own, not even kind of, we have to do that on our own.
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The general rule of thumb is that every therapist has a therapist.
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Like when I started school my first term, they were like, if you don't have a therapist, we are damn near not gonna sign off on you being able to take the license, exactly, because it it's kind of like a no-brainer, you know.
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It's yeah, right.
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Why would you even just to make sure that you're processing some things right?
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like have it on standby, right?
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Like, you need someone to be able to decompress with as well, and to be able to like just uh just discuss certain things.
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When when were you able to um put your finger on anxiety?
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Because I just like realized I struggle with anxiety, and I I feel like I mean, I can't speak for like everybody in America, but I feel like shit growing up in America in the urban community, it's like how don't you got some type of you know, anxiety?
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Because I I really didn't recognize it until I got with my wife, and she pointed it out like I just you know never paid attention to it, but yeah, anxiety is real though, and I've learned like um I haven't like got professional help, but I learned like how I mean when I could do it, I would partake in um marijuana, they would say the herbs, um you know, the herbs from the earth, but uh no, but what I do is um like I kind of take like a deep breath.
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Um, like I've learned little tricks to control it, you know, because it it's it's weird, like that we in it we're not weird.
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I guess it's good that we're in this space of mental health and you know, finding out you know, um more stuff about it and being knowledgeable and just really wanting to become better functioning human beings, I would say.
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Yeah, so when were you able to put your finger on it and put a word to it or find out your triggers?
00:20:01.359 --> 00:20:07.279
Um, I feel like I was I was aware of it as a child.
00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:24.720
I didn't have the language, like I knew that I dealt with a bit of social anxiety as a kid, like and it's not even because I care, I don't care about people's opinions, like people just I just feel people's energy, like why y'all went to Whitney Young because y'all weird kids.
00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:35.039
That's why it looked like on the left side of what I just I don't know, I hate that.
00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:40.000
Everybody at Wiggy L'Social language ain't gonna let that slide.
00:20:42.240 --> 00:20:43.599
Y'all weird as hell.
00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:49.440
Oh my god, all the Whitney Young for Whitney Young, man.
00:20:49.519 --> 00:20:50.319
I'll be messing with y'all.
00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:51.920
I get 290.
00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:52.799
That ain't never gone.
00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:54.960
I've damn dolphins.
00:21:02.559 --> 00:21:10.000
Hey, but it's kind of crazy that the moment y'all get a black man pres uh black man principal, all the bullshit start happening at the school now.
00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:10.720
Y'all starting to get it.
00:21:16.160 --> 00:21:17.440
But you know how that go.
00:21:17.680 --> 00:21:20.000
Yeah, it's the times we in, man.
00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:23.680
Yeah, it's yeah, you're gonna put a black face on all the bullshit.
00:21:24.079 --> 00:21:24.640
Who cares?
00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:26.480
I love them and I'm backing them, so it don't matter.
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:27.119
Oh, yeah.
00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:30.799
I love I I got my love for Whitney Young, even though I'm a foreman hornet.
00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:32.640
Well, okay, what's good with that?
00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:36.799
Because I won't really hit okay, yeah.
00:21:37.279 --> 00:21:41.279
If it wasn't about Whitney Young, I didn't really pay attention to it, but that's on brand.
00:21:45.599 --> 00:21:52.319
I had a I had a uh uh a female friend that uh uh was a Whitney Young who female friend, huh?
00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:53.839
I think I know Dre.
00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:56.160
I think you you told me a name, right?
00:21:56.480 --> 00:21:59.759
Yeah, I used to I used to date somebody who was.
00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:03.839
Okay.
00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:09.200
So I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna go and check out who the who are part of the five breaking it down, right?
00:22:09.599 --> 00:22:21.119
You know Jones gotta come on me last week for name dropping, so I'm gonna stop name dropping.
00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:21.839
Yeah, there you go.
00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:25.680
Hey Drey, you're giving a lot of clues, though.
00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:27.839
Hey, give it a lot of clues.
00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:29.440
It's cool, it's cool.
00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:38.160
That's a little messy, but hey, everybody I don't want to be a part of it.
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:40.880
Everybody loves a little mess, you feel me?
00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:42.480
Just a little bit.
00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:44.319
That's my little toxic trait.
00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:45.279
Just a little bit.
00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:55.440
But um to answer your question, so if we want to be really so two things, because I heard two things.
00:22:55.519 --> 00:22:59.759
So you say manage, I'm sorry, you said control your anxiety, you don't have to control it.
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:01.759
Um, that's one of the common misconceptions.
00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:04.640
You don't don't try to control it, just try to manage it.
00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:17.359
And and and the reason why I use different language is because it's two different perspectives, like when you're trying to control it, you're numbing, like you want to stop right then, and you're like, stop, stop it.
00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:18.640
I don't want to feel this.
00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:21.519
Um, and a lot of times that increases the anxiety.
00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:24.799
But if you're a temporary fix, basically, right?
00:23:25.039 --> 00:23:26.079
No, not necessarily.
00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:30.799
It's like the so thinking about if you were experiencing anxiety, you're feeling stressed.
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:34.640
A lot of times, like it'll come with like your breathing gets heavy, right?
00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:38.720
You might start feeling shaky, your mouth starts getting dry.
00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:43.920
Um, you know, you just start focusing on a lot of different things at once.
00:23:44.160 --> 00:23:56.559
Um, if you're trying to control it, um you're restricting the anxiety in a way, instead of just allowing it to flow, because it is a feeling at the end of the day.
00:23:56.799 --> 00:24:00.400
Just like joy, just like sadness, it's a feeling.
00:24:00.480 --> 00:24:04.640
And if you allow it to move, then it will.
00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:12.400
Most feelings don't last more than 90 seconds, like in reality, if we allow it to move.
00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:18.319
And so, like you don't have to control it as so much as management of it.
00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:23.680
And with management, it's learning what your triggers are, acknowledging them, right?
00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:39.680
Like, I know that um large rooms make me feel uncomfortable, or rather, large rooms of people, because I know that about myself, I know how to go into my head before it gets there.
00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:41.759
Like I know that that's a thing for me.
00:24:41.839 --> 00:24:45.279
So I'm already prepping myself before I experience that.
00:24:45.359 --> 00:25:00.559
And then also, you know, there's other things that I do spiritually and just like grounding myself so that I'm not impacted by the things, but so uh, so that don't try to man, don't try to control it, just learn to manage it.
00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:08.880
So coping and again, it just because it changes the way that you attack it, changing the way that you think about it.
00:25:09.039 --> 00:25:10.400
Uh easy, Joe.
00:25:10.480 --> 00:25:12.720
We need some sound effects on this motherfucker, Joe.
00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:19.920
She just you just dropped some gems, like exactly.
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:27.440
I would have, I would, hey, I would have gave her the working on that this weekend, right?
00:25:28.640 --> 00:25:30.799
We know what we do for the sound effects.
00:25:31.519 --> 00:25:32.960
Don't worry about it, we're gonna figure it out.
00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:34.400
That's a bar right there, though.
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:36.799
She just dropped the bar.
00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:39.119
Yeah, especially the emotions only lasted 90 seconds.
00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:39.680
That's the case.
00:25:39.839 --> 00:25:41.759
Hey, hey, D, that was the one, bro.
00:25:41.839 --> 00:25:43.519
That's why I was like, if I had it, I wouldn't have to do it.
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:52.880
What you know matters, and anxiety a lot of times is a is a well, it's it's not all the time, it's a mental thing, right?
00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:58.480
So what you know you can manage, what you're aware of, you can manage.
00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:00.640
You have the capacity to manage it.
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:13.759
Um, and so once I learned the language, so like I think that I really figured out that I was dealing with those things um in college, so undergrad.
00:26:14.240 --> 00:26:27.599
Um and to be frank, I actually technically have, I won't even say technically, but PTSD more than, but that's like a whole other thing.
00:26:28.880 --> 00:26:34.400
Um, which it is an anxiety disorder, it's a stress-related anxiety disorder, essentially.
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:39.599
Um, and so um, or trauma-induced anxiety disorder.
00:26:39.839 --> 00:26:49.759
And so that's when I was able to like put a name to it, but I was aware that like I don't feel good.
00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:55.119
Like I had stomach aches as a kid a lot for a lot of different situations.
00:26:55.279 --> 00:27:01.759
Um, and I didn't know that that's what I was experiencing, but it was like rightfully so with the stuff that I was experiencing.
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:08.559
Um, and so that's once I learned what it was, it's like okay.
00:27:09.200 --> 00:27:11.599
And I learned that it wasn't normal.
00:27:13.279 --> 00:27:20.400
That's when I started like doing more research, and like I'm like, okay, you know, the more you know, the more you know.
00:27:20.640 --> 00:27:21.599
Exactly.
00:27:22.319 --> 00:27:24.720
Definitely now I know a question for you.
00:27:24.880 --> 00:27:34.240
I know, you know, you saying like nothing is really taboo, and we all know that you know, mental health, everybody is the conversation, therapy, everybody's gonna go to therapy.
00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:36.799
And you've been to therapy yourself as a counselor.
00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:49.200
How intense is it to sit down in a therapy session and just sit with your whatever your internal triggers are, whatever trauma you have, to go back and revisit that.
00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:51.200
Like that can't be easy at all.
00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:54.640
I ain't never been to therapy, but um, I'm looking for one too.
00:27:54.799 --> 00:28:04.480
But it's like just the thought of sitting with your own problems and sitting with all the shit that you don't want to deal with that's affecting you present.
00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:08.799
You know, like how intense is it in those therapy sessions?
00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:14.720
Um so it can be intense.
00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:17.519
I it wasn't really intense for me because I was with it.
00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:23.359
I I already knew what it, I didn't I didn't anticipate it not being heavy.
00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:29.680
Like I knew what I had experienced, I knew that it was heavy, like it is what it is, but I don't want it no more.
00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:34.319
Like I don't want to hold on to it because like when are you not carrying it?
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:39.200
Like, even if you go into the therapy session and have this this session heavy, when did you stop?
00:28:39.440 --> 00:28:44.480
You was you've been carrying it, you've been feeling the heaviness, so like it's it's still with you.
00:28:44.640 --> 00:28:48.960
So that was like my outlook, but it can be really, really hard.
00:28:49.119 --> 00:28:56.079
Like, um, I have some clients that will implode the entire session, like they don't, you know.
00:28:56.400 --> 00:29:08.480
Um, I don't mean to laugh because it's not funny, but it's like some some of the stuff is gets a wild sometimes in the sessions, and so um like are you able are you able to um uh oh hipper, don't violate HIPAA.
00:29:08.640 --> 00:29:12.799
I mean, we ain't gonna get it show you're asking like fuck.
00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:18.079
Well, I didn't say anything, I just said implode, like that's a word that's I was gonna say do you got anything?
00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:19.519
He was about to ask you a question that was.
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:26.240
Literally, so my question's an example, not a story.
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:41.680
An example of like imploding, like you're turning onwards, like so the the pain is like so so heavy that like the they I've seen people literally like it's almost as okay.
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:48.720
Y'all know how rolly police roll up, uh as soon as you touch it, that motherfucker just curl up.
00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:51.920
Yeah, essentially that's what the person was doing.
00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:53.359
Oh shit.
00:29:55.200 --> 00:30:02.000
Like physically will we'll physically curl up, like because it's it hurt, like believe it, yeah.
00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:04.720
All right, so I got a two-part question for you.
00:30:04.960 --> 00:30:07.680
So I I'm Mr.
00:30:07.920 --> 00:30:09.920
Controversial, so I'm I'm gonna be real with you.
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:11.039
I'm going for it.
00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:15.519
Uh, this guy, how many of these motherfuckers are really delusional?
00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:18.480
And then my next I'll I'll let you answer that one.
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:30.240
Like, as delusional, do you mean like you know, like they can tell you can tell you can tell that they exaggerate in certain certain circumstances?
00:30:31.519 --> 00:30:43.200
You know, you get you get some people who will come to a therapy session and be like, Man, I really went through hard times and they never been through a hard time a day in life, they just need somebody to fucking talk to whole time.
00:30:43.359 --> 00:30:45.519
Like, do you encounter some of those people?
00:30:45.759 --> 00:30:46.319
Good question.
00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:47.519
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
00:30:47.599 --> 00:30:55.599
But a lot of times, so the lot of the way that in that way is tackled is more like privilege and those conversations we just have.
00:30:55.759 --> 00:31:03.039
Like, I just let them know, like, hey, so I hear you, I hear the frustration that you have, you know, towards the situation.
00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:15.759
However, this is actually what life looks like because part of being a therapist is not is not just listening to people's problems, it's also helping them think about things constructively.
00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:21.920
Like, and sometimes in order to help somebody think constructively, you got to give them a little bit of information.
00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:27.119
Like, actually, babe, real shit, babe, you're not, you're okay.
00:31:28.240 --> 00:31:30.480
It feels this way, and that's okay.
00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:39.119
So it's like teaching people too like the way that you think about a thing influences the way you feel about a thing, but those aren't the same thing, right?
00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:46.559
They both, you know, one of them could be wrong, like you could feel the way about it, and they don't mean that it's true, right?
00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:49.519
Yeah, that's that's true.
00:31:49.759 --> 00:31:59.519
You can have conversations like that, and like I feel like part of your question is too like when we think about like people, so along the lines of like personality disorders, right?
00:31:59.599 --> 00:32:05.599
Like um what people think is like psychopaths, right?
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:11.759
That's what the society calls it, it's antisocial disorder, uh, antisocial personality disorder.
00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:16.079
Um that's what people would think is like crazy, right?
00:32:16.160 --> 00:32:19.440
Quote unquote crazy, delusional, all those different things, right?
00:32:19.839 --> 00:32:25.279
Um, I feel like there are people that really do come in and they do like fit the criteria.
00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:36.640
Um, but one of the things that I feel like I'm learning is that all of those anything can be worked through.
00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:37.680
Right.
00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:50.160
If there are if the resources are present first and foremost, um, and then if the person's capacity is present, it can be worked through.
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:54.880
So even if they come in delusional, it can work through, you can work through the delusion.
00:32:57.920 --> 00:32:59.920
My second part, my I'm sorry, y'all.
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:23.680
My second part of the question is with uh relationships and so many women wanting to be married and not being married, does this fit into their delusion category or even into the fact because a lot of women got high expectations with no with no accountability behind it?
00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:40.079
But you say potatoes.
00:33:40.319 --> 00:33:42.480
I want to get to the potatoes.
00:33:42.720 --> 00:33:44.000
Let me tell you something, Jay.
00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:48.559
Like, uh I spit some shit like clinically, but what you don't know is I'm sassy as hell.
00:33:48.640 --> 00:33:49.759
So you throw something at me.
00:33:49.920 --> 00:33:51.440
That's cool, let's get with it.
00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:57.599
I mean all the shits, delusion.
00:33:57.839 --> 00:34:05.359
Um, I think both sides are delusional from a professional standpoint, like real life, both sides are delusional.
00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:08.800
Um, however, uh-oh.
00:34:09.199 --> 00:34:15.199
Some of the things that some of the things, yeah, because I am unmarried.
00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:20.880
Um, and I've been told that I'm delusional, and I know that I'm not delusional.
00:34:21.119 --> 00:34:23.440
But that's I feel like that's a harsh word though.
00:34:23.519 --> 00:34:24.639
Why wait, wait, wait.
00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:26.480
So I use delusion often.
00:34:26.639 --> 00:34:37.519
I definitely be delusion, hey, but Dre, well, but I'm saying, but I can say that some shit is delusional because I see it, I see delusion, right?
00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:49.840
Like, but but but okay, so I so I feel like so first, so adding on to what Dray's saying, I feel like being a therapist, it's like a plus war woman.
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:55.039
Like, uh, you take a chick out on a date, she a therapist, she gets to sue you and shit mentally.
00:34:55.119 --> 00:34:56.719
You like, damn, okay.
00:34:58.079 --> 00:34:59.199
Manipulative as fuck.
00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:04.320
You can manipulate the situation, manipulative as fuck, yeah.
00:35:04.639 --> 00:35:06.000
Well, who's really a delusion?
00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:15.440
Yeah, that's not a manipulator, so like might not be, but the majority is yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:17.360
So I'm not getting it, like I get what you're saying.
00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:22.960
Like, I feel like on one hand, that's why I said both sides are delusional, like there's illusion on both sides.
00:35:23.039 --> 00:35:38.079
Because on one hand, a lot of women will like have like certain first of all, let me just say, girlfriends that are listening, I'm always riding for y'all, so we talk about we need the but I'm always riding for TV on for the girls, okay.
00:35:38.239 --> 00:35:40.960
Um be tripping.
00:35:42.719 --> 00:35:45.119
There's like, yeah, there's just delusion on both sides.
00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:57.360
I think that if you some of some expectations, you gotta be able to like back it up as well, or you have to bring something that um creates balance for whatever it is that you're looking for.
00:35:57.519 --> 00:36:15.920
I don't think that it has to be like this whole like the money conversation, for example, that's a big thing, you know, it's ridiculous, but at the same time, I am traditional in the sense that I feel like the boy gets the girl or the masculine gets the feminine, whatever.
00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:18.800
Okay, so whatever you need.
00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:23.840
No, you are real, you you with the real feminine, not the not this new feminist shit.
00:36:24.239 --> 00:36:25.199
What's the new feminine?
00:36:26.159 --> 00:36:29.119
You know what the the new feminist is plain elaborate.
00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:30.000
All right, here we go.
00:36:30.079 --> 00:36:37.039
The new feminist is I need a six, six, six, I need a six six foot tall guy who makes six figures with a six-inch.
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:41.360
Yeah, that's not the that's not that's the real.
00:36:41.519 --> 00:36:49.280
Like, for example, like here's the thing like for me, like I got a career, I'm taking care of myself, I'm 30 years old.
00:36:49.519 --> 00:36:52.159
You gotta have a you gotta have a career.
00:36:52.320 --> 00:37:17.360
At first, I was like, you gotta have a job, but like, no, I I have a profession, and like there are things that come with being in the I don't want to make you feel small, and what I find a lot of times, especially because I date black men, they feel small if they don't, if they don't, if they feel like they're not the same caliber of of person, right?
00:37:17.519 --> 00:37:22.719
But you gotta but you gotta realize that's the that's the that's the form that people have put us in.
00:37:22.880 --> 00:37:25.920
It was not that's not all black men though.
00:37:26.079 --> 00:37:45.039
It's not no no, it's not I don't know, I don't but I'm saying that a lot of times the majority I've I just try to avoid is putting myself in situations for that to happen because I've run into it, so like I've run into it so often where like I'll say a word or whatever, and like ask me, like I I cut the school shit.
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:47.280
Gee, I can't scut I can't cut the school shit.
00:37:47.360 --> 00:37:51.199
I've been in school all my life, and either you like it or you don't.
00:37:51.360 --> 00:37:51.760
Exactly.
00:37:52.079 --> 00:37:57.360
I ain't trying to make you feel small because I say a podiatry, like that was the word that popped up in my head.
00:37:57.519 --> 00:38:03.039
It wasn't you know, you know, you're supposed to say foot doctor.
00:38:03.280 --> 00:38:11.119
No, you know, you know, you know what it is, you know what it is that she just said that I like.
00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:15.039
It's like nigga, you either like it, you take it and leave it.
00:38:16.159 --> 00:38:20.239
I feel like a lot of things, I feel like where the misconception comes in.
00:38:20.639 --> 00:38:27.760
So, you know, I'm the one that I I I'm I'm gonna be fair because I know niggas and I've dealt with females.
00:38:27.840 --> 00:38:36.000
I'm a married man, I've dealt with females before I got married, but I think it's become first of all, it's some weak niggas out here too.
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:36.719
Now agree.
00:38:39.679 --> 00:38:40.800
Don't start bashing this.
00:38:41.679 --> 00:38:43.199
I ain't bashing, I'm just keeping it.
00:38:48.400 --> 00:38:53.840
Hey, the biggest agree on the look, everything don't gotta be a gender battle though, y'all.
00:38:53.920 --> 00:38:56.719
We gotta try to crawl a spade, a spade.
00:38:56.960 --> 00:38:58.639
I love what she just said.
00:38:58.800 --> 00:39:03.920
You're gonna take it or leave it, and I feel like more, I feel like both sides.
00:39:04.079 --> 00:39:15.039
I feel like as women, don't don't belittle yourself for for him to feel masculine, like bro, but don't belittle him too, because that's the thing, too.
00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:22.079
Don't belittle him, respect him as a man, but don't bring yourself down where you gotta feel small.
00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:24.159
No, I want you to shine.
00:39:24.400 --> 00:39:29.760
But the thing is, the thing is, and I I'm gonna say it like this, and this is based off statistics, right?
00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:32.880
Men, most men do make more money than women.
00:39:33.039 --> 00:39:34.239
That is a that's a fact.
00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:45.280
That's a fact, we definitely but but but hold on, more women are educated and and have more degrees, which give them jobs, which give them which give them more careers.
00:39:45.519 --> 00:39:48.079
Guys get jobs, women more so get careers.
00:39:48.320 --> 00:39:51.679
Are we putting colour on to it or are we just speaking specifically black?
00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:54.400
Uh I mean, I'm just speaking, I'm speaking in general.
00:39:54.480 --> 00:39:57.360
I'm just speaking in general basically, but it goes even like it.
00:39:57.599 --> 00:40:00.800
There's a further separation when we talk about black, exactly.
00:40:00.880 --> 00:40:02.400
That's why I said right, right.
00:40:03.119 --> 00:40:05.119
Black woman snapping further and further.
00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:06.719
Oh, it gets further and further.
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:08.000
That's what I said.
00:40:08.079 --> 00:40:13.519
We so my thing is my thing is, and I'm not speaking on you, I'm just speaking in general.
00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:19.280
A lot of women, they'll get their education, they come out, and ain't nothing.
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:24.079
Me personally, my wife is educated, masters, all of that, right?
00:40:24.719 --> 00:40:26.639
I'm fine with I'm fine with all of that.
00:40:26.800 --> 00:40:49.039
But when it gets to a point where they make a little bit more money, some women in this world, and this is the modern world that we live in, they put on uh where I make the more money, you're a broadcast, nigga, instead of just trying to say, hey, we building together, it's like it's like most females want to bring, they want to bring the peanuts and want you to bring peanuts too.
00:40:49.119 --> 00:40:56.320
But now, baby, if I need to bring the noodles, if we go into Chinatown tonight because we need to make peanut peanut noodles soup, goddammit.
00:40:56.639 --> 00:41:00.320
And in order for us to make that, somebody gotta bring goddamn noodles.
00:41:00.559 --> 00:41:05.039
We can't be sitting there and then don't complain that I brought just one box of noodles.
00:41:05.199 --> 00:41:07.119
Motherfucker, I came with the box of noodles.
00:41:07.360 --> 00:41:12.960
It's like let's make a meal, and it's like a lot of people more so complain about what's on the table.
00:41:13.039 --> 00:41:17.760
I mean, what's being brought to the table than what's on the table for motherfuckers to put it together.
00:41:17.920 --> 00:41:18.559
Aye, aye, yeah.
00:41:18.880 --> 00:41:22.880
I hate that conversation anyway, they bring to the table because it's very social media.
00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:23.519
It is.
00:41:25.920 --> 00:41:38.400
People need to love each other, like even though even though I'm being there with that person or not, like some of the stuff be goofy because like super, like my daddy, my daddy was a drug dealer, like so.
00:41:38.480 --> 00:41:42.239
I and I mean my daddy, that's my road.
00:41:42.719 --> 00:41:46.960
So I I saw what it was like for a man to like take care of everything financially.
00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:52.000
I I saw what it was like for that to be the thing, so that is like my motto.
00:41:52.320 --> 00:41:57.760
I'm not gonna pretend like it ain't, however, I believe in balance.
00:41:57.840 --> 00:42:18.079
Like I've I'm not I feel like as a as a professional, as a person, as a woman that takes care of myself, as a woman who does operate in it from a very uh feminine space, naturally for me, and chosen, you can't either you're gonna be the masculine or you're not.
00:42:18.239 --> 00:42:20.880
Um so you so are you so go ahead.
00:42:20.960 --> 00:42:21.519
I'm sorry, Mark.
00:42:21.840 --> 00:42:26.239
But Nisha, can you so I heard two two things call my um attention.
00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:31.119
So are you can't like is when we talking masculine, right?
00:42:31.679 --> 00:42:37.920
So we live in a world where a woman is telling a man how to man, right?
00:42:38.079 --> 00:42:39.199
Yep, that's what I'm saying.
00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:43.119
I ain't no no no I'm no I'm not saying that you did that.
00:42:43.360 --> 00:42:50.400
I'm saying like I'm saying that um that that that that's like the that's the cloud that that that that's over everybody nowadays.
00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:58.239
It's like yeah, you know, too many times we get the the man trying to, I mean the woman trying to tell the man how to be a man, and it's like can you tie?
00:42:58.400 --> 00:42:59.519
Are we tying?
00:42:59.760 --> 00:43:03.440
Do we automatically tie financials into masculine?
00:43:03.679 --> 00:43:04.480
No, no, no.
00:43:04.719 --> 00:43:07.920
Um uh but providing great question, Marx.
00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:21.360
Providing is a part of that, and and it looks different, so that financial assistance is a part of it, because it is, and we're not gonna pretend like it ain't because how do you provide without it, right?
00:43:21.519 --> 00:43:27.920
It's a marriage, um, but it's not it's not the only thing, capitalism, we it's not the only thing, right?
00:43:28.079 --> 00:43:30.559
Um, but providing looks different.
00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:37.920
So, like I don't know, even if you're not, even if you're not, even if I make more than you, right?
00:43:38.719 --> 00:43:41.199
What are you taking care of in the home?
00:43:41.360 --> 00:43:43.760
Like, what is it that what are you bringing?
00:43:44.239 --> 00:43:49.599
I guess going back to the bring to the table conversation, like, are you are you able to fix some things?
00:43:49.679 --> 00:43:52.239
Like, or if it breaks, can you figure it out?
00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:59.440
Like in the same way that I that that I would try to figure out something on on my side, like I am just a naturally more domestic person.
00:43:59.519 --> 00:44:01.679
So then Again, it goes back to balance.
00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:03.519
Like, what is it that the relationship needs?
00:44:03.679 --> 00:44:05.519
That's the part where I'm like, people are dizzy.
00:44:05.760 --> 00:44:07.039
Like, it's right there.
00:44:07.280 --> 00:44:08.079
So, are you submissive?
00:44:08.239 --> 00:44:11.199
Like, I think a lot of people, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:44:12.079 --> 00:44:12.719
Are you submissive?
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:19.760
And I know a lot of people take the word submissive and like run that motherfucker to like the ground, like, oh, you're up under, you're beneath me.
00:44:19.920 --> 00:44:27.119
No, when I say submissive, I'm like, all right, he the man, he comes to you, he like, baby, this shit ain't sitting right.
00:44:27.280 --> 00:44:28.800
This the move I'm making.
00:44:29.199 --> 00:44:34.880
Like, are you submissive to let your man make the the final say so, or is it like nah?
00:44:35.039 --> 00:44:36.719
We say and so together.
00:44:38.880 --> 00:44:40.320
So I think that in that way.
00:44:40.639 --> 00:44:41.199
You get what I'm saying.
00:44:41.280 --> 00:44:42.719
I see you D, but you get what I'm saying.
00:44:43.119 --> 00:44:44.000
No, no, I get you.
00:44:44.079 --> 00:44:44.480
I get you.
00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:46.559
Submission is in that way.
00:44:46.639 --> 00:44:48.639
I think that you're using submission wrong.
00:44:48.960 --> 00:44:50.639
Because it's not about who gets the final.
00:44:50.880 --> 00:44:53.679
I don't believe that it's who gets the final say.
00:44:54.159 --> 00:45:03.360
Like, I might, if that's what your ego needs, I'll let you I'll let you have the final say, but ultimately we are gonna discuss this together.
00:45:03.920 --> 00:45:11.760
When I say a final say, I'm not meaning like an argument of type of final say, it's like uh hey, it's a it's a it's a decision that gotta be made.
00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:13.119
This, that, and the third.
00:45:13.280 --> 00:45:16.320
Is the man making the final decision, or right?
00:45:16.400 --> 00:45:18.559
I didn't think I didn't think that you meant arguments.
00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:19.599
Yeah, okay.
00:45:19.760 --> 00:45:22.960
I'm just I'm I was just trying to clarify so I I made sure we was on the same spot.
00:45:23.360 --> 00:45:29.199
She said she said something great though that over everybody's head, and women need to listen.
00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:41.760
If that's what you're sometimes the sometimes the ego does need to be fair, yeah, I mean I caught that but but the home and and we and and she says something great, you know.
00:45:41.840 --> 00:45:52.159
I think we need to replace the table with the home, you know, it's about right one, you know, it's about making sure the home is a well-oiled machine, yeah.
00:45:52.320 --> 00:46:00.559
You know, every and every every you know, every home don't look the same, it's got chemistry at your house might look completely different than the one at my house.
00:46:00.719 --> 00:46:13.119
So even if you even if a woman is dealing with a more feminine man, and she may be more masculine by nature, which is not ideal, but if that's what's working and y'all both, you know what I'm saying?
00:46:13.199 --> 00:46:21.119
If y'all both have to run your house and y'all kingdom the way you want it to be ran, don't let nobody else tell you it should be ran differently.
00:46:21.360 --> 00:46:22.320
That part, bro.
00:46:22.559 --> 00:46:52.159
There are just things that come with certain energy, and it's not about like again, like I'm not into um, it's in real life, there are things that come with certain energies, there are things that naturally come with femininity, and even if you even if you separate it from like a biological standpoint, there are just things that come with femininity, there are things that come with masculinity, and what we're not gonna do is pretend like we that that those things don't exist, that part right there, and that's what society hey we hey.
00:46:54.239 --> 00:46:56.000
Hey, that's why I'm asking these questions.
00:46:56.079 --> 00:47:00.079
She a therapist, she gotta think with an open mind, bro.
00:47:00.159 --> 00:47:02.559
So be having me like open.
00:47:02.639 --> 00:47:07.760
I do be having to sit back and think about some shit, like that's so important, bro.
00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:10.079
And that's what society is trying to force out.
00:47:10.159 --> 00:47:13.599
Like, that's my that's what that's my thing on saying what I said.
00:47:13.760 --> 00:47:15.920
It doesn't have to be a gender battle.
00:47:16.079 --> 00:47:36.800
We both need things, it's a male and a female for a reason, and we're we're we're talking from the heterosexu the heterosexual standpoint, so I don't want to finish you know it's 2022, but uh very stupid, but uh uh niche, have you ever heard of this guy named 19 Keys?
00:47:39.920 --> 00:47:41.840
I got a I got I got a great interview.
00:47:41.920 --> 00:47:45.039
I'm gonna see you the link, but um he didn't got it, you know.
00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:51.119
Don't act like I know y'all know I know y'all, but no, but he did an interview with this um queen, bro.
00:47:51.199 --> 00:47:52.719
This older queen, and she was drop.
00:47:52.880 --> 00:47:53.840
I haven't finished it yet.
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:54.800
Queen of four.
00:47:55.119 --> 00:47:58.159
Yes, she was you you heard her?
00:47:58.480 --> 00:47:59.440
Yeah, okay.
00:47:59.519 --> 00:48:05.920
Yeah, he she was dropping like great gems on um just you know, um the uh feminine energy.
00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:07.199
But I'm I'm gonna send you the link.
00:48:07.280 --> 00:48:09.760
But um, yes, that is very key, man.
00:48:09.840 --> 00:48:13.760
Like it we can't we and that's what like that's what I'm saying.
00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:18.320
Like, we gotta take like we gotta remember money is man-made, of course.
00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:23.599
We live in a capitalistic system, a capitalistic society, we have to make money, we know that.
00:48:23.760 --> 00:48:27.599
But at the end of the day, we have to build real bonds, you know.
00:48:27.679 --> 00:48:30.159
Like, right, fuck niggas that's rich.
00:48:30.239 --> 00:48:35.039
Like, do you want to fuck with money, or do you want a real man that's trying to get by?
00:48:35.119 --> 00:48:39.920
Like, we can't just make it seem like just because you're not a rich man, you're not a real man.
00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:49.360
Like, come on, like that that that narrative is being being pushed too much, like they're trying to say fuck the guy that got the nine to five.
00:48:49.519 --> 00:48:50.639
Come on, bro, why?
00:48:50.719 --> 00:48:57.440
But social media, that's social media because an anesthesiologist works nine to five.
00:48:58.320 --> 00:49:04.800
Majority of an anesthesiologist works nine to five, yeah, most of the time, or they don't, you know what I'm saying?
00:49:04.880 --> 00:49:10.559
Like, they they work a they work a they have a career, and the anesthesiologist probably make the most in the room.
00:49:10.719 --> 00:49:11.280
Come on, man.
00:49:11.519 --> 00:49:14.000
Like to do nothing, that's what's controlling.
00:49:14.079 --> 00:49:14.719
That's what's controlling.
00:49:16.400 --> 00:49:19.280
We think they don't do nothing, but they they job is real, real.
00:49:19.440 --> 00:49:21.199
Is it is it is it that intense?
00:49:21.760 --> 00:49:31.280
Yeah, so I found out really because I like black issues, but like apparently they're like keeping the person alive, yeah.
00:49:31.360 --> 00:49:45.760
They can't kill motherfuckers, but you know, like they making sure that the person wakes back up, like when Dre, like is just devils and I thought they just I thought they thought they just learned how to hit a switch system.
00:49:46.159 --> 00:49:47.280
No, but I did too.
00:49:47.360 --> 00:49:47.920
I did too.
00:49:48.000 --> 00:50:03.760
I didn't know 10 pounds, he's a black dude, this that the oh he needs 0.5 milliliters of uh you gotta know that you gotta know that like without thinking like you gotta know that without having to think about it.
00:50:03.840 --> 00:50:08.000
Like hey, I thought the hey, I ain't gonna lie, I thought the algorithm did it did it for him.
00:50:08.079 --> 00:50:09.039
Shit, I ain't gonna lie.
00:50:11.360 --> 00:50:13.199
Hey, they wouldn't be giving their ass on that much.
00:50:13.360 --> 00:50:16.079
Hey, the motherfuckers that cover that, get them epidural shots.
00:50:16.159 --> 00:50:17.440
They gotta know what the fuck they do.
00:50:17.920 --> 00:50:20.000
Yeah, I ain't gonna lie.
00:50:20.079 --> 00:50:25.039
You put a newfound respect when I see my anesthesiologist when I get this show, this shoulder surgery.
00:50:25.119 --> 00:50:28.960
I'm gonna be like, Hey, brother, they important, they important, like they can't.
00:50:31.280 --> 00:50:32.480
Yeah, that's real.
00:50:32.639 --> 00:50:34.960
I just found that out, like from one of my best friends, too.
00:50:35.039 --> 00:50:43.440
Like, it's something that he's interested in, and then I was watching, like, I'm a fan of blackish, and like Rainbow is uh anesthesiologist, the black mom.
00:50:43.519 --> 00:50:54.960
And I so I just started like doing anesthesiologist, like because she would all her her, you know, like her joke is like I'm a real doctor, like because people still put don't put respect on these anesthesiologists' name.
00:50:55.039 --> 00:51:05.360
It's like I'm a no, I'm big dog in this mother, but so like I looked it up, and they really do have a really important role, and they make money.
00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:10.639
Oh, yeah, so going back to the nana five, I ain't gonna get on nana fiver and all that stuff.
00:51:10.800 --> 00:51:20.480
My thing is listen, honey, here's here's all I'm gonna say if you're not if you're not even in that room, what are you talking about?
00:51:22.559 --> 00:51:29.119
And when her social media fellas, y'all hear her, and she says she ain't married, exactly.
00:51:29.280 --> 00:51:33.519
Right tendencies, she say she she got she got some.
00:51:33.840 --> 00:51:39.679
She gotta be qualified though, she's a little bit over there, but she she got some merry tendencies, right?
00:51:39.920 --> 00:51:40.320
What you mean?
00:51:40.400 --> 00:51:41.599
I'm a little bit over there with that.
00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:45.199
I heard you say I'm a fit, I'm really for the women.
00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:49.679
I heard I heard you I'm I got you for the girls, yeah.
00:51:49.760 --> 00:51:59.119
I gotta wrap for the girls because I um because I experience it on my side, yeah, and when I say the men out here are dizzy, dizzy, dizzy.
00:51:59.280 --> 00:52:00.880
Wait, it's some crazy times.
00:52:00.960 --> 00:52:02.639
Hey, crazy times.
00:52:04.880 --> 00:52:07.280
Don't sit here and just throw it up on the middle like you're gonna be able to do it.
00:52:07.519 --> 00:52:13.360
But I'm saying, but I'm saying I date men, so I can't I'm really that's what my point of reference is.
00:52:13.440 --> 00:52:15.039
So that's why I put that disclaimer to the girls.
00:52:15.199 --> 00:52:23.760
Like, listen, honey, I'm I'm with y'all when y'all right because I'm out here experiencing it, but I can still sit back and speak about it objectively.
00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:27.840
So, can you can you give me your craziest date story?
00:52:28.079 --> 00:52:32.880
My craziest date story, and that and now and I'll kick it off the suit now for you.
00:52:33.119 --> 00:52:36.159
The craziest date story to me is when I not showing up to me.
00:52:36.239 --> 00:52:39.760
That's wild, not showing up for me, but that's neither here nor there.
00:52:40.079 --> 00:52:44.480
Okay, okay, you say it's right, okay, sis.
00:52:44.880 --> 00:52:48.320
You just you hear me, but me?
00:52:48.719 --> 00:52:50.239
I personally think that I'm wrong.
00:52:50.320 --> 00:52:53.039
I personally think I'm wrong, I even feel the same way.
00:52:54.400 --> 00:53:09.440
Yeah, I personally think I'm wrong, but like not even just like aesthetically, like I feel like like I look good, like and all that aside, I'm a good person, like, and I feel like I'm for I'm not a pursuer, first of all.
00:53:09.840 --> 00:53:14.559
And most men, all of the men who get pursued.
00:53:15.840 --> 00:53:16.159
Oh, yes.
00:53:16.559 --> 00:53:22.800
No, I'm saying that like that how that even took place, like you pursued me, baby.
00:53:23.599 --> 00:53:27.039
Yeah, I walked in the room man in my business, and then you didn't show up.
00:53:27.440 --> 00:53:27.840
What's happening?
00:53:29.519 --> 00:53:43.920
You tweaked what you didn't even have to I mean, pursue me like was that for weeks before I sometimes we just be showing and then you but sometime we just be stroking our ego like let me see if I can get her.
00:53:44.159 --> 00:53:45.440
Can I get this jump out?
00:53:47.519 --> 00:53:49.920
It ain't wow, it's not, and I'm gonna tell you why.
00:53:50.159 --> 00:53:51.679
It be so hold on, Jay.
00:53:52.000 --> 00:53:55.199
You hop in after this, it be circumstantial though.
00:53:55.280 --> 00:54:00.000
Like sometimes, look, I swear to god, real story, real story before I was made.
00:54:01.039 --> 00:54:04.000
So I had this um this this chick, right?
00:54:04.079 --> 00:54:06.639
Well, we went, we was like friends, friends, friends.
00:54:06.960 --> 00:54:08.800
So we was cool.
00:54:09.519 --> 00:54:14.800
So it was like one time she came out with me and my homie them for my birthday, right?
00:54:14.960 --> 00:54:16.719
And so, like I said, we was friends.
00:54:16.800 --> 00:54:18.320
I didn't like I'm a gentleman.
00:54:18.480 --> 00:54:21.840
If I invite a woman out like on a date, I'm gonna pay for her.
00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:29.360
But I had just lost my grandfather too, so my mind was like warped, but she held me to the standard, like, bro, you didn't even pay for my meal.
00:54:29.440 --> 00:54:33.360
But we were supposed to make a long story short, we were supposed to go on a date.
00:54:33.760 --> 00:54:39.519
I had I had my time got missed to school because I had to drop my grandma off, my rest of his grandma.
00:54:39.679 --> 00:54:43.119
She loved to get her hair dead, like my grandma stayed where she did.
00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:44.559
I had to drop off at the beauty.
00:54:45.519 --> 00:54:47.280
This guy is something else, bro.
00:54:47.760 --> 00:54:52.960
She thought I was lying, like she was just over like, she really thought I was lying.
00:54:53.039 --> 00:54:58.719
Like, I'm like, I'm sorry I ran back on time, had to drop my grandma off at the beetition, and I gotta pick up.
00:54:58.880 --> 00:55:00.159
She really thought I was lying.
00:55:00.239 --> 00:55:07.760
So sometimes niggas really do be having other shit to do, so it ain't like they stealed you up on surreal, but they'll put you in a box.
00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:09.760
No, he stood me up on some goofy shit.
00:55:09.840 --> 00:55:11.519
He his was pure ego.
00:55:11.679 --> 00:55:17.599
Um, because he had a girl, he had a girl, and then, like, apparently stupid.
00:55:17.840 --> 00:55:20.480
He started this is what he told me afterwards.
00:55:20.559 --> 00:55:24.559
Apparently, he started feeling like silly, like, no, I don't want to do this, blah blah blah.
00:55:24.719 --> 00:55:26.880
And I'm broke, fine.
00:55:27.280 --> 00:55:28.000
I'm fine.
00:55:29.280 --> 00:55:30.480
He knew he had a girl.
00:55:30.639 --> 00:55:31.280
No, no, no.
00:55:31.360 --> 00:55:34.320
He that's what he was experiencing.
00:55:34.559 --> 00:55:36.320
He started feeling like remorse.
00:55:37.039 --> 00:55:37.679
That was the story.
00:55:38.400 --> 00:55:39.280
Yeah, he lame as hell.
00:55:39.360 --> 00:55:40.559
He was yeah, he was goofy.
00:55:40.719 --> 00:55:43.519
A goofy to me, that was the other week.
00:55:44.400 --> 00:55:47.599
Yeah, how you gonna feel remorse after you shut?
00:55:48.079 --> 00:55:49.599
You done cheated already, nigga.
00:55:52.960 --> 00:55:53.679
I'm being real.
00:55:53.840 --> 00:55:56.079
If I cheat, I might as well clap cheeks, bro.
00:55:56.800 --> 00:55:58.800
Bro, you might know different to the cheating.
00:55:58.960 --> 00:56:00.239
Hey, mighty shot the chat.
00:56:00.320 --> 00:56:02.960
I'm covering some damage.
00:56:03.119 --> 00:56:15.039
Like, I don't, I will not, I I do appreciate that he held himself accountable because I'm not interested in being a part of that, but is it come on, man?
00:56:15.360 --> 00:56:17.920
You get your ass up out of here.
00:56:18.079 --> 00:56:19.039
That's how I felt.
00:56:19.280 --> 00:56:20.480
So is it true?
00:56:20.719 --> 00:56:23.360
So, this is the ruddy narrative of woman.
00:56:23.679 --> 00:56:29.119
Is it true that women be like, Oh, I would have respected it more if you kept it on it.
00:56:29.199 --> 00:56:29.760
You know what I mean?
00:56:33.840 --> 00:56:38.079
Yeah, stop the capney, a decision.
00:56:38.159 --> 00:56:38.719
No, no, no.
00:56:38.880 --> 00:56:41.039
I'm not saying that I'm okay.
00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:44.639
Perfect example, perfect example.
00:56:44.880 --> 00:56:46.480
This recently happened to me.
00:56:46.639 --> 00:56:48.559
This fine ass uh man, right?
00:56:48.719 --> 00:56:51.119
He was a police officer, so that's all I say.
00:56:51.679 --> 00:56:54.320
Um, he was a police officer, fine, fine and see.
00:56:54.639 --> 00:56:57.599
I'm looking at him, he was doing uh security at a Walgreens.
00:56:57.840 --> 00:57:00.719
Oh damn, he looked cute.
00:57:00.960 --> 00:57:08.320
Um, so when I walked out, I told him I said you handsome, and then I went and sat in the car, blah blah blah, you know, like then my actually said that's queen action.
00:57:09.840 --> 00:57:10.800
Yeah, that nigga smiled.
00:57:12.320 --> 00:57:12.800
You handsome.
00:57:12.880 --> 00:57:22.800
I looked at him in his face and I said, Oh shit, and you differ, you Chicago girl because I know that sometimes men are nervous, you know what I'm saying?
00:57:22.880 --> 00:57:26.079
And he was at work, you don't know what we can say to women no more.
00:57:26.320 --> 00:57:30.639
Oh what we don't know what we can say to women no more, and I'm telling you, exactly, exactly.
00:57:30.880 --> 00:57:35.920
I'm telling you there's some guys that I know, and I know that, and he was at work, you know what I'm saying?
00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:39.519
Like on duty, so you know, I just told him I said, You can't summon.
00:57:39.679 --> 00:57:42.239
I just walked out and I went and sat in the car and I waited.
00:57:42.320 --> 00:57:46.639
I knew that he was gonna do what measures do gonna follow me.
00:57:46.719 --> 00:57:53.760
So hey, you know what niggas go, he was gonna do what niggas do, he was gonna put the bait out, right?
00:57:55.119 --> 00:58:05.599
Especially if you got a little cheat, because that's the first thing about and do, and do so I put a little bait out, you know, and I was I was a niche that day, I was just outside that day, yeah.
00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:24.239
So um, hey, and um so long story short, we talked for a good 48 hours because um he decided that because he was feeling the conversation so much, he he felt inclined to be honest with me because I asked him the 48 hours.
00:58:24.800 --> 00:58:32.880
I'm saying we only talk for like two days, we was we FaceTime, like we talked or whatever.
00:58:32.960 --> 00:58:42.719
We were like planning to like link or whatever that weekend because I think it was not like early in the day, early in the week that we like seen one another or some shit like that.
00:58:42.960 --> 00:58:46.719
Um, and so so is that new date tactics FaceTime?
00:58:47.199 --> 00:58:48.719
Because I'm an old nigga now.
00:58:48.880 --> 00:58:50.800
No, no, no, I didn't count that as no dates.
00:58:51.119 --> 00:58:59.119
I'm like, like you know what I'm saying, like yeah, I'm saying, like, are we starting off FaceTime now?
00:58:59.199 --> 00:59:00.400
Like, is that the new thing?
00:59:00.559 --> 00:59:04.639
Like, yeah, guys wanting to FaceTime, they'd be wanting to see your face or whatever.
00:59:05.519 --> 00:59:12.159
Okay, um, and so you know, we were just like talking, and I just asked him because the conversation was progressing, it was good.
00:59:12.239 --> 00:59:13.920
I'm like, Oh, like this is cool.
00:59:14.079 --> 00:59:19.280
Like, I don't actually get excited, you know, a lot of times, like being a really exciting.
00:59:19.760 --> 00:59:23.039
Um, and so I'm like, okay, so I asked him, like, is he single?
00:59:23.119 --> 00:59:24.159
And he like, what you mean?
00:59:24.320 --> 00:59:27.360
Single, single, um single single.
00:59:27.599 --> 00:59:32.639
Can somebody I said call somebody a woman, or do somebody think that they a woman?
00:59:32.800 --> 00:59:33.119
Exactly.
00:59:33.840 --> 00:59:34.960
Do you live by a woman?
00:59:35.360 --> 00:59:37.679
Come on, G, like, are you single or not?
00:59:37.840 --> 00:59:39.280
Like, exactly.
00:59:40.159 --> 00:59:44.000
And he was like at first, he said it was complicated.
00:59:44.159 --> 00:59:51.920
First, he said it was complicated, and so my thing is I know that complications look different.
00:59:52.400 --> 00:59:54.079
We just it is what it is.
00:59:54.159 --> 00:59:55.039
So I'm all right, cool.
00:59:55.119 --> 00:59:55.840
What's complicated?
00:59:56.000 --> 01:00:00.320
Long story short, complicated is he ain't ain't shit complicated about it.
01:00:00.559 --> 01:00:07.440
He has a woman that he's been with, and he only decided that he wanted to come outside because he saw me.
01:00:13.360 --> 01:00:14.559
Get out of here, get out of here.
01:00:16.079 --> 01:00:19.199
I'm gonna say what's my day, baby.
01:00:19.519 --> 01:00:22.000
I'm gonna say what most men are scared to say.
01:00:23.519 --> 01:00:27.360
No man in the world wants to be monogamous.
01:00:27.440 --> 01:00:29.760
That shit is like that shit, whack, Joe.
01:00:29.920 --> 01:00:31.920
No man in the world wanna be there.
01:00:32.159 --> 01:00:35.039
You face they not gonna say it.
01:00:35.119 --> 01:00:36.559
I'm gonna say it in a disagree.
01:00:36.639 --> 01:00:37.280
I disagree.
01:00:37.360 --> 01:00:38.159
It's a choice.
01:00:38.400 --> 01:00:43.599
Don't let that fool that monogamy is a choice.
01:00:44.480 --> 01:00:51.599
The reason why monogamy is a choice is because more women are okay with polygamy if motherfuckers would just say what the fuck they're talking about.
01:00:51.920 --> 01:00:59.599
What right if you if you just keep it a buck, more women will be all right with polygamy if you got what it takes to be a polygamist.
01:00:59.760 --> 01:01:00.480
That's right.
01:01:00.559 --> 01:01:02.079
That's so everybody ain't fit.
01:01:02.239 --> 01:01:03.840
Most guys are fit for monogamy.
01:01:05.039 --> 01:01:06.880
You can't fit for monogamy.
01:01:07.440 --> 01:01:10.000
I mean, but most guys ain't fit for polygamy either.
01:01:10.159 --> 01:01:12.960
They don't know how to be polygamous, they don't got what it takes to be polygamist.
01:01:13.039 --> 01:01:19.199
Because at the end of the day, if you're trying to do that, and this one we're talking about the money, that'd be niggas don't be having the money that they be talking about.
01:01:19.360 --> 01:01:20.480
You talking, talking now.
01:01:21.519 --> 01:01:24.880
If you finna have more than one female, I almost said something.
01:01:25.039 --> 01:01:31.760
Uh, if you finna have more than one woman, what you what you what you what you got, what are you bringing to the table?
01:01:32.400 --> 01:01:33.760
Right, because niggas putting up a flight.
01:01:34.239 --> 01:01:37.360
My thing is I'm selfish, I'm not a polygamist, I'm not into it.
01:01:37.519 --> 01:01:39.519
I am a dater when I'm single, I'm dating.
01:01:41.119 --> 01:01:46.800
When but when I'm in a relationship, I am a monogamous person in the relationship, but that's because I choose that.
01:01:46.960 --> 01:01:47.679
That's a choice.
01:01:47.760 --> 01:01:50.400
I don't that's women, most men ain't though.
01:01:50.639 --> 01:01:51.920
Wait, what'd you say, Jay?
01:01:52.000 --> 01:01:57.519
Most women, what most men ain't what most women want to be monogamous, most men don't.
01:01:57.679 --> 01:01:58.800
I beg to differ.
01:01:58.960 --> 01:02:01.280
I don't think that most women want to be monogamous.
01:02:01.360 --> 01:02:08.880
I think that most women they choose monogamy, and there it's a little bit more of conditioning in that way, but I don't think most women want to be monogamous.
01:02:09.039 --> 01:02:15.360
Actually, there are a lot of conversations um where women are they would like to be polygamy.
01:02:15.519 --> 01:02:20.159
They that's yeah, I I maybe I should have said it differently.
01:02:20.559 --> 01:02:25.199
I said niggas be ego drunk, niggas don't even be having a they current situation.
01:02:25.360 --> 01:02:28.000
I'm saying, like, so me, I'm gonna be fair.
01:02:28.159 --> 01:02:36.719
Like I said, I'm a man, I salute like I'm standing with the brothers a hundred percent, but I'm gonna call bullshit where I see bullshit.
01:02:37.199 --> 01:02:39.440
It's a lot of niggas that bro.
01:02:39.519 --> 01:02:42.719
You ain't even holding the first one down, so why you want another one?
01:02:43.199 --> 01:02:45.440
Like, but you know what it is.
01:02:45.519 --> 01:02:46.960
Let's keep it a thousand, bro.
01:02:47.280 --> 01:02:55.199
If you want to just say you want to other women, that's let's also just say that erect wanna do so.
01:02:55.360 --> 01:02:59.119
These niggas be trying to fuck multiple bitches, and they can't fuck one bit.
01:03:06.880 --> 01:03:17.039
Hey, brother, since you're gonna say trying to get on y'all for the for the brothers who got you just saying you ain't gotta go get you no Viagra, go get you some macaroot, bro.
01:03:17.119 --> 01:03:17.920
I just put y'all on.
01:03:18.159 --> 01:03:19.519
Macaroot is it, that's the one.
01:03:21.119 --> 01:03:23.840
Water, drink some water, water don't fix that.
01:03:23.920 --> 01:03:31.119
It's hey niche, no matter how old, no matter how old you get, and how much water you drink, your testosterone level after 30 starts to drop.
01:03:31.199 --> 01:03:34.800
You know how to I'm not, I'm I know it's not water for real, but I'm just saying, like, I'm getting away.
01:03:36.320 --> 01:03:37.920
But that do got a lot to do with it, though.
01:03:38.000 --> 01:03:39.360
A lot of niggas do not drink water.
01:03:39.519 --> 01:03:41.760
Right now, you need to put them damn drugs down.
01:03:41.920 --> 01:03:46.480
Put the drugs down, you ain't lied, just can't let you be right.
01:03:46.639 --> 01:03:47.599
Put the ego down.
01:03:50.400 --> 01:03:52.239
Come here and take over our shit.
01:03:52.480 --> 01:03:53.199
Right, right.
01:03:53.440 --> 01:03:55.679
I'm an I'm I'm honored to be a guest.
01:03:55.840 --> 01:03:57.440
Hey, no, that's a fact.
01:03:58.719 --> 01:04:01.280
Hey, niggas need to focus on master one, master one.
01:04:03.119 --> 01:04:03.760
That's all I'm saying.
01:04:03.920 --> 01:04:07.360
You can just one, then maybe you could please two.
01:04:07.440 --> 01:04:13.679
Yeah, maybe you could, because I know I know I know a guy that does it well.
01:04:14.960 --> 01:04:17.360
Yeah, it works.
01:04:18.000 --> 01:04:20.880
Brother, and she's talking about you if you know who you are.
01:04:21.440 --> 01:04:22.320
You know who you are.
01:04:22.400 --> 01:04:22.800
That's wrong.
01:04:22.960 --> 01:04:26.000
That's my uh voice, brother.
01:04:27.519 --> 01:04:28.239
I know you, brother.
01:04:28.559 --> 01:04:29.360
Damn it, brother.
01:04:29.519 --> 01:04:30.960
Hey, I mean it work.
01:04:31.199 --> 01:04:32.639
I seen the interview, right?
01:04:32.719 --> 01:04:35.360
With uh Mike Rashid and uh 19 Keys.
01:04:35.679 --> 01:04:39.840
Um man, they opened my mind to it, and he said something, right?
01:04:39.920 --> 01:04:44.079
He was like, uh, broke, broke put it in a real a real smooth manner.
01:04:44.239 --> 01:04:53.119
Mike Rasheed was like, you know, I want to experience different women, but he was like, it's also a responsibility that comes with that, you know.
01:04:53.199 --> 01:05:04.480
I mean, you gotta be able to hold, you know, you gotta be able to make this woman feel secure and allow you to do that and still feel within her queen vibe, you know.
01:05:04.559 --> 01:05:10.480
I mean, and that takes that takes judgment, you know, you gotta be equipped to do that.
01:05:10.559 --> 01:05:22.960
I think a lot of niggas just be ego drunk and just say you just like you don't gotta just say you some old ass, like that's or just say you want to have a threesome, just say I really want to throw that three woman, you know.
01:05:23.039 --> 01:05:25.360
I mean, that's all you feel like niggas really want, bro.
01:05:25.440 --> 01:05:27.440
You don't want a whole nother wife, bro.
01:05:27.679 --> 01:05:28.239
No, bro.
01:05:28.400 --> 01:05:30.239
You went one chick and she ain't happy.
01:05:30.320 --> 01:05:31.519
How the fuck you want two now?
01:05:31.679 --> 01:05:32.239
You know what I'm saying?
01:05:32.480 --> 01:05:34.320
Like make that make sense.
01:05:35.280 --> 01:05:39.920
It don't make sense, like and again, erectile this margin.
01:05:40.400 --> 01:05:43.360
So I don't that's wow, that's a low blow.
01:05:44.639 --> 01:05:50.079
You can't first of all, you can't be one uh you can't be one the second one if you struggling with that.
01:05:50.239 --> 01:05:53.920
I'm gonna the streets, that's what the streets are saying, okay.
01:05:54.480 --> 01:05:59.760
Oh I ain't never going on you, Joe.
01:06:00.079 --> 01:06:01.360
I hear that that's a desire.
01:06:01.599 --> 01:06:04.639
I hear that that's a desire, and that's fine, but ultimately it's a choice.
01:06:04.800 --> 01:06:07.679
And you chose to be in a relationship, in a monogamous relationship.
01:06:07.840 --> 01:06:18.159
Because regardless, regardless of what the girl wanted and what you decided that you wanted to do, you still made a choice because you could have got with a woman that was okay with me.
01:06:18.320 --> 01:06:19.599
It's always a choice.
01:06:22.320 --> 01:06:40.800
What you're talking about, you could say that all your testosterone is making you want to get um a little bit more that's a good argument, a little bit more uh pussy than uh what I'm giving what I'm giving out, but I can say the same thing because I full well see a man and be like, Damn, I yeah, because y'all be capping.
01:06:40.880 --> 01:06:41.599
I ain't gonna lie.
01:06:41.679 --> 01:06:45.360
You I'm glad you just said that because a lot of y'all women be capping big time.
01:06:45.440 --> 01:06:46.639
Talk about a lot of capping.
01:06:46.800 --> 01:06:47.920
I'll be peeping niggas.
01:06:48.079 --> 01:06:48.800
Yes, y'all do.
01:06:48.880 --> 01:06:51.199
Y'all be on y'all be more horny than niggas do.
01:06:53.679 --> 01:06:57.920
I every person I've had sex with, I knew it was a a choice.
01:06:58.079 --> 01:07:01.599
They're a human being, they human you know when niggas you all know.
01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:04.400
We say delusional, niggas are delusional.
01:07:04.559 --> 01:07:07.599
Women aren't human beings, just like we are fucking human beings.
01:07:07.679 --> 01:07:09.760
Of course, they want to have sex, yeah.
01:07:09.920 --> 01:07:18.000
That's what niggas be tweaking, like niggas be thinking that they don't want to have sex, like that's they be they be acting like it and withholding it.
01:07:18.320 --> 01:07:19.440
Y'all hold that shit.
01:07:19.599 --> 01:07:29.599
I almost said something that just said I almost said hey.
01:07:29.679 --> 01:07:32.239
If you don't want to say it, text it to me, I'll say it for you.
01:07:32.320 --> 01:07:34.239
That means she wants you to take it.
01:07:38.559 --> 01:07:40.480
You ain't being aggressive enough.
01:07:46.000 --> 01:07:49.760
I don't want to stop the like the uh, but that can be triggering.
01:07:49.920 --> 01:07:53.360
So saying take it, like I cannot not be conscious about that.
01:07:55.920 --> 01:07:58.719
Um so there's that.
01:07:59.280 --> 01:08:10.719
However, I would say that it's not it's not even that, it's more so like what's the what's the energy like?
01:08:10.800 --> 01:08:27.520
Like what you're doing, like what makes you what makes me want to have sex with you because that's like a very vulnerable space, and not even vulnerable from uh my thing is for both parties it should be vulnerable for both parties, it's very intimate, and so it's like why do you deserve to get this?
01:08:27.680 --> 01:08:46.479
And when we think when we hear deserve, like we always think about like what you did for me, like you know, no, I'm not talking about that, like, but sometimes men don't even be doing like here's the thing if if we meet, we outside, we babbing or whatever, and then we end up deciding that we finna have sex, that's one thing.
01:08:46.640 --> 01:08:51.119
But if you call yourself coming over here trying to pursue me and we talking on the phone, we kicking it, baby.
01:08:51.199 --> 01:08:52.159
You gotta date me first.
01:08:52.239 --> 01:08:56.159
You're not I don't care about none of this talk because that went the vibe, you know what I'm saying?
01:08:56.239 --> 01:08:58.000
Like, that's not what happened.
01:08:58.239 --> 01:08:59.760
Yeah, this ain't that.
01:08:59.840 --> 01:09:01.119
So that's what it'd be like.
01:09:01.199 --> 01:09:11.039
If you gotta you do have to do something, and if and if we do get into a situation or a relationship, and now the energy is off, that makes it very uncomfortable to have sex.
01:09:11.199 --> 01:09:31.600
So, what you're gonna do to get this energy together now, you're gonna get some little ass or not to get some like to get a little bit of it, and it's okay, and that's a and a I'm just not the ego has a place, but I feel like in relationships, and especially in sex, it don't have a place.
01:09:31.680 --> 01:09:32.720
Like, come on.
01:09:33.119 --> 01:09:35.359
So I want man, great points.
01:09:35.439 --> 01:09:36.640
I want to say one thing.
01:09:36.880 --> 01:10:00.479
Um, so with D saying that, D wasn't uh meaning that like as a physically just as a pre no, I'm just saying no, I just want to break this down because my conversations with women, you know, and men, we are kind of naive to this standpoint because we haven't been in these situations, yeah.
01:10:01.199 --> 01:10:03.680
It is some trash ass men out here, bro.
01:10:03.840 --> 01:10:04.720
Stop down on us, bro.
01:10:04.880 --> 01:10:05.760
No, no, hold on, bro.
01:10:05.840 --> 01:10:07.199
Uh, serious topics, bro.
01:10:07.439 --> 01:10:09.279
It's some sick men we already got female.
01:10:09.600 --> 01:10:10.800
No, no, no, no, bro.
01:10:10.880 --> 01:10:14.239
It's I'm saying it's some sick men that take advantage of women.
01:10:14.479 --> 01:10:17.920
We all know when a woman doesn't want to have sex, bro.
01:10:18.079 --> 01:10:19.760
Right, like that's what I'm saying.
01:10:19.840 --> 01:10:28.000
Like, women actually do get raped, and women actually do not report a lot of these sick ass niggas.
01:10:28.239 --> 01:10:36.319
So I just want to be very clear on we stand on the side of real men, we stand with women.
01:10:36.479 --> 01:10:39.680
You know, we did we we stand on the side of nigga.
01:10:39.840 --> 01:10:42.319
If you raped a woman, you deserve to die.
01:10:42.479 --> 01:10:45.119
We don't tolerate that women rape men too.
01:10:45.279 --> 01:10:47.680
Stop let me get this point off though.
01:10:47.840 --> 01:10:50.079
Let me get this point off, and then we'll get to that, Dre.
01:10:50.640 --> 01:10:55.760
Because I hey if we go play it, play it both sides because niggas getting raped just as much as women.
01:10:56.159 --> 01:11:00.880
Okay, now expand not just as much, expand since you want to be that loud.
01:11:01.119 --> 01:11:02.800
Hold on, so hold on, wait.
01:11:03.039 --> 01:11:05.199
Cardi B just had a whole what's his name?
01:11:05.279 --> 01:11:08.239
A whole so hold on, don't say Cardi B bro.
01:11:08.800 --> 01:11:09.760
How how not?
01:11:09.920 --> 01:11:17.199
Don't say Cardi was talking about how she was drugging niggas' drinks and and and trying to and taking niggas money.
01:11:17.359 --> 01:11:22.720
It it it is a understanding the language, so you said just as much.
01:11:22.880 --> 01:11:26.720
That is false, just as much.
01:11:28.159 --> 01:11:31.039
Men don't report what I know it gotta be a battle though, Dre.
01:11:31.680 --> 01:11:57.359
It's not a battle, it's not about no, all I'm saying is a lot of people tend to just defend a woman, and I'm not saying not to defend a woman, but what I'm saying is a lot of men don't report what goes on due to the fact that due to the fact that when it when it comes down to it, if you go to the police and be like, bro, I was sitting there at the bar, this bitch she drugged me, she fucked the shit out of me.
01:11:57.600 --> 01:12:03.920
Cops gonna be ah, look at this nigga, this nigga gay, ah you're gonna get laughed at, bro.
01:12:04.079 --> 01:12:15.359
You're gonna get laughed out of the fucking hood, but whole time you may not even have wanted to have sex with this woman, Joe, but she took advantage of you, and this goes on a lot, it just does not get spoken about.
01:12:16.079 --> 01:12:19.279
Yes, it on both on both ends, it doesn't get reported.
01:12:19.520 --> 01:12:30.159
I'm not taking nothing away from the women, I know the women get get it done because I know plenty of women that it it has happened too, so I'm not saying that it don't happen, but a lot of men just don't report it.
01:12:30.399 --> 01:12:36.880
But look, it it could have been a kind of but what I'm saying, let me let me be clear like what I want to stop.
01:12:36.960 --> 01:12:46.399
Uh what I what I would like society to stop doing that it always has to be a battle, like two things can coexist, like we're on a planet, you know.
01:12:46.479 --> 01:12:50.640
I mean, it doesn't always have to be a battle between man and woman.
01:12:50.720 --> 01:13:01.279
That's what that's like I want to be clear about that, and I agree with you, Drake, because I feel like when we talk about that aspect, it's like when we speak on domestic violence, men deal with domestic violence.
01:13:01.439 --> 01:13:16.159
I know someone whose brother was killed by his girlfriend, you know, like domestic violence happens on both sides, but I feel like we don't have to battle, like, I don't want to take nothing from the woman, and I don't want to take nothing from the man that's been through that.
01:13:16.239 --> 01:13:22.880
You know, I've never been through the situation where I've been taken advantage of as a you know, like a woman raped me.
01:13:23.119 --> 01:13:31.439
I mean, if if if I had to tell a story, it'd be like in grammar school where it was like you got the chicks that was over aggressive trying to touch your dick or something like that.
01:13:31.520 --> 01:13:35.439
Like, right, but you know, thinking back, I can laugh about this.
01:13:35.600 --> 01:13:42.479
You laughing about it, but what's honestly, what's the difference between you doing that, her doing that, and you grabbing her?
01:13:43.119 --> 01:13:46.319
No, there is no difference, there's no difference the same.
01:13:46.960 --> 01:13:47.760
There is no big difference.
01:13:48.000 --> 01:13:49.039
I laugh and I'm laughing.
01:13:49.600 --> 01:13:50.560
See, y'all just cap.
01:13:50.800 --> 01:13:52.079
See, I'm gonna stop y'all.
01:13:52.159 --> 01:13:53.119
All y'all just cap.
01:13:53.359 --> 01:13:54.880
I'm gonna tell you what the difference is.
01:13:55.039 --> 01:13:56.720
The boys like it.
01:13:56.880 --> 01:13:57.600
That's the difference.
01:13:57.920 --> 01:14:00.560
At the time I didn't know, like I really weren't doing that.
01:14:00.640 --> 01:14:02.159
I just didn't chill, right?
01:14:02.720 --> 01:14:04.960
At the time, I didn't, you know, I wasn't ready.
01:14:07.199 --> 01:14:08.800
Because he was a boy, yeah.
01:14:08.880 --> 01:14:09.680
I was a young boy.
01:14:10.479 --> 01:14:11.680
I wasn't ready for it, bro.
01:14:11.920 --> 01:14:13.359
I forgot we had this conversation.
01:14:13.680 --> 01:14:16.239
They need to gotta give consent, so you can actually come to me.
01:14:16.399 --> 01:14:20.319
I'm gonna say I was a perv as a key, and I ain't gonna flick and dray like the guy was ready.
01:14:21.359 --> 01:14:22.239
You heard what I just said.
01:14:22.319 --> 01:14:23.840
I would love to a perv as a key.
01:14:23.920 --> 01:14:25.680
I would walk that's the thing.
01:14:25.760 --> 01:14:26.960
I was gonna say something too.
01:14:27.119 --> 01:14:31.279
But you had said something earlier that you know that ain't my thing.
01:14:31.600 --> 01:14:35.600
What no, I ain't gonna say it on the uh when we start recording.
01:14:36.880 --> 01:14:40.640
Okay, but yeah, but no, I I just don't want us taking.
01:14:40.960 --> 01:14:43.840
I think too many times we battling, man.
01:14:43.920 --> 01:14:46.319
The woman needs the man, the man needs the woman.
01:14:46.399 --> 01:14:49.520
I think like it's too much battling, you know.
01:14:49.600 --> 01:14:51.119
I just want that to stop.
01:14:51.279 --> 01:15:02.000
Like, I think it's a miss miscommunication between the man and the woman because you have a lot of miscommunication, but new conversations need to be had, you know.
01:15:02.159 --> 01:15:06.399
Like, I would love like my best friend at the time was a um woman, uh Beverly.
01:15:06.880 --> 01:15:07.600
You know, Beverly.
01:15:08.800 --> 01:15:19.279
Like um, you know, I I would love for these conversations to be had, like, because it's a misconmiscu, it's a huge, it's a lot of miscommunications, you know.
01:15:19.359 --> 01:15:30.960
Like, and it don't have to be like, okay, if we don't want to be in a community relationship, we don't gotta be like, you know, or if you want to go see with this person, go sleep with them, man or woman.
01:15:31.039 --> 01:15:36.880
Like, if you want to like, bro, why do we gotta be like, oh, I can't trust these bitches, or oh, niggas ain't shit.
01:15:37.119 --> 01:15:38.159
Oh, you know what I mean?
01:15:38.319 --> 01:15:39.680
Like, why we gotta be like that?
01:15:39.760 --> 01:15:41.680
I think it's different types of people.
01:15:41.760 --> 01:15:48.319
Some people want to get married, some people want to be single, like why we all can't coexist without bashing.
01:15:48.880 --> 01:15:52.960
Yeah, I think that that's like how I feel is that I feel the same way.
01:15:53.039 --> 01:15:58.479
Like, it's somebody for everybody, it's somebody that wants to do what you want to do, it's somebody that agrees with what you agree with.
01:15:58.560 --> 01:15:59.680
So just find that person.
01:15:59.760 --> 01:16:06.239
You don't gotta play, you don't gotta manipulate, you don't gotta it's hard to find somebody for everybody when women ain't on the same page with most men.
01:16:06.479 --> 01:16:08.319
I'm just calling it like it is.
01:16:12.000 --> 01:16:21.760
So again, I think that that just goes back to um what Marcus was saying, like you it's just a miscommunication.
01:16:21.920 --> 01:16:29.840
I feel like if more people would just talk about it, if they would just say it outside of ego, like because again, people be like people people be fronting.
01:16:31.359 --> 01:16:37.279
They even in even in conversations like it's a it'd be a battle, like you come in, you're trying to battle already.
01:16:37.359 --> 01:16:40.640
Like I we just met and you trying to battle, and women do it a lot.
01:16:40.800 --> 01:16:43.760
Women have a defense up a lot, you know.
01:16:45.520 --> 01:16:55.840
Yeah, but have a defense, and so you you come in with a defense, so you're not you cannot, it's very hard to communicate when you're defensive, right?
01:16:56.399 --> 01:16:58.640
That's facts can't communicate being defensive.
01:16:58.720 --> 01:17:04.640
That's a bar communicate, you gotta have a you gotta have an open line of uh open line of communication.
01:17:05.359 --> 01:17:07.279
We gotta bring you on for a part two.
01:17:07.520 --> 01:17:13.840
We fuck around all night, hey would now that's a bar right there.
01:17:13.920 --> 01:17:18.960
You cannot be defensive and communicate, and and I'm working on that, I'm learning that, you know.
01:17:19.039 --> 01:17:25.760
Like I struggle with that, like because you are locked up, yeah.
01:17:25.840 --> 01:17:32.319
You are lock up, you're gonna hold that shit in, you're gonna get irritated, it's not gonna work, and you can't you cannot communicate that way.
01:17:32.960 --> 01:17:33.680
You can't, all right.
01:17:33.760 --> 01:17:35.119
So, can I ask you a question?
01:17:35.279 --> 01:17:37.600
And you can't, I know you can't speak for every female.
01:17:37.840 --> 01:17:38.880
We're left in Dre.
01:17:39.199 --> 01:17:40.239
You can get to us.
01:17:40.479 --> 01:17:44.159
Why is it that females are scared to it?
01:17:44.319 --> 01:17:51.119
And when I say scared, it's not like oh no, why y'all females scared to like to like uh make the first move?
01:17:51.199 --> 01:17:57.279
Why dudes gotta be the first ones to like try to put the we want we want to we want to be pleased too?
01:17:57.439 --> 01:17:58.079
You feel me?
01:17:58.159 --> 01:18:00.960
Like we want y'all to start the initiation.
01:18:01.039 --> 01:18:02.000
Why why why is that?
01:18:04.399 --> 01:18:08.800
For what that's talking about a shot or a second.
01:18:10.079 --> 01:18:13.920
I'm saying because I'm asking, like, are you talking about like shooting the shot or no no no?
01:18:14.000 --> 01:18:16.720
I'm talking about the I'm talking about the room, in the bedroom, yeah.
01:18:16.800 --> 01:18:17.520
The cootie cat.
01:18:19.279 --> 01:18:20.159
The cootie cat.
01:18:22.239 --> 01:18:25.680
Honestly, I don't know.
01:18:26.319 --> 01:18:27.279
I don't know.
01:18:27.520 --> 01:18:43.279
Um, I think that some of it is conditioning, like I think that it's just they've been like conditioned to not do it, and so they have this like thought that they don't have to, like, if he wants sex, he'll say something.
01:18:43.520 --> 01:18:49.520
Um, but I think that that comes with communication, with learning that that is actually what they need, you know what I'm saying?
01:18:49.600 --> 01:18:51.520
Like, because I didn't know that either.
01:18:52.319 --> 01:19:02.640
Okay, like I when I was in my 20s, like I had I was in a relationship where I didn't know that that was a thing, like I think women need to be coached, yeah.
01:19:03.119 --> 01:19:07.920
I don't mean but I feel like we I feel that's right.
01:19:08.000 --> 01:19:12.239
This goes back to uh we are human beings, we only know what we know.
01:19:12.479 --> 01:19:16.640
Yeah, so it's like we have to coach our women up sometime.
01:19:16.800 --> 01:19:20.399
That ain't literally, but no, my uh young trail stepped in the building.
01:19:20.560 --> 01:19:21.439
I don't know if y'all can see him.
01:19:21.760 --> 01:19:22.479
Is that trail?
01:19:22.560 --> 01:19:23.840
Yeah, it's trail as well.
01:19:24.000 --> 01:19:25.520
You're back big than a motherfucker.
01:19:26.640 --> 01:19:28.800
But no, Nisha, that's trail.
01:19:28.960 --> 01:19:29.600
What up, cuz?
01:19:29.840 --> 01:19:30.159
That's it.
01:19:30.319 --> 01:19:35.439
You know what it is, shoot, and I feel like women, you know the oh, let me cut him off real quick.
01:19:35.520 --> 01:19:37.600
Hey, don't ever try to ride me, bro.
01:19:38.159 --> 01:19:39.039
I get on your ass.
01:19:39.199 --> 01:19:41.199
You look you got back wild as hell.
01:19:41.279 --> 01:19:43.840
Hey, hey, trail.
01:19:44.239 --> 01:19:46.399
Hey trail, I'm gonna reach in this bag.
01:19:46.880 --> 01:19:49.840
I got unlimited, I got unlimited jokes, Trail.
01:19:51.119 --> 01:19:51.920
We'll get back to that.
01:19:52.079 --> 01:19:53.760
We're gonna cry that side of the five.
01:19:54.319 --> 01:20:00.399
Yeah, but no, Nisha just said something great, and you know, yeah, probably not.
01:20:00.479 --> 01:20:01.279
I don't know what they're doing.
01:20:01.359 --> 01:20:03.199
The kids and I know, but I'm sorry, y'all.
01:20:03.359 --> 01:20:10.560
Um, no, Nisha said something great, and I'm learning that through marriage, you know, like sometimes um, you know, it's men too.
01:20:10.720 --> 01:20:31.760
I feel like we had, I feel like it's men, we have a hard time communicating sometimes, you know, like, but we gotta break through those those those barriers, like, bro, we gotta let our women know what we like, you know what I mean, or we don't like, and because you know, a woman ain't gonna fucking bite they tongue, you know, a woman gonna let you know everything, some women will though, some women will.
01:20:32.000 --> 01:20:37.039
So, I mean, it's like you gotta be able to communicate what you want.
01:20:37.119 --> 01:20:40.079
A lot of people think that that's unattractive, that's just being grown.
01:20:40.399 --> 01:20:41.840
Yeah, that's being mature.
01:20:42.079 --> 01:20:46.000
Why sit back and let somebody do something or touch you the way you don't want to be touched?
01:20:46.239 --> 01:20:49.840
Like, hey, no, you can touch me right here, nigga.
01:20:49.920 --> 01:20:50.479
You know what I'm saying?
01:20:50.640 --> 01:20:54.479
Or like maybe do this first, like on both sides, right?
01:20:54.640 --> 01:20:55.279
Bro, on both sides.
01:20:55.520 --> 01:21:00.000
That's why I for the niggas out here just to get y'all a piece of game.
01:21:00.159 --> 01:21:03.199
You're supposed to do foreplay for 25 minutes before you get some ass.
01:21:03.600 --> 01:21:04.479
Oh, I got a great book.
01:21:04.640 --> 01:21:05.520
I thought it was 45.
01:21:05.600 --> 01:21:06.560
Wait, who put me on the book?
01:21:06.960 --> 01:21:07.520
25.
01:21:07.600 --> 01:21:11.119
Uh put me on the book, me, my boy D.
01:21:11.199 --> 01:21:11.600
Yeah, D.
01:21:11.760 --> 01:21:12.640
Hey, shut that book down.
01:21:12.720 --> 01:21:16.000
I just started reading 45 D'45.
01:21:16.159 --> 01:21:18.319
45 minutes from 45.
01:21:18.880 --> 01:21:26.239
Yeah, because the thing is, foreplay doesn't just look like uh like Felatio and like all of it, everything.
01:21:26.399 --> 01:21:32.640
As soon as you start initiating, yeah, it's yeah, so are we counting?
01:21:33.039 --> 01:21:34.319
You gotta warm that engine up.
01:21:35.760 --> 01:21:37.199
Here we go, here we go.
01:21:37.520 --> 01:21:40.640
Are we counting the date in the are we counting the date?
01:21:40.720 --> 01:21:45.279
The one you can okay, guys.
01:21:45.760 --> 01:21:50.159
Maybe two one track minded, you can so open it up, open it up for us.
01:21:50.239 --> 01:21:52.399
You say we one track minded, help us out.
01:21:52.640 --> 01:21:59.039
Thinking that foreplay is like literally, yeah, it's just sex sexual acts.
01:21:59.279 --> 01:22:05.439
You can be you can be rubbing my hand while we talking, or you know, whatever it is that feels good to me.
01:22:05.600 --> 01:22:17.600
Like I'm a person, if I'm a girl, if say, for example, like if my kink is uh um what they call it, I can't remember, like um, not encouragement, but like affirmations or whatever.
01:22:17.680 --> 01:22:21.680
Like if I'm a good girl type girl, like yeah, I want to hear that.
01:22:21.840 --> 01:22:29.520
You can start that at the dinner table, like start it, start having those conversations, start flirting, start doing that.
01:22:29.600 --> 01:22:33.840
All of that is a perfect way as well, and that leads up to it.
01:22:33.920 --> 01:22:40.239
So that's all of that time that's done, but then but the thing is, my dads don't be thinking about it from that perspective.
01:22:40.319 --> 01:22:45.199
They think that it's just everything that's happening in the bedroom or wherever y'all decided y'all finna do it, you know.
01:22:45.359 --> 01:22:47.039
Like, no, you need that time.
01:22:47.279 --> 01:22:48.720
We can be simple sometimes.
01:22:48.800 --> 01:22:52.960
I I I've learned that women can be more complex, hey.
01:22:53.039 --> 01:22:57.199
But um we we we definitely need Nisha on for around two.
01:22:57.439 --> 01:22:59.920
We go we're gonna rip in talk about that conversation.
01:23:00.159 --> 01:23:12.720
Nisha, we uh so we do this thing like we love we we we love to um leave the listeners with um a gym, a gym or um you know, advice or any knowledge you you got for our listeners.
01:23:13.119 --> 01:23:14.399
Hold on, before we do that, easy.
01:23:14.479 --> 01:23:15.359
I mean to cut you out.
01:23:15.439 --> 01:23:17.760
Nisha, drop your uh drop your information.
01:23:18.079 --> 01:23:20.159
Oh, yeah, that part, yeah.
01:23:20.880 --> 01:23:23.199
Any anybody that wanna sign up, you know.
01:23:23.439 --> 01:23:25.199
Yeah, y'all, y'all need some therapy.
01:23:25.359 --> 01:23:29.760
Y'all want to hear about y'all wanna y'all wanna let her hear y'all bullshit?
01:23:30.720 --> 01:23:31.600
Y'all bullshit.
01:23:33.199 --> 01:23:35.359
I do opening actually.
01:23:35.840 --> 01:23:41.600
Um but so I I am at the center of psychology and wellness.
01:23:42.399 --> 01:23:47.920
Um, it is located in Northbrook, however, I do offer both in-person and virtual.
01:23:48.479 --> 01:23:54.800
Um, and we do the practice does take a uh a number of insurance.
01:23:55.359 --> 01:24:02.880
Uh so if you are looking for me, you can also find me on Facebook, uh Lanisha Williams.
01:24:03.359 --> 01:24:08.239
Um so L-A-N as a Nancy I-C-I-A Williams.
01:24:08.640 --> 01:24:09.840
You can find me on Facebook.
01:24:09.920 --> 01:24:17.520
Um, and if you want to discuss, I am open to like answering questions from that chat, um, that messenger or whatever.
01:24:17.760 --> 01:24:22.560
But um again, I work at the Center for Psychology and Wellness.
01:24:23.039 --> 01:24:28.640
Okay, you you you might you might have you know you might have some clients coming to you very soon.
01:24:28.880 --> 01:24:29.680
And I'm with it.
01:24:29.760 --> 01:24:30.319
I'm with it.
01:24:30.399 --> 01:24:36.239
I would like to have more um more African-American clients.
01:24:36.399 --> 01:24:37.359
So okay.
01:24:37.600 --> 01:24:40.720
So before before we drop this gym, like can we get it?
01:24:40.880 --> 01:24:42.079
Can we get a starting rate?
01:24:42.159 --> 01:24:43.680
What rate starting at now?
01:24:43.920 --> 01:24:44.319
Right, right.
01:24:46.079 --> 01:24:48.319
Give us an estimate of you know it.
01:24:48.720 --> 01:24:53.439
Oh, the it's so it the practice is what gets what insurance y'all don't take.
01:24:53.680 --> 01:24:59.680
So the insurance, insurance usually bills between 180 to 200 per session.
01:24:59.920 --> 01:25:09.760
Um, however, if you do self-pay, um self-pay can be um usually about 125.
01:25:10.079 --> 01:25:17.279
Okay, but there is a slight yeah, but I mean, but that's an hour.
01:25:17.520 --> 01:25:19.920
Okay, that's all that's really bad though.
01:25:20.880 --> 01:25:24.239
I mean it I'm I'm keeping it 100 for all you niggas who listening.
01:25:24.479 --> 01:25:31.760
If you spend the three, if you spend it uh 250, something wrong with you mentally for real.
01:25:31.840 --> 01:25:33.840
You need to go jack your ass into a site board.
01:25:33.920 --> 01:25:40.800
I'm gonna go see it, JS because you you technically are seeing a therapist once a week.
01:25:40.880 --> 01:25:42.319
That's standing with her money.
01:25:42.399 --> 01:25:43.760
I'm sorry, I just with your money.
01:25:43.840 --> 01:25:44.319
Go see me.
01:25:45.039 --> 01:25:53.279
It ain't messing with my money, it's not gonna, it's not messing with mine, but I'm saying like that's just the cost of it from your end, right?
01:25:53.760 --> 01:25:55.600
I'm still gonna get mine regardless.
01:25:55.840 --> 01:26:02.880
Um, but then the that's what the rate is, so but it's insurance based, too.
01:26:02.960 --> 01:26:09.279
If you have insurance, so insurance pays for right, but then you have like to deal with like your deductibles and all that stuff with your insurance, yeah.
01:26:09.439 --> 01:26:12.079
But the health pay, hmm?
01:26:12.640 --> 01:26:14.720
Yeah, I'll take medicate.
01:26:14.880 --> 01:26:15.760
I think so.
01:26:15.920 --> 01:26:27.359
I'm not sure because I don't deal with billing, I don't have to, and that's honestly trying to get insurance, trying to get therapy with a Medicaid.
01:26:27.600 --> 01:26:31.520
So we bashing the brothers from Medicaid, bro.
01:26:31.760 --> 01:26:35.279
I'm bashing you, I can Texas nigga.
01:26:36.239 --> 01:26:38.159
So I'll tell you guys what we take.
01:26:39.279 --> 01:26:44.479
We do take uh oh, you might see me.
01:26:44.800 --> 01:26:46.720
We do take blue cross blue shield.
01:26:46.800 --> 01:26:48.560
I'm certain we take PPO.
01:26:48.640 --> 01:26:50.479
I'm not certain about HMO.
01:26:50.640 --> 01:26:54.239
We take Cygna, uh, we take Magellan, I believe.
01:26:54.399 --> 01:26:57.920
Still, we take Medicare, we don't take Medicaid.
01:26:58.319 --> 01:26:58.640
Okay.
01:26:59.039 --> 01:27:06.239
Um, we take United uh Something Healthcare.
01:27:06.479 --> 01:27:06.800
Okay.
01:27:07.119 --> 01:27:09.920
The acronym is UB UBH.
01:27:11.359 --> 01:27:14.239
Um, and then I know that we take certain ERPs.
01:27:14.479 --> 01:27:17.760
Yeah, I should be able to sign up all them damn insurances.
01:27:18.000 --> 01:27:24.960
Yeah, those are a lot that we do take a lot of different insurances, and like I said, if it's self-pay, um, it can be as low as 125.
01:27:25.039 --> 01:27:27.680
Sometimes we do do slide and scales as well.
01:27:27.920 --> 01:27:33.439
So um the lowest that I've seen with the slide and scale is probably$100 per hour.
01:27:33.680 --> 01:27:40.239
Um, but typically the standard is you start with at least uh one session a week.
01:27:40.560 --> 01:27:40.880
Okay.
01:27:42.479 --> 01:27:42.800
Okay.
01:27:42.960 --> 01:27:47.439
Um, well, we we've dropped some important information on our listeners.
01:27:47.600 --> 01:27:49.359
We're gonna bring you you all home.
01:27:49.520 --> 01:27:51.600
Um, Nisha, what um knowledge you got?
01:27:51.680 --> 01:27:53.840
What what gym of the week you got for the people?
01:27:54.239 --> 01:27:55.520
You're supposed to explain it to him.
01:27:55.680 --> 01:27:56.079
I'm sorry.
01:27:56.159 --> 01:27:57.680
I that's when I cut you off, bro.
01:27:57.760 --> 01:27:58.079
My bad.
01:27:58.319 --> 01:27:59.840
Oh, I was explaining the way you cut me off.
01:28:00.000 --> 01:28:00.880
Yeah, that was my fault.
01:28:01.600 --> 01:28:08.399
We just give uh we give the audience um just any useful, you know, advice for life, you know.
01:28:08.960 --> 01:28:18.239
It can be little or it can be, you know, you can tell motherfuckers down not to walk in dark alleys at night, but anything that helped, you know what I mean.
01:28:18.479 --> 01:28:19.119
Yeah.
01:28:19.439 --> 01:28:22.960
Um love better.
01:28:23.359 --> 01:28:25.199
That part I'll say that love better.
01:28:25.279 --> 01:28:29.520
Because I feel like a lot of things can be like as cliche as that sounds.
01:28:29.680 --> 01:28:31.439
Um I say get out of here.
01:28:31.840 --> 01:28:33.840
Yes, just love better.
01:28:34.000 --> 01:28:48.640
And if we take out uh the manipulation, if we take it out the defense, if we take out all those things and like truly accept, which is like something that you mentioned, um, that we all need each other, we do, like we're relational beings regardless.
01:28:48.960 --> 01:29:16.880
So we need one another, and if we lean into that and be okay with that, like no, like I ain't never walking around here saying that I don't need a man, like what I do, I do, I do, just like he needs me, and you know, just like she needs me, he needs you know, like we all need each other, and so like love better and learn what that looks like, like because and I and I because I understand that we all don't know how to love, right?
01:29:17.279 --> 01:29:22.000
That part learn how to love, learn how to love, try at least.
01:29:22.079 --> 01:29:25.039
It you benefit more, I think, in life.
01:29:25.199 --> 01:29:31.760
I feel like I benefit more in love than I do in the opposite of it, which you snapping, Nisha.
01:29:31.920 --> 01:29:32.800
Y'all heard Nisha.
01:29:32.960 --> 01:29:34.159
She she looking for a man.
01:29:34.319 --> 01:29:42.319
Hey, we hey we're a good man, somebody that's gonna help her get I won't say that I'm looking for a man because again, I'm not a pursuer.
01:29:43.199 --> 01:29:44.159
How old are you, Nisha?
01:29:44.479 --> 01:29:44.880
Huh?
01:29:45.039 --> 01:29:45.760
How old are you?
01:29:45.920 --> 01:29:49.359
You so yo, your time, your time getting old, baby.
01:29:49.439 --> 01:29:50.720
You ain't got that message.
01:29:51.840 --> 01:29:52.159
I love you.
01:29:52.239 --> 01:29:53.439
Hey, I love you too, Nisha.
01:29:53.520 --> 01:29:55.520
I'm just saying I'm sitting here moving.
01:29:55.680 --> 01:29:57.439
You know how to fuck you, okay?
01:30:11.600 --> 01:30:12.479
I told you I'm the case.
01:30:15.680 --> 01:30:16.880
I don't feel nobody in the bathroom.
01:30:16.960 --> 01:30:19.199
I'm not gonna be able to do it.
01:30:19.279 --> 01:30:19.840
Oh, that's it.
01:30:20.000 --> 01:30:20.960
That's all I'm saying.
01:30:21.279 --> 01:30:23.039
It always gotta be a fuck boy on the fight.
01:30:23.199 --> 01:30:29.600
Hey, you say you thirty pussy.
01:30:34.000 --> 01:30:35.359
I say I'm far from a fuck boy.
01:30:35.439 --> 01:30:36.960
I don't like boy pussy.
01:30:41.439 --> 01:30:42.720
Hey, I'm I'm just letting you know.
01:30:44.159 --> 01:30:45.039
I got some shit for you.
01:30:45.119 --> 01:30:46.960
You got some words for me, I got some funny.
01:30:47.359 --> 01:30:48.319
Okay, hey, easy.
01:30:48.479 --> 01:30:50.319
Don't don't don't end this, don't end this part.
01:30:50.560 --> 01:30:54.640
I mean, in the recording after this, but don't end with don't end this all the way, all the way through.
01:30:56.479 --> 01:31:00.239
She said she got some shit she gotta say to me when we get up off this motherfucker, though.
01:31:00.319 --> 01:31:01.359
I ain't forgot.
01:31:01.840 --> 01:31:04.479
Hey, but um D, what you got for us, Brody?
01:31:05.680 --> 01:31:08.239
Man, D he kicked you to the first person.
01:31:08.479 --> 01:31:09.279
Damn.
01:31:09.840 --> 01:31:11.840
Oh no, Dravene.
01:31:12.000 --> 01:31:13.119
Oh no, it's supposed to be Dre.
01:31:13.359 --> 01:31:14.880
Actually, I went first last week.
01:31:16.079 --> 01:31:17.039
It's so Dra D.
01:31:18.640 --> 01:31:19.680
She never said nothing.
01:31:19.920 --> 01:31:20.560
Hell yeah.
01:31:20.720 --> 01:31:21.199
That's cool.
01:31:21.279 --> 01:31:23.600
I drop I dropped my motherfucking segment.
01:31:23.840 --> 01:31:25.119
No, Drake first.
01:31:28.560 --> 01:31:31.199
Um my high headed thought of the week.
01:31:31.359 --> 01:31:37.199
Uh is maybe you're searching among the branches for what appears only in the roots.
01:31:39.199 --> 01:31:42.079
Um y'all know, hey, you know.
01:31:43.680 --> 01:31:45.199
Hey, y'all know this is my time of the shit.
01:31:46.800 --> 01:31:47.359
He learned it.
01:31:47.520 --> 01:31:49.039
Hey, I search, I wait for this.
01:31:49.600 --> 01:31:59.199
Um, but us as people, we uh we we so busy looking at people's outside structure, and this is kind of where this podcast been.
01:31:59.520 --> 01:32:03.119
Uh, we was talking about you know, putting people together.
01:32:03.359 --> 01:32:16.800
Um, everybody's so focused on the outside structure and everybody's outside appearance and everybody's outside means that they don't really look into the inside and see what type of person they actually dealing with.
01:32:17.039 --> 01:32:22.000
So um kind of and honestly, I'm glad that you said what you said, Nisha.
01:32:22.079 --> 01:32:24.159
You was like, um, love better.
01:32:24.319 --> 01:32:26.079
It's facts, love better, bro.
01:32:26.159 --> 01:32:31.199
Because we us us as people out here, we just wilding out and just moving without a purpose.
01:32:31.359 --> 01:32:38.399
So um again, maybe you searching amongst the branches for what only appears in the roots.
01:32:38.560 --> 01:32:42.479
So yeah, I love that, Jay.
01:32:42.640 --> 01:32:44.560
Oh, no, real snap.
01:32:46.319 --> 01:32:51.119
Hey, we we we we won't let D close it out, but I'm um mine for the week, bro.
01:32:51.279 --> 01:32:52.319
My gym of the week.
01:32:52.479 --> 01:32:54.560
Um, y'all gonna let D close it out.
01:32:54.640 --> 01:32:54.880
What?
01:32:54.960 --> 01:32:58.319
Yeah, I I can't let I you better break that is my boy like that.
01:32:58.399 --> 01:32:59.600
He feeling some type of way.
01:32:59.680 --> 01:33:01.760
Look, hey this hey, this is my segment, man.
01:33:01.840 --> 01:33:03.840
Y'all need to stop my name, man.
01:33:05.439 --> 01:33:07.119
It's these mindful thoughts.
01:33:07.199 --> 01:33:09.199
I'll let y'all let y'all chime in.
01:33:09.359 --> 01:33:14.159
Hey, hey, hey, then hey, the nigga had to put his own special alignment on there.
01:33:14.239 --> 01:33:16.000
Like we already did halfway.
01:33:16.079 --> 01:33:18.800
Like, you know, this is these mindful thoughts, nigga.
01:33:18.880 --> 01:33:20.720
We already had gym of the week.
01:33:21.600 --> 01:33:22.560
No, man.
01:33:22.800 --> 01:33:27.680
But no, um, I just want to say, uh, mine is um just a man is simple, right?
01:33:27.920 --> 01:33:30.000
Man is like enjoy life.
01:33:30.159 --> 01:33:34.880
You know, too many times we we get lost in our everyday routine.
01:33:34.960 --> 01:33:48.399
Like the alarm go off, you wake up, brush your teeth, wash your face, probably get in the shower, probably take a bath and go your ass to work and come home, drink, smoke, you know, come see your family, whatever you gotta do.
01:33:48.560 --> 01:33:53.279
But you know, this shit is an experience, and I I think we forget that sometimes.
01:33:53.439 --> 01:33:55.680
Like, you have to experience this shit.
01:33:55.760 --> 01:34:03.520
You don't want to wait until you find out you got a life-threatening sickness or uh somebody die for you to enjoy this shit.
01:34:03.600 --> 01:34:05.680
Like, enjoy life, you know.
01:34:05.840 --> 01:34:14.640
Like, bro, look at the sky, put your fucking phone in your pocket, look at the sky, look at the sun, you know, feel the fucking wind, look at the trees, like bro.
01:34:14.800 --> 01:34:16.159
Enjoy this life, bro.
01:34:16.239 --> 01:34:21.840
Like, this ain't like we we we we take the like the humans, we take this shit for granted.
01:34:22.000 --> 01:34:28.319
I think we do, because we'll be like, Oh, aliens, like just so fascinated.
01:34:28.399 --> 01:34:33.600
But bro, you a human being, you the the most dominant being on planet earth.
01:34:33.680 --> 01:34:35.439
Like, think about your body, bro.
01:34:35.840 --> 01:34:42.239
Your body works in together, like ever, like think how perfectly your your body is put together.
01:34:42.399 --> 01:34:49.680
Like, you got a heart, a brain, a fucking you got so many systems working, like that shit ain't normal, you know.
01:34:49.760 --> 01:34:52.000
I mean, it's not normal what we're going through.
01:34:52.159 --> 01:34:55.199
Like, love, the energy of love, that's not normal.
01:34:55.359 --> 01:35:01.439
We take the smallest for granted, and I'm gonna double it up, not to be long-winded.
01:35:01.680 --> 01:35:11.119
Take care of your baggage, don't get out of relationship and hop to another relationship knowing you ain't healed yourself yet, right?
01:35:11.279 --> 01:35:23.039
Especially my black men, like my black men, we we take it for granted, we don't realize it, but bro, bro, live with yourself for a minute, you know.
01:35:23.199 --> 01:35:27.920
Live with yourself for a minute, learn yourself first, take care of your shit.
01:35:28.079 --> 01:35:29.680
Like, women go be here, bro.
01:35:29.840 --> 01:35:32.159
Women are gonna be here, my woman, too.
01:35:32.239 --> 01:35:33.439
Men are gonna be here.
01:35:33.520 --> 01:35:36.399
Take care of your shit first, and that's it.
01:35:36.479 --> 01:35:38.720
That's man, hey, that's a fact.
01:35:38.880 --> 01:35:39.680
Self-awareness.
01:35:39.760 --> 01:35:42.720
I heard a lot of women say self-awareness is attractive, man.
01:35:45.840 --> 01:35:47.439
That's what the street's saying.
01:35:47.840 --> 01:35:49.119
That's what the street's saying.
01:35:52.000 --> 01:35:56.399
Hey, if he if he uh D for the streets, self-aware, he is seven.
01:35:58.560 --> 01:35:59.520
Hey, that's facts though.
01:36:00.479 --> 01:36:02.159
Hey, that's a good number.
01:36:02.479 --> 01:36:12.000
Hey, but my gym, my week, man, is uh for me, bro, is the grass is greener where you water it, right?
01:36:12.560 --> 01:36:18.479
So it it appears to be greener on the other side, but it's really greener where it's being watered at.
01:36:18.960 --> 01:36:32.000
And we talk about anxiety and shit, you know, with social media, self-comparison not only puts unnecessary pressure on you, but you also develop a lot of anxiety looking at other people and what they're doing.
01:36:32.560 --> 01:36:41.920
You try to put yourself in a highlight reel and you're thinking about your current life, you're not focusing on doing the work, you just want the results.
01:36:42.239 --> 01:36:51.520
So if you focus on watering your shit, pouring into yourself and working on where you want to be better at, you ain't gotta time to worry about nobody else and what they're doing.
01:36:52.800 --> 01:36:56.399
That part energy, bro.
01:36:58.159 --> 01:37:00.479
Why it always gotta be a battle?
01:37:00.800 --> 01:37:03.520
Because this nigga still fighting.
01:37:05.760 --> 01:37:08.479
Hey, hey, what do you say?
01:37:09.359 --> 01:37:10.640
I can't help it.
01:37:11.920 --> 01:37:13.359
I can't help it, Willie.
01:37:14.239 --> 01:37:15.520
I cook better than you.
01:37:18.560 --> 01:37:21.279
Well, no, man, and that's that's another one, man.
01:37:21.359 --> 01:37:24.000
We want to think we want to thank our guests for coming on.
01:37:24.239 --> 01:37:27.680
Drace, I'm gonna hold you for a second so you can find out what you said.
01:37:28.319 --> 01:37:30.800
She said she had something to tell me that she couldn't tell me online.
01:37:31.600 --> 01:37:33.039
We want to thank the listeners, man.
01:37:33.119 --> 01:37:36.399
This was a very special episode, and definitely for the Queens.
01:37:36.800 --> 01:37:38.800
We make a podcast for you too.
01:37:38.880 --> 01:37:42.159
Like they think just because it said guys, then it's only for me.
01:37:42.239 --> 01:37:46.399
And no, we make this for a this is for the god and goddesses.
01:37:46.800 --> 01:37:48.399
Yes, yes, there you go.
01:37:48.560 --> 01:37:49.039
Yes, sir.
01:37:49.199 --> 01:37:55.199
So, Nisha, we need you to throw some recommendations out to your ladies, let them know to tap in every Monday.
01:37:55.359 --> 01:37:58.399
We dropping material tap in, ladies.
01:37:58.479 --> 01:38:03.119
You guys can tap in because, like, it's not just fuck bullshit.
01:38:03.279 --> 01:38:06.159
It we are there are real conversations being had.
01:38:06.399 --> 01:38:09.600
I will talk, I do talk a little bullshit, but I got y'all.
01:38:10.000 --> 01:38:11.840
You got to, but you got to for the culture, though.
01:38:11.920 --> 01:38:12.239
You have to.
01:38:14.239 --> 01:38:17.279
That's how you know it's real, it ain't real without no bullshit.
01:38:17.520 --> 01:38:19.359
Yeah, you got to for the culture.
01:38:19.600 --> 01:38:23.439
Okay, hey, and that's another one, episode one three.