speaker-0: Welcome to Girlfriend's Guide to Cancer, in partnership with Tuman Breast Cancer Foundation. This is the conversation we wish someone had sat down and had with us when we were diagnosed. The truth is, there's a lot no one tells you about breast cancer. They tell you about treatment, but not always about the identity crisis. They tell you about survival, but not always about learning how to live again. At Diagnosis, you get a folder full of information, but you don't get a girlfriend's guide. So here, we are going to talk about all of it. The scary parts, the embarrassing parts, the frustrating parts, the funny parts, the beautiful parts. We'll hear from survivors, doctors, experts, caregivers, and women who have walked this road. Most of all, we'll talk about courage, the kind that shows up even on the hardest days. So grab a cup of coffee, pull up a chair, and let's have the conversation every woman deserves to hear. This is Girlfriend's Guide to Cancer. Welcome to Girlfriend's Guide for Cancer. We're so glad you guys are here. We wish we didn't have to have a podcast like this, but in reality, we kind of do. Chances are cancer has entered your life through friends, family, yourself even. We want you to know one thing from the very beginning. You're not alone. We're here to help.
speaker-1: Absolutely. I know. And this is kind of just what no one tells you. This isn't a medical textbook. It's not a place for perfection. It's just gonna be the real, the raw, the courageous conversations that no one tells you about. You know, we know, right? That surviving is just the beginning. So Girlfriends Guide to Cancer is just an extension of what we are both doing through Two Men Breast Cancer Foundation and where we know that the connection we provide and helping others feel less alone in their journey is just monumental in this whole deal. So I'm Natalie Tuman. I'm the founder and executive director of Tuman Breast Cancer Foundation.
speaker-0: I'm Christy White. I am also a survivor and I'm the president of the board.
speaker-1: So yeah, fun fact, both Chrissy and I are breast cancer survivors. So although this isn't a place that anyone wants to be necessarily, we're both really excited to be here with y'all. So we're just gonna introduce ourselves, kind of talk to y'all about what you can expect going forward in this podcast so that you know why we're here and why you're here. So Chrissy, tell a bit of who you are.
speaker-0: My name is Chrissy. I graduated from Texas Tech many, many years ago. It's where I met my husband. We have been living Dallas Fort Worth area. I was super excited to celebrate my 40th birthday in Mexico with 19 of my best friends and was living high on life. Came home, felt a lump in the shower, decided to go in and get it checked out. Earned myself not only a regular mammogram, but a diagnostic one and went from there. Congrats.
speaker-1: Congratulations on earning that story. Congratulations. What a badge of honor. Yeah. So that's kind of how cancer became your story. So, well, first of all, how long have you and Michael been married now? Okay,
speaker-0: Nineteen years.
speaker-1: well done, my friend. Forever. Yes. It feels like. No, it feels like just yesterday.
speaker-0: Yeah.
speaker-1: It feels like just yesterday. So what year was that?
speaker-0: Then we got married or I was like
speaker-1: that you were diagnosed. What year did you get diagnosed?
speaker-0: twenty nineteen, December second.
speaker-1: Okay. Well, on the flip side, which we're gonna go into each other's stories in way more detail down the road, but why like what made you decide on this side of your journey to serve the breast cancer community? Like what made you decide to kind of flip it around?
speaker-0: There was so much I didn't know. And when this huge diagnosis is placed in your lap, it's like a ticking time bomb. You know nothing until you know all the things and there's no in between and there's no guide to help you. There's nobody nobody can explain it. And I I looked at books and research and read the whole internet and nothing resonated with me because it's either too medically and it's not real. And you want the real, the raw, all the information. Yeah. Honestly, I attribute most of my knowledge and getting through it to you because you're my first cancer friend.
speaker-1: look at that. Look at that. Yeah, that's true. That's how we became friends. Like it's not awesome, but it's become such a blessing.
speaker-0: So and now I wanna give back. Like I want that for others. I wanna pay it forward, right? People helped me when I needed it most and now I want to help others get through it.
speaker-1: Awesome. Well, so I was diagnosed in 2018 with stage three. Same thing. Like I felt it in the shower. I felt a lump in the shower and got to earn a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound and all the fun things with a biopsy, just you know, the whole gamut. That was in 2018. I was 38. I had three kettos. My youngest had just turned a year old. So it was an interesting time for sure, you know. When I was going through it, I was just, you know, same thing. We both live in the DFW area and the community that I live in was just absolutely incredible. I mean, they came forward and it was so humbling with how they provided and cared and just loved on our family. And so I wanted to be able to give back and I didn't really know how. You know, on this side of it, this it was like this is kind of what gave me life and what made me feel like I had something to give again. Cause I've just been, you know, I was so lost. I was so lost after I finished. And I think that's one thing, you know, one thing that people don't tell you about breast cancer or any type of cancer, I'm sure. But it's like, you know, like I mentioned, like surviving is just the beginning. And on this side, you are so lost. Wouldn't you agree? Like did I mean okay.
speaker-0: Hundred percent. You're you're you see the finish line and you're making every effort to get to the finish line and that's all people want to talk about is when is your treatment over? When is your treatment over? And you you're renormal again. You're done, right? You're done, right? Cancer's over. You've you survived it. But there's so much more to it than that. And then it's like you don't have all the doctor's appointments anymore. So you feel lost. You have nothing to do really. I don't know, it's such a big part of my life. It doesn't just go away. Right.
speaker-1: Well, and too, like, and it sounds so horrible. But again, we want to be as raw as we can be and as real as we can be. And I can remember you ring the bell after chemo, but I still had radiation. So it was kind of like why am I celebrating? Like I'm not done, you know? And I know it was a big deal. And I know that that was a huge part to check off the list, but it still feels like daunting almost. Like what like a fake celebration, right?
speaker-0: Yeah, but I'm not done. Yeah. And like all your friends want to have the parties and but you're done, but you're not done. Like there's pills and appointments and tests and all the things forever. Like I'm on a pill for 10 years. Like it's not over. Right. And my body's not the same. Nothing's the same.
speaker-1: I can't wait till we get to talk about that stuff. I can't wait to talk about those things. It's gonna be good, y'all. It's gonna be good. So you know, the deal is there's incredible podcasts out there that explain like treatment and research and the medical side of things and they're so vital and important. But we wanted a place where someone could hear just yes, like again, yes, I know what you're feeling, been there, or I'm there right now, or what can I expect? And I just think it's so important. So You know, what made you feel like this podcast and this topic was something that needed to exist and was important?
speaker-0: Because obviously I'm I'm the token cancer friend, right? In my group, in my circle, I'm the token cancer friend. So everybody brings me their newly diagnosed cancer friend and they want the same thing. They want to know. Like, tell me how it is from the inside. Tell me the real things. Don't hold back. And I'm like, okay, but do you want me to hold back? Cause there's a lot. It's a lot. I'm like, so you have to tell me on a scale of one to ten, one being just the high points and ten being everything that I know. 'Cause it can be overwhelming, but that's what they want to hear. Like your doctor can give you the, you know, the what, the three ring binder that's got like five thousand pages in it of all the symptoms and things that could happen, but they want to know what really happens from somebody that lived through it. Because all these medical professionals that write these books don't live through it like we did. They don't see the day to day. They don't live with it. Well, I feel like me, if I was being diagnosed today and there was a podcast that's a girlfriend's guide to surviving breast cancer. I'd be all about it 'cause it's a cliff notes for right that tells me all the things.
speaker-1: Right. I remember when I was pregnant and there was a book and it was called Girlfriend's Guide to Expecting. And I don't know if you ever read that or know about it, but it was
speaker-0: I did.
speaker-1: so it was one of those things where it told you, like, you're gonna go home and mesh panties. Here's what you can expect. And I mean, it was like the stuff that literally your doctors don't tell you about. But your girlfriends will, you know, they'll tell you behind closed doors and when no one's listening, it's those kinds of things. And so when I was going through cancer, and especially like towards the end and once the survival part, you know, kicked in, I had connected with a girl actually out on the West Coast. She was in California and she was two weeks ahead of me in treatment. So I would kind of ask her, like, okay, well, how was this one? How was this one? And she would ask me, like, how much do you want to know? Do you want to all of it or like a little bit of it? I'm like, I want to know it. And so she would tell me things that just were mind-boggling, right? As I got through treatment and on this side of it, I wanted that guide, right? I wanted that girlfriend's guide. I want the trimesters. Like I want to know what to expect when you're diagnosed. I want to know what to expect what in treatment. I want to know what to expect, like at the end, in the survival and living there.
speaker-0: So many little things and you just wanna make sure that you're normal, right? Because there's so many symptoms. So it's like I don't want to necessarily call my doctor and be like, Hey, this is what happened. Is that okay? Like right. I don't want to be a weirdo and think that I'm over the freaking out for no reason. But at the same time, it I mean, does it all go back to cancer? Probably always does, but I don't know. But I get it. I had Megan. She was exactly a week. So we met on your Facebook page, right? Yeah. Yeah. Girlfriend's guide to fighting. Yes. So we bonded over eyelashes. And she was she's triple negative, but we had the same exact treatment plan. And we were a week apart. So like we talked about everything, especially because cancer, you don't sleep, right? You know that. Yeah. so we would stay up all night and talk about all the things. Yeah. My husband would be like, Who are you talking to? It's just my cancer friend Megan. Are you sure? Like, yes, I promise.
speaker-1: Yeah. No one wants this. I promise. You're not, you're not to worry about anything else. You're good. Yeah. I know. It's so important though. It's so important to have those connections. And I think, like, if you don't have it, if you haven't met someone that that has that, you know, still trying to find that connection. And that's what this can serve as, right? Like this can serve as that connection for people to understand like you're not alone, right? And one of the things that we talk about, and in fact, with Tuman Breast Cancer Foundation, like our word is courageous. And we're extending that over into this. And we just want people to understand like courage isn't just doing something, right? It's do it's facing something and feeling the fear anyway. That's the literal definition of it. And so facing cancer is scary, obviously. And I know we get sick of people being like, you were so strong and you're just this and that. And it's like, no, I'm really not. Like I didn't have any other choice. Like I didn't have
speaker-0: Twice.
speaker-1: yeah. Yeah. But to me, that's what courage is, right? Like you're putting one foot in front of the other. You don't want to. But you don't have another choice. And so that's courageous, right? It's not necessarily strength, but it is it is being courageous. So yeah. You know, a few things that kind of we hope that we can do on here is bring different guests on here, different interviews. and we're really excited. So, like some of the ones that we want to talk with are, you know, different therapists. We have other survivors, obviously. We have some funny stories, some difficult conversations we'll cover. I know you have a couple of guests in mind that you're already working through that we want to bring on. So it's going to be an exciting time and we can't get it rolling. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So
speaker-0: Okay, so whether you're newly diagnosed, if you're currently in treatment, if you're celebrating being in remission, or you're helping a loved one or family member that's dealing with cancer, or you're metastatic, we're grateful that you're here, first and foremost. We hope this becomes a place where you feel informed and you feel comfortable and encouraged and most importantly understood.
speaker-1: Absolutely. And just remember that courage doesn't mean you aren't afraid. It means you don't have to face it alone. And this is the moment for which you were created, y'all. So we'll see you next time on Girlfriend's Guide to Cancer. Bye.
speaker-0: Thank you for spending time with us on Girlfriend's Guide to Cancer. If today's conversation reminded you that you're not alone, then please share this episode with another woman who needs a girlfriend in her corner. And if you're looking for a way to support women beyond listening, we invite you to visit the Tumen Breast Cancer Foundation at TumanBreastCancer.org. The foundation provides real, tangible support to women and families facing breast cancer by alleviating the weight of day-to-day tasks to connection, community, and resources. Your donation helped make that support possible. Every gift, no matter the size, helps us make sure that no woman has to face breast cancer alone. Please subscribe, leave a review, and help us reach more women walking through breast cancer and life beyond it. Keep being courageous. Keep choosing hope. And remember, courage is not the absence of fear. It is choosing to move forward despite it. And this is the moment for which you were created. Can't wait to chat again next time. on Girlfriend's Guide to Cancer.
speaker-1: Absolutely. I know. And this is kind of just what no one tells you. This isn't a medical textbook. It's not a place for perfection. It's just gonna be the real, the raw, the courageous conversations that no one tells you about. You know, we know, right? That surviving is just the beginning. So Girlfriends Guide to Cancer is just an extension of what we are both doing through Two Men Breast Cancer Foundation and where we know that the connection we provide and helping others feel less alone in their journey is just monumental in this whole deal. So I'm Natalie Tuman. I'm the founder and executive director of Tuman Breast Cancer Foundation.
speaker-0: I'm Christy White. I am also a survivor and I'm the president of the board.
speaker-1: So yeah, fun fact, both Chrissy and I are breast cancer survivors. So although this isn't a place that anyone wants to be necessarily, we're both really excited to be here with y'all. So we're just gonna introduce ourselves, kind of talk to y'all about what you can expect going forward in this podcast so that you know why we're here and why you're here. So Chrissy, tell a bit of who you are.
speaker-0: My name is Chrissy. I graduated from Texas Tech many, many years ago. It's where I met my husband. We have been living Dallas Fort Worth area. I was super excited to celebrate my 40th birthday in Mexico with 19 of my best friends and was living high on life. Came home, felt a lump in the shower, decided to go in and get it checked out. Earned myself not only a regular mammogram, but a diagnostic one and went from there. Congrats.
speaker-1: Congratulations on earning that story. Congratulations. What a badge of honor. Yeah. So that's kind of how cancer became your story. So, well, first of all, how long have you and Michael been married now? Okay,
speaker-0: Nineteen years.
speaker-1: well done, my friend. Forever. Yes. It feels like. No, it feels like just yesterday.
speaker-0: Yeah.
speaker-1: It feels like just yesterday. So what year was that?
speaker-0: Then we got married or I was like
speaker-1: that you were diagnosed. What year did you get diagnosed?
speaker-0: twenty nineteen, December second.
speaker-1: Okay. Well, on the flip side, which we're gonna go into each other's stories in way more detail down the road, but why like what made you decide on this side of your journey to serve the breast cancer community? Like what made you decide to kind of flip it around?
speaker-0: There was so much I didn't know. And when this huge diagnosis is placed in your lap, it's like a ticking time bomb. You know nothing until you know all the things and there's no in between and there's no guide to help you. There's nobody nobody can explain it. And I I looked at books and research and read the whole internet and nothing resonated with me because it's either too medically and it's not real. And you want the real, the raw, all the information. Yeah. Honestly, I attribute most of my knowledge and getting through it to you because you're my first cancer friend.
speaker-1: look at that. Look at that. Yeah, that's true. That's how we became friends. Like it's not awesome, but it's become such a blessing.
speaker-0: So and now I wanna give back. Like I want that for others. I wanna pay it forward, right? People helped me when I needed it most and now I want to help others get through it.
speaker-1: Awesome. Well, so I was diagnosed in 2018 with stage three. Same thing. Like I felt it in the shower. I felt a lump in the shower and got to earn a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound and all the fun things with a biopsy, just you know, the whole gamut. That was in 2018. I was 38. I had three kettos. My youngest had just turned a year old. So it was an interesting time for sure, you know. When I was going through it, I was just, you know, same thing. We both live in the DFW area and the community that I live in was just absolutely incredible. I mean, they came forward and it was so humbling with how they provided and cared and just loved on our family. And so I wanted to be able to give back and I didn't really know how. You know, on this side of it, this it was like this is kind of what gave me life and what made me feel like I had something to give again. Cause I've just been, you know, I was so lost. I was so lost after I finished. And I think that's one thing, you know, one thing that people don't tell you about breast cancer or any type of cancer, I'm sure. But it's like, you know, like I mentioned, like surviving is just the beginning. And on this side, you are so lost. Wouldn't you agree? Like did I mean okay.
speaker-0: Hundred percent. You're you're you see the finish line and you're making every effort to get to the finish line and that's all people want to talk about is when is your treatment over? When is your treatment over? And you you're renormal again. You're done, right? You're done, right? Cancer's over. You've you survived it. But there's so much more to it than that. And then it's like you don't have all the doctor's appointments anymore. So you feel lost. You have nothing to do really. I don't know, it's such a big part of my life. It doesn't just go away. Right.
speaker-1: Well, and too, like, and it sounds so horrible. But again, we want to be as raw as we can be and as real as we can be. And I can remember you ring the bell after chemo, but I still had radiation. So it was kind of like why am I celebrating? Like I'm not done, you know? And I know it was a big deal. And I know that that was a huge part to check off the list, but it still feels like daunting almost. Like what like a fake celebration, right?
speaker-0: Yeah, but I'm not done. Yeah. And like all your friends want to have the parties and but you're done, but you're not done. Like there's pills and appointments and tests and all the things forever. Like I'm on a pill for 10 years. Like it's not over. Right. And my body's not the same. Nothing's the same.
speaker-1: I can't wait till we get to talk about that stuff. I can't wait to talk about those things. It's gonna be good, y'all. It's gonna be good. So you know, the deal is there's incredible podcasts out there that explain like treatment and research and the medical side of things and they're so vital and important. But we wanted a place where someone could hear just yes, like again, yes, I know what you're feeling, been there, or I'm there right now, or what can I expect? And I just think it's so important. So You know, what made you feel like this podcast and this topic was something that needed to exist and was important?
speaker-0: Because obviously I'm I'm the token cancer friend, right? In my group, in my circle, I'm the token cancer friend. So everybody brings me their newly diagnosed cancer friend and they want the same thing. They want to know. Like, tell me how it is from the inside. Tell me the real things. Don't hold back. And I'm like, okay, but do you want me to hold back? Cause there's a lot. It's a lot. I'm like, so you have to tell me on a scale of one to ten, one being just the high points and ten being everything that I know. 'Cause it can be overwhelming, but that's what they want to hear. Like your doctor can give you the, you know, the what, the three ring binder that's got like five thousand pages in it of all the symptoms and things that could happen, but they want to know what really happens from somebody that lived through it. Because all these medical professionals that write these books don't live through it like we did. They don't see the day to day. They don't live with it. Well, I feel like me, if I was being diagnosed today and there was a podcast that's a girlfriend's guide to surviving breast cancer. I'd be all about it 'cause it's a cliff notes for right that tells me all the things.
speaker-1: Right. I remember when I was pregnant and there was a book and it was called Girlfriend's Guide to Expecting. And I don't know if you ever read that or know about it, but it was
speaker-0: I did.
speaker-1: so it was one of those things where it told you, like, you're gonna go home and mesh panties. Here's what you can expect. And I mean, it was like the stuff that literally your doctors don't tell you about. But your girlfriends will, you know, they'll tell you behind closed doors and when no one's listening, it's those kinds of things. And so when I was going through cancer, and especially like towards the end and once the survival part, you know, kicked in, I had connected with a girl actually out on the West Coast. She was in California and she was two weeks ahead of me in treatment. So I would kind of ask her, like, okay, well, how was this one? How was this one? And she would ask me, like, how much do you want to know? Do you want to all of it or like a little bit of it? I'm like, I want to know it. And so she would tell me things that just were mind-boggling, right? As I got through treatment and on this side of it, I wanted that guide, right? I wanted that girlfriend's guide. I want the trimesters. Like I want to know what to expect when you're diagnosed. I want to know what to expect what in treatment. I want to know what to expect, like at the end, in the survival and living there.
speaker-0: So many little things and you just wanna make sure that you're normal, right? Because there's so many symptoms. So it's like I don't want to necessarily call my doctor and be like, Hey, this is what happened. Is that okay? Like right. I don't want to be a weirdo and think that I'm over the freaking out for no reason. But at the same time, it I mean, does it all go back to cancer? Probably always does, but I don't know. But I get it. I had Megan. She was exactly a week. So we met on your Facebook page, right? Yeah. Yeah. Girlfriend's guide to fighting. Yes. So we bonded over eyelashes. And she was she's triple negative, but we had the same exact treatment plan. And we were a week apart. So like we talked about everything, especially because cancer, you don't sleep, right? You know that. Yeah. so we would stay up all night and talk about all the things. Yeah. My husband would be like, Who are you talking to? It's just my cancer friend Megan. Are you sure? Like, yes, I promise.
speaker-1: Yeah. No one wants this. I promise. You're not, you're not to worry about anything else. You're good. Yeah. I know. It's so important though. It's so important to have those connections. And I think, like, if you don't have it, if you haven't met someone that that has that, you know, still trying to find that connection. And that's what this can serve as, right? Like this can serve as that connection for people to understand like you're not alone, right? And one of the things that we talk about, and in fact, with Tuman Breast Cancer Foundation, like our word is courageous. And we're extending that over into this. And we just want people to understand like courage isn't just doing something, right? It's do it's facing something and feeling the fear anyway. That's the literal definition of it. And so facing cancer is scary, obviously. And I know we get sick of people being like, you were so strong and you're just this and that. And it's like, no, I'm really not. Like I didn't have any other choice. Like I didn't have
speaker-0: Twice.
speaker-1: yeah. Yeah. But to me, that's what courage is, right? Like you're putting one foot in front of the other. You don't want to. But you don't have another choice. And so that's courageous, right? It's not necessarily strength, but it is it is being courageous. So yeah. You know, a few things that kind of we hope that we can do on here is bring different guests on here, different interviews. and we're really excited. So, like some of the ones that we want to talk with are, you know, different therapists. We have other survivors, obviously. We have some funny stories, some difficult conversations we'll cover. I know you have a couple of guests in mind that you're already working through that we want to bring on. So it's going to be an exciting time and we can't get it rolling. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So
speaker-0: Okay, so whether you're newly diagnosed, if you're currently in treatment, if you're celebrating being in remission, or you're helping a loved one or family member that's dealing with cancer, or you're metastatic, we're grateful that you're here, first and foremost. We hope this becomes a place where you feel informed and you feel comfortable and encouraged and most importantly understood.
speaker-1: Absolutely. And just remember that courage doesn't mean you aren't afraid. It means you don't have to face it alone. And this is the moment for which you were created, y'all. So we'll see you next time on Girlfriend's Guide to Cancer. Bye.
speaker-0: Thank you for spending time with us on Girlfriend's Guide to Cancer. If today's conversation reminded you that you're not alone, then please share this episode with another woman who needs a girlfriend in her corner. And if you're looking for a way to support women beyond listening, we invite you to visit the Tumen Breast Cancer Foundation at TumanBreastCancer.org. The foundation provides real, tangible support to women and families facing breast cancer by alleviating the weight of day-to-day tasks to connection, community, and resources. Your donation helped make that support possible. Every gift, no matter the size, helps us make sure that no woman has to face breast cancer alone. Please subscribe, leave a review, and help us reach more women walking through breast cancer and life beyond it. Keep being courageous. Keep choosing hope. And remember, courage is not the absence of fear. It is choosing to move forward despite it. And this is the moment for which you were created. Can't wait to chat again next time. on Girlfriend's Guide to Cancer.
