S2E1 Welcome Back!

WEBVTT
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it's time for full pelican prepare yourself for some fucking creepiness.
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What time is it?
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I said it was full pelican time.
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Bitch, fucking, do it.
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I don't hear your shit.
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What?
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now I gotta sit on it what did you get that picture I sent you?
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I did awesome.
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I got onto it, awesome.
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Probably should know.
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I don't know.
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Bobo, what's poppin'?
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Welcome back to Full Pelican.
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We got Bobo Back from the dead.
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Yeah, bobo.
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Well, I've been back from the dead for a long time.
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You were the original.
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What is dead may never die, and I am Christ.
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There we go.
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So Youngin needs a name I.
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I nominate simon, simon, simon all right, simon okay, I'm so gonna forget all it does.
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Give us.
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Give us room for some.
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Simon says shit down the line, but in my head I was like, yeah, yes, I didn't certainly yeah this is on my diet right totally gluten free you ever done something and immediately regret it?
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Fuck you, I haven't done, bobo only one.
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Two people have I had to correct myself whoa.
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I'm looking around the room suspiciously.
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I mean, do we count myself, because there's three.
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You don't find it hot.
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As a motherfucker, I mean, you've been fucking yourself for years now.
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New studio, new box.
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Holy shit, it was in 70-something.
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Yeah.
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I mean it says it's 65 in here and I don't trust that Bullshit.
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Yeah, it's not so much shit.
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I'm not laying cranking down.
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Don't be scared, Bobbin.
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Yeah, that'll do it Whoa.
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Hey, I found it.
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I hope you don't like anything that comes out of me, because you're getting it full of fucking force.
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Yeah, that's not the best spot for me.
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Yeah, it's like you can't turn the Can you?
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No, you can change the direction of the thing.
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Yeah, you can hear the fuck out of that.
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Yeah, you can hear the fuck out of that.
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That is going more directly into it.
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No, worse.
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New studio who does.
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Awful.
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Okay, I'm so excited to be back.
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All right, oh shit, we're here in the wind tunnel.
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Yeah, I'm going to be really cold really quick.
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Yeah, it works.
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Yeah, it does work, I can set it back to auto and then just cut off.
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Yeah, and you turn the fan on.
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I mean, yeah, we're going to have to work some shit.
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You said it's on-on.
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Yeah, like the fan's going to keep blowing.
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What?
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happens when it's on auto.
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Do we know anything about it?
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Absolutely nothing, because it says it's 65 in here.
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What's?
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that.
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Look at that.
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It was an off in the middle, you dink Cool.
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I didn't touch that knob no, the left one the left one, the left one, where it says on and on.
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Are we really leaving him to this?
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Quality audio we're on this.
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Have some fucking wind noise, here you go.
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Have some of that.
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Good lord, have mercy Anyway.
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I gotta fix my mic, simon's gonna talk and I'm not gonna hear shit from him.
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I know that sucks.
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How does it feel to be the new guy?
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I didn't know there was gonna be a rush.
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No microphones, a rush.
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This has been planned for four weeks yeah, for the four of us.
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Yeah, he called me weeks ago and was like we need you.
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I love you and you're such a quality podcaster.
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I know he didn't say that shit, Because I don't think he considers any of us quality Shit.
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I'm not quality.
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That's kind of the point.
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This is like the bottom of the fucking barrel.
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When you're drunk and bored, this is what you're going to listen to.
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I feel like I have to apologize after every episode.
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I owe everyone an apology, for sure.
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Walk out and just start apologizing to people in the street.
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I'm sorry I did that.
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No, you're supposed to change your apologies to thank yous, or at least women are.
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What Self-help?
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bullshit.
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All right, here we go.
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Explain this bullshit, because women always say oh my God, I'm sorry.
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I women always say oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm late.
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Oh my God, I'm sorry I'm this.
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Oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm emotional, but instead I mean you should apologize if you're late.
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No, you say thank you for waiting for me.
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Nah, fuck that.
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That way you're not apologizing for your goddamn existence.
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Well if you say sorry, then you're starting off the interaction with like oh yeah, sorry.
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I did something wrong, whereas if you say thank you for waiting for me, which you deserve, I deserve a thank you for waiting for me, because you should have been ready.
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How about?
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go fuck yourself.
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How's that?
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How about I'm good?
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on that.
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I'm so good on that what fucking yourself all of the above.
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So what we learned earlier is that oh, Bala, I need you to open your phone.
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Stop dicking around with your fucking mic, Jesus.
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What are you talking about?
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It's always yeah, you're losing your fucking nuts, do you have?
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a set of Allen keys on you, like in your box of tools, I might.
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You have a box of tools.
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You don't seem like you would have a box of tools.
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Anyway, continue.
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Well, you're going to need to look something up, because otherwise it's not going to make sense context-wise.
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It's what tickled me the fuck right up.
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I love when you say something tickles you.
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It tickled me internally bro.
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It tickles me internally, bro, it tickles me when you say something tickles you.
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Wow, that's some like tickle-ception.
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I think we might have made a mistake.
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Oh my God, I'm so much better than Brown.
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That's recorded, get that out.
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I mean, I guess it remains to be seen if she's wrong.
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That's true, you know.
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I've already brought more to the fucking table, so what do you?
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mean Because you're larger than he is, but that's not the point.
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That's not goddamn true.
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Yeah, it's not true.
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I've lost 30 pounds, thank you.
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You're saying he's not like real thin?
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No oh.
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You didn't see that picture plus I got TNA, so I'll show you anyway, this is going to be cut anyway so anyway, yeah, so get your shit connected, since we're, you know, waiting for you to figure out technical details been waiting for you all fucking day because that's how that worked, yeah.
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I was ready.
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I was here at 9 okay, so you know hex or not yeah, anyway, I was here at 9, okay, so you know, hex or not, yeah anyway let's just fucking have silence now.
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Yeah we're just watching you can talk while I connect talk about what we're waiting to finish the topic what are?
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we having to look up?
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Well, we're gonna wait till Dinglefuck gets his shit together.
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Dinglefire, dinglefuck gets his shit together.
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Dinglefuck Trying to do all this stuff.
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Which one's us.
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I took the picture.
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H4NJ.
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Good lord, have mercy, the one with the best signal, and it's got that fucked up password that I was able to copy from the picture.
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So thank you, apple, for making it so I can tap on text in a fucking picture.
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Oh, we're still anti-Apple, aren't we?
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Who you?
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No, why I don't?
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know I felt like you were.
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Who was?
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No, I'm sorry, that was Brown.
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Actually he switched yeah he switched?
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Ah, yeah, he did.
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He switched a long time ago.
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I know that because I gave him one Sorry it's been three years I've been in a fucking bubble where all I do is breastfeed and change shit diapers, my bad.
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Way to bring the podcast down.
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Yeah, I'm just saying.
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I mean it's better now he sleeps in his bed.
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He's not breastfeeding.
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And then your kid too.
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Things are all better.
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No, that's Working overtime at Crayola the green ones, you guys.
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I get an employee discount.
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It tastes like apple.
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Oh, okay, I got a top, a quick one, oh no.
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Finish your first one.
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Well, we're waiting on Jingle Fuck as in you.
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Well then you go ahead and do you boo-boo.
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They make bras that make you look like you have big nipples.
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Now Kim Kardashian is sponsoring them.
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Yeah, it's true, yes, my sister, my sister sent it to me and she said your nipples are finally trending.
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So she told me.
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So we've learned something about baba.
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We are.
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So I I didn't know that we were.
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We were working on, uh, rubbing out some pencil etchings, but but I mean, hey, man, yeah, so now they're into that shit, now they're a thing.
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I don't.
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I mean, if you're going to, if you so.
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These are for the like flat nipple crowd, that because if you wear a shirt with no bra your nipples show typically.
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But I'm guessing this is for the crowd where that doesn't happen.
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And then they have to put on a bra with fake nipples in it.
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See, I think I can't relate, so I'm asking have tos?
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is a is a is a right.
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Well, if they want that, look of like hey, my nipples are here right, I mean I.
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It's fucking weird.
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It seems like an unnecessary product.
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Right correct, that's, I guess my point.
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It's like you know what I want to.
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I want people to look at my tits, right, right.
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But it's literally like I have a hard time not looking at a nipple that's poking out.
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Look, this is the nipple there.
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What's going on beneath there?
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It's a lot happening.
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It's a lot happening.
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It's like a whole nipple bra.
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It's like a bra with a marble in the front.
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It's very strange.
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Here's a picture of the actual bra.
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It's very strange.
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It's really distracting, is what it is.
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I was going to say there's a face there.
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She said bitch, this is the caption.
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She said bitch, your big nipples are finally a trend.
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That's what she said, but I don't.
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This is the caption.
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She said bitch, your big nipples are finally a trend.
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That's what she said, yeah, but I don't wear clothes like that.
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I don't wear big nipples, fuck it.
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I don't know, mine are kind of normal right now, but I don't know when it gets cold.
00:10:13.692 --> 00:10:14.636
Everybody gets pokies.
00:10:16.471 --> 00:10:17.394
There's nothing wrong with pokies.
00:10:17.394 --> 00:10:19.351
I don't know that you need to advertise it, and that's my point.
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It's like, do people not?
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And then they buy that.
00:10:24.057 --> 00:10:25.138
What can't you sell?
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We've sold eyelashes.
00:10:26.438 --> 00:10:28.542
We've sold asses in pants.
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Like you can buy an ass now.
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Now you can buy nipples, it's like.
00:10:32.446 --> 00:10:33.346
It's all fucking lies, man.
00:10:33.346 --> 00:10:37.299
I wouldn't trust anybody.
00:10:37.299 --> 00:10:38.865
You never know anymore.
00:10:38.865 --> 00:10:40.089
Wouldn't trust anybody.
00:10:43.529 --> 00:10:43.629
Like makeup's a lie.
00:10:43.629 --> 00:10:44.677
So, Simon, are you dating like would you be attracted to a nipple?
00:10:44.677 --> 00:10:45.616
Bra like is that something good.
00:10:45.616 --> 00:10:49.149
Question because he's young and he's still dating.
00:10:49.149 --> 00:10:50.990
We're all fucking locked down and miserable.
00:10:51.331 --> 00:10:56.341
I'm asking him we're still learning things about Bob.
00:10:56.442 --> 00:11:03.034
I don't know if I saw someone with the nipple bra, it's not like it would be.
00:11:04.499 --> 00:11:10.578
Start that over, start that whole relay over it sounds much better.
00:11:10.578 --> 00:11:12.054
Imagine that.
00:11:12.616 --> 00:11:13.438
Here you are.
00:11:13.438 --> 00:11:14.572
Now.
00:11:14.591 --> 00:11:18.258
The editors are going to have a pain in the ass going through the different voices on a single channel.
00:11:19.591 --> 00:11:20.275
Yay, editors.
00:11:20.275 --> 00:11:21.183
Good job Howard.
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I don't work there anymore.
00:11:22.254 --> 00:11:24.570
If I was out and someone had voices on a single channel, yay editors Good job, Howard.
00:11:25.150 --> 00:11:27.570
If I was out and someone had one of the nipple bras.
00:11:30.136 --> 00:11:31.139
I don't know how I would.
00:11:31.139 --> 00:11:34.996
Are you attracted to seeing somebody's nipples before you even take their shirt off?
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Is that a thing?
00:11:36.152 --> 00:11:36.472
Can I see?
00:11:36.493 --> 00:11:37.176
your nipples please.
00:11:37.176 --> 00:11:44.475
I'm from up north, so everybody's always got hard nipples Half the year.
00:11:44.475 --> 00:11:46.681
My nipples are hard enough to cut diamonds.
00:11:46.880 --> 00:11:50.238
Right, but also half the year you're wearing a jacket, so you're not going to know.
00:11:51.120 --> 00:11:52.865
Right, oh no you'll know, you'll know.
00:11:53.269 --> 00:11:55.940
So what if you buy a nipple bra and you still have to put on a sweater.
00:11:56.692 --> 00:11:57.756
I just don't understand it.
00:12:02.850 --> 00:12:03.960
I still think it's a lie because it's like a push-up bra.
00:12:03.960 --> 00:12:04.605
It's going to imitate perkiness.
00:12:04.605 --> 00:12:05.129
That may or may not exist.
00:12:05.929 --> 00:12:07.196
I guess so, but I just don't.
00:12:07.196 --> 00:12:11.298
I guess my point is I don't understand why you want to show people through a shirt.
00:12:11.330 --> 00:12:13.335
It's the signal you're sending You're always excited.
00:12:14.658 --> 00:12:15.881
That's not the only reason to pop out.
00:12:17.130 --> 00:12:20.913
It's like a teenage kid getting random wood, it's just a thing.
00:12:20.913 --> 00:12:25.119
Nobody wants to know that though you wouldn't buy pants that have like a half chub in it.
00:12:25.552 --> 00:12:26.375
The fuck you wouldn't.
00:12:29.211 --> 00:12:30.677
Yeah but, it's still a lie.
00:12:30.677 --> 00:12:31.955
It's still a bullshit lie.
00:12:32.832 --> 00:12:33.836
I think I would buy pants.
00:12:34.812 --> 00:12:35.535
Turn the fuck around.
00:12:37.931 --> 00:12:38.831
Are you ready to Google?
00:12:38.851 --> 00:12:40.332
yet To be fair.
00:12:40.332 --> 00:12:45.316
I think I would buy a pair of pants that had a big ass dick print in them, you know.
00:12:45.876 --> 00:12:47.638
All right, so moving on.
00:12:47.638 --> 00:12:49.960
What are you going to say, chad?
00:12:50.360 --> 00:12:51.419
Fucking Jesus.
00:12:51.419 --> 00:12:53.221
I'm just watching this.
00:12:53.221 --> 00:12:55.082
This is Patrick.
00:12:55.302 --> 00:12:58.485
He tried to spill it again, fucking God.
00:12:58.684 --> 00:12:59.166
So wait?
00:12:59.166 --> 00:13:00.326
This is why we can't.
00:13:00.326 --> 00:13:01.907
Why don't you just help him?
00:13:01.907 --> 00:13:02.628
No, no.
00:13:04.510 --> 00:13:05.735
He's a sink or swim.
00:13:05.735 --> 00:13:07.399
He's a sink or swim, clearly not.
00:13:08.091 --> 00:13:10.118
I mean, I had someone help me.
00:13:10.510 --> 00:13:12.057
Your dad would be so proud.
00:13:16.370 --> 00:13:18.217
Of how his little girl turned out.
00:13:21.331 --> 00:13:24.796
That's a song, yeah, but yes, I can Google now.
00:13:25.614 --> 00:13:27.716
Hey, look at you Longest sober period of my life.
00:13:27.716 --> 00:13:27.980
That's why.
00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:31.633
I didn't bring my shit inside because there's not enough room in this thing for multiple laptops?
00:13:31.692 --> 00:13:32.154
No, not really.
00:13:32.154 --> 00:13:34.596
We might have to put the other table up here and stretch.
00:13:34.809 --> 00:13:42.636
No, we need just two fucking TVs, one computer that displays the mirrors on both, so that anybody can look and see them.
00:13:42.636 --> 00:13:44.174
Anyway, guys, one back area, one back.
00:13:45.490 --> 00:13:46.456
What is he googling?
00:13:46.456 --> 00:13:48.557
Why are we making fun of Abbo?
00:13:48.557 --> 00:13:50.739
Come on, get it over with.
00:13:52.246 --> 00:13:52.690
Oh, we got.
00:13:52.690 --> 00:13:54.596
I mean shit, I didn't make a full list.
00:13:54.596 --> 00:13:55.773
Do I need to take a minute?
00:13:56.756 --> 00:13:58.193
You should have prepared.
00:13:58.193 --> 00:14:04.155
This has been in the books for four weeks I don't know how many times I gotta say that, if you want to fucking make fun of me.
00:14:04.196 --> 00:14:08.115
I'm gonna start counting, at least once okay, whatever, don't make fun of me.
00:14:08.135 --> 00:14:12.414
Make fun of me, I don't care well, we're not make funny, it's there's questions.
00:14:12.514 --> 00:14:13.417
There's questions to be asked.
00:14:13.417 --> 00:14:13.618
So.
00:14:13.618 --> 00:14:18.456
So baba was talking a minute ago about how, how she's been reading now and take, take the, take the.
00:14:18.456 --> 00:14:19.958
Yeah it's being read to her by somebody.
00:14:19.958 --> 00:14:25.917
So we learned a couple of things.
00:14:25.917 --> 00:14:30.278
One, fifty Shades of Grey, is what led to Child One.
00:14:33.390 --> 00:14:36.775
That was the last book I was able to actually physically read.
00:14:36.775 --> 00:14:39.397
Picked up an audible habit.
00:14:40.533 --> 00:14:42.874
Right Of which she's read a book.
00:14:42.874 --> 00:14:44.318
Two books, all right.
00:14:44.318 --> 00:14:45.100
How much is that a month?
00:14:45.100 --> 00:14:47.690
16 bucks, yeah, for three credits.
00:14:47.769 --> 00:14:52.236
I'm probably going to cancel on it Anyway, and then yeah, anyway, and then I'll just go back to being dense.
00:14:52.309 --> 00:14:53.392
We were so somewhere.
00:14:53.392 --> 00:14:54.793
Back to it Back to it.
00:14:54.793 --> 00:14:57.716
Never left Haven't even gotten out of driveway yet.
00:14:58.558 --> 00:14:59.840
I think I'll just stay home today.
00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:01.883
I'm going to work from home Park this right here.
00:15:01.883 --> 00:15:08.879
Get out of my fucking car, go drink Cheers, god damn.
00:15:11.870 --> 00:15:14.399
Next time we record no alcohol but for you and I.
00:15:15.412 --> 00:15:16.442
Just to put up with you.
00:15:16.442 --> 00:15:18.999
Absolutely not I will not be arriving.
00:15:20.110 --> 00:15:21.356
Now we know how to do it Good.
00:15:22.409 --> 00:15:24.197
She never made it out of the driveway again.
00:15:24.197 --> 00:15:25.716
You will ask me to come here.
00:15:26.451 --> 00:15:27.777
That's not how that happened.
00:15:27.777 --> 00:15:35.563
So Bobbo was the book that she's read on Audible because it has been read to her.
00:15:35.563 --> 00:15:39.980
It's a book that has been read to Bobbo on Audible Okay, it's called Pen Pal.
00:15:39.980 --> 00:15:48.636
So when you search for Pen Pal, make sure you include book and you will immediately see why Bobbo read this book.
00:15:49.409 --> 00:15:50.796
It was referred to me, by the way.
00:15:51.191 --> 00:15:51.778
Yeah, I'm sure no.
00:15:52.323 --> 00:15:53.658
I'm serious, I have the text.
00:15:53.678 --> 00:15:55.231
So what's the cover you're seeing of that book?
00:15:55.231 --> 00:16:06.230
I see like an ocean by JT, something-de-fuck JD JD.
00:16:06.230 --> 00:16:07.653
Ocean by jt something defuck jd, jd, salinger, geisinger, jt guys.
00:16:07.653 --> 00:16:08.134
That's the thing.
00:16:08.153 --> 00:16:17.519
So, unintentional, plug one, one second so add j jt, you would call me to ask me to come back, so that it's not on record that you asked me to be here jt okay, so yeah, there it is all right, hold on.
00:16:17.580 --> 00:16:21.176
Yeah, no, this because it was a whole different oh, look it's, it's cheap.
00:16:21.859 --> 00:16:22.440
Of course it is.
00:16:22.440 --> 00:16:25.975
It's zero dollars on Kindle Unlimited, you can get it for eight bucks.
00:16:25.975 --> 00:16:30.139
You're logged into, I am pulled up the app, yeah.
00:16:30.289 --> 00:16:32.177
So, which means this is in my browsing.
00:16:32.490 --> 00:16:34.818
Because I'm meeting the seller Five star rating.
00:16:34.909 --> 00:16:37.736
Good job, Miss Danielle.
00:16:37.736 --> 00:16:38.198
What.
00:16:39.061 --> 00:16:39.783
Oh, Danielle.
00:16:39.783 --> 00:16:41.655
Danielle made the review OK.
00:16:42.590 --> 00:16:42.831
Yeah, what?
00:16:42.831 --> 00:16:42.892
Oh?
00:16:42.892 --> 00:16:43.534
Danielle made the review.
00:16:43.534 --> 00:16:44.520
Okay, she's selling it so good on you.
00:16:44.520 --> 00:16:45.163
Free plugs.
00:16:45.466 --> 00:16:45.908
JT.
00:16:45.908 --> 00:16:49.298
So I need you to look at the cover of this book.
00:16:49.298 --> 00:16:54.476
I'm staring at it Fucking Therastrap, yeah, Like that dude has a fucking 18-pack.
00:16:54.476 --> 00:16:58.980
It looks like if you type hot guy into AI that's what it spits out.
00:16:58.980 --> 00:16:59.873
Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is.
00:16:59.974 --> 00:17:00.697
AI generated.
00:17:05.250 --> 00:17:05.817
And I'm fine with that.
00:17:05.817 --> 00:17:06.970
There was a lot of actual substance in the book, I swear.
00:17:06.970 --> 00:17:08.275
Yeah, I was afraid there was.
00:17:08.730 --> 00:17:10.777
Were you driving down bumpy roads a lot.
00:17:10.777 --> 00:17:13.498
While you were reading it, she zerted Deb up.
00:17:13.498 --> 00:17:17.135
There's so many puddles.
00:17:18.318 --> 00:17:19.142
That's what it was.
00:17:19.142 --> 00:17:21.657
She squirted substance all over the cover.
00:17:21.670 --> 00:17:22.387
She almost squirted substance all over the cover.
00:17:22.387 --> 00:17:23.902
She almost squirted substance all over the fucking table.
00:17:23.902 --> 00:17:27.757
I'm just remembering no way.
00:17:27.757 --> 00:17:30.531
So why is it you only read lady porn books?
00:17:30.531 --> 00:17:32.057
That's not the only book.
00:17:32.057 --> 00:17:39.931
I've read Britney Spears memoir lady porn, the woman in me I just want to point out Pin.
00:17:39.951 --> 00:17:42.519
Pal has a two star rating, not according to this.
00:17:44.273 --> 00:17:47.340
I enjoyed it thoroughly, that's the seller.
00:17:47.381 --> 00:17:47.922
That's the book.
00:17:47.922 --> 00:17:50.336
He's got four stars, I guess.
00:17:50.336 --> 00:17:59.058
With all of the shirtless that's here he needs a half-punch pair of pants.
00:17:59.830 --> 00:18:01.934
He doesn't need it, does he?
00:18:01.934 --> 00:18:03.679
No, dude's got an 18-pack.
00:18:03.679 --> 00:18:05.583
He could be rocking a fucking micro dick.
00:18:05.583 --> 00:18:07.815
He's not, and somebody should be happy with it, because they're like look at him.
00:18:07.835 --> 00:18:08.096
He's a liar.
00:18:08.096 --> 00:18:09.701
He wasn't, though Not in the book.
00:18:10.130 --> 00:18:15.542
The first sentence of the summary is the first letter arrived the day after my husband was buried.
00:18:15.730 --> 00:18:17.613
Hell yeah, dude, Dude.
00:18:17.613 --> 00:18:19.016
Okay, it was really good.
00:18:19.016 --> 00:18:20.798
Can I give you a synopsis?
00:18:20.818 --> 00:18:23.964
Because it was actually really fucking good I got enough, he's a prisoner.
00:18:24.671 --> 00:18:26.597
No, no, no, no, he's a prison pen pal.
00:18:26.829 --> 00:18:30.660
We are living up some real fucking, some real life fantasies.
00:18:30.740 --> 00:18:33.474
Okay, no, no, no, these are not fantasies for me.
00:18:33.474 --> 00:18:34.278
It was a fucking book.
00:18:34.278 --> 00:18:39.943
They are now Somebody referred it to me, whatever the fuck I'm trying to say.
00:18:39.943 --> 00:18:46.875
Yes, she receives letters, but then she also meets this guy and you don't connect the dots until the very end.
00:18:47.434 --> 00:18:56.217
Spoilers, by the way yeah nobody's reading this it's being read to them while they masturbate in the car.
00:18:56.269 --> 00:18:57.354
Don't fucking call me out.
00:18:57.394 --> 00:19:03.105
I was in the car, oh this is why she was invited back.
00:19:03.105 --> 00:19:04.289
For the time you'll admit.
00:19:05.472 --> 00:19:08.221
I mean hey, hey, hey I was not in the car.
00:19:08.221 --> 00:19:09.685
I'm gonna get a little crank it up.
00:19:09.685 --> 00:19:13.474
You know I didn't say that either everybody, just kind of happened.
00:19:13.474 --> 00:19:14.057
Were you doing?
00:19:14.057 --> 00:19:17.571
Laundry when you were no, I was just, I was just at home.
00:19:17.592 --> 00:19:18.595
I think I just you know, we're not gonna go there.
00:19:18.615 --> 00:19:20.722
um, I'm telling you about the book because you already did we get it, we get it.
00:19:20.722 --> 00:19:21.305
We're not going to go there.
00:19:21.305 --> 00:19:24.035
I'm telling you about the book Because you already did we get it.
00:19:24.055 --> 00:19:30.388
We're not shaming you for pounding one out, because I mean shit, everybody pounds it out and if you don't, you fucking start.
00:19:30.789 --> 00:19:34.117
Okay, so those are rookie numbers, not right now.
00:19:35.661 --> 00:19:36.343
No, not right now.
00:19:38.070 --> 00:19:39.195
It's really fucking good.
00:19:39.195 --> 00:19:40.932
She thinks she's being haunted.
00:19:40.932 --> 00:19:41.795
She thinks she's being haunted.
00:19:41.795 --> 00:19:47.230
She thinks her husband drowned, and like the whole book you're thinking like that's kind of weird.
00:19:47.230 --> 00:19:50.461
And she keeps seeing these people and you don't think they're really there.
00:19:50.461 --> 00:19:52.194
And then she fucks the guy.
00:19:52.194 --> 00:20:06.971
And then she comes back home and then she gets letters and turns out that the letters are from the guy and she is actually dead too, because what happened is her husband didn't drown, he killed them both.
00:20:06.990 --> 00:20:07.612
Spoilers.
00:20:07.612 --> 00:20:09.086
I told you there were spoilers.
00:20:09.160 --> 00:20:15.405
He killed them both and she's dead the whole time and it was like a mind explosion at the end it's a reverse sex scene.
00:20:15.446 --> 00:20:18.105
It was really fucking good, but they were dead fucking.
00:20:18.380 --> 00:20:22.207
There was lots and lots of sex scenes, but that's not what the book was about.
00:20:22.207 --> 00:20:26.871
No, no, no, there was lots of them.
00:20:26.911 --> 00:20:27.617
Yes, it was you guys.
00:20:27.617 --> 00:20:29.444
You guys, it's like reading Playboy for the articles.
00:20:29.444 --> 00:20:30.186
Here's the thing.
00:20:30.186 --> 00:20:32.400
Here's the thing they're the only pages that aren't stuck, so you have to.
00:20:32.779 --> 00:20:34.880
Okay, so I've Do.
00:20:34.940 --> 00:20:40.286
I say this I'm not going to say it yes do it, no you.
00:20:40.326 --> 00:20:41.667
I've read Fifty Shades.
00:20:41.667 --> 00:20:46.992
This was the first time I've listened to a fucking smut book and I was like what the fuck is?
00:20:47.032 --> 00:20:47.933
happening.
00:20:47.933 --> 00:20:49.736
Tell me it had a foley artist in the back.
00:20:51.300 --> 00:20:51.642
A what?
00:20:52.623 --> 00:20:54.165
No, absolutely not.
00:20:54.165 --> 00:20:57.211
No, like a slow clap in the back of the room.
00:20:57.310 --> 00:21:05.286
No, so that whole thing about having to rush to get home, that was absolutely Like a bang went out on the ones and twos.
00:21:06.661 --> 00:21:08.086
As we get home, smells like shame in here.
00:21:09.002 --> 00:21:11.663
I actually asked him first are you going to be home early?
00:21:11.663 --> 00:21:14.569
No, okay, cool Okay fuck on one.
00:21:14.589 --> 00:21:15.211
Take it away from him.
00:21:15.211 --> 00:21:17.686
I didn't take shit away.
00:21:17.960 --> 00:21:19.487
Didn't know you were going to the seafood market.
00:21:19.780 --> 00:21:22.009
Anyway, guys, Brittany's memoir.
00:21:22.009 --> 00:21:25.031
Oh, we're moving on quickly.
00:21:25.031 --> 00:21:27.542
Done with this conversation.
00:21:27.542 --> 00:21:27.964
Do we need to really?
00:21:27.984 --> 00:21:29.070
talk about that anymore.
00:21:29.070 --> 00:21:33.307
I mean, it's entertaining but I guess, otherwise we're just going to get repetitive.
00:21:33.400 --> 00:21:33.801
We don't need.
00:21:33.801 --> 00:21:34.806
It's a lot for me.
00:21:34.806 --> 00:21:36.266
Fingers are already starting to smell.
00:21:38.605 --> 00:21:39.650
Wow, guys, I don't smell.
00:21:39.650 --> 00:21:44.603
Well, this just means you're used to it, Anyways so, brittany, that's not a good idea.
00:21:44.603 --> 00:21:46.788
So Brittany, brittany, bitch, yeah.
00:21:46.788 --> 00:21:51.171
So Brittany, brittany, poor Brittany, is fucking crazy she is.
00:21:51.191 --> 00:21:52.159
Wasn't there a story about a coat hanger?
00:21:52.883 --> 00:21:59.227
yes, yes it's not a coat hanger, but the procedure okay, so what do y'all want to know?
00:22:00.183 --> 00:22:00.746
probably none of it.
00:22:00.746 --> 00:22:02.625
You brought it up.
00:22:02.625 --> 00:22:04.130
I figured you were going somewhere with it.
00:22:04.561 --> 00:22:05.768
I hate y'all so much.
00:22:05.929 --> 00:22:07.415
For God's sake, I have no interest.
00:22:07.415 --> 00:22:10.972
All I see is you, you, literally told me, save it for the podcast earlier.
00:22:10.972 --> 00:22:13.365
Well, yeah, do you have something entertaining to say about it?
00:22:13.365 --> 00:22:14.146
Entertain me.
00:22:14.166 --> 00:22:19.729
Okay, all right, I am Justin's top fan, okay.
00:22:20.049 --> 00:22:20.530
Okay.
00:22:26.259 --> 00:22:28.767
Yeah, you'd be the bottom but the biggest, I probably would be there for it.
00:22:28.767 --> 00:22:29.930
I would be there for any of it.
00:22:29.930 --> 00:22:31.454
Okay, very attracted to justin obsessed.
00:22:31.454 --> 00:22:37.134
Obsessed is like not even doesn't matter no, that was never even adds to the debonair anyway, guys.
00:22:37.134 --> 00:22:38.640
Um, probably smells like mahogany.
00:22:38.640 --> 00:22:40.683
Are we talking about?
00:22:40.683 --> 00:22:41.365
Am I talking?
00:22:41.605 --> 00:22:42.166
I don't know.
00:22:42.166 --> 00:22:42.969
Keep, keep going.
00:22:42.969 --> 00:22:44.791
That's your podcast, you go.
00:22:45.012 --> 00:22:48.948
Let's roll, Justin's number one fan Love him, right.
00:22:48.948 --> 00:22:55.688
So I go into the book with like the mindset of like fuck you, Brittany, why would you talk about my man like that?
00:22:55.688 --> 00:22:58.028
There's no way he was a piece of shit, right?
00:22:58.028 --> 00:23:09.228
I come out the book fucking heartbroken for Brittany and like what the fuck Justin like very sad written exactly how she needed it to.
00:23:09.228 --> 00:23:13.086
She won right, so I don't know.
00:23:13.086 --> 00:23:18.906
I don't know guys she had a very she had a very hard life.
00:23:18.906 --> 00:23:26.229
From what she writes and, yes, definitely money no stop money power yeah but she didn't ever own her power.
00:23:26.599 --> 00:23:27.999
Yeah, I was going to say the whole conservatorship.
00:23:28.339 --> 00:23:30.608
Yeah, the conservatorship was really bad.
00:23:30.608 --> 00:23:32.186
It was really fucking bad.
00:23:32.186 --> 00:23:33.523
He made her go to.
00:23:33.765 --> 00:23:34.428
AA meetings.
00:23:34.428 --> 00:23:36.045
She said she never had a problem with drugs.
00:23:36.045 --> 00:23:37.869
I don't know if we buy that I don't buy it.
00:23:37.869 --> 00:23:39.846
She said she liked Adderall.
00:23:39.846 --> 00:23:46.530
She said she was on Prozac from very young, but that doesn't mean you have a problem with them.
00:23:46.530 --> 00:23:49.925
I've been on fucking whatever Zoloft before.
00:23:50.259 --> 00:23:53.065
Yeah, like Prozac, you're not going to take for funsies Adderall.
00:23:53.065 --> 00:23:55.244
People take unprescribed because people are dumb.
00:23:55.244 --> 00:23:59.866
I think that she's got some other shit going on because her.
00:24:00.300 --> 00:24:03.509
She's black bowler, I think let's be honest right?
00:24:06.742 --> 00:24:12.013
If you say, yeah, I like Adderall, you've probably got a problem with Adderall.
00:24:12.542 --> 00:24:14.112
Yeah, no, she definitely abused it before.
00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:19.226
That's coming from someone who's prescribed Adderall, I wouldn't say I like it.
00:24:19.226 --> 00:24:21.963
I say, oh, I take it so I can function right.
00:24:21.963 --> 00:24:28.693
Yeah, but if I'm like, oh, yeah, I like Adderall, like you probably have a problem with it.
00:24:28.814 --> 00:24:38.262
It's probably not Adderall Anyway, and you're getting it from the dude on the corner, so it's probably just some kind of she just had a really rough life y'all, and she did have a smotion.
00:24:38.262 --> 00:24:42.666
I was thinking the same thing One of those what she had a procedure to remove the fetus.
00:24:42.926 --> 00:24:49.833
Yeah, she took pills, so this is according to the yeah, According to the book, she nobody knew about it.
00:24:49.833 --> 00:24:51.634
Her assistant went and got the pills.
00:24:51.814 --> 00:24:53.655
She took them.
00:24:53.655 --> 00:24:55.498
She can fuck whatever or whoever after the show.
00:24:55.498 --> 00:24:56.858
What you got to do, what you got to do.
00:24:57.779 --> 00:25:02.708
No Groupies, listen, we're talking about potentially Justin's baby, which we don't know if we buy that either.
00:25:02.768 --> 00:25:05.032
but I could 100% see it.
00:25:05.032 --> 00:25:08.269
I mean, I could 100% see it, I could see it.
00:25:08.762 --> 00:25:13.625
but her whole thing about saying like oh, justin pressured me into the abortion like bitch.
00:25:13.625 --> 00:25:14.945
You make your own decisions.
00:25:14.945 --> 00:25:17.463
You make your own decisions at the end of the day.
00:25:17.806 --> 00:25:19.364
No, she the fuck didn't.
00:25:19.525 --> 00:25:20.248
That's very true.
00:25:20.248 --> 00:25:21.221
She never does.
00:25:21.241 --> 00:25:22.003
That's true.
00:25:22.003 --> 00:25:23.467
Why wouldn't Justin bag it up?
00:25:23.467 --> 00:25:24.970
Bag what up?
00:25:24.970 --> 00:25:26.532
Yeah, condoms.
00:25:27.182 --> 00:25:27.824
Why wouldn't he?
00:25:27.824 --> 00:25:34.565
You would think he would have enough sense to like oh I'm at the beginning of my goddamn career, I shouldn't be just nutting in hoes.
00:25:34.565 --> 00:25:35.587
Slap that dick.
00:25:36.770 --> 00:25:41.909
I mean no one likes to, so no one does.
00:25:42.490 --> 00:25:43.393
What bag it up?
00:25:43.413 --> 00:25:53.901
Yeah, I mean, I'm two kids later, so right, I mean yeah, so like it's, it's a it's a rough comparison when you've been married for over a decade.
00:25:53.901 --> 00:25:55.344
Right, right?
00:25:55.403 --> 00:25:55.805
well.
00:25:55.805 --> 00:26:09.391
So all I know is is if I ever was pregnant, yeah, no, that shit's not saying like you're gonna have a food baby fits right in like if, if I, if I was welcome to the club of degenerates.
00:26:10.982 --> 00:26:12.547
Okay, so like no chance.
00:26:12.547 --> 00:26:13.749
But what do you mean?
00:26:13.749 --> 00:26:20.286
But I'm talking about their status obviously I'm a dude.
00:26:20.566 --> 00:26:23.890
Oh, at any age if I was a woman and I was pregnant.
00:26:23.890 --> 00:26:28.775
No, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no we're going, but now we're going.
00:26:30.099 --> 00:26:31.686
I'm not even from no kids.
00:26:31.686 --> 00:26:34.685
I'm, I'm.
00:26:34.685 --> 00:26:36.711
I don't know how I feel about that.
00:26:36.711 --> 00:26:42.486
I feel like I'm too selfish with my time, but I know, if I was a woman no, no fucking way.
00:26:43.540 --> 00:26:44.805
OK, but that's not what we're.
00:26:44.805 --> 00:26:52.267
I mean, it's a little bit of what we're talking about, but we're talking about what we're talking about we're talking about britney and justin, guys, they were a huge deal back then.
00:26:52.428 --> 00:26:53.609
Yeah, and okay.
00:26:53.609 --> 00:26:58.507
Anyway, moving on, when he had the denim yes, the denim suit, she talked about that.
00:26:58.507 --> 00:26:59.430
Yeah, she talked about that.
00:27:02.540 --> 00:27:04.605
So, long story short.
00:27:04.605 --> 00:27:07.569
Supposedly he pressured her whatever.
00:27:07.569 --> 00:27:08.632
They got the pills.
00:27:08.632 --> 00:27:10.634
She went in the bathroom, she took the pills.
00:27:10.634 --> 00:27:12.385
She was like in pain all day.
00:27:12.579 --> 00:27:19.347
He serenaded her like it was a whole fucking thing Okay, According to the book Anyway guys, I have a crazy ex.
00:27:20.550 --> 00:27:21.112
Anyway, guys.
00:27:21.112 --> 00:27:26.765
So she also wrote about the breakup, and he did her wrong there too, and I just feel everybody always does.
00:27:26.765 --> 00:27:30.067
Allegedly yeah it is a lot of allegedly.
00:27:30.067 --> 00:27:33.550
And I went to my best friend's house this weekend and she was like, well, she just wrote a book.
00:27:33.550 --> 00:27:35.792
A lot, so I wouldn't take it seriously.
00:27:35.853 --> 00:27:36.554
Well, she wrote.
00:27:36.554 --> 00:27:37.755
She wrote a book to make money.
00:27:37.755 --> 00:27:40.517
Brittany needs needs to get some of that conservatorship money back.
00:27:42.299 --> 00:27:42.961
She needs to keep her house.
00:27:42.961 --> 00:27:43.865
The conservatorship was really bad.
00:27:43.904 --> 00:27:44.728
Yeah, it was fucked up.
00:27:44.728 --> 00:27:45.550
It was really bad.
00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:51.989
That's a wonky situation, but For 13 years she was controlled every move she made.
00:27:51.989 --> 00:27:53.968
I know she's really fucking sad.
00:27:54.721 --> 00:27:55.146
Yeah.
00:27:55.166 --> 00:27:56.401
Okay, just saying.
00:27:56.561 --> 00:27:57.988
It doesn't mean I trust the things you wrote.
00:27:57.988 --> 00:28:00.722
My point is at the end of the book.
00:28:00.762 --> 00:28:07.344
My best friend asked me he is like are you team, justin or team?
00:28:07.365 --> 00:28:10.310
britney now and I was like team apathy, team apathy, I'm kind of team.
00:28:10.310 --> 00:28:13.645
I'm kind of team britney, because I just feel so fucking bad for her.
00:28:13.986 --> 00:28:17.232
She was dealt a really bad hand at every turn.
00:28:17.232 --> 00:28:19.865
Everyone she trusted fucking took advantage of her.
00:28:19.965 --> 00:28:24.871
Yeah, and it's just that's just that world, though everyone in that business does I?
00:28:25.132 --> 00:28:30.413
still fucking love Justin and I actually was just discussing when he goes on tour.
00:28:30.454 --> 00:28:35.920
I'm gonna get he's canceling dates, yo, because of your girl Brittany.
00:28:35.920 --> 00:28:38.219
If and when he goes on tour.
00:28:39.349 --> 00:28:44.267
I wanted to buy VIP and I wanted him to sign my arm and I wanted to get a tattoo that's so fucking weird.
00:28:44.287 --> 00:28:45.736
I love him, I sign my arm and I wanted to get a tattoo.
00:28:45.736 --> 00:28:46.420
That's so fucking weird.
00:28:46.420 --> 00:28:48.045
I love you.
00:28:48.045 --> 00:28:51.265
I know people do that I still find it really strange.
00:28:51.265 --> 00:28:52.890
We don't want.
00:28:52.890 --> 00:28:54.962
Yeah Well, I don't know.
00:28:54.962 --> 00:28:55.805
I've seen some bad ones.
00:28:56.486 --> 00:28:57.268
There's a red, yeah, maybe.
00:29:00.861 --> 00:29:03.780
There was old as him Fucking, attacking.
00:29:03.840 --> 00:29:04.080
Just.
00:29:05.423 --> 00:29:11.067
I mean, are you going to say, are you saying, I'm not going to be attacked at some point today Because I'm sure?
00:29:11.327 --> 00:29:15.151
I think that's been flowing pretty well Exactly the whole time.
00:29:15.191 --> 00:29:15.872
Exactly.
00:29:15.872 --> 00:29:18.713
Anyway, guys, all right, I think I'm done for a while.
00:29:18.713 --> 00:29:20.655
Yeah, I don't know about that?
00:29:20.736 --> 00:29:23.342
No, no, no, keep it, keep it All right.
00:29:23.362 --> 00:29:27.492
So what we've learned is that Bobo reads sad girl stories and smart.
00:29:27.492 --> 00:29:31.048
While drinking wine and finger banging.
00:29:32.502 --> 00:29:34.730
I wasn't doing that at the same time.
00:29:34.730 --> 00:29:36.789
I still had to go get my kids.
00:29:37.835 --> 00:29:38.740
So no wine was involved.
00:29:39.323 --> 00:29:40.326
No wine was involved.
00:29:40.326 --> 00:29:40.901
Why?
00:29:40.941 --> 00:29:41.925
is my steering wheel sticky.
00:29:42.420 --> 00:29:42.942
You know why.
00:29:43.083 --> 00:29:44.106
Guys, I was at home.
00:29:45.226 --> 00:29:49.970
But you had to go get it yeah, I took a shower after you got dirty.
00:29:49.970 --> 00:29:52.008
Huh, that was a good book.
00:29:52.602 --> 00:29:54.808
I didn't say that you didn't have to.
00:29:57.886 --> 00:30:02.306
I don't know how we always get to here.
00:30:02.801 --> 00:30:05.939
You make it here go back, listen to the audio.
00:30:05.939 --> 00:30:07.246
There's a clear path.
00:30:07.744 --> 00:30:25.468
Well, I guess the only fucking girls that ever made money on their fame had to fucking be slutty, so maybe that's where I'm at she's like in the woods, crying but the fact is that she is more famous than her.
00:30:25.970 --> 00:30:26.731
Monica no.
00:30:28.403 --> 00:30:29.618
Monica has a ran for president.
00:30:29.618 --> 00:30:32.367
She's in every rap song.
00:30:32.489 --> 00:30:32.930
It's true.
00:30:32.930 --> 00:30:37.311
It rhymes with so much what Monica?
00:30:37.311 --> 00:30:44.507
I definitely knew who Monica Lewinsky was before I knew who Hillary Clinton was.
00:30:44.747 --> 00:30:45.067
Yes.
00:30:45.368 --> 00:30:46.372
Generational gap there.
00:30:48.039 --> 00:30:49.699
Yeah, given that that happened before you were born.
00:30:49.699 --> 00:30:51.665
Oh, my goodness.
00:30:52.140 --> 00:30:53.866
We're in the presence of a baby.
00:30:53.866 --> 00:30:55.467
You know I've made the 30th.
00:30:57.284 --> 00:31:01.788
All I'm hearing is you guys are too old.
00:31:01.788 --> 00:31:04.267
Like old man yells at clouds.
00:31:04.839 --> 00:31:07.787
No, no, I get it.
00:31:07.787 --> 00:31:18.686
It's weird, given that, yeah a couple of years ago, seven years ago, one of them was running for president, while one of them and then she cried in the woods.
00:31:18.686 --> 00:31:22.105
That's fucking weird what's crying in the woods.
00:31:22.144 --> 00:31:23.603
What's this about Hillary?
00:31:23.643 --> 00:31:24.185
went in the.
00:31:24.185 --> 00:31:24.760
What do you mean?
00:31:24.760 --> 00:31:25.481
That was a whole fucking thing.
00:31:25.481 --> 00:31:25.741
She like went in the woods.
00:31:25.741 --> 00:31:26.021
What's this about?
00:31:26.021 --> 00:31:26.288
Hillary went in the.
00:31:26.288 --> 00:31:26.574
What do you, what do you mean?
00:31:26.574 --> 00:31:26.913
That was a whole fucking thing.
00:31:26.913 --> 00:31:30.204
She like went in the woods and cried what after the uh?
00:31:30.204 --> 00:31:32.684
Yeah, after she lost to Trump what?
00:31:34.346 --> 00:31:37.729
that's the first time I'm hearing it bring up your Q&A on site, please.
00:31:37.729 --> 00:31:38.923
I'm curious, I don't know.
00:31:38.923 --> 00:31:39.728
I'm on my way.
00:31:40.903 --> 00:31:42.844
Hillary in the woods crying.
00:31:42.844 --> 00:31:44.067
She's crying like a witch.
00:31:44.662 --> 00:31:44.943
Burn her.
00:31:44.943 --> 00:31:45.467
Her tampon was too small.
00:31:45.467 --> 00:31:46.471
That's just where the Hillary in the woods crying.
00:31:46.471 --> 00:31:47.095
She's crying like a witch.
00:31:47.095 --> 00:31:47.276
Burn her.
00:31:47.276 --> 00:31:49.027
That's just where the email server was.
00:31:49.027 --> 00:31:51.527
That's just where the email server was.
00:31:51.527 --> 00:31:52.784
She just had to go delete it.
00:31:52.784 --> 00:31:54.410
It's Halloween.
00:31:55.519 --> 00:31:56.061
Hiking.
00:31:56.061 --> 00:32:04.221
A day after conceding US election, went for a hike with her husband near their New York home, hugging a supporter and exchanging.
00:32:04.221 --> 00:32:07.263
Yeah, she was in the woods, she like did an interview.
00:32:07.325 --> 00:32:09.867
Yeah, she's like she went for a walk in the woods.
00:32:10.099 --> 00:32:12.741
Yeah, there's a fucking picture I didn't make it up.
00:32:12.741 --> 00:32:13.707
Well, that's okay.
00:32:13.707 --> 00:32:16.528
She was so sad that she lost.
00:32:16.528 --> 00:32:19.406
She was just so sad.
00:32:20.519 --> 00:32:22.641
She should be sad that she robbed Bernie of the chance.
00:32:22.641 --> 00:32:25.067
Yeah, that's more accurate.
00:32:25.147 --> 00:32:31.964
I really don't want to go politics, not when things are the way they are.
00:32:31.984 --> 00:32:34.728
But the fact is she didn't flash her tits to become famous.
00:32:34.728 --> 00:32:36.104
Who did Well?
00:32:36.104 --> 00:32:37.161
She's saying every woman did Well.
00:32:37.181 --> 00:32:39.940
her fucking husband cheated on her, so maybe she should have flashed some tits.
00:32:40.099 --> 00:32:41.683
She just set back womanhood.
00:32:41.683 --> 00:32:43.688
You know fucking decades.
00:32:44.209 --> 00:32:45.211
Oh, come on guys.
00:32:48.441 --> 00:32:50.337
I was saying, maybe I bring up sex so that I can be popular.
00:32:50.962 --> 00:32:52.077
That's what I was trying to say.
00:32:52.077 --> 00:32:54.086
You've got to be better at it.
00:32:54.741 --> 00:32:56.567
Better at sex, what?
00:32:56.567 --> 00:32:57.549
Try yourself.
00:32:57.549 --> 00:32:58.291
She's great.
00:33:00.761 --> 00:33:01.505
I've never complained.
00:33:03.801 --> 00:33:06.577
Anyway, guys, yeah, this is why Anyway, guys yeah.
00:33:07.261 --> 00:33:08.284
This is why we invite her.
00:33:09.227 --> 00:33:13.488
Yeah, like a babo, babo baboing.
00:33:14.622 --> 00:33:19.986
Just being myself, you're actually reaching for the fire extinguisher, the force is not with you, Padawan.
00:33:21.520 --> 00:33:22.163
You know how that works.
00:33:22.163 --> 00:33:25.335
Right, you set your cans down and you get your ass up.
00:33:25.718 --> 00:33:26.079
That sucks.
00:33:26.079 --> 00:33:27.624
Do we need to go for a drink?
00:33:27.624 --> 00:33:31.462
Run, yeah, okay, well Hit it intern, guys.
00:33:31.462 --> 00:33:36.614
That's this week's episode of the full fucking Pelican thing.
00:33:36.614 --> 00:33:38.063
We'll see you next time, guys.
00:33:38.063 --> 00:33:38.865
Wow, bye, bye, bye.