Ep. 130 - Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

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Okay, one, that's annoying as ship do don't touch the skull,
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leave the skull alone. That is not good for podcasting, dude, So.
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It's good for asmr s. Listen, listen.
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Oh yeah, who doesn't want what sounds like creatures at
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my door? Okay, seriously, I get this.
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Everyone else feeling relaxed.
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The joke is landed, but I need you to stop forever.
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Thank you. Are you done now? Probably not. We'll probably
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bring that back up later in the episode. Well, Zule's
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Pete in the studio, so I guess this is hers
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now and she's gonna do the podcast from now on.
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So I had to clean that up. That was fun.
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But today what and now she's sleeping on the job,
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Thank god. Today we're doing Bronstokers or bram Stokers. I
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don't know however you want to say it. It's like
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Aunt and Aunt, I say Bronstokers, ord, I don't know
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how what Bromstoker is. Dracula. That's the movie we're doing today,
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that hot dumpster garbage movie. But it it's gonna be
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a lot of fun to talk about. And I have
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two canker stores in my mouth right now. So that's
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fun makes it really easy to talk. So you're gonna
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do a lot of the reviewing because I don't. I
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don't have it any don't worry.
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I got lots of thoughts and feelings.
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Oh so do I. But this is episode one and thirty.
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I am your host, Austin procteror that is your other host,
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Gabrielle Proctor.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, but before we get into the movie, there's plenty
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of things we have to discuss. One, I need to
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slow down because I already am talking at rocket speed.
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Here to drop your phone. But yes, I would like
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to talk about Scream because you get first DIBs on
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that since it's one of your favorite franchises, if not
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all time franchise and horror.
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And then it is my favorite franchise, yes.
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Of all genres?
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Yeah, oh okay, I don't know what do you think
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my favorite was?
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I have no idea, But there's more than just horror movies, obviously,
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so I wasn't.
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Sure if that was, Oh, you mean of all franchise Okay,
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so I guess yeah, that'd be my favorite horror franchise.
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Yeah, I was gonna say it's not your all time
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overall favorite franchise. It can't be.
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What's my favorite franchise?
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Fucking no, dude, it's your friend. Let's figure that out
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on another episode.
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I don't know.
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Okay, well we'll come back to that. So yeah, let's
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let's let's get into scream. No no spoilers, or we
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can go full the.
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Killer is No, I'm kidding. That would ruin it. No,
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we should not spoil it because it was too good.
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I'm not disagreeing with you, but you know, we could say,
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you know, fast forward five minutes and go into full spoilers.
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But no, fine, whatever, I can't hear anything anymore.
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You can't hear anything? No, what do you mean?
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Like, I can't hear inside my headphones?
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It's on. I don't know. Okay, hello, you're literally on,
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so I have no idea.
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I can't hear me. I think that's what it is.
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Why are you always with.
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The setting because you were super because you're super loud.
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I'm trying to adjust it. You're usually very quiet, and
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today you're like screaming in my ears. So I'm trying to.
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Like, oh, whatever, okay, so we're going to continue with
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what we're doing.
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I mean, yeah, it doesn't.
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Make is that better yes, now I can hear better.
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You made me turn it down, and then now you're like, okay, here,
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well you had.
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Have blasted before. It didn't mean turn it off. That's different.
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You're just talking about the movie.
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Okay. So Scream also known as Scream five. It's a
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really good movie. It you know, you get you're you
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get the old cast back the new cast. Just pretty fun.
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They definitely continue the long Scream tradition of making fun
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of themselves and making fun of the genre in general.
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Well also uh poking fun at some of the newer genres.
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And I actually saw someone today point out that it
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very much vibes with uh toxic fandom and like they
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kind of make fun of how crazy fans can be
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and like just how overly invested in projects and the like.
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You could just enjoy it instead of taking it so
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weirdly seriously. But it was really good. We were laughing
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the whole time. Great violence. I'm gonna say that was
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the gorious Scream because there's been gore in Scream, but
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they lingered on the gore in this one.
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Lingered on the gore.
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Yeah, Like they held the shots longer. Like okay, so
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think about.
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Oh the stab through the neck. That's a great that's
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a great example of going past what I thought you would.
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Yeah, so, like beginning of the original Scream, for instance,
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when Casey is hung up in the tree, they kind
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of zoom in on it, but it was too violent
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at the time, so they had to like do this
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film technique where they took out some of the frames
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to make it look more disjointed and they wouldn't focus
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on it so hard. This film, however, Yeah, when they
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killed somebody, they held on to it. You saw them dying,
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and yeah, I think it was definitely the most violent
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of them.
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Violent, very bloody. Yeahorious stab through the neck where the
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knife came out the other side was ridiculous.
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That was pretty gross.
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That was ridiculous. There's also one very just crazy, out
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of nowhere kill that everyone's talking and it's just like killed.
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You're like holy shit, Like I think all of us
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jumped and we're like what the fuck was that? We
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all just like held our faces like holy shit.
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Yeah.
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Uh but yeah, the uh, the whole elevated horror discussion
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that they had at the I guess that was kind
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of like after do we got involved in the story,
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right when they're all in the in the home. That
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was so fucking funny, And I don't think it was
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meant to be funny. It was well, but like you
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and Spencer looked at me, like, what's so funny, I'm like,
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they're talking about elevated horror and just dropping all these
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names like hereditary, the witch in a mid Summari, I
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think they dropped and there was just so many name
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drops and and like just the conversation itself was it
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was hysterical. I thought it was great just because there
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are I see that in horror groups all that I'm
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where the snobby people are talking about elevated hohrror and
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if you can't understand it, then you know you're not
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intelligent enough. And I'm like, okay, well that's rude as fuck.
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But I just thought that whole camaraderie between them was
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perfection because that is literally something I see. And yeah,
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very funny, very funny, Like I didn't think it would
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be that funny. Dew We was definitely the funniest part
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of that entire movie. He had all the best lines
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in my opinion, and even Gail and Sidney had some
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good lines as well. But Sidney did not hit Gail
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sad because she has hit her in.
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The first two, first three.
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First that it was first two and then four for
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some reason, but whatever. It's too it's kind of a
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running thing where you know.
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You can't befriend somebody after so many The first few times,
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it's like they kind of have a love hate relationship,
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but by the fourth one, it's like you've known each
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other for well over a decade. You can't keep punching
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her in the face. Yeah, as funny as it is
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for the rest of us, it's hilarious.
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Yeah, but I think they did a fantastic job, the
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same people who did Ready or Not. And I think
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we mentioned this before, but yeah, there they go by
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radio silence they did the Scream franchise is very much justice.
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I feel Wes would be extremely proud of what they did.
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And yeah, it was just a it's a perfect example
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of like a equel you know what I mean. And
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that whole equal conversation that they had too was hilarious
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as well. How everything comes back around to the original
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so and it's there's so many fucking red herrings. Oh
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my god, you have the obvious red herring, then you
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have one that you think is the person, but you know,
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it's it's very It's like the most scream movie I
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think I've ever seen.
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And it's fun because they they even poke fun at
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themselves for having so many red herrings because red herrings
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is a big part of scream and so meta. Yeah,
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and they continue to just go, yeah, we know what
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kind of movie we're making, and we're gonna do it
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exactly like this, and we're gonna tell you we're doing
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it while we're doing it, so you know, we fucking.
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Know yeah, because I think I think they were on
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Stab eight in this movie and they're just like, this
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movie is just getting ridiculous. It's it's not even like
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the original. And like you got the ghost Face running
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around with like double wielding fucking machetes in that hut.
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Which is funny because before this came out, this said
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the trailer for this had come out after Terrifier too,
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and everybody was losing their shit saying that ghost Face
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scream was ripping off the Terrifier True two trailer with
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the flamethrower thing at the same angle and everything, and
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then it later turned and then when you see the movie,
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it turns out that's a trailer for STAB eight, and
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they're just making fun of stuff. So the irony is
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like and then you've got fans getting really upset and
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really stressed out and really worked up without even really
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knowing what's going on, and it's like you kind of
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just lent yourself to the movie by getting so up
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in arms without having actual context.
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Well, yeah, because they released like a screenshot of ghost
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Face with the flamethrower, so you thought that that would
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be because it it also because the the one that
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was using it in the movie was the was the
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ghost Face with like the cutoff sleeves, and from the
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picture it looks like ghost Face was going to use
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a flamethrower. So I got why they were upset because
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of what you just said. But yeah, then you find
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out it's just part of like you know, Stab eight,
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and you're like, Okay, well now I'm not mad anymore.
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That's actually kind of funny.
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Yeah, it is funny, and it's actually funnier that people
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got to upset about it.
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I you know, I agreed with that. I was like, yeah,
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that is kind of fucked up. But yeah, now after
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the fact, I'm.
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Like, wait, yeah, context, it's just funny.
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Yeah, with context now it's just kind of funny. So yeah,
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we got to watch that in Dolby. That was a
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fantastic Dolby experience. I highly recommend that ten out of ten.
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That's obviously gonna show up later in the year. Well,
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I mean, that was a really good opening this year
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for horror movies. I know last year was Saint Maud
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and that was also a strong start, and we watched
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that back in February of twenty twenty one. But we're
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already off to a solid start with horror movies and
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I'm very excited to see how the rest of the
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year plays out. Because I did not I didn't know.
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I didn't really know what to expect going into this,
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you know what I mean. It was either going to
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be a movie that did extremely well or it was
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going to be one that fell victim to you know,
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being the fifth movie in a series and it not
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and it being kind of like on the fence. But
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this did so well.
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And Scream continues to prove that it is a solid franchise,
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and it's their self awareness that really carries them through.
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They stick to their they honestly stick so closely to
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their formula and they are so self aware of that
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that it's hard to go wrong. It's not, which ironically
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they do also talk about in the film. It's not
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like other franchises like Nightmare on Elm Street, where they
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just went off the rails at some point and your
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guys are like, what what happened? What was wrong with
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being like, oh, we came back to life and just
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started killing more kids. No, they had to get more
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and more complicated and skew more and more from the formula,
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and you're like, it doesn't work, and Scream just proves
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like we're staying where we are and it works.
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Well. They have such a strict like formula. It's like
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every movie is like so formulaic, but somehow they manage
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to throw you off the scent of who the killer
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is every fucking time. Every time I've watched a Scream movie,
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I'm like, oh shit, I mean, like I kind of
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saw that coming, but I didn't because I didn't want
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it to be that, But it ended up ended up
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being that killer, you know what I mean. Like the
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first one is like so obvious.
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And they even do a callback to the second movie. Yeah,
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Oh yes, that's right, they do which was I was
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so happy about. But yeah, they do a great job.
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Jesus.
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Sydney's even talking about how ridiculously formulaic the events of
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the film are as they're happening. She's like, oh, this
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is typical.
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It is literally the most meta movie I've ever watched. Like,
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just when you think Scream can't get any more meta
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or be more self aware, do you watch this one?
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Yep?
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Like, we sure, and it's funny too, because yeah, I'd
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say this is probably the most consistent besides Saw. But
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I know me and Spencer are are pretty much alone
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in that, so I'd say Scream is probably the most
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widely accepted consistent because really the only one that's not
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that great is three. You know, one, two, four, and
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this one now are all solid fucking movies, but three,
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you know, it's.
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A little still not bad.
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It's well, that's what I'm saying. It's that it's not bad.
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It's just not like I feel like it's not on
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par with the other four. But yeah, it's not bad
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in any way. I think I gave that one a three,
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Like it's still good. It's just a little silly, but.
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Uh, certainly way above some other sequels and other franchises.
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Oh yeah, for sure. So it's just funny that. Yeah,
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Scream is extremely consistent and they don't stray away from
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their formula, and they managed to keep you on your
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toes and every movie, I think.
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Their original cast, which is hard to do because most
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of them would have tapped out by now, and they're like, nah,
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we like this is fun. You have a divorced couple
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who met on the film and later got divorced, and
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they're still like Corney Cox and why can't I think
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of his name now?
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I almost said Jake Jellenhall and that's not that's not
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right at all. Come on, you got this?
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Just tell me because it makes me crazy.
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But I don't know, I can't remember. Yeah. See David Arkette.
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David Arqutte, the two of them met on Scream, got married,
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got divorced, and they're still like, nah, this is our franchise.
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We're coming back. And they're like, still on really good
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terms and continue to do the films together. And that's
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actually really unusual because most people are like, nah, we
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were married, I'm not going near you.
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Well, that's the same thing that happens in Dexter. You know,
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Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter met on Dexter I
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believe got married and then later divorced but still kept
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doing the season. So yeah, that is extremely rare to
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happen and send them on TV and stuff like that.
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But yeah, that whole scene between them and the movie,
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you could tell there was some definite emotion, like real
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emotion behind that, that whole scene they had when they
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met at the crime scene. Oh my god. Oh and
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be prepared and that one they don't hold back from
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killing people. So just get your tissues. God damn, I knew,
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shouldn't have put that trash down there. Just get your
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tissues ready, bring those to the theaters. But yeah, I
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solid movie. Can't say my rating on it because it's
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gonna come up. What do you need, garage band, what
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do you need?
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00:15:05.759 --> 00:15:07.399
Well, maybe we should get over to the movie because
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we've been talking about this for one for fifteen minutes.
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Well we didn't start talking till about like five minutes then.
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But yeah, so definitely go see Scream. That is out
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now in theaters and if it's in Dolby, go see
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it in your local Adobe theater. I just want to
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mention some movies that came in the mail recently, and
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then we'll move on to the movie.
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If that's cool, fine, But brief discussions on those movies,
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you drag that out.
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Well, you know, we do have some more time to
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fill with.
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We have to talk about this movie, and I'm ready
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to talk about.
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It, all right, all right, all right, all right. Amidst
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all of the stuff that came in here for highlights,
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I wanted to mention I got troll Hunter, which we
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reviewed on this podcast for five dollars. That was an
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00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:48.240
amazing find. If you haven't seen this, this is a
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00:15:48.279 --> 00:15:52.799
great found footage either Swedish or Norwegian, I can't remember.
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I believe it's Swedish. Great found footage movie. I got
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00:15:56.759 --> 00:15:59.960
The Sacrament, which is a ty West movie. Eli Rob
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00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:04.200
also presents this movie. Another found footage movie, and it's
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got the guy I can't remember his name, but it's
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that guy from your next and he's also been in
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The Signal. He's a really great actor. I don't know
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00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:16.399
what your name is, dude, I'm so sorry, but yeah,
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00:16:16.440 --> 00:16:19.799
The Sacrament is another it's almost it's I think it's
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00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:24.480
loosely based on Jim Jones and the whole Massacre, Jonestown Massacre. Yeah,
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00:16:24.519 --> 00:16:26.919
I'm pretty sure it's loosely based on that. It's very,
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00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:31.080
very good. I love watching this one. I got Titane,
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00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:34.360
which is a film by the lady who did Raw,
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00:16:34.799 --> 00:16:36.440
and I didn't get to see this last year when
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it was in theaters, so I just pre ordered the
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Blu ray and it came in a couple of days ago.
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So this is something I'd like to watch with you.
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00:16:42.360 --> 00:16:45.399
We should probably double feature Raw and this, because you've
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never seen Raw and that movie is crazy. Do you
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want to see this or can I watch this with
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Spencer or what? Go for it, Spencer.
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00:16:53.159 --> 00:16:54.200
The cover seems like a.
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Lot fine whatever missing out And then last, but certainly
349
00:16:58.039 --> 00:17:01.440
not least, we have vest run extras edition or collectors
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00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:04.640
series candy Man Day of the Dead. This is the
351
00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:07.480
third one, and I know this one's not great. I've
352
00:17:07.480 --> 00:17:10.240
seen the reviews, but I mean, Tony Todd is still
353
00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:11.559
in it, you know what I mean. So I'm like,
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I gotta at least give it a try. I've seen
355
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the first one, the original obviously, and the sequel candy
356
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Man Farewell to the Flesh, which is also on its
357
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way here. That one was actually a pretty solid sequel.
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00:17:23.200 --> 00:17:25.160
It takes place in New Orleans, and it's like a
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really like it's obviously not as good as the original,
360
00:17:27.640 --> 00:17:30.279
but it's super fun. So and also this art on
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00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:33.240
this is amazing. Yeah, it's pretty solid. So I gotta
362
00:17:33.319 --> 00:17:34.759
check that out at some point. But those are some
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00:17:34.839 --> 00:17:37.079
movies I got recently, Oh god, and I'm gonna throw
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them at you. Then I'm excited to check out. And
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I guess I'll watch Titanus Spencer whatever. Fine, cool, glad
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we settled that. Yeah, whatever, dude, All right, let's go
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to the movie. Like I said, doing Brownstokers Dracula. This
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is from nineteen ninety two, released on November thirteenth in
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the United States. This is rated R for severe sex
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and nudity, severe violence and gore, severe frightening and intense
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and intensive scenes, mild profanity, and mild alcohol, drugs and smoking.
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Did they do drugs in this? What drugs were they doing?
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Oh shit? Oh that's right, I forgot about that. This
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has a run time of two hours and eight minutes,
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00:18:16.799 --> 00:18:20.920
and you feel every second of this. This movie, oh boy,
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00:18:21.640 --> 00:18:25.640
listed as a drama fantasy, horror, romance. We should also
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00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:28.720
just put uh, maybe Porno in there as well, because
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this movie is so fucking horny, just like just like
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Howard the Duck that we watched recently for the first time,
380
00:18:36.319 --> 00:18:40.400
first of all dumpster Fire. Also, it's such a horny movie.
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00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:43.039
We've been watching extremely like horny movies.
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00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:45.720
Lately accidentally and only watching the movie and we're like,
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00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:47.759
why is this movie so horny?
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00:18:47.839 --> 00:18:51.359
Horny? Uh? This is directed by a man named Francis
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Ford Coppola.
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You don't know him.
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00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:55.319
You probably have no idea who he is. He only
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00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:57.799
he did these movies called The Godfather. I don't I
389
00:18:57.839 --> 00:19:02.119
don't know. You never heard of those. Obviously, we're kidding.
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00:19:02.119 --> 00:19:06.640
That's sarcasm and good god. I mean, this cast, if
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00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:09.920
it's got one good thing, it's got a good cast.
392
00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:13.279
I'll give it that. Because we have Gary Oldman as Dracula.
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00:19:13.640 --> 00:19:16.079
I mean, what, what hasn't this guy been in. He's
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00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:19.839
usually a guy that you don't even recognize, like this movie,
395
00:19:19.880 --> 00:19:22.599
because he's got makeup on or he's got some sort
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00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:25.319
of crazy hair going. But you probably know him as
397
00:19:25.319 --> 00:19:27.920
Gordon from the the Nolan Batman movies. That's probably the
398
00:19:27.960 --> 00:19:31.240
safest bet for people to pick him out in. But yeah,
399
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:34.559
he's a fantastic actor. And then we have Winona Ryder
400
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:38.319
as Mina Murray Slash Eliza Betta probably said that terribly,
401
00:19:40.559 --> 00:19:43.880
Lisa Beta. She was in Heathers as Veronica Girl Interrupted
402
00:19:43.880 --> 00:19:47.039
as Susannah, but all you youngins probably know her from
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00:19:47.119 --> 00:19:49.160
Stranger Things as Joyce Buyers.
404
00:19:49.279 --> 00:19:51.160
She's also been in a shit ton of moviies.
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00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:53.119
Oh no, I know, I just tried to pick, you know,
406
00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:55.240
the main ones, but yeah, you probably if you haven't
407
00:19:55.240 --> 00:19:58.400
heard of those two movies and Stranger Things as Will's Mom.
408
00:19:58.839 --> 00:20:01.920
Then we have Anthony Hopkins as Professor Abraham van Helsing
409
00:20:02.039 --> 00:20:05.519
probably most are sorry, most notably as Hannibal Elector from
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00:20:05.519 --> 00:20:08.359
the Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal. But I mean
411
00:20:08.359 --> 00:20:11.400
he's done like one hundred and forty other fucking things,
412
00:20:11.400 --> 00:20:14.759
so he been acting too. Then we have Keanu Reeves
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00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:18.279
as Jonathan Harker, yet another person you probably never heard of.
414
00:20:19.079 --> 00:20:21.000
You know, he did this thing called The Matrix and
415
00:20:21.039 --> 00:20:23.480
he was he was neo in that, I don't know.
416
00:20:24.279 --> 00:20:28.359
Then we have Richard E. Grant as doctor Jack Seward Seaward. However,
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00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:31.720
you say that I did not recognize his name or face,
418
00:20:31.799 --> 00:20:35.000
but he has like also one hundred and forty fucking credits.
419
00:20:35.599 --> 00:20:39.000
You might know him from Gosford Park as George Question.
420
00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:43.319
I would know you might also, I mean Little Vampires. Yeah,
421
00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:45.000
he was the dad and Little Vampires. He's one of
422
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:47.759
those guys who's also just did so many random things.
423
00:20:47.880 --> 00:20:49.720
Yeah, he is in a whole bunch of random shit.
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00:20:49.920 --> 00:20:52.680
That and like I said, did not recognize face or name,
425
00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:56.920
but he been acting, that's for sure. And last, but
426
00:20:56.960 --> 00:20:59.640
most certainly not least, we have carry Yules as Lord
427
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:03.359
Arthur Holmewood. I first was introduced to him and saw.
428
00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:06.559
I know that's probably not how anybody was introduced to him,
429
00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:10.119
but you probably know him from Robinhood man in Tights
430
00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:14.039
as Robinhood, or Princess Bride as Wesley, or again the
431
00:21:14.119 --> 00:21:16.279
other things he's done. He's been in Liar, Liar, you know,
432
00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:16.880
I mean, he's.
433
00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:17.759
Been in in psych.
434
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:19.640
Yeah, he's been in a whole bunch of shit. So,
435
00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:21.720
I mean, and I could have kept going with this,
436
00:21:21.960 --> 00:21:24.559
I cut it off here because there's still so many
437
00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:26.200
other people I could have mentioned, but I was like,
438
00:21:26.279 --> 00:21:29.240
six is enough. So you've got a very star studded
439
00:21:29.319 --> 00:21:33.400
cast in this, and one of them his heart was
440
00:21:33.400 --> 00:21:35.440
not in it. We'll get to that. This had an
441
00:21:35.519 --> 00:21:38.799
estimated budget of forty million dollars and a worldwide box
442
00:21:38.839 --> 00:21:42.160
office gross of two hundred and fifteen point nine million dollars.
443
00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:47.640
This movie actually saved Francis Fort Coppola's production company or
444
00:21:47.640 --> 00:21:49.680
something like that. Yeah, yeah, I read that in trivia.
445
00:21:49.720 --> 00:21:51.000
I didn't put it in there because I wanted to
446
00:21:51.000 --> 00:21:54.440
mention it here, but yeah, that'll do it. That'll definitely
447
00:21:54.480 --> 00:21:57.720
save a production company that's like one hundred and seventy
448
00:21:57.759 --> 00:22:01.000
five million dollars in profit, So good for you. This
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00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:05.440
movie was filmed at Universal Studios, California, Culver City, California,
450
00:22:05.799 --> 00:22:09.359
Sony Pictures in California, and the Saint Sophia Greek Orthodox
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00:22:09.440 --> 00:22:13.119
Cathedral in Los Angeles from October fourteenth, nineteen ninety one,
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00:22:13.160 --> 00:22:17.640
through January thirty first, nineteen ninety two. You can watch
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00:22:17.640 --> 00:22:21.799
this on Netflix. Wait, that's not right. That's not right.
454
00:22:22.599 --> 00:22:25.839
I think I misspoke. Stand by, because we watched it.
455
00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:27.200
Is it? Is it? Really?
456
00:22:27.319 --> 00:22:27.559
Yeah?
457
00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:30.319
Oh okay, because we watched it on the four K
458
00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:32.759
that I had for some reason. I don't know. Let
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00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:34.720
me just double check for sure. I don't want to
460
00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:38.039
give you false information, Yes, Netflix, where you can rent
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00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:40.000
it on Amazon and rent it on Voodoo, but I
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00:22:40.079 --> 00:22:43.119
go with the free option on Amazon. So, like I said,
463
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we watched the four K movies that came out. Okay,
464
00:22:45.559 --> 00:22:47.799
listen to these movies that came out around the same time.
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I mean, holy shit. We have The Mighty Ducks, Reservoir Dogs,
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00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:57.519
the Original Candy Man, Doctor Giggles, Aladdin again, Original Aladdin,
467
00:22:58.319 --> 00:23:01.759
Malcolm X Home Alone, Lost in New York, a Few
468
00:23:01.799 --> 00:23:05.319
Good Men, and the Muppets Christmas Carol. Imagine being alive
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00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:07.799
at this time when you can, like you know, I
470
00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:10.119
was obviously alive, but I wasn't going to the movies
471
00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:13.119
and having to pick from all of those movies, how
472
00:23:13.119 --> 00:23:17.400
do you decide what to see? Go. I knew you
473
00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:20.440
were gonna say that, jeez, but yeah, that's a whole
474
00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:23.200
lot of fucking amazing movies to come out around that time.
475
00:23:23.319 --> 00:23:24.359
I thought that was impressive.
476
00:23:24.440 --> 00:23:26.279
I was like two, so it probably wouldn't have seen
477
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any of them.
478
00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:30.000
Well, that's yeah, that's what I just said. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
479
00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:34.599
all right. So I did you have a specific horror moment, ma'am?
480
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:37.200
Now, really, no, I really didn't.
481
00:23:37.319 --> 00:23:40.839
Okay, I had, uh wherever it went, that's not it,
482
00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:44.759
where's fucking goddamn podcast. There we go, all right, So
483
00:23:44.799 --> 00:23:48.480
my specific horror moment was wherever it went. Oh yeah,
484
00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:51.559
when one of the characters. I will just say, when
485
00:23:51.640 --> 00:23:54.440
Lucy dies, all the blood that just spurts from every
486
00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:58.240
corner of the room into the air. Completely unnecessary, but
487
00:23:58.359 --> 00:23:59.079
fucking awesome.
488
00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:02.640
He could say, when she climbs back into her crypt,
489
00:24:02.680 --> 00:24:04.279
and they did it as or a verse shot. That
490
00:24:04.359 --> 00:24:04.960
was pretty cool.
491
00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:06.920
Nice, Yeah, that's a guy. I didn't put that in
492
00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:08.519
the trivia because I knew you'd mention it and there
493
00:24:08.559 --> 00:24:11.200
you go. Do we have a favorite kill?
494
00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:14.359
There really wasn't enough kills for that.
495
00:24:15.240 --> 00:24:18.680
You have one? No, Lucy's beheading it was fucking metal, dude,
496
00:24:18.960 --> 00:24:21.200
that was so metal. That was her second death too.
497
00:24:22.039 --> 00:24:24.000
Do we have a favorite I didn't have a favorite line.
498
00:24:24.119 --> 00:24:26.799
There was not really anything that was mentionable or funny.
499
00:24:26.920 --> 00:24:31.039
So I did like the line that he said, but
500
00:24:31.079 --> 00:24:33.240
it's not really funny or anything. I just like the
501
00:24:33.319 --> 00:24:36.319
eye have crossed oceans of time to find you. Apparently
502
00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:39.400
that's what sold Gary Oldman ondoing the film is so
503
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:41.200
he could say that line to somebody. Yeah, I read
504
00:24:41.240 --> 00:24:43.680
that I do like the line. That's a good line.
505
00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:48.119
My favorite character, van helsing Anthony Hopkins is pretty much
506
00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:50.640
due to the fact of him being Anthony Hopkins. And
507
00:24:50.680 --> 00:24:51.240
he killed it.
508
00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:55.200
Yeah, he was too chaotic for me, especially when he
509
00:24:55.319 --> 00:24:59.240
starts like humping Quincy in a sarcastic motion.
510
00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:02.079
Was it was a lot well, and to me, he
511
00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:04.880
had the strongest performance because everyone kind of felt like
512
00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:07.559
they were phoning it in and kind of had really
513
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:11.039
terrible accents, and Anthony Hopkins kind of already you know,
514
00:25:11.079 --> 00:25:13.160
he's already has the British accent. I think he put
515
00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:16.440
a little finesse on it or something to sound a
516
00:25:16.440 --> 00:25:17.400
little different.
517
00:25:17.119 --> 00:25:19.599
But he was being German so well.
518
00:25:19.640 --> 00:25:22.960
That did not sound German. Jeez, but whatever, I mean,
519
00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:26.799
he he had the strongest performance for me, Lee's favorite
520
00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:27.839
or no, your favorite character.
521
00:25:27.880 --> 00:25:33.000
Sorry, it's Quincy, uh, but it's kind of Quincy and Arthur,
522
00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:35.400
because you got to think about this, There's three guys
523
00:25:35.400 --> 00:25:40.720
who wanted to marry Lucy. She picks Arthur, but Quincy
524
00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:44.599
still sticks around the whole time to be a supportive friend,
525
00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:48.079
to be there to help her, and he is he
526
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:51.279
literally isn't even from the same town. He's from America,
527
00:25:51.400 --> 00:25:55.039
and he still sticks around to be there for all
528
00:25:55.079 --> 00:25:58.279
of those people who he honestly should not actually know
529
00:25:58.359 --> 00:26:00.640
that well, but he's just sticks around to be a
530
00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:03.759
good guy. And him and Arthur just being buddies despite
531
00:26:03.839 --> 00:26:07.640
being rivals. Yeah, I love it. I would have also
532
00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:09.799
said Jack, but.
533
00:26:10.119 --> 00:26:11.759
You get one, not three, lady.
534
00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:15.319
It's the buddy system. But John was kind of weird
535
00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:17.839
with his morphine addiction. So it's really just Quincy and Arthur,
536
00:26:17.880 --> 00:26:19.119
but mostly Quincy.
537
00:26:19.079 --> 00:26:24.240
Mostly cute. Okay. Least favorite character of mine was who
538
00:26:24.279 --> 00:26:27.759
the fuck? Oh Lucy? She was annoying and kind of
539
00:26:27.759 --> 00:26:30.720
a horror if I'm being honest, kind of was getting around.
540
00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:33.240
That's sexist, that's not sexist.
541
00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:36.039
They also wrote her to be way hornier than she is.
542
00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:38.720
Okay, sorry, sorry, let me reel that back. Okay, maybe
543
00:26:38.759 --> 00:26:40.799
not like a horror, but she was like she was
544
00:26:41.160 --> 00:26:44.240
all talk, but she did fuck the.
545
00:26:44.799 --> 00:26:47.039
Yes, but she was under his thrall, So keep in
546
00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:49.359
mind most of the time when that happens, they're not
547
00:26:49.640 --> 00:26:52.759
in control. They are being lured.
548
00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:54.759
Okay, Well, she was making out with a lot of
549
00:26:54.799 --> 00:26:57.599
fucking guys and trying to make out with like one
550
00:26:57.640 --> 00:26:59.759
person in front of her fiance and you're just like
551
00:27:01.400 --> 00:27:02.279
l it in worst.
552
00:27:02.279 --> 00:27:04.599
You can say she was a tease because she was
553
00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:05.160
all tough.
554
00:27:05.319 --> 00:27:08.240
Fine, I'll recant that she's just a tease. Whatever. I
555
00:27:08.279 --> 00:27:15.200
didn't like her. She was annoying, and then I think
556
00:27:15.240 --> 00:27:18.200
that was it. Yeah, it was. Well besides your what
557
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:20.319
said your least favorite I'm trying to Yeah, have these
558
00:27:20.319 --> 00:27:24.200
in a different order. Least favorite character, everyone else, everyone else,
559
00:27:24.759 --> 00:27:25.359
anybody else?
560
00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:31.599
Oh my god, Okay, come on. Jonathan's non existent. Mina
561
00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:39.319
is like seriously, yeah, priorities. Dude is well, we all
562
00:27:39.359 --> 00:27:43.960
know what he is. Van Hilsing is very manic. Yeah,
563
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:50.720
Jack's a jug addict, Rainfield is nutter, Butter's like Lucy.
564
00:27:50.920 --> 00:27:52.000
We already discussed that.
565
00:27:53.720 --> 00:27:57.200
All right, that's fair. I'm okay with that.
566
00:27:58.079 --> 00:28:00.759
Yeah. The only person who wasn't work looking off self
567
00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:04.519
interest was Quincy because even Arthur, you know, he's interested
568
00:28:04.559 --> 00:28:08.119
in saving his would be bride. Quincy's literally just there
569
00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:08.559
as a friend.
570
00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:12.400
You're like, I'm a friend. All right, that's fair, that's fair.
571
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:16.920
Let's see here, So a brief brief description. Here, we
572
00:28:17.079 --> 00:28:20.759
have the centuries old vampire Count Dracula comes to England.
573
00:28:20.759 --> 00:28:25.240
To subduce his barrister, Jonathan Harker's fiance Mina Muri an
574
00:28:25.319 --> 00:28:30.240
inflict havoc in the foreign land bomb bom um. That's
575
00:28:30.279 --> 00:28:33.960
what I said, Mina Murray, he said, Mary me, whatever
576
00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:34.519
fucking want.
577
00:28:36.119 --> 00:28:39.160
And in case you don't know, a barrister is as
578
00:28:39.200 --> 00:28:40.880
a lawyer, thank.
579
00:28:40.799 --> 00:28:42.119
You for dropping that knowledge.
580
00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:43.319
Not everybody knows.
581
00:28:43.480 --> 00:28:43.960
I didn't know.
582
00:28:44.359 --> 00:28:46.920
I only know that because of a fish called Wanda.
583
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:50.240
Well now you know, yeah, well now everyone knows lawyer.
584
00:28:53.119 --> 00:28:54.440
Things happen in a weird order.
585
00:28:54.839 --> 00:28:58.759
Just start from sixty two. Oh crap, I'm gonna start
586
00:28:58.799 --> 00:28:59.920
from fourteen sixty two.
587
00:29:00.839 --> 00:29:05.440
Okay. So Dracula is human wearing the dumbest armor of
588
00:29:05.480 --> 00:29:08.720
all time. It's supposed to look so cool, but like
589
00:29:09.079 --> 00:29:11.759
it looks so impractical and also looks like it's made
590
00:29:11.799 --> 00:29:12.200
of plastic.
591
00:29:12.240 --> 00:29:13.799
What did I say it look like?
592
00:29:13.960 --> 00:29:15.039
He said, it looked like.
593
00:29:16.200 --> 00:29:20.480
It looked like someone like like peeled stripes into a beat.
594
00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:25.200
And he's supposed to look like muscle and tendons, but
595
00:29:25.480 --> 00:29:29.480
it just looks like red plastic armor. So he's going
596
00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:33.559
to fight a war with the Turks and his lady
597
00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:38.880
love Elizabetha, who is played by Wenona writer, because why
598
00:29:38.880 --> 00:29:42.920
wouldn't she be. Uh, it is so sad he's leaving,
599
00:29:43.079 --> 00:29:45.559
he is going and fighting in the war. He's gone
600
00:29:45.640 --> 00:29:48.559
for a long time. And then in the meantime, apparently
601
00:29:48.680 --> 00:29:52.440
a bunch of rogue turks felt like being real dicks,
602
00:29:53.279 --> 00:29:58.079
and they go to his house, his castle, shoot an
603
00:29:58.240 --> 00:30:01.079
arrow through a window with a note that says he's dead.
604
00:30:02.119 --> 00:30:08.039
Apparently Elizabetha is not entirely clear on war tactics or
605
00:30:08.200 --> 00:30:12.839
that lies exist, because she just yeats herself out a
606
00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:14.359
window and into the river.
607
00:30:16.039 --> 00:30:19.200
That was my think, my favorite part of the whole movie.
608
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:22.079
Was just because she's not even she's not even like
609
00:30:22.440 --> 00:30:27.039
flail falling. It's clearly like they have her pretending like
610
00:30:27.119 --> 00:30:29.400
she's falling. Her hair's not even going in the right direction.
611
00:30:29.799 --> 00:30:31.720
And then they're like blowing wind in her face and
612
00:30:31.799 --> 00:30:35.839
just recording her in motion. Because they use that scene
613
00:30:35.880 --> 00:30:38.039
several times, you get a lot of a lot of
614
00:30:38.039 --> 00:30:42.799
shots of that exact scene several times over. So she
615
00:30:43.480 --> 00:30:49.359
bites it and uh, she's laying and remember she's killed
616
00:30:49.400 --> 00:30:55.680
herself in the river. She is shown dry laying in
617
00:30:55.720 --> 00:30:58.079
a pool of her own blood, but not really bloody.
618
00:30:58.160 --> 00:30:59.960
There's like a little dripple of blood coming out of
619
00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:06.599
that's it, and again completely dry, laying on the steps
620
00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:09.799
in the part in the cathedral, not the cathedral, the
621
00:31:10.319 --> 00:31:16.720
church part of the castle. And you know, Dracula comes
622
00:31:16.759 --> 00:31:19.279
back and he is like, Okay, well, I guess we'll
623
00:31:19.279 --> 00:31:22.880
be together in heaven. And a priest who is played
624
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:25.680
by Anthony Hopkins but has no further relevance than they
625
00:31:25.759 --> 00:31:28.839
just decided to put him in there. I'm like, known
626
00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:31.680
a writer who's there's a reason she's playing that character,
627
00:31:31.759 --> 00:31:33.680
Anthony Hopkins. They're like, fuck it, we don't need to
628
00:31:33.720 --> 00:31:34.440
hire two people.
629
00:31:34.519 --> 00:31:36.480
Well, we were looking and we both said, what the
630
00:31:36.519 --> 00:31:39.119
fuck that's Anthony Hopkins, And I'm like, isn't he Later
631
00:31:39.160 --> 00:31:40.799
in the movie, what the fuck exactly?
632
00:31:43.599 --> 00:31:47.039
He? The priest basically says that she will not be
633
00:31:47.079 --> 00:31:50.680
admitted into heaven because suicide is a mortal sin. Seems
634
00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:55.640
like bullshit, but whatever, and uh, if you're Catholic, yeah.
635
00:31:55.559 --> 00:31:59.079
Yeah, Christian in general, not that's Catholic. Uh.
636
00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:05.559
However, Dracula loses his shit, starts smashing everything, jam's a
637
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:10.759
sword into a comically large stone cross that starts bleeding profusely.
638
00:32:11.559 --> 00:32:16.759
He curses God drinks the blood out of this blood
639
00:32:16.839 --> 00:32:24.400
filled stone cross and then he's immortal. Yeah then just like.
640
00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:26.960
Yeah, I'm the mortal. That would have been a perfect
641
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:30.160
song to play, right then I have inside my Blood
642
00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:31.400
of Kings. Do you not know the song?
643
00:32:31.759 --> 00:32:31.960
No?
644
00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:33.599
So anyway, I don't know.
645
00:32:34.880 --> 00:32:41.160
Moving on, So that was bizarre and unnecessary. But then
646
00:32:41.200 --> 00:32:46.640
we skip forward. We're in London where Jonathan Harker is
647
00:32:46.920 --> 00:32:52.119
working as a barrister and he is replacing another barrister
648
00:32:52.279 --> 00:32:57.519
who has come back to London a little less sane
649
00:32:58.279 --> 00:33:01.519
and a little more into eating bugs. That's Renfield, who
650
00:33:01.519 --> 00:33:04.400
won't stop talking about his master, and it's very cryptic.
651
00:33:05.160 --> 00:33:10.319
But Jonathan has been given the task to go to Transylvania,
652
00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:15.720
meet the Count and get him to finish shining his
653
00:33:15.799 --> 00:33:20.519
documents because he's buying up like ten different properties around London,
654
00:33:21.440 --> 00:33:23.279
which I will explain why later, because they don't really
655
00:33:23.319 --> 00:33:25.359
address it in the book, I mean in the movie
656
00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:30.839
they do in the book. So he talks to his
657
00:33:31.160 --> 00:33:36.839
lady love Mina, who is an quick second. It should
658
00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:39.759
be noted that Jonathan is played by Keanu Reeves, who
659
00:33:39.880 --> 00:33:43.000
I don't think has even heard an English accent, but
660
00:33:43.079 --> 00:33:45.559
had one described to him and just went off that
661
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:50.039
because yikes, he should never do that kind of accent again.
662
00:33:50.079 --> 00:33:51.839
It's probably why he never did it again.
663
00:33:52.200 --> 00:33:52.720
Probably.
664
00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:56.599
This is the only other movie besides of shit, what's
665
00:33:56.680 --> 00:34:01.480
the one where he was an asshole? Movie? Oh my god,
666
00:34:01.559 --> 00:34:04.720
Oh my god? Whatever that one was? Oh Mg, I
667
00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:08.199
can't remember we reviewed it. Yeah, I know whatever. That's
668
00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:10.199
This is like the only other movie that I'm just
669
00:34:10.199 --> 00:34:11.039
not a fan of him in.
670
00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:13.599
Yeah, but that one was more because he was an
671
00:34:13.639 --> 00:34:15.840
asshole and I didn't and it was believable and I
672
00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:16.360
didn't like it.
673
00:34:16.440 --> 00:34:18.400
No, I know, It's that was completely different thing.
674
00:34:18.519 --> 00:34:21.360
This was more of his acting, which is funny because
675
00:34:21.360 --> 00:34:22.840
I love Keanu Reeves any other time.
676
00:34:22.960 --> 00:34:23.719
That's what I'm saying.
677
00:34:24.800 --> 00:34:27.800
So, yeah, he did terrible with that. But he goes
678
00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:31.519
to his his fiance Mina, and he's like, Okay, we're
679
00:34:31.519 --> 00:34:34.559
gonna get married after I come back. I shouldn't be
680
00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:37.280
gone very long. I just got to get this guy
681
00:34:37.320 --> 00:34:42.199
to sign papers, and and Mina is running around with
682
00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:46.800
her bff Lucy, who has the mouth of a sailor
683
00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:50.920
hooker but is in fact still very like chased. She
684
00:34:51.079 --> 00:34:55.840
just likes to talk and say dirty things and basically
685
00:34:55.960 --> 00:34:59.440
just antagonize Mina for fun by saying things that will
686
00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:05.440
make her blood. And so Jonathan goes. So we're gonna
687
00:35:05.440 --> 00:35:07.519
focus on what Jonathan's doing and then we'll get back
688
00:35:07.519 --> 00:35:09.000
to London, because I think that's gonna be a little
689
00:35:09.079 --> 00:35:15.280
less confusing for everybody. Jonathan goes to Transylvania, it's already
690
00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:17.599
real sketch. When he gets there, he gets out of
691
00:35:17.719 --> 00:35:20.000
one of those So back in the day they would
692
00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:22.159
take carriages as a group. It would be like a
693
00:35:23.239 --> 00:35:29.079
ride share cat like carriage pretty much. That's how you
694
00:35:29.119 --> 00:35:31.119
travel back in the day. You don't have the money
695
00:35:31.119 --> 00:35:33.559
for your own coach. There are just coaches that go
696
00:35:33.679 --> 00:35:37.239
by and you can all share pay for your seat.
697
00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:43.239
And he gets out and this gypsy girl gives him
698
00:35:43.400 --> 00:35:48.599
across says some weird cryptic stuff to him, and then
699
00:35:48.639 --> 00:35:51.480
another old lady gypsy woman slams the door in his face.
700
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:55.760
So he's waiting at these crossroads for his next ride
701
00:35:55.960 --> 00:36:00.599
where the Count's carriage shows up and he kind of
702
00:36:01.079 --> 00:36:03.559
he doesn't really get into the carriage so much as
703
00:36:03.719 --> 00:36:05.920
float into it, which was weird.
704
00:36:06.519 --> 00:36:08.760
Yeah, the hand kind of comes out and like guides
705
00:36:08.800 --> 00:36:10.199
him in and it's just like he was on like
706
00:36:10.239 --> 00:36:12.679
a little mini escalator, just zipping up.
707
00:36:12.960 --> 00:36:15.679
I'm now, now that i'm thinking about it, I'm like
708
00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:19.320
seventy five percent certain that, if I remember correctly, the
709
00:36:19.880 --> 00:36:24.719
guy running the carriage the coach was actually Dracula. I
710
00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:28.320
mean probably, yeah, because in the book, he's like he
711
00:36:28.400 --> 00:36:31.119
plays several different people. He goes by many different names.
712
00:36:30.960 --> 00:36:32.400
It's hard to keep track.
713
00:36:32.519 --> 00:36:34.559
He's kind of also a man a man whore as well.
714
00:36:34.599 --> 00:36:36.320
He's kind of getting around as well.
715
00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:38.800
Dracula, Yeah, you're eternal, what do you care?
716
00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:41.079
I know, it's just funny because he's so after Mina,
717
00:36:41.119 --> 00:36:42.800
but he's like, I'm gonna have try to have sex
718
00:36:42.840 --> 00:36:45.719
with Lucy and you and you and you're just like
719
00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:46.800
all right, and we'll.
720
00:36:46.639 --> 00:36:47.960
Get to why later.
721
00:36:49.400 --> 00:36:50.039
In this movie.
722
00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:54.280
Yeah, they really like the horniness was subtext in the book,
723
00:36:54.280 --> 00:36:56.280
and they decided to just make a text in the.
724
00:36:56.239 --> 00:36:59.320
Movie literally subtitles. I'm just kidding.
725
00:37:01.360 --> 00:37:04.639
So Jonathan goes to the castle, meets up with the count,
726
00:37:04.719 --> 00:37:09.920
who is hella old and has hair that it can
727
00:37:09.960 --> 00:37:12.880
only be described as boobs in the front and butt
728
00:37:12.920 --> 00:37:13.280
in the back.
729
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:18.159
So essentially, in eighteen hundred or was eighteen hundreds, right, yeah,
730
00:37:18.199 --> 00:37:20.159
eighteen hundreds equivalent of a bullet.
731
00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:21.880
Yeah, it was funk.
732
00:37:22.039 --> 00:37:24.119
It was super serious upfront, and then he turned around
733
00:37:24.159 --> 00:37:26.480
and had like this nine foot rat tail that was
734
00:37:26.519 --> 00:37:29.280
braided and just like wow, that is a lot.
735
00:37:29.119 --> 00:37:31.800
And these two buns that were in fact butt shaped.
736
00:37:31.880 --> 00:37:34.480
It's like it's like Leah, like horribly wrong.
737
00:37:34.679 --> 00:37:40.199
Yeah, horribly wrong. Yeah. So they're there. He's like, Okay,
738
00:37:40.320 --> 00:37:43.079
we'll go have you sign these papers, but first let's
739
00:37:43.079 --> 00:37:48.119
have dinner. Jonathan's eating, the Count's not, and he says
740
00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:50.639
some shit that you know, he thought was real fucking
741
00:37:50.679 --> 00:37:55.199
funny when he was like, I don't drink wine, Like, yeah,
742
00:37:55.280 --> 00:38:00.480
here the height of humor, Jesus, and Jonathan he's just like,
743
00:38:00.760 --> 00:38:06.320
all right, whatever. And so they goes to sign the
744
00:38:06.320 --> 00:38:09.440
papers for all these properties and why there's ten and
745
00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:13.440
you know, he doesn't really explain why, but Jonathan kind
746
00:38:13.440 --> 00:38:16.079
of asks and he kind of brushes it off. And
747
00:38:17.239 --> 00:38:22.119
while they're signing papers, the Count's shadow is moving around
748
00:38:22.119 --> 00:38:25.280
the room out of sync with the Count. And this
749
00:38:25.480 --> 00:38:28.039
was a decision by the director because he said that,
750
00:38:28.719 --> 00:38:32.159
you know, physics don't really apply around vampires. Things are
751
00:38:32.199 --> 00:38:34.400
just weird. So he decided to do this. Now, he
752
00:38:34.440 --> 00:38:38.440
did that practically though, because there's a screen that's screen
753
00:38:38.440 --> 00:38:42.480
printed to look like a wall and someone who's moving
754
00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:44.880
around to create the shadows behind it, which was actually
755
00:38:44.880 --> 00:38:45.360
really clever.
756
00:38:47.159 --> 00:38:50.800
Clever or lazy by by saying nothing makes sense because
757
00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:51.719
he's a vampire.
758
00:38:52.079 --> 00:38:53.519
No, I think he just wanted the movie to be
759
00:38:53.599 --> 00:38:55.320
spookier and didn't quite know how to do that.
760
00:38:55.559 --> 00:38:57.760
Oh, okay, that's fair because.
761
00:38:57.440 --> 00:38:59.000
He makes movies like The Godfather.
762
00:38:59.480 --> 00:39:00.000
That's true.
763
00:39:00.360 --> 00:39:00.920
Yeah, all right.
764
00:39:01.119 --> 00:39:01.920
So there we go.
765
00:39:02.760 --> 00:39:08.960
While he's signing papers and they're talking, the Count accidentally
766
00:39:09.000 --> 00:39:12.719
spills some ink on what is a tiny picture of Mina,
767
00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:16.559
who again looks like the Count's lady love from four
768
00:39:16.639 --> 00:39:21.400
hundred years ago, Elizabetha, and he starts staring at her,
769
00:39:21.519 --> 00:39:24.679
and Jonathan's like, oh, you found a picture of Mina?
770
00:39:24.840 --> 00:39:27.639
I thought I lost that picture? You like, the picture
771
00:39:27.679 --> 00:39:29.800
that was sitting next to the papers you were signing
772
00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:31.800
on a desk with like ten total items?
773
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:34.039
Did you lose it in the last five minutes? I'm
774
00:39:34.079 --> 00:39:34.800
soaking the.
775
00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:37.320
Last five seconds. It's literally been sitting next to your hand.
776
00:39:37.360 --> 00:39:38.239
What yeah, hello?
777
00:39:39.480 --> 00:39:42.280
And the Count gets really weird about the picture. A
778
00:39:42.320 --> 00:39:46.719
little too interested, and Jonathan's like, that's bizarre. But the
779
00:39:46.760 --> 00:39:49.159
Count's like, you should stay with me for a month.
780
00:39:51.079 --> 00:39:54.719
And Jonathan's like, oh, do you want me to? And
781
00:39:54.719 --> 00:39:56.840
he's like, yeah, I want you to. So he does,
782
00:39:57.199 --> 00:40:00.519
and in the meantime he experiences weird things like the
783
00:40:00.639 --> 00:40:05.360
Count gets really weird about mirrors, yells at him a
784
00:40:05.400 --> 00:40:10.840
few times about the h the nobility of the Draculia
785
00:40:10.960 --> 00:40:14.039
line and which seemed a little heavy but sure, and
786
00:40:14.199 --> 00:40:17.639
swings the sword around some and then tells Jonathan not
787
00:40:17.719 --> 00:40:22.000
to go snooping around the house. So Jonathan goes snooping
788
00:40:22.000 --> 00:40:22.760
around the house.
789
00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:25.199
I mean, yeah, you're just asking for it at that point.
790
00:40:25.239 --> 00:40:26.199
Don't tell me not to.
791
00:40:26.159 --> 00:40:30.719
Do this where he finds a room with some vials
792
00:40:30.760 --> 00:40:33.480
where the liquid drips upward and you got to imagine
793
00:40:33.480 --> 00:40:34.440
that's a bitch to clean.
794
00:40:35.559 --> 00:40:37.719
And the biggest bed in existence.
795
00:40:37.800 --> 00:40:40.119
Oh my god, it's essentially a floor that's been made
796
00:40:40.119 --> 00:40:43.000
into a bed where the three horniest women on the
797
00:40:43.039 --> 00:40:46.719
planet emerge. You probably if you know anything about Dracula,
798
00:40:46.760 --> 00:40:50.400
you know it's his brides who are all topless and
799
00:40:51.480 --> 00:40:56.960
immediately start in on Jonathan, who again is like, man,
800
00:40:57.000 --> 00:40:59.880
you're engaged but like, also, they're vampires, and you get
801
00:40:59.880 --> 00:41:02.960
the whole vampire thrall thing. Sometimes you can't control that,
802
00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:06.199
especially when there's three of them, I feel like that.
803
00:41:06.360 --> 00:41:08.239
And they're being forceful. You kind of just have to
804
00:41:08.320 --> 00:41:09.320
let it happen at that point.
805
00:41:09.360 --> 00:41:11.440
I mean, and they're topless in a period where like
806
00:41:11.880 --> 00:41:15.119
showing your wrist would be like whoo.
807
00:41:14.840 --> 00:41:16.199
Yeah, saucy.
808
00:41:18.159 --> 00:41:21.960
So now we're just making excuses for the one man
809
00:41:22.079 --> 00:41:30.280
who uh yeah, So they're starting to feed on him
810
00:41:31.119 --> 00:41:34.760
and Dracula puts the kabash on that one. He's like, no,
811
00:41:34.960 --> 00:41:38.480
he's mine, and you're like, pardon the way.
812
00:41:38.320 --> 00:41:41.239
He flies in on that fucking platform though, just like
813
00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:43.199
that was pretty cool.
814
00:41:43.320 --> 00:41:46.039
Yeah, and uh he's They're like, so what, We're just
815
00:41:46.079 --> 00:41:48.440
gonna starve and he's like, na, ladies, I got you
816
00:41:48.519 --> 00:41:49.400
a baby to eat.
817
00:41:49.880 --> 00:41:50.880
Yeah. That was pretty.
818
00:41:50.639 --> 00:41:56.159
Upsetting, which shockingly is really upsetting for Jonathan. And then
819
00:41:56.159 --> 00:41:58.599
pretty much Jonathan's kind of just stuck there till he
820
00:41:58.639 --> 00:42:01.360
makes it back to till he tries to escape and
821
00:42:01.360 --> 00:42:02.760
make it back to England. So we're not going to
822
00:42:02.800 --> 00:42:06.400
hear about Jonathan for a good what hour later in
823
00:42:06.440 --> 00:42:08.119
the plot, because he kind of pops up for like
824
00:42:08.159 --> 00:42:10.639
two minutes, and then he's gone till he he escapes.
825
00:42:10.679 --> 00:42:14.239
He isn't probably like the first twenty or so minutes,
826
00:42:14.320 --> 00:42:17.000
and then yeah, maybe thirty minutes, and then there's probably
827
00:42:17.000 --> 00:42:19.320
an hour where he's intermittently in there, and then he
828
00:42:19.360 --> 00:42:22.239
eventually kind of comes back around after he escapes. So yeah,
829
00:42:22.280 --> 00:42:23.280
his part is odd.
830
00:42:23.400 --> 00:42:27.440
Oh, and he has been explaining that there are during
831
00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:30.199
his escape. He explains that there are gypsy men who
832
00:42:30.239 --> 00:42:33.519
will do the counts bidding, and they have been putting
833
00:42:33.519 --> 00:42:37.119
a bunch of dirt from the basement of the castle
834
00:42:37.199 --> 00:42:42.599
into a bunch of boxes, and he he was considering
835
00:42:42.719 --> 00:42:44.039
using this as a way to escape.
836
00:42:44.400 --> 00:42:47.760
I've got a box of diat Jesus, you knew it
837
00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:48.280
what was coming.
838
00:42:48.960 --> 00:42:54.679
And in the meantime, we go back to England, where
839
00:42:55.360 --> 00:43:00.559
Lucy's still trying to pick a husband and is freaking
840
00:43:00.599 --> 00:43:04.239
out because she has now received a note from Jonathan
841
00:43:04.320 --> 00:43:09.800
that seems really cold and short, and he's basically like,
842
00:43:09.880 --> 00:43:11.360
I'm staying with the count for a month.
843
00:43:12.440 --> 00:43:13.599
Brb fucking.
844
00:43:16.119 --> 00:43:19.039
Your guns. Like She's like, this is weird and cold
845
00:43:19.159 --> 00:43:22.400
and not like him, and Lucy's like he's probably busy
846
00:43:23.559 --> 00:43:26.880
and speaking of busy, I have picked my husband. Yeah,
847
00:43:26.920 --> 00:43:29.519
and she chooses to marry Lord Arthur.
848
00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:31.519
Lord Arthur Holmewood.
849
00:43:31.960 --> 00:43:37.880
Yeah, and uh then she and Mina having a she
850
00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:42.119
and Lucy. Mina and Lucy have an extremely bizarre uh
851
00:43:42.800 --> 00:43:47.320
romp through the hedge maze. It's extremely unclear what's going
852
00:43:47.360 --> 00:43:50.840
on in Lucy's backyard at her house because there's like
853
00:43:50.880 --> 00:43:54.800
a swamp and a hedge maze and an extremely large
854
00:43:55.360 --> 00:44:01.519
crypt and yeah, so they go through it starts raining
855
00:44:01.599 --> 00:44:04.119
and then they start running around in the rain together
856
00:44:04.280 --> 00:44:06.400
and then making out a little. And this is all
857
00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:11.000
this is all coinciding with when the boat that is
858
00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:18.119
bringing Dracula and his fifteen boxes a dirt lands in England.
859
00:44:18.280 --> 00:44:20.519
And it's really funny because they're like, this is London,
860
00:44:20.880 --> 00:44:24.320
London with a great big cliff side. Oh yeah, as
861
00:44:24.360 --> 00:44:27.239
we all know that London totally has with a big
862
00:44:27.280 --> 00:44:33.960
ass house on it. So yeah, that that night, Lucy
863
00:44:34.360 --> 00:44:41.079
is being called to buy something and into the garden
864
00:44:41.199 --> 00:44:46.280
she goes, and Mina goes to follow her because she's like,
865
00:44:46.400 --> 00:44:53.239
where did you go? What is happening? And Lucy's wearing
866
00:44:53.280 --> 00:44:57.159
what could only be described as nineties lingerie in a
867
00:44:57.639 --> 00:45:02.119
period film because she's wearing this big, this huge red
868
00:45:02.360 --> 00:45:04.239
doesn't lace up the front corset.
869
00:45:05.679 --> 00:45:08.760
Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.
870
00:45:07.880 --> 00:45:09.519
H Mina is wearing purple.
871
00:45:09.639 --> 00:45:11.239
She's wearing like proper.
872
00:45:11.960 --> 00:45:15.000
She's wearing the style is proper, The material and the
873
00:45:15.039 --> 00:45:16.559
color are absolutely not.
874
00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:19.840
No, Yeah, but yeah, Lucy's definitely wearing something that is
875
00:45:19.880 --> 00:45:21.199
not like period accurate.
876
00:45:21.400 --> 00:45:24.000
It's like a corset with a sheer skirt under it,
877
00:45:24.199 --> 00:45:26.719
and like bikini bottoms and bikini bottoms, a lot of
878
00:45:26.719 --> 00:45:30.159
girls wearing bikini bottoms a good one hundred years before
879
00:45:30.239 --> 00:45:31.239
underwear were invented.
880
00:45:31.480 --> 00:45:35.400
Well, no, because they well underwear bloomers, bloomers, Yeah, splits
881
00:45:35.440 --> 00:45:37.719
down the middle so they could use chamber pots. Yeah,
882
00:45:38.239 --> 00:45:41.880
not fucking bikini style cut underwear. What the fuck?
883
00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:44.079
Frame, How would you get those off to go to
884
00:45:44.119 --> 00:45:45.559
the back those dresses?
885
00:45:46.400 --> 00:45:49.000
Like, so to take off nine layers of clothing just
886
00:45:49.039 --> 00:45:50.400
to get your underwear.
887
00:45:50.079 --> 00:45:53.159
Which was funny because there was a point because the
888
00:45:53.159 --> 00:45:56.760
style of dress they're wearing in the film has bustles,
889
00:45:56.800 --> 00:45:59.599
which is that big bump of fabric in the back,
890
00:46:00.400 --> 00:46:03.159
and that is good, and that is a good seven
891
00:46:03.280 --> 00:46:07.440
layers of like I think it's five to seven layers
892
00:46:07.480 --> 00:46:10.840
of clothing like with petty coats and bloomers and all
893
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:13.280
of that. And there's a point where Lucy stands up
894
00:46:13.320 --> 00:46:16.199
and you can see the frame to her dress and
895
00:46:16.280 --> 00:46:18.639
her legs, like you can see straight through the dress,
896
00:46:18.679 --> 00:46:22.440
and you're like, not, not remotely, would that be a.
897
00:46:22.440 --> 00:46:27.519
Thing someone really phoned it in on the on the wardrobe?
898
00:46:28.039 --> 00:46:30.000
Was it pretty? Yeah? Was it accurate? Not right?
899
00:46:30.119 --> 00:46:31.960
Not even so?
900
00:46:32.119 --> 00:46:36.679
Yeah. Lucy goes out into the maze and then she
901
00:46:37.320 --> 00:46:44.360
uh Mina stumbles upon her fucking a werewolf bat kind
902
00:46:44.360 --> 00:46:48.119
of thing. It's like a wolf but not a wolf bat.
903
00:46:49.800 --> 00:46:51.960
And like she's got one tit out, which seems to
904
00:46:51.960 --> 00:46:54.119
be a running theme with Lucy through the rest of her.
905
00:46:54.400 --> 00:46:57.880
She's got one boob out more than than not, honestly,
906
00:46:57.920 --> 00:47:00.119
it's like one boob which is always fucking.
907
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:02.199
It's like, can anyone tie up her shirt a little?
908
00:47:02.239 --> 00:47:04.360
Because like they're clearly not the right side.
909
00:47:04.400 --> 00:47:08.199
Did they not have something equivalent to like a bra back?
910
00:47:08.320 --> 00:47:10.159
It would be a petty coat, like they would be
911
00:47:10.159 --> 00:47:14.199
wearing a literal like dress under their dress.
912
00:47:14.239 --> 00:47:16.440
Yeah, because they're not wearing these like in this movie,
913
00:47:16.440 --> 00:47:20.199
they're wearing thin sheer fabric, which would not be a thing.
914
00:47:20.239 --> 00:47:22.119
Even when you were going to bed, you would not
915
00:47:22.199 --> 00:47:23.159
wear something like that.
916
00:47:23.199 --> 00:47:25.559
Correct, you would straight up be wearing like a dress.
917
00:47:25.800 --> 00:47:27.599
That's what I'm saying. So, yeah, all these people that
918
00:47:27.599 --> 00:47:29.960
are half naked with their robes open, You're like, this
919
00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:33.280
is not how it would work. Think about priors of
920
00:47:33.320 --> 00:47:33.880
the Caribbean.
921
00:47:34.760 --> 00:47:36.639
That's a great example. That would be more what they'd
922
00:47:36.639 --> 00:47:39.119
be wearing, not stuff that slides off the shoulder and
923
00:47:39.280 --> 00:47:40.599
is made of shiny fabrics.
924
00:47:40.800 --> 00:47:42.679
Say yeah, the second she just like like lifts up
925
00:47:42.679 --> 00:47:44.239
in bed, it's like boom, and you're like, that's not
926
00:47:44.280 --> 00:47:45.519
how this would work, ladies.
927
00:47:45.559 --> 00:47:47.960
And also there are no other women in this house anyway.
928
00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:52.559
So Mina sees the weird humping, which is on a
929
00:47:52.559 --> 00:47:54.559
bench in the middle of what appears to be a
930
00:47:54.599 --> 00:47:57.960
stagnant pond. Again, no one knows what's going on in
931
00:47:58.039 --> 00:48:02.719
Lucy's backyard, and the thing that is humping her, which
932
00:48:02.760 --> 00:48:06.079
is clearly the count, looks over sees Mina and is like,
933
00:48:06.159 --> 00:48:10.599
oh shit, and then goes don't see me. And then
934
00:48:10.639 --> 00:48:15.079
suddenly he disappears and Lucy uh takes Uh. Mina takes
935
00:48:15.159 --> 00:48:17.880
Lucy and brings her inside and kind of wraps her
936
00:48:17.920 --> 00:48:19.719
in some of her clothes because she's she's got a
937
00:48:19.760 --> 00:48:20.159
tit out.
938
00:48:21.360 --> 00:48:23.880
Just says she's been sleepwalking because she's known to do that.
939
00:48:23.960 --> 00:48:29.039
I think, yeah, yeah, And this is where Lucy's illness starts,
940
00:48:29.079 --> 00:48:32.880
her unexplained illness where she appears to be anemic with
941
00:48:32.920 --> 00:48:36.480
no blood loss. So while this is happening with Lucy,
942
00:48:37.760 --> 00:48:40.840
Mina is wandering around without a chaperone. I don't know
943
00:48:40.840 --> 00:48:43.559
if chaperons are a thing back then, at this particular
944
00:48:43.599 --> 00:48:48.320
time period, but still she's wandering her alone, unaccompanied, and
945
00:48:48.440 --> 00:48:51.440
a strange man who is the Count, who is now
946
00:48:51.519 --> 00:48:55.119
not old. He is young, with long brown hair, looks
947
00:48:55.199 --> 00:48:58.480
fabulous and really bitch pair of sunglasses.
948
00:48:58.519 --> 00:49:02.400
Yes, looks fabulous.
949
00:49:01.360 --> 00:49:07.960
Before sunglasses were invented. He now sees her, so she
950
00:49:08.039 --> 00:49:10.239
then he looks over at her across the street and
951
00:49:10.320 --> 00:49:13.960
goes see me, and now she sees him.
952
00:49:14.000 --> 00:49:18.639
Sorry. All I could think of was, oh my God, God, God,
953
00:49:18.679 --> 00:49:20.199
I swear to God, what is wrong with me? The
954
00:49:20.239 --> 00:49:24.519
fucking vampire found footage or the mockumentary what we do?
955
00:49:24.639 --> 00:49:26.519
So I could think of was him going see me
956
00:49:26.719 --> 00:49:29.079
through the window, you know, Yeah, he's like knocking on
957
00:49:29.079 --> 00:49:32.880
them like see me, Yeah, sorry, I thought about that. Yeah,
958
00:49:32.960 --> 00:49:33.199
we do.
959
00:49:33.599 --> 00:49:38.960
So he meets her as a smart woman. She gives
960
00:49:39.000 --> 00:49:42.239
him the immediate brush off, like he's like, hey, hi,
961
00:49:42.480 --> 00:49:45.039
I'm new to this country. Not interested, and she's like,
962
00:49:45.639 --> 00:49:48.280
he's like, I need I need help getting to this location.
963
00:49:48.400 --> 00:49:52.000
She's like, cool, that dude's selling maps deuces and she
964
00:49:52.159 --> 00:49:54.800
turns and leaves, and then he appears in front of
965
00:49:54.800 --> 00:49:57.000
her again and she's like what the fuck and then
966
00:49:57.039 --> 00:49:59.000
he tries to talk to her some more and she's
967
00:49:59.079 --> 00:50:03.719
like again, good luck with that. Bye, And then for
968
00:50:03.760 --> 00:50:07.440
some dumb, dumb reason, she's like, Okay, that was like rude.
969
00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:12.199
It wasn't rude. He's a stranger, and she decides to
970
00:50:12.679 --> 00:50:16.760
go and go and escort him to the picture show
971
00:50:17.880 --> 00:50:23.760
and they're kind of getting weird and flirty that whole time,
972
00:50:24.159 --> 00:50:29.199
and uh yeah, this is the beginning of Mina's extremely
973
00:50:29.280 --> 00:50:34.519
weird affair. He is he has introduced himself as a prince,
974
00:50:35.800 --> 00:50:38.800
so she just calls him my prince and she is
975
00:50:38.880 --> 00:50:42.079
now like weirdly obsessed with him. They're going out to dinners,
976
00:50:42.199 --> 00:50:45.000
which makes her kind of a crappy friend because she's
977
00:50:45.079 --> 00:50:49.960
like so busy lusting after dude while she's engaged, which
978
00:50:50.039 --> 00:50:53.920
makes her crappy fiance, which again, it's probably the enthralling
979
00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:55.960
thing and the weird.
980
00:50:56.280 --> 00:50:56.400
Uh.
981
00:50:57.000 --> 00:51:00.960
Clearly she's the reincarnation of his loves, so it's probably
982
00:51:01.199 --> 00:51:02.199
the past life thing.
983
00:51:02.480 --> 00:51:04.480
But there's also times where she's like.
984
00:51:04.719 --> 00:51:06.440
Not interesting, That's what I'm saying.
985
00:51:06.519 --> 00:51:10.559
So it's very inconsistent, which was weird, and uh, fucking
986
00:51:10.599 --> 00:51:11.519
pick a lane, bro.
987
00:51:12.119 --> 00:51:17.119
And in the meantime, Lucy's fucking dying. She's in bed.
988
00:51:17.199 --> 00:51:21.159
She's a mnemic wanted out like as always.
989
00:51:20.840 --> 00:51:24.039
Constantly has a boob out for some reason. Whenever she's
990
00:51:24.079 --> 00:51:28.000
starting to feel bad, she goes into weird orgasm noises.
991
00:51:28.480 --> 00:51:30.760
They don't sound like noises of pain, they sound like
992
00:51:30.800 --> 00:51:31.559
horny noises.
993
00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:32.039
Yeah.
994
00:51:32.239 --> 00:51:36.719
And one of the guys she was going to because
995
00:51:36.760 --> 00:51:40.360
you had Jack, who's the doctor who's also writing fields,
996
00:51:40.360 --> 00:51:43.519
doctor who honestly, he's just not relevant enough to really
997
00:51:43.559 --> 00:51:44.480
discuss him too much.
998
00:51:44.519 --> 00:51:45.559
He kind of was just like it was.
999
00:51:45.960 --> 00:51:46.320
He was there.
1000
00:51:46.400 --> 00:51:48.280
It was like a side quest in a video game,
1001
00:51:48.320 --> 00:51:51.079
like we could we didn't really need to do this, or.
1002
00:51:51.440 --> 00:51:54.719
He's more in the books, and it's like they just
1003
00:51:54.719 --> 00:51:59.119
didn't want to write him out. Yeah, eating his bugs,
1004
00:51:59.599 --> 00:52:02.239
eat bugs. Oh my god, that's that's what That's all
1005
00:52:02.239 --> 00:52:04.880
he did. And so you've got Jack, who's the doctor
1006
00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:08.679
who's trying to help Lucy. You've got Quincy, who's the
1007
00:52:08.719 --> 00:52:11.199
man from Texas who was in love with Lucy, and
1008
00:52:11.280 --> 00:52:15.280
his friends with Jack and Arthur, mostly Arthur, and he's
1009
00:52:15.360 --> 00:52:19.360
just kind of there helping out. And then you've got
1010
00:52:19.440 --> 00:52:21.639
Arthur who's like, what the fuck's going on with my
1011
00:52:21.679 --> 00:52:27.000
fiance Jack. Finally he cannot figure it out. So finally
1012
00:52:27.719 --> 00:52:31.440
he thinks that maybe it's psycho semitic and it's somehow
1013
00:52:31.519 --> 00:52:36.440
affecting her physically, and he's gonna go get a second
1014
00:52:36.440 --> 00:52:42.039
opinion from a teacher he knows of Van Helsing. They
1015
00:52:42.039 --> 00:52:44.639
bring Van Helsing in. It takes about twenty seconds for
1016
00:52:44.719 --> 00:52:48.039
van Helsing to be like, yeah, she's got these puncture wounds.
1017
00:52:48.159 --> 00:52:52.000
There's no blood, but she's losing a lot of blood
1018
00:52:52.039 --> 00:52:56.679
and she's dying. Uh, vampires takes her too. It takes
1019
00:52:56.719 --> 00:52:58.519
two seconds for him to be like vampires.
1020
00:52:58.519 --> 00:53:00.320
Ah, yes, they see, we have vampire.
1021
00:53:01.119 --> 00:53:05.519
And so we discussed that it was weird that Dracula's
1022
00:53:05.559 --> 00:53:09.639
clearly been visiting Lucy and clearly been transitioning her into
1023
00:53:09.639 --> 00:53:15.519
a vampire. And the reason he is actually in London.
1024
00:53:15.559 --> 00:53:18.920
Originally they added the whole romance aspect because that wasn't
1025
00:53:18.920 --> 00:53:21.920
a thing, I guess, to give him a better reason
1026
00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:25.039
to be in London, because in the original book, he
1027
00:53:25.199 --> 00:53:29.519
is there to spread his disease, so to speak, which
1028
00:53:29.519 --> 00:53:31.360
sounds really weird the way they said that, but that's
1029
00:53:31.400 --> 00:53:35.880
how they said it. He's there to spread vampirism. And
1030
00:53:35.920 --> 00:53:38.719
the reason he has so many fucking properties in London
1031
00:53:38.800 --> 00:53:40.800
is so that way he can do what he wants
1032
00:53:40.840 --> 00:53:43.559
all hours and always have a place to rest, because
1033
00:53:44.440 --> 00:53:46.800
even though this is not true with all other vampires,
1034
00:53:46.840 --> 00:53:50.800
with Dracula, he must either be a he must either
1035
00:53:50.880 --> 00:53:54.440
rest in a coffin or in the dirt of his homeland.
1036
00:53:56.119 --> 00:53:58.519
Pretty much, there's a lot of funny shots of Gary
1037
00:53:58.519 --> 00:53:59.960
old Been getting upset in a box of dirt.
1038
00:54:00.199 --> 00:54:02.559
Yeah, he's just like stagnant, kind of just like and then.
1039
00:54:02.440 --> 00:54:05.480
He'll wake up and be like, but he's like wiggling
1040
00:54:05.480 --> 00:54:06.360
his hands in the dirt.
1041
00:54:06.440 --> 00:54:08.320
Did we do that like in Perfect Harmony?
1042
00:54:08.440 --> 00:54:08.639
Yeah?
1043
00:54:09.880 --> 00:54:10.079
Good.
1044
00:54:10.239 --> 00:54:15.239
So they finally are like they're they're not really on board.
1045
00:54:16.079 --> 00:54:19.119
All the guys are like Van Helsing's nuts, he's not
1046
00:54:19.400 --> 00:54:23.519
a there's no such thing as vampires, and then vamp
1047
00:54:23.679 --> 00:54:28.159
and then Van Helsing while expressing this, uh, well, if
1048
00:54:28.800 --> 00:54:32.559
all reality isn't he or like, if it's something to
1049
00:54:32.639 --> 00:54:36.760
the effect of like, oh, if all the possible isn't possible,
1050
00:54:36.840 --> 00:54:41.559
then the impossible is what what it must be exactly?
1051
00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:45.840
And then he does some sort of weird Houdini trick
1052
00:54:46.440 --> 00:54:52.719
which doesn't make sense because he's human, but whatever. And
1053
00:54:53.000 --> 00:54:55.519
one night Lucy is screaming.
1054
00:54:55.840 --> 00:54:56.159
Uh.
1055
00:54:56.280 --> 00:54:58.760
They finally see that something has come into the room
1056
00:54:58.800 --> 00:55:01.239
to attack her. Art has to leave for a little bit,
1057
00:55:01.280 --> 00:55:05.039
so Quincy gets left to help protect her, and they're
1058
00:55:05.079 --> 00:55:10.920
all just watching out for Lucy, who you know, who
1059
00:55:11.000 --> 00:55:14.079
is just like getting meaner while she's getting sicker and
1060
00:55:14.119 --> 00:55:17.800
she's slowly developing things. Oh yeah, so while she's on
1061
00:55:17.840 --> 00:55:22.480
her deathbed. Uh, Jonathan, I know you were like, oh shit,
1062
00:55:22.559 --> 00:55:26.440
Jonathan was a person. He finally gets out, makes his
1063
00:55:26.480 --> 00:55:29.599
way to some nuns and is like, please meet me here.
1064
00:55:30.119 --> 00:55:32.599
We'll get married and then we'll come back together because
1065
00:55:32.639 --> 00:55:37.039
I cannot be left alone after the weird sex torture
1066
00:55:37.079 --> 00:55:38.360
I've been enduring for months.
1067
00:55:38.440 --> 00:55:40.480
Yeah, in the last month because the brides were also
1068
00:55:41.199 --> 00:55:43.880
feed feeding off him. They're they're they're taking all a
1069
00:55:43.920 --> 00:55:46.119
lot of blood out but also keeping him alive so
1070
00:55:46.159 --> 00:55:49.440
they can continue to harvest. Yeah, very smart move, you.
1071
00:55:49.400 --> 00:55:54.239
Know, good job brides. So wait to think long game.
1072
00:55:54.599 --> 00:55:57.000
Yeah you don't just uh fuck it up like what's
1073
00:55:57.000 --> 00:55:59.360
his face? Did? And again, uh what we do in
1074
00:55:59.400 --> 00:56:01.159
the shadows? And he bites the neck and the leg
1075
00:56:01.199 --> 00:56:03.639
it goes everywhere, and he's like, shit, that wasn't supposed
1076
00:56:03.679 --> 00:56:03.960
to happen.
1077
00:56:03.960 --> 00:56:07.239
You're supposed to lay down paper like some newspaper or something.
1078
00:56:08.760 --> 00:56:09.679
Oh shitt.
1079
00:56:10.039 --> 00:56:15.039
So Mina leaves. She she says to Lucy, hey, I
1080
00:56:15.079 --> 00:56:18.119
gotta go get Jonathan. I'll be back. Please be well.
1081
00:56:19.159 --> 00:56:22.400
Pisses Lucy off royally because there's a bunch of garlic
1082
00:56:22.480 --> 00:56:24.800
next to her bed and she slides it over and
1083
00:56:24.840 --> 00:56:32.599
then like Lucy loses her shit. So yeah, Mina goes
1084
00:56:33.280 --> 00:56:36.559
gets Jonathan, whose hair has turned. It's supposed to be white,
1085
00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:39.960
but it will be for the film, varying shades of
1086
00:56:40.039 --> 00:56:43.719
gray depending on what scene we're in, but not a
1087
00:56:43.800 --> 00:56:46.519
consistent like it's getting gray or over the over time.
1088
00:56:46.559 --> 00:56:49.480
It's like no one remembered to take photos to get
1089
00:56:49.480 --> 00:56:51.800
a consistent level of gray, or just put a fucking
1090
00:56:51.840 --> 00:56:52.400
wig on him.
1091
00:56:52.440 --> 00:56:54.440
Well, yeah, put a wig on him, yeah, because it's
1092
00:56:54.480 --> 00:56:56.400
like that. It's like if you do your hair for
1093
00:56:56.440 --> 00:56:58.239
a costume, like a Halloween costume, when you go to
1094
00:56:58.280 --> 00:57:00.880
spirit and get like the hair spray paint, that's essentially
1095
00:57:00.880 --> 00:57:04.280
what it looked like. Yeah, that's but like again, inconsistent
1096
00:57:04.480 --> 00:57:07.000
and different from scene the scene, and you're just like, guys,
1097
00:57:07.559 --> 00:57:10.079
a fucking wig would have solved this entire problem.
1098
00:57:10.199 --> 00:57:13.679
Oh and Mina also cuts things off with the print.
1099
00:57:13.760 --> 00:57:17.360
She's like, I'm sorry, gotta go be with Jonathan, which
1100
00:57:17.400 --> 00:57:20.519
is a weird move because she is clearly no longer
1101
00:57:20.559 --> 00:57:26.039
interested in Jonathan. She only cares about uh Dracula. She
1102
00:57:26.559 --> 00:57:30.480
literally doesn't give two shits about Jonathan, besides being like, oh,
1103
00:57:30.559 --> 00:57:35.360
I have to go save him, and that's about it.
1104
00:57:35.360 --> 00:57:37.199
It was like, girls, just break it off, just go
1105
00:57:37.199 --> 00:57:39.199
get him, bring him back, break it off because there
1106
00:57:39.280 --> 00:57:41.599
was no reason for you to marry him if you're
1107
00:57:41.840 --> 00:57:45.320
that fucking obsessed with with another dude. It's just mean
1108
00:57:45.360 --> 00:57:50.920
at that point. So in the meantime, Lucy dies. Lucy dies,
1109
00:57:51.079 --> 00:57:56.440
and uh Van Helsing's like well, she's died one time
1110
00:57:56.559 --> 00:57:58.960
now and everyone's like, do what and they're like, yeah,
1111
00:57:58.960 --> 00:58:00.840
now we gotta kill her the same second time. The
1112
00:58:00.880 --> 00:58:03.400
second time where we we stak her in the heart
1113
00:58:03.440 --> 00:58:06.719
and cut her head off, and they're like, can't she
1114
00:58:06.960 --> 00:58:08.360
just be dead? This amount?
1115
00:58:09.239 --> 00:58:11.559
I like in this one though, that because typically it
1116
00:58:11.639 --> 00:58:14.920
is just steak to the heart, right, yeah, And this
1117
00:58:14.960 --> 00:58:16.639
one they're like, no, no, no, we're taking that a
1118
00:58:16.679 --> 00:58:19.679
step above steak to the heart and behead, not one
1119
00:58:19.719 --> 00:58:22.679
or the other, both first the steak than the beheading.
1120
00:58:23.000 --> 00:58:25.519
I like that. That was pretty interesting. It's like zombie
1121
00:58:25.559 --> 00:58:27.280
and vampire mixed into one.
1122
00:58:27.599 --> 00:58:30.719
Yeah, and Lucy's wearing what was supposed to be her
1123
00:58:30.719 --> 00:58:33.400
wedding dress, but is the most insane costume that no
1124
00:58:33.559 --> 00:58:35.880
sane woman in the eighteen hundreds would have ever worn.
1125
00:58:36.239 --> 00:58:39.800
It's got to take away that trivia what? No? Okay?
1126
00:58:41.360 --> 00:58:45.760
So they go to the huge and I mean fucking
1127
00:58:45.880 --> 00:58:50.000
ginormous crypt in her backyard, which like literally it's by
1128
00:58:50.079 --> 00:58:52.679
a pond and goes down a set of stairs. It's
1129
00:58:52.679 --> 00:58:54.880
like an underground crypt, and you're just kind of wondering,
1130
00:58:56.159 --> 00:58:59.199
are we not concerned about flooding? And also, why did
1131
00:58:59.239 --> 00:59:01.960
you build it so low down. Above ground crypts are
1132
00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:03.000
pretty fucking common.
1133
00:59:03.199 --> 00:59:05.400
No, gotta have my ship below ground, right out of
1134
00:59:05.400 --> 00:59:07.199
the sun So probably because it needs to be out
1135
00:59:07.199 --> 00:59:07.760
of the sunlight.
1136
00:59:07.960 --> 00:59:11.280
Yeah, this was a This would be a family crypt,
1137
00:59:11.280 --> 00:59:13.280
so it would have already existed. It's not like they
1138
00:59:13.320 --> 00:59:15.079
built an entire marble crypt.
1139
00:59:16.800 --> 00:59:17.280
I don't know.
1140
00:59:18.440 --> 00:59:23.719
So she's in her coffin. They she's in her coffin earlier,
1141
00:59:23.760 --> 00:59:25.360
but now they've gone back. They go to get the
1142
00:59:25.360 --> 00:59:29.559
coffin open. She's not there, bum bum bum. And while
1143
00:59:29.599 --> 00:59:32.039
they're like, what the fuck where is she? Uh? She
1144
00:59:32.320 --> 00:59:37.679
comes uh, just sauntering down the stairs like uh, nobody
1145
00:59:37.719 --> 00:59:40.119
was waiting on her with a kid in her hand,
1146
00:59:40.400 --> 00:59:41.519
which is clearly dinner.
1147
00:59:41.559 --> 00:59:44.760
Should I just read that now then go ahead? So, yeah,
1148
00:59:44.800 --> 00:59:46.760
she comes down with the child, and the little girl
1149
00:59:46.760 --> 00:59:49.039
who played the child is uh that was being carried
1150
00:59:49.039 --> 00:59:52.199
into the crypt by Lucy was genuinely terrified of Stady
1151
00:59:52.239 --> 00:59:55.800
Frost and the vampire makeup, and obviously wasn't expecting to
1152
00:59:55.840 --> 00:59:59.000
do more than one take. Producer and director Francis Fortcoppola
1153
00:59:59.400 --> 01:00:01.559
had to do lot of sweet talking to the child
1154
01:00:01.679 --> 01:00:04.119
in order to get her back in Sadie's arms for
1155
01:00:04.280 --> 01:00:06.920
another go at the seed. So yeah, because I would
1156
01:00:06.920 --> 01:00:09.440
be scared of that costume as well. I was terrified
1157
01:00:09.480 --> 01:00:12.000
just looking at it now. Holy shit, imagine a young
1158
01:00:12.159 --> 01:00:16.000
child trying to like, I'm sure those tears were probably real.
1159
01:00:16.920 --> 01:00:21.199
Yeah, she sold it. Yeah, it's an out of ten
1160
01:00:21.280 --> 01:00:21.800
for that kid.
1161
01:00:21.920 --> 01:00:22.880
Yeah.
1162
01:00:22.920 --> 01:00:27.320
So at this case we get the whole. Lucy gets
1163
01:00:27.360 --> 01:00:27.880
got seen.
1164
01:00:29.079 --> 01:00:31.719
Yeah, that's my that's the best killed. So good.
1165
01:00:32.079 --> 01:00:35.280
Yeah, and uh, there's a really cool shot of her
1166
01:00:36.119 --> 01:00:39.880
climbing back into her coffin, except they had done the
1167
01:00:39.880 --> 01:00:41.960
shot in reverse, so it looks really weird. It's clearly
1168
01:00:42.039 --> 01:00:45.519
reversed shot, but it looks Yeah, I was just saying
1169
01:00:45.519 --> 01:00:45.840
it again.
1170
01:00:45.920 --> 01:00:48.039
Oh okay, sorry, I was making sure I wasn't crazy.
1171
01:00:48.039 --> 01:00:49.199
It's like, I swear you said that.
1172
01:00:50.320 --> 01:00:53.159
So yeah, now I've forgotten warm.
1173
01:00:53.199 --> 01:00:55.960
Okay, we could probably just cut it there. We're like
1174
01:00:56.119 --> 01:00:58.840
almost out of time, honestly, hold on, let me make
1175
01:00:58.920 --> 01:01:00.559
it to a well, I mean yeah, you can just
1176
01:01:01.000 --> 01:01:01.400
got a few more.
1177
01:01:01.639 --> 01:01:04.119
So at this point Lucy's dead. Everybody's like, what the
1178
01:01:04.119 --> 01:01:06.679
fuck's going on? Oh and in the meantime, while they
1179
01:01:06.679 --> 01:01:11.639
were busy killing Lucy, they put uh Mina in a
1180
01:01:11.679 --> 01:01:14.440
safe space, which did not work out, and now she
1181
01:01:15.119 --> 01:01:19.239
has chosen to become a vampire because she is remembering
1182
01:01:19.719 --> 01:01:23.519
her past life with Dracula, and they have got to
1183
01:01:23.599 --> 01:01:26.559
go fetch him and kill him if they're gonna save
1184
01:01:26.920 --> 01:01:27.440
her life.
1185
01:01:28.039 --> 01:01:30.199
I mean, really a lot of people's lives.
1186
01:01:30.239 --> 01:01:32.400
Yeah, but mostly hers, because she's in the middle of
1187
01:01:32.400 --> 01:01:34.880
transitioning into a vampire and the only way to stop
1188
01:01:34.920 --> 01:01:36.400
it is to kill him.
1189
01:01:36.679 --> 01:01:39.039
Is to kill the Oh yeah, kill the original. Yeah
1190
01:01:39.079 --> 01:01:40.880
that's pretty.
1191
01:01:40.400 --> 01:01:45.639
Pretty basic lore, I mean for the most part. But yeah,
1192
01:01:45.960 --> 01:01:49.079
so that's where we're gonna stop it there. Uh. Frankly,
1193
01:01:49.159 --> 01:01:51.960
the movie's fucking wild. Everybody seems to be living on
1194
01:01:52.000 --> 01:01:58.079
their own goddamn planet, and it is everyone's motivations except
1195
01:01:58.079 --> 01:02:02.639
for like, like I said, like Quincy. Everyone else's motivations
1196
01:02:02.639 --> 01:02:05.599
are so weird. I get honestly, I get Jack, Quincy,
1197
01:02:05.599 --> 01:02:10.400
and Arthur. They all care about Lucy. Yeah, okay, but
1198
01:02:10.519 --> 01:02:15.920
like Jonathan is practically irrelevant after the first twenty minutes,
1199
01:02:17.239 --> 01:02:18.800
and they may come out to be a bigger character
1200
01:02:18.800 --> 01:02:22.440
and then he basically becomes irrelevant. Nina is all over
1201
01:02:22.480 --> 01:02:25.119
the fucking map. Pick a direction, lady.
1202
01:02:25.280 --> 01:02:27.679
I mean she's got to sort out her priorities.
1203
01:02:27.760 --> 01:02:30.960
Seriously, Lucy is frankly just a fucking victim.
1204
01:02:31.079 --> 01:02:33.840
So yeah, yeah, that's fair.
1205
01:02:34.039 --> 01:02:36.480
Kind of just got it screwed over by being Mina's friend.
1206
01:02:37.159 --> 01:02:39.960
I mean, yeah, she didn't know her, she'd probably be okay, yeah,
1207
01:02:40.039 --> 01:02:44.360
probably probably good God. I mean, I don't even know
1208
01:02:44.360 --> 01:02:46.559
where to start with this movie. For me, on my
1209
01:02:46.599 --> 01:02:50.559
thoughts and feelings, I guess I'll start with the camera work.
1210
01:02:51.159 --> 01:02:55.639
It was very jarring and very very like sickening sometimes
1211
01:02:55.679 --> 01:02:57.679
when they would do the like when you know, when
1212
01:02:57.760 --> 01:03:00.559
Dracula was like the werewolf speaking of let me go
1213
01:03:00.599 --> 01:03:03.840
down that rabbit trail real quick. Motherfucker can turn into
1214
01:03:03.880 --> 01:03:07.119
like fog and missed and a werewolf.
1215
01:03:07.199 --> 01:03:12.079
Now, I think it was supposed to be more of
1216
01:03:12.079 --> 01:03:14.400
a giant bat because he does actually become a giant
1217
01:03:14.400 --> 01:03:17.320
bat leader. And I think it was not a full transformation.
1218
01:03:18.280 --> 01:03:19.440
It wasn't really clear.
1219
01:03:20.119 --> 01:03:22.760
I've never heard of Dracula. I mean, you know, I
1220
01:03:22.800 --> 01:03:25.480
know the lore can change a lot with vampires, but
1221
01:03:25.599 --> 01:03:29.440
I've never personally heard. Oh you know, I thought it
1222
01:03:29.480 --> 01:03:31.800
was for me it was bats and smoke. That's all
1223
01:03:31.840 --> 01:03:34.840
I knew. Ever, But now now it's fog and missed
1224
01:03:34.920 --> 01:03:41.119
in yesesh. Anyways, but yeah, the camera work was extremely
1225
01:03:41.199 --> 01:03:43.960
jarring at times, and they were also doing these very
1226
01:03:44.000 --> 01:03:48.239
odd overlaying shots where you'd be watching someone on the
1227
01:03:48.280 --> 01:03:51.559
screen and then like Dracula's face would be looking down
1228
01:03:51.679 --> 01:03:55.079
in the background, but it's clearly an overlaid shot, or
1229
01:03:55.119 --> 01:03:57.519
his eyes at one point were in the background in
1230
01:03:57.559 --> 01:04:01.159
the mountains. There's so many over laying scenes, and it
1231
01:04:01.199 --> 01:04:02.199
was it was just.
1232
01:04:02.079 --> 01:04:05.320
I'm sorry, it was it's like a star trek with
1233
01:04:05.360 --> 01:04:08.159
the lens flares, we get it effects.
1234
01:04:08.320 --> 01:04:10.719
And also then like the shadows were cool, but then
1235
01:04:10.760 --> 01:04:13.199
eventually I'm like, we get it. The shadows are all
1236
01:04:13.239 --> 01:04:15.880
over the place, like with his hand and stuff. So
1237
01:04:15.920 --> 01:04:21.000
it's just it's very bizarre. So yeah, and then that
1238
01:04:21.280 --> 01:04:27.119
mixed with all the improper uh how how improperly people
1239
01:04:27.159 --> 01:04:31.880
were dressed. That was throwing me off a lot. And again,
1240
01:04:31.920 --> 01:04:36.760
why is this movie so fucking horny? Holy cow? But yeah,
1241
01:04:36.800 --> 01:04:39.199
I mean the good things to note were most of it.
1242
01:04:39.320 --> 01:04:42.400
I'm pretty sure actually all of it effects wise, besides
1243
01:04:42.440 --> 01:04:45.960
the overlaying was practical. So yeah, yeah, like the sets
1244
01:04:46.000 --> 01:04:49.239
were awesome. I really enjoyed all the makeup and costumes
1245
01:04:49.280 --> 01:04:53.039
and stuff like that, even if they were inaccurate whatever.
1246
01:04:53.880 --> 01:04:57.079
And then the acting for the most part was mediocre.
1247
01:04:57.119 --> 01:05:00.000
You know, I liked Gary Oldman, I liked Anthony Hopkins.
1248
01:05:00.199 --> 01:05:03.760
Carrie Yules was good. But then you have h Keanu Reeves,
1249
01:05:03.760 --> 01:05:06.119
which is in the trivia. I'll just go ahead and
1250
01:05:06.199 --> 01:05:09.400
read that now since we're here. Keanu Reeves, you know,
1251
01:05:09.440 --> 01:05:11.559
had mentioned years after the movie came out that he
1252
01:05:11.639 --> 01:05:14.000
was just not happy with his work. He had been
1253
01:05:14.000 --> 01:05:17.320
working on like a bunch of movies, and this was
1254
01:05:17.400 --> 01:05:19.920
right on the heels of signing on as Jonathan Harker,
1255
01:05:20.400 --> 01:05:22.760
and he tried to raise his energy for the role,
1256
01:05:22.800 --> 01:05:25.360
but quote, I just didn't have anything left to give
1257
01:05:26.039 --> 01:05:29.280
end quote. And even Francis Ford Coppola goes on to
1258
01:05:29.360 --> 01:05:32.400
kind of trail that with he has openly criticized his
1259
01:05:32.440 --> 01:05:35.440
own reasoning for casting Keanu as Jonathan. According to him,
1260
01:05:35.440 --> 01:05:37.719
you know, he needed a hot young star to connect
1261
01:05:37.760 --> 01:05:42.000
with female filmgoers. So that's kind of why Keanu is
1262
01:05:42.039 --> 01:05:44.719
not great in this, and it kind of makes sense,
1263
01:05:45.320 --> 01:05:49.559
but yeah, it's just and then he also, uh, freaking
1264
01:05:49.679 --> 01:05:52.880
what's her face? Buyers? What's her Winona Ryder, she the
1265
01:05:52.960 --> 01:05:55.719
accent just was not working for me at all. A
1266
01:05:55.760 --> 01:05:57.920
lot of people had to kind of phone in their accents,
1267
01:05:57.960 --> 01:06:01.000
So overall, for me, I gave this a two. I
1268
01:06:01.000 --> 01:06:03.280
don't know how in the holy fuck it has a
1269
01:06:03.400 --> 01:06:05.400
three point six out of five just.
1270
01:06:05.360 --> 01:06:08.519
Before Copla directed it. And that's like, like, you know
1271
01:06:08.559 --> 01:06:13.199
what it is? Sometimes movies they get credit for having
1272
01:06:13.199 --> 01:06:15.320
a good name on it, and it's like, just because
1273
01:06:15.360 --> 01:06:17.679
someone's name is on it doesn't make it good.
1274
01:06:18.280 --> 01:06:20.559
I know. It's just weird because there's so many other
1275
01:06:20.679 --> 01:06:23.519
movies that I feel deserve better ratings because they're yeah,
1276
01:06:23.519 --> 01:06:26.639
but this three point six. Like did I watch a
1277
01:06:26.679 --> 01:06:29.519
different cut of this movie? What was there a less
1278
01:06:29.519 --> 01:06:30.320
horny version?
1279
01:06:30.960 --> 01:06:31.159
No?
1280
01:06:31.639 --> 01:06:35.199
Yeah, So it's just it's bad. I'm sorry. You can
1281
01:06:35.239 --> 01:06:37.679
hate me all you want. It's it's a In my opinion,
1282
01:06:37.760 --> 01:06:40.119
it is just a bad movie. I tried liking it.
1283
01:06:40.239 --> 01:06:41.960
I really did, And this is the second time I
1284
01:06:42.000 --> 01:06:44.400
watched it, and it was even worse the second time.
1285
01:06:44.440 --> 01:06:46.480
The first time I gave it a three, I was like, Okay,
1286
01:06:46.519 --> 01:06:49.880
that was good, and then rewatching it and I'm like, nope, nope, nope, nope,
1287
01:06:49.880 --> 01:06:51.840
full star down. This is bad. So I gave it
1288
01:06:51.840 --> 01:06:54.639
to what would you have given it? Or what did
1289
01:06:54.679 --> 01:06:58.360
you give it? Two? Yeah, it's just it's just not great.
1290
01:06:58.719 --> 01:07:00.119
So yeah, like I said, it's got a three two
1291
01:07:00.159 --> 01:07:03.360
point six out of five on letter Box and then
1292
01:07:03.360 --> 01:07:05.840
it's got like a seven point four out of ten
1293
01:07:05.880 --> 01:07:09.880
on IMDb. Ah, how does this? How does this happen?
1294
01:07:09.880 --> 01:07:12.599
I don't understand. Yeah, I mean I know what we're
1295
01:07:12.639 --> 01:07:15.039
saying is very accurate. You know, people, people who were
1296
01:07:15.079 --> 01:07:19.800
in it. Director, it makes sense, but yikes. So yeah,
1297
01:07:19.840 --> 01:07:21.440
do you have anything else to say on the matter
1298
01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:23.239
on the film.
1299
01:07:23.400 --> 01:07:28.400
Oh, we also talked about it. We had to read
1300
01:07:28.400 --> 01:07:32.280
goofs because we were like talking about they're in here.
1301
01:07:32.360 --> 01:07:36.199
Yeah. Yeah, we're doing trivia and goofs Now. And again,
1302
01:07:36.280 --> 01:07:39.239
this is all from IMDb. Don't quote quote me if
1303
01:07:39.239 --> 01:07:42.000
these are actually accurate. They're just fun to read. True
1304
01:07:42.119 --> 01:07:45.000
or not, it's just all stuff that's listed in IMDb trivia.
1305
01:07:45.119 --> 01:07:48.679
So Gary Oldman apparently hired a singing coach to help
1306
01:07:48.760 --> 01:07:51.800
him lower his voice by an octave to help him
1307
01:07:51.800 --> 01:07:55.199
give Dracula a more sinister quality. That's pretty cool. Good
1308
01:07:55.239 --> 01:07:58.679
on you for going the extra mile. At the first
1309
01:07:58.679 --> 01:08:01.719
cast meeting called by a produce and director Francis Procoppola.
1310
01:08:02.079 --> 01:08:04.719
He got all of the principal actors and actresses to
1311
01:08:04.840 --> 01:08:08.400
read the entire Bronstoker novel out loud to get a
1312
01:08:08.440 --> 01:08:11.280
feel for the story. According to Anthony Hopkins, it took
1313
01:08:11.320 --> 01:08:13.920
a whole two days to complete.
1314
01:08:13.760 --> 01:08:18.079
Which is possible because the book is written in journal
1315
01:08:18.239 --> 01:08:21.880
entry or in letter format. Oh yeah, so it's literally
1316
01:08:21.920 --> 01:08:23.520
written from first person perspective.
1317
01:08:23.600 --> 01:08:26.479
Oh that's cool. Yeah. So when Mina went on, a
1318
01:08:26.479 --> 01:08:30.000
writer recalls her previous life as Elisabetta. She says she
1319
01:08:30.079 --> 01:08:33.239
remembers a land beyond a great forest, which is the
1320
01:08:33.359 --> 01:08:36.399
literal meaning of Transylvania is a land beyond the forest,
1321
01:08:36.640 --> 01:08:39.319
or a land beyond a great forest. And that's pretty cool.
1322
01:08:39.319 --> 01:08:43.119
I had no idea. Preview audiences are alleged to have
1323
01:08:43.159 --> 01:08:46.399
found this movie to gory, so twenty five minutes of
1324
01:08:46.439 --> 01:08:50.119
footage was cut out to make it less bloody. Kind of.
1325
01:08:50.760 --> 01:08:52.880
I don't really need twenty five more minutes, but I
1326
01:08:52.920 --> 01:08:57.039
would watch a twenty five minute extra gore cut for sure. Yeah,
1327
01:08:57.119 --> 01:08:59.560
it'd be a very brisk two thirty three cut out
1328
01:08:59.560 --> 01:09:02.840
some of the can we do that? Can we get
1329
01:09:02.840 --> 01:09:08.119
a cut where that exact thing happens, I will champion that. Steve. Okay,
1330
01:09:08.199 --> 01:09:10.319
So this is where it gets crazy. Here are all
1331
01:09:10.359 --> 01:09:13.279
the people that could have possibly been in this movie.
1332
01:09:13.560 --> 01:09:16.600
Steve Bushimi was the first choice to play Renfield, but
1333
01:09:16.640 --> 01:09:19.560
turned it down. That would have been fun. Liam Neeson
1334
01:09:19.680 --> 01:09:23.319
was considered for Van Helsing, but after Anthony Hopkins, who
1335
01:09:23.399 --> 01:09:25.600
was still riding the success of Silence of the Lambs,
1336
01:09:25.720 --> 01:09:30.720
showed interest, Neisson was ultimately turned down, and then Coppola
1337
01:09:30.760 --> 01:09:33.279
wanted Johnny Depp to play Harker, but the studio wanted
1338
01:09:33.319 --> 01:09:35.920
someone who was more of a mainstream heart throb, hence
1339
01:09:35.960 --> 01:09:39.640
why Keanu Reeves was cast. Drew Barrymore was considered for
1340
01:09:39.680 --> 01:09:42.640
the role of Mina, Charlie Sheen auditioned for the role
1341
01:09:42.640 --> 01:09:46.359
of Jonathan Harker. Ian Dury was amongst those interviewed for
1342
01:09:46.439 --> 01:09:49.439
Ryan Field, and Michael Keaton was considered to play Dracula.
1343
01:09:49.520 --> 01:09:51.680
Let me just like a horrifying movie. Let me give
1344
01:09:51.680 --> 01:09:54.119
you this, Let me just like listen to this. If
1345
01:09:54.159 --> 01:09:58.239
we had this movie with Michael Keaton as Dracula, Charlie
1346
01:09:58.279 --> 01:10:02.840
Sheen as Jonathan, Drew Barrymore as Mina, and Liam Neeson
1347
01:10:02.920 --> 01:10:07.000
as Van Helsing and six Steve Bushimmy at Risk Ranfield.
1348
01:10:06.960 --> 01:10:08.600
Sounds like a dumpster fire.
1349
01:10:09.039 --> 01:10:11.079
Like those are all great people, but it would have
1350
01:10:11.159 --> 01:10:12.560
been even worse. I feel.
1351
01:10:12.680 --> 01:10:15.760
I can't imagine Drew Barrymore and Johnny Depp being love interests.
1352
01:10:15.840 --> 01:10:19.199
That's what I'm saying. Well, Drew Barrymore, I said, Charlie Sheen,
1353
01:10:19.600 --> 01:10:20.600
not Johnny Dap.
1354
01:10:20.640 --> 01:10:22.840
You know I'm saying, Oh yeah, Jonathan har.
1355
01:10:22.840 --> 01:10:25.880
So, that would have been a wildly different movie for
1356
01:10:26.399 --> 01:10:29.680
oh Man, so many reasons. So let's get onto the
1357
01:10:29.720 --> 01:10:33.560
goofs here before we wrap this up. Something we already
1358
01:10:33.600 --> 01:10:38.720
spoke on. When Dracula bites Mina her twentieth century bikini briefs,
1359
01:10:39.079 --> 01:10:40.720
never heard them said like, oh, I.
1360
01:10:40.760 --> 01:10:42.399
Said, I mentioned Lucy's because there was.
1361
01:10:42.319 --> 01:10:44.520
Two Oh okay, well you can yeah, you can see
1362
01:10:44.520 --> 01:10:48.800
Mina's bikini bottoms that can be seen underneath her sheer
1363
01:10:49.239 --> 01:10:52.800
nineteenth century gown. And again this is eighteenth century, so
1364
01:10:53.079 --> 01:10:56.840
you've got twentieth or nineteenth century sheer in twentieth century
1365
01:10:56.840 --> 01:11:01.079
bikini bottoms. What the fuck? During Lucy's and counter Jacula
1366
01:11:01.159 --> 01:11:02.880
her night Oh yeah, here we go right here, Yeah,
1367
01:11:03.119 --> 01:11:05.279
her nightgown blows in the wind and revealing the red
1368
01:11:05.279 --> 01:11:08.960
modern underwear, but drawers were not wild or widely worn
1369
01:11:08.960 --> 01:11:13.000
in the West until then nineteen tens and again eighteen hundreds,
1370
01:11:13.039 --> 01:11:17.760
so yeah, there would have been pantaloon stockings, pantaloons stockings
1371
01:11:17.800 --> 01:11:20.800
with the crotch left open for easier useful of lavatories
1372
01:11:21.279 --> 01:11:25.000
fancy word for bathrooms. Fashion in this movie, taking place
1373
01:11:25.039 --> 01:11:27.800
in eighteen ninety seven, was confused with the fashion ten
1374
01:11:27.880 --> 01:11:30.840
years prior to this. Women wear a bustle at the
1375
01:11:30.840 --> 01:11:33.119
rear of their dress, which gives them a very curved
1376
01:11:33.159 --> 01:11:36.960
and big tush. Eighteen ninety seven, this fashion gimmick was
1377
01:11:37.439 --> 01:11:39.520
way out of style. And that's the funny thing about
1378
01:11:39.560 --> 01:11:42.399
like the eighteen hundreds is like style, it's not like
1379
01:11:42.520 --> 01:11:44.319
now where people kind of just dress how they want
1380
01:11:44.319 --> 01:11:46.439
to dress. Like, if you were dressing something that old,
1381
01:11:46.479 --> 01:11:49.479
you were probably poor. You could not afford the current fashion.
1382
01:11:49.520 --> 01:11:52.119
So I think that's kind of funny how drastically fashion
1383
01:11:52.239 --> 01:11:53.560
changed in those years.
1384
01:11:53.640 --> 01:11:57.760
It's very interesting, and some of them changed for weird reasons,
1385
01:11:57.800 --> 01:12:00.880
but then like some of them were fucking safety has.
1386
01:12:00.479 --> 01:12:04.079
Yeah, because you're a fire hazard walking around in that much.
1387
01:12:04.000 --> 01:12:06.520
Cotton, or like some of the dresses where the dresses
1388
01:12:06.600 --> 01:12:09.640
used to get cinched really tight around the feet, Like, yeah,
1389
01:12:09.800 --> 01:12:11.680
you can't fucking walk in that.
1390
01:12:11.680 --> 01:12:15.199
That's not yeah, it's not conducive for walking. Let's see
1391
01:12:15.199 --> 01:12:17.560
here in the beginning of the movie, we see the
1392
01:12:18.159 --> 01:12:20.520
lights on Dracula's carriage as well as some of the
1393
01:12:20.560 --> 01:12:23.920
castle lights. In the castle lights slash candles are twentieth
1394
01:12:23.960 --> 01:12:29.720
century light bulbs with some blue glaze. Again not time accurate,
1395
01:12:29.760 --> 01:12:32.399
time period, whatever you wanna call it. When Jack Seward
1396
01:12:32.439 --> 01:12:35.399
is interviewing Ryanfield in a cell and is subsequently attacked
1397
01:12:36.000 --> 01:12:38.039
by him, Ryinfield bites him on the right side of
1398
01:12:38.079 --> 01:12:40.720
the neck. When the orderlies run in to restrain Rhinfield,
1399
01:12:40.840 --> 01:12:43.119
Seward grabs the left side of his neck as if
1400
01:12:43.159 --> 01:12:43.680
it were in pain.
1401
01:12:43.760 --> 01:12:45.520
So that's funny because I said that to you, I'm like,
1402
01:12:45.520 --> 01:12:47.159
didn't he bite him on the other side?
1403
01:12:47.239 --> 01:12:50.560
So that's a goof. When Lucy gives Mina her ring
1404
01:12:50.600 --> 01:12:52.479
as a wedding gift, you later see it back on
1405
01:12:52.560 --> 01:12:55.800
Lucy's hand. That's another fun goof. And then I'll get
1406
01:12:55.800 --> 01:12:57.359
two more here. When Lucy and Mina are in the
1407
01:12:57.359 --> 01:12:59.560
maze running in the rain, you can see crew members
1408
01:12:59.560 --> 01:13:02.279
standing by. Heind Lucy during one of her laughing close ups.
1409
01:13:02.319 --> 01:13:05.920
I did not catch that, but that's pretty interesting. And
1410
01:13:05.960 --> 01:13:08.079
then the last one I found funny is when Arthur
1411
01:13:08.159 --> 01:13:10.680
is thrown backwards in his chair by Dracula in the bedroom,
1412
01:13:10.720 --> 01:13:13.279
the wire pulling the actor is visible. I thought I
1413
01:13:13.319 --> 01:13:15.039
saw that, but I wasn't sure, and I didn't. I
1414
01:13:15.039 --> 01:13:16.880
didn't say anything because I was like, I feel like
1415
01:13:16.920 --> 01:13:19.760
that was a wire again. Seven point four out of
1416
01:13:19.760 --> 01:13:22.640
ten on IMDb, three point six out of five on Letterbox.
1417
01:13:23.600 --> 01:13:25.600
That is Brownstrokers Dracula.
1418
01:13:25.279 --> 01:13:26.359
Oh oh boy boy.
1419
01:13:27.199 --> 01:13:31.039
Apparently it is widely accepted by audiences, but not Frightmares approved.
1420
01:13:31.079 --> 01:13:34.039
I'm gonna say this is the first unapproved movie of
1421
01:13:34.079 --> 01:13:37.680
the year. Not recommending this one. I just can't. I
1422
01:13:37.720 --> 01:13:39.640
own it on four K, though, so we can watch
1423
01:13:39.680 --> 01:13:42.119
that one. Ever we'd like, oh, never again, never again?
1424
01:13:42.199 --> 01:13:46.880
Probably So yeah, Hey, two episodes in one movie at piece.
1425
01:13:46.880 --> 01:13:49.960
We're hitting our time. This is good stuff. Very excited
1426
01:13:50.000 --> 01:13:51.920
for next week. I have no idea what we're doing
1427
01:13:52.279 --> 01:13:54.600
because I'm just flying by the seat of my pants
1428
01:13:54.680 --> 01:13:57.279
for this for this month. Once we get into February,
1429
01:13:57.319 --> 01:13:59.479
we'll start planning shit and figure it out. We're just
1430
01:13:59.560 --> 01:14:02.600
kind of trying while running these one movie episodes, which
1431
01:14:02.640 --> 01:14:05.800
are apparently working. So go ahead and follow us on
1432
01:14:05.800 --> 01:14:09.720
Facebook at fright Maars and Instagram at Frightmar's podcast, as
1433
01:14:09.720 --> 01:14:13.720
well as slasher app at Frightmar's podcast, Uh already said
1434
01:14:13.720 --> 01:14:16.760
that fucking Twitter. At Fright Mayor's Underscore pod. I am
1435
01:14:16.880 --> 01:14:21.279
doctor Proctor on Letterbox. You are Watson l n P
1436
01:14:21.560 --> 01:14:25.039
ninety LIMP ninety Yeah. Like I said, don't know what
1437
01:14:25.079 --> 01:14:27.600
we're doing next week, but just go ahead and tune
1438
01:14:27.640 --> 01:14:32.720
in for that ship and until until sure you want
1439
01:14:32.720 --> 01:14:34.079
to you want to see if Zool wants to say
1440
01:14:34.079 --> 01:14:39.479
anything she sleeping? Yeah, well until next week, stay tuned
1441
01:14:39.560 --> 01:14:41.319
and stay spooky. Get by