WEBVTT
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[SPEAKER_01]: You're listening to a 4th Girls podcast, Flashback Friday episode.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Every Friday, I re-share an older episode for new listeners who haven't heard it, or as a refresher for OG listeners who might need to hear it again as a reminder.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Enjoy and I'll see you with a new episode on Monday.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, hello, welcome back to another episode of For The Girls.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host Victoria Persebelli and today we're going to be talking about such a good topic because this came through from a dear Victoria submission.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's going to be about like.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Friendships and insecurities and people and jealousy and people and all that kind of stuff.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is something that I really I not to say that I enjoy talking about because who feels like talking about jealous or wedges and insecure people not me However, I like to discuss it whether it is on the podcast or with my confidence coaching clients because I feel like it is
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[SPEAKER_01]: such important information for people to know and understand because it will help you navigate through life completely, definitely like you will view people from such a different lens.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And here's the unfortunate thing that happens.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The unfortunate thing when you become so aware of what jealousy can look like and insecurities can look like how people wear their insecurities.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The unfortunate thing is then you notice it in like everybody and you realize how many people really struggle with these things and like for the most part like I would say most people are generally good people.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't think that most people are walking around with bad intentions and malintent and they want to hurt your feelings.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't view life that way.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't view life as like everyone's out to get me and everyone's always jealous of me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't.
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[SPEAKER_01]: However.
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[SPEAKER_01]: There becomes this awareness, a self-awareness, a situational awareness, a social awareness, where you start to pick up on behavior patterns, things that people say, things that people do, and you're like, oh my god, that is stemmed from their own insecurity.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Whether they are even aware of it or not.
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[SPEAKER_01]: they might not be acting in the sense of like, yeah, I'm jealous of this person, but you'll start to notice and see through people's behaviors and actions and words, and why I say it's unfortunate, because then you're like, I'm too aware of stuff.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I wanna live my life a little bit more ignorant.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I just like wish I didn't notice everything.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, it's a blessing and a curse, being so aware and just like,
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[SPEAKER_01]: being able to read everybody and everything and you're like, oh, I get where that's coming from.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I understand even if you don't see yourself, I see you girl.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like it's nice to have that superpower, but at the same time it's also like, I would ignorance is bliss and I would love to live my life with freaking blindfolds on and have no idea what's going on.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And only have to worry about myself and I don't have to think about anybody else, but unfortunately,
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[SPEAKER_01]: the more we raise our awareness, the reality is we can just pick up on everything.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it might sometimes be a lot to carry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It might be a heavy load.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I could also dive into a little bit of like how to how to carry that load.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Let me like give my answer to this person situation first.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then once I like get through that, I think I'll be able to kind of tell you how to just
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[SPEAKER_01]: Being aware and knowing it, but also getting to a mature standpoint of not having to do anything about it, just letting people be who they are, you know.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Before I, you know, get into the segment, I just want to put it out there that you too can email me your situations and ask for advice, make sure that you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: make the subject line say Dear Victoria for it to have the chance to be featured as a Dear Victoria submission on an upcoming episode with a relevant topic.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The email address is Victoria.for the girls podcast at gmail.com.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Try to keep it as condensed as possible.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I know people love to
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[SPEAKER_01]: give me a long story long because I want to include all the timestamps and the details and the receipts and this and that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But I cannot spend 20 minutes reading your story.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm going to read this story and I'm going to give you my full analysis and I know for a fact that so many of you girls will relate whether you concurrently relate or you can relate in the past to having a friend in your life who's like Loki and undercover hater who just like,
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[SPEAKER_01]: wants to be your friend, but like maybe for the wrong reasons or whatever the case is, let's get right into it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Here's the submission.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Dear Victoria, I am a teenage girl who had a friend messing with my mental health.
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[SPEAKER_01]: For context, we have been friends for about six years, and at the start, she was really kind, a good friend, we went on trips together, but then she became toxic.
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[SPEAKER_01]: A little over a year ago, I was with another friend, and when she was trying to find a picture on her phone that she sent to that friend, when they were looking through the text messages to look for a photo,
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[SPEAKER_01]: This girl, the one setting in the email, happened to come across mean texts about herself from the other girl.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So the girl she's writing about sent mean texts about her to the other friend and they saw it because she was going through the phone trying to find a photo that was sent.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and then come to find out that this happened a lot that she always was talking crap about her basically.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So from then, we started to only hang out in group settings, never want to want anymore.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And she became closer to other people in the group.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And since then, we don't really talk the only time she ever text me is asking me something or something.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She's very dry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And she only ever talks about boys too.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, when she texts with other friends, she has genuine conversation with them.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She cut that off with her.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Now, she puts other people down to make herself feel better.
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[SPEAKER_01]: If I say I do a sport to someone, she'll say that she does two harder sports.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I have played tennis for two years.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She has played for three months.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She made the tennis team because she got private with a coach, which is something that I unfortunately don't have the money for.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then she rubs it in my face in front of others.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I will admit that I'm a little bit jealous.
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[SPEAKER_01]: only because I'm only a little bit jealous because jealousy is not my whole personality, but these feelings are coming up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: All of my crushes have liked her instead of me, even the guy that I was in love with asked for her number, and she said yes, even though she thought he was ugly.
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[SPEAKER_01]: blah blah blah blah blah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Now I feel ugly and I started to feel like nothing around her.
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[SPEAKER_01]: When it comes to myself, I can't pull a guy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how to flirt.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not having a glow up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't feel confident in my looks because of my insecurities.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And now I find myself comparing myself to her.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Please know that this is not just all jealousy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I've grown past that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I just don't know what to do.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Here's the thing, first of all, I love when young girls write into me because like, listen, I'm 30.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm no spring chicken, but like I love knowing that like I'm helping the next generation of girls.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Because as a teenager, I did not have someone like myself, you know, teaching me these things, learning these things, I didn't know what boundaries were and all of these sorts of like mental health anything.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I also grew up in a different time.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it was like the earlier 2000s.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So like,
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[SPEAKER_01]: This was not, these conversations weren't had and these topics were not discussed in my forms of entertainment.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was watching the Disney Channel.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't listening to podcast.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know podcast existed at that time.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We only had AM and FM radio.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, I just, I love knowing that like younger girls are learning so much and will be so emotionally intelligent, you know, into their 20s.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's amazing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: With that being said,
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't blame you at your age and your stage of life for starting to feel those little bits of jealousy because I get it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, let me just have my thing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I like the guy you take the guy for me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I like the sport, I play the sport.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You're spending more money to get better at it than me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, let me just have my thing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I get it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But here's the honest truth.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I actually think she's more jealous of you than you are of her.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The difference is you may feel the jealousy over these surface level tangible things that she's getting or doing or having.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She comes from more money.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She has the guy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, wow, she has it so good.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm jealous of those surface level things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Guess what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Those surface level things are temporary, meaningless, useless.
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[SPEAKER_01]: They actually don't have any value.
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[SPEAKER_01]: and don't add any value to your life.
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[SPEAKER_01]: When it comes to the guy, it's like, okay, what do I have to lose?
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[SPEAKER_01]: This guy doesn't like me, which means he's not my man.
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[SPEAKER_01]: He's not the love of my life.
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[SPEAKER_01]: He's not my soul mate.
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[SPEAKER_01]: He's not gonna be my husband.
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[SPEAKER_01]: When it comes to love and guys, the only guy that you should want is the guy who mutually loves you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The guy who wants to be with you as much as you wanna be with him.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So at the end of the day, sure, you could have a crush.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But if he doesn't like you back,
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not a loss because you can't possibly lose what's not meant for you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So really who cares?
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[SPEAKER_01]: When it comes to the sports, she can't take away the fact that you could go pro.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, if you wanna be a pro tennis player and that's your dream in life, you wanna be Vanessa and Serena Williams, you wanna be like the next best Olympian tennis player whatever the case is.
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[SPEAKER_01]: her being good at tennis has literally nothing to do with that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You could both be good at tennis and you could still achieve your dream.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Do you know what I mean?
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[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like it doesn't matter that she's getting these things or doing these these things or having these things because none of that will ever really hold any value in your actual life.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Now, why I say I'm finding that she's actually
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[SPEAKER_01]: is that there is something that you have that she cannot get or have.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that is why based on the context that I'm getting and there was also more context in the email.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I just kind of condensed it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Based on the fact that it's like, you know, you mentioned in the email, but I didn't read it here.
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[SPEAKER_01]: There was like three guys that you liked and then like she went for those three guys or something like that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: only somebody who is jealous of things that they can't possibly get from you that they can't possibly have would do something like that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Meaning, she's jealous of things that you have that can't be bought, that can't be copied, that can't be duplicated.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So she's pulling at these
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[SPEAKER_01]: you have an aura or a light or a way about you, a personality, whatever the case is, there are things that money can't buy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And there are things that are too deep in the surface that you can't physically explain or hold.
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[SPEAKER_01]: They're not tangible, you can't see it, you can't grab it, you can't buy it, you can't do something with it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Those things about a person,
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[SPEAKER_01]: what you have in you that she lacks in herself, that's the value.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Those things that are valuable, that she cannot get her hands on, she is trying to get at whatever she can to maybe just walk a minute in your shoes and to feel the way that you feel.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Jealousy and wanting what someone has is not always based on a physical thing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: there are things about you that she wishes that she had in her self, and because you cannot just take what someone has in themselves, you can only go for what you can physically grab what you can physically go for.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you know what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm making this up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know anything about you or what you look like.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, oh, well, I'm I'm skinnier than her.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm prettier than her.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I have more close and her.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I have this in that sure have all of it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And you might feel a little stang of like I wish I had those clothes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I wish I had those things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But there's an on fulfillment in her life.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's making her.
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[SPEAKER_01]: spiral.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's making her want what you have, but it's not enough because she's trying to steal the recipe, but she still can't steal.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She can't get the sauce.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like you can copy the recipe.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You can take everything I have, but there's still a light within me that you don't have within yourself.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like something about you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever it is that's making her put you down in front of people, try to make you feel bad, being distant with you, being short with you, talking crap about you, something within you, makes her feel inferior.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And makes her feel like the only way that I could be lifted up around this person or about this person or in comparison to this person is by putting her down.
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[SPEAKER_01]: that's simply it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So if someone only feels better about themselves by putting you down first, what does that tell you?
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[SPEAKER_01]: That that person feels inferior to you or insecure around you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It could be that she's jealous of the way that people love you, the way that people see you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She's insecure about the friendships that you have.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Your friends with these two girls,
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[SPEAKER_01]: Now, she needs to be closer with these two girls.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She can't handle, you know, them loving you and liking you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So she has to talk bad about you to that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, why?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Why does that make you feel better?
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[SPEAKER_01]: What does that tell you?
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[SPEAKER_01]: It tells you that there is something within you that she wishes she had within herself.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Point blank, there is something that you have about you,
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[SPEAKER_01]: the dynamics of the relationships in your life or the way that you care yourself or just the fact that you're like a happy person.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, I'm not even a jealous person.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just good, like I feel confident, but then when these things, she puts me down.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, of course, you're a teenager.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You're young, that's normal.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's gonna happen.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But the bigger pictures that there's something about you and within you, that she wishes that she had in herself.
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[SPEAKER_01]: and no money can buy that and no tennis classes and being the best tennis can fulfill that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing, nothing surface level can fulfill that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Think about it, you had a crush on a guy and when he's your crush, she tells you, oh, he's ugly.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But then when he likes her and asks for her number,
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[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, sure, I'll give you my number.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Why?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I thought that you thought he was ugly.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, because I like him.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And if you could take more things for me, you're gonna be willing to take as much for me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You would leave me with nothing to make sure that I suffer to make sure that I have nothing, you will take everything even if it's not what you want.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So now what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: She's gonna get a boyfriend that she doesn't like, that she doesn't think is ugly simply because you like him.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Kuku, this girl is Kuku.
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[SPEAKER_01]: There is an issue.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Only someone who is unhappy with themselves and insecure in themselves would do something like that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: If she were normal and confident in cool, she would tell that guy, no thank you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Cause in her head, she's like, I know I don't like this guy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I know I think he's ugly and quite frankly, my friend likes him.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So why would I go for a guy that I don't even like, if my friend likes him?
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's not, that's not cool.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not gonna roll like that, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's how a normal person would think.
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[SPEAKER_01]: someone who's happy with themselves and content with themselves.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But obviously, this person is in silent competition with you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it doesn't seem that silent.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It seems like she's doing it out loud.
17:03.814 --> 17:05.355
[SPEAKER_01]: But she's in competition with you.
17:06.516 --> 17:07.577
[SPEAKER_01]: And you don't even know why.
17:07.997 --> 17:09.318
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not even competing with her.
17:09.458 --> 17:10.519
[SPEAKER_01]: You're just living your life.
17:11.019 --> 17:12.020
[SPEAKER_01]: Mining your own business.
17:12.561 --> 17:14.722
[SPEAKER_01]: Taking tennis, doing tennis for three years.
17:14.842 --> 17:17.765
[SPEAKER_01]: Or whatever, how long did you say?
17:17.805 --> 17:18.385
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, two years.
17:18.746 --> 17:20.087
[SPEAKER_01]: You're doing tennis for two years.
17:21.002 --> 17:48.931
[SPEAKER_01]: You're just living your life, you have your friends, you have your sport, you have your crushes, you have your thing, and for some reason, she's seeing all of this as a competition, but guess what, it's a one sided competition, she could take the trophy because you're not competing with her, let her make herself look stupid, let her compete on her own because you, you're not even lifting a finger, you're not even doing anything.
17:49.935 --> 18:00.398
[SPEAKER_01]: So whatever this competition stuff is that she's doing with you, let her win it, let her talk about you, let her take the guys, let her get on the tennis team.
18:00.738 --> 18:10.961
[SPEAKER_01]: There's still something about you that money can't buy, that a boy will not fulfill, that a sport will not fulfill, that she will never get to have.
18:11.461 --> 18:14.342
[SPEAKER_01]: And so for that reason alone, you win.
18:15.903 --> 18:16.223
[SPEAKER_01]: Because
18:17.698 --> 18:19.599
[SPEAKER_01]: You're you and that's enough.
18:20.379 --> 18:20.940
[SPEAKER_01]: That's enough.
18:21.340 --> 18:21.900
[SPEAKER_01]: You're you.
18:22.921 --> 18:24.281
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be a good person.
18:24.301 --> 18:25.542
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be a kind person.
18:25.582 --> 18:30.044
[SPEAKER_01]: You're a good friend and all that and that's literally all that matters.
18:30.564 --> 18:35.787
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing else matters, especially when it comes to things like sports and guys.
18:36.760 --> 18:45.927
[SPEAKER_01]: you will still have a guy, you're a teenager, you have many years to go of heart breaks and boyfriends and this and that, you will still get a guy and you will still be able to play tennis.
18:46.588 --> 18:51.812
[SPEAKER_01]: She can't take anything away from you that is going to be in your life and meant for you.
18:52.252 --> 18:52.773
[SPEAKER_01]: Point blank.
18:53.754 --> 19:01.620
[SPEAKER_01]: So if a confrontation ever happened or if she ever said it into you or whatever the case was, you have the confidence to tell her,
19:02.410 --> 19:04.091
[SPEAKER_01]: You, you can win this competition.
19:04.231 --> 19:05.251
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not competing with you.
19:05.871 --> 19:09.693
[SPEAKER_01]: The only person I want to be get better at in tennis against is myself.
19:10.213 --> 19:12.734
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to be better this year than I was last year.
19:12.934 --> 19:14.195
[SPEAKER_01]: That's my competition.
19:14.695 --> 19:15.095
[SPEAKER_01]: Not you.
19:15.956 --> 19:17.116
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not competing against you.
19:18.037 --> 19:19.297
[SPEAKER_01]: Cause you don't matter to me.
19:19.717 --> 19:22.158
[SPEAKER_01]: My, it literally does not matter.
19:22.819 --> 19:27.120
[SPEAKER_01]: So that, having that confidence to say, I don't know what your issue is.
19:27.921 --> 19:28.761
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have an issue.
19:28.841 --> 19:29.642
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm competing with me.
19:29.662 --> 19:30.622
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not competing with you.
19:31.917 --> 19:49.832
[SPEAKER_01]: That's, that'll really, that'll, it's like, it's like a dig, it's like not to say an insult, but it's like getting at, getting her without being mean to her without saying something to her because to me it's like, You don't have to be mean to someone to, um,
19:50.727 --> 19:57.790
[SPEAKER_01]: to make them feel stupid, like she's making herself feel stupid with the things that she's doing, you don't have to stoop to that level.
19:58.210 --> 19:59.230
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to be me.
19:59.851 --> 20:03.812
[SPEAKER_01]: You just have to be yourself and be confident and be like, what's your issue?
20:04.812 --> 20:08.814
[SPEAKER_01]: And that and itself will make someone feel like, wait, is this one side of beef?
20:09.014 --> 20:09.874
[SPEAKER_01]: Like what am I doing?
20:09.994 --> 20:12.075
[SPEAKER_01]: Like am I crazy?
20:12.095 --> 20:13.156
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, yeah, you are.
20:13.176 --> 20:16.477
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so glad that you finally realized it because I'm not giving you the time of day.
20:16.857 --> 20:17.637
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not bothering
20:20.617 --> 20:28.053
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of what I wanted to get into with how I said before, like, you know, I'll tell you how to handle it because here's the thing.
20:30.123 --> 20:41.170
[SPEAKER_01]: You can pay attention, you could be aware that someone is silently competing with you, that someone is taking their own personal insecurities out on you, simply by the things that they say you're doing.
20:41.730 --> 20:43.892
[SPEAKER_01]: Example, she's talking bad about you.
20:44.032 --> 20:49.935
[SPEAKER_01]: When you never talk bad about her, you're giving her nothing to even say, you're giving her no reason to talk about you.
20:50.216 --> 20:51.977
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, why are you talking about me?
20:52.537 --> 20:58.160
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you obviously have an insecurity that requires you to put me down in order for yourself to feel better.
20:59.523 --> 21:04.044
[SPEAKER_01]: than the other example was talking down, you know, trying to put you down in front of people.
21:04.604 --> 21:05.564
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I play tennis.
21:05.584 --> 21:06.205
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm good at tennis.
21:06.245 --> 21:07.005
[SPEAKER_01]: I play for two years.
21:07.145 --> 21:10.046
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, well, I've only played for three months and I already made the team.
21:10.546 --> 21:18.208
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, there's obviously even security that requires her to put you down in order for her to feel superior because for some reason she feels inferior.
21:18.508 --> 21:19.808
[SPEAKER_01]: So all these little things,
21:21.499 --> 21:34.923
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll raise your awareness in general in any sort of situation where it's like, okay, this person has an insecurity, this person is jealous of me and I'm sure there's a million different examples of things that people say and do that rub you the wrong way.
21:34.943 --> 21:41.025
[SPEAKER_01]: That just don't sit right that you could read the energy you could just tell what something is off, you know.
21:42.625 --> 21:47.709
[SPEAKER_01]: And while, yes, like two things can be true, and two things can happen at the same time.
21:47.869 --> 21:54.674
[SPEAKER_01]: On one end, you can be completely aware of this, but on the other end, you can let this not affect you at all.
21:55.675 --> 22:08.445
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you could have the mental capacity and maturity and emotional intelligence to say, like, this person is actually going through their own internal battle and taking it out on me.
22:10.390 --> 22:12.171
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be that person.
22:12.351 --> 22:14.332
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be mentally struggling.
22:14.533 --> 22:16.374
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be fighting with someone.
22:16.474 --> 22:21.637
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to bring myself all the way down to that level of entertaining this drama or whatever.
22:21.697 --> 22:26.420
[SPEAKER_01]: And being mean, like, I don't like that vibe of like, girls being mean to each other.
22:27.050 --> 22:31.611
[SPEAKER_01]: Cady, drama, and this, and that, and clicky, and I'm friends with this one, so you can't be friends with this one.
22:31.631 --> 22:46.994
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you could be aware of what's happening while at the same time, saying, but that's my boundary, and that's my self-respect, because to me, how you react, shows how you respect yourself.
22:48.154 --> 22:54.395
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it might not even be for her sake, because it's like, I'm not here to do you any favors and make it easy on you.
22:55.262 --> 22:58.964
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm, I'm, I, I, I want to have peace in my life.
22:59.264 --> 23:00.444
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm doing this for myself.
23:00.585 --> 23:02.065
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm doing this for my own sanity.
23:02.085 --> 23:04.186
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm doing this for my own mental health.
23:04.967 --> 23:06.847
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to stoop to your level.
23:07.188 --> 23:10.949
[SPEAKER_01]: Not only because I don't want to make this situation.
23:11.009 --> 23:13.251
[SPEAKER_01]: Not, not saying like, oh, well, let me not.
23:13.271 --> 23:14.151
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me be nice.
23:14.251 --> 23:15.372
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to hurt her.
23:15.392 --> 23:17.132
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to make things too hard on her.
23:17.152 --> 23:18.033
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not because of that.
23:18.133 --> 23:21.194
[SPEAKER_01]: It's because when you think about it, it's like, what will you get out of
23:24.617 --> 23:25.017
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing.
23:25.858 --> 23:27.839
[SPEAKER_01]: What will you get out of being mean to her?
23:28.700 --> 23:29.140
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing.
23:29.801 --> 23:31.582
[SPEAKER_01]: What will you get out of fighting with her?
23:32.422 --> 23:32.943
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing.
23:34.063 --> 23:44.851
[SPEAKER_01]: All that matters is you're able to kill them with kindness and use that kindness as your boundary and as your example of self-respect.
23:46.906 --> 23:51.669
[SPEAKER_01]: have this self-respect to say, I respect myself enough where I'm not gonna embarrass myself.
23:52.150 --> 23:53.351
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not gonna fight with you.
23:53.771 --> 23:58.054
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to why should you fight with her over boys?
23:58.694 --> 24:00.756
[SPEAKER_01]: Why should you fight with her over tennis?
24:01.136 --> 24:03.038
[SPEAKER_01]: Why should you fight with her over her opinion?
24:04.719 --> 24:11.183
[SPEAKER_01]: These things should have absolutely no effect on your life because again, it's surface level and it doesn't matter.
24:11.844 --> 24:13.505
[SPEAKER_01]: And when it comes to someone's opinion,
24:15.799 --> 24:22.723
[SPEAKER_01]: If I were to argue with you about your opinion, that is me telling you that I value your opinion.
24:23.343 --> 24:25.764
[SPEAKER_01]: When the truth is, I don't care what you think of me.
24:25.984 --> 24:27.685
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care about your opinion.
24:28.285 --> 24:30.907
[SPEAKER_01]: So why would I make you think that I care?
24:31.047 --> 24:33.268
[SPEAKER_01]: Why would I act like I care about your opinion?
24:33.288 --> 24:35.089
[SPEAKER_01]: Why would I fight with you about your opinion?
24:35.569 --> 24:43.553
[SPEAKER_01]: If she's talking crap about you to friends or in front of people, especially if you're there and she makes a comment,
24:43.991 --> 24:45.552
[SPEAKER_01]: that makes you feel uncomfortable.
24:46.352 --> 24:49.313
[SPEAKER_01]: Literally all you would have to say is like, and that's your opinion.
24:49.673 --> 24:50.754
[SPEAKER_01]: You're entitled to have that.
24:50.774 --> 24:52.114
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't matter to me.
24:52.434 --> 24:53.315
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't affect me.
24:53.475 --> 24:55.156
[SPEAKER_01]: I literally don't care about your opinion.
24:55.736 --> 24:57.056
[SPEAKER_01]: I know the truth of my life.
24:57.677 --> 25:00.338
[SPEAKER_01]: My friends and my family, my loved ones, know the truth of my life.
25:00.998 --> 25:03.459
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's all that matters.
25:03.659 --> 25:05.160
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I don't value your opinion.
25:05.200 --> 25:07.180
[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't need to argue with you about your opinion.
25:07.240 --> 25:08.541
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care about your opinion.
25:09.701 --> 25:10.502
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't affect me.
25:14.639 --> 25:16.860
[SPEAKER_01]: I saw a TikTok that I loved.
25:16.940 --> 25:36.825
[SPEAKER_01]: And this girl was like, and just because I am nice to you, like I still can be kind and cordial with you, knowing what I know about the things that you're saying, the things that you do, doesn't mean that I'm unaware of the situation.
25:37.085 --> 25:42.487
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, she says something like, I'm completely aware of everything.
25:43.684 --> 25:49.165
[SPEAKER_01]: But your opinion means so little to me that it's not worth my energy of me not being nice to you.
25:49.625 --> 25:55.167
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not worth my energy of me, you know, not, I'm going to try to find the TikTok.
25:55.207 --> 26:05.309
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not worth my energy of me going against who I am to my core because in my core, like this is who I am, like I'm a good person who, um,
26:06.223 --> 26:10.404
[SPEAKER_01]: who I don't want to be someone who argues and fights and whatever and all these kind of things.
26:10.564 --> 26:18.126
[SPEAKER_01]: Like if that's not who I am and that's not true to me, then why should I go against who I really am?
26:18.246 --> 26:18.986
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep, I found it.
26:19.066 --> 26:22.307
[SPEAKER_01]: The creator is Morgan B. Cohen.
26:23.007 --> 26:25.988
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna put it up to the microphone and I hope that you guys can hear it.
26:26.608 --> 26:33.710
[SPEAKER_00]: The thing that people don't understand is just because I am nice to you, it's only because that's how human being should be.
26:34.953 --> 26:37.994
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean that I don't know what you've said behind my back.
26:38.555 --> 26:43.277
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean that I'm stupid and oblivious to the things that you say when I'm not around.
26:43.737 --> 26:44.517
[SPEAKER_00]: I know everything.
26:44.977 --> 26:47.518
[SPEAKER_00]: I find out everything even when I'm not looking for it.
26:47.919 --> 26:49.319
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's what you should know.
26:50.019 --> 26:53.661
[SPEAKER_00]: Your opinion means so little to me that I don't react.
26:55.015 --> 26:58.417
[SPEAKER_00]: you don't even deserve a reaction.
26:59.017 --> 27:00.618
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I don't say anything.
27:00.658 --> 27:05.641
[SPEAKER_00]: And I will always be kind to you because you are making me feel like I'm cocoa.
27:06.481 --> 27:11.784
[SPEAKER_00]: My soul will never be forgotten because you use my name and your conversations with random people.
27:13.405 --> 27:15.046
[SPEAKER_00]: to keep the conversation interesting.
27:15.927 --> 27:21.471
[SPEAKER_00]: And that just means that you're keeping me relevant in life, even if it's negative.
27:22.051 --> 27:22.972
[SPEAKER_00]: That's how I think.
27:23.592 --> 27:25.594
[SPEAKER_00]: So you can wonder why she's so nice to me.
27:26.114 --> 27:28.456
[SPEAKER_00]: It's because I don't care.
27:29.337 --> 27:33.760
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think every person should still be nice, even when you don't really like someone.
27:35.481 --> 27:36.502
[SPEAKER_01]: How good is that?
27:37.391 --> 27:43.052
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we should end it on that note because that's exactly she just summed up essentially my thoughts.
27:43.712 --> 27:45.133
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care what you think about me.
27:45.873 --> 27:53.734
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to maintain my own energy and I'm still going to be a good human and a nice human and just go about my business the way that I want.
27:54.255 --> 28:03.597
[SPEAKER_01]: So you can do what you want to do, but you're only making yourself look crazy and you're only making yourself look insecure and you can play this competition by yourself
28:05.890 --> 28:08.271
[SPEAKER_01]: So here's your trophy, congrats, you win.
28:09.491 --> 28:10.232
[SPEAKER_01]: So that is that.
28:10.872 --> 28:20.995
[SPEAKER_01]: And if anybody else needs advice on a situation, please email me, Victoria.for the girls podcast at gmail.com with the subject line, Dear Victoria.
28:21.595 --> 28:28.698
[SPEAKER_01]: And I will be more than happy to give you some advice on your situations and scenarios in an upcoming episode of For The Girls.
28:29.418 --> 28:30.899
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is all that we have for today.
28:31.279 --> 28:34.760
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you girls so much for listening until next time girls.
00:00.111 --> 00:03.733
[SPEAKER_01]: You're listening to a 4th Girls podcast, Flashback Friday episode.
00:04.253 --> 00:13.537
[SPEAKER_01]: Every Friday, I re-share an older episode for new listeners who haven't heard it, or as a refresher for OG listeners who might need to hear it again as a reminder.
00:14.037 --> 00:16.698
[SPEAKER_01]: Enjoy and I'll see you with a new episode on Monday.
00:27.832 --> 00:31.276
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, hello, welcome back to another episode of For The Girls.
00:31.476 --> 00:42.127
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host Victoria Persebelli and today we're going to be talking about such a good topic because this came through from a dear Victoria submission.
00:42.187 --> 00:42.948
[SPEAKER_01]: It's going to be about like.
00:43.348 --> 00:47.773
[SPEAKER_01]: Friendships and insecurities and people and jealousy and people and all that kind of stuff.
00:47.913 --> 01:03.611
[SPEAKER_01]: This is something that I really I not to say that I enjoy talking about because who feels like talking about jealous or wedges and insecure people not me However, I like to discuss it whether it is on the podcast or with my confidence coaching clients because I feel like it is
01:05.011 --> 01:16.777
[SPEAKER_01]: such important information for people to know and understand because it will help you navigate through life completely, definitely like you will view people from such a different lens.
01:16.977 --> 01:19.258
[SPEAKER_01]: And here's the unfortunate thing that happens.
01:19.638 --> 01:27.882
[SPEAKER_01]: The unfortunate thing when you become so aware of what jealousy can look like and insecurities can look like how people wear their insecurities.
01:29.283 --> 01:42.229
[SPEAKER_01]: The unfortunate thing is then you notice it in like everybody and you realize how many people really struggle with these things and like for the most part like I would say most people are generally good people.
01:42.829 --> 01:48.851
[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't think that most people are walking around with bad intentions and malintent and they want to hurt your feelings.
01:49.132 --> 01:51.172
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't view life that way.
01:51.312 --> 01:55.414
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't view life as like everyone's out to get me and everyone's always jealous of me.
01:55.514 --> 01:55.894
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't.
01:56.415 --> 01:56.795
[SPEAKER_01]: However.
01:57.957 --> 02:13.304
[SPEAKER_01]: There becomes this awareness, a self-awareness, a situational awareness, a social awareness, where you start to pick up on behavior patterns, things that people say, things that people do, and you're like, oh my god, that is stemmed from their own insecurity.
02:13.764 --> 02:16.285
[SPEAKER_01]: Whether they are even aware of it or not.
02:17.185 --> 02:31.709
[SPEAKER_01]: they might not be acting in the sense of like, yeah, I'm jealous of this person, but you'll start to notice and see through people's behaviors and actions and words, and why I say it's unfortunate, because then you're like, I'm too aware of stuff.
02:32.469 --> 02:35.690
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanna live my life a little bit more ignorant.
02:36.190 --> 02:38.611
[SPEAKER_01]: I just like wish I didn't notice everything.
02:38.991 --> 02:43.332
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, it's a blessing and a curse, being so aware and just like,
02:43.860 --> 02:49.724
[SPEAKER_01]: being able to read everybody and everything and you're like, oh, I get where that's coming from.
02:49.744 --> 02:53.747
[SPEAKER_01]: I understand even if you don't see yourself, I see you girl.
02:54.368 --> 03:05.736
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like it's nice to have that superpower, but at the same time it's also like, I would ignorance is bliss and I would love to live my life with freaking blindfolds on and have no idea what's going on.
03:05.876 --> 03:10.279
[SPEAKER_01]: And only have to worry about myself and I don't have to think about anybody else, but unfortunately,
03:11.340 --> 03:17.642
[SPEAKER_01]: the more we raise our awareness, the reality is we can just pick up on everything.
03:18.342 --> 03:21.003
[SPEAKER_01]: And it might sometimes be a lot to carry.
03:21.103 --> 03:22.664
[SPEAKER_01]: It might be a heavy load.
03:23.264 --> 03:27.866
[SPEAKER_01]: I could also dive into a little bit of like how to how to carry that load.
03:28.446 --> 03:32.307
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me like give my answer to this person situation first.
03:32.407 --> 03:38.009
[SPEAKER_01]: And then once I like get through that, I think I'll be able to kind of tell you how to just
03:40.577 --> 03:50.187
[SPEAKER_01]: Being aware and knowing it, but also getting to a mature standpoint of not having to do anything about it, just letting people be who they are, you know.
03:51.949 --> 04:01.979
[SPEAKER_01]: Before I, you know, get into the segment, I just want to put it out there that you too can email me your situations and ask for advice, make sure that you.
04:02.662 --> 04:11.451
[SPEAKER_01]: make the subject line say Dear Victoria for it to have the chance to be featured as a Dear Victoria submission on an upcoming episode with a relevant topic.
04:11.871 --> 04:16.416
[SPEAKER_01]: The email address is Victoria.for the girls podcast at gmail.com.
04:17.377 --> 04:20.360
[SPEAKER_01]: Try to keep it as condensed as possible.
04:20.380 --> 04:21.721
[SPEAKER_01]: I know people love to
04:22.729 --> 04:27.690
[SPEAKER_01]: give me a long story long because I want to include all the timestamps and the details and the receipts and this and that.
04:28.510 --> 04:30.671
[SPEAKER_01]: But I cannot spend 20 minutes reading your story.
04:30.791 --> 04:31.091
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
04:31.611 --> 04:49.335
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm going to read this story and I'm going to give you my full analysis and I know for a fact that so many of you girls will relate whether you concurrently relate or you can relate in the past to having a friend in your life who's like Loki and undercover hater who just like,
04:51.136 --> 04:57.365
[SPEAKER_01]: wants to be your friend, but like maybe for the wrong reasons or whatever the case is, let's get right into it.
04:58.226 --> 04:59.007
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's the submission.
04:59.928 --> 05:05.456
[SPEAKER_01]: Dear Victoria, I am a teenage girl who had a friend messing with my mental health.
05:05.998 --> 05:15.487
[SPEAKER_01]: For context, we have been friends for about six years, and at the start, she was really kind, a good friend, we went on trips together, but then she became toxic.
05:15.968 --> 05:27.058
[SPEAKER_01]: A little over a year ago, I was with another friend, and when she was trying to find a picture on her phone that she sent to that friend, when they were looking through the text messages to look for a photo,
05:28.053 --> 05:34.579
[SPEAKER_01]: This girl, the one setting in the email, happened to come across mean texts about herself from the other girl.
05:34.980 --> 05:43.848
[SPEAKER_01]: So the girl she's writing about sent mean texts about her to the other friend and they saw it because she was going through the phone trying to find a photo that was sent.
05:45.092 --> 05:50.896
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and then come to find out that this happened a lot that she always was talking crap about her basically.
05:51.457 --> 05:55.259
[SPEAKER_01]: So from then, we started to only hang out in group settings, never want to want anymore.
05:55.580 --> 05:57.581
[SPEAKER_01]: And she became closer to other people in the group.
05:57.821 --> 06:02.885
[SPEAKER_01]: And since then, we don't really talk the only time she ever text me is asking me something or something.
06:02.965 --> 06:04.005
[SPEAKER_01]: She's very dry.
06:04.606 --> 06:06.807
[SPEAKER_01]: And she only ever talks about boys too.
06:08.048 --> 06:11.531
[SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, when she texts with other friends, she has genuine conversation with them.
06:11.971 --> 06:13.112
[SPEAKER_01]: She cut that off with her.
06:14.682 --> 06:17.943
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, she puts other people down to make herself feel better.
06:18.424 --> 06:23.506
[SPEAKER_01]: If I say I do a sport to someone, she'll say that she does two harder sports.
06:24.106 --> 06:25.747
[SPEAKER_01]: I have played tennis for two years.
06:26.007 --> 06:27.368
[SPEAKER_01]: She has played for three months.
06:27.748 --> 06:32.910
[SPEAKER_01]: She made the tennis team because she got private with a coach, which is something that I unfortunately don't have the money for.
06:34.090 --> 06:36.231
[SPEAKER_01]: And then she rubs it in my face in front of others.
06:37.452 --> 06:39.133
[SPEAKER_01]: I will admit that I'm a little bit jealous.
06:40.153 --> 06:47.396
[SPEAKER_01]: only because I'm only a little bit jealous because jealousy is not my whole personality, but these feelings are coming up.
06:47.676 --> 06:56.680
[SPEAKER_01]: All of my crushes have liked her instead of me, even the guy that I was in love with asked for her number, and she said yes, even though she thought he was ugly.
06:57.500 --> 06:58.281
[SPEAKER_01]: blah blah blah blah blah.
06:58.681 --> 07:01.744
[SPEAKER_01]: Now I feel ugly and I started to feel like nothing around her.
07:02.225 --> 07:04.527
[SPEAKER_01]: When it comes to myself, I can't pull a guy.
07:04.587 --> 07:05.628
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how to flirt.
07:05.688 --> 07:06.849
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not having a glow up.
07:06.889 --> 07:09.532
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't feel confident in my looks because of my insecurities.
07:09.972 --> 07:12.034
[SPEAKER_01]: And now I find myself comparing myself to her.
07:12.514 --> 07:14.516
[SPEAKER_01]: Please know that this is not just all jealousy.
07:14.636 --> 07:15.677
[SPEAKER_01]: I've grown past that.
07:15.737 --> 07:17.359
[SPEAKER_01]: I just don't know what to do.
07:17.960 --> 07:18.200
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
07:19.327 --> 07:25.172
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's the thing, first of all, I love when young girls write into me because like, listen, I'm 30.
07:25.472 --> 07:30.736
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm no spring chicken, but like I love knowing that like I'm helping the next generation of girls.
07:30.816 --> 07:41.985
[SPEAKER_01]: Because as a teenager, I did not have someone like myself, you know, teaching me these things, learning these things, I didn't know what boundaries were and all of these sorts of like mental health anything.
07:42.225 --> 07:43.606
[SPEAKER_01]: I also grew up in a different time.
07:43.626 --> 07:45.387
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it was like the earlier 2000s.
07:45.467 --> 07:45.888
[SPEAKER_01]: So like,
07:46.468 --> 07:53.093
[SPEAKER_01]: This was not, these conversations weren't had and these topics were not discussed in my forms of entertainment.
07:53.173 --> 07:54.414
[SPEAKER_01]: I was watching the Disney Channel.
07:54.454 --> 07:55.795
[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't listening to podcast.
07:55.815 --> 07:57.997
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know podcast existed at that time.
07:58.797 --> 08:00.639
[SPEAKER_01]: We only had AM and FM radio.
08:01.599 --> 08:09.305
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, I just, I love knowing that like younger girls are learning so much and will be so emotionally intelligent, you know, into their 20s.
08:09.365 --> 08:10.246
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's amazing.
08:11.207 --> 08:12.208
[SPEAKER_01]: With that being said,
08:13.258 --> 08:21.241
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't blame you at your age and your stage of life for starting to feel those little bits of jealousy because I get it.
08:21.461 --> 08:23.242
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, let me just have my thing.
08:23.462 --> 08:25.403
[SPEAKER_01]: I like the guy you take the guy for me.
08:25.523 --> 08:27.224
[SPEAKER_01]: I like the sport, I play the sport.
08:27.704 --> 08:30.025
[SPEAKER_01]: You're spending more money to get better at it than me.
08:30.065 --> 08:31.606
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, let me just have my thing.
08:31.666 --> 08:32.786
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I get it.
08:34.287 --> 08:36.268
[SPEAKER_01]: But here's the honest truth.
08:37.508 --> 08:41.570
[SPEAKER_01]: I actually think she's more jealous of you than you are of her.
08:43.007 --> 08:52.489
[SPEAKER_01]: The difference is you may feel the jealousy over these surface level tangible things that she's getting or doing or having.
08:52.989 --> 08:54.209
[SPEAKER_01]: She comes from more money.
08:54.850 --> 08:55.910
[SPEAKER_01]: She has the guy.
08:56.290 --> 08:57.930
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, wow, she has it so good.
08:58.110 --> 09:01.011
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm jealous of those surface level things.
09:01.691 --> 09:02.111
[SPEAKER_01]: Guess what?
09:02.691 --> 09:07.692
[SPEAKER_01]: Those surface level things are temporary, meaningless, useless.
09:07.773 --> 09:09.773
[SPEAKER_01]: They actually don't have any value.
09:10.587 --> 09:12.388
[SPEAKER_01]: and don't add any value to your life.
09:12.848 --> 09:16.151
[SPEAKER_01]: When it comes to the guy, it's like, okay, what do I have to lose?
09:16.571 --> 09:19.052
[SPEAKER_01]: This guy doesn't like me, which means he's not my man.
09:19.753 --> 09:20.934
[SPEAKER_01]: He's not the love of my life.
09:20.994 --> 09:21.994
[SPEAKER_01]: He's not my soul mate.
09:22.054 --> 09:23.295
[SPEAKER_01]: He's not gonna be my husband.
09:24.056 --> 09:29.299
[SPEAKER_01]: When it comes to love and guys, the only guy that you should want is the guy who mutually loves you.
09:29.539 --> 09:31.941
[SPEAKER_01]: The guy who wants to be with you as much as you wanna be with him.
09:32.341 --> 09:34.382
[SPEAKER_01]: So at the end of the day, sure, you could have a crush.
09:34.923 --> 09:36.484
[SPEAKER_01]: But if he doesn't like you back,
09:37.392 --> 09:41.053
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not a loss because you can't possibly lose what's not meant for you.
09:41.633 --> 09:43.174
[SPEAKER_01]: So really who cares?
09:43.694 --> 09:48.755
[SPEAKER_01]: When it comes to the sports, she can't take away the fact that you could go pro.
09:48.915 --> 10:01.879
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, if you wanna be a pro tennis player and that's your dream in life, you wanna be Vanessa and Serena Williams, you wanna be like the next best Olympian tennis player whatever the case is.
10:02.679 --> 10:05.581
[SPEAKER_01]: her being good at tennis has literally nothing to do with that.
10:06.022 --> 10:09.665
[SPEAKER_01]: You could both be good at tennis and you could still achieve your dream.
10:09.845 --> 10:10.505
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you know what I mean?
10:10.545 --> 10:22.215
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like it doesn't matter that she's getting these things or doing these these things or having these things because none of that will ever really hold any value in your actual life.
10:23.416 --> 10:27.379
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, why I say I'm finding that she's actually
10:30.072 --> 10:36.817
[SPEAKER_01]: is that there is something that you have that she cannot get or have.
10:37.838 --> 10:44.282
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is why based on the context that I'm getting and there was also more context in the email.
10:44.342 --> 10:45.583
[SPEAKER_01]: I just kind of condensed it.
10:46.063 --> 10:50.266
[SPEAKER_01]: Based on the fact that it's like, you know, you mentioned in the email, but I didn't read it here.
10:50.306 --> 10:55.090
[SPEAKER_01]: There was like three guys that you liked and then like she went for those three guys or something like that.
10:58.285 --> 11:07.891
[SPEAKER_01]: only somebody who is jealous of things that they can't possibly get from you that they can't possibly have would do something like that.
11:08.691 --> 11:17.376
[SPEAKER_01]: Meaning, she's jealous of things that you have that can't be bought, that can't be copied, that can't be duplicated.
11:17.737 --> 11:19.678
[SPEAKER_01]: So she's pulling at these
11:27.477 --> 11:38.261
[SPEAKER_01]: you have an aura or a light or a way about you, a personality, whatever the case is, there are things that money can't buy.
11:39.182 --> 11:44.924
[SPEAKER_01]: And there are things that are too deep in the surface that you can't physically explain or hold.
11:45.124 --> 11:50.687
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not tangible, you can't see it, you can't grab it, you can't buy it, you can't do something with it.
11:51.847 --> 11:53.568
[SPEAKER_01]: Those things about a person,
11:55.340 --> 12:00.721
[SPEAKER_01]: what you have in you that she lacks in herself, that's the value.
12:01.281 --> 12:13.623
[SPEAKER_01]: Those things that are valuable, that she cannot get her hands on, she is trying to get at whatever she can to maybe just walk a minute in your shoes and to feel the way that you feel.
12:16.624 --> 12:21.805
[SPEAKER_01]: Jealousy and wanting what someone has is not always based on a physical thing.
12:23.840 --> 12:40.056
[SPEAKER_01]: there are things about you that she wishes that she had in her self, and because you cannot just take what someone has in themselves, you can only go for what you can physically grab what you can physically go for.
12:41.197 --> 12:42.258
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you know what?
12:43.337 --> 12:43.817
[SPEAKER_01]: It's fine.
12:44.618 --> 12:45.338
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm making this up.
12:45.358 --> 12:47.020
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know anything about you or what you look like.
12:47.160 --> 12:49.641
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, oh, well, I'm I'm skinnier than her.
12:49.841 --> 12:50.802
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm prettier than her.
12:51.022 --> 12:52.283
[SPEAKER_01]: I have more close and her.
12:52.303 --> 12:55.765
[SPEAKER_01]: I have this in that sure have all of it.
12:56.246 --> 13:00.208
[SPEAKER_01]: And you might feel a little stang of like I wish I had those clothes.
13:00.228 --> 13:01.229
[SPEAKER_01]: I wish I had those things.
13:02.310 --> 13:04.791
[SPEAKER_01]: But there's an on fulfillment in her life.
13:05.812 --> 13:06.853
[SPEAKER_01]: That's making her.
13:08.688 --> 13:09.248
[SPEAKER_01]: spiral.
13:09.328 --> 13:19.634
[SPEAKER_01]: That's making her want what you have, but it's not enough because she's trying to steal the recipe, but she still can't steal.
13:19.714 --> 13:20.915
[SPEAKER_01]: She can't get the sauce.
13:21.836 --> 13:23.837
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like you can copy the recipe.
13:23.897 --> 13:29.760
[SPEAKER_01]: You can take everything I have, but there's still a light within me that you don't have within yourself.
13:30.661 --> 13:32.542
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like something about you.
13:33.682 --> 13:49.512
[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever it is that's making her put you down in front of people, try to make you feel bad, being distant with you, being short with you, talking crap about you, something within you, makes her feel inferior.
13:50.993 --> 14:01.120
[SPEAKER_01]: And makes her feel like the only way that I could be lifted up around this person or about this person or in comparison to this person is by putting her down.
14:03.450 --> 14:04.291
[SPEAKER_01]: that's simply it.
14:04.911 --> 14:12.176
[SPEAKER_01]: So if someone only feels better about themselves by putting you down first, what does that tell you?
14:13.917 --> 14:19.221
[SPEAKER_01]: That that person feels inferior to you or insecure around you.
14:21.362 --> 14:25.485
[SPEAKER_01]: It could be that she's jealous of the way that people love you, the way that people see you.
14:25.605 --> 14:29.027
[SPEAKER_01]: She's insecure about the friendships that you have.
14:29.227 --> 14:30.408
[SPEAKER_01]: Your friends with these two girls,
14:32.818 --> 14:34.779
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, she needs to be closer with these two girls.
14:35.099 --> 14:38.320
[SPEAKER_01]: She can't handle, you know, them loving you and liking you.
14:38.340 --> 14:40.161
[SPEAKER_01]: So she has to talk bad about you to that.
14:41.461 --> 14:43.262
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, why?
14:43.622 --> 14:45.843
[SPEAKER_01]: Why does that make you feel better?
14:47.023 --> 14:48.244
[SPEAKER_01]: What does that tell you?
14:48.644 --> 14:54.766
[SPEAKER_01]: It tells you that there is something within you that she wishes she had within herself.
14:56.347 --> 15:00.129
[SPEAKER_01]: Point blank, there is something that you have about you,
15:01.685 --> 15:09.567
[SPEAKER_01]: the dynamics of the relationships in your life or the way that you care yourself or just the fact that you're like a happy person.
15:09.607 --> 15:11.568
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, I'm not even a jealous person.
15:11.628 --> 15:17.289
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just good, like I feel confident, but then when these things, she puts me down.
15:17.349 --> 15:18.970
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, of course, you're a teenager.
15:19.030 --> 15:20.130
[SPEAKER_01]: You're young, that's normal.
15:20.150 --> 15:20.910
[SPEAKER_01]: That's gonna happen.
15:22.391 --> 15:29.613
[SPEAKER_01]: But the bigger pictures that there's something about you and within you, that she wishes that she had in herself.
15:31.547 --> 15:39.311
[SPEAKER_01]: and no money can buy that and no tennis classes and being the best tennis can fulfill that.
15:40.311 --> 15:42.973
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing, nothing surface level can fulfill that.
15:43.293 --> 15:48.896
[SPEAKER_01]: Think about it, you had a crush on a guy and when he's your crush, she tells you, oh, he's ugly.
15:50.096 --> 15:52.678
[SPEAKER_01]: But then when he likes her and asks for her number,
15:53.700 --> 15:55.862
[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, sure, I'll give you my number.
15:56.242 --> 15:56.502
[SPEAKER_01]: Why?
15:56.522 --> 15:58.624
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought that you thought he was ugly.
15:59.164 --> 16:00.445
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, because I like him.
16:01.166 --> 16:05.048
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you could take more things for me, you're gonna be willing to take as much for me.
16:05.389 --> 16:11.793
[SPEAKER_01]: You would leave me with nothing to make sure that I suffer to make sure that I have nothing, you will take everything even if it's not what you want.
16:12.594 --> 16:13.134
[SPEAKER_01]: So now what?
16:13.535 --> 16:17.818
[SPEAKER_01]: She's gonna get a boyfriend that she doesn't like, that she doesn't think is ugly simply because you like him.
16:19.985 --> 16:22.675
[SPEAKER_01]: Kuku, this girl is Kuku.
16:23.257 --> 16:24.260
[SPEAKER_01]: There is an issue.
16:25.269 --> 16:30.773
[SPEAKER_01]: Only someone who is unhappy with themselves and insecure in themselves would do something like that.
16:31.413 --> 16:36.317
[SPEAKER_01]: If she were normal and confident in cool, she would tell that guy, no thank you.
16:36.657 --> 16:39.099
[SPEAKER_01]: Cause in her head, she's like, I know I don't like this guy.
16:39.419 --> 16:42.081
[SPEAKER_01]: I know I think he's ugly and quite frankly, my friend likes him.
16:42.561 --> 16:45.543
[SPEAKER_01]: So why would I go for a guy that I don't even like, if my friend likes him?
16:46.284 --> 16:48.765
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not, that's not cool.
16:48.845 --> 16:50.867
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not gonna roll like that, right?
16:50.927 --> 16:52.528
[SPEAKER_01]: That's how a normal person would think.
16:53.005 --> 16:55.507
[SPEAKER_01]: someone who's happy with themselves and content with themselves.
16:56.048 --> 16:59.630
[SPEAKER_01]: But obviously, this person is in silent competition with you.
17:00.151 --> 17:01.412
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it doesn't seem that silent.
17:01.432 --> 17:02.833
[SPEAKER_01]: It seems like she's doing it out loud.
17:03.814 --> 17:05.355
[SPEAKER_01]: But she's in competition with you.
17:06.516 --> 17:07.577
[SPEAKER_01]: And you don't even know why.
17:07.997 --> 17:09.318
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not even competing with her.
17:09.458 --> 17:10.519
[SPEAKER_01]: You're just living your life.
17:11.019 --> 17:12.020
[SPEAKER_01]: Mining your own business.
17:12.561 --> 17:14.722
[SPEAKER_01]: Taking tennis, doing tennis for three years.
17:14.842 --> 17:17.765
[SPEAKER_01]: Or whatever, how long did you say?
17:17.805 --> 17:18.385
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, two years.
17:18.746 --> 17:20.087
[SPEAKER_01]: You're doing tennis for two years.
17:21.002 --> 17:48.931
[SPEAKER_01]: You're just living your life, you have your friends, you have your sport, you have your crushes, you have your thing, and for some reason, she's seeing all of this as a competition, but guess what, it's a one sided competition, she could take the trophy because you're not competing with her, let her make herself look stupid, let her compete on her own because you, you're not even lifting a finger, you're not even doing anything.
17:49.935 --> 18:00.398
[SPEAKER_01]: So whatever this competition stuff is that she's doing with you, let her win it, let her talk about you, let her take the guys, let her get on the tennis team.
18:00.738 --> 18:10.961
[SPEAKER_01]: There's still something about you that money can't buy, that a boy will not fulfill, that a sport will not fulfill, that she will never get to have.
18:11.461 --> 18:14.342
[SPEAKER_01]: And so for that reason alone, you win.
18:15.903 --> 18:16.223
[SPEAKER_01]: Because
18:17.698 --> 18:19.599
[SPEAKER_01]: You're you and that's enough.
18:20.379 --> 18:20.940
[SPEAKER_01]: That's enough.
18:21.340 --> 18:21.900
[SPEAKER_01]: You're you.
18:22.921 --> 18:24.281
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be a good person.
18:24.301 --> 18:25.542
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be a kind person.
18:25.582 --> 18:30.044
[SPEAKER_01]: You're a good friend and all that and that's literally all that matters.
18:30.564 --> 18:35.787
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing else matters, especially when it comes to things like sports and guys.
18:36.760 --> 18:45.927
[SPEAKER_01]: you will still have a guy, you're a teenager, you have many years to go of heart breaks and boyfriends and this and that, you will still get a guy and you will still be able to play tennis.
18:46.588 --> 18:51.812
[SPEAKER_01]: She can't take anything away from you that is going to be in your life and meant for you.
18:52.252 --> 18:52.773
[SPEAKER_01]: Point blank.
18:53.754 --> 19:01.620
[SPEAKER_01]: So if a confrontation ever happened or if she ever said it into you or whatever the case was, you have the confidence to tell her,
19:02.410 --> 19:04.091
[SPEAKER_01]: You, you can win this competition.
19:04.231 --> 19:05.251
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not competing with you.
19:05.871 --> 19:09.693
[SPEAKER_01]: The only person I want to be get better at in tennis against is myself.
19:10.213 --> 19:12.734
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to be better this year than I was last year.
19:12.934 --> 19:14.195
[SPEAKER_01]: That's my competition.
19:14.695 --> 19:15.095
[SPEAKER_01]: Not you.
19:15.956 --> 19:17.116
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not competing against you.
19:18.037 --> 19:19.297
[SPEAKER_01]: Cause you don't matter to me.
19:19.717 --> 19:22.158
[SPEAKER_01]: My, it literally does not matter.
19:22.819 --> 19:27.120
[SPEAKER_01]: So that, having that confidence to say, I don't know what your issue is.
19:27.921 --> 19:28.761
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have an issue.
19:28.841 --> 19:29.642
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm competing with me.
19:29.662 --> 19:30.622
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not competing with you.
19:31.917 --> 19:49.832
[SPEAKER_01]: That's, that'll really, that'll, it's like, it's like a dig, it's like not to say an insult, but it's like getting at, getting her without being mean to her without saying something to her because to me it's like, You don't have to be mean to someone to, um,
19:50.727 --> 19:57.790
[SPEAKER_01]: to make them feel stupid, like she's making herself feel stupid with the things that she's doing, you don't have to stoop to that level.
19:58.210 --> 19:59.230
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to be me.
19:59.851 --> 20:03.812
[SPEAKER_01]: You just have to be yourself and be confident and be like, what's your issue?
20:04.812 --> 20:08.814
[SPEAKER_01]: And that and itself will make someone feel like, wait, is this one side of beef?
20:09.014 --> 20:09.874
[SPEAKER_01]: Like what am I doing?
20:09.994 --> 20:12.075
[SPEAKER_01]: Like am I crazy?
20:12.095 --> 20:13.156
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, yeah, you are.
20:13.176 --> 20:16.477
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so glad that you finally realized it because I'm not giving you the time of day.
20:16.857 --> 20:17.637
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not bothering
20:20.617 --> 20:28.053
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of what I wanted to get into with how I said before, like, you know, I'll tell you how to handle it because here's the thing.
20:30.123 --> 20:41.170
[SPEAKER_01]: You can pay attention, you could be aware that someone is silently competing with you, that someone is taking their own personal insecurities out on you, simply by the things that they say you're doing.
20:41.730 --> 20:43.892
[SPEAKER_01]: Example, she's talking bad about you.
20:44.032 --> 20:49.935
[SPEAKER_01]: When you never talk bad about her, you're giving her nothing to even say, you're giving her no reason to talk about you.
20:50.216 --> 20:51.977
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, why are you talking about me?
20:52.537 --> 20:58.160
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you obviously have an insecurity that requires you to put me down in order for yourself to feel better.
20:59.523 --> 21:04.044
[SPEAKER_01]: than the other example was talking down, you know, trying to put you down in front of people.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I play tennis.
21:05.584 --> 21:06.205
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm good at tennis.
21:06.245 --> 21:07.005
[SPEAKER_01]: I play for two years.
21:07.145 --> 21:10.046
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, well, I've only played for three months and I already made the team.
21:10.546 --> 21:18.208
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, there's obviously even security that requires her to put you down in order for her to feel superior because for some reason she feels inferior.
21:18.508 --> 21:19.808
[SPEAKER_01]: So all these little things,
21:21.499 --> 21:34.923
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll raise your awareness in general in any sort of situation where it's like, okay, this person has an insecurity, this person is jealous of me and I'm sure there's a million different examples of things that people say and do that rub you the wrong way.
21:34.943 --> 21:41.025
[SPEAKER_01]: That just don't sit right that you could read the energy you could just tell what something is off, you know.
21:42.625 --> 21:47.709
[SPEAKER_01]: And while, yes, like two things can be true, and two things can happen at the same time.
21:47.869 --> 21:54.674
[SPEAKER_01]: On one end, you can be completely aware of this, but on the other end, you can let this not affect you at all.
21:55.675 --> 22:08.445
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you could have the mental capacity and maturity and emotional intelligence to say, like, this person is actually going through their own internal battle and taking it out on me.
22:10.390 --> 22:12.171
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be that person.
22:12.351 --> 22:14.332
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be mentally struggling.
22:14.533 --> 22:16.374
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be fighting with someone.
22:16.474 --> 22:21.637
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to bring myself all the way down to that level of entertaining this drama or whatever.
22:21.697 --> 22:26.420
[SPEAKER_01]: And being mean, like, I don't like that vibe of like, girls being mean to each other.
22:27.050 --> 22:31.611
[SPEAKER_01]: Cady, drama, and this, and that, and clicky, and I'm friends with this one, so you can't be friends with this one.
22:31.631 --> 22:46.994
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you could be aware of what's happening while at the same time, saying, but that's my boundary, and that's my self-respect, because to me, how you react, shows how you respect yourself.
22:48.154 --> 22:54.395
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it might not even be for her sake, because it's like, I'm not here to do you any favors and make it easy on you.
22:55.262 --> 22:58.964
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm, I'm, I, I, I want to have peace in my life.
22:59.264 --> 23:00.444
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm doing this for myself.
23:00.585 --> 23:02.065
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm doing this for my own sanity.
23:02.085 --> 23:04.186
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm doing this for my own mental health.
23:04.967 --> 23:06.847
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to stoop to your level.
23:07.188 --> 23:10.949
[SPEAKER_01]: Not only because I don't want to make this situation.
23:11.009 --> 23:13.251
[SPEAKER_01]: Not, not saying like, oh, well, let me not.
23:13.271 --> 23:14.151
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me be nice.
23:14.251 --> 23:15.372
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to hurt her.
23:15.392 --> 23:17.132
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to make things too hard on her.
23:17.152 --> 23:18.033
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not because of that.
23:18.133 --> 23:21.194
[SPEAKER_01]: It's because when you think about it, it's like, what will you get out of
23:24.617 --> 23:25.017
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing.
23:25.858 --> 23:27.839
[SPEAKER_01]: What will you get out of being mean to her?
23:28.700 --> 23:29.140
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing.
23:29.801 --> 23:31.582
[SPEAKER_01]: What will you get out of fighting with her?
23:32.422 --> 23:32.943
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing.
23:34.063 --> 23:44.851
[SPEAKER_01]: All that matters is you're able to kill them with kindness and use that kindness as your boundary and as your example of self-respect.
23:46.906 --> 23:51.669
[SPEAKER_01]: have this self-respect to say, I respect myself enough where I'm not gonna embarrass myself.
23:52.150 --> 23:53.351
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not gonna fight with you.
23:53.771 --> 23:58.054
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to why should you fight with her over boys?
23:58.694 --> 24:00.756
[SPEAKER_01]: Why should you fight with her over tennis?
24:01.136 --> 24:03.038
[SPEAKER_01]: Why should you fight with her over her opinion?
24:04.719 --> 24:11.183
[SPEAKER_01]: These things should have absolutely no effect on your life because again, it's surface level and it doesn't matter.
24:11.844 --> 24:13.505
[SPEAKER_01]: And when it comes to someone's opinion,
24:15.799 --> 24:22.723
[SPEAKER_01]: If I were to argue with you about your opinion, that is me telling you that I value your opinion.
24:23.343 --> 24:25.764
[SPEAKER_01]: When the truth is, I don't care what you think of me.
24:25.984 --> 24:27.685
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care about your opinion.
24:28.285 --> 24:30.907
[SPEAKER_01]: So why would I make you think that I care?
24:31.047 --> 24:33.268
[SPEAKER_01]: Why would I act like I care about your opinion?
24:33.288 --> 24:35.089
[SPEAKER_01]: Why would I fight with you about your opinion?
24:35.569 --> 24:43.553
[SPEAKER_01]: If she's talking crap about you to friends or in front of people, especially if you're there and she makes a comment,
24:43.991 --> 24:45.552
[SPEAKER_01]: that makes you feel uncomfortable.
24:46.352 --> 24:49.313
[SPEAKER_01]: Literally all you would have to say is like, and that's your opinion.
24:49.673 --> 24:50.754
[SPEAKER_01]: You're entitled to have that.
24:50.774 --> 24:52.114
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't matter to me.
24:52.434 --> 24:53.315
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't affect me.
24:53.475 --> 24:55.156
[SPEAKER_01]: I literally don't care about your opinion.
24:55.736 --> 24:57.056
[SPEAKER_01]: I know the truth of my life.
24:57.677 --> 25:00.338
[SPEAKER_01]: My friends and my family, my loved ones, know the truth of my life.
25:00.998 --> 25:03.459
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's all that matters.
25:03.659 --> 25:05.160
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I don't value your opinion.
25:05.200 --> 25:07.180
[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't need to argue with you about your opinion.
25:07.240 --> 25:08.541
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care about your opinion.
25:09.701 --> 25:10.502
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't affect me.
25:14.639 --> 25:16.860
[SPEAKER_01]: I saw a TikTok that I loved.
25:16.940 --> 25:36.825
[SPEAKER_01]: And this girl was like, and just because I am nice to you, like I still can be kind and cordial with you, knowing what I know about the things that you're saying, the things that you do, doesn't mean that I'm unaware of the situation.
25:37.085 --> 25:42.487
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, she says something like, I'm completely aware of everything.
25:43.684 --> 25:49.165
[SPEAKER_01]: But your opinion means so little to me that it's not worth my energy of me not being nice to you.
25:49.625 --> 25:55.167
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not worth my energy of me, you know, not, I'm going to try to find the TikTok.
25:55.207 --> 26:05.309
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not worth my energy of me going against who I am to my core because in my core, like this is who I am, like I'm a good person who, um,
26:06.223 --> 26:10.404
[SPEAKER_01]: who I don't want to be someone who argues and fights and whatever and all these kind of things.
26:10.564 --> 26:18.126
[SPEAKER_01]: Like if that's not who I am and that's not true to me, then why should I go against who I really am?
26:18.246 --> 26:18.986
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep, I found it.
26:19.066 --> 26:22.307
[SPEAKER_01]: The creator is Morgan B. Cohen.
26:23.007 --> 26:25.988
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna put it up to the microphone and I hope that you guys can hear it.
26:26.608 --> 26:33.710
[SPEAKER_00]: The thing that people don't understand is just because I am nice to you, it's only because that's how human being should be.
26:34.953 --> 26:37.994
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean that I don't know what you've said behind my back.
26:38.555 --> 26:43.277
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean that I'm stupid and oblivious to the things that you say when I'm not around.
26:43.737 --> 26:44.517
[SPEAKER_00]: I know everything.
26:44.977 --> 26:47.518
[SPEAKER_00]: I find out everything even when I'm not looking for it.
26:47.919 --> 26:49.319
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's what you should know.
26:50.019 --> 26:53.661
[SPEAKER_00]: Your opinion means so little to me that I don't react.
26:55.015 --> 26:58.417
[SPEAKER_00]: you don't even deserve a reaction.
26:59.017 --> 27:00.618
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I don't say anything.
27:00.658 --> 27:05.641
[SPEAKER_00]: And I will always be kind to you because you are making me feel like I'm cocoa.
27:06.481 --> 27:11.784
[SPEAKER_00]: My soul will never be forgotten because you use my name and your conversations with random people.
27:13.405 --> 27:15.046
[SPEAKER_00]: to keep the conversation interesting.
27:15.927 --> 27:21.471
[SPEAKER_00]: And that just means that you're keeping me relevant in life, even if it's negative.
27:22.051 --> 27:22.972
[SPEAKER_00]: That's how I think.
27:23.592 --> 27:25.594
[SPEAKER_00]: So you can wonder why she's so nice to me.
27:26.114 --> 27:28.456
[SPEAKER_00]: It's because I don't care.
27:29.337 --> 27:33.760
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think every person should still be nice, even when you don't really like someone.
27:35.481 --> 27:36.502
[SPEAKER_01]: How good is that?
27:37.391 --> 27:43.052
[SPEAKER_01]: I think we should end it on that note because that's exactly she just summed up essentially my thoughts.
27:43.712 --> 27:45.133
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care what you think about me.
27:45.873 --> 27:53.734
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to maintain my own energy and I'm still going to be a good human and a nice human and just go about my business the way that I want.
27:54.255 --> 28:03.597
[SPEAKER_01]: So you can do what you want to do, but you're only making yourself look crazy and you're only making yourself look insecure and you can play this competition by yourself
28:05.890 --> 28:08.271
[SPEAKER_01]: So here's your trophy, congrats, you win.
28:09.491 --> 28:10.232
[SPEAKER_01]: So that is that.
28:10.872 --> 28:20.995
[SPEAKER_01]: And if anybody else needs advice on a situation, please email me, Victoria.for the girls podcast at gmail.com with the subject line, Dear Victoria.
28:21.595 --> 28:28.698
[SPEAKER_01]: And I will be more than happy to give you some advice on your situations and scenarios in an upcoming episode of For The Girls.
28:29.418 --> 28:30.899
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is all that we have for today.
28:31.279 --> 28:34.760
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you girls so much for listening until next time girls.
