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Speaker 1: While we hope Couch Talks can be a tool that helps and supports wherever you are in life, Couch Talks does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy or any mental health services. If you ever have feelings that you just want some, Amy and Kat got you covered like an umbrella.
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Speaker 2: Ladies and fellas, we just follow in the spirit where it tell us.
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Speaker 3: From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in-between.
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Speaker 1: Sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop.
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Speaker 4: And feel things.
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Speaker 3: This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. Happy Thursday. Welcome to Couch Talks, the Q & A episode of our Feeling Things podcast.
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Speaker 4: I'm Amy.
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Speaker 5: And I'm Kat.
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Speaker 3: And we got a question that probably would come in handy for a lot of people. This isn't like a mental health-minded question at all, but someone emailed us, I ran into a friend on a walk and she started telling a story that she had already told me a couple of weeks ago. I remember the story being kind of long and I chose not to tell her and just let her finish. I just pretended I never heard it. would y'all say something? And I thought, oh, good question. Cause I don't know.
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Speaker 2: This has ever happened to you?
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Speaker 3: Well, of course it has.
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Speaker 2: It depends.
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Speaker 3: But it's not ever been like a long story. Sometimes I'll just listen to it again or some way I'll find a way to fit in like, oh, oh yeah, you told me about that. Yeah. But if I just ran into a friend that doesn't, I mean, I guess I'm assuming they're not that close cause she just ran into a story on a walk, but. She told her something a couple of weeks ago and I was like, okay, do you let the person retell the story or do you interrupt them?
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Speaker 5: It depends.
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Speaker 3: Okay.
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Speaker 5: Right?
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Speaker 3: We love a good– it depends.
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Speaker 5: It depends.
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Speaker 1: It has to– if somebody is like so excited about telling– I think there's a way to say like you said like, oh my gosh, yeah, like you told me that. But if somebody is like starting a 45-minute long story and you've already heard it and you also have somewhere to go, there is a finesse, a way to say like, oh my gosh, yeah, you– shared this with me last time that's so exciting or that's so crazy or da da da da or is there.
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Speaker 5: An update.
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Speaker 3: It depends it depends yeah okay that was just a quick little fun email we got from julie in kansas and i thought okay well we can address it and i can see what's appropriate you probably just to feel out feel out the situation.
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Speaker 1: I will say with like my dad tells the same stories over and over did you experience that with your parents.
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Speaker 3: Uh at times yeah um More so my dad than my mom.
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Speaker 1: Or like if it's like an– my dad's not elderly, so this isn't him. But like my grandma will tell the same story over and over and over about like her life.
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Speaker 5: Let them tell the story.
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Speaker 3: You don't mean like let them, let them.
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Speaker 4: I didn't mean that. You didn't mean let them.
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Speaker 3: I didn't mean that.
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Speaker 1: I take it back. Is there another way for me to say that? Allow them to tell the story.
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Speaker 3: Allow that person to tell the story.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: If you're not in on that little inside joke, you can listen to our Mel Robbins deep dive from last year.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: And you'll understand.
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Speaker 5: No, let them.
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Speaker 4: No, let them.
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Speaker 1: No, let them.
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Speaker 5: No, let them.
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Speaker 3: So we've talked about gossiping before and whether or not it's okay to gossip or not. And obviously it can be very harmful, but at times with friendships, haven't you said as a therapist, even it can be helpful? Yeah. And, To the relationship, but also define what you mean by that type of gossip.
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Speaker 5: Gossip is a way that information travels.
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Speaker 1: So like sometimes gossip is like nasty and mean and it's spreading rumors and lies about people. And sometimes people are gossiping because they don't know how to relate or they don't know how to connect with people and so they can only talk about other people. But also like gossip is how information gets passed around. Gossip is how conversation– like– and they say gossip. Women are the only ones that gossip, but men gossip too.
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Speaker 5: It just looks different.
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Speaker 1: But gossip kind of keeps our– if we didn't gossip, I think we would have been extinct a long time ago. Information had to travel.
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Speaker 3: It's necessary to our survival. The funny thing about husbands and when they find out information, you see like the memes that go up where it's like, oh, you know, so-and-so broke up. And then you're like, well, what happened? Well, I don't know.
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Speaker 5: I didn't know.
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Speaker 3: Well, when? I didn't know. It's like, here's a list of questions. When something happens, you have to ask all of these questions that when you come home and tell me, I know the details.
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Speaker 5: It blows my mind.
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Speaker 3: How many don't think of that?
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Speaker 1: Well, I'm like, well, first of all, what do you talk about? Patrick knows every stat in history. of playing experience of every football player in the NFL and all these college football players do, but he wouldn't think to like know how his best.
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Speaker 5: Friend got engaged. Or like, let's say somebody was pregnant.
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Speaker 1: Like, are you having a boy or a girl? Like he doesn't like, you know, dad.
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Speaker 3: Well, we did get a really, really long email from a mom sharing some personal stuff about her kids and, gossip and different things. So we're not going to get into the whole email because that part is just private. But there is a quick gossip check-in that I did with my son that I think could be helpful and it could be a good guide for adults too. So I'll put this in the show notes as well so you can have the check-in, but you can also write it down quickly if.
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Speaker 5: You have a pen.
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Speaker 3: I would imagine most people are listening to our podcast while they're out doing other things. But you can pause and ask these questions. Is what I'm about to say true, kind, and necessary? Why am I sharing this? Am I trying to feel connected? Am I trying to fit in? Or am I trying to get a reaction? How would I feel if it were about me? Would I want someone else to say this? Is this getting someone help? If someone is unsafe, tell a trusted adult instead of gossiping. Like obviously there's a difference there. And then am I sharing to entertain? Or to judge. If to make someone look bad or get attention, it's gossip. So that's like a kid check-in. And I mean, sometimes it is good entertainment. For adults.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: Which I'm not saying is right.
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Speaker 2: We might be bored.
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Speaker 1: I think there's also a difference between gossiping with your friends and talking and like talking about like the updates of people. And like I had some college friends come in town a couple months ago. And we were just asking questions about like everybody that we were in college with that like each person like still like knew or kept in touch with. And sure, that would be gossip, but it's also like getting updates on people's lives.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I mean by entertainment. Like I was just with some old college friends too and I got an update on this one girl that's still posting videos like dancing on tables at the bar and we're in our 40s. Like, you know, like that's information. From the internet. She's putting on social media. So it's sort of entertaining because you're.
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Speaker 5: Like, what?
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Speaker 3: Because she was not like that. So I don't know if I use the word still or not because I shouldn't because she wasn't like that. And then now in her 40s, she's demonstrating this very different behavior. So I found that entertaining, but I don't know that I filed it under gossip because she's posting it herself and we weren't saying anything bad about her.
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Speaker 5: I think that is gossip. I think.
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Speaker 1: My stance is not all gossip is bad.
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Speaker 3: Okay.
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Speaker 5: Have you watched that Carrie show on Netflix?
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Speaker 1: Not yet.
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Speaker 6: Okay.
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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I've been watching a lot of TV. I recommend it. We're not done with it, but it's good. But there's a lot. It reminds me of like the burn book from Mean Girls. You know, like that is negative gossip that is meant to hurt people.
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Speaker 5: And there's no way around. Like there's no way to. the burn book to be like a positive entity.
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Speaker 3: Right. Right. Well, speaking of the, or gossip or tea, or didn't you put up a DM and you got questions, something about my dating life? Yeah.
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Speaker 5: They, I asked, I had asked what people wanted us to talk about.
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Speaker 1: Now that I'm back, a lot of people ask questions about my birth and having a baby. And then somebody said, and we'd like an update on Amy's dating life.
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Speaker 3: Okay.
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Speaker 5: Do you want to give one? I mean, I'm dating.
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Speaker 3: I've talked about it a little bit on the Bobby bone show and there is someone that, yeah, That's all you want to say? That's all I want to say for right now. And then who knows? You know what that is? That's what?
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Speaker 1: What people are going to say is that you just gave them a big old nothing burger.
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Speaker 3: It is a nothing burger. But I'm saying that I am dating. And like last week on the show, you know, Bobby had heard like there was gossip at the farmer's market because I had been at the farmer's market with this person. And we ran into someone that then Bobby and Caitlin ran into at the farmer's market after we left.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: So the gossip at the farmer's market was like, oh, I just ran into Amy and she was here with her boyfriend. And Caitlin goes, boyfriend? And she goes, yeah. The girl she ran into was Mackenzie. Mackenzie's like, I'm pretty sure she said, oh, and this is my boyfriend.
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Speaker 5: Did you say that?
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Speaker 3: I did not.
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Speaker 4: I did not.
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Speaker 3: But see how it's like the game of telephone where like one thing happens.
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Speaker 5: What did you say?
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Speaker 3: So then Caitlin texts me and she was like, I just heard you were at the farmer's market with your boyfriend. And she was like 20 question marks. And I was like, no, I'm not at the farmer's market with my boyfriend. I said, this is so-and-so. And they can't like her husband was there. I just said, this is like she heard what she wanted to hear. Well, but we were together. So she just was like, and then Caitlin said, are you sure? And then McKenzie even said, Well, yeah, maybe she didn't say that. I just assumed.
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Speaker 1: But like who else would you be– like why would you be at the farmer's market with a guy if he wasn't your boyfriend?
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Speaker 3: He needed eggs and sourdough. But guess what? He also makes his own sourdough. Wow.
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Speaker 5: He can bake.
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Speaker 3: And he has a garden.
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Speaker 1: And his own like backyard garden like with vegetables that he eats?
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Speaker 3: Yeah. Wow.
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Speaker 5: What about like flowers or just vegetables?
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Speaker 3: Just vegetables.
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Speaker 5: Okay. Would you still be attracted to him if he had a flower garden?
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Speaker 3: That would be fine. Okay. And then– like he bakes and has a garden. I'm like, wait, I need you on my apocalypse team. Cause I, I need to be able to offer something for the world.
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Speaker 1: So you would offer this guy.
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Speaker 3: I was going to learn how to do all that. But like, if you know, but that's, that was funny. There was like gossip at the farmer's market, but then it was, it was wrong information. But then they, they reached out to me and then I said, no. And then the next day at work, On the show, Bobby's like, so I was looking for you at the farmer's market because I heard you were there. So then we came out to find you. And I was like, oh, we had already left because then we were going to do something else.
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Speaker 5: Go make the eggs.
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Speaker 3: Go make the eggs.
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Speaker 5: Yeah.
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Speaker 6: Okay.
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Speaker 5: So your update is that you're dating.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: And that there is someone in particular I've been dating, yeah.
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Speaker 6: Okay.
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Speaker 1: But you're not labeling anything and you're not naming names and you're not. saying how you met or any you don't have to I'm just like making sure yeah I don't want to pressure you yeah we met at.
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Speaker 4: The gym I don't want to.
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Speaker 3: Pressure you yeah we met at the gym and when Bobby first met him oh Bobby met him well because first met him so more than once no when he met him okay He was, it was a different night of that same farmer's market, but the car, he was in Caitlin's car and her car broke down. And then they had the baby though. So Caitlin got another ride home because they needed to get home.
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Speaker 5: It was getting dark.
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Speaker 3: And then Bobby needed, his phone was going to die, but he was waiting for a tow truck that my tire guy had helped him get. And we were driving by anyway, because we were going to Bar Taco and that farmer's market is right there. And He was like, but my phone's about to die. And then he was going to need to Uber home. And I'm like, well, you need charge in your phone. So we'll just stop by and charge. And we pull up. And remember how I dated? And I wasn't really dating. Remember how I hung out with that one guy that didn't have a job or a car?
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Speaker 5: You wouldn't call that dating?
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Speaker 3: Whatever it was. Yes. And he would drive my car.
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Speaker 5: Do I remember?
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Speaker 1: How could we forget?
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Speaker 3: Yeah. Y'all, you did not like him. And he did not like you.
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Speaker 6: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: But that's because I think he knew.
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Speaker 5: You were onto him.
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Speaker 6: Yeah.
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Speaker 5: He was a freaking fraud.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. But I didn't know that. But also I'm thankful for every life experience that got me to where I am today. Yeah. Okay.
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Speaker 5: You needed that. I needed that.
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Speaker 3: So see, this is gossip kind of. See, this is entertainment, healthy gossip. Like we're not saying, we're not trashing him. Nobody knows who he is. But So this guy has a job and a car, okay? I'm just putting that out there.
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Speaker 1: Those are now your prerequisites. My non-negotiables are job and car. Why do you have to have that?
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Speaker 3: So he came to pick me up. I needed air in my tires. So he drove to my house. He's like, but hey, let's take your car because there's that market on the way that you can put air in your tires at a gas station. So he's like, I'm going to put air in your tires because I don't like that they're low. And they were only low because the weather changed. And so I'm like, okay, cool. So he gets in my car. He's driving my car, which is giving the other guy. And he puts air in my tires, and then we're driving to Bar Taco. Well, en route, that's when I am checking in with Bobby and Caitlin, and he needs a phone charger. And I'm like, cool, we're literally driving right by you, so we'll pull up and you can charge.
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Speaker 5: You don't have a phone charger in your car.
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Speaker 3: I have a phone charger in my car. I needed to go let, give it to Bobby.
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Speaker 5: Bobby needed the phone charger.
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Speaker 4: Remember?
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Speaker 3: Cause he's got to get an Uber.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: So right when we pull up, he's driving my car and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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Speaker 5: You don't understand.
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Speaker 3: He has a car. Did you say that? Yes. Like the first thing I said to Bobby, the first thing I'm like, you don't, I need you to know.
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Speaker 2: Hi, this is him.
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Speaker 1: Hi.
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Speaker 3: Hi. we're going to eat. He drove to my house, took my car so he could put air in my tires. And, uh, he has a car and a job. Like, in fact, he has his own business. So I really started like, I'm like, actually has his own business and he has two cars. Okay. So I'm really like making sure. And then Bobby was like, Oh, cause that's literally seeing you pull up in Amy's car. I think Bobby made a joke with him. He was like, yeah, that's definitely the first thing I was going to ask. Like, So 2.0. Uh, so then we let him, he couldn't charge it in his car cause that car's dead. So he sat in my car charging for a little bit and we got him up like six more percent. So that way he should be good to go. And then we left, but that was that experience.
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Speaker 4: How was the meeting?
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Speaker 3: Like it was good. And then I'm like, so we're sitting in the car and he's kind of The guy is standing outside and he's like, wait, where'd y'all meet? And I was like, oh, at the gym. He's like, okay, cool.
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Speaker 6: Cool.
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Speaker 3: So that's the gossip on that.
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Speaker 4: Okay.
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Speaker 5: Is it this crazy though?
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Speaker 1: Before I left to go have Zoe, remember we were talking on an episode about how like you need to get out there and like, are you going to join a gym or whatever? And then you joined a gym. And wasn't that the first time you went that you met him?
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Speaker 3: It was the first day.
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Speaker 6: Day one.
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Speaker 3: Day one.
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Speaker 5: Day one. Like that's a, that's crazy.
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Speaker 3: It is because I needed a plan to, to, to get out. And gym was one of the top things on the list. I think another one was for me to go to nice restaurant bars and sit there with a journal. But I, I've been saying I was going to do that for like two years and I never did it. Like going to a gym seems a lot easier. And my friend, Mary Elizabeth, she joined at the same time. So we went to get there.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 5: Um, Is that what made you join that gym?
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Speaker 1: Cause she was going to like, what was the actual, like, I'm actually going to do it.
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Speaker 5: It was her.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. It was the, okay, we're doing this. We're going to do it together and we're going to go. And so we went and I only went at that exact time cause I was meeting her. She's like, this is the time I can go. And I was like, perfect. And so it was very, I don't know the word.
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Speaker 5: Serendipitous.
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Speaker 3: Serendipitous. I don't know.
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Speaker 5: It's one of those things that people say.
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Speaker 3: One of those things. And so.
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Speaker 5: But you're having fun.
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Speaker 3: And I was dating. Like, I think before you had your baby, I had gone on some dates with this other person.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: I've been trying to date because I wasn't dating at all. And I was sort of stuck. You.
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Speaker 5: Well, I don't want to give timelines out. Never mind.
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Speaker 6: What?
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Speaker 1: Well, because I was going to say, like. I remember when I first had Zoe, I'd be like, we need some girl talk. And you would voice memo me the updates of all of like the things that you're doing.
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Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Because there was– Chase was making fun of me because he was like, I think Amy has like nine. And that's an exaggeration. It wasn't. And it was just– it was just a– I was like, okay, I'm going to put myself out there a little more and say yes to things that I had previously been closed off to. And yeah. And some– And then even Chase being around, and I think so many people thought that Chase and I were dating, but Chase is like a good friend that I go do things with, and he is in the know on all the other dating happenings that are going on.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, he wasn't one of your suitors.
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Speaker 6: No.
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Speaker 3: So that's the gossip check-in on that.
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Speaker 5: So we'll stay tuned when you're ready to share more. We'll let you.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. What other questions did we get? Speaking of Chase, we do have some episode feedback that we got about him, an email from Lindsay.
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Speaker 4: Okay.
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Speaker 3: And then I don't know if there's any other questions that came in over there, but she's 44 from Washington. She said, hi, I just listened to the October 20th podcast episode with Chase and Amy. Now I love Kat and Amy, their insights flow and interactions, but I'm so happy Kat is taking more time with baby Zoe as she should, in my opinion, enjoy this time. But today's episode was one of my most favorite episodes in some time. The calm demeanor of Chase, the way the Lord was wound in and just a real, relaxed episode. It was stellar. Thank you for having no agenda and bringing a light and new perspective with every episode. Love listening. Cheers. So that, yeah, that was literally Chase and I sitting down with no plan.
00:18:50
Speaker 1: What did you guys end up talking about? Like how, well, I guess you're such good friends. It's like you could just talk about anything. And I feel like if you're not constantly putting out content with somebody, there's so much that you could.
00:19:02
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:19:03
Speaker 3: I think we had gone to the movies and I don't know if you know this, but we, um, that, So I saw the Elizabeth Holmes documentary, which is epic.
00:19:11
Speaker 5: I haven't seen it.
00:19:11
Speaker 3: You can see anything or everything. I can't remember the title.
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Speaker 5: You loved it? Yes, it's so good.
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Speaker 3: I've never– and today I was wearing a turtleneck at work, like a black turtleneck, and Bobby's like, oh, is that your Elizabeth Holmes outfit? And I was like, oh my gosh, I do look like her. Yeah, she's crazy. And that documentary was unlike any documentary I've ever seen in my entire life. It was so crazy. I highly recommend it. But the movie I saw with Chase was the social network update movie.
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Speaker 5: Okay, so was that good? I heard mixed reviews.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought it was pretty good. There were some parts that were slow, but overall, I i did like it i did like it the social reckoning reckoning yeah there you go look at you being in the know yeah uh and we sat by nicole kidman.
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Speaker 1: Shut up yeah was it like the opening like a special showing or she was just there like a normal no we.
00:20:02
Speaker 3: Just went on a saturday at like one o'clock that's cool did you say hey girl No, it was pitch black when she came in and we were sitting, but we were sitting in her seats because someone was sitting in our seats. So then she's looking at her phone and she says something to Chase. Like, I think I'm sitting there. And Chase is like, oh, sorry, we can move. But there was open seats around. But instead of going to more of the open seats, she plopped right down next to Chase. And of course, we left there. She was with someone. I mean, I'm not going to say. She was a family member. And Chase left the theater in love. He was smelling her the whole time.
00:20:36
Speaker 6: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: And we left and he was like– we went and ate pizza afterwards and all he talked about for like 20 minutes was like sitting next to Nicole Kidman and how she had her own blanket and she brought her own snacks and how normal she was.
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Speaker 5: He's like, maybe stars are just like us.
00:20:50
Speaker 6: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: So I don't know if that's what we talked about on the October 20th episode. I think so, probably.
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Speaker 1: I want to say this, which when I read that email, I was like, oh, dang. She likes Chase more than me and Amy together. But, but this is the beauty of it.
00:21:07
Speaker 3: No, she didn't mean that.
00:21:08
Speaker 5: That was like a fleeting thought.
00:21:10
Speaker 1: She likes our energy, but Chase does have a very different kind of energy where he's.
00:21:15
Speaker 5: Like so level.
00:21:18
Speaker 1: And I feel like that might level you out versus like, I'm not level. We're both kind of similar energy. So we are like, does that make sense what I'm saying? Like it, I'm glad they got to have a different experience with something like that and how like his energy can like change the energy of like the people he's with. That's a gift in a good way. I have a– because we're talking about movies. Can I give a movie review?
00:21:45
Speaker 3: You don't have to ask me. You know you don't.
00:21:48
Speaker 5: I know.
00:21:49
Speaker 3: You know I don't like when you do that.
00:21:51
Speaker 1: I know.
00:21:51
Speaker 3: I know.
00:21:53
Speaker 5: Well, it's more like I don't– there's no way this is a spoiler.
00:21:56
Speaker 6: Okay.
00:21:57
Speaker 1: We talked about how it was sad that I wasn't going to be able to go to the movies and see Verity.
00:22:00
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
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Speaker 4: Wait.
00:22:02
Speaker 3: Can we watch it at home now?
00:22:04
Speaker 5: Well, you can for $ 19.
00:22:05
Speaker 3: 99.
00:22:05
Speaker 5: Okay.
00:22:06
Speaker 1: And that's what you did. We rented it for $ 19.
00:22:10
Speaker 5: 99, which is cheaper than going to the movies.
00:22:13
Speaker 2: We watched it yesterday. We watched it yesterday.
00:22:28
Speaker 1: One of the worst movies I've seen in a really long time.
00:22:31
Speaker 4: No way. We love the book.
00:22:33
Speaker 2: The book was so good.
00:22:34
Speaker 5: I think what the problem, the writing was really bad.
00:22:39
Speaker 1: The book was so crazy and there's a lot of character development and like there's so much to that story that that movie needed to be three hours or it needed to be a like limited series for it to really do the book justice. If I didn't read the book, I would have been like, what in the world is happening? Like things just moved so fast. And I like Dakota Johnson, but in this movie, I think it was because of the writing. She seemed like a not great actress, if that makes sense.
00:23:11
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:23:11
Speaker 1: Like if you're given lines that suck, like there's not much you can do with them, you know? But it was almost like kind of funny. Like the preview makes it look really scary and really intense.
00:23:24
Speaker 3: Because it's a psychological thriller.
00:23:25
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:23:25
Speaker 1: We like laughed at it. So I don't know if everybody else is with me, but now that I've seen it, I no longer have the sad feelings I had about not being.
00:23:38
Speaker 5: Able to go to the theaters and see it.
00:23:40
Speaker 3: Nice. Thanks for that review.
00:23:42
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:23:43
Speaker 3: We got another email from Heather. Hey, Amy and Kat, I just listened to this week's podcast and y'all brought up the newsletter. I've been getting them, but realized it's been a while since I've seen one. So I just looked at my email and the last one I received was in August. If y'all have sent out something for September and October, I'm one of the unlucky ones and I've not received them. Hopefully it'll all get figured out soon. Thanks for all you do. Have the name you need to have, your friend Heather. Well, Kat had a baby and she's our newsletter girl. Um, so we're going to get back on it. In fact, something should have gone out or will go out this week. It's not like an official newsletter, but it'll be information about Stevenson's run for Haiti that he's doing this Saturday. So if you're listening to this on Thursday, when it comes out in two days, Stevenson is going to be doing his second annual run for Haiti. Last year, he ran 13.1 miles, which is the furthest he'd ever run. He didn't really train for it. He just set out to run as many miles as he could and people pledged per mile. like $ 1 a mile, $ 5, $ 10, $ 20. Some people gave just a flat donation of, I'll do $ 100, whatever you can do. It doesn't have to be anything crazy. And he raised over $ 30, 000. Insane. And he was so excited that he was like, next year I'm doing a full marathon. Well, now that we're to the full marathon, sorry, now that we're to the year that this is happening, he's smack dabbed. at the crucial time of his cross country career, like he's been running varsity as a freshman. And literally today, as people are listening to this, he's running state in Memphis. So come Saturday, I don't know what his body's going to feel like, uh, to, and how far he's going to be able to go. He said, even the 13.1 last year was really difficult. And he goes, but mom, I said, well, man, you made it look easy. He goes, yeah, mom, because people were counting on me. And he was like, and I had the support and I had the motivation. But it honestly was really hard. And he's like, and then we made all that money. So then I was motivated to do a marathon. But like now, I don't know if I can do that. I said, well, look, no pressure. I said, you should just set out to run again, do it again like you did last year, as many miles as you possibly can. And then you'll be good to go. People are going to show up and want to support you. And all of the money is going to the orphanage in Haiti where my son and my daughter both lived. My son was there till he was seven and my daughter was there till she was 11. And- Team Haiti is our nonprofit that we use to support the orphanage. So the donations will go to Team Haiti's PayPal or Venmo. It's a 501c3. All donations are tax deductible. It's very legit. We'll show you the numbers of like, this is the amount that's going. And then we give updates on how the orphanage uses it. But that 30,000 he raised last year pretty much funded everything for the school there and all their needs for 2026. And he'll be able, I'm like, dude, you're going to run again this weekend and And could fund 2027. Yeah, that's crazy. Which is so crazy that now as a teenager, he's able to give back to the very orphanage that was raising him in those early years of his life. So that will be a newsletter of sorts this week.
00:26:57
Speaker 4: And then.
00:26:59
Speaker 3: I don't know. Pretty much every two weeks moving forward, we'll have something, right? Are we getting back?
00:27:03
Speaker 1: I'd like to get back, but we're going to ease into it and give me some grace because if you get like a newsletter one week and then you don't get another one for a month, it might just be because we're figuring things out.
00:27:15
Speaker 3: We're figuring things out.
00:27:17
Speaker 5: And we let ourselves do that.
00:27:18
Speaker 3: You know what, Heather? But thank you for noticing. Thank you for caring.
00:27:21
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:27:21
Speaker 3: Yeah. We got a voicemail from... Emily, she's from Austin in her 40s, and this is on the topic of over-apologizing. So we'll just play the voicemail. I will say it's a little long, and she addresses that at the end, but we don't care. We can be long-winded at times too. So we're just going to play that for you real quick because we like what you had to share. Hi, Amy and Kat.
00:27:49
Speaker 6: This is Emily calling from Austin. First of all, Amy, I've listened to you for years. I grew up outside of Austin, and I'm a fellow Aggie. Gig'em. I'm in my early 30s, and aging has always intimidated me, but you make your 40s look cool and fun, so thank you for that. I look up to you in a lot of ways.
00:28:08
Speaker 3: And Kat, you are such a joy.
00:28:10
Speaker 6: I find your voice very calming, and I also just love how you articulate your thoughts, and I'm just so happy for you. Yeah, I just really appreciate the perspective that you guys both bring to the podcast, so thank you. I wanted to share a thought on your apologizing episode because it's actually something I've been thinking a lot about and I've experienced it in my career. I'm in corporate tech sales, so I'm just really glad you guys brought this up. I've had several female mentors advise me to avoid apologizing in the workplace. And while I understand the intention, I've kind of noticed the pendulum sometimes swings a little too far. And, you know, I'll preface with, This is situational. It's circumstantial. So it's, of course, always important to think before you speak. And different situations require different.
00:28:58
Speaker 5: Responses, of course.
00:29:00
Speaker 6: Like, for instance, Kat used an example in relationships. Instead of saying, I'm so sorry for venting forever, say, thank you for hearing me out. And I think that translates to the workplace really well. Like, if I'm giving leadership constructive feedback, I can say, thank you for listening instead of apologizing for, you know, doing my job and ultimately trying to improve the company. But the being late example is kind of where I've gotten my feathers ruffled a bit. Like if I'm late to a meeting or if I've kept someone waiting days for an email response, I believe a genuine apology is appropriate. And really like to me, I just think that's basic etiquette and consideration for others. It's rubbed me the wrong way when I've gotten a thank you for your patience instead of like, oh, I'm so sorry for the delay.
00:29:51
Speaker 3: And I was actually.
00:29:52
Speaker 6: Going to write this post on LinkedIn kind of about this hill that I'll die on. And I created an equation for it. The ultimate equation for strong leadership in my book is authority plus humility equals strength. Because from what I've seen, the leaders that I respect most, they're confident and they're authoritative, but they're also humble enough to receive feedback, admit mistakes, and of course, apologize when it's appropriate. And to me, that doesn't diminish their authority. It actually makes me respect them more. And that's kind of the leader that I aspire to be. So if apologizing makes me look weak in some people's eyes, I would gladly sacrifice climbing the ladder if it meant I keep my humility and compassion. But I also believe there's room for both. I think you can climb the ladder and be those things. So to put a bow on this... I don't think we as women should feel the need to apologize unnecessarily, of course, but I also don't want us to view it as a weakness. So just some food for thought. I think, you know, reframing an apology as a thank you is not always the answer. And sometimes the simple, I'm sorry, carries more meaning. So thanks for listening. I'm not apologizing for the length of this voicemail because you asked for it. And I hope y'all have the day you need to have.
00:31:16
Speaker 3: All right. I love that Emily's a fellow Aggie. Giggle.
00:31:19
Speaker 6: Whoop.
00:31:21
Speaker 3: And Emily, you're so right. It's just the thing Aggie say.
00:31:25
Speaker 5: What do you, what is gig?
00:31:26
Speaker 3: Listen, I was a two percenter, which means I gave about two percent.
00:31:29
Speaker 6: Okay.
00:31:30
Speaker 5: So you don't like an action.
00:31:32
Speaker 3: Gig them. Thumbs up. Gig them.
00:31:35
Speaker 6: Boop.
00:31:35
Speaker 3: I don't know.
00:31:36
Speaker 1: I thought it meant it was like a, another way to say like rope, rope.
00:31:41
Speaker 5: Rope them. Yeah.
00:31:42
Speaker 3: No, like we don't say that though.
00:31:44
Speaker 5: We don't say rope them. I know, but I didn't know if gig meant like.
00:31:46
Speaker 4: Gig them.
00:31:47
Speaker 3: It's just what you like. Gig them.
00:31:48
Speaker 2: Like.
00:31:49
Speaker 3: What do you say? Do you have something you.
00:31:51
Speaker 5: Say from college?
00:31:52
Speaker 3: I don't know.
00:31:53
Speaker 2: To the top.
00:31:54
Speaker 5: USM to the top is what they said.
00:31:55
Speaker 3: There. So it's like that.
00:31:56
Speaker 5: And Vanderbilt anchor down.
00:31:58
Speaker 3: Anchor down. Gig'em.
00:31:59
Speaker 6: Okay.
00:32:00
Speaker 2: But I just– okay.
00:32:00
Speaker 5: I was just asking.
00:32:01
Speaker 1: I didn't know if gig'em was an action that I was not aware of. And you're saying no.
00:32:04
Speaker 5: It's just like a thing.
00:32:06
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:32:06
Speaker 4: I don't know.
00:32:07
Speaker 3: Well, Emily, you're so right. I guess the point was never say sorry. Just don't say it for everything.
00:32:13
Speaker 1: Everything. Yes.
00:32:14
Speaker 4: Right. Right.
00:32:15
Speaker 3: Like if you're late or you left someone hanging, a real apology is like– Just good manners.
00:32:21
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:32:21
Speaker 3: And I loved her like authority plus humility equals strength.
00:32:25
Speaker 1: Well, and I think in the workplace, like sometimes it's appropriate. I think as women, we have to be careful of, are we apologizing for everything, especially in the workplace? But also sometimes if I did forget to send an email and it's been a month, it is appropriate for me to say, I'm sorry for the delay versus thank you for the patient. So I liked her nuance to our little segment we did. And I needed that segment for myself this past six weeks because I talked about on Tuesday how every time I ask somebody to do something, specifically Patrick, I'm apologizing for it.
00:33:01
Speaker 5: And it's something we have to untrain ourselves to do. That I didn't think that I did so much. So thanks for the voicemail.
00:33:12
Speaker 4: Thank you for that.
00:33:13
Speaker 5: And thanks for calling. Oh, I have a call out.
00:33:15
Speaker 6: What? Patrick.
00:33:17
Speaker 1: And this actually has to do with a question that we got on Instagram. Somebody asked about holiday traditions. And Patrick asked me on our walk last week, one of our walks. That's like all we do now is go on walks. But he was like, we're going to have our first Thanksgiving and Christmas with Zoe. Like, what holiday traditions do we want to start?
00:33:39
Speaker 6: Oh.
00:33:39
Speaker 5: And I was like, we can have cinnamon rolls.
00:33:43
Speaker 3: With sausage gravy. Like me.
00:33:45
Speaker 5: I was like, I need some ideas.
00:33:48
Speaker 1: So I want people to send us, whether it's voicemail or email, what your holiday traditions are, your favorite ones for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And heck, even New Year's if you have those. Because I want to start some. I already bought us matching Christmas pajamas.
00:34:03
Speaker 5: So that will be one.
00:34:05
Speaker 1: But you know how hard it is to buy clothes for an infant that you don't know what size they're going to be in two months?
00:34:11
Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
00:34:12
Speaker 5: So we might be buying multiple.
00:34:14
Speaker 3: Well, people can send suggestions. So email us, hey, they're at feelingthingspodcast.com or call us 877-207-2077. Remember, gossip with care. Is that one of our new taglines? Gossip with care. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gossip with care.
00:34:27
Speaker 4: And have the day.
00:34:28
Speaker 5: You need to have.
00:34:29
Speaker 4: Bye.
00:34:29
Speaker 1: Bye.
Speaker 1: While we hope Couch Talks can be a tool that helps and supports wherever you are in life, Couch Talks does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy or any mental health services. If you ever have feelings that you just want some, Amy and Kat got you covered like an umbrella.
00:00:20
Speaker 2: Ladies and fellas, we just follow in the spirit where it tell us.
00:00:24
Speaker 3: From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in-between.
00:00:29
Speaker 1: Sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop.
00:00:33
Speaker 4: And feel things.
00:00:35
Speaker 3: This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. Happy Thursday. Welcome to Couch Talks, the Q & A episode of our Feeling Things podcast.
00:00:42
Speaker 4: I'm Amy.
00:00:43
Speaker 5: And I'm Kat.
00:00:44
Speaker 3: And we got a question that probably would come in handy for a lot of people. This isn't like a mental health-minded question at all, but someone emailed us, I ran into a friend on a walk and she started telling a story that she had already told me a couple of weeks ago. I remember the story being kind of long and I chose not to tell her and just let her finish. I just pretended I never heard it. would y'all say something? And I thought, oh, good question. Cause I don't know.
00:01:09
Speaker 2: This has ever happened to you?
00:01:12
Speaker 3: Well, of course it has.
00:01:13
Speaker 2: It depends.
00:01:14
Speaker 3: But it's not ever been like a long story. Sometimes I'll just listen to it again or some way I'll find a way to fit in like, oh, oh yeah, you told me about that. Yeah. But if I just ran into a friend that doesn't, I mean, I guess I'm assuming they're not that close cause she just ran into a story on a walk, but. She told her something a couple of weeks ago and I was like, okay, do you let the person retell the story or do you interrupt them?
00:01:37
Speaker 5: It depends.
00:01:38
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:01:39
Speaker 5: Right?
00:01:39
Speaker 3: We love a good– it depends.
00:01:40
Speaker 5: It depends.
00:01:41
Speaker 1: It has to– if somebody is like so excited about telling– I think there's a way to say like you said like, oh my gosh, yeah, like you told me that. But if somebody is like starting a 45-minute long story and you've already heard it and you also have somewhere to go, there is a finesse, a way to say like, oh my gosh, yeah, you– shared this with me last time that's so exciting or that's so crazy or da da da da or is there.
00:02:05
Speaker 5: An update.
00:02:07
Speaker 3: It depends it depends yeah okay that was just a quick little fun email we got from julie in kansas and i thought okay well we can address it and i can see what's appropriate you probably just to feel out feel out the situation.
00:02:19
Speaker 1: I will say with like my dad tells the same stories over and over did you experience that with your parents.
00:02:25
Speaker 3: Uh at times yeah um More so my dad than my mom.
00:02:30
Speaker 1: Or like if it's like an– my dad's not elderly, so this isn't him. But like my grandma will tell the same story over and over and over about like her life.
00:02:38
Speaker 5: Let them tell the story.
00:02:41
Speaker 3: You don't mean like let them, let them.
00:02:43
Speaker 4: I didn't mean that. You didn't mean let them.
00:02:44
Speaker 3: I didn't mean that.
00:02:45
Speaker 1: I take it back. Is there another way for me to say that? Allow them to tell the story.
00:02:52
Speaker 3: Allow that person to tell the story.
00:02:54
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:02:56
Speaker 3: If you're not in on that little inside joke, you can listen to our Mel Robbins deep dive from last year.
00:03:01
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:03:01
Speaker 3: And you'll understand.
00:03:02
Speaker 5: No, let them.
00:03:04
Speaker 4: No, let them.
00:03:04
Speaker 1: No, let them.
00:03:05
Speaker 5: No, let them.
00:03:06
Speaker 3: So we've talked about gossiping before and whether or not it's okay to gossip or not. And obviously it can be very harmful, but at times with friendships, haven't you said as a therapist, even it can be helpful? Yeah. And, To the relationship, but also define what you mean by that type of gossip.
00:03:28
Speaker 5: Gossip is a way that information travels.
00:03:30
Speaker 1: So like sometimes gossip is like nasty and mean and it's spreading rumors and lies about people. And sometimes people are gossiping because they don't know how to relate or they don't know how to connect with people and so they can only talk about other people. But also like gossip is how information gets passed around. Gossip is how conversation– like– and they say gossip. Women are the only ones that gossip, but men gossip too.
00:03:54
Speaker 5: It just looks different.
00:03:57
Speaker 1: But gossip kind of keeps our– if we didn't gossip, I think we would have been extinct a long time ago. Information had to travel.
00:04:08
Speaker 3: It's necessary to our survival. The funny thing about husbands and when they find out information, you see like the memes that go up where it's like, oh, you know, so-and-so broke up. And then you're like, well, what happened? Well, I don't know.
00:04:19
Speaker 5: I didn't know.
00:04:20
Speaker 3: Well, when? I didn't know. It's like, here's a list of questions. When something happens, you have to ask all of these questions that when you come home and tell me, I know the details.
00:04:29
Speaker 5: It blows my mind.
00:04:31
Speaker 3: How many don't think of that?
00:04:32
Speaker 1: Well, I'm like, well, first of all, what do you talk about? Patrick knows every stat in history. of playing experience of every football player in the NFL and all these college football players do, but he wouldn't think to like know how his best.
00:04:50
Speaker 5: Friend got engaged. Or like, let's say somebody was pregnant.
00:04:55
Speaker 1: Like, are you having a boy or a girl? Like he doesn't like, you know, dad.
00:05:01
Speaker 3: Well, we did get a really, really long email from a mom sharing some personal stuff about her kids and, gossip and different things. So we're not going to get into the whole email because that part is just private. But there is a quick gossip check-in that I did with my son that I think could be helpful and it could be a good guide for adults too. So I'll put this in the show notes as well so you can have the check-in, but you can also write it down quickly if.
00:05:34
Speaker 5: You have a pen.
00:05:35
Speaker 3: I would imagine most people are listening to our podcast while they're out doing other things. But you can pause and ask these questions. Is what I'm about to say true, kind, and necessary? Why am I sharing this? Am I trying to feel connected? Am I trying to fit in? Or am I trying to get a reaction? How would I feel if it were about me? Would I want someone else to say this? Is this getting someone help? If someone is unsafe, tell a trusted adult instead of gossiping. Like obviously there's a difference there. And then am I sharing to entertain? Or to judge. If to make someone look bad or get attention, it's gossip. So that's like a kid check-in. And I mean, sometimes it is good entertainment. For adults.
00:06:24
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:06:25
Speaker 3: Which I'm not saying is right.
00:06:27
Speaker 2: We might be bored.
00:06:28
Speaker 1: I think there's also a difference between gossiping with your friends and talking and like talking about like the updates of people. And like I had some college friends come in town a couple months ago. And we were just asking questions about like everybody that we were in college with that like each person like still like knew or kept in touch with. And sure, that would be gossip, but it's also like getting updates on people's lives.
00:06:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I mean by entertainment. Like I was just with some old college friends too and I got an update on this one girl that's still posting videos like dancing on tables at the bar and we're in our 40s. Like, you know, like that's information. From the internet. She's putting on social media. So it's sort of entertaining because you're.
00:07:08
Speaker 5: Like, what?
00:07:10
Speaker 3: Because she was not like that. So I don't know if I use the word still or not because I shouldn't because she wasn't like that. And then now in her 40s, she's demonstrating this very different behavior. So I found that entertaining, but I don't know that I filed it under gossip because she's posting it herself and we weren't saying anything bad about her.
00:07:31
Speaker 5: I think that is gossip. I think.
00:07:34
Speaker 1: My stance is not all gossip is bad.
00:07:36
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:07:37
Speaker 5: Have you watched that Carrie show on Netflix?
00:07:42
Speaker 1: Not yet.
00:07:42
Speaker 6: Okay.
00:07:43
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I've been watching a lot of TV. I recommend it. We're not done with it, but it's good. But there's a lot. It reminds me of like the burn book from Mean Girls. You know, like that is negative gossip that is meant to hurt people.
00:07:59
Speaker 5: And there's no way around. Like there's no way to. the burn book to be like a positive entity.
00:08:06
Speaker 3: Right. Right. Well, speaking of the, or gossip or tea, or didn't you put up a DM and you got questions, something about my dating life? Yeah.
00:08:16
Speaker 5: They, I asked, I had asked what people wanted us to talk about.
00:08:19
Speaker 1: Now that I'm back, a lot of people ask questions about my birth and having a baby. And then somebody said, and we'd like an update on Amy's dating life.
00:08:27
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:08:28
Speaker 5: Do you want to give one? I mean, I'm dating.
00:08:30
Speaker 3: I've talked about it a little bit on the Bobby bone show and there is someone that, yeah, That's all you want to say? That's all I want to say for right now. And then who knows? You know what that is? That's what?
00:08:43
Speaker 1: What people are going to say is that you just gave them a big old nothing burger.
00:08:47
Speaker 3: It is a nothing burger. But I'm saying that I am dating. And like last week on the show, you know, Bobby had heard like there was gossip at the farmer's market because I had been at the farmer's market with this person. And we ran into someone that then Bobby and Caitlin ran into at the farmer's market after we left.
00:09:08
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:09:09
Speaker 3: So the gossip at the farmer's market was like, oh, I just ran into Amy and she was here with her boyfriend. And Caitlin goes, boyfriend? And she goes, yeah. The girl she ran into was Mackenzie. Mackenzie's like, I'm pretty sure she said, oh, and this is my boyfriend.
00:09:21
Speaker 5: Did you say that?
00:09:21
Speaker 3: I did not.
00:09:23
Speaker 4: I did not.
00:09:23
Speaker 3: But see how it's like the game of telephone where like one thing happens.
00:09:28
Speaker 5: What did you say?
00:09:28
Speaker 3: So then Caitlin texts me and she was like, I just heard you were at the farmer's market with your boyfriend. And she was like 20 question marks. And I was like, no, I'm not at the farmer's market with my boyfriend. I said, this is so-and-so. And they can't like her husband was there. I just said, this is like she heard what she wanted to hear. Well, but we were together. So she just was like, and then Caitlin said, are you sure? And then McKenzie even said, Well, yeah, maybe she didn't say that. I just assumed.
00:09:52
Speaker 1: But like who else would you be– like why would you be at the farmer's market with a guy if he wasn't your boyfriend?
00:09:56
Speaker 3: He needed eggs and sourdough. But guess what? He also makes his own sourdough. Wow.
00:10:04
Speaker 5: He can bake.
00:10:06
Speaker 3: And he has a garden.
00:10:06
Speaker 1: And his own like backyard garden like with vegetables that he eats?
00:10:11
Speaker 3: Yeah. Wow.
00:10:12
Speaker 5: What about like flowers or just vegetables?
00:10:14
Speaker 3: Just vegetables.
00:10:14
Speaker 5: Okay. Would you still be attracted to him if he had a flower garden?
00:10:18
Speaker 3: That would be fine. Okay. And then– like he bakes and has a garden. I'm like, wait, I need you on my apocalypse team. Cause I, I need to be able to offer something for the world.
00:10:32
Speaker 1: So you would offer this guy.
00:10:35
Speaker 3: I was going to learn how to do all that. But like, if you know, but that's, that was funny. There was like gossip at the farmer's market, but then it was, it was wrong information. But then they, they reached out to me and then I said, no. And then the next day at work, On the show, Bobby's like, so I was looking for you at the farmer's market because I heard you were there. So then we came out to find you. And I was like, oh, we had already left because then we were going to do something else.
00:10:59
Speaker 5: Go make the eggs.
00:11:00
Speaker 3: Go make the eggs.
00:11:03
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:11:04
Speaker 6: Okay.
00:11:04
Speaker 5: So your update is that you're dating.
00:11:07
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:11:08
Speaker 3: And that there is someone in particular I've been dating, yeah.
00:11:12
Speaker 6: Okay.
00:11:13
Speaker 1: But you're not labeling anything and you're not naming names and you're not. saying how you met or any you don't have to I'm just like making sure yeah I don't want to pressure you yeah we met at.
00:11:25
Speaker 4: The gym I don't want to.
00:11:38
Speaker 3: Pressure you yeah we met at the gym and when Bobby first met him oh Bobby met him well because first met him so more than once no when he met him okay He was, it was a different night of that same farmer's market, but the car, he was in Caitlin's car and her car broke down. And then they had the baby though. So Caitlin got another ride home because they needed to get home.
00:11:57
Speaker 5: It was getting dark.
00:11:59
Speaker 3: And then Bobby needed, his phone was going to die, but he was waiting for a tow truck that my tire guy had helped him get. And we were driving by anyway, because we were going to Bar Taco and that farmer's market is right there. And He was like, but my phone's about to die. And then he was going to need to Uber home. And I'm like, well, you need charge in your phone. So we'll just stop by and charge. And we pull up. And remember how I dated? And I wasn't really dating. Remember how I hung out with that one guy that didn't have a job or a car?
00:12:28
Speaker 5: You wouldn't call that dating?
00:12:30
Speaker 3: Whatever it was. Yes. And he would drive my car.
00:12:33
Speaker 5: Do I remember?
00:12:34
Speaker 1: How could we forget?
00:12:36
Speaker 3: Yeah. Y'all, you did not like him. And he did not like you.
00:12:39
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:12:40
Speaker 3: But that's because I think he knew.
00:12:41
Speaker 5: You were onto him.
00:12:43
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:12:43
Speaker 5: He was a freaking fraud.
00:12:45
Speaker 3: Yeah. But I didn't know that. But also I'm thankful for every life experience that got me to where I am today. Yeah. Okay.
00:12:52
Speaker 5: You needed that. I needed that.
00:12:54
Speaker 3: So see, this is gossip kind of. See, this is entertainment, healthy gossip. Like we're not saying, we're not trashing him. Nobody knows who he is. But So this guy has a job and a car, okay? I'm just putting that out there.
00:13:11
Speaker 1: Those are now your prerequisites. My non-negotiables are job and car. Why do you have to have that?
00:13:17
Speaker 3: So he came to pick me up. I needed air in my tires. So he drove to my house. He's like, but hey, let's take your car because there's that market on the way that you can put air in your tires at a gas station. So he's like, I'm going to put air in your tires because I don't like that they're low. And they were only low because the weather changed. And so I'm like, okay, cool. So he gets in my car. He's driving my car, which is giving the other guy. And he puts air in my tires, and then we're driving to Bar Taco. Well, en route, that's when I am checking in with Bobby and Caitlin, and he needs a phone charger. And I'm like, cool, we're literally driving right by you, so we'll pull up and you can charge.
00:14:03
Speaker 5: You don't have a phone charger in your car.
00:14:05
Speaker 3: I have a phone charger in my car. I needed to go let, give it to Bobby.
00:14:10
Speaker 5: Bobby needed the phone charger.
00:14:13
Speaker 4: Remember?
00:14:13
Speaker 3: Cause he's got to get an Uber.
00:14:14
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:14:14
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:14:15
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:14:16
Speaker 3: So right when we pull up, he's driving my car and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:14:22
Speaker 5: You don't understand.
00:14:23
Speaker 3: He has a car. Did you say that? Yes. Like the first thing I said to Bobby, the first thing I'm like, you don't, I need you to know.
00:14:33
Speaker 2: Hi, this is him.
00:14:33
Speaker 1: Hi.
00:14:34
Speaker 3: Hi. we're going to eat. He drove to my house, took my car so he could put air in my tires. And, uh, he has a car and a job. Like, in fact, he has his own business. So I really started like, I'm like, actually has his own business and he has two cars. Okay. So I'm really like making sure. And then Bobby was like, Oh, cause that's literally seeing you pull up in Amy's car. I think Bobby made a joke with him. He was like, yeah, that's definitely the first thing I was going to ask. Like, So 2.0. Uh, so then we let him, he couldn't charge it in his car cause that car's dead. So he sat in my car charging for a little bit and we got him up like six more percent. So that way he should be good to go. And then we left, but that was that experience.
00:15:25
Speaker 4: How was the meeting?
00:15:26
Speaker 3: Like it was good. And then I'm like, so we're sitting in the car and he's kind of The guy is standing outside and he's like, wait, where'd y'all meet? And I was like, oh, at the gym. He's like, okay, cool.
00:15:36
Speaker 6: Cool.
00:15:37
Speaker 3: So that's the gossip on that.
00:15:39
Speaker 4: Okay.
00:15:40
Speaker 5: Is it this crazy though?
00:15:41
Speaker 1: Before I left to go have Zoe, remember we were talking on an episode about how like you need to get out there and like, are you going to join a gym or whatever? And then you joined a gym. And wasn't that the first time you went that you met him?
00:15:55
Speaker 3: It was the first day.
00:15:56
Speaker 6: Day one.
00:15:57
Speaker 3: Day one.
00:15:59
Speaker 5: Day one. Like that's a, that's crazy.
00:16:01
Speaker 3: It is because I needed a plan to, to, to get out. And gym was one of the top things on the list. I think another one was for me to go to nice restaurant bars and sit there with a journal. But I, I've been saying I was going to do that for like two years and I never did it. Like going to a gym seems a lot easier. And my friend, Mary Elizabeth, she joined at the same time. So we went to get there.
00:16:24
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:16:25
Speaker 5: Um, Is that what made you join that gym?
00:16:27
Speaker 1: Cause she was going to like, what was the actual, like, I'm actually going to do it.
00:16:30
Speaker 5: It was her.
00:16:31
Speaker 3: Yeah. It was the, okay, we're doing this. We're going to do it together and we're going to go. And so we went and I only went at that exact time cause I was meeting her. She's like, this is the time I can go. And I was like, perfect. And so it was very, I don't know the word.
00:16:45
Speaker 5: Serendipitous.
00:16:46
Speaker 3: Serendipitous. I don't know.
00:16:50
Speaker 5: It's one of those things that people say.
00:16:51
Speaker 3: One of those things. And so.
00:16:54
Speaker 5: But you're having fun.
00:16:55
Speaker 3: And I was dating. Like, I think before you had your baby, I had gone on some dates with this other person.
00:16:59
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:17:01
Speaker 3: I've been trying to date because I wasn't dating at all. And I was sort of stuck. You.
00:17:05
Speaker 5: Well, I don't want to give timelines out. Never mind.
00:17:08
Speaker 6: What?
00:17:09
Speaker 1: Well, because I was going to say, like. I remember when I first had Zoe, I'd be like, we need some girl talk. And you would voice memo me the updates of all of like the things that you're doing.
00:17:18
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Because there was– Chase was making fun of me because he was like, I think Amy has like nine. And that's an exaggeration. It wasn't. And it was just– it was just a– I was like, okay, I'm going to put myself out there a little more and say yes to things that I had previously been closed off to. And yeah. And some– And then even Chase being around, and I think so many people thought that Chase and I were dating, but Chase is like a good friend that I go do things with, and he is in the know on all the other dating happenings that are going on.
00:17:49
Speaker 5: Yeah, he wasn't one of your suitors.
00:17:51
Speaker 6: No.
00:17:52
Speaker 3: So that's the gossip check-in on that.
00:17:56
Speaker 5: So we'll stay tuned when you're ready to share more. We'll let you.
00:18:01
Speaker 3: Yeah. What other questions did we get? Speaking of Chase, we do have some episode feedback that we got about him, an email from Lindsay.
00:18:08
Speaker 4: Okay.
00:18:09
Speaker 3: And then I don't know if there's any other questions that came in over there, but she's 44 from Washington. She said, hi, I just listened to the October 20th podcast episode with Chase and Amy. Now I love Kat and Amy, their insights flow and interactions, but I'm so happy Kat is taking more time with baby Zoe as she should, in my opinion, enjoy this time. But today's episode was one of my most favorite episodes in some time. The calm demeanor of Chase, the way the Lord was wound in and just a real, relaxed episode. It was stellar. Thank you for having no agenda and bringing a light and new perspective with every episode. Love listening. Cheers. So that, yeah, that was literally Chase and I sitting down with no plan.
00:18:50
Speaker 1: What did you guys end up talking about? Like how, well, I guess you're such good friends. It's like you could just talk about anything. And I feel like if you're not constantly putting out content with somebody, there's so much that you could.
00:19:02
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:19:03
Speaker 3: I think we had gone to the movies and I don't know if you know this, but we, um, that, So I saw the Elizabeth Holmes documentary, which is epic.
00:19:11
Speaker 5: I haven't seen it.
00:19:11
Speaker 3: You can see anything or everything. I can't remember the title.
00:19:16
Speaker 5: You loved it? Yes, it's so good.
00:19:19
Speaker 3: I've never– and today I was wearing a turtleneck at work, like a black turtleneck, and Bobby's like, oh, is that your Elizabeth Holmes outfit? And I was like, oh my gosh, I do look like her. Yeah, she's crazy. And that documentary was unlike any documentary I've ever seen in my entire life. It was so crazy. I highly recommend it. But the movie I saw with Chase was the social network update movie.
00:19:40
Speaker 5: Okay, so was that good? I heard mixed reviews.
00:19:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought it was pretty good. There were some parts that were slow, but overall, I i did like it i did like it the social reckoning reckoning yeah there you go look at you being in the know yeah uh and we sat by nicole kidman.
00:19:56
Speaker 1: Shut up yeah was it like the opening like a special showing or she was just there like a normal no we.
00:20:02
Speaker 3: Just went on a saturday at like one o'clock that's cool did you say hey girl No, it was pitch black when she came in and we were sitting, but we were sitting in her seats because someone was sitting in our seats. So then she's looking at her phone and she says something to Chase. Like, I think I'm sitting there. And Chase is like, oh, sorry, we can move. But there was open seats around. But instead of going to more of the open seats, she plopped right down next to Chase. And of course, we left there. She was with someone. I mean, I'm not going to say. She was a family member. And Chase left the theater in love. He was smelling her the whole time.
00:20:36
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:20:37
Speaker 3: And we left and he was like– we went and ate pizza afterwards and all he talked about for like 20 minutes was like sitting next to Nicole Kidman and how she had her own blanket and she brought her own snacks and how normal she was.
00:20:49
Speaker 5: He's like, maybe stars are just like us.
00:20:50
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:20:52
Speaker 3: So I don't know if that's what we talked about on the October 20th episode. I think so, probably.
00:20:56
Speaker 1: I want to say this, which when I read that email, I was like, oh, dang. She likes Chase more than me and Amy together. But, but this is the beauty of it.
00:21:07
Speaker 3: No, she didn't mean that.
00:21:08
Speaker 5: That was like a fleeting thought.
00:21:10
Speaker 1: She likes our energy, but Chase does have a very different kind of energy where he's.
00:21:15
Speaker 5: Like so level.
00:21:18
Speaker 1: And I feel like that might level you out versus like, I'm not level. We're both kind of similar energy. So we are like, does that make sense what I'm saying? Like it, I'm glad they got to have a different experience with something like that and how like his energy can like change the energy of like the people he's with. That's a gift in a good way. I have a– because we're talking about movies. Can I give a movie review?
00:21:45
Speaker 3: You don't have to ask me. You know you don't.
00:21:48
Speaker 5: I know.
00:21:49
Speaker 3: You know I don't like when you do that.
00:21:51
Speaker 1: I know.
00:21:51
Speaker 3: I know.
00:21:53
Speaker 5: Well, it's more like I don't– there's no way this is a spoiler.
00:21:56
Speaker 6: Okay.
00:21:57
Speaker 1: We talked about how it was sad that I wasn't going to be able to go to the movies and see Verity.
00:22:00
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
00:22:01
Speaker 4: Wait.
00:22:02
Speaker 3: Can we watch it at home now?
00:22:04
Speaker 5: Well, you can for $ 19.
00:22:05
Speaker 3: 99.
00:22:05
Speaker 5: Okay.
00:22:06
Speaker 1: And that's what you did. We rented it for $ 19.
00:22:10
Speaker 5: 99, which is cheaper than going to the movies.
00:22:13
Speaker 2: We watched it yesterday. We watched it yesterday.
00:22:28
Speaker 1: One of the worst movies I've seen in a really long time.
00:22:31
Speaker 4: No way. We love the book.
00:22:33
Speaker 2: The book was so good.
00:22:34
Speaker 5: I think what the problem, the writing was really bad.
00:22:39
Speaker 1: The book was so crazy and there's a lot of character development and like there's so much to that story that that movie needed to be three hours or it needed to be a like limited series for it to really do the book justice. If I didn't read the book, I would have been like, what in the world is happening? Like things just moved so fast. And I like Dakota Johnson, but in this movie, I think it was because of the writing. She seemed like a not great actress, if that makes sense.
00:23:11
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:23:11
Speaker 1: Like if you're given lines that suck, like there's not much you can do with them, you know? But it was almost like kind of funny. Like the preview makes it look really scary and really intense.
00:23:24
Speaker 3: Because it's a psychological thriller.
00:23:25
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:23:25
Speaker 1: We like laughed at it. So I don't know if everybody else is with me, but now that I've seen it, I no longer have the sad feelings I had about not being.
00:23:38
Speaker 5: Able to go to the theaters and see it.
00:23:40
Speaker 3: Nice. Thanks for that review.
00:23:42
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:23:43
Speaker 3: We got another email from Heather. Hey, Amy and Kat, I just listened to this week's podcast and y'all brought up the newsletter. I've been getting them, but realized it's been a while since I've seen one. So I just looked at my email and the last one I received was in August. If y'all have sent out something for September and October, I'm one of the unlucky ones and I've not received them. Hopefully it'll all get figured out soon. Thanks for all you do. Have the name you need to have, your friend Heather. Well, Kat had a baby and she's our newsletter girl. Um, so we're going to get back on it. In fact, something should have gone out or will go out this week. It's not like an official newsletter, but it'll be information about Stevenson's run for Haiti that he's doing this Saturday. So if you're listening to this on Thursday, when it comes out in two days, Stevenson is going to be doing his second annual run for Haiti. Last year, he ran 13.1 miles, which is the furthest he'd ever run. He didn't really train for it. He just set out to run as many miles as he could and people pledged per mile. like $ 1 a mile, $ 5, $ 10, $ 20. Some people gave just a flat donation of, I'll do $ 100, whatever you can do. It doesn't have to be anything crazy. And he raised over $ 30, 000. Insane. And he was so excited that he was like, next year I'm doing a full marathon. Well, now that we're to the full marathon, sorry, now that we're to the year that this is happening, he's smack dabbed. at the crucial time of his cross country career, like he's been running varsity as a freshman. And literally today, as people are listening to this, he's running state in Memphis. So come Saturday, I don't know what his body's going to feel like, uh, to, and how far he's going to be able to go. He said, even the 13.1 last year was really difficult. And he goes, but mom, I said, well, man, you made it look easy. He goes, yeah, mom, because people were counting on me. And he was like, and I had the support and I had the motivation. But it honestly was really hard. And he's like, and then we made all that money. So then I was motivated to do a marathon. But like now, I don't know if I can do that. I said, well, look, no pressure. I said, you should just set out to run again, do it again like you did last year, as many miles as you possibly can. And then you'll be good to go. People are going to show up and want to support you. And all of the money is going to the orphanage in Haiti where my son and my daughter both lived. My son was there till he was seven and my daughter was there till she was 11. And- Team Haiti is our nonprofit that we use to support the orphanage. So the donations will go to Team Haiti's PayPal or Venmo. It's a 501c3. All donations are tax deductible. It's very legit. We'll show you the numbers of like, this is the amount that's going. And then we give updates on how the orphanage uses it. But that 30,000 he raised last year pretty much funded everything for the school there and all their needs for 2026. And he'll be able, I'm like, dude, you're going to run again this weekend and And could fund 2027. Yeah, that's crazy. Which is so crazy that now as a teenager, he's able to give back to the very orphanage that was raising him in those early years of his life. So that will be a newsletter of sorts this week.
00:26:57
Speaker 4: And then.
00:26:59
Speaker 3: I don't know. Pretty much every two weeks moving forward, we'll have something, right? Are we getting back?
00:27:03
Speaker 1: I'd like to get back, but we're going to ease into it and give me some grace because if you get like a newsletter one week and then you don't get another one for a month, it might just be because we're figuring things out.
00:27:15
Speaker 3: We're figuring things out.
00:27:17
Speaker 5: And we let ourselves do that.
00:27:18
Speaker 3: You know what, Heather? But thank you for noticing. Thank you for caring.
00:27:21
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:27:21
Speaker 3: Yeah. We got a voicemail from... Emily, she's from Austin in her 40s, and this is on the topic of over-apologizing. So we'll just play the voicemail. I will say it's a little long, and she addresses that at the end, but we don't care. We can be long-winded at times too. So we're just going to play that for you real quick because we like what you had to share. Hi, Amy and Kat.
00:27:49
Speaker 6: This is Emily calling from Austin. First of all, Amy, I've listened to you for years. I grew up outside of Austin, and I'm a fellow Aggie. Gig'em. I'm in my early 30s, and aging has always intimidated me, but you make your 40s look cool and fun, so thank you for that. I look up to you in a lot of ways.
00:28:08
Speaker 3: And Kat, you are such a joy.
00:28:10
Speaker 6: I find your voice very calming, and I also just love how you articulate your thoughts, and I'm just so happy for you. Yeah, I just really appreciate the perspective that you guys both bring to the podcast, so thank you. I wanted to share a thought on your apologizing episode because it's actually something I've been thinking a lot about and I've experienced it in my career. I'm in corporate tech sales, so I'm just really glad you guys brought this up. I've had several female mentors advise me to avoid apologizing in the workplace. And while I understand the intention, I've kind of noticed the pendulum sometimes swings a little too far. And, you know, I'll preface with, This is situational. It's circumstantial. So it's, of course, always important to think before you speak. And different situations require different.
00:28:58
Speaker 5: Responses, of course.
00:29:00
Speaker 6: Like, for instance, Kat used an example in relationships. Instead of saying, I'm so sorry for venting forever, say, thank you for hearing me out. And I think that translates to the workplace really well. Like, if I'm giving leadership constructive feedback, I can say, thank you for listening instead of apologizing for, you know, doing my job and ultimately trying to improve the company. But the being late example is kind of where I've gotten my feathers ruffled a bit. Like if I'm late to a meeting or if I've kept someone waiting days for an email response, I believe a genuine apology is appropriate. And really like to me, I just think that's basic etiquette and consideration for others. It's rubbed me the wrong way when I've gotten a thank you for your patience instead of like, oh, I'm so sorry for the delay.
00:29:51
Speaker 3: And I was actually.
00:29:52
Speaker 6: Going to write this post on LinkedIn kind of about this hill that I'll die on. And I created an equation for it. The ultimate equation for strong leadership in my book is authority plus humility equals strength. Because from what I've seen, the leaders that I respect most, they're confident and they're authoritative, but they're also humble enough to receive feedback, admit mistakes, and of course, apologize when it's appropriate. And to me, that doesn't diminish their authority. It actually makes me respect them more. And that's kind of the leader that I aspire to be. So if apologizing makes me look weak in some people's eyes, I would gladly sacrifice climbing the ladder if it meant I keep my humility and compassion. But I also believe there's room for both. I think you can climb the ladder and be those things. So to put a bow on this... I don't think we as women should feel the need to apologize unnecessarily, of course, but I also don't want us to view it as a weakness. So just some food for thought. I think, you know, reframing an apology as a thank you is not always the answer. And sometimes the simple, I'm sorry, carries more meaning. So thanks for listening. I'm not apologizing for the length of this voicemail because you asked for it. And I hope y'all have the day you need to have.
00:31:16
Speaker 3: All right. I love that Emily's a fellow Aggie. Giggle.
00:31:19
Speaker 6: Whoop.
00:31:21
Speaker 3: And Emily, you're so right. It's just the thing Aggie say.
00:31:25
Speaker 5: What do you, what is gig?
00:31:26
Speaker 3: Listen, I was a two percenter, which means I gave about two percent.
00:31:29
Speaker 6: Okay.
00:31:30
Speaker 5: So you don't like an action.
00:31:32
Speaker 3: Gig them. Thumbs up. Gig them.
00:31:35
Speaker 6: Boop.
00:31:35
Speaker 3: I don't know.
00:31:36
Speaker 1: I thought it meant it was like a, another way to say like rope, rope.
00:31:41
Speaker 5: Rope them. Yeah.
00:31:42
Speaker 3: No, like we don't say that though.
00:31:44
Speaker 5: We don't say rope them. I know, but I didn't know if gig meant like.
00:31:46
Speaker 4: Gig them.
00:31:47
Speaker 3: It's just what you like. Gig them.
00:31:48
Speaker 2: Like.
00:31:49
Speaker 3: What do you say? Do you have something you.
00:31:51
Speaker 5: Say from college?
00:31:52
Speaker 3: I don't know.
00:31:53
Speaker 2: To the top.
00:31:54
Speaker 5: USM to the top is what they said.
00:31:55
Speaker 3: There. So it's like that.
00:31:56
Speaker 5: And Vanderbilt anchor down.
00:31:58
Speaker 3: Anchor down. Gig'em.
00:31:59
Speaker 6: Okay.
00:32:00
Speaker 2: But I just– okay.
00:32:00
Speaker 5: I was just asking.
00:32:01
Speaker 1: I didn't know if gig'em was an action that I was not aware of. And you're saying no.
00:32:04
Speaker 5: It's just like a thing.
00:32:06
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:32:06
Speaker 4: I don't know.
00:32:07
Speaker 3: Well, Emily, you're so right. I guess the point was never say sorry. Just don't say it for everything.
00:32:13
Speaker 1: Everything. Yes.
00:32:14
Speaker 4: Right. Right.
00:32:15
Speaker 3: Like if you're late or you left someone hanging, a real apology is like– Just good manners.
00:32:21
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:32:21
Speaker 3: And I loved her like authority plus humility equals strength.
00:32:25
Speaker 1: Well, and I think in the workplace, like sometimes it's appropriate. I think as women, we have to be careful of, are we apologizing for everything, especially in the workplace? But also sometimes if I did forget to send an email and it's been a month, it is appropriate for me to say, I'm sorry for the delay versus thank you for the patient. So I liked her nuance to our little segment we did. And I needed that segment for myself this past six weeks because I talked about on Tuesday how every time I ask somebody to do something, specifically Patrick, I'm apologizing for it.
00:33:01
Speaker 5: And it's something we have to untrain ourselves to do. That I didn't think that I did so much. So thanks for the voicemail.
00:33:12
Speaker 4: Thank you for that.
00:33:13
Speaker 5: And thanks for calling. Oh, I have a call out.
00:33:15
Speaker 6: What? Patrick.
00:33:17
Speaker 1: And this actually has to do with a question that we got on Instagram. Somebody asked about holiday traditions. And Patrick asked me on our walk last week, one of our walks. That's like all we do now is go on walks. But he was like, we're going to have our first Thanksgiving and Christmas with Zoe. Like, what holiday traditions do we want to start?
00:33:39
Speaker 6: Oh.
00:33:39
Speaker 5: And I was like, we can have cinnamon rolls.
00:33:43
Speaker 3: With sausage gravy. Like me.
00:33:45
Speaker 5: I was like, I need some ideas.
00:33:48
Speaker 1: So I want people to send us, whether it's voicemail or email, what your holiday traditions are, your favorite ones for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And heck, even New Year's if you have those. Because I want to start some. I already bought us matching Christmas pajamas.
00:34:03
Speaker 5: So that will be one.
00:34:05
Speaker 1: But you know how hard it is to buy clothes for an infant that you don't know what size they're going to be in two months?
00:34:11
Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
00:34:12
Speaker 5: So we might be buying multiple.
00:34:14
Speaker 3: Well, people can send suggestions. So email us, hey, they're at feelingthingspodcast.com or call us 877-207-2077. Remember, gossip with care. Is that one of our new taglines? Gossip with care. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gossip with care.
00:34:27
Speaker 4: And have the day.
00:34:28
Speaker 5: You need to have.
00:34:29
Speaker 4: Bye.
00:34:29
Speaker 1: Bye.
