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So before our final test, and then we're gonna jump into practicum.
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~ I have two big health scares in my family, both my mom and my dad. Which again, relationship we talked about like it was weird, my dad. So kind of trying to balance that.
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And then my mom, and so like I was spending time taking care of her, and so like.
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This is full vulnerability moment with Jamison, I chose to take care of them, but I neglected a lot of my studying for a couple of my last tests. Got through the one for community health.
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I I can't remember. I it was not a great grade, but I passed. I was like, cool, great. And I was staying up late the night for the next test, which was a psych exam. And I ended up sleeping in a little bit.
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So I was I usually showed up like half an hour.
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Early, I was showing up like five minutes before, you know, parking walk there, brisk walk there.
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My spot Dressed as I'll get out.
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my spot in the room is taken where I usually sit.
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And so I grab a paper test, we have to go to the different floor, I walk, and of course, temptation.
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I look at the first question and I'm like, I don't know that. And what does dum dumb Jamison decide to do is pull out his notes and start looking that up.
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Outside the classroom of the room I'm supposed to go into to just take the test, whatever happens, I would have passed if I had failed.
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I would have passed the class if I had failed.
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Just take the test. Nope, sat there looking up and then that turns into question. Turns into another question.
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Teacher catches me. I go in, sit down, take the test, but know that like, you know, the whole time taking the test, I'm just like, what have I done?
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What if why did I do this? You know, all the thoughts and things. end up so like so I I made a choice in it. And then being as an educator enough, I've heard both sides of foot where teachers are like, How dare someone question the integrity of my test, da da da I and but I'm also on the student side where I'm like, How all the pressure cooker they're in, the stress, this, that they have to pass, da da da da da, whatever else is going on in their life.
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Like I get both sides. Like I made a choice though.
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And so the consequences of my choice for that semester was I would get to walk with my fellow students to save face.
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But I would not get my diploma, obviously, because I failed a class they they gave me a failing grade in that~ I did not get to participate in practicum and I lost Mm.
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my spot. I was voted to be the class speaker that year.
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They said we cannot give you that honor because you are not in good standing.
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and you will forfeit your remaining duties as c class vice president for the student association. Everything like I just everything I lost everything.
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Right? All these things there are like man-made, accolades.
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I got to work for I was so Yep. Yep.
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puff puffed up honestly about and Based based on a ~ really for lack of better term, a split second decision. Yo you in that heat of the moment, Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.
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in under the stress, under the pressure cooker, I'm just gonna do this. I'm just gonna and it's just the fur like just that first Yep.
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one. Well, okay, now just the second one.
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And yeah, yeah.
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And I still hold to this day, like if they just sit me up there and the tests were in the room, I would have just walked in and here's my test and but like s monkey see, monkey do temptation like Mm.
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and I couldn't just fold it up and walk.
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I had to look. ~ but anyway, Yeah, yeah.
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so the next month was rough, like May to June was dark.
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Like I I remember calling my mom that day after I told her about what would happen and what you know, I didn't know what disciplinary thing was gonna happen yet or not, but like she was worried for my physical safety how I was sounded.
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I don't remember that deep and dark how I sounded and depressed and like but like that was the closest probably without knowing it that I was my mom was legit concerned for my physical safety.
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~ because of that, because of how hard I took things and put on myself.
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~ so we get through the disciplinary board and all that and find out that they will readmit me.
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I can finish that class. I can redo I can do my practicum.
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I they said I'd be at the bottom of the barrel for replacement.
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I said, I understand that. Like I get it.
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and through that, I just took one challenge at a time.
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I said the next thing was I had no more financial aid.
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I was trying to figure out how to cover for this next thing.
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Got in touch with a lovely lady named Laura Winterstein, who was in charge of all the scholarship opportunities.
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And she got me in touch with some applications literally a day before the And I fill out this application the fastest I ever did and ended up getting one of the biggest ones.
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Wow.
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Was not expecting it, just was hoping for something to help cut the fee.
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~ and so then I had coverage for most of the class.
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I would be able to work all summer and pay off the I was gonna pay off the rest just so I didn't have to take an extra loan out.
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And then the school made arrangements, thank thankfully, where I could test for that class in a specific office away from all the other students.
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So that none of the next cohort had to know what had happened prior and why I was doing this. and they also let me like zoom into the lectures, and so I didn't have to come in person either.
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Like they like the grand scheme of things, like they did what they could to make a situation that I had chosen a bad decision on into something Yeah.
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that was manageable and less embarrassing for me.
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and for the first like month I was just like, I got this, you know, go in, take the test, whatever happens, happens. And it was so awkward because like the person I was testing with, like, just literally had to stare at me the whole time because I had a history of cheating. So it was like Yeah, yeah.
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this like added, like I just got eyes that are bored to tears, but like just glaring into my soul as I take this test.
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For the duration of the every question of this entire test.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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So anyway, got through that. I ended up getting ~ Grace of God, true like I don't know how I got this.
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I got one of the spots in pediatrics three south for my practicum.
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And I worked with you know him, I worked with Bill. ~ he was my preceptor Yeah, Bill, ~ Bill.
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and and what what could have turned into this whole negative experience for me from my own decision and processes,~ ended up being great because I actually worked an extra shift with him the night that the power went out and they had to turn on backup generators and stuff from that really bad windstorm back then.
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Yeah.
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And Three of my thirteen shifts we spent in the PICU because they were short at the time ~ during my practicum and that's what opened my eyes to the PICU and I was like, ~ I wanna work here 'cause I didn't get to see it during my summer intensive. So I like I mean I knew like ICU kinda liked it with adults, but I was like, I don't know, with kids, no, no. I wanna get there someday.
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I wanna get there someday.
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so did the practicum experience on Three South,~ loved it, and then it was time for graduation.
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So okay, so so I mean, yay, you get the practicum that you wanted,~ that you had hoped for, and then this added bonus of getting exposed to the peds ICU. ~ excited to talk about, you know, I mean you've already touched on in your very first episode the being a bedside peds ICU nurse.
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And so ~ we kinda know that you end up there.
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But ~ I imagine Ha ha.
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the road is not quite as straightforward.
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But what I wanna focus at this exact moment, you know, you you you're kinda almost I feel like you're almost about ready to glance over, like, I graduated.
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Okay, but yeah, you graduated again question mark.
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Like how does this feel how does this look what does this look like after your Yeah, yeah, situation?
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yeah. So I got to walk for both my penning and graduation ceremony in the spring, like I said. And so they get the leadership of WC gave me the option if I wanted to walk again or if I just wanted to receive my diploma in the mail quietly. And I said I would much prefer to just receive it quietly.
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I mean some people had known they'd seen me on campus occasionally and some of my friends knew, and of course one of the one of my good friends even to this day, was actually one of the student reps on the disciplinary board.
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So he knew everything was very hush hush about it, very polite, obviously. But like, so like I knew it was out there, but like I just didn't want to add extra insult to injury.
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I was like, I did it. I got through this hurdle.
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I did got overcame my own obstacle I put in my way.
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so I just said, I'll just do that.
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But now what I did do though, and and and you know, so is we always held a Kaplan review session with the actual Kaplan specialist graduation week.
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So I did come for that for four days.
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We sat in like so I hung out with some people I knew there and just listened and taught like took all my notes and stuff.
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Like I I was I'm not missing that.
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Like I got through all this. I Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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need to make sure I'm on the right track for for actually passing the big one.
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So yeah. Yeah. Just my my a minor test that could make you do whatever three Yeah, yeah. The one that stands between you and the rest of your life.
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No big deal. ~ questions at that time or or only eighty and either way you're stressing bullets.
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So Yeah, yeah. I I and again, I I don't know, I I c I don't wanna necessarily call back to this seemingly unimportant question and your answer being, you know, Rip Wheeler, you know, RN.
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Mm-hmm.
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But, you know, you talk about his, you know, his foibles and fallacy you know, the the the parts of him that aren't, you know, the mistakes and yet dependable Yes. Yes.
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and vulnerable, etcetera. All the things.
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Like you are demonstrating this in spades here, you know what mean? And so maybe this informs the answer to this question.
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And I think it looks like based on the time I'm looking at, you have definitely turned into a three parter, my friend. ~ so for those of you, I don't know, can you keep up with us, y'all? I don't know. so Yeah.
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we're gonna go I promise you, we'll limit it to three episodes, not the eight that I've been joking Yes.
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about. ~ but that being said, ~ you know, Rip Wheeler, all those qualities, all the things, you've kind of demonstrated all of this.
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And ~ And you ~ given other answers you've given to other questions.
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I I I think I know where you're going with this, but maybe I don't, so surprise me, no pressure.
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Yeah.
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But you know, you talk about in if do I say in a perfect world, you know what I mean? If i it with in a perfect soul, if you i a perfect spirit, where you choose not to make that academic, you know, dishonest decision, ~ and you graduate with the rest of your class.
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You're gonna be, you know, you were nominated the the class speaker, class rep, you know, all the things.
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And yet here's the I'm comparing and contrasting to this blessing that you've received by being able to have the practicum you wanted and all the things.
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So there's still things that come out of that.
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And yet at the end of the day, like you said, it's still a quiet send me my diploma in the mail.
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There's no accolades, you're not the one standing up there talking to everybody.
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Is there something to get over there in that moment again?
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Or was this kind of a serendipitous like you know what?
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I are you content with the way it all folded?
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I guess is the ultimate question.
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~ in the moment, obviously I was very, very disappointed, ~ Yeah.
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from a selfish, prideful standpoint.
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Like ~ and it wasn't I didn't feel like I'd done anything crazy to like be offered that opportunity to speak for my class and stuff.
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Like I I truly like it's just like what you see is what you get.
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And so like I've always been like same thing.
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Like I got to know almost every one of my class to classmates.
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I got to like I was I I think that's part of why I was selected originally for that role and and everyone got along with me.
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Again, like I said, I can connect with almost anyone of different walks of life and stuff. all I could tell myself during the summer leading up to that final semester, ~ was just get through this.
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Yes. Yeah.
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That that was my that was my motto.
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I just have to get through this.
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Whatever happens, happens. Just get through it.
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And when I got my practicum placement and I was shocked.
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True. Like I was I was floored that I even got anything remotely close to Peds at all. I thought for sure I was just gonna go to some med-surg unit somewhere because I was like, Yeah, I'm ~ when I got that, it definitely spurned a thought of,~ okay, this isn't all bad.
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Like I can still see and get more time on a unit that I thoroughly enjoyed when I was doing it ~ over a year ago now.
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And when I graduated and you know, like I said, like you said, like I said, like just quiet, send in the mail, it's fine. Thank you. Like I'm done.
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~ in the moment it's always hard when you're in the middle of a valley, when you're in a dark room, it's always hard to see the the the perspective of what was going on around you or what was being laid ahead of you or what door frame was opening and I can truly say like once I found out about the hiring positions,~ my mood changed. My thought process started to change.
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My mom even sat down and she's like, Jamison, maybe this was a blessing in disguise.
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Yes, you had to Mm.
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learn through this hard thing.
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Maybe you you had to go through this punishment and through this yeah, absolutely. And your road was had to take this detour to come back to the to I ninety. But ~ this is now an opportunity like that your friends, like I said, I had several friends that had not still had not found good jobs, even into the fall after graduating in the spring.
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Like that was unheard like, you know, we were it was unheard of. And so yeah, I look back Now and I can say it was absolutely a blessing in disguise.
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Like it was absolutely Mm-hmm.
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something that taught me a lot about myself.
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~ taught me how not to crumble to any situation with my own principles and convictions that I need to stand for what's right and I need to make the right decision, even if it's hard, even if it's not gonna benefit me anything, you know, like I'm not gonna succumb to that pressure of a situation anymore.
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But it also And it'll lead into our next episode, but like I didn't realize how good I had it with my first unit and first work Like what I needed coming out of that experience was exactly what God provided in my starting unit, my starting family~ on night shift. the healing and growth that happened in that first year or so.
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~ I absolutely look back now and I tell my students now, like this is gonna lead into like here here we go, teasers, you know, carrots here and carrots there.
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Yeah Yeah.
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I it leads to What I tare w share with my students, what I have shared, like I said, the last couple of semesters with some situations that have arisen with students, like you never know what path you're supposed to take until it's before you.
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And you never know how that path is going to lead you to something better.
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Like you you truly don't know.
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~ you can't see it in the moment, you can't see it in the moment, you can't see it when you're in the depths of despair, you can't see it when you're going through the hardship, when you feel like there's thorns on every side.
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But when you get to the other side and you look back, you're like, if I take in that path.
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Who knows where I would have ended up?
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And I think of that going forward and and also going back to~ my personal conversation about my personal life, like I would not have met my wife, who is exactly who I needed, if that had not happened.
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Yeah. Yeah. ~ my gosh. ~ I've already got goosebumps.
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Like so so I can absolutely say yeah. Yeah, I can absolutely say like it it it was the best of a bad situation of how things unfolded and relationships that were made and who I interacted with and what that's led to now in my professional life, my personal life, like ~ there's no doubt in my mind ~ that it was absolutely something something that was good.
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Dude. There's no better teaser than for your third episode, y'all. Don't miss this third episode.
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We're gonna talk about how like the start of his nursing career, how he ended up in the PICU, his road path, travel there, and then we're gonna touch on that nurse educator port part as well.
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~ and so before we do, I just wanna add to what you're saying there.
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Because what you've just laid out is, you know, some let me take it from a Christian perspective.
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You know what I mean? Those that are like, you know, God has this plan and so on and so forth.
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Some people take that too the nth degree and you know what I mean would say, you know what I mean, gosh, well they caused you and he made you fail that test because you know what I mean? Or he put it on that teacher's heart to catch you so that you could and and I don't buy that.
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I I think that's faulty logic both biblically and just from a logical however you know because there's this thing called free will, right? And that's what Christians espouse Yep. Yep.
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that's what we all have this free will.
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And when you make a choice, there are consequences.
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It's you've already talked about well, well in advance. And this was a theme we talked about in the previous,~ the previous honored guests that I spoke with today.
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Again, these these common threads that run through.
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I just love it. But talking about consequences for our actions.
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And what yours is is you know, just one of the most incredible stories of grace and redemption.
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And you know what I mean? And and in those dark moments, like you said, your mom is worried you're gonna hurt yourself.
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And I I'm gonna touch out there a little bit.
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There's an episode a while back, y'all. You if you haven't heard it,~ go back and find it. Lewis Hackney, you want to go back and listen to Lewis Hackney's episode.
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He's not a nurse.
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And chatted with him just here a little while back.
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He you know, he talks about male suicide in particular.
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And ~ r he runs twelve K every day for a year ~ to bring awareness to this whole mental men's mental health in particular, men's suicide. And it just dovetails nicely into because you know what I mean.
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In those dark moments, Jamison, and I'm not gonna ask you, we're not gonna open up like did he go you were you thinking that far?
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But you were in a really dark place and in those dark places is where these things can occur.
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And and you could make that rash decision of it's so painful, Yep. Yep.
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it hurts so bad, I'm just I'm just gonna end it all. And I'm beseeching anyone out there, if you ever get to that point, as long as you push through and you just listen to what Jamison has talked about and all the things, there is grace, there's redemption. I don't care what your mistake is.
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I you kill somebody, you end in prison.
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Man, that's something you're gonna have to live with.
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But guess what? There's still grace and redemption.
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For these choices that you make in life that you are gonna be harder on yourself on than anyone else will be.
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And so, Jamison, I just thank you for opening that up.
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And let's dive right into what that redemption story continues to look like in part three. Sound good?
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Sounds good to me.
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Alright, y'all, we're gonna catch you in part three.
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So before our final test, and then we're gonna jump into practicum.
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~ I have two big health scares in my family, both my mom and my dad. Which again, relationship we talked about like it was weird, my dad. So kind of trying to balance that.
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And then my mom, and so like I was spending time taking care of her, and so like.
00:00:17.253 --> 00:00:27.926
This is full vulnerability moment with Jamison, I chose to take care of them, but I neglected a lot of my studying for a couple of my last tests. Got through the one for community health.
00:00:27.926 --> 00:00:39.737
I I can't remember. I it was not a great grade, but I passed. I was like, cool, great. And I was staying up late the night for the next test, which was a psych exam. And I ended up sleeping in a little bit.
00:00:39.737 --> 00:00:41.630
So I was I usually showed up like half an hour.
00:00:41.917 --> 00:00:46.258
Early, I was showing up like five minutes before, you know, parking walk there, brisk walk there.
00:00:46.258 --> 00:00:47.631
My spot Dressed as I'll get out.
00:00:47.698 --> 00:00:50.880
my spot in the room is taken where I usually sit.
00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:57.320
And so I grab a paper test, we have to go to the different floor, I walk, and of course, temptation.
00:00:57.320 --> 00:01:05.683
I look at the first question and I'm like, I don't know that. And what does dum dumb Jamison decide to do is pull out his notes and start looking that up.
00:01:07.141 --> 00:01:12.412
Outside the classroom of the room I'm supposed to go into to just take the test, whatever happens, I would have passed if I had failed.
00:01:12.412 --> 00:01:14.334
I would have passed the class if I had failed.
00:01:14.334 --> 00:01:19.944
Just take the test. Nope, sat there looking up and then that turns into question. Turns into another question.
00:01:19.944 --> 00:01:28.438
Teacher catches me. I go in, sit down, take the test, but know that like, you know, the whole time taking the test, I'm just like, what have I done?
00:01:28.438 --> 00:01:53.120
What if why did I do this? You know, all the thoughts and things. end up so like so I I made a choice in it. And then being as an educator enough, I've heard both sides of foot where teachers are like, How dare someone question the integrity of my test, da da da I and but I'm also on the student side where I'm like, How all the pressure cooker they're in, the stress, this, that they have to pass, da da da da da, whatever else is going on in their life.
00:01:53.120 --> 00:01:55.962
Like I get both sides. Like I made a choice though.
00:01:55.962 --> 00:02:01.548
And so the consequences of my choice for that semester was I would get to walk with my fellow students to save face.
00:02:02.781 --> 00:02:12.484
But I would not get my diploma, obviously, because I failed a class they they gave me a failing grade in that~ I did not get to participate in practicum and I lost Mm.
00:02:11.925 --> 00:02:14.746
my spot. I was voted to be the class speaker that year.
00:02:14.746 --> 00:02:17.816
They said we cannot give you that honor because you are not in good standing.
00:02:17.816 --> 00:02:27.098
and you will forfeit your remaining duties as c class vice president for the student association. Everything like I just everything I lost everything.
00:02:27.098 --> 00:02:29.990
Right? All these things there are like man-made, accolades.
00:02:30.725 --> 00:02:32.687
I got to work for I was so Yep. Yep.
00:02:32.723 --> 00:02:43.930
puff puffed up honestly about and Based based on a ~ really for lack of better term, a split second decision. Yo you in that heat of the moment, Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.
00:02:42.058 --> 00:02:46.971
in under the stress, under the pressure cooker, I'm just gonna do this. I'm just gonna and it's just the fur like just that first Yep.
00:02:47.027 --> 00:02:48.730
one. Well, okay, now just the second one.
00:02:48.730 --> 00:02:49.730
And yeah, yeah.
00:02:50.002 --> 00:03:01.757
And I still hold to this day, like if they just sit me up there and the tests were in the room, I would have just walked in and here's my test and but like s monkey see, monkey do temptation like Mm.
00:03:01.287 --> 00:03:03.258
and I couldn't just fold it up and walk.
00:03:03.258 --> 00:03:05.318
I had to look. ~ but anyway, Yeah, yeah.
00:03:05.078 --> 00:03:09.490
so the next month was rough, like May to June was dark.
00:03:09.490 --> 00:03:22.368
Like I I remember calling my mom that day after I told her about what would happen and what you know, I didn't know what disciplinary thing was gonna happen yet or not, but like she was worried for my physical safety how I was sounded.
00:03:22.368 --> 00:03:33.324
I don't remember that deep and dark how I sounded and depressed and like but like that was the closest probably without knowing it that I was my mom was legit concerned for my physical safety.
00:03:33.324 --> 00:03:38.125
~ because of that, because of how hard I took things and put on myself.
00:03:38.125 --> 00:03:44.487
~ so we get through the disciplinary board and all that and find out that they will readmit me.
00:03:44.783 --> 00:03:48.836
I can finish that class. I can redo I can do my practicum.
00:03:48.836 --> 00:03:51.606
I they said I'd be at the bottom of the barrel for replacement.
00:03:51.606 --> 00:03:54.177
I said, I understand that. Like I get it.
00:03:54.177 --> 00:03:58.289
and through that, I just took one challenge at a time.
00:03:58.289 --> 00:04:00.471
I said the next thing was I had no more financial aid.
00:04:00.471 --> 00:04:02.581
I was trying to figure out how to cover for this next thing.
00:04:02.581 --> 00:04:08.133
Got in touch with a lovely lady named Laura Winterstein, who was in charge of all the scholarship opportunities.
00:04:08.133 --> 00:04:17.173
And she got me in touch with some applications literally a day before the And I fill out this application the fastest I ever did and ended up getting one of the biggest ones.
00:04:17.684 --> 00:04:18.684
Wow.
00:04:18.192 --> 00:04:21.173
Was not expecting it, just was hoping for something to help cut the fee.
00:04:21.173 --> 00:04:25.156
~ and so then I had coverage for most of the class.
00:04:25.156 --> 00:04:30.437
I would be able to work all summer and pay off the I was gonna pay off the rest just so I didn't have to take an extra loan out.
00:04:30.437 --> 00:04:39.629
And then the school made arrangements, thank thankfully, where I could test for that class in a specific office away from all the other students.
00:04:40.297 --> 00:04:50.865
So that none of the next cohort had to know what had happened prior and why I was doing this. and they also let me like zoom into the lectures, and so I didn't have to come in person either.
00:04:50.865 --> 00:04:59.857
Like they like the grand scheme of things, like they did what they could to make a situation that I had chosen a bad decision on into something Yeah.
00:04:59.423 --> 00:05:02.797
that was manageable and less embarrassing for me.
00:05:02.797 --> 00:05:15.963
and for the first like month I was just like, I got this, you know, go in, take the test, whatever happens, happens. And it was so awkward because like the person I was testing with, like, just literally had to stare at me the whole time because I had a history of cheating. So it was like Yeah, yeah.
00:05:16.132 --> 00:05:24.805
this like added, like I just got eyes that are bored to tears, but like just glaring into my soul as I take this test.
00:05:23.351 --> 00:05:27.057
For the duration of the every question of this entire test.
00:05:24.805 --> 00:05:26.045
Yeah. Yeah.
00:05:28.127 --> 00:05:33.581
So anyway, got through that. I ended up getting ~ Grace of God, true like I don't know how I got this.
00:05:33.581 --> 00:05:37.113
I got one of the spots in pediatrics three south for my practicum.
00:05:37.113 --> 00:05:42.485
And I worked with you know him, I worked with Bill. ~ he was my preceptor Yeah, Bill, ~ Bill.
00:05:42.708 --> 00:05:59.399
and and what what could have turned into this whole negative experience for me from my own decision and processes,~ ended up being great because I actually worked an extra shift with him the night that the power went out and they had to turn on backup generators and stuff from that really bad windstorm back then.
00:05:59.144 --> 00:06:00.144
Yeah.
00:06:00.259 --> 00:06:21.803
And Three of my thirteen shifts we spent in the PICU because they were short at the time ~ during my practicum and that's what opened my eyes to the PICU and I was like, ~ I wanna work here 'cause I didn't get to see it during my summer intensive. So I like I mean I knew like ICU kinda liked it with adults, but I was like, I don't know, with kids, no, no. I wanna get there someday.
00:06:21.803 --> 00:06:22.803
I wanna get there someday.
00:06:22.786 --> 00:06:28.982
so did the practicum experience on Three South,~ loved it, and then it was time for graduation.
00:06:29.517 --> 00:06:45.035
So okay, so so I mean, yay, you get the practicum that you wanted,~ that you had hoped for, and then this added bonus of getting exposed to the peds ICU. ~ excited to talk about, you know, I mean you've already touched on in your very first episode the being a bedside peds ICU nurse.
00:06:45.035 --> 00:06:47.896
And so ~ we kinda know that you end up there.
00:06:47.896 --> 00:06:49.663
But ~ I imagine Ha ha.
00:06:49.346 --> 00:06:51.057
the road is not quite as straightforward.
00:06:51.057 --> 00:06:57.639
But what I wanna focus at this exact moment, you know, you you you're kinda almost I feel like you're almost about ready to glance over, like, I graduated.
00:06:58.180 --> 00:07:00.995
Okay, but yeah, you graduated again question mark.
00:07:00.995 --> 00:07:05.774
Like how does this feel how does this look what does this look like after your Yeah, yeah, situation?
00:07:05.699 --> 00:07:23.567
yeah. So I got to walk for both my penning and graduation ceremony in the spring, like I said. And so they get the leadership of WC gave me the option if I wanted to walk again or if I just wanted to receive my diploma in the mail quietly. And I said I would much prefer to just receive it quietly.
00:07:23.567 --> 00:07:35.509
I mean some people had known they'd seen me on campus occasionally and some of my friends knew, and of course one of the one of my good friends even to this day, was actually one of the student reps on the disciplinary board.
00:07:35.509 --> 00:07:43.389
So he knew everything was very hush hush about it, very polite, obviously. But like, so like I knew it was out there, but like I just didn't want to add extra insult to injury.
00:07:43.389 --> 00:07:45.944
I was like, I did it. I got through this hurdle.
00:07:45.944 --> 00:07:48.605
I did got overcame my own obstacle I put in my way.
00:07:48.605 --> 00:07:51.024
so I just said, I'll just do that.
00:07:51.024 --> 00:08:00.709
But now what I did do though, and and and you know, so is we always held a Kaplan review session with the actual Kaplan specialist graduation week.
00:08:00.985 --> 00:08:03.016
So I did come for that for four days.
00:08:03.016 --> 00:08:08.396
We sat in like so I hung out with some people I knew there and just listened and taught like took all my notes and stuff.
00:08:08.396 --> 00:08:09.737
Like I I was I'm not missing that.
00:08:09.737 --> 00:08:11.545
Like I got through all this. I Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:11.577 --> 00:08:15.119
need to make sure I'm on the right track for for actually passing the big one.
00:08:15.119 --> 00:08:18.278
So yeah. Yeah. Just my my a minor test that could make you do whatever three Yeah, yeah. The one that stands between you and the rest of your life.
00:08:18.278 --> 00:08:27.033
No big deal. ~ questions at that time or or only eighty and either way you're stressing bullets.
00:08:27.033 --> 00:08:38.317
So Yeah, yeah. I I and again, I I don't know, I I c I don't wanna necessarily call back to this seemingly unimportant question and your answer being, you know, Rip Wheeler, you know, RN.
00:08:37.989 --> 00:08:38.989
Mm-hmm.
00:08:38.657 --> 00:08:46.413
But, you know, you talk about his, you know, his foibles and fallacy you know, the the the parts of him that aren't, you know, the mistakes and yet dependable Yes. Yes.
00:08:46.402 --> 00:08:48.023
and vulnerable, etcetera. All the things.
00:08:48.023 --> 00:08:54.025
Like you are demonstrating this in spades here, you know what mean? And so maybe this informs the answer to this question.
00:08:54.025 --> 00:09:04.942
And I think it looks like based on the time I'm looking at, you have definitely turned into a three parter, my friend. ~ so for those of you, I don't know, can you keep up with us, y'all? I don't know. so Yeah.
00:09:04.780 --> 00:09:09.389
we're gonna go I promise you, we'll limit it to three episodes, not the eight that I've been joking Yes.
00:09:08.844 --> 00:09:18.350
about. ~ but that being said, ~ you know, Rip Wheeler, all those qualities, all the things, you've kind of demonstrated all of this.
00:09:18.350 --> 00:09:23.865
And ~ And you ~ given other answers you've given to other questions.
00:09:23.865 --> 00:09:28.918
I I I think I know where you're going with this, but maybe I don't, so surprise me, no pressure.
00:09:28.815 --> 00:09:29.815
Yeah.
00:09:30.311 --> 00:09:48.846
But you know, you talk about in if do I say in a perfect world, you know what I mean? If i it with in a perfect soul, if you i a perfect spirit, where you choose not to make that academic, you know, dishonest decision, ~ and you graduate with the rest of your class.
00:09:49.264 --> 00:09:54.585
You're gonna be, you know, you were nominated the the class speaker, class rep, you know, all the things.
00:09:54.585 --> 00:10:06.788
And yet here's the I'm comparing and contrasting to this blessing that you've received by being able to have the practicum you wanted and all the things.
00:10:06.788 --> 00:10:08.889
So there's still things that come out of that.
00:10:08.889 --> 00:10:14.530
And yet at the end of the day, like you said, it's still a quiet send me my diploma in the mail.
00:10:15.291 --> 00:10:19.317
There's no accolades, you're not the one standing up there talking to everybody.
00:10:19.317 --> 00:10:23.042
Is there something to get over there in that moment again?
00:10:23.042 --> 00:10:26.687
Or was this kind of a serendipitous like you know what?
00:10:26.687 --> 00:10:29.841
I are you content with the way it all folded?
00:10:29.841 --> 00:10:31.745
I guess is the ultimate question.
00:10:32.890 --> 00:10:38.253
~ in the moment, obviously I was very, very disappointed, ~ Yeah.
00:10:37.932 --> 00:10:39.722
from a selfish, prideful standpoint.
00:10:39.722 --> 00:10:48.582
Like ~ and it wasn't I didn't feel like I'd done anything crazy to like be offered that opportunity to speak for my class and stuff.
00:10:48.582 --> 00:10:51.576
Like I I truly like it's just like what you see is what you get.
00:10:51.576 --> 00:10:53.376
And so like I've always been like same thing.
00:10:53.376 --> 00:10:55.937
Like I got to know almost every one of my class to classmates.
00:10:55.937 --> 00:11:02.416
I got to like I was I I think that's part of why I was selected originally for that role and and everyone got along with me.
00:11:02.416 --> 00:11:13.668
Again, like I said, I can connect with almost anyone of different walks of life and stuff. all I could tell myself during the summer leading up to that final semester, ~ was just get through this.
00:11:12.004 --> 00:11:14.307
Yes. Yeah.
00:11:14.488 --> 00:11:16.219
That that was my that was my motto.
00:11:16.219 --> 00:11:17.729
I just have to get through this.
00:11:17.729 --> 00:11:20.129
Whatever happens, happens. Just get through it.
00:11:20.129 --> 00:11:24.951
And when I got my practicum placement and I was shocked.
00:11:25.101 --> 00:11:43.278
True. Like I was I was floored that I even got anything remotely close to Peds at all. I thought for sure I was just gonna go to some med-surg unit somewhere because I was like, Yeah, I'm ~ when I got that, it definitely spurned a thought of,~ okay, this isn't all bad.
00:11:43.278 --> 00:11:50.945
Like I can still see and get more time on a unit that I thoroughly enjoyed when I was doing it ~ over a year ago now.
00:11:51.735 --> 00:12:00.725
And when I graduated and you know, like I said, like you said, like I said, like just quiet, send in the mail, it's fine. Thank you. Like I'm done.
00:12:00.725 --> 00:12:21.399
~ in the moment it's always hard when you're in the middle of a valley, when you're in a dark room, it's always hard to see the the the perspective of what was going on around you or what was being laid ahead of you or what door frame was opening and I can truly say like once I found out about the hiring positions,~ my mood changed. My thought process started to change.
00:12:21.399 --> 00:12:25.640
My mom even sat down and she's like, Jamison, maybe this was a blessing in disguise.
00:12:25.640 --> 00:12:27.302
Yes, you had to Mm.
00:12:26.600 --> 00:12:28.331
learn through this hard thing.
00:12:28.331 --> 00:12:47.957
Maybe you you had to go through this punishment and through this yeah, absolutely. And your road was had to take this detour to come back to the to I ninety. But ~ this is now an opportunity like that your friends, like I said, I had several friends that had not still had not found good jobs, even into the fall after graduating in the spring.
00:12:47.957 --> 00:12:56.683
Like that was unheard like, you know, we were it was unheard of. And so yeah, I look back Now and I can say it was absolutely a blessing in disguise.
00:12:56.683 --> 00:12:58.279
Like it was absolutely Mm-hmm.
00:12:57.833 --> 00:12:59.715
something that taught me a lot about myself.
00:12:59.715 --> 00:13:18.023
~ taught me how not to crumble to any situation with my own principles and convictions that I need to stand for what's right and I need to make the right decision, even if it's hard, even if it's not gonna benefit me anything, you know, like I'm not gonna succumb to that pressure of a situation anymore.
00:13:18.023 --> 00:13:35.371
But it also And it'll lead into our next episode, but like I didn't realize how good I had it with my first unit and first work Like what I needed coming out of that experience was exactly what God provided in my starting unit, my starting family~ on night shift. the healing and growth that happened in that first year or so.
00:13:35.371 --> 00:13:43.855
~ I absolutely look back now and I tell my students now, like this is gonna lead into like here here we go, teasers, you know, carrots here and carrots there.
00:13:42.529 --> 00:13:44.110
Yeah Yeah.
00:13:43.855 --> 00:13:54.602
I it leads to What I tare w share with my students, what I have shared, like I said, the last couple of semesters with some situations that have arisen with students, like you never know what path you're supposed to take until it's before you.
00:13:54.602 --> 00:13:57.384
And you never know how that path is going to lead you to something better.
00:13:57.384 --> 00:13:59.326
Like you you truly don't know.
00:13:59.326 --> 00:14:09.123
~ you can't see it in the moment, you can't see it in the moment, you can't see it when you're in the depths of despair, you can't see it when you're going through the hardship, when you feel like there's thorns on every side.
00:14:09.123 --> 00:14:13.135
But when you get to the other side and you look back, you're like, if I take in that path.
00:14:13.751 --> 00:14:15.274
Who knows where I would have ended up?
00:14:15.274 --> 00:14:26.932
And I think of that going forward and and also going back to~ my personal conversation about my personal life, like I would not have met my wife, who is exactly who I needed, if that had not happened.
00:14:27.556 --> 00:14:32.065
Yeah. Yeah. ~ my gosh. ~ I've already got goosebumps.
00:14:29.207 --> 00:14:53.908
Like so so I can absolutely say yeah. Yeah, I can absolutely say like it it it was the best of a bad situation of how things unfolded and relationships that were made and who I interacted with and what that's led to now in my professional life, my personal life, like ~ there's no doubt in my mind ~ that it was absolutely something something that was good.
00:14:55.011 --> 00:14:59.504
Dude. There's no better teaser than for your third episode, y'all. Don't miss this third episode.
00:14:59.504 --> 00:15:08.600
We're gonna talk about how like the start of his nursing career, how he ended up in the PICU, his road path, travel there, and then we're gonna touch on that nurse educator port part as well.
00:15:08.600 --> 00:15:12.964
~ and so before we do, I just wanna add to what you're saying there.
00:15:12.964 --> 00:15:18.758
Because what you've just laid out is, you know, some let me take it from a Christian perspective.
00:15:18.758 --> 00:15:23.260
You know what I mean? Those that are like, you know, God has this plan and so on and so forth.
00:15:23.260 --> 00:15:39.739
Some people take that too the nth degree and you know what I mean would say, you know what I mean, gosh, well they caused you and he made you fail that test because you know what I mean? Or he put it on that teacher's heart to catch you so that you could and and I don't buy that.
00:15:39.739 --> 00:15:48.693
I I think that's faulty logic both biblically and just from a logical however you know because there's this thing called free will, right? And that's what Christians espouse Yep. Yep.
00:15:48.914 --> 00:15:50.846
that's what we all have this free will.
00:15:51.480 --> 00:15:53.279
And when you make a choice, there are consequences.
00:15:53.279 --> 00:16:00.744
It's you've already talked about well, well in advance. And this was a theme we talked about in the previous,~ the previous honored guests that I spoke with today.
00:16:00.744 --> 00:16:03.121
Again, these these common threads that run through.
00:16:03.121 --> 00:16:05.865
I just love it. But talking about consequences for our actions.
00:16:05.865 --> 00:16:13.428
And what yours is is you know, just one of the most incredible stories of grace and redemption.
00:16:13.428 --> 00:16:19.432
And you know what I mean? And and in those dark moments, like you said, your mom is worried you're gonna hurt yourself.
00:16:20.059 --> 00:16:21.831
And I I'm gonna touch out there a little bit.
00:16:21.831 --> 00:16:29.373
There's an episode a while back, y'all. You if you haven't heard it,~ go back and find it. Lewis Hackney, you want to go back and listen to Lewis Hackney's episode.
00:16:29.373 --> 00:16:30.373
He's not a nurse.
00:16:30.508 --> 00:16:33.609
And chatted with him just here a little while back.
00:16:33.609 --> 00:16:36.990
He you know, he talks about male suicide in particular.
00:16:36.990 --> 00:16:50.011
And ~ r he runs twelve K every day for a year ~ to bring awareness to this whole mental men's mental health in particular, men's suicide. And it just dovetails nicely into because you know what I mean.
00:16:50.011 --> 00:16:55.217
In those dark moments, Jamison, and I'm not gonna ask you, we're not gonna open up like did he go you were you thinking that far?
00:16:55.217 --> 00:16:59.980
But you were in a really dark place and in those dark places is where these things can occur.
00:16:59.836 --> 00:17:05.180
And and you could make that rash decision of it's so painful, Yep. Yep.
00:17:03.287 --> 00:17:21.281
it hurts so bad, I'm just I'm just gonna end it all. And I'm beseeching anyone out there, if you ever get to that point, as long as you push through and you just listen to what Jamison has talked about and all the things, there is grace, there's redemption. I don't care what your mistake is.
00:17:21.281 --> 00:17:23.682
I you kill somebody, you end in prison.
00:17:23.682 --> 00:17:25.482
Man, that's something you're gonna have to live with.
00:17:25.482 --> 00:17:28.084
But guess what? There's still grace and redemption.
00:17:28.490 --> 00:17:34.323
For these choices that you make in life that you are gonna be harder on yourself on than anyone else will be.
00:17:34.323 --> 00:17:38.304
And so, Jamison, I just thank you for opening that up.
00:17:38.304 --> 00:17:44.365
And let's dive right into what that redemption story continues to look like in part three. Sound good?
00:17:45.258 --> 00:17:46.258
Sounds good to me.
00:17:46.166 --> 00:17:48.106
Alright, y'all, we're gonna catch you in part three.
