Courage – Part 5: Handling Conflict & Confrontation | Faith Without Walls

WEBVTT
00:00:13.359 --> 00:00:16.719
Good morning, world, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you are today.
00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:19.920
We welcome you here to hashtag Christian Straight Talk.
00:00:20.079 --> 00:00:26.640
You've got Simon Pinchback and myself, Reverend Ben Cooper, and we are in this little studio, this little temporary studio.
00:00:26.719 --> 00:00:29.359
We have got scaffolders outside the window.
00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:35.119
So you might hear some bells and some whistles, and you might hear some very unusual language.
00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:36.799
And uh, but the Lord is good.
00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:38.000
Simon, we're in.
00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:40.079
Let me just go and have a word with them guys.
00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:45.679
Oh, what we're talking about today is uh the courage to handle conflicts and confrontation.
00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:47.280
This is serious.
00:00:47.439 --> 00:00:49.679
We're in our little studio.
00:00:49.840 --> 00:01:03.280
Yeah, we're in this temporary makeshed shed recording this podcast, just getting all this building work done, building a new studio, everything is breaking out around us, but we are here, we're in the Lord's house, that is the most important thing.
00:01:03.359 --> 00:01:08.239
And wherever you are across the world today, welcome to hashtag Christian StraightTalk.
00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:09.040
We welcome you in.
00:01:09.200 --> 00:01:11.200
I've got my good friend, I've got my great mate.
00:01:11.439 --> 00:01:12.400
Yeah, it's great to be here.
00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:17.200
And uh Ben, and and this is the fifth on the series in courage that we're doing.
00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:21.599
Uh and it's is the courage to handle conflicts and uh and confrontation.
00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:33.359
And Ben, you know, at some point in all of our lives, wherever you are out there around the world, at some point you we have to face conflict and we have to face confrontation.
00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:35.200
Some on a daily basis.
00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:38.000
That's just the way things are, Ben.
00:01:38.319 --> 00:01:39.680
It's quite frightening though, isn't it?
00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:45.840
To think that as a believer that there will be and is confrontation.
00:01:46.079 --> 00:01:50.719
But the church tells us everything is fluffy and happy and wonderful.
00:01:50.959 --> 00:01:52.480
Come, there is peace.
00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:57.200
But until you close the door to your house, and then you know it's all exploding.
00:01:57.519 --> 00:02:09.919
There's something going on with a family or friend, authority, or workplace business, even when you're out shopping, even when you drive in, there's rage all the time because the world's getting an angrier place, isn't it, Ben?
00:02:10.319 --> 00:02:11.439
There is anger everywhere.
00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:14.319
There is discord, there are lots of things happening out.
00:02:14.479 --> 00:02:25.520
So, as a believer, this is a very challenging and a very interesting title that we got here today on hashtag Christian Strait Talk, the courage to handle conflict and confrontation.
00:02:25.840 --> 00:02:27.120
I've experienced this.
00:02:27.280 --> 00:02:36.159
I ain't gonna go into the real depth and the personal names and name it and claim it and all sorts of things, but I understand, I clearly know what it's like.
00:02:36.560 --> 00:02:45.840
And you were talking we could be talking about uh a a short conflict or something that happens just out of the blue, or maybe a long-term thing.
00:02:45.919 --> 00:02:51.360
That's but it's all around us, and and uh Ben, it it's how we handle it, that's what God looks at.
00:02:51.759 --> 00:02:53.199
How do I handle it?
00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:53.759
Yeah.
00:02:54.080 --> 00:02:57.120
Now the battle belongs to the Lord.
00:02:57.199 --> 00:03:01.280
Now that could be quite a bit of a cop-out, you know, oh the Lord's gonna deal with it.
00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:04.400
The Lord deals with it, but he uses us to deal with it.
00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:08.000
Yeah, even though I go through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.
00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:20.080
Now, that shadow, that valley of death, that can be an experience, not literally of your unmortality, but a valley that is very dark of a workplace experience, of a family experience.
00:03:20.479 --> 00:03:28.560
But as I walk through, because it I th I believe it's verse four, it says, Even though I walk through, each and every one of us are on a walk through.
00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:31.680
And it's not gonna be roses, it's gonna be roses, it's gonna be challenging.
00:03:31.919 --> 00:03:32.639
It's gonna be tough.
00:03:32.800 --> 00:03:33.680
It's gonna be tough, Ben.
00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:34.400
What do we do?
00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:35.919
Do we How do I do that, Summer?
00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:37.680
How do I how do I get through this life?
00:03:37.919 --> 00:03:40.080
Well, we're gonna there's several layers.
00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:42.479
I mean, how do we meet it head on?
00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:43.759
Do we avoid it?
00:03:43.919 --> 00:03:47.680
Look, no one wants to be known as a a walkover do they?
00:03:47.840 --> 00:03:51.360
No one wants to be walk known as someone that you can tread on.
00:03:51.520 --> 00:03:57.439
Um so it's knowing when to stand strong, it's knowing when to compromise, really.
00:03:58.240 --> 00:04:00.400
Um where should we turn?
00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:01.599
Where should we turn it on?
00:04:01.759 --> 00:04:02.639
Where should we turn?
00:04:02.719 --> 00:04:04.479
Uh I've got to turn to a clone.
00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:06.879
I've got to turn into Jesus.
00:04:07.039 --> 00:04:14.800
I don't get the rifle out, I don't get the gloves out, I don't start the car, and I don't send the text and I don't send the email.
00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:21.040
The first thing that I should do is, God, please help me, guide me and strengthen me.
00:04:21.680 --> 00:04:25.519
Well, Ben, we turn to the word of God, don't we, as well?
00:04:25.680 --> 00:04:27.680
What does the word of God say about this?
00:04:27.839 --> 00:04:34.560
If you know, and the thing is, if you're in the word of God, you should it should be on your heart, you should know it.
00:04:34.639 --> 00:04:38.000
And and you you were right when when we kicked this off.
00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:43.360
Um because we belong to Jesus, yeah, what's he gonna do?
00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:46.399
He he's not gonna go, you're on your own son, right?
00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:46.720
Is he?
00:04:47.199 --> 00:04:48.959
I'll tell you another thing that he won't do.
00:04:49.279 --> 00:04:53.199
He won't go, he won't go, I'll remove that problem.
00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:56.879
Don't worry about your enemies, I'll I'll take them out of your sight.
00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:04.160
What he will do, he will walk before us, he will deal with us as we go in.
00:05:04.319 --> 00:05:08.319
So there are areas of conflict that we can never avoid.
00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:11.920
We have to go through because it comes to enduring.
00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:18.319
And that's uh a big thing, and um that's something we're gonna talk about uh in the next podcast, Ben.
00:05:18.720 --> 00:05:21.519
But endurance, perseverance.
00:05:21.759 --> 00:05:24.959
Uh but here's the here's the deal.
00:05:25.199 --> 00:05:32.000
Um he's gonna Jesus will fight for us, and you're into big areas here, ain't it?
00:05:32.399 --> 00:05:33.040
Big areas, yeah.
00:05:33.279 --> 00:05:45.519
And the thing is, the prayer is this, I I believe, Ben, it's not as you quite really said, to not to take this away, but Lord give me the strength to get through it.
00:05:46.079 --> 00:06:04.000
And um you you can look at the uh you see imagine you're going down a um a river in in a canoe or a boat, and it's beautiful, the sun's out, it's it's it's lovely, you know, the fishes are splashing and all that sort of stuff.
00:06:04.240 --> 00:06:08.639
And all of a sudden, you up ahead there's rocks.
00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:11.839
And there's Yeah, it's coming at you.
00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:15.040
It's coming at you, and it's coming in left field, it's coming in all over the place.
00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:19.600
And many people will go, Lord, take the rocks away.
00:06:19.759 --> 00:06:28.720
Take the rocks away, and you're heading for 'em, and you and you you there's no way you can avoid them, and the boat's gonna, you know, it's gonna smash and you're gonna be smashed as smellerines.
00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:32.399
But what does God do at the last minute?
00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:36.399
He raises the level of the water and we go over the top.
00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:36.800
Amen.
00:06:37.199 --> 00:06:38.639
That's called grace, isn't it?
00:06:39.279 --> 00:06:40.240
Grace and faith.
00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:43.519
He will raise now.
00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:46.639
I believe that we could bring in Psalm 91.
00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:57.920
I will send, I will command my angels concerning you to lift you up in their hands, yeah, so that you will not strike your foot against that rock.
00:06:58.240 --> 00:06:58.879
Yeah, that rock.
00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:10.560
So the prairies don't take this stuff away, but give me the strength and the and in you give me the strength in you, not in me, because in me I'm because the rocks could take me out.
00:07:10.879 --> 00:07:12.079
The rocks will take you out.
00:07:12.480 --> 00:07:23.680
But the heavenly hosts, at the command of your word, will lift me up in their hands, so the water level rises, and I will not strike my foot against the stone.
00:07:23.839 --> 00:07:29.040
But Matthew chapter five, verse forty-three and forty eight is a very interesting read.
00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:34.480
You have heard that it is said this love your neighbour and hate your enemy.
00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:40.160
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
00:07:40.399 --> 00:07:41.839
That takes courage.
00:07:42.399 --> 00:07:43.360
It's massive courage.
00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:47.439
It's a massive area, massive courage that takes.
00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:54.480
So the one that is bringing confrontation, the one that is bringing conflict, what do I do?
00:07:54.639 --> 00:07:56.240
Do I give them a bit of an iding?
00:07:56.399 --> 00:07:57.759
Give them a bit of a beating?
00:07:57.920 --> 00:08:00.240
I have to show unconditional love.
00:08:00.560 --> 00:08:04.639
The thing is, Ben, we have to deal with it uh wisely.
00:08:04.959 --> 00:08:09.680
Wisely, and and the thing is, instant gratification gets you nowhere, doesn't it?
00:08:10.160 --> 00:08:14.879
So you might you might end up getting a wallop in yourself if you went down that route.
00:08:14.959 --> 00:08:15.120
Do you know?
00:08:15.439 --> 00:08:18.800
Well, I've had that old DMA, don't bring their memories back, Jesus.
00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:22.160
But because I take it on in my own strength.
00:08:22.399 --> 00:08:23.439
In your own strength.
00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:28.240
And it's no good being in the boxing ring and you've got a you've got someone coming at you.
00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:29.759
No one wins an argument, do you?
00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:31.040
No one, no one can win.
00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:32.080
No one can win.
00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:38.960
But when the scripture comes in and it says, love your neighbour and hate your enemy, hang on a minute.
00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:42.960
That's but Jesus says, But I tell you, I tell you.
00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:46.159
So this is a clear cut commandment.
00:08:46.320 --> 00:08:50.399
I'm telling you, Ben, love your enemies.
00:08:50.639 --> 00:08:51.759
But Lord, have you seen them?
00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:53.519
I created your enemies.
00:08:54.799 --> 00:08:57.039
I put your enemies into being.
00:08:58.000 --> 00:09:01.840
I chose your enemies.
00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:03.600
I've got to be careful how I word this.
00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:14.879
And in the Old Testament text, in the book of Exodus, we've referenced this before, and it clearly says, I will be an enemy to your enemies.
00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:21.120
So what I have to do is I have to operate my life in unconditional love.
00:09:21.360 --> 00:09:35.519
If I'm not in unconditional love, I will jump into that arena, I will deal with everything with me because my anger, my frustration, my temper, my ability and strength will cause more damage.
00:09:35.919 --> 00:09:36.879
See, this ain't easy.
00:09:37.039 --> 00:09:38.159
None of this is easy.
00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:44.240
This this takes absolute strength and courage to be able to do this.
00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:56.240
And people would say, in the world, because we live in an upside down kingdom, people in the world would go, No, you've got to do this, you've got to do that, you've got to tell them how it is, you've got to you know sort them out.
00:09:56.720 --> 00:10:03.679
But in our world, no, no, we find strength in in other areas.
00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:07.039
And look what he says in in Proverbs 16:7, Ben.
00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:13.120
It says, When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies be at peace with him.
00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:16.799
Look at that beautiful, beautiful scripture that's come on, Lord.
00:10:16.879 --> 00:10:24.080
This is when a man's ways please the Lord, so if your ways please the Lord, he'll make your enemies be at peace with you.
00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:31.919
Now we're coming back to the Garden of Gethsemane because of that line that the King of Glory said, Not my will, you'll be done.
00:10:32.159 --> 00:10:48.960
Not my so the will, so when I'm in his will, it says there, Simon has referenced uh chapter 16, verse 7, when the Lord takes pleasure in anyone's ways, in but the ways we're referring to are his ways, a heart after him.
00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:51.519
So I have to be in him.
00:10:51.759 --> 00:10:58.000
Now there is a difference between being in him and living for him, but my heart is is focused.
00:10:58.080 --> 00:10:59.360
My heart is for God.
00:10:59.759 --> 00:11:06.480
So God will get his glory, God will vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.
00:11:06.720 --> 00:11:10.080
In the book of Ephesians it talks about spiritual warfare, doesn't it?
00:11:10.320 --> 00:11:19.039
Because our battle isn't against flesh and blood, but against principalities in heavenly realms, authorities, powers.
00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:22.799
So there is a spiritual battle that is greater than the physical.
00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:24.000
That is huge.
00:11:24.159 --> 00:11:26.559
I'll I'll I'll give you uh an example.
00:11:26.639 --> 00:11:45.039
I I I love that Proverbs 16 7, um, and it's worked because you know, um in a past life I was a police officer and did a lot of football duty, and a good mate of mine, Rentnon Baker, he was um uh a football hooligan over the Arsenal, and we were sworn enemies.
00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:57.039
And and and I've chased him all over the terraces and uh try to get hold of him, and um and now he's also a Christian, and we've come together and we do many talks where that's brilliant.
00:11:57.200 --> 00:12:02.240
So we we've used that scripture 16 7, Proverbs 167.
00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:13.440
So we were enemies, but now our ways praise the Lord and now we're brothers, and now people are hearing uh change lives and responding.
00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:26.960
Yeah, two two different lives, two different lives, two different outlooks, two different agendas, but when God saves, God brings God brings your enemies into the same kingdom.
00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:40.240
God brings people in that you would not expect to come in, and they can only come in and God brings them in because of unconditional love, and and I have a responsibility not to pick up the gloves.
00:12:40.559 --> 00:12:45.039
Listen, look what it says in in in Romans twelve, seventeen.
00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:48.159
It says, Repay no one evil for evil.
00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:49.039
That's right.
00:12:49.120 --> 00:12:49.360
Yeah.
00:12:49.519 --> 00:12:52.720
Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.
00:12:52.879 --> 00:12:57.519
If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
00:12:57.679 --> 00:12:58.320
That's what he says.
00:12:58.559 --> 00:12:59.440
Peaceably, nah.
00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:08.399
He says, Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath, for it is written, vengeance is mine and I will repay.
00:13:09.039 --> 00:13:16.639
So he's That's a very harsh and a very powerful, a very direct word from God.
00:13:16.960 --> 00:13:20.720
And then he goes on to say, Ben, if your enemy is hungry, feed him.
00:13:21.120 --> 00:13:27.279
If he is thirsty, give him a drink, for in doing so you will heap coals of fire on his head.
00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:29.039
So it's upside down, isn't it?
00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:30.639
So I'm on a wall win-win.
00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:31.919
It's upside down.
00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:34.159
I've won before I fight.
00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:36.080
But I don't actually fight.
00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:37.759
What I do is I love.
00:13:38.399 --> 00:13:40.480
I love unconditionally.
00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:44.240
What did Christ say on the cross of Calvary?
00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:47.279
Father forgive them for they no know what they do.
00:13:47.679 --> 00:13:48.720
Forgiveness.
00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:55.840
Man, people people out there will you just we just sort of skim over that.
00:13:56.159 --> 00:13:57.200
We just skim over that.
00:13:57.360 --> 00:13:59.759
We literally just look at what he's saying.
00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:02.159
So here we have Look at what he's saying.
00:14:02.480 --> 00:14:06.240
All these they whipped him, they've They've punched me.
00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:07.360
The church punched me.
00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:09.120
He's the church spat at me.
00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:13.759
He he he must he's been a he was a Jew for 33 years.
00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:17.440
He he's seen crucifixions and he knows he's got to go through it.
00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:24.559
It's the separation from him and God, and put him on that cross and he's going forgive him, Lord.
00:14:24.799 --> 00:14:26.720
Forgive 'em, but they don't know what they're doing.
00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:29.440
So forgiveness is a key.
00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:35.120
Forgiveness is a is a is a is a f fundamental point of Christianity.
00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:40.480
If I can get into the position of forgiving, I have no enemies.
00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:43.759
It's because they're not my enemy.
00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:46.080
And and we need to take it a stage further.
00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:59.200
I honestly believe, and and this is hard, it's so hard, and we're gonna do the courage to forgive next week, but it is so difficult because what I'd say, take it a stage further.
00:14:59.279 --> 00:15:04.559
I'd say, like it says in the word, pray and for blessings on your enemies.
00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:06.879
Or for people who have hurt hurt you.
00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:08.320
Come on, come on.
00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:15.919
Now, I believe, I know that there are so many in conflict right now as they're listening back to this podcast.
00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:24.879
I know that there are many men and women that are absolutely screaming from the inside but can't let people know what really is going on.
00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:32.320
There is so much conflict amongst families against the pressures and the political agendas and everything that's going on.
00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:34.399
We have to hold our place.
00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:39.600
But as a believer in Christ Jesus, Jesus has told us, but I tell you, love your enemies.
00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:45.679
As Simon has brought that script about feeding and and praying, and it says, pray for those that persecute you.
00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:46.559
Pray for them.
00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:48.799
Yeah, and and believe me.
00:15:49.679 --> 00:15:50.720
That's the hardest prayer.
00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:57.039
You know, believe me, it's not a formula, but if you can do it with all your heart, it truly works.
00:15:57.279 --> 00:16:02.480
And and uh the level of conflict diminishes completely.
00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:06.799
Conflict and confrontation, it will sew into what?
00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:10.240
It sews into your pride, it sews into your ego.
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:10.799
Yeah.
00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:14.720
Let me give you a scenario and see how you deal with it.
00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:20.879
Um you're due to meet your wife at a coffee shop down in town at the Costa Coffee.
00:16:20.960 --> 00:16:26.799
When you get there, your wife's outside, she's uh she's a little bit upset, she's tearful.
00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:27.840
What's wrong?
00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:37.440
I sat down at a table waiting for you uh to come in, and a guy came with his coffee and ordered me out of the seat, said it was his seat.
00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:40.879
I want you to go in and do something.
00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:43.519
I want you to go in and say something to him.
00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:44.720
There he is in the corner.
00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:46.480
He's a big old lump, he's got his coffee there.
00:16:46.720 --> 00:16:47.919
He's a big old unit.
00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:50.639
Now, it's your wife.
00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:53.360
You want to stand up for your wife, don't you?
00:16:54.240 --> 00:16:57.679
Your pride immediately says, Oh I'm gonna sort this guy out.
00:16:58.000 --> 00:16:58.960
How do you deal with that?
00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:01.600
It's just a a small scenario.
00:17:01.759 --> 00:17:03.200
How would you deal with that then?
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:04.480
Okay, darling.
00:17:04.880 --> 00:17:06.880
Just going inside to the coffee house.
00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:09.759
In the name of Jesus, give me strength.
00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:22.640
So you you are in a position and you've been upset because you're upset because your wife is upset, and you've got to go in and you've got to how do you deal with how do you deal with it?
00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:23.519
How do you deal with it?
00:17:24.400 --> 00:17:25.759
Your wife's been insulted.
00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:27.039
You're a man, deal with this.
00:17:27.200 --> 00:17:27.839
How do you deal with it?
00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:30.640
She's looking to you, she's saying, I want some action here.
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:32.480
Do deal with it.
00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:35.680
Um Lord help me.
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:38.400
You know, he's a big old Goliath.
00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:40.799
If he was wearing your dog collar, that would help, wouldn't it?
00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:45.599
But if say if you still weren't It's a very difficult thing.
00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:49.359
Maybe you know, you immediately you've got to say a little prayer, Lord.
00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:52.960
Straight away, Lord, help me deal with this, because firstly, he's a big unit.
00:17:53.119 --> 00:18:12.720
Um you know so and there are issues expanding from this situation, and help me, Lord, because I'm going into an area that is conflicting, and it's like a David and Goliath situation where you have to go.
00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:14.400
Some things you have to deal with.
00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:18.160
Some things you've got to deal with, because if you walk away, how do I deal with that?
00:18:18.480 --> 00:18:27.599
If you say to her, Oh, look, look, uh let's just walk away from this situation, she's looking at you thinking, No, I want you to deal with it.
00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:28.319
Yeah.
00:18:28.880 --> 00:18:35.200
Go into the go into the shop with her and say, mate, I think there's been a little bit of a misunderstanding here.
00:18:35.279 --> 00:18:41.839
Um you know, that's fine, have your table, but my wife is a little bit uh upset by what you said to her.
00:18:41.920 --> 00:18:44.559
You know, it'd be great if you could just apologize, mate.
00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:46.000
So it's being wise, isn't it?
00:18:46.240 --> 00:18:46.720
Being wise, yeah.
00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:51.680
It's being wise and thinking, okay, I can't act like a Viking.
00:18:52.720 --> 00:19:00.559
I I've I I I've got to be the Chr I've got to be the man that God has called me to be.
00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:05.759
But the world would uh do that in a completely different way.
00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:06.400
Yeah.
00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:10.400
You know, an angry man would go in there, you know, we know what it's like.
00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:13.279
He lose his head and and it's like a road rage.
00:19:13.519 --> 00:19:15.599
It's it's storming, and before you know where it was.
00:19:16.079 --> 00:19:17.599
We're we're in serious trouble.
00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:33.200
You've got to deal with it so it's a classic example of not you being put to the test, but how how do I react as a as a believer in a very tense emotional situation?
00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:42.640
It's uh it's it's my reaction to both sides could be very, very catastrophic.
00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:44.240
But you can't do it in your own strength.
00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:45.119
You can't do it.
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:52.000
So I've got one hand, I have my wife really upset, the other hand, you've got a gorilla.
00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:52.799
Yeah.
00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:55.920
So you've got to go, God, you've got to help me.
00:19:56.160 --> 00:19:58.400
You've got to do it, you've got to help me to diffuse.
00:19:58.640 --> 00:20:00.319
You ain't got time to get on your knees.
00:20:00.480 --> 00:20:03.920
You ain't got time to to get in, you've just got time to go, Jesus.
00:20:04.000 --> 00:20:04.559
I need you here.
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:05.039
You need to be able to do it.
00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:06.799
Give me wise words, yeah.
00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:18.880
Give me godly counsel that I can bring calmness to my wife, peace to this situation, but when I go into the arena, I don't want to black eye Jesus.
00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:19.200
No.
00:20:19.519 --> 00:20:20.799
Okay, can you help me?
00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:25.680
Just give me the words, because I don't want the old testament me to rise up.
00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:36.960
I guarantee you that if you go in with the right attitude, the guy will realise and say, Look, I'm sorry, love, you know, uh I've had a bad morning, whatever.
00:20:37.359 --> 00:20:49.200
He wasn't thinking 'cause he could be on a bad day and so reaction is extremely dangerous if I react in the physical and the natural.
00:20:49.440 --> 00:21:00.559
So I've got to hold my breath a moment, gather my thinking, as in not in my my natural way of thinking, but Lord, how do I deal with this?
00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:06.319
Best case scenario, the Lord will give you the words and and the fellow will go, Look, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.
00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:08.319
You don't have to say much more than that.
00:21:08.480 --> 00:21:19.279
You just you know and you walk out and the fella's okay, he's got his table, your missus is you know, she's seen you've you've made a stand for her.
00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:20.799
It was an issue.
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:23.519
You've you've you've uh made a stand for her.
00:21:23.599 --> 00:21:29.920
You're the you're the white knight on the on the on the steed, and you've taken her out and you've gone to another coffee shop.
00:21:31.119 --> 00:21:32.319
All all good.
00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:40.000
Let me give you another let me give you um uh another thing that happened to my mate of mine, who the rent baker I'm talking about.
00:21:40.079 --> 00:22:02.079
Now he's a he's uh a builder, Brenton, he's uh still uh does a little bit on the tools, and uh he's he's a Christian man, he's gone with his son and he's done some work, done a patio for a guy in um who's got who's got a nice big house um out on a golf course somewhere, and the amount of money That they agreed on was£4,000.
00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:05.839
So they finished the job, he's done a great job, loaded a lovely pattern.
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:06.400
Beautiful.
00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:12.160
Sun's in the car, he goes back, fella comes down, says, What do you think?
00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:14.000
You've done a great job, Brendan.
00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:16.000
Um there's your money.
00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:18.880
He says, There's only two thousand pounds here.
00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:21.039
He says, Yeah, you ain't you ain't getting a penny more.
00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:22.480
That's all it is.
00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:24.000
But I'm two grand short.
00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:28.480
You know, I've had to two two bags of sand short, a lot of dosh.
00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:28.960
Mate.
00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:29.839
It's massive.
00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:36.400
That's Rendon is I need time to think about it, he says.
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:40.880
So he walks out, goes back in the car, tells his boy and his boy says, You're not gonna That'd have him.
00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:41.839
Yeah, you're not gonna.
00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:48.720
Now the old Rendon and I know Testament Rendon would have gone, smashed the patio up, threw the money in his face, gone berserk.
00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:52.160
I'll go and try again.
00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:56.160
So he goes in and the fella looks at him and says, What are you doing here?
00:22:56.319 --> 00:22:58.880
You're like a bit of dirt under my shoe.
00:22:59.119 --> 00:23:00.000
And get away.
00:23:01.680 --> 00:23:12.079
And he's taking a deep breath, and he's gone, he's he's had a little prayer, he's gone back, he's got in the car, and he said to his boy, Look, that's it.
00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:15.839
You get your money, you get your wages, but we're we we're driving away.
00:23:16.160 --> 00:23:20.160
Um and he said, Lord, it's down to you.
00:23:21.359 --> 00:23:24.079
A little bit later that day, he gets a phone call.
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:35.680
Brenton gets a phone call from someone else who wants to give him more work that's given him the money that replaced the money that the guy had taken.
00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:39.519
And God shall supply all my needs according to his riches and glory.
00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:41.279
So he's dealt with it the right way.
00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:48.799
And God has blessed him through being obedient to not jumping into the arena of confrontation.
00:23:49.119 --> 00:23:58.480
See, God will not take the confrontation away, but what God will do, he will strengthen that person in that time that's time.
00:23:58.799 --> 00:24:01.440
I'm not gonna rise up as the old testament me.
00:24:01.839 --> 00:24:05.680
I am gonna lay that down, and Lord, I'm gonna walk.
00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:11.200
Because, Ben, we we got you know, as individuals, we gotta look further down the road, haven't we?
00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:11.759
We have.
00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:15.119
Got to look at the consequences to our actions.
00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:26.720
So there is always a consequence to an action of of any level road rage, anger, answering emails, texts, uh everything, issues at work.
00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:28.079
Issues at work, yeah.
00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:36.480
How do I deal as as a Bible-believing believer, a believer of the God of Israel, a Christian, Christ in me?
00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:43.920
How do I deal with the issues in the workplace that are not godly and it is putting me in a in a conflict?
00:24:44.079 --> 00:24:50.000
There is a conflict between the corporate and the scripture.
00:24:50.319 --> 00:25:07.039
So there is another area that can be very hard for a believer in a workplace scenario when your Bible is telling you A, B, C, and D, and the policies and the structure and the governance and everything else is telling you something completely different.
00:25:07.279 --> 00:25:17.839
So there is conflict all the way through a believer's uh journey, and it is very difficult to hold your place.
00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:21.039
Very difficult to raise the standard sometimes, isn't it?
00:25:21.359 --> 00:25:28.880
And and and say, you know, I'm a a Christian man, Christian woman, and um this doesn't sit right with me.
00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:30.480
This is conflicting.
00:25:30.559 --> 00:25:32.720
This this is It's conflicts with my faith.
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:36.799
My faith is being com I'm not gonna compromise.
00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:55.759
So it's probably easier if you know if you if you're a member of another religion, it's probably easier to go down that religious route as a Christian But as a believer, because Christianity is the one that is being persecuted.
00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:59.119
If you are a Christian, you will find persecution on every level.
00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:08.319
But the church, the religion is trying to disguise it and and trying to push it away because the church won't deal with confrontation, church won't deal with conflict.
00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:12.000
I don't think it teaches the us how to deal with it, does it?
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:25.920
Because we, you know, in our everyday lives we come across this thing, and and you know, I want to uh you know give some advice here from a personal point of view, you know, uh everyone does whatever they you know they think.
00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:42.400
But from a personal point of view, Ben, um give or lend, that's a big it's a big one because as a Christian uh man I've lent money to people and never got it back.
00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:45.279
Now I've learnt my lesson, Ben.
00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:46.559
I'll give you it back that way.
00:26:47.359 --> 00:26:49.039
I've learnt my lesson.
00:26:49.279 --> 00:27:02.400
Uh without going into situations uh what I believe is that if someone wants to lend something from you don't lend it to 'em.
00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:03.839
Don't lend it to 'em.
00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:06.400
The the word lend should not be in your vocabulary.
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:08.000
It should not be in your vocabulary.
00:27:08.079 --> 00:27:13.759
If you if you can afford to, if it's in a possibility, give it.
00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:14.799
Give it to 'em.
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:21.440
A bless them with it, whether it's a whether it's a tool out your tool, tool bag, whether it's a few quid, give it.
00:27:21.839 --> 00:27:24.400
It's better to give than to receive.
00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:26.319
Giving is so powerful.
00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:27.200
So powerful.
00:27:27.359 --> 00:27:39.839
It means giving of yourself, giving of your uh ability, giving of your skills, giving of finances, giving your if someone wants your coat, yeah, let them have it.
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:40.480
Let them have it.
00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:48.480
Because I I've learnt the hard way not to lend, because lend lending uh will cause conflict conflict.
00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:57.599
Because you're always waiting for the fifty quid to come back, and you're always anticipating, and anticipation is not scriptural.
00:27:57.920 --> 00:27:59.440
No, I I g I give you that.
00:27:59.519 --> 00:28:01.759
I give you that, sister brother, it is yours.
00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:02.640
That's the deal.
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:04.640
I do not want this back.
00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:05.119
No.
00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:13.039
I I had a situation where uh a Christian brother uh he wanted to go on holiday and uh a bit of work didn't come in.
00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:17.440
I said, Look, I'll I'll lend you the money, mate, you know, uh and just pay me when you can.
00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:21.599
And then he went off, went on the holiday and um disappeared.
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:24.000
He f he fell off the radar, you know.
00:28:24.079 --> 00:28:31.920
Uh and then a couple of years later he he came back on a radar, you know, and there was conflict.
00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:33.839
There was an atmosphere.
00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:40.240
So I I called him out, we had a meeting, and um uh he gave me a bit of cash and a few checks.
00:28:40.319 --> 00:28:45.440
I said, rip the checks up, I'll take the cash, and and uh and we we've we've moved on since then.
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:46.240
But I'll be right back.
00:28:46.319 --> 00:28:58.880
But there is there is a feeling, there is an atmosphere between atmosphere, and uh and that needs to be really clear that that needs to be dealt with because when there's an atmosphere, it is of the darker side.
00:28:59.039 --> 00:29:01.759
Because God doesn't bring an atmosphere, he he brings freedom.
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:05.839
He brings freedom in uh in conflict.
00:29:06.160 --> 00:29:10.960
What I'd say the people out there, as you quite rightly said, Ben, give it away.
00:29:11.119 --> 00:29:14.240
And we have we have the biblical reference right in front of us.
00:29:14.559 --> 00:29:16.960
Luke chapter six, verse twenty-nine.
00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:22.559
If someone slaps you on the cheek or one cheek, turn to them and give the other also.
00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:28.160
If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.
00:29:28.559 --> 00:29:32.240
Give and you give and you give and you give.
00:29:32.640 --> 00:29:47.279
And and so what's happened since then is that I've had people come round the house, uh, do a bit of work, and yeah, I I I I know they've tucked me up with you know, with a few with a few bobs.
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:53.359
So I don't argue, I bless them, and then probably give 'em, you know, a couple of quid on top of that.
00:29:53.519 --> 00:29:53.680
Yeah.
00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:55.119
So give them a chocolate biscuit.
00:29:55.359 --> 00:29:55.759
Yeah, yeah.
00:29:56.079 --> 00:29:57.119
A cup of tea, yeah, definitely.
00:29:57.359 --> 00:29:57.680
Or one.
00:29:58.079 --> 00:29:58.559
Two sugars.
00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:00.240
But have it.
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:00.880
Take it.
00:30:01.119 --> 00:30:01.440
Take it.
00:30:01.519 --> 00:30:07.839
If if it's gonna Because what that does, that let me just try and put this a bit quick.
00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:12.000
It doesn't bless them, it blesses us because we've got freedom from conflict.
00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:12.640
Freedom.
00:30:12.720 --> 00:30:14.079
It's it's that's the price.
00:30:14.319 --> 00:30:15.359
That's the massive freedom.
00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:16.559
Because we got freedom.
00:30:16.720 --> 00:30:20.880
So when Christ said Father, forgive them for they know no what they do, that is freedom.
00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:32.079
So when when we give, and if I put myself from this moment on and understand my life is to be given, my everything I've got is not of mine.
00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:32.720
It's not yours.
00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:35.359
I give, I give you, I give you it.
00:30:35.599 --> 00:30:36.480
I give you it.
00:30:36.720 --> 00:30:43.839
But for now, if we go into the world of businessmen and women, give your money away.
00:30:44.160 --> 00:30:45.119
Give your life away.
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:46.079
What did Jesus say?
00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:47.759
Drop your next, come and follow me.
00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:56.319
There is a challenge out there for any believer, and it's not the value that you are giving, because really that that's just it's are you prepared?
00:30:56.559 --> 00:30:57.119
Are you prepared?
00:30:57.440 --> 00:30:58.160
Give it with your heart.
00:30:58.240 --> 00:30:59.759
And it's the heart condition.
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.880
And and really don't even if you give a quid, it is a bigger than giving a million.
00:31:05.119 --> 00:31:10.799
Because it's not the lip service, it's not it is the it is the it is the widow's might.
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:15.680
And what I say to that, Ben, also, is don't worry about where they spend it.
00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:17.119
Don't worry what they do with it.
00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:20.480
It doesn't look on social media once you've given it.
00:31:21.119 --> 00:31:22.799
Once you've given it, it's gone.
00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:25.599
So here's the here's the scenario, Ben.
00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:30.880
You you uh do amazing stuff within this church on giving out food parcels.
00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:36.960
You don't ask here well that you don't ask for a layout of income or anything.
00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:37.279
No.
00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:43.440
If you've if you're coming here and you're a a greedy person and you're just taking, well, that's on you.
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:44.559
That's on the person.
00:31:44.720 --> 00:31:45.519
That's on you.
00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:50.640
We are giving it to you with with a with a heart that says, if you need it, take it.
00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:53.039
And the other thing I think Simon is really thank you.
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:56.480
The other thing that's really important is when I give, I do not judge.
00:31:56.640 --> 00:31:57.200
Don't judge.
00:31:57.359 --> 00:32:00.400
I don't look at what they already have.
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:06.559
Because Christ is not looking at them, he's looking at my heart, is Ben giving.
00:32:06.880 --> 00:32:09.920
Judgment is a huge thing, and I think we'll do a podcast on it.
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:11.119
Um don't judge.
00:32:11.359 --> 00:32:12.240
Don't judge, you know.
00:32:12.400 --> 00:32:13.839
Take the judge.
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:18.160
Take the back in the way in your eye before you look at the speck in their eye.
00:32:18.319 --> 00:32:18.720
Yeah.
00:32:19.039 --> 00:32:22.880
So giving has to be unconditional.
00:32:23.279 --> 00:32:29.119
So when I when I understand what giving really is, giving is giving of yourself.
00:32:29.599 --> 00:32:34.640
Because there was a gift, and the gift has been given, the the gift of salvation.
00:32:34.880 --> 00:32:40.480
There was a price, a sacrifice, the blood of Christ, the life of Christ.
00:32:40.720 --> 00:32:44.799
So he gave, God gave his one and only begotten Son.
00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:49.440
So I have been given, I have the gift of salvation.
00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:52.799
So what I need to do is and that was unconditional love.
00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:55.599
For God so loved the world that he gave.
00:32:55.759 --> 00:32:56.000
Yeah.
00:32:56.160 --> 00:32:59.680
Even when it hurt, even when it is, I can't.
00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:00.960
I'm gonna give God.
00:33:01.039 --> 00:33:02.240
I've got to give.
00:33:02.480 --> 00:33:05.359
But I've got to give because I love.
00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:12.079
See, for God so loved the world that he gave, I've got to be in love to have the strength to give.
00:33:12.319 --> 00:33:12.960
To give love.
00:33:13.039 --> 00:33:31.359
It's it it's massive, and and uh man, we need to take time to think about that, but what we're thinking about it, think about that scripture um where um the the the the king was was uh he had a certain guy owed him a certain amount of money.
00:33:31.599 --> 00:33:32.880
Oh yeah, yeah, come on.
00:33:33.200 --> 00:33:40.319
And uh the king was gonna put him in prison, and the guy got down before him and said, No, uh you know, give me time, give me time.
00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:43.279
And the king had mercy on him, gave him time, yeah.
00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:50.640
And then the next thing the same fella goes out and throttles a servant for a smaller amount of money and throws him in prison, doesn't he?
00:33:50.880 --> 00:33:51.039
Yeah.
00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:54.720
Be very careful, be careful because with your demands.
00:33:54.880 --> 00:34:00.880
We should be giving without with a heart that that doesn't judge, with a heart that just goes.
00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:02.079
That doesn't expect anything.
00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:03.680
It doesn't expect anything back.
00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:06.319
You know, because the world expects something bad, doesn't it?
00:34:06.559 --> 00:34:08.719
It the world expects Yeah.
00:34:08.880 --> 00:34:10.400
Would you like a sofa, sir?
00:34:10.480 --> 00:34:16.639
Come it it's come on, sign here, it's free, it's you there's payback.
00:34:16.800 --> 00:34:17.679
There's payback.
00:34:17.840 --> 00:34:18.480
There's payback.
00:34:18.800 --> 00:34:22.559
There's no free lunches, there's no free lunches, nothing is free.
00:34:23.199 --> 00:34:30.239
But there is free, there is a word that sits in the scripture who the Sun sets free is free is free indeed.
00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:44.800
I'm free from the penalty of sin, because the penalty of sin and the action of my sin has been paid for by the ransom of the blood of the living Christ.
00:34:45.119 --> 00:34:52.719
So if I am in Jesus, I should be living like Christ should expect me to live.
00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:58.559
So unforgiveness, pride, arrogance, unconditional love should be at the forefront.
00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:00.159
Should be at the forefront, yeah.
00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:08.639
And when it is, I give, and I don't actually I actually don't realise that I am giving because I am doing as the scripture says.
00:35:19.920 --> 00:35:20.400
From nowhere.
00:35:20.559 --> 00:35:27.760
And and you we can be you can be talking to someone and and all of a sudden bang, you know, you you you're in the middle of something.
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:44.880
And we have to be careful not to react, we have to be careful not to be drawn in to uh to to using uh words that that come out because stuff like that sticks with people.
00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:51.119
So you know, sometimes it's better to say nothing than than react in in a bad way.
00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:55.039
If you've got nothing positive to say, say nothing.
00:35:55.280 --> 00:35:58.880
Sometimes the wisest man in the room is holding who says nothing, man.
00:35:58.960 --> 00:35:59.119
Yeah.
00:35:59.280 --> 00:35:59.679
You know.
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:01.119
And hold your peace.
00:36:01.519 --> 00:36:02.159
Hold your peace.
00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:08.800
And and conflict will always try to get the old man rising.
00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:11.199
Because it's flesh against flesh.
00:36:11.519 --> 00:36:12.079
Yeah, it is, yeah.
00:36:12.159 --> 00:36:13.119
And we can't beat it in the floor.
00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:14.159
And you can't beat it in the floor.
00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:16.559
No, we should say this time and time again, don't we?
00:36:16.880 --> 00:36:19.599
I am more than a conqueror through him.
00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:23.599
I I I can I can lay the old me down.
00:36:23.679 --> 00:36:31.519
I I can walk away from conflict, I can I can leave this confrontational situation, I can leave this.
00:36:32.159 --> 00:36:42.400
The most powerful thing that anyone can ever do in a in an area of conflict and confrontation is just to say God bless and walk away.
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:51.679
Delete the email, delete the text, well don't do the phone call, don't just don't but walk.
00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:53.440
J just just walk away.
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:54.480
Just walk.
00:36:54.719 --> 00:37:00.400
Walking away from a from a conflict is obedience.
00:37:00.719 --> 00:37:03.440
Because the battle belongs to the Lord.
00:37:03.599 --> 00:37:05.440
It is not my fight.
00:37:05.679 --> 00:37:11.519
And and we might say, Yeah, but what I'm not a an aggressive person, but we fight with words.
00:37:11.760 --> 00:37:12.559
We fight with words.
00:37:12.880 --> 00:37:14.000
We fight with words.
00:37:14.320 --> 00:37:20.239
And if you if you are very clever with words, then if you are very Articulate with words.
00:37:20.559 --> 00:37:26.639
Articulate and you you will use words and you will use words to pull people down.
00:37:28.159 --> 00:37:30.320
So words, so James speaks very clearly, doesn't it?
00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:47.199
The book the book of James talks about the power of the tongue, the smallest muscle in the body, but it it is the most powerful and the most dangerous because what we say will affect either I I I encourage someone or I destroy someone.
00:37:47.599 --> 00:37:48.880
Destroy someone, yeah, yeah.
00:37:49.039 --> 00:38:02.480
Because and I you know, Ben, I deal with men all the time that have had stuff said to them and and never got rid of it, and and it's caused problems in all the all the way through their life.
00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:07.760
And a big percentage of confrontation is because of that.
00:38:07.920 --> 00:38:10.079
Obviously, the words have been said.
00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:13.599
So the word brings the trouble.
00:38:13.920 --> 00:38:36.400
You mentioned James uh Ben, and that we're talking about the the you mentioned from the context of the tongue, but look what he says in in one nineteen, he says this, he says, so then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, yeah, slow to speak, slow to wrath, slow to anger, for anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
00:38:36.639 --> 00:38:41.360
Anger, unless it's righteous anger, is is it's got no place in a Christian man.
00:38:41.599 --> 00:38:42.480
It has no place.
00:38:42.719 --> 00:38:45.599
Anger has no place in my heart.
00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:51.440
If anger is living in my heart, I have serious issues, not with no one else but me.
00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:54.559
But you I need God to deal with me.
00:38:54.639 --> 00:38:54.880
Yeah.
00:38:55.039 --> 00:38:57.280
The biggest enemy is the inner me.
00:38:57.440 --> 00:38:57.679
Yeah.
00:38:58.000 --> 00:38:58.480
Is me.
00:38:58.800 --> 00:38:59.360
Yeah, listen to that.
00:39:00.159 --> 00:39:00.559
That's good for me.
00:39:00.960 --> 00:39:08.320
It's really, really, really important that it's not so much I'm looking out, it's that I'm frightened to look in.
00:39:08.960 --> 00:39:22.320
And and what happens when you're frightened to look in if you don't deal it, deal with it in a godly way, you'll come out and you'll attack because you don't want anyone to see the vulnerability that's there.
00:39:22.559 --> 00:39:58.639
And you uh you attack and attack and attack and and don't let anyone see you're winning, but you're not winning because the real conflict is yourself, is to stand in front of the mirror and look deep within one's eyes and say, God, I thank you that I am saved, I thank you that I'm on a journey with you, but I don't like my anger issues because my anger issues um are triggering in triggering unforgiveness, it's triggering conflict because I can be the one that can be bringing the conflict.
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:00.400
Oh, that's a great point.
00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:03.199
Do we ever look at ourselves?
00:40:03.440 --> 00:40:05.920
What part are we do we play in this conflict?
00:40:06.079 --> 00:40:07.679
It's not always the other person.
00:40:08.239 --> 00:40:10.559
Sometimes it's stuff that's me.
00:40:11.519 --> 00:40:12.559
But I've started.
00:40:12.800 --> 00:40:18.480
We've started because I won't lay down what they said about or I want my way.
00:40:18.960 --> 00:40:20.639
I want Frank Sinatra.
00:40:21.039 --> 00:40:23.280
This is this is my show.
00:40:23.599 --> 00:40:24.639
I call the shots.
00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:25.760
I call the shots.
00:40:25.920 --> 00:40:30.880
So when I get into that area, I'm away from his will.
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:35.760
Ben, uh I've slightly because we've got such we've got some time.
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:36.800
We're only got five.
00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:40.639
So, but Ben, you're a church leader.
00:40:41.840 --> 00:40:44.800
How do you deal with conflict in the church?
00:40:45.039 --> 00:40:58.079
And and how would a person deal with you know, they're in a church and suddenly the leaders saying things which we know on are not biblical and not scriptural, how would you deal with that?
00:40:58.159 --> 00:41:00.880
That because that creates conflict, doesn't it?
00:41:02.719 --> 00:41:05.199
So are we referring to sound doctrine?
00:41:05.599 --> 00:41:06.559
Sound doctrine, yeah.
00:41:07.039 --> 00:41:08.000
2 Timothy 4.
00:41:08.400 --> 00:41:19.039
So so what we have here is if a leader is not bringing clear, and I'm not talking away about the way the person lives, because all of sinned and falling short with glory.
00:41:19.519 --> 00:41:21.360
It's the teaching aspect of it.
00:41:21.599 --> 00:41:35.360
If I have to make sure that I'm in a church that is bringing sound, clean doctrine, and there are many denominations and there are many leaders that are not bringing clean and sound doctrine, how do I deal with that?
00:41:35.519 --> 00:41:36.800
I leave the church.
00:41:37.360 --> 00:41:42.880
Would you not confront the church leader in love and say uh you know serious first of all?
00:41:43.199 --> 00:41:57.119
Some some some areas, some some places, but even so if you take it to that a different level, there are some leaders that will not allow you to speak because it is their show and their way.
00:41:57.360 --> 00:41:59.360
So they they will close you down.
00:41:59.599 --> 00:42:08.960
If you've got a leader that will sit with you and allow you to speak and to say, Ben, I I I think you're off the rocker with this a little bit.
00:42:09.039 --> 00:42:15.199
You're and that leader is coming back and saying, I'm sorry about that, that is a that is a great place to be.
00:42:15.440 --> 00:42:24.159
But you will find, I'm afraid, a mass percentage of leaders are leaders not because God has put them in leaders, it's because they're egos.
00:42:24.639 --> 00:42:29.280
So then we have to look at whether or not we stay in that place.
00:42:29.519 --> 00:42:30.559
That's that's the truth.
00:42:30.639 --> 00:42:34.559
And so there is a lot of there is a lot in that question.
00:42:34.960 --> 00:42:54.239
There is a lot, a lot in that, and as as a leader, a leader always will have to sit down and be uh confronted because it goes with the territory, the territory, it goes with the territory, and to be honest, I I literally feel like a punch bag some days.
00:42:54.400 --> 00:43:01.599
I f honestly, I feel that I have it coming from every corner of the world of church.
00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:03.440
But you have to absorb it.
00:43:03.679 --> 00:43:05.199
So you yeah, you have to absorb it.
00:43:05.440 --> 00:43:13.840
You have to absorb it and allow that person to press it on you because they to take it, yeah.
00:43:13.920 --> 00:43:19.280
Well they may not to accept it, but then to just deal with it in a godly way.
00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:20.559
So you've got to be the bag.
00:43:20.800 --> 00:43:24.639
But they may be they may have some things that in areas that that they will have with me.
00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:24.960
Yeah.
00:43:25.199 --> 00:43:26.639
They they there's lots of things.
00:43:26.880 --> 00:43:28.079
But here's here's the deal.
00:43:28.159 --> 00:43:33.440
So uh Ben, I've left ministries um and churches, yeah.
00:43:33.760 --> 00:43:47.519
But so if we're not careful, there could be conflict in actually leaving, you know, 'cause there could be bitterness, there could so what I normally what I've done every time and it's not easy.
00:43:47.679 --> 00:43:55.679
I've sat down with with the leaders of of of the ministries of the churches and I've said that look, I'm I'm I'm I'm moving on.
00:43:55.840 --> 00:43:59.519
I think the Lord's opened another door, I'm moving on, but I need your blessing.
00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:01.039
That's the hardest thing.
00:44:01.679 --> 00:44:02.639
I need your blessing.
00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:03.199
Right.
00:44:03.519 --> 00:44:05.920
Simon has just opened the gateway.
00:44:06.639 --> 00:44:09.360
To a very interesting subject.
00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:16.719
If you are under a leader that is in sound doctrine, that leader will say this.
00:44:17.519 --> 00:44:18.079
Amen.
00:44:19.599 --> 00:44:20.239
Go out.
00:44:20.719 --> 00:44:22.480
Go out and spread your wings.
00:44:22.639 --> 00:44:23.599
I will support you.
00:44:23.679 --> 00:44:24.880
I will pray for you.
00:44:25.119 --> 00:44:26.880
I will encourage you.
00:44:27.280 --> 00:44:30.639
Because it's not about the the man's ministry.
00:44:35.599 --> 00:44:37.840
They're leaving, go, good riddance bye.
00:44:38.159 --> 00:44:40.800
Or if they're not gifted anyway, they're a hindrance to me.
00:44:41.760 --> 00:44:54.000
What if you will you will measure, you will see the level that that the man or the person is that are leading that church by by that one line that comes to you.
00:44:54.079 --> 00:44:57.599
You get the text, you get the phone call, uh, Pastor, can I come and see you?
00:44:57.840 --> 00:44:59.039
Yes, certainly.
00:44:59.199 --> 00:45:01.599
Um I feel the Lord is moving us on.
00:45:01.920 --> 00:45:09.519
The way the pastor and leader speaks to the next line is the level that they're at.
00:45:10.320 --> 00:45:15.039
Because to be honest with you, Ben, I uh Because the church is not their church.
00:45:15.199 --> 00:45:17.119
No, it's not their church, and it's the kingdom.
00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:20.159
And what I'd say to people is never close a door.
00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:22.800
Never close the door, never close that that door.
00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:25.599
If the Lord's closed it for you, then that's fine.
00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:29.280
But leave on leave on on God's terms.
00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:33.039
But what you will find, religion will want to hang on to you.
00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:38.800
Religion will stand at the door on a Sunday and go, I just want to write where where was your last Sunday?
00:45:39.280 --> 00:45:41.119
I I I didn't see you come in.
00:45:41.760 --> 00:45:52.639
When leaders are clocking you in and out of the building and they know what time you was in and when you was last next, they're not interested in your salvation and your edification in the word of God.
00:45:52.719 --> 00:45:55.440
They're interested in building bums on seats.
00:45:56.400 --> 00:46:15.599
They're we're in a kingdom, and a spiritual leader that is biblically trying, I'll say trying, because there is no leader on planet earth that is living and correctly and absolutely bang on point with this because we just can't, but we try.
00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:25.920
So what I'm saying is you will know a true leader by the way that he he allows that person to flourish even within the ministry in the church.
00:46:26.159 --> 00:46:38.000
If someone comes to you and says, Look, I believe God has gifted me, God is calling me uh to this, the reaction of that leader will tell you where that person is in Christ Jesus.
00:46:38.239 --> 00:46:38.719
Definitely.
00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:43.039
Because that leader should say, I'm gonna put my arm around you, and this is great.
00:46:43.199 --> 00:46:44.239
And we're gonna try.
00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:47.599
And if if it goes wrong, it goes wrong.
00:46:47.760 --> 00:46:48.960
If it goes right, it goes right.
00:46:49.039 --> 00:46:55.360
But I am gonna support you, and I I believe that God is dropped that seed in your spirit.
00:46:55.679 --> 00:47:01.280
What I've what I've found is that when I've done that, I've put it on the leaders to bless me.
00:47:01.519 --> 00:47:23.360
They've they've had to they've had to because it all of a sudden it's going against God's God the godly way to deal with things, so uh they've they've blessed me, and and in certain cases, you know, I've been able to move back, go back with these these guys, do some work with them, because I've left under their blessing.
00:47:23.519 --> 00:47:23.920
Yeah.
00:47:24.400 --> 00:47:29.280
Um really it will show but there is there is a difference.
00:47:29.519 --> 00:47:31.440
See, we can all speak it.
00:47:32.159 --> 00:47:34.800
So okay, Simon, thank you for your time in the church.
00:47:34.880 --> 00:47:37.119
Yeah, we we we will give you our blessing.
00:47:37.360 --> 00:47:50.400
But lip service, you you will see, you will see as you have seen if that person has really blessed you because they will they will welcome you in any second because this is on them, man.
00:47:50.639 --> 00:47:51.119
It's on them.
00:47:51.360 --> 00:47:54.079
So you you put it back into their colours, exactly.
00:47:54.480 --> 00:47:56.000
You've put it back into them.
00:47:56.480 --> 00:48:17.119
So the the it sits with the leader, and what's really really clear here is that leaders are so swift with their lips to speak, but their actions as in welcoming, releasing, walking, that is that is the tester.
00:48:17.440 --> 00:48:18.559
It's a big tester, yeah.
00:48:18.800 --> 00:48:23.360
Ben, uh when I'm looking at the time and with this aga yet again, we're Yeah again.
00:48:23.440 --> 00:48:27.199
We've we've all and we haven't we've we haven't really done dealt with time.
00:48:27.440 --> 00:48:29.199
We only scratch the surface, really, don't we?
00:48:29.440 --> 00:48:31.760
We haven't been in uh conflict with the family.
00:48:31.840 --> 00:48:32.800
We haven't spoken about that.
00:48:33.039 --> 00:48:34.559
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
00:48:34.800 --> 00:48:55.440
We haven't spoke about you know harsh words run deep and and we haven't spoke about real conflict in email and social media and and bullying across the socials and how easy it is in in with in an email just to misread an email or misinterpret an email or a text from someone.
00:48:55.519 --> 00:49:00.719
Uh we haven't dealt with that either, so maybe we need to spend a bit more time in this area.
00:49:00.880 --> 00:49:01.440
What do you think, Ben?
00:49:01.840 --> 00:49:08.000
I think we'll we'll stay in it, and I think the scripture that comes to my mind, the conflict in family, is Joseph.
00:49:08.239 --> 00:49:10.639
Dad's give me this beautiful tunic, brothers.
00:49:10.719 --> 00:49:11.519
What do you think?
00:49:11.760 --> 00:49:13.119
We're gonna kill you.
00:49:14.719 --> 00:49:16.239
But but that's harsh, isn't it?
00:49:16.320 --> 00:49:16.960
A bit harsh, Ben.
00:49:17.199 --> 00:49:19.440
But he's only give me this fluffy jumper.
00:49:19.679 --> 00:49:22.960
He's only he's only he's only just look what dad's given me, brothers.
00:49:23.039 --> 00:49:25.920
Look, look, look, Reuben, get your brother.
00:49:26.159 --> 00:49:26.639
You're gonna.
00:49:27.760 --> 00:49:28.559
Do you know what?
00:49:28.800 --> 00:49:31.840
Conflict in families it's enormous.
00:49:32.000 --> 00:49:32.719
It's absolutely enormous.
00:49:34.719 --> 00:49:38.079
I think we will do because the scaffolders are ranging through the window.
00:49:38.320 --> 00:49:42.079
And you've got an awful lot to say on this because oh my days.
00:49:42.400 --> 00:49:46.239
So much experience, I mean, please the Lord.
00:49:46.480 --> 00:49:48.400
God give me strength.
00:49:48.880 --> 00:49:55.519
Well, call it a day here because we're already at 50 minutes and we could go on for another fifty minutes.
00:49:55.760 --> 00:49:58.320
Actually, I've got to get down to coffee shop and give him an iding.
00:49:59.840 --> 00:50:01.280
Simon, you know what?
00:50:01.440 --> 00:50:03.440
I love you with all my heart, my friend.
00:50:03.599 --> 00:50:06.159
And we love every one of you out there because we really do.
00:50:06.400 --> 00:50:06.960
Yeah, we do.
00:50:07.599 --> 00:50:08.159
We really do.
00:50:08.400 --> 00:50:10.159
And we just want to encourage you.
00:50:10.400 --> 00:50:12.880
We want to just let you know that God loves you.
00:50:13.039 --> 00:50:21.440
God will God is with you in your conflict, God is with you in your trouble, God is with you in every area of life, and we just want you to never give up.
00:50:21.599 --> 00:50:21.920
Simon.
00:50:22.320 --> 00:50:27.119
Ben, yeah, we just want to say to everyone out there, don't forget this is hashtag Christian Straight Talk.
00:50:27.199 --> 00:50:28.000
And don't forget the book.
00:50:28.079 --> 00:50:29.280
Don't forget the book's out.
00:50:29.360 --> 00:50:32.159
It's uh Men's Talk is the first book it's out.
00:50:32.239 --> 00:50:38.800
It's out on Amazon, it's$8.99, and it's worth every penny because there's some great stuff in there.
00:50:38.880 --> 00:50:40.719
We've got some great feedback already.
00:50:40.800 --> 00:50:43.199
We've already got the second book which is on fear.
00:50:43.599 --> 00:50:46.159
That's that's being worked on right as we speak.
00:50:46.320 --> 00:50:57.360
So um don't forget that keep us in your prayers, please, and uh and and and lift us up because uh we're touching some subjects which are really frontline stuff.
00:50:57.440 --> 00:51:00.800
So um straight down the barrel of the tooth, hashtag Christian Straight Talk.
00:51:00.880 --> 00:51:01.760
God bless you all.
00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:05.039
Thank you for your for listening, and we'll see you again next time.
00:51:05.280 --> 00:51:05.760
Amen.
00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:11.599
And just to round that off, you can catch us on Spotify, you know, Buzz Sprout, all the social platforms.
00:51:11.760 --> 00:51:13.119
Please share this stuff out.
00:51:13.199 --> 00:51:18.719
Yes, Simon said, you've been listening to me, Reverend Ben Cooper and Simon Pinchbeck at hashtag Christian Straight Talk.
00:51:18.800 --> 00:51:23.039
Have a great day, and remember the battle belongs to the Lord in Jesus' name.
00:51:23.679 --> 00:51:24.320
Amen.