Be Better!!!

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You're listening to Excellence Above Talent, a podcast where we have the hard conversations about the lives of men and what leads us to achieve greatness and suffer defeat.
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Hear from other men's journeys as well, as we all learn and grow together to become inspirations to ourselves and those around us.
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And now your host, Aaron Thomas.
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Man, so been working on myself, trying to figure out life, uh, because it's not easy moving to a different state, essentially changing careers, uh finding a job while also trying to stay sane, uh, trying to be the best husband I can possibly be, trying to be the best man I can possibly be.
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And it has its ups and downs.
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Uh, every day is different, every day is beautiful because I have a chance to fight through what I'm going through.
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But some days I'm over it, and then some days I'm motivated and ready to run through walls, and that's just life the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows, you know, trying to figure it out, trying to make it happen.
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One thing I feel like in this season, God is working on me with is being more consistent and staying in his word.
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Because in his word, he can show me things and tell me things about myself that could make me better for his people.
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So there are two things that I feel that God has been working on me with here in California.
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And the first thing is I feel like a butterfly in a cocoon.
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I'm stuck, I'm trying to figure out what's next, what's going to happen.
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I'm being developed.
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And a lot of times, people who are being developed don't like the feeling of being developed.
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They say they want to be better or they want to work out more or read the Bible more, but to put it into practice, to put it into action is something very different.
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And so I'm in this season where I think I know what I want, and God is saying, Let me hone you, let me shape you, let me make you to the person I need you to be for the people that need you in this world.
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And in doing research, you realize that if you help a butterfly out of its cocoon, that butterfly is essentially dead because it didn't have the correct struggle getting out of the cocoon to fly.
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So apparently there's some liquid in the cocoon when the butterfly is being formed.
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And the struggle of trying to push the cocoon open is what helps the butterfly strengthen its wings so that when it opens a cocoon, it can fly.
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But if you help that butterfly open up the cocoon, yes, it's open, but that butterfly is dead because it cannot fly.
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Its wings are so weak that it essentially dies a couple of days after you you helped it out of its cocoon.
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And this is kind of how I feel right now.
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And what God is trying to help me with and show me is to be still, to be patient, to be courageous in the weight, regardless of how you feel or how you think other people feel.
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You have to make, he's gonna make the best choice and decision for you.
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And you have to trust that with all of your heart.
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And that has been the battle for me.
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Because as a man, you make the assumption that you have to always carry that burden, have a job, you know, figure things out.
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And in this process, Gianni's the only one who has a job.
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It's paying the bills.
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We're not struggling for food or traveling or going out.
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We're not we're not struggling for anything, but here I am still sitting like in a funk because I'm frustrated that I haven't found a job or that things haven't gone the way I thought they should go.
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And I'm struggling and I'm fighting mentally and spiritually.
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And God is just saying, wait, that struggle is going to help you in the long run strengthen yourself.
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So when you do go out, or do when you do get a job, there there will be a better understanding of like what's going on.
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And the job that God has for me is very specific.
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It's just not going to be no random nilly-willy job.
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Even though I have applied for over 250 jobs here in California, and when I say 250, like I it's it's it's 250.
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I've applied at being a dog walker for somebody's dog, babysitting.
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Bruh, I just need a job.
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But God is saying, wait, there's something more that I'm trying to build in you.
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And you can get so frustrated in what you don't have that you also don't build what God is trying to give you.
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So I could be not reading my word and not trying to pray and not trying to get closer to God to understand what this is, what this means.
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And then when the time does come, he can't give you what it is that he tried to prepare you for.
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So in my preparation season, understanding that, I'm being prepared for something bigger and better.
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And it's okay just to relax and allow God to do what God does.
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That's one of the one things God has been working on me.
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And another thing that he brought to my attention, so in Ephesians 4 and 32, it says, Be kind and helpful to one another, tenderhearted, compassionate, and understanding, forgiving one another, readily and freely, just as God and Christ also forgave you.
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No, that was the amplified version.
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The NIV version is be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you.
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And this is the message version.
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Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk.
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Be gentle with one another, sensitive, forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
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And God has been working on my pettiness because I am an extremely petty person.
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I I could wait years to try to get you back.
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I could wait years to try and stunt on you to make you see what you should have what you should have saw years ago.
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Super petty.
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But in that pettiness, you start to cage yourself because I'm a I'm a believer in energy, and we have a certain amount of energy each and every day.
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And if my energy is focused on getting people back, showing people who I really am, and there's like five or six people that I'm using that energy on, that I'm waiting for to get my get back, then that's all that energy that I'm losing on loving and forgiving and making myself better for the people that surround me in my life.
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So learning how to forgive freely, thoroughly, quick quickly, so that I'm not holding on to this, the pettiness of my get back, which is also hard because in my life, people have overlooked me, undermined me, didn't think I was enough, wasn't cool enough, and so you you notch these these people that you've had contact with, and it motivates you.
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I'm gonna show you, I'm gonna show you.
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But in the end, even if you do show them, what happens afterwards?
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All that energy, all that effort into showing someone who one doesn't even care.
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They're just in a comparison with you, and they look at you and say they have to be better than you.
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And so they treat you that way.
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Doesn't mean it's real or it's right.
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That's just it that's the feeling.
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That's how they feel, and that's okay.
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I can still love you and not be petty to show you stupid.
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I am that guy, I've been that guy, I will always be that guy.
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And you comparing me to you, it's not even close.
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That was the flesh.
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But a lot of people, yeah, they they just have that comparison.
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They they feel like they they have to be better than you because they see you, um, I guess how you look and what you do and how you hold yourself, how you speak, and that it's like I'm better than that.
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And so they have their opinions and they form them, and then you know, they treat you accordingly, which is their problem, not yours.
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So you don't have to fight that.
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You have to love them.
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If they hurt you or did wrongdoing, forgive them and go on about your life.
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Um, in a season where I'm realizing that my energy and where it flows matters a lot, and I've known that, but my pettiness has kept me in a cage where I can't be fully myself because I'm trying to figure out ways to get people back.
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As petty as possible.
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I could probably get people back, but I'm looking for like that grandiose got them, and that's just energy wasted on a connection with God, on a connection with myself, on a connection with my wife, on a connection with the God, the people that God put in my life.
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And that's something that I'm working on and struggling through.
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Um, but there's just there's beauty in it.
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That's just what life is all about.
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Struggling through to try to figure out the best way to be the best possible version of yourself, especially as a man.
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So if anyone hasn't told you today that they love you, let me be the first to say I love you.
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You're awesome, you're amazing.
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You deserve the best that this world has to offer.
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Do not give up, do not quit.
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The world does not get easier, you get stronger.
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Bye-bye.
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Thank you for listening.
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And remember, keep moving forward, never give up, and you are never alone in this battle.
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We'll see you next time.