Robert Firestein
00:00:00I'm throwing my life away.
Robert Firestein
00:00:01I'm considering myself revolutionary.
Robert Firestein
00:00:03How I'm going to change the world by violence.
Robert Firestein
00:00:06But I'm doing nothing but destroying myself.
Robert Firestein
00:00:10And this society doesn't care.
Robert Firestein
00:00:11They'll crumple you up and throw you away.
Robert Firestein
00:00:14It's just building a bridge back to yourself.
Robert Firestein
00:00:19You're no longer at the mercy of outer authorities, either other people or even your own ego and your own fears.
Robert Firestein
00:00:26When you see somebody really begin to live their life being true to themselves, it gives you peace.
Robert Firestein
00:00:32It gives you a sense of inner joy that's incomparable to the joys that come from those more surface level achievements.
Todd
00:00:53All right, welcome to the Evolving Potential podcast.
Todd
00:00:56This is episode number 25.
Todd
00:00:58Today I have on the show Robert Firestein, better known as See Gong for his roles as Kung Fu Master, 9th degree, black belt, spiritual teacher, writer, and he's been retired from successfully owning and operating multiple training studios.
Todd
00:01:14Sigong is now on an adventure recently moving from Portugal to Spain.
Todd
00:01:19And he now speaks and writes about the concepts that he explored through his training, through his Universal School of Self, where he studied under a grandmaster for 38 years, including concepts such as world religions, philosophy, physics, meditation, breathwork, healing techniques, physical development, and self expression.
Todd
00:01:40I'm grateful to have him on the show and honored to see how we can connect the concepts with everyday lives of high achievers who may be stuck in a rut or transitioning into a different career.
Todd
00:01:50So thank you for being here, Sigong.
Robert Firestein
00:01:52Thank you, Todd.
Robert Firestein
00:01:53Thank you for having me.
Robert Firestein
00:01:55Happy to be here and thank you for the introduction.
Robert Firestein
00:01:58I was like, wow.
Todd
00:02:02That'S you, man.
Todd
00:02:02You did it.
Todd
00:02:03You did it, not me.
Robert Firestein
00:02:04That's my life.
Todd
00:02:06And so it's cool that just to say, first of all, you know, shout out to, to our friend, our dear friend, Mary Lee, who's.
Todd
00:02:14I said dear friend, like she's dead or something.
Todd
00:02:15I don't know.
Todd
00:02:16I said it like that.
Todd
00:02:16But so she's connected us.
Todd
00:02:19And during his training and owning these schools, he trained someone that I've, I worked with recently, who's now become a therapist.
Todd
00:02:26She's doing great, doing awesome.
Todd
00:02:28So she has talked nothing but amazing things about you.
Todd
00:02:31And I've seen nothing but amazing things come from her.
Todd
00:02:35And so I can only imagine, you know, the time and effort that it took for you to become that level of a master and instructing and affecting lives in such a way.
Todd
00:02:44So that is what I would love to, you know, kind of hear about and extract from you, if you will, some of your mindsets around you know kung fu, you know, your beliefs about what martial arts are, you know, and how to overcome some of the things that everyday person is going to be dealing with in life.
Todd
00:03:00So I'm curious about your intro into kung fu.
Todd
00:03:03I know there's an interesting story there.
Todd
00:03:04So can we start?
Todd
00:03:05Can we start there?
Robert Firestein
00:03:07Yeah.
Robert Firestein
00:03:08Let me begin halfway in the middle of my story and where I actually got the spark to begin my kung fu training.
Robert Firestein
00:03:20So let me just say briefly that I was born to parents who were drug addicts.
Robert Firestein
00:03:26And though they loved me very much, they couldn't really take care of me because they were addicted to heroin.
Robert Firestein
00:03:33So the first part of my life, the first years of my life, I was neglected.
Robert Firestein
00:03:38I came to.
Robert Firestein
00:03:38It came to a point where my mother tried to commit suicide.
Robert Firestein
00:03:42She knew that she was in trouble and that we were in trouble.
Robert Firestein
00:03:46So she gave my brother and I away to a foster home.
Robert Firestein
00:03:50And in the foster home, they had the money and the things that we never had when we lived with our natural parents.
Robert Firestein
00:04:00But they also were abusive.
Robert Firestein
00:04:03They beat and abused us.
Robert Firestein
00:04:05So the people who should have been our safety and protection ended up being the ones that were harming and hurting us.
Robert Firestein
00:04:15My mother eventually came back because she went into a live in drug rehabilitation facility.
Robert Firestein
00:04:21She took us out of the foster home and brought us into that, but that turned out to be a cult.
Robert Firestein
00:04:28And so we got this experience of being involved in a program that eventually went to the dark side, so to speak, and was a cult.
Robert Firestein
00:04:39And eventually we left.
Robert Firestein
00:04:41But then we were living with my single mom who was still trying to figure her life out.
Robert Firestein
00:04:47And she got married to someone, but who was an alcoholic and abusive.
Robert Firestein
00:04:53And so I grew up watching her be abused and then wanting to rise up into my power and defend her.
Robert Firestein
00:05:04And eventually I did that.
Robert Firestein
00:05:08But then after I fought off my stepfather and I think that night saved her life because he was choking her, she and I called the police and he went to jail.
Robert Firestein
00:05:20The very next day she went and bailed them out and they were back together.
Robert Firestein
00:05:25So I realized that the problem wasn't just physical.
Robert Firestein
00:05:28It was an emotional addiction.
Robert Firestein
00:05:31And so as I turned the corner there into from the age of 16, going to 18, I became very violent, rebellious, self destructive and destructive to things around me.
Robert Firestein
00:05:46I was angry at the world.
Robert Firestein
00:05:48I wanted to strike back.
Robert Firestein
00:05:50I was involved in a riot, 19 years old.
Robert Firestein
00:05:54And I got arrested and put in jail.
Robert Firestein
00:05:58And while sitting there in jail, I sat quietly for a moment and in the quiet, I heard this still small voice that said, this time it will Be a revolution in consciousness.
Robert Firestein
00:06:14And it just hit me like a lightning bolt.
Robert Firestein
00:06:17And I went, oh, wow, okay, I'm.
Robert Firestein
00:06:21I'm destroying my life.
Robert Firestein
00:06:22I'm throwing my life away.
Robert Firestein
00:06:24I'm considering myself revolutionary.
Robert Firestein
00:06:26How I'm going to change the world by violence, but I'm doing nothing but destroying myself.
Robert Firestein
00:06:32And this society doesn't care.
Robert Firestein
00:06:34They'll.
Robert Firestein
00:06:34They'll crumple you up and throw you away.
Robert Firestein
00:06:37So let me go pursue this revolution in consciousness.
Robert Firestein
00:06:42And at the time, I was working at the public library in San Francisco, and I met three people who intrigued me, who I became friends with and had long conversations with, who also worked at the library.
Robert Firestein
00:06:55And they each won at different times.
Robert Firestein
00:06:57Told me they were part of some mysterious martial arts school.
Robert Firestein
00:07:02This guy who didn't teach to the public, but taught in the basement, which is your basic Mr.
Robert Firestein
00:07:09Miyagi model, you know.
Robert Firestein
00:07:11And as soon as I started putting the pieces together, like, man, that's it.
Robert Firestein
00:07:16That's the place.
Robert Firestein
00:07:17And.
Robert Firestein
00:07:18But I couldn't get an invite.
Robert Firestein
00:07:20And so I just basically started bugging one of the guys and just trying to get him to feel sorry for me and tell him, I went to this other martial arts school and, you know, it's not what I'm looking for, and eventually said, why don't you come down and have a look?
Robert Firestein
00:07:38So the very first night I walked down there, I sat halfway down the steps, because you had to walk down these steep steps in a basement, and it's kind of like low lighting, and they're just out there to the center of a basement floor, you know, working out, out.
Robert Firestein
00:07:55And as I sat there and looked, I heard that same voice say, this is it.
Robert Firestein
00:08:00This is your chance, you know, this is the chance to find what you've been looking for.
Robert Firestein
00:08:05And then the teacher looked up and, you know, told me to come on down.
Robert Firestein
00:08:11And through a relaxed conversation, three things that stood out.
Robert Firestein
00:08:17That he said that first night was the secrets right under your nose.
Robert Firestein
00:08:22We have no limits, and it's a lifetime course.
Robert Firestein
00:08:27And so internally, I was like, okay, there's a sparkle in his eye.
Robert Firestein
00:08:32And one day I want to have that sparkle in my eye to know what it is he knows.
Robert Firestein
00:08:38So that was the beginning of my martial arts journey, and it's what brought me to this pathway of self awareness, self discovery through martial arts training in this particular case.
Robert Firestein
00:08:53But a person, of course, could use any outer medium as a way of learning.
Robert Firestein
00:09:00I feel each thing that we do is a mirror back to ourselves.
Robert Firestein
00:09:04And the question is, are we learning by what we're seeing whether it's a person we're involved with, whether it's an activity we're doing or life itself.
Robert Firestein
00:09:16It's an opportunity to learn and to see yourself and get to know yourself and do one of the greatest things that a human being can actually do but rarely do, which is be yourself.
Robert Firestein
00:09:31We're always trying to be what everyone else wants us to be, or based on our own fears and insecurities and desires, we're trying to become something.
Robert Firestein
00:09:42The first thing they always ask you is, what do you want to be when you grow up and you're a kid and you're like, look, aren't I something already?
Robert Firestein
00:09:51And.
Robert Firestein
00:09:52But then he has been a long journey.
Robert Firestein
00:09:55So that, that just gives you an idea of how I got started.
Todd
00:09:59And so what has martial arts, what does it mean to you?
Todd
00:10:04I suppose as, as beyond, you know, physical fighting?
Todd
00:10:08What is, what is martial arts?
Todd
00:10:10You kind of explained it there, but I'm, I'm curious about your own words here.
Robert Firestein
00:10:14Yeah, of course, if we ask that question, what is martial arts and what is the purpose of it?
Robert Firestein
00:10:21I think it would be similar to asking the question, what is life?
Robert Firestein
00:10:26What's the purpose of it?
Robert Firestein
00:10:28And then of course, in an interview, every person that you asked would give you a different answer.
Robert Firestein
00:10:35So then we're left to go, well, so what is it?
Robert Firestein
00:10:39I think to some degree it has to do with what do you want it to be?
Robert Firestein
00:10:45What's the meaning in it for you?
Robert Firestein
00:10:49What is it that you're looking for?
Robert Firestein
00:10:54So for me, I was certainly drawn to martial arts, but it wasn't really the physical aspect.
Robert Firestein
00:11:06It's always that I felt that there was some wisdom, pathway of philosophy that would help me find my way in this world.
Robert Firestein
00:11:17When I was a boy, I watched the television show Kung Fu with David Carradine and I was just like, wow, you know, it's.
Robert Firestein
00:11:28The only thing that really made sense to me was the philosophy that he was espousing coming from Shaolin Temple.
Robert Firestein
00:11:36And the school that I ended up going to was actually called the Shaolin Temple Institute.
Robert Firestein
00:11:42So being Shaolin Kung fu, it's rooted in history.
Robert Firestein
00:11:47It's, it's patriarch is Bodhidharma.
Robert Firestein
00:11:56So it's a spiritually centered martial arts with the philosophy connected to the movements.
Robert Firestein
00:12:05And that's exactly what I was looking for, which is, how can I use this art that I'm studying to find a philosophy and a connection inside myself?
Robert Firestein
00:12:23It awakens me to who I am.
Robert Firestein
00:12:27Well, coincidentally, if you're going to say that by Destiny by fate.
Robert Firestein
00:12:33My teacher, our martial arts school was not only studying the ancient art of Shaolin kung fu, but also we were engaged in what we called the universal school of self.
Robert Firestein
00:12:45And that's by looking into the mirror of the universe, you see yourself.
Robert Firestein
00:12:50And by looking into yourself, you better understand the universe.
Robert Firestein
00:12:56And.
Robert Firestein
00:12:58And so martial arts could be many things for many people.
Robert Firestein
00:13:03Some people it's ultimate fighting.
Robert Firestein
00:13:05Some people it's self defense.
Robert Firestein
00:13:07Some I want to gain fitness, I want to have more confidence.
Robert Firestein
00:13:13I want to be able to defend myself in my life, which is, of course, very noble because none of this that we're talking about would mean anything if we weren't first alive and if we didn't protect the most sacred gift.
Robert Firestein
00:13:25One of my first principles of our school was life is sacred and should be honored and protected.
Robert Firestein
00:13:33And it is all those things.
Robert Firestein
00:13:35But for me, it's always been a fulcrum to be able to.
Robert Firestein
00:13:41For a human being to find themselves, to gain power and confidence in themselves so they could live the life that they want to live and that they can be themselves.
Robert Firestein
00:13:52And it seems like the most simple thing.
Robert Firestein
00:13:54But I often find that so many people are struggling with themselves, with life, with their relationships, with their work.
Robert Firestein
00:14:04They don't know what to do.
Robert Firestein
00:14:05They don't know where they're going.
Robert Firestein
00:14:07They don't, you know, ultimately know why they're here.
Robert Firestein
00:14:10And as you can see by my story, I faced all those things.
Robert Firestein
00:14:14So I do understand that.
Robert Firestein
00:14:16And then I do have a heart of compassion to reach out to my brothers and sisters who also may be lost along the way.
Robert Firestein
00:14:25And all they simply want to do is to come home to their own heart and be who they are.
Robert Firestein
00:14:31And amazingly, that takes courage to do because as we all know, people are going to reject you.
Robert Firestein
00:14:38They're going to reject you if you're not yourself, but they're also going to reject you if you are yourself.
Robert Firestein
00:14:43So my thing was always, why not choose being myself and get rejected for that and get rid of all the people who don't like me anyway, and then I'll actually have true friends.
Robert Firestein
00:14:54But I only have true friends because I had the courage to be true to myself.
Todd
00:14:59Yeah.
Robert Firestein
00:15:00So the martial arts did that for me.
Robert Firestein
00:15:03And then at some point I went, oh, now I have this power.
Robert Firestein
00:15:09I have this knowledge.
Robert Firestein
00:15:10Let me share it to a whole generation of people.
Robert Firestein
00:15:14And again, shout out to Marilee, because she came in as just an amazing, beautiful young soul who was seeking knowledge and already had a level of confidence and power in herself.
Robert Firestein
00:15:30But then to be able to handle her this toolkit which helped her to find herself and to now do all these things that I'm amazingly proud of her for.
Robert Firestein
00:15:42It was a very reason that I got into teaching and extending and giving the gift that not only the martial art, but that my teacher gave to me.
Robert Firestein
00:15:53And one thing we always say is, you know, you can't keep it if you don't give it away.
Robert Firestein
00:16:00And it's in giving it away and it's actually in teaching something that you actually become bonded to it.
Robert Firestein
00:16:07Right.
Robert Firestein
00:16:08Because you don't know it until you try to share it with others.
Robert Firestein
00:16:12As Zion Stein said, no matter how great you or complicated your theory is, if you can't explain it to a child, you don't know what you're talking about.
Todd
00:16:22Yeah, yeah.
Todd
00:16:23You don't understand it.
Todd
00:16:23Yep, that's too funny.
Todd
00:16:25So.
Todd
00:16:26So I have a question for you about all this because I love your answer of what is martial arts?
Todd
00:16:30And obviously I feel like inherently like that is the most.
Todd
00:16:34If there were a correct answer, that is the most holistic, you know, best answer you could have is, you know, a way of expressing yourself and a way of exploring yourself and, you know, all these different things and making it meaningful to you in whatever way that may be.
Todd
00:16:48But there are people who, whether it's martial arts or any other skill or endeavor that they're working towards, use it as a way to, like, make themselves feel good.
Todd
00:17:01Right?
Todd
00:17:02And so there is an external locus of control there.
Todd
00:17:05There is.
Todd
00:17:05The outside world is.
Todd
00:17:07Is.
Todd
00:17:07Is controlling them.
Todd
00:17:08So they're looking for the achievements in Kung fu.
Todd
00:17:11They're looking for the ability to, you know, be able to do something.
Todd
00:17:15They're looking for the black belt.
Todd
00:17:16They're looking for the recognition, you know, they're looking for the posts on Instagram, right.
Todd
00:17:20So, so.
Todd
00:17:21And maybe that's an entryway into it, and then they eventually lead to it.
Todd
00:17:24And I feel like your school particularly would kind of detract anybody from being that way because you'd be teaching the philosophies, right, Instead of them just like learning moves, you know, because you said they're connected to the philosophies.
Todd
00:17:37Let's say someone's not doing Kung fu, They're not learning these philosophies, they're just learning to fight, they're just learning boxing.
Todd
00:17:43They're just learning, you know, something else, like a profession, a skill.
Todd
00:17:48And it's an externally based.
Todd
00:17:50How do you think that you might help someone shift to an external based motivation?
Robert Firestein
00:17:56Well, yeah, first of all, I think this life is a great opportunity, and it's a great opportunity for every single human being to learn what it is they came here to learn.
Robert Firestein
00:18:11And it's not for me or anyone else to dictate what that is.
Robert Firestein
00:18:17If you're not called to something, you're never going to go to it.
Robert Firestein
00:18:20You're always going to be drawn to what you're called to.
Robert Firestein
00:18:24And in the case that we might say, well, that's not the correct thing, or why are you using this to glorify your ego?
Robert Firestein
00:18:31And why do you use your power to manipulate other people or to.
Robert Firestein
00:18:36To try and compare yourself or to be better other than other people?
Robert Firestein
00:18:41Then I would say that perhaps is a painful lesson that person needs to learn.
Robert Firestein
00:18:48Who am I to interfere?
Robert Firestein
00:18:51The only time that I would be willing to interfere is when the person says, help.
Robert Firestein
00:18:58I went this way and I figured out it's not the right way or show me a better way.
Robert Firestein
00:19:04And that's when the training would begin in our school.
Robert Firestein
00:19:08But for example, and I think partly because my teacher taught in a basement and was not interested in getting a lot of students or being popular, there's no advertising, there's no nothing.
Robert Firestein
00:19:21You met somebody through a friend and then you were still under a screening process.
Robert Firestein
00:19:26Like, it's not just, oh, I want to do this martial arts, pay me the money, come in.
Robert Firestein
00:19:31It's like, no, I'm screening you too.
Robert Firestein
00:19:33You may pick this as your martial art, but does this martial art pick you?
Robert Firestein
00:19:38You may have picked me as a teacher, but I haven't decided yet whether I'm picking you as a student.
Robert Firestein
00:19:43You got to show me you're here for the right reasons and the right motives, meaning the ones that I'm offering.
Robert Firestein
00:19:50And if you're not, then go somewhere else and find those things because you're on a different arc or path.
Robert Firestein
00:19:58But as an example, we, in our style, you might say, we weren't allowed to and did not participate in tournaments or anything that would aggrandize the ego.
Robert Firestein
00:20:16And my teacher told me, the only trophy you're ever going to get is the one that you have in your own heart.
Robert Firestein
00:20:23And so I have to say, as a young man, there was a period where I started fantasizing or imagining, hey, man, I'm pretty good at this.
Robert Firestein
00:20:33I bet I should knock some people out.
Robert Firestein
00:20:35And I even one night thought of, hey, I had this speech I was going to give my teacher about how, hey, there's this tournament, and if I enter and if I win, then it's going to help the school.
Robert Firestein
00:20:47And I'll be the one to uplift the school.
Robert Firestein
00:20:49And this is my noble intention, you know, to, to help you in what you're doing.
Robert Firestein
00:20:55And I think, luckily for me, because my teacher didn't suffer fools, I got there and kind of got a frog in my throat.
Robert Firestein
00:21:04And I go, no, you better not say that.
Robert Firestein
00:21:07But he made it clear in every day, in every way that that's not what we're here for.
Robert Firestein
00:21:15And so, yes, in my then some 40 years of teaching, many young people came with the same aspirations, we might call it, rather call it ambitions.
Robert Firestein
00:21:31Hey, I'm gonna be somebody.
Robert Firestein
00:21:33I'm gonna be a star.
Robert Firestein
00:21:34And it's a natural thing.
Robert Firestein
00:21:36I don't, you know, I didn't look down on it.
Robert Firestein
00:21:39I said, hey, well, come on in, let's do the training.
Robert Firestein
00:21:42But slowly you're planting the seeds and you're, you yourself are being a mirror to them.
Robert Firestein
00:21:51Because what you're really asking is what do you really.
Robert Firestein
00:21:55What are you really seeking?
Robert Firestein
00:21:57Right?
Robert Firestein
00:21:58The reason we're seeking those outer accomplishments that might seem vainglorious is because deep down inside, we don't believe in ourself.
Robert Firestein
00:22:10And so we feel if I can do these things, it will show that I really am somebody.
Robert Firestein
00:22:16And to some degree, we do have to take a challenge and we do have to accomplish something to gain confidence in ourselves.
Robert Firestein
00:22:24But then who's the self that was below that, who still hasn't found what it was looking for after the achievements come?
Robert Firestein
00:22:34People come to that point in life.
Robert Firestein
00:22:36It's like, look at my wall.
Robert Firestein
00:22:37I've got nothing but trophies.
Robert Firestein
00:22:38Look at, I might even have a trophy wife or a trophy husband.
Robert Firestein
00:22:43But how?
Robert Firestein
00:22:44And I have the house, and I have the car, and I have everything.
Robert Firestein
00:22:48But then why am I still feeling empty, Right?
Robert Firestein
00:22:51I thought I accomplished everything that the world said that you needed to accomplish to be successful and be someone.
Robert Firestein
00:22:59But somehow I missed the greatest thing.
Robert Firestein
00:23:02I missed myself.
Robert Firestein
00:23:03Who was the person?
Robert Firestein
00:23:04Who's the person living inside this success?
Robert Firestein
00:23:08And that's where the path then begins for that person.
Robert Firestein
00:23:13I just feel lucky enough to have gone to a teacher who got me to circumstances meant that plan.
Robert Firestein
00:23:21And to help me take the.
Robert Firestein
00:23:23The martial arts as a way of finding and expressing myself, empowering myself, and then to set me up for what my even greater heart's desire was, which would be to lead other people.
Robert Firestein
00:23:38The, the great joy of finding it yourself is that joy times one.
Robert Firestein
00:23:45But sharing it with another human being and watching them find it is that joy times infinity.
Robert Firestein
00:23:54There's no Greater joy than.
Robert Firestein
00:23:56Than watching somebody else get into the sweet waters that you yourself have already found living within yourself.
Robert Firestein
00:24:05And so that's why, for example, I could name many students, but I'm just using Marilee as the reference now.
Robert Firestein
00:24:14When you see somebody really begin to live their life being true to themselves, it gives you peace, it gives you a sense of inner joy that's incomparable to the joys that come from those more surface level achievements.
Todd
00:24:30And so what do you think are some of the things that you have to overcome to really be yourself?
Todd
00:24:40What would someone like, you know, we can't really talk about merely, I can't keep talking about merrily, sorry, but you know, someone who is struggling to overcome these things and really be themselves.
Todd
00:24:52You've had many, many students over the years, obviously, so, you know, pick and choose, you know, kind of example you might want to use.
Todd
00:24:58But someone who really needs to overcome some of these things.
Todd
00:25:03What are the things you've seen?
Todd
00:25:04And.
Todd
00:25:07And I feel like I know what the way that you help them is, so I don't really need to answer that, but I guess, yeah, what are the things that you're.
Todd
00:25:12That you're seeing these people are coming to you with and needing to overcome and really in order to really be themselves?
Robert Firestein
00:25:20Well, ironically, I would say that the greatest obstacle to being yourself is yourself.
Robert Firestein
00:25:35And.
Robert Firestein
00:25:36And so that becomes a little bit of a puzzle, right?
Robert Firestein
00:25:39A paradox, because we come into a world that is not always fair or just.
Robert Firestein
00:25:51We may come into a world where we look outside our window and we might say, what's happening here certainly was the case with me that I looked at the adults in my life and said, they don't know what they're doing, and they're the ones who are.
Robert Firestein
00:26:10Are leading and guiding me.
Robert Firestein
00:26:14Fortunately for me, I never thought, well, I never wanted to conform to what I was being told that I was or what I should be in some cases, being beaten in order to be what I should be in another person's eyes.
Robert Firestein
00:26:32But I always thought, oh, no, that's not the truth.
Robert Firestein
00:26:38They don't know the truth.
Robert Firestein
00:26:40It's a little bit scary.
Robert Firestein
00:26:42But later in my life I went, well, it's up to me to go and find that truth and live it, and it's living in me.
Robert Firestein
00:26:51So.
Robert Firestein
00:26:52But along the way, I had to take on and create a Persona to survive in the world.
Robert Firestein
00:27:00And that self that we create, that is partly what other people taught us we were, and what we partially taught ourselves.
Robert Firestein
00:27:09We were, is a reflection of a series of ideas but we come to believe in it as ourself.
Robert Firestein
00:27:26And the classic phrase is, it's your ego.
Robert Firestein
00:27:29But ego can mean two things.
Robert Firestein
00:27:31In some cases, when people say ego, they mean a certain level of arrogance.
Robert Firestein
00:27:35And that certainly can be a part of it.
Robert Firestein
00:27:40But really what it means to me is a Persona that you've created that you now believe in and hold together by your belief.
Robert Firestein
00:27:49And that person who started off being created because you didn't feel worthy, you didn't feel valuable, you didn't know who you actually were internally.
Robert Firestein
00:28:03So you have to create a Persona that will then go out in the world and get all those things.
Robert Firestein
00:28:11And so this ego self has two things.
Robert Firestein
00:28:18It has fear and desire.
Robert Firestein
00:28:22And the both fear and desire are interconnected.
Robert Firestein
00:28:26In other words, if I'm afraid that I'm nobody, then I have a desire to be somebody.
Robert Firestein
00:28:31If I afraid.
Robert Firestein
00:28:33If I'm afraid that nobody will ever love me, then I have to meet my soulmate and have to find that person who will validate me in who I am.
Robert Firestein
00:28:43So often when a person is dating someone and when they fall in love, they never fall in love with the person.
Robert Firestein
00:28:50They actually fall in love with themselves, which is to mean I fall in love with the person that.
Robert Firestein
00:28:58That I see when you look at me lovingly and say that I'm so wonderful.
Robert Firestein
00:29:02My whole life, nobody thought I was wonderful.
Robert Firestein
00:29:04When I meet this person, we fall in love and they go.
Robert Firestein
00:29:07Every word that comes out of your mouth, every twinkle, every hair on your.
Robert Firestein
00:29:11The hair on your head is just beautiful and magnificent, and we're just basking in that.
Robert Firestein
00:29:19And you say, man, I want to be with this person for the rest of my life because they can make me feel good about myself.
Robert Firestein
00:29:27Well, anyone who's ever followed the script will find out that the intoxication of love wears off after a while and you're actually left with the person as they actually are.
Robert Firestein
00:29:39And then often for people, it's like, really, that's who you were.
Robert Firestein
00:29:43How could.
Robert Firestein
00:29:44How come you were hiding all this stuff?
Robert Firestein
00:29:46I wasn't actually hiding it.
Robert Firestein
00:29:48To some degree, yes.
Robert Firestein
00:29:49Because we put on our best face, the mask of the ego and be who everybody wants us to be and makes the.
Robert Firestein
00:29:57Makes us lovable.
Robert Firestein
00:29:58But when it wears off and they realize you had baggage that now is coming out and they have to deal with it, then I don't love you anymore.
Robert Firestein
00:30:08Or even worse, I hate you.
Robert Firestein
00:30:11I don't know what happened, but how do we get together?
Robert Firestein
00:30:13I hate you.
Robert Firestein
00:30:14And then you divorce, right?
Todd
00:30:16Yeah.
Robert Firestein
00:30:17So once in one of My sessions, one of my students asked in front of the whole class, who said, siong, how do we get rid of the ego?
Robert Firestein
00:30:35And without missing a beat, and not that I knew the answer, I would say more that it came through me was, well, that's the funny thing, because only the ego asks that question, because the ego itself is on this idea.
Robert Firestein
00:30:52I'm going to get rid of the ego, because then I'll be even better.
Robert Firestein
00:30:59And it's actually when you go inside and what it means to go inside.
Robert Firestein
00:31:06For example, in the center of our martial arts, we always began the class with the meditation.
Robert Firestein
00:31:13In the meditation, you enter into an awareness that's beyond your thoughts, it's beyond your emotions, it's beyond your physical sensations and desires.
Robert Firestein
00:31:26It just is simply purely aware.
Robert Firestein
00:31:30And from there, you can see.
Robert Firestein
00:31:34And when you can see, you can actually see the mechanism of your own ego, which is the collection of it, a series of thoughts, emotions, and desires.
Robert Firestein
00:31:48But it's come to be known by you as you.
Robert Firestein
00:31:52And then you can begin to look and like, okay, where's that coming from?
Robert Firestein
00:31:57Oh, that's a fear that I need to release so part of my power can come back to me.
Robert Firestein
00:32:03Oh, that's something that someone taught me.
Robert Firestein
00:32:05But now I'm living off this idea that was never true.
Robert Firestein
00:32:08Let me untangle that knot.
Robert Firestein
00:32:10From the position of the person inside who's just aware, you can begin healing the outer self, integrating the healthy parts of yourself, and begin to awaken to two things.
Robert Firestein
00:32:29I would say who you are, which is this unlimited potential, and number two, okay, now that you found there's an unlimited potential, who do you want to be?
Robert Firestein
00:32:41You know, when I found that, I thought, oh, I can do anything.
Robert Firestein
00:32:46I really do have no limits.
Robert Firestein
00:32:48My teacher was telling me the truth.
Robert Firestein
00:32:50I got very afraid because I thought, I'm going to create the wrong thing.
Robert Firestein
00:32:55I'm just going to use this as an opportunity to aggrandize this ego, this wound itself that now has used martial arts to be somebody in the world.
Robert Firestein
00:33:05And now I'm going to get the power and wait, okay, let me not.
Robert Firestein
00:33:10Let me not create that.
Robert Firestein
00:33:12So I took several years to really relax and to really get to know myself better so that the vision that emerged from my heart would be pure.
Robert Firestein
00:33:22It would be what I call my deepest heart's desire.
Robert Firestein
00:33:27And it turned out that was to be a teacher.
Robert Firestein
00:33:30I went, oh, I found this beautiful art.
Robert Firestein
00:33:33And just to.
Robert Firestein
00:33:35To have found it and to now be a black belt and a practitioner of it, that was beyond my wildest dreams.
Robert Firestein
00:33:42Of anything I had accomplished up until that point in my life.
Robert Firestein
00:33:45And I thought, how much sweeter if I could be a teacher of this?
Robert Firestein
00:33:50And then later, how.
Robert Firestein
00:33:51What if I opened my own school as a branch?
Robert Firestein
00:33:54And also that school could be whatever I wanted it to be, and I could address the wrongs of my childhood.
Robert Firestein
00:34:04I watched my mother be beaten.
Robert Firestein
00:34:06So I opened a program for girls called Girl Power.
Robert Firestein
00:34:09How can you plant the seeds of empowerment in girls that they're special, beautiful, smart and strong, and they don't deserve to be abused.
Robert Firestein
00:34:18So that, like my mother, the.
Robert Firestein
00:34:20The problem wasn't physical.
Robert Firestein
00:34:22The problem was emotionally her not knowing that she deserved better than that, that what she called love was not truly love.
Robert Firestein
00:34:31And.
Robert Firestein
00:34:31And she just never had had a sense of herself enough to stand up and go, I'm sorry, I can't see you anymore.
Robert Firestein
00:34:39I don't deserve to be treated with this disrespect.
Robert Firestein
00:34:42Yeah.
Robert Firestein
00:34:43So I just began beginning dreaming from this place of awareness, guiding my life from this place of awareness.
Robert Firestein
00:34:54Now the ego comes in and it starts to try and get its hands back on the wheel.
Robert Firestein
00:35:02Okay.
Robert Firestein
00:35:02Yeah, that's a really good insight.
Robert Firestein
00:35:04Aren't you proud of yourself?
Robert Firestein
00:35:05You came up with that and you always return to awareness.
Robert Firestein
00:35:09So you can say, I see what you're doing.
Robert Firestein
00:35:12And as you begin to see what the ego is doing and that it's mostly coming from fear.
Robert Firestein
00:35:18And then desire arises out of fear.
Robert Firestein
00:35:22Because I'm afraid of this.
Robert Firestein
00:35:23I desire this to happen because it will answer what I'm afraid of.
Robert Firestein
00:35:28If I'm nobody, I could be somebody.
Robert Firestein
00:35:30I'm not.
Robert Firestein
00:35:31I'm not important.
Robert Firestein
00:35:32Then I could be important.
Robert Firestein
00:35:34If I'm not loved, then I could get people to love me.
Robert Firestein
00:35:37So see how fear and desire are dancing together?
Todd
00:35:40Yeah.
Robert Firestein
00:35:41But then you can just watch them and then you can just say, well, that's.
Robert Firestein
00:35:47That's sweet.
Robert Firestein
00:35:48That's funny.
Robert Firestein
00:35:50Thank you for your input.
Robert Firestein
00:35:52But I'm going to go with this deeper impulse within me.
Robert Firestein
00:35:55And once I knew that, that this self that was aware was the one leading the life, then I was free.
Robert Firestein
00:36:09And the real freedom came.
Robert Firestein
00:36:11Was this is who I was all along.
Robert Firestein
00:36:17It was the spark of awareness that was in the infant, in the boy, in the young man, in the struggling man, in the trying to find himself man.
Robert Firestein
00:36:28I was there the whole time, being aware.
Robert Firestein
00:36:31And then I called this the master within.
Robert Firestein
00:36:35And I turned to the disciple within and I said, thank you.
Robert Firestein
00:36:42Thank you for surviving the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and giving me enough time to find myself.
Robert Firestein
00:36:51For taking me on a path that led me back to myself.
Robert Firestein
00:36:56Because now, at last, I know who I am.
Robert Firestein
00:36:59I can accept myself, I can forgive myself, I can love myself.
Robert Firestein
00:37:04And most importantly, I can be myself.
Robert Firestein
00:37:09And so this major obstacle, and it has to be confronted, and there's no easy magic formula, because I, as this master within, also have a disciple that's walking the road with me to this day.
Robert Firestein
00:37:32It's just that I've learned to learn from him.
Robert Firestein
00:37:37And so as I listen to my fears, my worries, my doubts, the things I'm struggling with, I learn more about what it is to be human.
Robert Firestein
00:37:46I understand other human beings better.
Robert Firestein
00:37:50But also my disciple looks to the master within me when he's struggling and says, help me.
Robert Firestein
00:37:57Show me the way.
Robert Firestein
00:37:58And then I know where to find it.
Robert Firestein
00:38:00Because truly, I am the one who gave birth.
Robert Firestein
00:38:05I am the self that gave birth to all the selves that have been an evolution.
Robert Firestein
00:38:11I know the people say, you know, I.
Robert Firestein
00:38:14I'm remembering my past lives.
Robert Firestein
00:38:15I like, you've had past lives in this life, but do you remember them?
Robert Firestein
00:38:19And it is just something you went through to learn about yourself.
Robert Firestein
00:38:24And when you come from the center of pure awareness, not only are you learning from yourself, but you're learning from others and you're learning from the world.
Robert Firestein
00:38:33The way I like to describe it is at the wheel.
Robert Firestein
00:38:37There's a center, a hub that is still, and everything else revolves around it.
Robert Firestein
00:38:43So the outer tire is where you meet the world.
Robert Firestein
00:38:48It's actually what pushes the world, the wheel, to spin, Right?
Robert Firestein
00:38:52Outer stimuli, how people treat you, what's happening in the world.
Robert Firestein
00:38:56It will provoke fears, it will provoke anger, it will provoke some sense of, I need to get revenge, I need to get back at this person.
Robert Firestein
00:39:05And as it hits the wheel, that what turns is your emotions and your thoughts.
Robert Firestein
00:39:12And if you go into them, you're going to take that ride.
Robert Firestein
00:39:15But if you return to the center, it's still going to spin, right?
Robert Firestein
00:39:21But you're just going to be watching and learning and growing as life continues to happen.
Robert Firestein
00:39:28Everything's not going to happen in your favor, by the way.
Robert Firestein
00:39:32Nothing's permanent here.
Robert Firestein
00:39:35Everything comes and goes.
Robert Firestein
00:39:37Even you eventually will come and go.
Robert Firestein
00:39:40But you learn the most when you bring yourself, the eye back to the eyelet within that's watching its spin, right?
Robert Firestein
00:39:49And so this is what I really love, because I don't need to be anything.
Robert Firestein
00:39:55It's enough to be a human being.
Robert Firestein
00:39:57Yeah.
Todd
00:39:58So can I.
Todd
00:39:59I gotta.
Todd
00:39:59I gotta touch.
Todd
00:40:00I gotta touch on this.
Todd
00:40:01This metaphor you used before.
Todd
00:40:02Before it gets lost, because I'm all about that.
Todd
00:40:05And.
Todd
00:40:05And that was a great one with the master and disciple.
Todd
00:40:08So the idea that, you know, you as this larger awareness that you're connected to, this deeper awareness beyond everything is the master and the disciple is this self that you created to live in this world, the self that maybe some of that's self created, some of that is input on us from other people.
Todd
00:40:29They tell us who we are, they evaluate us, they put labels on us.
Todd
00:40:33Right.
Todd
00:40:33And then.
Todd
00:40:34And as you said, that is.
Todd
00:40:35You know, I've thought about this as a hurricane in the past, you know, being in the eye of hurricane, you know, and as you might describe, it's like shifting around you all the time are these identities that we've created and we're shifting into a new one.
Todd
00:40:47And now we're a fourth grader or a fifth grader or whatever, you know, now we're a teacher, now we're students.
Todd
00:40:53Now we're, you know, into like.
Todd
00:40:54They're all just labels that are always, you know, moving around us as we maintain that inner awareness of who we are the whole time.
Todd
00:41:02Right?
Todd
00:41:04Yeah.
Todd
00:41:04So I love that.
Todd
00:41:05I love that concept so much.
Robert Firestein
00:41:08Yeah, I think it's.
Robert Firestein
00:41:09It's very helpful because, for example, here I am with the name Seagong, Master, Master teacher.
Robert Firestein
00:41:19But I would say there's never an end point of being a master.
Robert Firestein
00:41:24It's about a journey of mastery, which means you always have a level of humility because you're always learning, and you're learning from the outer self that's always exploring.
Robert Firestein
00:41:36Right.
Robert Firestein
00:41:37But once you believe you're that self and that self only in a sense, you get stuck a little bit because the very thing that's learning has been withdrawn from the equation.
Robert Firestein
00:41:47Now, you know, now I'm sending somebody.
Robert Firestein
00:41:50Now I got it.
Robert Firestein
00:41:51Think of the truth as the ocean.
Robert Firestein
00:41:54As soon as you catch it, it's just a puddle in your hands.
Robert Firestein
00:41:58It's not the ocean anymore.
Robert Firestein
00:42:00You can swim in it, you can observe it, but it has its oceanness because nobody can capture it.
Robert Firestein
00:42:07Same with a river.
Robert Firestein
00:42:08If you go by the river, you catch it.
Robert Firestein
00:42:10You just have a little bit of water, but the river flows.
Robert Firestein
00:42:14Right?
Robert Firestein
00:42:14And the truth of ourself actually were always growing into.
Robert Firestein
00:42:21Right.
Robert Firestein
00:42:22And so here I am at this part of my life, and.
Robert Firestein
00:42:28But I'm still a mystery to myself.
Robert Firestein
00:42:30There's still element intervention that still hasn't been explored, that still hasn't been expressed.
Robert Firestein
00:42:37So I'm not trying to get there.
Robert Firestein
00:42:39I'm not trying to you know, yes, we all want to be the.
Robert Firestein
00:42:42The best version of ourself, so to speak, but there's never going to be the end to that.
Robert Firestein
00:42:50And there's peace in that because you'll be frustrated.
Robert Firestein
00:42:53Like, when am I going to be the best version of myself?
Robert Firestein
00:42:55You know, And.
Robert Firestein
00:42:57And it's like, okay, now I am.
Robert Firestein
00:42:59Now I can just rest.
Robert Firestein
00:43:00I'm just going to chill.
Robert Firestein
00:43:02No, because there's always more.
Robert Firestein
00:43:06One of the quotes I came up with in my dojo was airb Horizon game leads to a new horizon.
Robert Firestein
00:43:16So, yes, I hike that mountain, and yes, I see the that horizon, and then I go, I'm going to go over there.
Robert Firestein
00:43:22But as I go and move to a new position, there's another horizon, and there's another horizon.
Robert Firestein
00:43:29So ultimately, the journey is infinite.
Robert Firestein
00:43:32But most importantly, I get angry.
Robert Firestein
00:43:39Anger used to work against me.
Robert Firestein
00:43:42Anger used to be the cause of destructiveness to myself and to others.
Robert Firestein
00:43:47Anger was possibly going to get me killed.
Robert Firestein
00:43:51And I remember sitting down at some point and going, boy, anger, you know, it's not working for me anymore.
Robert Firestein
00:44:01You're, like, taking me to places I don't want to go.
Robert Firestein
00:44:03I understand you and I understand what you're angry about, because there's a lot of things to be honestly angry about.
Robert Firestein
00:44:11But it's just when you do martial arts, you start to tune into your body, and then you start to feel the toxic effects of pumping anger through your system.
Robert Firestein
00:44:21And then you start to go, wow, I'm like, I'm poisoning myself, Right?
Robert Firestein
00:44:26And so my mother taught me because she eventually went into AA and quit drugs and alcohol.
Robert Firestein
00:44:33And she said, before you can quit something, you have to understand what it is, what it's doing for you.
Robert Firestein
00:44:42And so at that point, I said, I think I want to quit anger, but I need to know what anger gives me.
Robert Firestein
00:44:50Yeah.
Robert Firestein
00:44:50And when I meditated upon that, it was, oh, anger gives me a sense of connection, that I still care about the world or I still care about others.
Robert Firestein
00:45:02And I don't want to let that go because it'll mean I'll be apathetic and I just won't care.
Robert Firestein
00:45:07You know, we understand on the Buddha's path, you know, suffering comes from attachment, you know, but then when you really think about being detached, you're like, I don't want to be detached.
Robert Firestein
00:45:20I still want to live.
Robert Firestein
00:45:21I still want to care.
Robert Firestein
00:45:22And so I said, well, maybe there's another quality that could keep me connected, that I still care, but doesn't feel as bad to me as anger and as I reflected, the word compassion came to me.
Robert Firestein
00:45:38And so I said to myself, okay, first of all, anger, my friend, thank you for your service.
Robert Firestein
00:45:51It was probably you that kept me alive.
Robert Firestein
00:45:54It's probably you that kept me going.
Robert Firestein
00:45:56It's probably you that got me to fight back against, for myself, to stand up for myself, often in destructive ways.
Robert Firestein
00:46:03But at least I was fighting.
Robert Firestein
00:46:06And you've brought me here.
Robert Firestein
00:46:09But I'm going to give compassion a try for a little while, maybe a year.
Robert Firestein
00:46:14And if compassion doesn't do the job, I'll hire you back.
Robert Firestein
00:46:19So just please sit down now and I'm going to try out compassion.
Robert Firestein
00:46:24And so when world events happened or something that normally just got me really angry and stirred up, I really saw the suffering that was happening other people.
Robert Firestein
00:46:33And I felt compassion, which keeps me connected.
Robert Firestein
00:46:36And I still want to take action.
Robert Firestein
00:46:38It's just a more measured action.
Robert Firestein
00:46:42But then of course, a person will say, oh, so you're saying, are you totally free from anger now?
Robert Firestein
00:46:48And it's like, no, Anger still comes and goes when it wants to, but I'm just not following it.
Todd
00:46:57Yeah, you're not angry, identified with it.
Robert Firestein
00:47:00Right.
Robert Firestein
00:47:01I'm, I'm learning from it.
Robert Firestein
00:47:03I let it come to me.
Robert Firestein
00:47:04I let it stay for days if it needs to.
Robert Firestein
00:47:07And I see, please, tell me more, tell me more.
Robert Firestein
00:47:10Let's get it going.
Robert Firestein
00:47:11Let's get it going.
Robert Firestein
00:47:12Get it all out.
Robert Firestein
00:47:13Yeah.
Todd
00:47:14Bring it to the surface.
Todd
00:47:15Yeah.
Robert Firestein
00:47:15And then I take the wisdom of that anger and then I apply it to who I am in my decision making.
Robert Firestein
00:47:21See, this is different.
Robert Firestein
00:47:22There's a little bit of danger because I found out what happens in life when you suppress anger.
Robert Firestein
00:47:28And it's like making TNT inside of yourself.
Robert Firestein
00:47:32You're just compressing, compressing.
Robert Firestein
00:47:34And then on the smallest thing, pop and kaboom.
Robert Firestein
00:47:38And they go, I.
Robert Firestein
00:47:39What happened?
Robert Firestein
00:47:40Just.
Robert Firestein
00:47:41I'm just kidding you, man.
Robert Firestein
00:47:44And so that doesn't work.
Robert Firestein
00:47:45That's toxic to the self.
Robert Firestein
00:47:47So what I'm saying is not about suppressing anger, but it's allowing anger to be, but not allowing anger to be me.
Robert Firestein
00:47:57Something that I learned from, not something that I am.
Robert Firestein
00:48:02Right?
Robert Firestein
00:48:03So I had this quote, which is, emotions are great teachers.
Robert Firestein
00:48:09They just are very poor leaders.
Todd
00:48:12Right?
Robert Firestein
00:48:12And so I do have an emotional life, but I don't want it to lead me.
Robert Firestein
00:48:18With the caveat being, unless I choose, you know, the river of life is going by and I can sit on the rock and meditate and watch it go by.
Robert Firestein
00:48:30But if that's all I do, it's not True freedom.
Robert Firestein
00:48:33It's as if I can only be free if I'm outside of things.
Robert Firestein
00:48:37But the truly free person can jump into the river anytime and swim around and really just enjoy the currents and see where it's taking you and splash and play.
Robert Firestein
00:48:46And then when you're ready, you step out and look again.
Robert Firestein
00:48:49So this freedom means I can go in and out, but I'm no longer under the grip of my ego or my anger or the other emotions.
Robert Firestein
00:49:00They come.
Robert Firestein
00:49:01It's like being on earth.
Robert Firestein
00:49:02It's not always going to be sunny.
Robert Firestein
00:49:04The clouds are going to come and it's going to seem dark.
Robert Firestein
00:49:07And I'm, you know, get that feeling there's no hope.
Robert Firestein
00:49:11Now.
Robert Firestein
00:49:11In the past when I got that feeling, I would always say, well, there's no hope.
Robert Firestein
00:49:16Can't see.
Robert Firestein
00:49:17You can't see a ray of sun in the sky.
Robert Firestein
00:49:19It's over, man.
Robert Firestein
00:49:20Like, why did.
Robert Firestein
00:49:21Why did you even do this?
Robert Firestein
00:49:22And all that stuff you were teaching and the self discovery, it was all.
Robert Firestein
00:49:26See, we finally proved it to you.
Robert Firestein
00:49:29But I've been at the game long enough to where this too shall pass.
Robert Firestein
00:49:34And the clouds will move on and the sun, sun will come out away some.
Robert Firestein
00:49:39The sun will come out again and there's that silver lining or that rainbow that makes the storm have been worth it.
Robert Firestein
00:49:47And you continue.
Robert Firestein
00:49:49So now when it comes over me like that, I'm.
Robert Firestein
00:49:52I'm almost excited because I go, oh, okay, I get to learn something.
Robert Firestein
00:49:58It's unexpected sometimes because something hits a nerve of a pocket, a place where unconsciously I was hiding something or not aware of it.
Robert Firestein
00:50:09And the outer events provokes it.
Robert Firestein
00:50:13And then I get to get it up where I can see it.
Robert Firestein
00:50:15And therefore I can then heal and release it and integrate that part of myself that I hid away because of the way I was wounded as a child and reintegrate it into myself, man.
Todd
00:50:31And that's powerful of like being able to.
Todd
00:50:34To get yourself to a place where you've recalibrated, come kind of through kung fu and connected with yourself and then started to notice those things, you know, so that then you could then take on the practice of allowing them and learning from them even more, you know, not like encouraging them.
Todd
00:50:49Almost like, teach me, teach me your lessons.
Todd
00:50:51As you said.
Todd
00:50:52You know, there's a.
Todd
00:50:53There's a guy named Paul Check.
Todd
00:50:54He's a holistic practitioner.
Todd
00:50:55You know, he.
Todd
00:50:56He calls like each of these things that sends us a message, like Dr.
Todd
00:51:00Dr.
Todd
00:51:01Payne, you know, Dr.
Todd
00:51:02This, Dr.
Todd
00:51:02That.
Todd
00:51:03And they all have like these, These Lessons, because we listen to doctors, you know, we take their advice.
Todd
00:51:07And so, like, if there's a Dr.
Todd
00:51:08Anger, if you will, you know, that comes through, and it's like, he's got.
Todd
00:51:11He's got something to teach you, you know, and we really got to listen to that.
Todd
00:51:15And that's, like, really cool for you to overcome that anger.
Todd
00:51:18And I wouldn't.
Todd
00:51:19I don't even know if overcome is the right word.
Todd
00:51:20You know what I mean?
Todd
00:51:21But.
Todd
00:51:21But really come be at peace with the anger and allowing the anger to be there.
Todd
00:51:27And.
Todd
00:51:27And that's really cool.
Todd
00:51:28And.
Todd
00:51:28And I wanted to go back real quick, you know, while I.
Todd
00:51:30While I have the floor to.
Todd
00:51:33To something that you said earlier where I was kind of curious, like, if someone comes in and they want to be a champion, if they want to be a fighter, if they want to, you know, just beat people up or whatever, you know, you said you essentially allow it.
Todd
00:51:44It's like, come in with that, you know, sure, you know, we'll get started.
Todd
00:51:49And then you start teaching them your lessons, and you kind of create that safe space, and you bring in this meditation to connect them to their larger awareness.
Todd
00:51:57And then, as you said, that recalibration happens.
Todd
00:51:59And so it made me think of.
Todd
00:52:01There's a.
Todd
00:52:01There's a gentleman named Yogananda, you know, that you're.
Todd
00:52:04You're probably familiar with.
Todd
00:52:06And so when I was watching his documentary, it was really interesting because a guy came to his sanctuary, whatever you'd call it, and he was like, smoke cigarettes and.
Todd
00:52:14Or cigars, I guess, and.
Todd
00:52:15And drink and stuff.
Todd
00:52:16And he was like, are you allowed to do this here?
Todd
00:52:18He's like, I feel like I might not be able to be a student here because I can't give those things up.
Todd
00:52:23And Yogananda's like, you don't need to give those things up.
Todd
00:52:25And he's like, what do you mean?
Todd
00:52:26And he's like.
Todd
00:52:27He's like, no, go ahead.
Todd
00:52:28He's like, you.
Todd
00:52:29You're welcome to do those things.
Todd
00:52:31You just may find that you don't want to after a certain time, you know.
Todd
00:52:36And so I felt like the same.
Todd
00:52:37Like, that's reminded me of that.
Todd
00:52:38It was very profound in my own.
Todd
00:52:40My own thinking was, you know, you're like, hey, you know, you.
Todd
00:52:42You're welcome to come here, and if you want to do tournaments or you want to beat people up or you want to do whatever, you know, you know, sure.
Todd
00:52:48But you may find that you don't want to do those things.
Todd
00:52:50Once you get started, you Know.
Todd
00:52:53And that's.
Todd
00:52:53And that was.
Todd
00:52:54That was.
Todd
00:52:54Yeah.
Todd
00:52:54Profound.
Robert Firestein
00:52:56Yeah.
Robert Firestein
00:52:56And I.
Robert Firestein
00:52:57The way we started our classes where we would take a period of time to meditate and reflect, I would ask a question and say, then don't answer from your mind, but go into your part to hear the answer that you never thought of before.
Robert Firestein
00:53:14Because if you only go into your mind for answers, you're just repeating what you already know.
Robert Firestein
00:53:18And if you're repeating what you already know, you'll be crazy.
Robert Firestein
00:53:22And also, you.
Robert Firestein
00:53:23You won't grow.
Robert Firestein
00:53:26And.
Robert Firestein
00:53:27But then after the students would answer that question and whether from.
Robert Firestein
00:53:34From 5 years old all the way up.
Robert Firestein
00:53:36I mean, I taught tai chi at the senior center, so I taught from 5 years old to 100.
Robert Firestein
00:53:43But after.
Robert Firestein
00:53:44When the person shared whatever it is, they said I would bow.
Robert Firestein
00:53:50But by the way, whether they said.
Robert Firestein
00:53:52Whether I thought what they said was actually coming from their heart or coming for their ego or it didn't really matter, because by bowing and not answering back and not telling them the answer, they got to actually see their answer more clearly and decide for themselves.
Robert Firestein
00:54:12Wait a minute.
Robert Firestein
00:54:13Do I really think that or did that just like.
Robert Firestein
00:54:16Like you could hear the vibrational tone?
Robert Firestein
00:54:18It's like, I think I was just trying to impress the teacher or they impressed the other students around me.
Robert Firestein
00:54:23It was a really deep answer, but it wasn't actually the answer.
Robert Firestein
00:54:28It's in me.
Robert Firestein
00:54:29And so this, the concept that I would say is a mirror, you know, coming to ground zero of yourself is the greatest mirror.
Robert Firestein
00:54:38And once you find it, then you start.
Robert Firestein
00:54:41You can look into the mirror of everything else.
Robert Firestein
00:54:45And this mirror reflects two things.
Robert Firestein
00:54:48Because we live in a dualistic universe, it reveals who you are and who you're not.
Robert Firestein
00:54:55But those two images, juxtapositioned, are there to teach you who you are, right?
Robert Firestein
00:55:03So by knowing who you're not, you can finally let that go.
Robert Firestein
00:55:07And then by the other going, oh, but this.
Robert Firestein
00:55:10Yes, this is me.
Robert Firestein
00:55:11And that process of using the universe, I think the universe itself creates this as an opportunity for us to learn who we are, then everything becomes a mirror.
Robert Firestein
00:55:27And when it's seen as you're looking into a mirror, it's really a teacher, right?
Robert Firestein
00:55:33And so if you.
Robert Firestein
00:55:34Only if you're willing to look like, hey, I'm a person with a lot of integrity.
Robert Firestein
00:55:38I really am a loyal and faithful person.
Robert Firestein
00:55:42Okay, now you're in a relationship, what does that person bring out in you?
Robert Firestein
00:55:47It's like, no, I love humanity.
Robert Firestein
00:55:49It's just that person over there that I have a problem with no.
Robert Firestein
00:55:52But that person is reflecting back to you, something you still have yet to see in yourself.
Robert Firestein
00:55:58Right.
Robert Firestein
00:55:59And because they agitate you, they become your greatest teacher.
Robert Firestein
00:56:04Because the question is not that, you know, why did they agitate me?
Robert Firestein
00:56:11The question is, why am I agitated?
Robert Firestein
00:56:15And.
Robert Firestein
00:56:16And when it's seen from that perspective, then we don't no longer have to be afraid of the universe because it's working in our favor, the world because it's an opportunity to learn and grow, or our work that we do, or our relationships or even ourself.
Robert Firestein
00:56:36As we say, when in a dark room alone, act as if you're facing a noble guest.
Robert Firestein
00:56:41And I would say that noble guest is you.
Robert Firestein
00:56:48And can you be true when there's no one looking?
Robert Firestein
00:56:52Can you see yourself when there's no one there to see you and become nothing?
Robert Firestein
00:56:58And then you really become something.
Robert Firestein
00:57:01But when you're always trying to be something, you can't truly see yourself.
Todd
00:57:06Yeah.
Todd
00:57:07And so even if you were doing a practicing kung fu and you're like living a normal life and you're a dad and you have a job and now you're practicing kung fu, you know, so where does the line.
Todd
00:57:22This is.
Todd
00:57:22This.
Todd
00:57:22There's no.
Todd
00:57:23This is a difficult question.
Todd
00:57:24But between discipline and of a craft and just like letting go and just being okay with things being as they are.
Todd
00:57:31Because you said as along with fear comes desire.
Todd
00:57:33So what if there's a fear of, you know, not being good enough?
Todd
00:57:38That's.
Todd
00:57:38That's creating the desire to.
Todd
00:57:40To pursue kung fu and be a master.
Robert Firestein
00:57:44Yeah.
Robert Firestein
00:57:45So it's something that we have to face.
Robert Firestein
00:57:52I think throughout my life, early on, deciding to.
Robert Firestein
00:57:57Being drawn to is probably a better way of saying it.
Robert Firestein
00:58:00To philosophy, for example.
Robert Firestein
00:58:04Particularly I read the Dao de chain when I was 19 also.
Robert Firestein
00:58:08And there's like a way and.
Robert Firestein
00:58:13And.
Robert Firestein
00:58:13But it's a softer, gentler way, a way that's more aware.
Robert Firestein
00:58:18And one of the quotes, for example, is doing nothing and yet everything gets done.
Robert Firestein
00:58:29And so when I experimented with it and I did nothing, it's like, well, yeah, it is true.
Robert Firestein
00:58:34Nothing is getting.
Robert Firestein
00:58:38I mean, it's not true because I did nothing and so nothing's getting done.
Robert Firestein
00:58:42So in that it's a little bit misunderstood.
Robert Firestein
00:58:48So I've always wrestled with what we might call self acceptance and then ambition.
Robert Firestein
00:58:58Part of me wants to grow, wants to awaken my unlimited potential as a human being.
Robert Firestein
00:59:05To yes, be a better man in all areas of my life, to be a better husband, to be a better father, to be a Better teacher, to be a better friend, to be a better member of the community, even the world community.
Robert Firestein
00:59:18So where does that balance with self acceptance?
Robert Firestein
00:59:22And I came up with the word aspiration, that there's self acceptance.
Robert Firestein
00:59:31Being at peace with myself and exactly where I am.
Robert Firestein
00:59:34But with my aspiration means I gently follow the vision or calling of my soul and take steps towards it every day.
Robert Firestein
00:59:49And being at peace with myself, where I am and with the steps and what I learn with the steps as they're unfolding.
Robert Firestein
00:59:57The difference between the word aspiration to me is that it's following the guidance of my spirit from within my heart, and it will take me to greater places and I should follow that.
Robert Firestein
01:00:12But in that case, it's not based on the desires of the ego.
Robert Firestein
01:00:19The ego is the one that creates ambition.
Robert Firestein
01:00:23And so the desires are then laced with fear.
Robert Firestein
01:00:27From aspiration, I get a vision.
Robert Firestein
01:00:30And because I found that place inside of me where I know I'm be, I'm out of the clutches of my patterning of thoughts, emotions that tend to take a grip on your life.
Robert Firestein
01:00:47And from there this vision emerges.
Robert Firestein
01:00:51And then I can say, ah, that's it, that's where I need to go.
Robert Firestein
01:00:55Or that's how I can be better.
Robert Firestein
01:00:58Now let me just gently walk it out.
Robert Firestein
01:01:01And this way I'm constantly growing to this potential that's on the horizon of myself and aspiring to it.
Robert Firestein
01:01:10I'm, I'm still doing that to this day, but I'm not caught in the, the, the battle of the ego which wrestles between ambition and how come, how come, you know, you know, you get angry, frustrated and depressed because that thing didn't happen.
Robert Firestein
01:01:27And it's like that's the telltale sign that you're not really at peace, that it's coming from more your ego desire than it is coming from your deepest heart's desire.
Robert Firestein
01:01:41And, and then what people often tell me is, how do I know that true vision or that true voice?
Robert Firestein
01:01:50And it's really by spending enough time, because there's a frequency to both of them that you'll begin to sense.
Robert Firestein
01:01:58And once you sense the vibration of envisioning, which is different than ambition, you'll notice that a great feeling of peace comes over you.
Robert Firestein
01:02:13It's actually a method that my wife and I use in any decision we make.
Robert Firestein
01:02:18We sit down together and we meditate and pray on it.
Robert Firestein
01:02:24And then when we open our eyes, we share with what we saw and what we think that we should do based on whatever decision needs to be made.
Robert Firestein
01:02:36And if both of Us have a shared vision and we both have peace with it.
Robert Firestein
01:02:42We're going to do it because.
Robert Firestein
01:02:48And we've been doing that for many years, and that's why our life is unfolding so beautifully, is because we're trusting this inner guidance.
Robert Firestein
01:02:58In the case of me and her, we're.
Robert Firestein
01:03:00We're co trusting this guidance.
Robert Firestein
01:03:03If she says, I don't feel peace and I do, then we don't do it.
Robert Firestein
01:03:09And if I feel peace and she doesn't, we don't do it.
Robert Firestein
01:03:12Of course, if we both don't feel peace, we don't do it.
Robert Firestein
01:03:15But we align ourselves because in the case of a marriage, you have a co destiny that you're creating together.
Robert Firestein
01:03:23And we're not one of us to overrule the other, because that's not really a true relationship.
Robert Firestein
01:03:29But I do that for myself personally, for my individual decisions.
Robert Firestein
01:03:35But the hallmark of it is peace.
Robert Firestein
01:03:39I see a vision and I have peace.
Robert Firestein
01:03:42I want to say one caveat, because often there's something that we're wrestling with that we need to wrestle with and the answer doesn't come to us and we think there's something wrong or that we need to force, no, I need to decide this right now.
Robert Firestein
01:04:03Usually that's not the case.
Robert Firestein
01:04:06The case is that there's a higher wisdom within you, knowing you need more time to see more of the picture, to really ultimately decide.
Robert Firestein
01:04:16So in those cases, you don't force it and you're just patient because life is going to unfold at its own pace anyway.
Robert Firestein
01:04:24And if you try to force it, you're actually going to get yourself in more trouble or no, I'm going to make sure I find peace and be okay with it because I got to decide now.
Robert Firestein
01:04:32No, again, that's your impatience.
Robert Firestein
01:04:34That's coming from your ego, which is saying, I should be there now or this should be happening now.
Robert Firestein
01:04:41Do your part and trust the universe or God to do its part in a certain balance and harmony will begin to flow.
Robert Firestein
01:04:50And so I always say, have the faith to move at the speed of love.
Robert Firestein
01:04:54Right.
Robert Firestein
01:04:55Love doesn't always move as fast as you want to, but if you follow it at its pace, it always delivers.
Robert Firestein
01:05:02And it delivers more abundantly than you could have even imagined.
Robert Firestein
01:05:07You know, part of that is about letting go of control and realizing there's something greater guiding you in your destiny.
Todd
01:05:16Yeah, I love, I love the idea of letting go and realizing something is guiding you.
Todd
01:05:21And the idea of things that I've heard around your soul wanting expansion, your soul wanting to grow Wanting to explore, you know.
Todd
01:05:30And so I.
Todd
01:05:31I have in the past struggled with understanding that fully, where it's like, okay, if my soul wants to expand, wants to grow, you know, I.
Todd
01:05:38I see that as synonymous with improvement, you know, which then if you look at the backside of improvement, there is, I'm not good enough.
Todd
01:05:46Right.
Todd
01:05:46I need to improve.
Todd
01:05:47I need to be better, essentially.
Todd
01:05:49And so it's like, does the soul want me to be better?
Todd
01:05:52I.
Todd
01:05:52I don't.
Todd
01:05:53And you said, well, we need to accept.
Todd
01:05:55We need acceptance.
Todd
01:05:56Very, very important piece.
Todd
01:05:57So that is acceptance and unfolding and allowing and seeing that.
Todd
01:06:02Unfolding and allowing and guiding and even following, maybe not guiding, but using our guide to follow that path, you know, in a way that just feels so much better.
Todd
01:06:14And so we can expand and grow in a way that is more unique to us as opposed to, you know, societal expectations or whatever, Right?
Robert Firestein
01:06:23Yeah.
Robert Firestein
01:06:24And I think that you'll always tell the difference because actually, because of the.
Robert Firestein
01:06:33That anxiety, you know, when you're making dreams that are based on vanity or ego, it has a certain vibration to it, and you start getting all these feelings of angst and fear, fear and frustration.
Robert Firestein
01:06:54So it telling you the signal that it's coming out of that place.
Robert Firestein
01:06:59Whereas when you just follow this gentle lead of your heart, this still small voice within, you actually won't feel that anxiety.
Robert Firestein
01:07:09Right?
Robert Firestein
01:07:10And in this case, it's the gentleness of a journey.
Robert Firestein
01:07:16Putting one foot, then another foot, then another foot, then another foot.
Robert Firestein
01:07:23Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Robert Firestein
01:07:27So I only have to do what I can do today.
Robert Firestein
01:07:30And today.
Robert Firestein
01:07:31And today, my.
Robert Firestein
01:07:32My journey into self.
Robert Firestein
01:07:33Mastery of Kung fu, just as an example, is one punch, another punch, another punch, another punch.
Robert Firestein
01:07:45And so Kung fu ultimately means long work, hard work, long practice.
Robert Firestein
01:07:52And so I become what I practice.
Robert Firestein
01:07:55But that moment of accumulating and coming to what you're actually searching for, which is effortless flow.
Robert Firestein
01:08:04Mastery is effortless flow.
Robert Firestein
01:08:06And there's no greater joy.
Robert Firestein
01:08:08And I got all the.
Robert Firestein
01:08:09The tools at my fingertip.
Robert Firestein
01:08:10And now something greater is playing the piano of me and creating the music that comes through me.
Robert Firestein
01:08:17But I know the keys and I know where to put my hands, but I need to look to that inner guidance.
Robert Firestein
01:08:23Then in that case, there's a harmony to it, right?
Robert Firestein
01:08:26And as soon as you feel like, oh, I should have done this, you go, that person, you just have to relax, right?
Robert Firestein
01:08:34And I just want to say, it's okay.
Robert Firestein
01:08:37It's okay to feel that way.
Robert Firestein
01:08:40You know, that in itself, being frustrated that you Feel frustrated is so natural to the path.
Robert Firestein
01:08:51So just relax in that moment.
Robert Firestein
01:08:53Accept it.
Robert Firestein
01:08:55You're smoking a cigarette.
Robert Firestein
01:08:56Accept it.
Robert Firestein
01:08:57You're doing this, this and that.
Robert Firestein
01:08:59Accept it.
Robert Firestein
01:09:00But you'll notice that it actually creates a gentleness that begins to release the grip of these things on you that aren't healthy for you.
Robert Firestein
01:09:12And then your journey unfolds.
Robert Firestein
01:09:14It will unfold very much like a flower.
Robert Firestein
01:09:18You know, first of all, it's.
Robert Firestein
01:09:19You're starting as a seed buried in the mud, you know, and then you start to make your way, struggle through that until you come up into the water, it's a little easier.
Robert Firestein
01:09:30And there's a fuzzy light on the horizon.
Robert Firestein
01:09:34You just don't know what it is, but you're moving towards it.
Robert Firestein
01:09:37But that gentle pushing towards that light is actually what causes you to grow and unfold.
Robert Firestein
01:09:45And if you keep going, you'll eventually hit the surface of the water, and under the direct rays of the light, then you'll begin to really blossom into who you are, right?
Robert Firestein
01:09:58And.
Robert Firestein
01:09:59But that's a journey.
Robert Firestein
01:10:00And at any given moment, when you're finally the lotus sitting on top of the pond, you can't look down and go look at these other poor fools in the mud, because right at that moment, you'll feel, oh, my roots are in the mud.
Robert Firestein
01:10:19I'm.
Robert Firestein
01:10:19We're part of each other.
Robert Firestein
01:10:21We're on a continuum of the same journey.
Robert Firestein
01:10:25And it has to be okay to be in the mud, to be struggling with the darkness, to be moving towards the light.
Robert Firestein
01:10:31And I cannot sit and judge and pretend to be above, because I actually took the same journey.
Robert Firestein
01:10:37And so I think that's important.
Robert Firestein
01:10:39Often as being a teacher, people will get this idea, oh, it's so easy for you, and.
Robert Firestein
01:10:46And you're just above it all, and all those kind of things.
Robert Firestein
01:10:48And they also get intimidated, like, okay, well, I'll never be there.
Robert Firestein
01:10:52And that's when I gently remind them, no, I'm the same as you, brother, or I'm the same as you, sister.
Robert Firestein
01:10:58And I've been through it, right?
Robert Firestein
01:11:00And in times, I'm still going through it.
Robert Firestein
01:11:03It's part of our human destiny.
Robert Firestein
01:11:06But, yes, if you continue not to aspire to that light within you, then who you truly are, in essence, is going to emerge.
Robert Firestein
01:11:18And then you're going to be able to sit on that water and share the beauty of who you are in the fragrance of who you are with the world.
Todd
01:11:27I love that.
Todd
01:11:28Another great metaphor, you know, coming up, coming out into the light, coming from the mud, you know, sitting Atop, you know, on your perch, almost looking down, but refusing to look down necessarily on, you know, other people or other plants or other, you know, things, because you understand where they came from.
Todd
01:11:45You understand that you're all the same.
Todd
01:11:47And so I could see you doing that as a teacher, as coming up and being like, oh, I'm better than other people.
Todd
01:11:51I'm better than this, and I'm better maybe at some point in your career, and then realizing, like, oh, no, we're all the same, and they're just at a different level than me.
Todd
01:11:58And as I improve, all I want to do is to help to make them feel like it's okay that they're at that place in their career, that they're in that place in their hobby or whatever they want to call it for them, know.
Todd
01:12:10And then you decide to move into teaching.
Todd
01:12:13And this is where I kind of wanted to touch on some of the struggles of you moving into.
Todd
01:12:17From a student to being a teacher and finding your voice, you know, and.
Todd
01:12:21And being.
Todd
01:12:23Moving into that new role, you know, and the challenges you.
Todd
01:12:25You faced.
Robert Firestein
01:12:27Yeah, well, when I left San Francisco and moved down to Tucson to start a branch of the school that I had studied with at for 20 years, the parting instructions, I think, not the last thing that he said to me, but the thing he said to me before I left, he kind of looked at me and he says, and whatever you do, Bob, don't become a spiritual snob.
Robert Firestein
01:12:57And.
Robert Firestein
01:12:58And I think he personified that.
Robert Firestein
01:13:01He taught us the mysteries of the universe, and he was very evolved as a human being, and yet he was always down to earth, always playful, always with a great sense of humor, always shooting this.
Robert Firestein
01:13:17Also always sharing his shadows with us.
Robert Firestein
01:13:22And I think he did it intentionally so that we wouldn't, one, put him on a pedestal, and two, wouldn't avoid the temptation to put ourselves on a pedestal.
Robert Firestein
01:13:34And then as I actually went down and opened the school and so to speak, became the man, you know, everyone's looking to me, you know, for the answers.
Robert Firestein
01:13:44And at first they want to learn kung fu, but then I'm saying some wisdom.
Robert Firestein
01:13:47They're like, I want to know more about that.
Robert Firestein
01:13:49I noticed this.
Robert Firestein
01:13:51This tendency in human beings to give away their power and to make somebody else that power.
Robert Firestein
01:14:03And so they want you to make the decisions for them or tell them what to think or tell them what the way is.
Robert Firestein
01:14:09And to me, there's certainly a temptation to take on the role, like, especially have the title master.
Robert Firestein
01:14:17It's like, oh, okay, yeah, I am the master.
Robert Firestein
01:14:20I'm going to tell you how to live.
Robert Firestein
01:14:22But it was the antithesis of what my teacher told me.
Robert Firestein
01:14:25And I felt it was a test.
Robert Firestein
01:14:27It was actually an ego test, just at a higher level.
Robert Firestein
01:14:31And I always was reminding myself that my role here as teacher is only to hold up a mirror and help them see themselves and help them see the answers that are within them so they could awaken the master within, inside of them.
Robert Firestein
01:14:51Because if the master is outside of you, what happens if the master dies?
Todd
01:14:57Oh, God.
Todd
01:14:57Yeah.
Robert Firestein
01:14:59And so my path, I consider myself to have passed that test, to lead people, but to not take on what they're so willingly, to project on you and give away, you know, and say no, you know, it's kind of like if you see the Buddha on the road, kill it, because it's within you, and if it's not within you, it doesn't matter.
Robert Firestein
01:15:23This whole path doesn't matter anyway.
Robert Firestein
01:15:26Right?
Robert Firestein
01:15:27And.
Robert Firestein
01:15:27And so not to hold myself into the light of what everyone's projecting me to be and to stay humble inside myself and to, you know, check myself before I wreck myself.
Robert Firestein
01:15:43And part of moving to Europe for me has been and stepping away from my role in the dojo as.
Robert Firestein
01:15:52As seagong or a master teacher is, was just such a beautiful humility, because suddenly I don't have title, I don't have rank.
Robert Firestein
01:16:03Nobody wants to hear what I have to say, and I'm, in a sense, back to nothing.
Robert Firestein
01:16:09And then I get to reinvent, so who am I?
Robert Firestein
01:16:13And I'm no longer looking into the mirror of people putting me up there and saying, what does qigong have to say about this?
Robert Firestein
01:16:21You know, because although as much as you try to point people back to their own power, sometimes it's not until you step away that they'll really challenge themselves to find it.
Robert Firestein
01:16:37And so the.
Robert Firestein
01:16:38The.
Robert Firestein
01:16:39In the Shaolin tradition, they have this scene where in order to leave the Shaolin temple, you have to snatch the pebble out of your master's hand, you know, and then he learned that if you do it successfully, goes time for you to go.
Robert Firestein
01:16:58And I think the pebble represents yourself and your own power to take the power you've learned from the master, but now take it so you can wield it yourself.
Robert Firestein
01:17:10And so the saying is, when the student is ready, the master appears.
Robert Firestein
01:17:17And as I left our school and left it in the hands of my students who are now opening schools around the world, I said, but when the student's ready, the master disappears.
Robert Firestein
01:17:31That and so, sorry to tell you, but you're on your own there now.
Robert Firestein
01:17:37I'm still here for guidance.
Robert Firestein
01:17:40I would call myself the Dojo Whisperer, but they make the journey for themselves.
Robert Firestein
01:17:47And.
Robert Firestein
01:17:48And that's.
Robert Firestein
01:17:50It doesn't mean anything to learn my lessons.
Robert Firestein
01:17:54It doesn't learn it.
Robert Firestein
01:17:55It doesn't mean anything to tell the truth that I told the way I told it based on my experience.
Robert Firestein
01:18:03You have to find it for yourself and tell it and own it and tell it through your story.
Robert Firestein
01:18:08Otherwise it has no validity and there's no shortcut.
Robert Firestein
01:18:12You have to take the path.
Robert Firestein
01:18:14You know, that is to me, the lifetime path.
Robert Firestein
01:18:17That the lifetime course that my teacher spoke to me of.
Robert Firestein
01:18:22Don't get me wrong, sometimes I so want people to get it.
Robert Firestein
01:18:25And it's mostly out of compassion or love.
Robert Firestein
01:18:28It's like, I want you to have this.
Robert Firestein
01:18:30But I've learned over these years is it takes time.
Robert Firestein
01:18:35And I.
Robert Firestein
01:18:36My desire will never catapult them towards their own achievement.
Robert Firestein
01:18:42The desire has to come from within their heart and their particular achievements or as we're saying, aspirations will rise to the level of their own heart.
Robert Firestein
01:18:53And often people do need and want more painful lessons.
Robert Firestein
01:18:57And you have to also been able to bow.
Robert Firestein
01:19:00And what my teacher always did with me when I screwed up was sit down.
Robert Firestein
01:19:08Okay, what did you learn from it?
Robert Firestein
01:19:10And I would tell him, and then you go, okay, now you got the lesson.
Robert Firestein
01:19:14Let's move on and get back to training.
Robert Firestein
01:19:16And so I did that for my students also, right?
Robert Firestein
01:19:19And they were so embarrassed to tell me and I.
Robert Firestein
01:19:22I let you down.
Robert Firestein
01:19:23And I did this thing and I lacked integrity.
Robert Firestein
01:19:25And it's like, okay, and so what did you learn?
Robert Firestein
01:19:29Okay, good.
Robert Firestein
01:19:32Let's get back to it.
Robert Firestein
01:19:33Where were we?
Todd
01:19:34Did I care?
Todd
01:19:35You're not pissed.
Robert Firestein
01:19:38And be pissed or of course people can be.
Robert Firestein
01:19:42But one of the great gifts my teacher gave me that I started to understand over many years was simply that he loved me unconditionally.
Robert Firestein
01:19:54He loved me as who I was always, from the day I walked in, all throughout the journey.
Robert Firestein
01:20:00And I did mess up many times, but it was always okay, even when it wasn't okay, because it not being okay was a lesson that I needed to learn.
Robert Firestein
01:20:11And you have to afford that grace to every other human being.
Robert Firestein
01:20:15You know, I told my students, the kids, I'm like, if anyone judges you or says you're not good enough, I said, or gets down on you because you made a mistake, I want you to send them to me and I'm going to take them in the back room and I'm going to Put them under hot lights.
Robert Firestein
01:20:34And I'm going to say, did you ever make a mistake?
Robert Firestein
01:20:36Did you ever make a mistake?
Robert Firestein
01:20:38Confess.
Robert Firestein
01:20:39Confess.
Robert Firestein
01:20:40And if they confess, then we'll know they don't have a right to judge you.
Robert Firestein
01:20:46It's okay to make mistakes.
Robert Firestein
01:20:48That's how we learn.
Robert Firestein
01:20:50We've been offered the opportunity to make mistakes again.
Robert Firestein
01:20:53It's that mirror.
Robert Firestein
01:20:55I did make a mistake.
Robert Firestein
01:20:57But I learned, you know, that's not who I am.
Robert Firestein
01:20:59Let me get up tomorrow and try again.
Robert Firestein
01:21:02And only by the course that's been presented by life will we actually learn or grow or come back to ourselves.
Robert Firestein
01:21:10We need both disciple and master, walking side by side in the journey.
Robert Firestein
01:21:15And so I feel that the soul is the one that doesn't know what the Master within knows.
Robert Firestein
01:21:21But it was never meant for the Master within to show you everything all at once.
Robert Firestein
01:21:27You actually have to become, step by step, more conscious of what the Master within knows.
Robert Firestein
01:21:35And then you grow.
Robert Firestein
01:21:36Your soul grows because it's taking on the awareness that's already planted.
Robert Firestein
01:21:42And it's like a seed within your heart from this greater mystery, who we called the Universal Great One.
Robert Firestein
01:21:49The Master within is just a droplet within the ocean of awareness.
Robert Firestein
01:21:56And.
Robert Firestein
01:21:56And it's in you, and you're connected to something greater.
Robert Firestein
01:22:00You're in the ocean, and the ocean is in you.
Robert Firestein
01:22:02So the power, understanding, wisdom of the ocean is available to you, but through this small seed that's been planted in your heart, but you didn't just get to know it right away.
Robert Firestein
01:22:14You're a person, a soul.
Robert Firestein
01:22:16You look out to see yourself and you believe that reflection, and that's the state of your soul at that time.
Robert Firestein
01:22:22And when it's not working out in the world is not delivering it what you're looking for.
Robert Firestein
01:22:27At some point, you may look within.
Robert Firestein
01:22:29And then as you begin to take your illumination of who you are from that spark I'm calling the Master within, then you grow into it.
Robert Firestein
01:22:39I came to my teacher as a disciple at his feet.
Robert Firestein
01:22:43Teach me, Master.
Robert Firestein
01:22:44I need to learn.
Robert Firestein
01:22:45But the disciple, by listening and learning from the Master, became a master himself, right?
Robert Firestein
01:22:53And, and.
Robert Firestein
01:22:55And then was able to provide that same experience for others.
Robert Firestein
01:23:01And yet, no matter where I am on the path, the self that's within me is all always greater than who I am at any given moment and connected to something even greater than that.
Robert Firestein
01:23:15And so you can relax.
Robert Firestein
01:23:18That was the other thing my teacher said.
Robert Firestein
01:23:20Relax first, last, always.
Robert Firestein
01:23:23You can relax because the journey's unfolding and it's going to unfold as it will.
Robert Firestein
01:23:30And even when it seems like it wasn't supposed to go that way, it was supposed to go that way.
Robert Firestein
01:23:37Now everyone says, you know, everything happens for a reason.
Robert Firestein
01:23:42And so I know it's really a very arrogant statement in a way, especially when people are going through something really tough, that there's no way that we can justify or find a meaning or purpose in it.
Robert Firestein
01:23:56And so what I say in is my amendment to that philosophy is I don't know if everything happens for a reason or not.
Robert Firestein
01:24:07But I do know that everything happens.
Robert Firestein
01:24:10And as long as it happens, I'm going to make sure it was for a reason by learning from it.
Todd
01:24:15Yeah.
Robert Firestein
01:24:16And this puts me in a position of trusting life that even when it's devastating and it doesn't go my way, as it has many times already, I know that though bitter though I may go through period of time of darkness, in the long run I will see into and gain something for it from it if I'm willing to stay awake and continue looking from a place of awareness.
Robert Firestein
01:24:41And then I realize, okay, this life is a seasoning of our souls, right?
Robert Firestein
01:24:47And I wasn't born into perfect conditions and things didn't unfold perfectly.
Robert Firestein
01:24:53And even now that I quote, feel peace inside, I have no power over the actions and behaviors of other people.
Robert Firestein
01:25:03If I did, the war in the Middle east would be over and there would be peace and harmony.
Robert Firestein
01:25:09Everyone just do what I'm telling you.
Robert Firestein
01:25:12It's my heart's desire that it be okay.
Robert Firestein
01:25:14I have zero power.
Robert Firestein
01:25:17So things are going to happen.
Robert Firestein
01:25:19I'm part of a continuum of humanity that where we're going to suffer as we continue to try and find ourselves and lash out in anger and fear and all the other things.
Robert Firestein
01:25:30The difference is I, I understand that.
Robert Firestein
01:25:34And I can let life be what it is.
Robert Firestein
01:25:36I can let the world be what it is.
Robert Firestein
01:25:38I can let other people be who they are.
Robert Firestein
01:25:41I'm here to share, but I'm not here to impose upon anyone.
Robert Firestein
01:25:47Freedom is an invitation.
Robert Firestein
01:25:50And if the person doesn't accept the invitation, you just simply bow.
Robert Firestein
01:25:54Because they still have something to learn that will bring them to that invitation.
Robert Firestein
01:25:59And it may not come through you, it may come through somewhere else and some other time, but it's always there to the one who finally comes and decides to look and to ask, you know, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.
Todd
01:26:17Talking about people giving away their power was, it was very interesting to me.
Todd
01:26:20And he said that's a very common thing that you notice.
Todd
01:26:22And then I felt like as you were talking, it almost felt obvious that it would be tied to a fear of making mistakes, as I.
Todd
01:26:31I don't want to be the one who chooses because I might choose wrong.
Todd
01:26:35And if I let somebody else choose, then at least it's on them, and I don't have to feel, like, personally responsible for that, you know, and so that's an avoidance and a.
Todd
01:26:43And I feel like it's.
Todd
01:26:44It stems from a philosophy that doesn't necessarily allow mistakes or there's a lot of judgments, a lot of negative feelings around mistakes.
Todd
01:26:52And it sounds like the core philosophy of a lot of your teaching is around mistakes are.
Todd
01:26:58It.
Todd
01:26:58Mistakes are the way to go.
Todd
01:26:59Like, learn from them, grow from them.
Todd
01:27:01Like, you know, they're.
Todd
01:27:02They're your teacher, and in whatever way, they may show up in your life, you know, and so is.
Todd
01:27:06Is that, I guess, a.
Todd
01:27:08A way that you feel like is just a common thing that you're always teaching in your school to.
Todd
01:27:13To help empower people to take their power back?
Robert Firestein
01:27:18Yes.
Robert Firestein
01:27:19You know, absolutely.
Robert Firestein
01:27:21You put it very well.
Robert Firestein
01:27:25The.
Robert Firestein
01:27:28Our track record as a human being.
Robert Firestein
01:27:30We're conscious and aware of it, and so we're painfully aware of our mistakes.
Robert Firestein
01:27:37We're also aware of the mistakes other people have done to us.
Robert Firestein
01:27:42So in both cases, we're tied between two things.
Robert Firestein
01:27:45One is lack of being able to forgive the way others hurt us and wrong this.
Robert Firestein
01:27:50And the second is not being able to forgive ourself for the way that we've hurt other people, often just lashing out or trying to protect ourselves from the ways that we've been wounded.
Robert Firestein
01:28:05So when somebody comes along and says, well, just believe in yourself.
Robert Firestein
01:28:10Have confidence in yourself.
Robert Firestein
01:28:12Trust yourself, the person is going to be sitting there going, you know, dude, you don't know me, but I know me.
Todd
01:28:19Yeah.
Robert Firestein
01:28:20And believe me, I cannot trust myself, and I do not believe in myself.
Robert Firestein
01:28:24If I believe in myself, I'm.
Robert Firestein
01:28:26I'm trying to believe in myself as a facade because I somehow imagine it's better to have confidence than not have confidence.
Robert Firestein
01:28:35So I take on the Persona of believing myself.
Robert Firestein
01:28:38One thing I notice is that the victor and the victim are both operating from the same place.
Robert Firestein
01:28:44Right?
Robert Firestein
01:28:45Each one has a fear that they're not good enough.
Robert Firestein
01:28:47The victor compensates by, look at me.
Robert Firestein
01:28:49I have another victory.
Robert Firestein
01:28:50I did another thing.
Robert Firestein
01:28:51I really am.
Robert Firestein
01:28:52Look, look, look.
Robert Firestein
01:28:53But that's why they're always looking to the next thing beyond that to accomplish and to show that, See, see, see.
Robert Firestein
01:29:00We still have that core fear of, I'm really not worthy, and I'm really not good enough.
Robert Firestein
01:29:07On the other side, the victim takes on.
Robert Firestein
01:29:10I.
Robert Firestein
01:29:10I'm not worthy and I can't believe in myself as a Persona and in their victimhood, they're afraid of who they are, so they play that role.
Robert Firestein
01:29:20And often they get attention from people, et cetera.
Robert Firestein
01:29:23And don't get me wrong, really horrible things happen to human beings.
Robert Firestein
01:29:27I always say it's the toughest thing you could imagine is being a human being.
Robert Firestein
01:29:33It's, it's really difficult.
Robert Firestein
01:29:35And I do have great compassion for that.
Robert Firestein
01:29:38But the point being is, until you make a lifeline back to yourself in your own heart and begin actually untrusting and following the guidance from within your own heart, which leads you to begin to trust yourself and, and to believe in yourself, because now you have a new record of actually following what it is.
Robert Firestein
01:30:05You break the old habits and begin new ones, and the old ones no longer have a grip over you.
Robert Firestein
01:30:11And so, for example, when I was younger, not my finest hours, I'm sorry to admit it, but then again, not sorry because I'm here to be transparent.
Robert Firestein
01:30:22But for example, at hard times of my life, when I was out on the streets and homeless, I stole things from other people to get by.
Robert Firestein
01:30:31Now, of course, I could carry that down the road with me as, oh, man, people don't know I'm a thief.
Robert Firestein
01:30:37I can't.
Robert Firestein
01:30:38But I'm so ashamed.
Robert Firestein
01:30:39Honestly, I don't feel good about it.
Robert Firestein
01:30:41I don't think it was right, especially now in the light of greater awareness.
Robert Firestein
01:30:46But the way I look at it from what I'm sharing with you is, oh, I got to find out that I'm not a thief.
Robert Firestein
01:30:53That's not me.
Robert Firestein
01:30:54I got to find out that I don't want to hurt other people.
Robert Firestein
01:30:58So everything that I did that was carried as a baggage of shame, I got to see, oh, it was only teaching me.
Robert Firestein
01:31:07And now, for example, I would not steal for now.
Robert Firestein
01:31:11I used to not be able to say no to offer of any drugs.
Robert Firestein
01:31:17And, and so if somebody had something and they, they offered it, I was powerless.
Robert Firestein
01:31:23I'm like, let's go.
Robert Firestein
01:31:27And it got me into a lot of bad places.
Robert Firestein
01:31:29So I learned that I don't want that anymore.
Robert Firestein
01:31:34So there's actually no temptation now when somebody comes up and goes, hey man, I got some stuff you want, it's like, get away from me.
Robert Firestein
01:31:42And it's, I'm not trying to be judgmental.
Robert Firestein
01:31:45I've been there.
Robert Firestein
01:31:45But it's, it's not even allure.
Robert Firestein
01:31:48Because I found out that's not who I am.
Robert Firestein
01:31:51So more as you build trust, you actually begin to trust yourself.
Robert Firestein
01:31:55Not just by the slogan, not just by believing in yourself, but because you start being true to yourself.
Robert Firestein
01:32:02How can you ask other people to trust you when you don't trust yourself?
Robert Firestein
01:32:06And when you start responding to your own inwardly guided discipline.
Robert Firestein
01:32:13Which means, I really don't want to do this anymore.
Robert Firestein
01:32:17And I really do want to do this.
Robert Firestein
01:32:19Of course you don't feel like going to the gym, okay, but go a little deeper.
Robert Firestein
01:32:27It's because of how you're going to feel after and what it's going to give to you that you actually do.
Robert Firestein
01:32:32So which voice are you going to follow?
Robert Firestein
01:32:35When you follow the one, it's like, though I don't feel like it, I'm going to get my ass up and go to the gym anyway.
Robert Firestein
01:32:41Later in the day you have built self trust and you go, I'm here for me, I'm going to do what's best for me.
Robert Firestein
01:32:49And once you have that in yourself, then you're going to start having it in your relationships.
Robert Firestein
01:32:55Because people will see that you're true to yourself, that you have integrity to your own values, that you are who you say you are.
Robert Firestein
01:33:02So naturally they're going to begin to trust you.
Robert Firestein
01:33:05Right?
Robert Firestein
01:33:06But we want trust without having self trust.
Robert Firestein
01:33:10Hey, come on, trust me.
Robert Firestein
01:33:12Is there anything you should be more wary of than someone who comes up says, trust me, just trust me.
Robert Firestein
01:33:20And and so it's, it's just building a bridge back to yourself so that you can rise up and be yourself.
Robert Firestein
01:33:31And it does take time.
Robert Firestein
01:33:34All the lifetime of practice and habits and psychology took you a lifetime to accumulate.
Robert Firestein
01:33:41Now you're running a program wire, whereby you're answering to an inner authority.
Robert Firestein
01:33:47And following that, you're no longer at the mercy of outer authorities, either other people or even your own ego and your own fears.
Robert Firestein
01:33:56And you simply go and follow the guidance for a long period of time.
Robert Firestein
01:34:03I would often just react to a situation so the person was an to me.
Robert Firestein
01:34:09I would be an back.
Robert Firestein
01:34:11But it often led to outcomes that were making my life more complicated and getting me and even damaging relationships, etc.
Robert Firestein
01:34:22So I started to take a beat and go to a deeper place and see what it suggested.
Robert Firestein
01:34:29Like the movie the Terminator.
Robert Firestein
01:34:31You know, he goes down the scrolling list of responses and then picks, you know, fuck you, asshole.
Robert Firestein
01:34:39But when you scroll down a little further, it's like, I'm sorry you feel like we're sir, have a nice day.
Robert Firestein
01:34:45Now you may feel like saying the first option, but if you take a beat, you'll go, you know what?
Robert Firestein
01:34:52I'm going to trust this deeper option, even though I don't feel like it.
Robert Firestein
01:34:56It doesn't feel satisfying in the moment.
Robert Firestein
01:34:59But what I started to notice is it's leading me to better outcomes.
Robert Firestein
01:35:03I'm actually defeating my opponents without even fighting them.
Robert Firestein
01:35:07It's what Bruce Lee called the art of fighting without fighting.
Robert Firestein
01:35:11And, and so then you begin to trust yourself because you trust your own guidance.
Robert Firestein
01:35:17But where is it that they teach you to do that?
Robert Firestein
01:35:20You know, you go to school because they teach you what you didn't know.
Robert Firestein
01:35:23You go, even in religion, often it's telling you what to believe and how to live your life.
Robert Firestein
01:35:30In our school, even at five and six years old, I ask them these deeper questions and the answers that came out of their mouth, now, mind you, five, six, seven years old, were deeper and more wise than what our world leaders.
Robert Firestein
01:35:47That's coming out of the mouth of our world leaders.
Robert Firestein
01:35:50And I told those kids, I go, are you going to wisdom school?
Robert Firestein
01:35:53And they go, no.
Robert Firestein
01:35:55And I said, because the answers you're saying are more wise than the people about above you who are running the world.
Robert Firestein
01:36:00So you need to start listening to yourself and you need to start trusting yourself.
Robert Firestein
01:36:04So they gave me their answers and I would bow me.
Robert Firestein
01:36:08Bowing led to them to begin to bow to themselves.
Robert Firestein
01:36:13And ultimately it leads to when I'm really in trouble, I can trust myself and my own inner guidance.
Robert Firestein
01:36:22We can listen to the counsel of others.
Robert Firestein
01:36:25We can read a book.
Robert Firestein
01:36:26Of course we should hear the teachings of masters that came before us.
Robert Firestein
01:36:30But at the end of the day, who are you and what do you want to do?
Todd
01:36:36Yeah, yeah, that's, that's so powerful to, to give that to somebody, to, to help them to uncover that and to.
Todd
01:36:43And that's the funny thing about it too, is that a lot of it is just common sense.
Todd
01:36:48And that's why a child at 5 or 6 can, can answer that and be like, hey, you know, like, I have this great feeling and it's love.
Todd
01:36:54And it's all these things that are just like, it's like, hey, you know, it's just, this is common sense.
Todd
01:36:57But we, we, you know, drag us through the mud, through the different books and the different countries and the different languages and all.
Todd
01:37:04It gets skewed in different, many different ways and the belief systems and the agendas and the bias, you know, and then it becomes something that it's not ever meant to be.
Todd
01:37:12But A kid has not gone through a lot of that, hopefully by the age of five or six, you know, to really develop a view that is so skewed like our normal one is.
Todd
01:37:20And that actually leads me to one of the, like the last conversations I really wanted to make sure I touched on was, was the value systems, you know, of, of our, of our country, of our, you know, the western world, if you will.
Todd
01:37:32And I was searching, you know, doing some research on you prior and looking over your website and there was like the testimonials for the girl power program that you did.
Todd
01:37:44And to refresh the audience, the girl power thing was the self defense class for women.
Todd
01:37:49But it's not just self defense, it's more like self empowerment as well.
Todd
01:37:54And that was very important thing is that like I saw someone talk about in the comments about how powerful it was because in the modern world one of the top values is beauty for women.
Todd
01:38:04It's, it's being, you know, being beautiful, being, you know, trophy wife type type thing, you know, and so it's makeup, it's this, those, those are the things that, that improve you and, and imp are the status symbols, you know, how are your nails, how's your hair, how's your this, how's your that.
Todd
01:38:19It's not how strong are you, how's your integrity, you know, how much compassion do you have?
Todd
01:38:24Like, those weren't the things that are necessarily lifted up in the world.
Todd
01:38:28And so for me is a very important thing for us to touch on that together is, you know, the value systems that are in place don't allow these to be taught that this is not at the forefront of our education system, you know, and therefore other things have infiltrated the value systems of people that, that skew us and lead us down a path that is away from the self, you know.
Robert Firestein
01:38:52Yeah, I wanted to address that in, in my school.
Robert Firestein
01:38:57And again, going back to children, you go to the heart.
Robert Firestein
01:39:01It's much better to be started and rooted in your ultimate goal than it is to undo the damage done and return to it, which is what most of us end up having to do.
Robert Firestein
01:39:12So I, if I thought I could give them a link, a connection to their values, that it would show them what their value is as a human being.
Robert Firestein
01:39:24So to go over what you said, not, not in every case, but in general, girls are look, are valued by beauty and looks.
Robert Firestein
01:39:39It's a very common thing I used to say in my school, you know, you could come in and pick up this, this weight and move it over to the Side if a boy did it, they go, look at Johnny, look how strong he is.
Robert Firestein
01:39:51And then you do like, you look so pretty in that dress while you're moving the thing.
Robert Firestein
01:39:57So you're always looking to.
Robert Firestein
01:39:59My value is in how I look or, or what my size is or what my shape is.
Robert Firestein
01:40:03And that becomes, in a sense, your power.
Robert Firestein
01:40:07But this to me is very foolish because it's an exterior thing that you had nothing to do with.
Robert Firestein
01:40:16And to place your value as if there's something value about you because of the way that you look actually disconnects you from your value.
Robert Firestein
01:40:27And then just again, in a general view, never ultimately true in all cases, but in general, boys and men are, are, are valued based on what you can do.
Robert Firestein
01:40:42You know, look how fast I can run, look how much I can lift.
Robert Firestein
01:40:45Look how smart I am, look at, look at how skilled I am at this thing.
Robert Firestein
01:40:49And then we give them a sense of value and we value each other based on how well you do exteriorly.
Robert Firestein
01:40:58But again, those were things that you were born with.
Robert Firestein
01:41:01It's not necessarily connected to any values.
Robert Firestein
01:41:05So you can run really fast.
Robert Firestein
01:41:07You're my hero, you're my idol, but you actually are doing things that are abhorrent and leading in the wrong direction.
Robert Firestein
01:41:15And again, we shouldn't be looking outside of ourself, even creating idols based on what they can do or how they look then just outside of that, because I would call those the physical values which are not the true value of a human being.
Robert Firestein
01:41:33We're all have an innate worth as human beings and an innate beauty.
Robert Firestein
01:41:40Like teaching the girls, I began to see my message was you are beautiful.
Robert Firestein
01:41:44And maybe I thought it was a slogan in the beginning, but eventually I began to see the beauty in every girl.
Robert Firestein
01:41:51They come in different shapes and sizes and different physical Personas, but there's always a beauty there if you're willing to look for it.
Robert Firestein
01:41:58But in the mental side is what are your opinions, your ideas, what do you believe in?
Robert Firestein
01:42:03And then when you say those things, people say, okay, you're okay, you're all right because you belong to a certain club or a certain way of thinking that become you deciding which part of the divided group do I want to be along, go along with and be accepted by?
Robert Firestein
01:42:18So I just repeat all those opinions and it's like, I'm this, I'm a liberal, I'm a conservative, I'm a Democrat, I'm a Republican, etc.
Robert Firestein
01:42:28But this again is just mentally created.
Robert Firestein
01:42:32So what I did was not say this is what your Values are, or this is what our values are.
Robert Firestein
01:42:40Instead, I asked the question, go into your heart and tell me what your values are.
Robert Firestein
01:42:48And I had my students create what I call the pyramid of values that through this process of inner reflection, what are your personal values that you apply to yourself?
Robert Firestein
01:43:00What are your values of relationship?
Robert Firestein
01:43:02And what are your values that you'd like to see reflected in the world?
Robert Firestein
01:43:07They would come up with their own pyramid.
Robert Firestein
01:43:11And.
Robert Firestein
01:43:12And I said, then I would say, those are your values.
Robert Firestein
01:43:15And they said, yeah.
Robert Firestein
01:43:16And I said, now you have to take the course to endeavor to live by them.
Robert Firestein
01:43:23All right?
Robert Firestein
01:43:23It's not for another person to tell you what your values is.
Robert Firestein
01:43:26It's for you to decide what they are, and then to make sure that you live by them in your thoughts, words, and actions.
Robert Firestein
01:43:34It will take practice, but then people will come to know your value by those values that you demonstrate.
Robert Firestein
01:43:43And if they remain consistent, you end up having what we call integrity, which means you're the same when the weather is good, when the weather is bad, you're like a pine tree.
Robert Firestein
01:43:55It's in the desert, it's evergreen.
Robert Firestein
01:43:57In the forest, it's evergreen in the snow, it's evergreen, true to its own nature.
Robert Firestein
01:44:03The outer environment doesn't change it, right?
Robert Firestein
01:44:06You don't go into the room.
Robert Firestein
01:44:08You know, you're the.
Robert Firestein
01:44:10You're the thermostat, not the thermometer, right?
Robert Firestein
01:44:15You don't go into a place and just reflect the actions and behaviors and values of people around you.
Robert Firestein
01:44:20You decide what they are, and you set the temperature for the room and your life.
Robert Firestein
01:44:25And what we found was so amazing as we began to share these values, which takes us beyond your opinion, takes you beyond anything that you can, quote, do that you think or look like or anything that makes you valuable or what you've accomplished or what you own.
Robert Firestein
01:44:41And.
Robert Firestein
01:44:42No, what are your core values?
Robert Firestein
01:44:44We found that all the values know and support each other.
Robert Firestein
01:44:49So now, no matter which set you pick, they end up always leading you back to the same place.
Robert Firestein
01:44:57But also they connect us with each other.
Robert Firestein
01:45:00When we hear each other's values and we go, oh, your highest value is love.
Robert Firestein
01:45:05Mine is peace.
Robert Firestein
01:45:06Then as we think, we go, well, I need to have peace to love fully.
Robert Firestein
01:45:10And love actually brings me to a greater peace.
Robert Firestein
01:45:13It's like all the values are codependent on each other.
Robert Firestein
01:45:16It's almost as they emerge from one source.
Robert Firestein
01:45:20And what's.
Robert Firestein
01:45:21What's really good about that process is they don't feel artificially imposed upon.
Robert Firestein
01:45:28Let me tell you what you Believe, kid.
Robert Firestein
01:45:30Let me tell you what your values are.
Robert Firestein
01:45:32If you don't do, though, I'm gonna hit you.
Robert Firestein
01:45:34And if you do, or I'm gonna punish you, you're gonna get a timeout and all those things.
Robert Firestein
01:45:38Don't get me wrong.
Robert Firestein
01:45:40Parents do have to have some level of.
Robert Firestein
01:45:43Of consequences and discipline.
Robert Firestein
01:45:46But the point being is that they become authentic.
Robert Firestein
01:45:50They become something that they chose is something that they can own because it arose from their own heart.
Robert Firestein
01:45:57And they said it was important.
Robert Firestein
01:45:59No one told them to make it important.
Robert Firestein
01:46:01Because at the end of the day, think about it.
Robert Firestein
01:46:04When you think of a person, there'll be a few things that come to your mind, you know?
Robert Firestein
01:46:10And those things will be rooted in the values that they've been practicing or not practicing, you know?
Robert Firestein
01:46:17And this is how we really get to know each other.
Robert Firestein
01:46:20After we're done with the dazzle of what you look like, what you've accomplished, what you've acquired.
Robert Firestein
01:46:27Once we get beyond the dazzle of your opinions, this is what I think we should do to establish peace in the Middle East.
Robert Firestein
01:46:34And it's like, oh, it's wonderful, Amazing.
Robert Firestein
01:46:38And once we get beyond those ego reflections, under that is, well, who are you really?
Robert Firestein
01:46:45And what are your true values?
Robert Firestein
01:46:47And most importantly, are you living by them?
Robert Firestein
01:46:51Because as I always told my students, okay, I believe you.
Robert Firestein
01:46:54You're a good person way deep down.
Robert Firestein
01:46:57But what is this doing way deep down there?
Robert Firestein
01:46:59Why don't you get it up here where we can see it?
Robert Firestein
01:47:02Start speaking and acting on it.
Robert Firestein
01:47:04Be the good person that you've been burying way deep down.
Robert Firestein
01:47:07And you get to decide who that is and what that looks like.
Robert Firestein
01:47:11And if you're wrong, then you'll learn.
Robert Firestein
01:47:13It's okay.
Robert Firestein
01:47:14No, you can't do kung fu without making mistakes.
Robert Firestein
01:47:18I'm not good at punching yet.
Robert Firestein
01:47:19I know, because that was like your third punch.
Robert Firestein
01:47:23How do kids get the idea that you're supposed to be perfect at things?
Robert Firestein
01:47:27The very first few times I'm horrible at this, it's like, no, you're not horrible.
Robert Firestein
01:47:32You just haven't even tried yet.
Robert Firestein
01:47:34So just calm down, and I'm going to take a picture of you now, and I'm going to take a picture of you in three years, and you can contrast the difference.
Robert Firestein
01:47:43You're going to grow into knowing how to punch.
Robert Firestein
01:47:45But you need a lot of bad punches to find out what a good punch is.
Robert Firestein
01:47:49You need to lose your balance many times to find your balance.
Robert Firestein
01:47:53The losing of your balance strengthens your leg until it finally, at last, the Enough strength is there to go, ah, there you are, my friend.
Robert Firestein
01:48:02I'm balanced now.
Todd
01:48:04I love that, I love that.
Todd
01:48:06And, and with the values thing that you, you mentioned, the.
Todd
01:48:08Was it values pyramid you called it?
Todd
01:48:11Yeah, yeah.
Todd
01:48:12So like that, that to me was so cool because it almost, it reminded me of like the hierarchy of needs, you know, and so then when you like put values are not quite needs, they're not quite the same thing.
Todd
01:48:23But it's like because of what you value, you have certain needs.
Todd
01:48:25If you value love, you have certain needs around love and connection and, and those types of things.
Todd
01:48:31And so when you can teach someone what their needs are, who they really are, deep down, you know, it starts to unveil some of those needs that they might have.
Todd
01:48:39And then that kind of goes all the way back to understanding why you're utilizing a substance, what is it doing for you?
Todd
01:48:46Right?
Todd
01:48:47So what need is it meeting based on what value you have at a deeper level?
Todd
01:48:52Right.
Todd
01:48:53And so, and so that to me is like so powerful and so cool for you to help someone get to know themselves, help them get to understand what those needs are, and then understanding that there are certain, certain things that we're doing that are coping mechanisms because those needs are not being met.
Robert Firestein
01:49:07Thousand percent.
Robert Firestein
01:49:09And I think when you begin to fill up with your true value, which happens not just by having values.
Robert Firestein
01:49:17I said everyone does that.
Robert Firestein
01:49:19A country has values, a person has values, philosophies have values, religions have values, but we often suspect when they don't live up to them that it's just hypocrisy.
Robert Firestein
01:49:32And so we start to lose our faith in values.
Robert Firestein
01:49:35So if you want to make your values valuable, live by them, right?
Robert Firestein
01:49:42Don't just talk about what they are or put them on a shelf and go, I have these values up on my wall, but you need to go about the practice of living them day by day so they actually come to life.
Robert Firestein
01:49:53They become actualized because you act on them, right?
Robert Firestein
01:49:59So this, when you begin filling up with that value, it takes away your need to get it from outside of yourself.
Robert Firestein
01:50:13And then what I say is this, rather than seeking happiness or seeking the world to provide you love, peace and joy would be three examples of values, kind of big league values.
Robert Firestein
01:50:28Rather than looking for the world to provide it to you, you find it inside yourself and you've been expressing it.
Robert Firestein
01:50:36So rather than going to world and begging for what you think, the world has to satisfy you and make you happy, and if it doesn't, then you just use more and you become Addicted to the things because you're not getting what you want.
Robert Firestein
01:50:49You find it, and your life is about giving it.
Robert Firestein
01:50:53And in giving it, it increases, you know, if the person notice that if a person wants more love and is very needy, they drive people away and they end up getting less love.
Robert Firestein
01:51:05Yeah, but if you actually just love more and trusting that if I love more, it will multiply and increase.
Robert Firestein
01:51:14Right.
Robert Firestein
01:51:14So the things of the material realm, you get more when you have more.
Robert Firestein
01:51:19But the things of the spiritual realm, you get more when you give more.
Robert Firestein
01:51:24Yeah.
Robert Firestein
01:51:24And it's a.
Robert Firestein
01:51:25It's a substantial difference in.
Robert Firestein
01:51:27Values grow because you're true to them and you give them and you express them, even in worldly things.
Robert Firestein
01:51:33When you express your values in the work you do, your work will be more successful and stronger.
Robert Firestein
01:51:38When you express your values in your relationships, you're building bridges and making strong emotional ties.
Robert Firestein
01:51:45You know, when you express your values in life, you're enjoying life more.
Robert Firestein
01:51:50And also when you go home at night and sit and just be quiet, you actually feel everything that you were looking for, you have in just being yourself because you were willing to be yourself.
Robert Firestein
01:52:06And that self, though, is based on the realm of values, Not.
Robert Firestein
01:52:11We'll never know by what we see on the surface.
Robert Firestein
01:52:15That's one of the reasons why we have so much distrust of other human beings.
Robert Firestein
01:52:20Because everyone's putting on a mask so they look successful, they look confident, they look like they know what they're saying.
Robert Firestein
01:52:27And then all of a sudden later, we're so shocked to discover that behind that there's all this deception and manipulation and trickery.
Robert Firestein
01:52:36But if you find it in yourself, you won't have to chase after even those people anymore.
Todd
01:52:43Yeah.
Todd
01:52:44Begin to take the mask off when.
Todd
01:52:46When those needs are no longer unmet and the.
Todd
01:52:49And you can feel safe to make mistakes and be yourself.
Todd
01:52:52And you're connected to that inner awareness, you know, the.
Todd
01:52:55The master within.
Robert Firestein
01:52:56Yeah, absolutely.
Todd
01:52:58This is absolutely amazing.
Todd
01:53:00Amazing concepts.
Todd
01:53:01Like, I.
Todd
01:53:03Frustrates me a little bit.
Todd
01:53:04I'm compassionate about the fact that this is not being taught in schools or anything to anybody.
Todd
01:53:10You know what I mean?
Todd
01:53:11Like, and I love that.
Todd
01:53:12That martial arts is an avenue for people to learn that through, you know, specifically kung fu, being.
Todd
01:53:18Being an awesome one, you know, And I haven't found that enough in my own personal life, which is why when I found it myself, you know, through books and through my own, you know, philosophy and lessons of life, you know, my own contemplation, contemplative practices and things, then it's just like I, I, I want everybody to have this.
Todd
01:53:33And I, that's that thing with that you said too.
Todd
01:53:35It's like, that's that even that is like almost ego.
Todd
01:53:38And it's like I can't force anybody to have it.
Todd
01:53:40I can just be, you know, a, a shining light and be myself and, and be attached to my values and let my values unfold.
Todd
01:53:46And, and as corny as it sounds, be the change you want to see in the world because that is when you are being peace, harmony, love, joy, and you're putting those out into the world.
Todd
01:53:54That's when all of a sudden you start to create, be a creator of the world that you want to live in.
Robert Firestein
01:54:00Yeah.
Robert Firestein
01:54:01And you know, a cynical world takes these beautiful ideas that are so life giving and nurturing and then throws this tag corny and almost makes us afraid or ashamed to own it.
Robert Firestein
01:54:18When I was 20, I actually put that quote be the change you want to see in the world from Gandhi on my wall.
Robert Firestein
01:54:25And it took me on a journey into what that quote actually means.
Robert Firestein
01:54:29Right.
Robert Firestein
01:54:30But, and so I find myself, I think kung fu gave me the strength because I knew I was really good at kung fu.
Robert Firestein
01:54:36I could weather people calling me corny or you know, oh, don't you know, you're talking about love and peace.
Robert Firestein
01:54:44Yeah, that's going to work.
Robert Firestein
01:54:46Get back to the real world.
Robert Firestein
01:54:47Yeah.
Robert Firestein
01:54:48You know, but I love what John Lennon said, which is reality leaves a lot to the imagination, you know, and, and so I'm not intimidated to actually take those higher values and begin to live by them.
Robert Firestein
01:55:07And then being true to myself is what allows me to see and perceive other people who are not being true to themselves.
Robert Firestein
01:55:17And rather than just be angry or dismissive of them, I can continue to bring myself, in case it rings the signal in them that no, I want that too, but you can only feed the person who's hungry.
Robert Firestein
01:55:32And you edit a lot because it doesn't matter if people aren't seeking their own freedom.
Robert Firestein
01:55:41The book Erich Fromm is called Escape from Freedom and it was very impactful to me because it reveals this idea that everyone says they're looking for freedom, but actually they're running away from it.
Robert Firestein
01:55:56They're trying to give their power away to politicians, to religious leaders, to society and, and education, outer control politics because they want somebody else to provide the freedom for them.
Robert Firestein
01:56:17And so they fail to actually just step into the freedom that is in a sense your God given right as a human being to have.
Robert Firestein
01:56:27And then in terms of sharing it, the Thing that becomes, suppresses us is, oh, they're gonna think I'm this or I'm so full of myself.
Robert Firestein
01:56:37So this becomes kind of a false humility that robs the world of the gift of what you have to offer.
Robert Firestein
01:56:44You know, one of the themes of my dojo was give the gift of yourself.
Robert Firestein
01:56:48It's going to be different in all of us.
Robert Firestein
01:56:50But you are here to give that.
Robert Firestein
01:56:52And it doesn't matter that people, oh, you think you're all that you have something to say.
Robert Firestein
01:56:56Oh, you think you're wise and think of Buddha and Jesus.
Robert Firestein
01:57:02In one case, Buddha is saying, I have the answer to end all suffering, and Jesus is saying, I am the light of the world.
Robert Firestein
01:57:11You know, follow me.
Robert Firestein
01:57:13So were they egomaniacs or were they actually the most humblest of souls who had come to an awareness or realization that then they felt responsible?
Robert Firestein
01:57:23To mirror to others and even once mirrored doesn't mean people will get it, but it just means it's there for you to look into and find yourself in it if you choose.
Robert Firestein
01:57:35You know, if you've been in Plato's cave and you've been dancing to shadows and then you see the light within, and even better, you see a light that leads to a whole nother world, if you, if you're a responsible person, you'll come back.
Robert Firestein
01:57:49And I've learned, don't go directly up to people and tell them about that other world, but say from a distance, like throw a few rocks and say.
Robert Firestein
01:58:01And then see who responds to it.
Robert Firestein
01:58:04Because people say they want the truth, but as you know, Jack Nicholson said, you want the truth, you can't handle the truth.
Robert Firestein
01:58:13They don't really want it.
Robert Firestein
01:58:15And they often are very angry at the person who gives it to them.
Todd
01:58:18Yeah, yeah, facts.
Todd
01:58:20And so that's a perfect segue.
Todd
01:58:22And so we'll finish up here with the fact that you have been on a journey of self expression as well.
Todd
01:58:28You said you were recently kind of getting out in Portugal before our interview and doing some speaking.
Todd
01:58:34And now in Spain, the goal is to kind of, you know, become a little bit of a, I don't know if recluse, hermit mode.
Todd
01:58:41Right, right.
Todd
01:58:41A little bit, you know, get kind of into yourself and, and get some books out and so talk to us about some of the stuff you're working on and what you got, what you got coming out soon potentially and you know, where your journey's headed.
Robert Firestein
01:58:56Yeah, so there's several things that, that I'm doing now that I would consider my.
Robert Firestein
01:59:02A continuation of my Life's work.
Robert Firestein
01:59:06At some point, I wanted to step beyond the 10,000 hours that it takes to learn kung fu.
Robert Firestein
01:59:12And with a lot of instruction about how to kick someone in the balls and, and which, don't get me wrong, can be important too, but to actually get to the deeper heart of the message that, that I found inside of me, inside the teaching of my school.
Robert Firestein
01:59:31And as you said, it's not.
Robert Firestein
01:59:33It can be through music, it can be through whatever discipline you choose, whatever mathematics.
Robert Firestein
01:59:42Anything is universal.
Robert Firestein
01:59:43And they all lead to this greater connectedness.
Robert Firestein
01:59:47But I do a online program called Inner Awareness Mastery.
Robert Firestein
01:59:52So I have a group of people who meet me online every month where I give assignments.
Robert Firestein
01:59:56And it's just a constant pushing into and unveiling into this greater awareness.
Robert Firestein
02:00:03I like to say it's a.
Robert Firestein
02:00:05A safe zone, a judgment free zone.
Robert Firestein
02:00:07And the person's allowed to explore and actually unfold their journey organically from within themselves rather than having a certain pathway be imposed upon them.
Robert Firestein
02:00:21It's the pathway of, of Inner Awareness Mastery is I am so I am west.
Robert Firestein
02:00:30And we're always answering that question.
Robert Firestein
02:00:33And then my first book that I'm ready to publish, I'm polishing it right now, is called the Master Path.
Robert Firestein
02:00:41And it's simply about going into the temple of your own heart, awakening the Master within, becoming a disciple of the Master within, finding your connection to the universal Great One and then walking it out.
Robert Firestein
02:00:56And not only living a life of blessing, but a life that blesses others in the process.
Robert Firestein
02:01:05It's always symbiotic.
Robert Firestein
02:01:07You know, when you bless yourself, you bless others because you're part of that community.
Robert Firestein
02:01:12And when you bless yourself, you bless others because you have more to offer that community.
Robert Firestein
02:01:18And so that's the basic concept of the book.
Robert Firestein
02:01:21And then I'm excited to follow up with, with more books because I learned a lot.
Robert Firestein
02:01:29So that means I have more things to share.
Robert Firestein
02:01:35I feel responsible to share the things that I've learned from my teacher.
Robert Firestein
02:01:40And right now I feel the best way to do that is through books.
Robert Firestein
02:01:43I spent 40 years teaching live in Action, and now I want to sit and write books.
Robert Firestein
02:01:51And even books, novels, stories, poetry, children's books that reflect these, these greater lessons is, is my version of sharing the gift of myself, which I always encourage my students to do.
Robert Firestein
02:02:06You know, find the thing you're passionate about and, and that you're good at and that's connected to something you care about in the world and make a life out of it, and that's a good life, you know, Absolutely.
Todd
02:02:22I love that.
Todd
02:02:23And thank you.
Todd
02:02:23Thank you for sharing the gift of yourself on the podcast with me.
Todd
02:02:27With me personally, even.
Todd
02:02:28You know, we've had two conversations before this.
Todd
02:02:31You know, each time just.
Todd
02:02:32Just right on cue with just the things that need to be said, the things that you.
Todd
02:02:38You wish you'd hear more of in the real world.
Todd
02:02:40You know, just the.
Todd
02:02:41Just the.
Todd
02:02:41The gratefulness and the.
Todd
02:02:43The humility and the wisdom.
Todd
02:02:45You know, you've.
Todd
02:02:46You've.
Todd
02:02:46You've clearly put in the work to have earned that, and you've clearly also.
Todd
02:02:51That's an active thing, but you've clearly also done the work of.
Todd
02:02:53To let go and allow that, I think both being extremely powerful.
Todd
02:02:58So thank you.
Robert Firestein
02:02:59And thank you also, Todd.
Robert Firestein
02:03:01I've learned so much from you, and I admire and respect who you are and your courage to share the gift of yourself and to create a space of a evolving potential, because this is what I feel humanity most needs is to be able to grow into this untapped potential within us as human beings.
Robert Firestein
02:03:26And you're claiming the victory by creating the space, singing out the message and bring, giving people a platform to share their stories and their message.
Robert Firestein
02:03:36And the beauty is the.
Robert Firestein
02:03:38The beauty is it comes through us, each unique, uniquely through our own soul.
Robert Firestein
02:03:42When it looks different and yet only when seen can we begin to see how it all dovetails together.
Robert Firestein
02:03:49And so it's been a great blessing to meet you, and I'd love to continue our conversations in the future.
Todd
02:03:56Same.
Robert Firestein
02:03:57And.
Todd
02:03:57And what another great.
Todd
02:03:58See, you're always throwing out these great metaphors.
Todd
02:04:00See the fact that it's like, yeah, I want to bring on a bunch of different people on the podcast, I want to get a bunch of different perspectives because.
Todd
02:04:06Because there is no right or wrong answer.
Todd
02:04:08And ultimately, over time, whether I'm talking to a kung fu master or a performance coach or an entrepreneur, you know, if.
Todd
02:04:14If they're doing things right, if they're finding success and peace within themselves, they're probably going to be saying pretty similar things.
Todd
02:04:20It's all probably going to dovetail together at the end, you know, so.
Todd
02:04:24So, yeah.
Todd
02:04:24So thank you again, and it's been a pleasure.
Todd
02:04:27And yes, when you write the book, I will read it and I will most likely be inviting you back on because I'd love to hear more of your stuff.
Robert Firestein
02:04:33All right, sounds great.
Robert Firestein
02:04:34Tog and ciao.
Robert Firestein
02:04:36This will say here.
Todd
02:04:40Thank you.
Todd
02:04:40Bye.
