Philip Anthony Mitchell Opens Up About the Battle Behind His Ministry

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Welcome to Everyday Radical, a podcast where we help the everyday Christian follow Jesus and make him known everywhere.
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We pray that today's episode encourages you to do just that.
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So let's dive right in.
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Welcome back to Everyday Radical.
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I've been very, very, very expectant for this one because today we have Pastor Philip Anthony Mitchell.
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Brother, thank you for uh well for being on this podcast, but for the way you are contending for the gospel, calling the church to bold proclamation of the gospel to prayer.
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Yeah.
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I uh I I think about I was looking at your the access like guide to prayer, and at the end it had like Why Revival Theories by Leonard Ravenhill.
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He he said, I remember he said in that book, the pastor who is not praying is playing.
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Playing, yeah.
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How much are we playing in the church today?
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Yeah, first just thank you.
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Uh thank you guys for having me.
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Uh on the platform.
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Um, I want to give you your flowers while you're alive.
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Right.
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I want to just thank you for being a bold proclaimer of God's word for all these years, for being faithful to the gospel, for the work you've done across the United States and around the world, uh, for your stance for truth, uh, for not shying away from truth, and for everything you've done through radicals.
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I just want to thank you even for the impact you've had on my life.
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So I just I just want to say that first.
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Um, you know, I I may be known for proclamation um, you know, in the U.S.
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and outside the U.S., but um proclamation is not the strongest part of my ministry.
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Um the strongest part of my ministry is what people don't see.
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It is my prayer life.
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You know, I feel that the battle is won or lost first in the prayer room.
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And I think that if we are not praying before we preach or before we do any form of ministry, if we're trying to do ministry or proclaim God's word apart from praying, I think we drift to a place of almost um self-reliance um on ourselves.
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And so um I think prayer is critically important.
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I think Jesus modeled that for us, and I think that our churches will be stronger and Christians will be stronger to the degree we develop a deep, intimate, personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ through our prayer life.
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Has that conviction where where when did that conviction start?
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For you.
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Yeah, man.
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I um it started for me when I was a young boy.
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I was raised in Queens, New York, and uh I had immigrant parents.
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I have immigrant parents from the nation of Trinidad.
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My father went on to be with the Lord, but when I was young, I would uh I would get up in the middle of the night and I would sit on the the stairs and I would hear my parents in the basement.
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They had like a prayer room uh in the basement, and my mother had this old wooden cross, and I would hear her banging that cross on the floor and calling my name before the Lord.
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I would hear my father down there praying, calling my name before the Lord.
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I would hear them praying for other people and praying for my sisters and my brothers, and and this would happen so often.
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So for years they never knew.
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I was just sitting at the top of the stairs, listening to them prayer, and I had no relationship with Jesus for myself.
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Um I knew new scriptures except for Psalm 23.
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They forced me to memorize that.
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Um, but I would just listen to them prayer.
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Something about that intrigued me, and um, so I guess I saw it modeled first um in my parents, and um, and uh I saw my parents who struggle through poverty and great challenges economically just depend on God in prayer.
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Man, they would pray for everything from just help, food, strength, grace, wisdom, humility.
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I would just hear them crying out to God all the time.
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And so I think a seed was sown indirectly.
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And when I came to know the Lord Jesus Christ for myself at the age of 24, I think that seed came alive in me.
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And so prayer has always been the foundation of my life and my ministry.
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Um, it's at the foundation of our church and everything that we do.
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Um, we start every meeting with prayer, we end every meeting with prayer.
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We pray over the auditorium before people come into gatherings.
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We pray over everything, and that's why we're trying to call the nation a prayer right now through Access.
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Come on.
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And Access started in your parents' basement, didn't it?
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It did.
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Access started in my parents' home.
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Um when I moved to Georgia, um, my wife and I was living in a small home, like 800 square feet.
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And my parents moved to Georgia.
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They followed us here.
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My father was sick, he was dying with cancer at the time.
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So he was about two doors down from me.
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Um at that same time, uh, I was getting ready to plant a church from scratch, which was probably one of the most difficult undertakings in my entire life.
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And it was a it was a dichotomy for me that was really difficult to deal with because on the one end, something was birthing uh in terms of ministry, but down the doors for me, something was dying.
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And um my wife and I and my kids and my mother, we would gather at my parents' home on Wednesday nights.
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We would come around my father's bed and we would just pray.
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Ask God if He would be so inclined, he would heal him.
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And uh, we did this every Wednesday night.
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And um uh three months after I planted our church, uh, my father went home to be with the Lord.
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All right, so he is healed now in glory.
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Uh, but he he did not see healing in this life, and um he never got a chance to see what I would become.
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But um one of the things he said to me before he died, um, it was one night we was in prayer, and he said to me, Um, I want you to keep prayer going.
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Some way, somehow, I want you to keep this, no matter what happens, keep a time of prayer going.
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And um, and so we did that.
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And so after he passed, we continued to gather my mother's home on Wednesday night just for prayer.
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And uh one day I was reading through the book of Acts and stumbled on that account when Peter and John, Peter and John went up to the temple for an hour of prayer.
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And uh, and something about that really gripped me.
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And so I told my family, you know, when we come together to pray, we've been here a long time.
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I'm gonna cap it at one hour, like Peter and John.
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And then so we continue to do that.
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And then when we founded our church, we carried that into the church.
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And every Wednesday night we would have an hour of prayer, and we did that for 13 years.
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And during some point in time, I gave it a name.
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I just called it access, you know, our ability to connect with God through Jesus Christ.
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And then I had this vision, man, is it possible that we can take this outside of our church and call the nation a prayer?
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And so we did that for the first time last year at State Farm Arena, uh, where 40,000 people showed up to pray for an hour, you know, and um And not just in the arena, like they're out on the streets.
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Yeah, like in the other, because they couldn't people can't fit in that arena.
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No, it was 20,000 people uh inside the arena.
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Uh we it was another 20,000 next door at the Georgia World Congress Center, and probably thousands more in the street.
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They took over our Centennial Park.
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So they turned the streets into a secret place, you know, and you know, there was some drama around that because there is a group of people that really like hate me and they came to protest and all the things.
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But the man, uh 40,000 people descended on State Farm Arena to prayer, and um the president of the arena said it was the largest gathering in State Farm Arena's history.
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Wow.
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So I'm just um I'm just thankful that Jesus has that title at a basketball game.
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So good, man.
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Let's go.
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I've got to share this this quote with you.
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Yeah, man.
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I just it's from Eugene Peterson.
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I love Eugene Peterson, man.
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He he'll he'll uh he'll he'll wreck you on some of these man.
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But he because I this so encapsulates what you're talking about.
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He said pastors who imitate the preaching and moral action of the prophets without also imitating the prophets' deep praying and worship, so evident in the Psalms, are an embarrassment to the faith and an encumbrance to the church.
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Jesus.
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Jesus.
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And well, I'll just be honest, like when I when I read that a few months ago, I was like, that's that's too true of me.
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Like I yeah, as a pastor, I've uh and just preaching in ministry, like I've I've tried to be bold in proclamation of God's word, but I've not imitated the deep prophet's deep praying and worship like I know he's inviting me to.
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Like it's it's caused some really significant changes in my life, but I just want to affirm God's grace in you in that way.
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Like that's and and unfortunately, I think it's it's pretty rare um in our church culture.
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I think uh I mean it was it used to be common, like what Martin Luther like I can't get on, I have so much to do, I can't get on with the day without spending three hours in prayer.
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Charles Simeon, four hours every morning with the Lord.
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Yeah, and uh I think today, like the average pastor prays like 15, 30 minutes of there.
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You know something, bro, but I want to affirm something in you though, you know, because when I listen to you proclaim, right, I hear a depth of love for the Lord Jesus Christ, and a depth of love for people, and a depth of love for the scriptures, right?
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And sometimes when I listen to you proclaim with that depth, you know, I felt um I felt a sense of like insecurity around when I hear men like you proclaim.
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I know that you have a PhD.
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I'm not, I don't have that type of education, that type of seminary training.
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Right.
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And I've wept over that, you know, and to me, it's made me feel insecure at times.
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It made me feel sometimes it makes me feel a little unworthy to be behind that sacred desk.
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So I think there is things that we all struggle with that we can do better.
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I think I could do better in study.
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I could do better in in reading.
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And so, you know, I just want to affirm in you, although God is doing something in you as it relates to that quote of how it's affected your prayer.
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I want to know on the other end, you know what I'm saying, your depth of study, your depth of knowledge of God's word, your depth of theology, man, has been a blessing to the body of Christ for decades, right?
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And so I want to just affirm that in you, bro.
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I I appreciate that and receive that.
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Yeah, man.
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Um and and am spurred on toward you and the way we're talking about today.
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So, yes, may we in a Romans 1 kind of way, just mutual edification and the faith.
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But yes, let's go deep in both in the word and in prayer, let's devote ourselves to these two things.
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Like that's that's pretty amazing, right?
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Acts six, like we don't even have time to care for widows who are starving.
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Yeah, not not that we don't care for those widows, and not that we we don't need to address that.
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But but there are there are there's a need for devotion to prayer and we're absolutely alongside caring for needs around us that we cannot neglect.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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And I think both of y'all, what y'all just said is it's our desire as a young person who's I look at both of you, I am number one, I thank God for what he's done in both of y'all's lives and how your ministry has impacted mine.
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And number two, if I'm honest, I don't know if jealous is the right word, but I can see your desire for prayer, your desire for the word, and as someone who is an aspirational leader to my generation, I can feel bad that I don't have this burning desire necessarily.
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I was telling you, this is what spurred on that Eugene Peterson quote.
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I can feel I don't know, I just like I don't have the desire to cultivate a prayer life, cultivate a time in the word every day, and I feel like I can just perform without without inviting the Lord into it.
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So what both of y'all, what what's what are some of the key ingredients to cultivating a life that is saturated in prayer and in the word?
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Well man, I wanna I want to just say to you, um I want to just uh affirm you to say even though you may feel that way about yourself, I feel a hunger coming off of you.
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I can just I could just sense, even though you and I have met twice, once in Mexico and once again today, I I can feel hunger coming off of you, right?
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And I think that a lot of people in your generation are so ambitious and prideful, they will not have the humility to want to learn from those who have gone before them.
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And what I see in you is a humility to want to learn, right?
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And I want to say to you and to those who may be watching of your generation that there's nothing wrong with having admiration for those who have gone before you.
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That is different from idolization.
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And I think oftentimes in our generation, we throw the word around, idolization around.
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Sometimes the devil uses that to rob us of just having a genuine admiration for people that God has for us, right?
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And I think we have to be careful about that, right?
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So I want to affirm your hunger, right?
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And I think in your hunger, I think it's beautiful when you can acknowledge the gift of God and men who has gone before you and learn from those men of God, right?
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I have this saying I say, I think only a fool learns everything by experience.
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But those who are wise, they will learn from those who have gone before them, both successes and failures.
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So I think a gift to your generation is a David Platt, right?
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A gift to your generation, maybe one day they might say as a Philip Anthony Mitchell, one day I might make it on the David Platt list.
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You know what I mean?
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I might make it on that list one day, but but when you have gifts like that that are alive, right?
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It's it's a blessing to be in their presence or to learn from them vicariously and glean from them.
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And so the things that we may be lacking, and we can see it in another man, admire that another man, and pray as God, Lord, would you help me to have a prayer life on fire like this brother?
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Lord, would you help me to have a hunger for the scriptures like this brother?
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And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
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I don't think that's idolization, I think that's wise, right?
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Imagine, think about this, right?
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Think about some of the best theology we have from the Lord Jesus Christ was a result of him answering questions from the disciples.
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Imagine that day when the disciples said to them, Lord, teach us to pray.
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Why would they say that?
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They saw something in him that they admired.
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He would slip away often to go and be alone with the Father.
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And at some point in time of watching that consistency in his life, something inside them was like, teach us how to do that, right?
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And so they saw something in Jesus that sparked in them maybe a sense of, I don't have that, but I see that in you.
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I want that, teach us how to do that.
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So I think that is wise, I think it is humble, and I think it is good that you would express that, right?
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So that you learn from men like David about depth of study and maybe from men like me about depth of prayer.
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And so I think it begins with just hunger, humility, and coachability and willingness to learn from others.
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Um, I think if you can learn in in 20 minutes what it took somebody 20 years to learn, it helps you to go much further faster.
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That's so good.
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Yeah, man.
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Thank you.
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Absolutely.
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Uh man, there's so much there.
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I I think about well, the the people, the men who have shaped you, like I'm I'm hearing you talk about your dad.
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Yeah, I really look forward to meeting your dad.
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Me too.
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I look forward to see him again.
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I really look forward to meeting him and and brother just celebrating with him the fruit of God's grace, not just in his life, but in his family, and specifically in his son.
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Man, I thank you for that, man.
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What a picture.
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Like I just picture the elation on your father's face, and the glory of that and to our father's glory.
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Like that's so who who are the other people who've shaped really or or either people or moments that have really shaped who you are.
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That's a great question.
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Um I've been shaped more by men who are dead, um, who probably I'm not sure if your generation even acknowledge, so I'ma just list a few.
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Um and then I'll talk about a couple that's alive.
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So uh men like Whitfield, uh Wesley, um Billy Graham, um, Graham Spurgeon, um men like that.
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Um men who from their writings um they just had this sense of this depth of calling, uh, where they is like something about them they knew in the way that they proclaimed and lived that they were set apart for a purpose that was much bigger than themselves.
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Men like that inspire me.
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Revivalists who have gone before me really inspired me.
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Um so a lot of people who are dead have inspired me.
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And um, men who are alive yourself.
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Um Matt Chandler, who's a brother of mine, uh, men who are serious about uh gospel proclamation, men who have had fidelity to the word of God, men who I've seen walk with a type of fear and reverence for God, whereas like they tremble before that word.
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They don't want to add to it, they don't want to take away from it.
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Men like that have really impacted my life.
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And then in terms of moments that have marked me the most, um three I can think about.
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Um the first one is when the Lord Jesus met me in a bathroom and he saved me when I was suicidal and empty at the age of 24.
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When I had all the trappings of worldly success, but I was empty on the inside, no peace.
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And uh crawled into a bathroom and started yelling at God, and God saved me in that bathroom.
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Uh so the gospel came to me in that bathroom.
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So that that moment that means a lot to me because I think that in the generation we live, there's so much materialism that has infected the body of Christ that like the cross is not enough.
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That we need God to perform to make us be thankful.
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Like, if he doesn't give us the job we want, or the house we want, or the car we want, or the spouse we want, it's like he has to keep doing backflips to make us be thankful.
00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:27.599
I don't need that, bro.
00:19:27.839 --> 00:19:32.319
I just need to get a glimpse of the cross and remember what Christ did for me there.
00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:41.920
And I oftentimes think about that moment in the bathroom, and I think about all the times I could have died before that moment and where I would have been.
00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:46.799
You know, I think about the bullet that grazed my air, I think about the foolishness I did in the street.
00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:56.240
So for me, that moment is a moment that I relive in my life all the time, and it it makes me have gratitude for salvation, apart from God doing anything else.
00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:59.359
So that moment, that's that's number one for me.
00:19:59.759 --> 00:20:21.440
Um the second moment for me would be I had an encounter with God at the garden tomb in Israel in December of 2018 when I was I was in ministry, but I was feeling like I didn't have a clear sense of identity and a handle on the gospel, and I was just searching.
00:20:21.759 --> 00:20:24.799
And I felt like, man, I'm going to Israel.
00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:27.519
And my wife, I dragged her with me.
00:20:27.839 --> 00:20:34.400
And uh, we toured the whole nation from the northern parts of Israel and the Golden Heights all the way to the southern parts of Israel.
00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:41.519
And I remember I was I was fasting and praying during that trip and just asking God to speak to me, and I heard nothing.
00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:42.640
Nothing, bro.
00:20:42.799 --> 00:20:44.079
Absolutely nothing.
00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:54.640
And on the last day, it was December 8th, the day after my birthday, I go into the garden tomb, I come out of the garden tomb, I hear like singing off to my right.
00:20:54.960 --> 00:21:03.359
And uh, it was a language I did not know, but I could I could feel God's presence, and you know, I just kind of slipped into the gathering.
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:08.079
I was the only black dude in the gathering, so I was I couldn't like I couldn't hide.
00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:12.000
And um I'm standing back there and I could feel God's presence.
00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:21.039
And the man leading the the gathering, he kind of pointed to me and he asked me, he motioned to me to come to the front and he started speaking to me in a language I did not know.
00:21:21.359 --> 00:21:30.559
And by God's divine providence, one of the gentlemen on my tour bus spoke the language of the man who was speaking was Portuguese.
00:21:31.200 --> 00:21:36.559
And so he's speaking, the brother was with me, he's interpreting, and and this is what he said to me.
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:40.319
He said to me, Young men, I've been to your nation.
00:21:41.279 --> 00:21:47.359
I see how the church is uh dying, and he's talking about compromising the church and all these things.
00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:51.279
And he says, Do you want to go back to your nation and do something about it?
00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:52.480
All right.
00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:54.400
I burst into tears.
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:59.759
I said, Yes, I fall down on my knees, and then that company of believers.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:01.519
Believers all from Brazil.
00:22:01.599 --> 00:22:06.960
They lay their hands on me, they pray for me, and a woman on the bus captures the whole thing on her phone, right?
00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:09.119
By God's grace, so I have it on video.
00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:12.000
And that moment marked me, right?
00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:23.119
That moment marked me because, David, I felt like while I was on the floor praying, I felt like I had an Isaiah 6 moment.
00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:38.880
Where for me having spent 10 days in Israel, it was like in that moment I had this clear revelation of the supreme nature of God's holiness.
00:22:39.440 --> 00:22:47.279
I was uh acutely aware of my sinful nature, and there was like this reverence came into my heart for God that wasn't there before.
00:22:47.359 --> 00:22:50.319
So I was preaching, but I didn't have a depth of reverence.
00:22:50.799 --> 00:23:00.880
And I was pastoring, but I didn't have this depth of reverence, and I had saw in Israel a type of respect for God and for the scriptures that I had not seen in the United States.
00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:05.759
And so in that moment, all of that converged in that moment, and that marked me.
00:23:05.920 --> 00:23:12.160
And um I felt like God gave me a charge to come back to the United States and cry aloud and spare not.
00:23:12.319 --> 00:23:13.200
So that was that moment.
00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:26.319
And the last one was when I went to Turkey, you know, in January 24 and realized that a part of the world that was once dominated by Christianity is no longer dominated by Christianity.
00:23:26.480 --> 00:23:30.480
And, you know, I shed tears in Turkey.
00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:34.960
And it was that moment in Turkey that gave birth to this book that I wrote called Content.
00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:39.440
So those three moments specifically, I feel like have been markers in my life.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:40.559
Yeah.
00:23:40.880 --> 00:23:41.200
Man.
00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:42.960
Isaiah 6.
00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:45.039
I was just in there like last week.
00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:46.079
Come on, man.
00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:52.880
And I loved how I mean, you got this picture of this prophet called by God.
00:23:53.119 --> 00:23:59.119
He's he's walking into this, he sees God, and he's he says, Oh my gosh, I'm a sinner.
00:23:59.279 --> 00:23:59.599
Yeah.
00:23:59.759 --> 00:24:01.839
I'm a I'm a wretched sinner.
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:02.319
Yeah.
00:24:02.559 --> 00:24:05.680
And then what does the Lord immediately say?
00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:07.119
Who's gonna go for us?
00:24:07.279 --> 00:24:07.519
Yeah.
00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:10.079
Does he keep wallowing in his self-pity and shame?
00:24:10.240 --> 00:24:10.640
Yeah, man.
00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:16.079
But like you, in that instance in Israel, when the Lord said, Will you go?
00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:19.759
You got up, and now you're you're you're producing that fruit.
00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:20.319
Yeah.
00:24:20.559 --> 00:24:26.240
So I I'm just like so grateful that you didn't hear that and say, Man, I'm just a sinner.
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:37.920
Because I think that's what a lot of people get caught up in thinking, oh man, like I am so sinful compared to someone like Pastor Philip Anthony Mitchell, someone like Pastor David Platt.
00:24:38.079 --> 00:24:41.519
I could never amount to how God has used you guys.
00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:51.279
But I think that's the that's the key is that in your sinfulness, in your wretchedness, God will meet you and he'll call you out of that.
00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:56.319
And if you have the boldness and the courage to say yes, he's gonna do crazy things.
00:24:56.559 --> 00:25:01.200
You know what's powerful about what you said too, something David said earlier that I think is very important.
00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:06.480
When David talked about his personal conviction, you know, that he wants to go deeper in prayer.
00:25:06.640 --> 00:25:23.359
You know, what's beautiful about this moment in connection to something David was saying was that I think when people have influence and when they're admired, um we rob people of hope when we put on a veneer of perfection.
00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:24.079
Right?
00:25:24.240 --> 00:25:38.319
When because when you admire someone, right, and they seem to have this veneer of like absolute perfection, there's something in younger generation that look to that man, look to that woman and think, I can never get there, right?
00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:41.039
Like this person is too holy, too far.
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:42.640
Um, I will never get there.
00:25:42.799 --> 00:25:54.799
So I think it's beautiful sometimes when people who have influence have the humility, like you just did, to just kind of peel back the curtain just a little bit, to invite people into their humanity, right?
00:25:54.880 --> 00:25:57.359
And in so doing, it gives other people hope.
00:25:57.519 --> 00:26:06.160
Well, man, if David, you know, who is known around the world for gospel proclamation, can say on a couch, man, I want to do better in my prayer life.
00:26:06.400 --> 00:26:08.960
Immediately, people listen and have hope.
00:26:09.119 --> 00:26:17.119
Or if a PAM can say he feels insecure because he doesn't have a seminary degree, he needs to be a better student of the word, it gives people hope.
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:29.839
And this is why, you know, I don't want to, you know, get into a Bible study here, but you know, this is why I love when the Apostle Paul says, you know, I boast all the more in my weaknesses that the power of Christ may be displayed in me.
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:35.279
So I think we help people by allowing them to see some of our humanity.
00:26:35.519 --> 00:26:42.640
Uh everybody can't handle all of your humanity, but I think when we when we do that every now and then, it gives your generation hope, right?
00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:45.440
Like, man, PAM struggles with insecurity, yeah.
00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:47.680
And he struggles with feeling unworthy, yeah.
00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:50.480
And and David Platt wants to have a stronger prayer life, yeah.
00:26:50.559 --> 00:26:52.000
And immediately, you know what you feel?
00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:52.720
Hope.
00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:54.559
You know what you feel immediately?
00:26:54.720 --> 00:26:55.839
You feel encouraged.
00:26:56.079 --> 00:26:59.920
This is why, this is why I love the back half of Romans chapter seven.
00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:01.039
You know what I'm saying?
00:27:01.200 --> 00:27:04.720
Like, I love we were just talking about the player, right?
00:27:04.799 --> 00:27:05.680
Like serious?
00:27:05.839 --> 00:27:08.240
Come on, I'm not Christian Man like that.
00:27:08.400 --> 00:27:09.440
Come on, exactly, right?
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:11.359
That's what I'm saying.
00:27:11.519 --> 00:27:14.559
This is why I love the back half of Romans chapter seven.
00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:16.000
The Apostle Paul, man.
00:27:16.079 --> 00:27:17.279
Yes, come on, man.
00:27:17.440 --> 00:27:25.279
Like the man who wrote almost two-thirds of the New Testament, talking about his wrestle between his sinful nature and the spirit of God.
00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:29.759
And although he doesn't get into details, man, but that gives people hope, man.
00:27:29.920 --> 00:27:30.880
You know, hope, brother.
00:27:31.119 --> 00:27:32.000
He's a wretched man.
00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:36.160
We're wretched, wretched men and women who will rescue us from this body of death.
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:38.960
Thanks be to God, Lord Jesus Christ, man.
00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:41.759
I think that's just no condemnation, no condemnation.
00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:44.000
Yes, man.
00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:46.640
Oh, back half of Roll 7.
00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:51.680
I I I would yeah, to the extent with which you're comfortable answering this question.
00:27:51.839 --> 00:28:00.799
Like when I when I wrote Radical, for example, years ago, so this book about taking back your faith from the American dream, and then it it sold a lot of copies.
00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:12.319
And I start getting invited to do all kinds like I I found myself like surrounded by like the American dream in a way I hadn't had before.
00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:17.599
Like I it it was a it was like disorienting.
00:28:17.759 --> 00:28:18.240
Yeah.
00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:26.160
So I mean, yeah, by God's grace, He's giving you influence.
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:26.960
Yeah.
00:28:27.519 --> 00:28:30.720
Based on prayer and proclamation of the gospel.
00:28:30.880 --> 00:28:31.279
Yeah.
00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:41.039
How are you wrestling with the disorienting nature of like I think about I think about even I I can't remember the exact quote, but it's another Ravenhill quote.
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:50.720
But it's like, man, the early church knew all about persecution and imprisonment, and we focus today on personality and popularity.
00:28:51.599 --> 00:29:03.119
And so how man, it there's like a system that if we're not careful can war against the very things that God's doing in our hearts.
00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:05.119
Anyway, just Yeah, man.
00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:09.599
I uh man, I mean, you had great influence from a very young age.
00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:15.359
I mean, I mean, on Wikipedia, you will always be remembered as the youngest mega church pastor.
00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:15.759
Right.
00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:17.519
I just got a Merrick right now.
00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:18.640
Merrick, right?
00:29:18.720 --> 00:29:19.039
There you go.
00:29:19.200 --> 00:29:20.720
Right, you know, at 27.
00:29:20.960 --> 00:29:23.440
Um You use a powerful word, man.
00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:25.839
You use the word uh disorienting.
00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:28.079
Man, what a powerful word, man.
00:29:28.319 --> 00:29:31.039
Uh that's how I feel.
00:29:31.200 --> 00:29:31.519
Right?
00:29:31.680 --> 00:29:34.240
I can be fully transparent, okay?
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:39.119
Man, I've been I've been preaching in the dark, let's say obscurity, for over a decade.
00:29:39.359 --> 00:29:42.559
Nobody cared about what I was doing, or whatever the case may be.
00:29:42.880 --> 00:29:44.880
And I'm a normal dude, David Bro.
00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:46.640
I'm I I'm so normal.
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:47.920
I'm a homebody.
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:50.400
I like being at home with my wife and my kids.
00:29:50.640 --> 00:29:52.960
I swim, you know, I eat fried chicken.
00:29:53.039 --> 00:29:54.720
I I I watch sports.
00:29:54.799 --> 00:30:03.440
Like I I had when when we launched 2019 in January 23, we had 183 disciples in an empty auditorium.
00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:05.759
And it shows God is my witnesses.
00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:06.559
He's above us.
00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:08.640
I had no desire for a platform.
00:30:09.279 --> 00:30:11.359
I had no desire to be known.
00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:13.599
I had no desire for a large church.
00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:16.240
I had no desire for a big Instagram following.
00:30:16.319 --> 00:30:17.599
I had no desire for any of that.
00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:22.079
So everything that I'm experiencing now, I did not ask for, had no desire.
00:30:22.559 --> 00:30:30.960
And so everything happened so fast, you know, and it is it is to this day still disorienting.
00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:42.319
And then dealing with public warfare and dealing with a life now where everyone has an opinion about everything that you do and they don't know your heart.
00:30:42.559 --> 00:30:50.640
And dealing with the fact that I have adult children and teenagers who have access to social media and they see people say things about their father and all that stuff.
00:30:50.720 --> 00:30:52.160
So it's also tough on my family.
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:54.160
It's disorienting for them too.
00:30:54.400 --> 00:31:04.640
And uh for me, to be honest, man, um there is a fear in all of it for me, but not a fear of men.
00:31:04.880 --> 00:31:06.960
I don't, I don't, I don't fear men.
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:13.359
The fear for me is cannot steward what God is doing well without getting lost in the process, right?
00:31:13.759 --> 00:31:24.559
And that fear um really um I was awakened by that fear maybe about two years ago.
00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:33.759
Um I don't I don't maybe I'm not a good pastor for this, bro, but I don't I don't look at our tenants report every Sunday and I don't look at our finance report.
00:31:33.920 --> 00:31:37.839
I just don't do it, and maybe I need to be a better pastor, but I I just don't do that.
00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:39.920
And um I don't think that makes you a bad bad.
00:31:40.160 --> 00:31:42.079
Okay, man, I I just I don't do it, man.
00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:46.160
And I don't know if I need to do it, but I just don't do it.
00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:54.000
And um it was maybe about two years ago, um our one of our directors brought me an attendance report.
00:31:54.240 --> 00:31:58.960
And attendance reports showed that we had like over 2,000 people show up for the gatherings that Sunday.
00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:03.279
I had never preached 2,000 people before, and we was in a high school.
00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:07.759
And I started feeling myself for a second, David.
00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:09.039
I was like, oh snap.
00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:17.519
Like, yo, 2,000 people showed up to hear the gospel preach in a high school, and and I was and I went home and I was ruminating over that, bro.
00:32:17.599 --> 00:32:21.440
And I was up at night, like, man, 2,000 people, does that mean we're back at church now?
00:32:21.519 --> 00:32:25.039
Like, and I'm having all of these worldly thoughts.
00:32:25.680 --> 00:32:30.640
And when I woke up in the morning, my heart was so grieved, like, yo, what's wrong with you, Philip?
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:35.039
I told Lena that afternoon, I said, yo, I gotta bounce, I gotta leave.
00:32:35.279 --> 00:32:41.519
I grabbed a jug of water from my pantry, a legal yellow pad, and my Bible.
00:32:41.759 --> 00:32:45.039
And I went and got a hotel room for five days.
00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:52.319
I fasted, I prayed, I wept, I rang out that sin from my heart.
00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:57.039
Pride, arrogance, feeling myself, man, I dealt with me.
00:32:57.359 --> 00:32:59.920
And uh, and I read the whole New Testament.
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:12.160
And I remember coming to the passage when the apostle Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, neither the one who plants or the one who waters is nothing, but only the one who brings the increase, right?
00:33:12.240 --> 00:33:14.079
And that word, nothing, right?
00:33:14.160 --> 00:33:16.640
Like when I got there, the Holy Spirit stopped me, right?
00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:17.680
Nothing.
00:33:17.920 --> 00:33:22.640
And I had to wrestle that word down to the floor and deal with that pride that was in my heart.
00:33:22.720 --> 00:33:26.000
I had to wring out that sin from my heart, and I had to remind myself, hold on.
00:33:26.160 --> 00:33:30.400
Like all that is happening right now, God is not doing that for me, per se.
00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:35.119
Like, he's doing that to bring glory to himself, and I get to be a part of that.
00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:38.400
And if I don't learn how to steward this, it's gonna ruin me.
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:48.799
And so I have to, I say all that to say the fear and the anxiety and all of it for me is not like the fear of men and all the stuff is with what God is doing.
00:33:49.119 --> 00:33:55.200
Can I stay low enough and sober enough to steward it without it ruining my head?
00:33:55.359 --> 00:33:56.960
And that's what I'm trying to do.
00:33:57.200 --> 00:34:09.679
Like, so I'm very careful to not take credit for things that God is doing and to try to deflect all the glory to him and and to lead 2019 like a steward and not like an owner.
00:34:09.920 --> 00:34:11.920
My last church, I led it like an owner.
00:34:12.079 --> 00:34:14.719
Like this church belongs to me, it's mine.
00:34:15.119 --> 00:34:20.079
I made every final decision, nothing is done without my approval and blah blah blah blah blah.
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:23.920
And it was wasn't good, you know, man.
00:34:24.400 --> 00:34:31.599
So I see 2019 as belonging to Jesus.
00:34:32.159 --> 00:34:35.039
I see access as belonging to Jesus.
00:34:35.119 --> 00:34:52.480
I see uh our crusade that we the very first one we did, and what everything we're doing as belonging to Jesus is all for his glory, is to make him know and by his grace I get a chance to be a part of it as a steward.
00:34:52.800 --> 00:35:04.639
And I want to I want to uh I want to finish well, right?
00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:23.039
Like I think about men like you have been on the battlefield for decades since you was in your twenties so with everything that's happening right now that's disorienting you think about how many people God has raised up and then they got ruined, right?
00:35:23.519 --> 00:35:25.519
And so what really is success?
00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:54.000
Is success platforms, is it a large following, is it increased finances, is it speaking at conferences around the country and around the world for some right for me, because all of it is disorienting and because this is new for me, success would be if you know I'm in my 40s, if I can make it to the end of my life, whatever age God determines that will be.
00:35:54.880 --> 00:36:05.519
And I could say with the Apostle Paul in the last letter he wrote before he was executed, that I kept the faith and that I ran my race.
00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:06.800
Right.
00:36:07.199 --> 00:36:09.760
Um I finished my race.
00:36:10.719 --> 00:36:12.000
I kept the faith.
00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:13.920
I fought the good fight.
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:34.800
If I could say that with the Apostle Paul, then for me I would have I would have survived the disoriented nature of everything that's happening right now, and then that for me would be successful to say that and then be able to take the crown I'm gonna receive and lay it at the feet of the Savior.
00:36:35.119 --> 00:36:58.559
If I can get there, David, with my character intact and my soul intact, and not allow all of what God is doing to ruin me in the process that I become a reproach to the body of Christ and men like you who maybe may admire where I am, get turned away because, like, dad, we thought that was a real one.
00:36:58.800 --> 00:37:08.880
And now look, if I can escape that and make it to the end, then I would have survived the disoriented nature of everything that's happening right now.
00:37:09.119 --> 00:37:09.599
Yeah.
00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:16.320
Brother, can I uh well I just want to speak a couple words in into you, yama.
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:21.119
Uh one from that chapter after 1 Corinthians 4.
00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:21.519
Yama.
00:37:22.159 --> 00:37:32.480
I love and just yeah, the way you use steward, what is required of us as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God.
00:37:32.719 --> 00:37:39.039
And I I I really believe this is the Holy Spirit defining success.
00:37:40.239 --> 00:37:43.840
What is required of you as a steward that you be found faithful?
00:37:44.320 --> 00:37:45.360
That's the word.
00:37:45.599 --> 00:37:58.800
And and like faithfulness means you, Austin, sharing the gospel on the streets of Austin, Texas, where you live, and abiding in Jesus and living out of the overflow and loving your local church.
00:37:58.960 --> 00:37:59.280
Yeah, man.
00:37:59.519 --> 00:38:07.519
And faithfulness for Philip Anthony means shepherding a church to love Jesus more, calling people to pray, access.
00:38:07.760 --> 00:38:09.039
We have access to God.
00:38:09.119 --> 00:38:18.239
Let's gather it, let's steward, and and stewarding the the social media and whatever, whatever, like the books, the opportunity, like faithfulness.
00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:22.000
And it's gonna look different for every single person, but that's that's like that's success.
00:38:22.159 --> 00:38:26.800
But then he goes on and he's like, uh, I don't care what you say about me.
00:38:27.039 --> 00:38:28.719
I don't even care what I think about me.
00:38:28.800 --> 00:38:32.880
Yeah, all I'm focused on, like I'm not even my own judge, you're not my judge, I'm not my judge.
00:38:33.039 --> 00:38:33.840
Jesus is my judge.
00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:34.480
Yeah, man.
00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:50.159
And uh, and so then the second thing I would I uh and this is how they overflow some things that God's been doing in my own heart um because I'm totally with you in the sense of man, I just want to hear well done, well done.
00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:51.360
Good and faithful servant.
00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:52.559
Faithful servant.
00:38:53.119 --> 00:39:08.239
Where so I'm not saying this is a challenge for you, where it's been a challenge for me, and what God's been uncovering in my heart the last few months is I have viewed God a lot through the lens of that parable of the talents.
00:39:08.480 --> 00:39:10.719
Um, like he's given me so much.
00:39:10.960 --> 00:39:14.719
I just want to steward it well, which is true.
00:39:15.760 --> 00:39:23.519
At the same time, he's reminded me like fundamentally our relationship, his relationship with me is not master of servant.
00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:24.320
That's true.
00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:29.360
I'm Lord, or he's Lord, I'm servant, but it's father and son.
00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:30.639
Gosh, bro.
00:39:30.880 --> 00:39:53.280
And I just so if I could just speak that into you, like I think the key to you hearing well done on that day is you just abiding as a servant on that day, is you abiding as a son today and tomorrow and the next day, and and you can't don't even in a sense think about tomorrow, just today.
00:39:53.920 --> 00:39:58.880
Abide as son in the father.
00:39:59.280 --> 00:40:14.960
Uh, because what it what it started developing me was a fear to your point, not necessarily what others, like a fear of I'm gonna let God down, I'm gonna fear, I fear letting others down, a fear of letting my family down, whatever, and it's like, well, if I'm if I'm experiencing any fear, that's not coming from Jesus.
00:40:15.119 --> 00:40:18.639
Yeah, that's coming from somewhere else, that's coming from an adversary.
00:40:18.880 --> 00:40:35.519
So, but if I'm just abiding in the sun, yeah, man, like resting in him today, my eyes fixed on him today, no, yeah, crucifying the flesh today, living in the sun, in the spirit, and I just want to affirm I see that in you.
00:40:35.920 --> 00:40:39.440
I see you abiding in him, and I that's the key.
00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:41.840
Just enjoying life as the sun.
00:40:42.320 --> 00:40:44.239
Man, let me let me tell you something, bro.
00:40:44.400 --> 00:40:50.159
I uh I am I am blown away that you would say that, bro.
00:40:53.920 --> 00:40:59.599
I'm blown away that you would say that because this is only something I've learned in the last three years.
00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:02.880
I've been walking with the Lord for over 21 years.
00:41:03.519 --> 00:41:13.840
I'm almost embarrassed to say maybe for the first 17 years of walking with the Lord, I almost seen him like a boss, like a taskmaster.
00:41:14.960 --> 00:41:18.480
And I probably had a fear of God that was not healthy.
00:41:18.800 --> 00:41:23.119
And so a lot of my laboring was laboring with fear, right?
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:29.599
But not understanding, and I wouldn't even like when I would go into prayer, I wouldn't even never use the word father.
00:41:30.159 --> 00:41:31.840
I would always just say God.
00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:39.760
And it was only in the last three years, and maybe pain pushed me to this place because of all the persecution I deal with.
00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:45.280
Pain.
00:41:47.760 --> 00:42:01.280
Pain made me start going into the secret place and changing my language and sitting there and saying, Father, they persecute me on account of you.
00:42:01.920 --> 00:42:20.800
And I would be praying like Psalm 86 a lot, dealing with public persecution, and and I started calling him Father, and it was difficult for me because you know, I uh I just struggle to s understand God's love as a father.
00:42:21.039 --> 00:42:22.480
I think I'm still learning it.
00:42:22.639 --> 00:42:24.559
I don't know, can we talk about this really?
00:42:24.719 --> 00:42:26.960
Like I think I'm still yes, yeah.
00:42:27.039 --> 00:42:28.000
I think I'm still learning.
00:42:28.400 --> 00:42:30.079
We can we just go all in.
00:42:30.159 --> 00:42:43.440
I I feel like I'm at the same spot, and I feel like like I've been a Christian up until now, but I feel like I was blind, but now I see like I am experiencing the love of the Father in my life in a way I've been.
00:42:43.599 --> 00:42:45.199
Man, I'm learning that right now, bro.
00:42:45.440 --> 00:42:58.239
To be honest, like in real time, yes, I'm really encountering and experiencing God as a father and trying my best to relate to him as a son and not as a servant only or as a taskmaster.
00:42:58.400 --> 00:43:01.599
So this is something that is still being worked out in me.
00:43:01.760 --> 00:43:03.119
Even like it's crazy too.
00:43:03.199 --> 00:43:15.679
Let me tell you, I shied away from this because like UVersion had asked me to do a devotion on Psalm 100, verse 5, talking about the the steadfast love of the of the Father of God.
00:43:17.920 --> 00:43:20.800
And the morning I was supposed to record for UVersion.
00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:23.840
I was supposed to record at 8 o'clock in the morning.
00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:27.519
At 755, I was texting my assistant.
00:43:27.679 --> 00:43:28.880
She's sitting right over there.
00:43:28.960 --> 00:43:36.880
I was texting my assistant and I wrote the text to say, like, I was saying, like, I want you to contact UVersion and tell them I'm not gonna do this.
00:43:37.119 --> 00:43:38.480
That's crazy at 7.55.
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:39.679
Yes.
00:43:39.920 --> 00:43:46.320
I'm not gonna do this because I don't have enough conviction in me that I can talk about the love of God like this.
00:43:46.559 --> 00:43:47.119
Wow.
00:43:47.519 --> 00:43:50.320
And I don't want to be a phony, so I'm not, I'm not gonna do this.
00:43:50.480 --> 00:43:50.639
Wow.
00:43:50.800 --> 00:44:01.840
And as I'm about to hit send, the Holy Spirit first convicts me and then gives me this supernatural download about and the This was the download I got in the moment.
00:44:02.239 --> 00:44:09.440
You have experienced hurt at the hands of fallen men who have not demonstrated the love of God.
00:44:10.800 --> 00:44:12.639
But God's love is perfect and pure.
00:44:12.719 --> 00:44:15.679
This is what I'm hearing on the inside, and it will never fail you.
00:44:15.920 --> 00:44:19.760
And you can't project your hurt from men on him.
00:44:20.079 --> 00:44:23.840
It's almost godlike said, don't project the hurt you've had from men on me.
00:44:24.079 --> 00:44:25.840
And I just sat with that and I wept.
00:44:25.920 --> 00:44:27.360
Now it's 7.57.
00:44:27.679 --> 00:44:33.679
I pull out my phone, and from 7.57 to 7.58, I write down what I'm hearing on the inside.
00:44:34.320 --> 00:44:38.000
At 7.59, I get up and I sprint to the office.
00:44:38.639 --> 00:44:43.599
I walk in here like a little bit late, 8.02 or 803 or whatever, because I don't live that far.
00:44:43.760 --> 00:44:45.039
And I said, all right, let's go.
00:44:45.119 --> 00:44:46.000
Let's do the recording.
00:44:46.079 --> 00:44:51.679
And so what I I don't even remember all what I said, but whatever I said, I had just got a few minutes before.
00:44:51.920 --> 00:44:56.559
But I was gonna shy away from doing it because of the whole love of a father.
00:44:56.639 --> 00:44:58.880
And it's like, can I talk about his love?
00:44:59.360 --> 00:45:02.480
People talking about it sound like all cushy and bougie and his love.
00:45:02.559 --> 00:45:13.519
And I thought I didn't have the willwithal to talk about that, but the Holy Spirit convicted me, reminded me, don't project, like God would say, don't project your hurt on me.
00:45:13.920 --> 00:45:17.760
My love is perfect, it will endure forever.
00:45:17.920 --> 00:45:21.360
It will not scar you the way you've been scarred by the hands of men.
00:45:21.519 --> 00:45:23.679
And I just talked about that to some degree.
00:45:23.760 --> 00:45:28.960
I don't I don't even know if I got that out right on that day, but you can't give it out like three minutes for the U version.
00:45:29.039 --> 00:45:31.519
Yeah, I just delayed was like two minutes for the U version.
00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:36.239
And it was Psalm 100 verse 5 about the steadfast love of the Lord.
00:45:36.639 --> 00:45:57.679
And so I say all that to say is I just thank you for bringing that up because even right now, in real time, I'm I'm learning to just um connect with, uh enjoy and receive from God as a father and not just like as a boss.
00:45:58.079 --> 00:45:58.320
Right.
00:45:58.400 --> 00:46:02.400
So I don't have a handle on that because I'm still learning that in real time.
00:46:02.480 --> 00:46:04.639
So I just I appreciate your affirmation.
00:46:04.719 --> 00:46:06.000
That means a lot to me, man.
00:46:06.159 --> 00:46:07.440
It means a lot to me, man.
00:46:07.679 --> 00:46:18.159
I trust that's yes, well, God, I know it's straight from his word, saying to you and to me, to us, your sons, like I delight in you.
00:46:18.320 --> 00:46:22.880
I just got finished reading uh John Owen, uh communion with the triune God.
00:46:22.960 --> 00:46:29.440
Yeah, and he goes to Isaiah 62, 5, and he talks about as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so your God rejoices over you.
00:46:30.079 --> 00:46:38.880
And he's he talks about how, like, for a married man, like the height of ecstasy in his life is his wedding day, yeah, where he is uniting his life with his bride.
00:46:39.360 --> 00:46:44.239
And then he says, he says, every day is like God's wedding day with you.
00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:45.199
Wow, Jesus.
00:46:45.360 --> 00:46:49.039
And I I thought when I first read that, I was like, that sounds so flowery.
00:46:49.199 --> 00:46:58.719
Yeah, it does until I realized, well, this is in like a 400-page theological tome on the Trinity, and and it's true, yeah.
00:46:59.039 --> 00:47:05.199
He actually does rejoice over me as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride every day.
00:47:05.360 --> 00:47:08.400
Like he is he is rejoicing over me with loud singing.
00:47:08.800 --> 00:47:12.719
He is, I mean, he is a father who delights in me.
00:47:12.960 --> 00:47:15.760
But you know, you know what's so crazy about that though, David?
00:47:15.840 --> 00:47:30.000
As you're saying that, as you're saying that, what's so powerful is that man, that reminder is so necessary for people like me and people who may be watching who struggle with insecurities or feelings of shame.
00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:44.480
Or maybe they they they disobeyed God in some past season and they feel unworthy of that level of adoration or or um or love from God, right?
00:47:44.639 --> 00:47:46.239
I even talk about this in my book.
00:47:46.400 --> 00:47:57.519
There's there's a there is uh there is a chapter in my book, chapter five, where I I I I write extensively about a five-year battle I had with depression, right?
00:47:57.679 --> 00:47:59.039
It was it was so embarrassing.
00:47:59.280 --> 00:48:01.360
I never talked about it from the pulpit, right?
00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:03.440
And I'm going somewhere with this in connection to what you're talking about.
00:48:03.599 --> 00:48:04.400
This is great, man.
00:48:04.559 --> 00:48:04.719
Right.
00:48:04.800 --> 00:48:10.480
And I spent a whole chapter writing about a five-year battle with depression while preaching, right?
00:48:10.800 --> 00:48:17.360
And I felt so embarrassed because here I am, I'm I'm preaching on Sundays, but in the dark, I'm struggling with depression.
00:48:17.519 --> 00:48:21.119
I had to see a counselor, I had medication, I had all these things.
00:48:21.440 --> 00:48:47.840
And uh, and I say that to say is because it's like there are a lot of people who let me call them silent sufferers who are walking with the walking with the Lord Jesus Christ, but feel so unworthy, so broken, so insecure that it's almost like they can't receive his love or don't want to receive his love, they almost feel unworthy of love.
00:48:48.079 --> 00:48:48.480
Right?
00:48:48.639 --> 00:48:54.960
You have some women that have been so badly abused and hurt by men, they feel even unworthy to be loved.
00:48:55.199 --> 00:48:58.320
And then you have so many men who have never been loved by a father.
00:48:58.480 --> 00:49:01.760
They've never heard a father say, I love your son, I'm proud of you.
00:49:02.079 --> 00:49:12.559
So we've dealt with so much um brokenness in our human nature that when we come into a relationship with God, some people can't connect with him as a father.
00:49:12.639 --> 00:49:14.719
Like the devil did a number on so many of us.
00:49:14.880 --> 00:49:16.400
It's hard to connect with God as a father.
00:49:16.480 --> 00:49:18.320
When we hear the word father, we think trauma.
00:49:18.480 --> 00:49:20.320
We hear the father, we think abandonment.
00:49:20.400 --> 00:49:23.920
We have father, we think rejection, we think abuse, we think whatever the case may be.
00:49:24.079 --> 00:49:36.800
So we know that Jude, in in the first century, uh somewhere around AD 60s, around there, called the body of Christ and all those who were come because he said his letter was for those who were called, kept, and beloved.
00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:40.559
So if anybody can ascribe to those three the let the messages for them, right?
00:49:40.719 --> 00:49:48.159
So we know that Jude called believers to contend for biblical Christianity, obviously, in all of our spheres of influence.
00:49:48.320 --> 00:49:53.440
But what I add to the book is that I add a chapter about contending on the inside.
00:49:54.239 --> 00:49:54.480
Right.
00:49:54.639 --> 00:50:00.719
Because I feel that for a lot of us, we need to also contend for the faith on the inside.
00:50:00.800 --> 00:50:10.320
And this is times when a good example of this would be like we're struggling with feelings of depression or we feel far away from God.
00:50:10.480 --> 00:50:16.159
And instead of dying in that dark place, we pick up the Psalms and we bury our heart in the Psalms.
00:50:16.480 --> 00:50:24.000
I can't say how many tears I've shed over Psalm 143, or when I feel like I've messed up, I go back to Psalm 51.
00:50:24.159 --> 00:50:28.320
And so my my Bible is stained with tears, especially in the Psalms.
00:50:28.480 --> 00:50:36.880
And and as we're reading the Psalms and encouraging ourselves through the writings of the of the psalmists, we're actually contending for the faith on the inside.
00:50:38.239 --> 00:50:40.239
We are almost in a sense preaching to ourselves.
00:50:40.480 --> 00:50:41.840
Why are you downcast all our souls?
00:50:42.159 --> 00:50:44.480
Downcast all my soul, literally preaching to ourselves.
00:50:44.960 --> 00:50:48.880
And so I I think there is a contending that we do, obviously, in culture.
00:50:49.039 --> 00:50:50.960
We know that because we've been called to do that.
00:50:51.119 --> 00:51:00.400
But one of the things I added to the book, which is what you were talking about, so important, is a contending we have to do on the inside, which we have to say, yes, God is loving.
00:51:00.559 --> 00:51:03.119
Yes, right, he is kind, he is a father.
00:51:03.360 --> 00:51:10.639
And when we talk to ourselves like that based on the truth of scripture, we're actually contending now on the inside for the faith on the inside.
00:51:10.880 --> 00:51:12.719
So I think there's a contending on two fronts.
00:51:12.960 --> 00:51:13.920
That makes sense what I'm saying.
00:51:14.079 --> 00:51:26.000
It makes total sense, and there's to tie them together because then when you're experiencing, like really experiencing the gospel, yeah, then of course you're driven to contend for the gospel on the outside.
00:51:26.159 --> 00:51:26.559
Naturally.
00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:40.559
But if you are living a defeated, quote unquote Christian life where you're just feeling beat down and like you're never enough for God, then what like good news do you have to share to contend for?
00:51:40.719 --> 00:51:42.400
So it's gotta be a both hands.
00:51:42.480 --> 00:51:43.360
I love that you did.
00:51:43.599 --> 00:51:45.440
Yeah, I talk about that too in the book.
00:51:45.599 --> 00:51:51.440
I I write about the fact that if we are so depleted on the inside, it's gonna be hard to contend on the outside.
00:51:51.519 --> 00:51:53.440
Yeah, so I think you can't separate the two.
00:51:53.679 --> 00:52:00.960
I think there is a there is it is a symbiotic nature between between contending on the inside that also makes us better contenders on the outside.
00:52:01.440 --> 00:52:03.519
Yeah, can I say that was my favorite part of your book?
00:52:03.679 --> 00:52:04.000
Really?
00:52:04.239 --> 00:52:05.119
That was my favorite part.
00:52:05.280 --> 00:52:05.840
That chapter?
00:52:06.000 --> 00:52:14.000
That chapter, because I had following your ministry for a couple years, not that I had seen everything else, because you got some stuff in there that I hadn't seen.
00:52:14.079 --> 00:52:17.920
No, but that specific chapter, I was like, whoa.
00:52:18.639 --> 00:52:31.679
Because I see you and I see you proclaiming the gospel with boldness and passion, and then I saw that and I read your chapter on the battle within, contending internally, and I was like, I didn't know he struggled with all of that.
00:52:31.920 --> 00:52:43.360
And so my question to you now is there were some people who you you leaned on in that time, but we only see you as this public proclaimer of the gospel.
00:52:43.760 --> 00:52:47.519
Who do you go to that gets to see your private life?
00:52:47.920 --> 00:52:49.199
Man, wow.
00:52:49.679 --> 00:53:08.880
Um The Lord to my secret place is my voice, and uh when I'm hurting, uh badly bruised from just a world of warfare, I find solace in my secret place.
00:53:09.119 --> 00:53:11.840
Um my wife, Lena.
00:53:13.119 --> 00:53:19.840
Um I lay my head on her lap more often than not, and shed tears in her lap.
00:53:20.480 --> 00:53:24.719
And uh she's very loving, kind, and gracious, and she's a good listener.
00:53:25.199 --> 00:53:27.360
And sometimes she doesn't have the answers.
00:53:27.920 --> 00:53:32.000
And um I feel like she's sometimes just a good ministry of presence.
00:53:32.159 --> 00:53:38.800
And so my wife, um I have a small group, very small group of friends.
00:53:39.039 --> 00:53:44.320
Um a small group of friends who are not impressed with my ministry at all.
00:53:44.480 --> 00:53:44.800
Right?
00:53:44.880 --> 00:53:46.159
They're not impressed at all.
00:53:46.400 --> 00:53:51.039
They know me for who I am, they knew me before 2019, they're not impressed with any of that stuff.
00:53:51.119 --> 00:53:54.159
They love me for me and not for platforms or any other things.
00:53:54.320 --> 00:53:58.960
And with them, they are like uh shoulders, I should say, for me.
00:53:59.280 --> 00:54:05.519
Where I feel safe to go and confess my sins to them and tell them I'm hurting, cry on the phone.
00:54:05.599 --> 00:54:14.639
Um some of them have flown down and sat with me in my home and and um and they would always listen, they would always encourage, they would gently correct.
00:54:14.880 --> 00:54:17.360
And so I a small group of men.
00:54:17.599 --> 00:54:33.840
And then maybe a f maybe a smaller group of men above me, I would call like accountability, who I they can rebuke me, tell me I'm seeing this wrong, and I think all of this is important because you know how the scripture says the heart is deceitful above all things, who can know it?
00:54:34.159 --> 00:54:39.920
And I think emotions are good gauges, but they could be dangerous gods if they're not checked by the word of God.
00:54:40.320 --> 00:54:56.880
And so I think when we are dealing with very what's a good word, intense emotions, I think we are wise to run those emotions through filters outside of ourselves so that we don't get led astray by some of the things that we feel.
00:54:57.440 --> 00:55:13.679
And this is why I think when we are hurting, we have to have agents to lean into that pain with us, pastors, counselors, brothers and sisters, community, spouses, godly men and women, that we invite into those painful places with us.
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:20.000
Um, I think that's very important, and then also not being afraid to invite God into those painful places.
00:55:20.079 --> 00:55:31.840
So you know when this when the when this when the psalmist said uh he says, search my heart and see if there's any, let's just paraphrase you see if there's any garbage in there and get it out of me.
00:55:32.079 --> 00:55:32.400
Right?
00:55:32.480 --> 00:55:40.159
So I I think because the heart can lead us in so many different directions.
00:55:40.239 --> 00:55:43.360
I think when it's hurting, we gotta have filters outside of ourselves.
00:55:43.519 --> 00:55:46.480
And when it's out of order, we gotta have filters outside of ourselves.
00:55:46.559 --> 00:55:47.760
So those are my filters, bro.
00:55:47.920 --> 00:56:11.360
Yeah, man, I just love I love how you said that because I'm reminded by your vulnerability and leading in that, yeah, that when I do feel super heavy, and I do feel the tendency to pull away from other people, from Christian community, from God, that that is that is the result of sin in me telling me to do that.
00:56:12.079 --> 00:56:22.000
And you you had put somewhere in in that chapter that you were afraid of looking weak in your faith during that time.
00:56:23.760 --> 00:56:25.760
I'm assuming that's that's died.
00:56:25.920 --> 00:56:34.480
But is there anything in you that's during that five-year battle with depression, what part of the old Philip had to die during that time?
00:56:40.559 --> 00:56:45.119
The part of me that was more concerned with image than authenticity.
00:56:47.599 --> 00:56:52.719
That was more worried about what men had to say about me than what Jesus had to say about me.
00:56:53.280 --> 00:56:59.280
I just thought it was kind of embarrassing to be preaching on Sunday and then be struggling with depression.
00:56:59.519 --> 00:57:06.880
I thought it was embarrassing to be preaching faith to others and dying on the inside myself, and I felt like a hypocrite.
00:57:07.119 --> 00:57:08.719
I felt like a fraud.
00:57:09.119 --> 00:57:18.000
And then even when I started taking counseling, man, like I was I would reject it counsel, and my wife was one telling me, like, honey, you need to get help, bro.
00:57:18.159 --> 00:57:19.360
This is bad.
00:57:19.599 --> 00:57:29.039
Or even taking medication, you know, and um and so the part of me that had to die was a part of me that was more concerned about appearance than reality.
00:57:29.840 --> 00:57:34.000
And I think if that part of me didn't die, I don't know if I would have survived that season.
00:57:34.480 --> 00:57:40.320
And um, and maybe there's somebody watching right now or listening who's in that same place, you know.
00:57:40.400 --> 00:57:41.119
I don't know you.
00:57:41.280 --> 00:57:45.280
You know, you're on the other side of the camera, on the other side of the microphone, I can't see you.
00:57:45.599 --> 00:57:46.639
And you're there.
00:57:47.119 --> 00:57:57.199
Um maybe you're a leader in the church, a layman, a pastor, a business professional in the marketplace, and you're a silent sufferer, you know.
00:57:57.519 --> 00:58:05.199
Just Austin and myself and David just want to take a second to encourage you to not die in that place.
00:58:05.519 --> 00:58:08.480
Don't let your pride cost you everything.
00:58:08.719 --> 00:58:10.159
Get the help that you need.
00:58:10.400 --> 00:58:15.280
You know, if you're just struggling with mental health, I know there's a lot of stigma around that in the body of Christ.
00:58:15.599 --> 00:58:16.880
Get the help that you need.
00:58:17.039 --> 00:58:18.639
If it's counseling, get that.
00:58:18.880 --> 00:58:20.719
If it's medication, get that.
00:58:21.039 --> 00:58:26.079
Get the word, get community, get honest with Jesus.
00:58:26.320 --> 00:58:28.960
And whatever agents he wants to use to help you.
00:58:29.119 --> 00:58:35.599
For me, it was it was himself, it was my wife, it was counseling, it was medication, it was community.
00:58:35.760 --> 00:58:39.039
Whatever agents he wants used to help you, I'll allow him to do that.
00:58:39.199 --> 00:58:43.039
Um, but don't die in that dark place, my brother, my sister, whoever you are.
00:58:43.199 --> 00:58:46.559
You know, don't let your pride cost you everything.
00:58:47.440 --> 00:58:54.000
Um, so yeah, I'll uh I just wanted we'll take a second to just pray for the silence for us, right?
00:58:54.079 --> 00:58:55.199
So we'll do that.
00:58:56.400 --> 00:59:20.559
Eternal God and ever wise Father, uh, we thank you that by your grace and the power of the Holy Spirit, you led Austin and David and I to this moment in our conversation uh where we're talking about those who are suffering in the dark and in silence, uh, men and women, and maybe even teenagers who are listening and watching and who are dying on the inside.
00:59:20.960 --> 00:59:33.199
We pray for them right now that you would meet them right where they are, that you would encourage them, that you would strengthen them in their inner man with might by the power of the Holy Spirit.
00:59:33.360 --> 00:59:42.320
I pray you would rob them of the lies of the devil and the stigmas by men that make them feel ashamed to get the help that they need.
00:59:42.559 --> 01:00:03.199
We pray right now you would give them the boldness, the humility, and the courage to seek you out with all of their heart, to not sanitize their prayers, but to just be honest with you in the secret place of prayer, um, to listen to those who love them, to seek out help from pastors and shepherds or counseling.
01:00:03.519 --> 01:00:11.039
And if it takes medication, God, whatever are the agents you want to use to help them, I pray you would make them open to those agents.
01:00:11.280 --> 01:00:27.920
We pray you would keep them from unaliving themselves for those who have been pushed to a place of hopelessness, and that you would bring many brothers and sisters out of that dark night of the soul and bring them back to a place of just restoration, of joy and peace and wholeness.
01:00:28.159 --> 01:00:37.840
I ask this Lord and the things I'm not smart enough to pray in the mighty and the majestic and the march name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, amen.
01:00:38.079 --> 01:00:38.719
Amen.
01:00:39.280 --> 01:00:39.920
Amen.
01:00:42.719 --> 01:00:44.000
I'm so glad.
01:00:44.400 --> 01:00:50.559
Well, one that the Lord led this conversation in that direction, but that you included that in this book.
01:00:50.960 --> 01:00:56.239
Like there is the need for the contending of the gospel without and within.
01:00:57.599 --> 01:01:12.880
Um I I want to ask you if there's anything else in particular, like I mean, you've got a whole book, um, but that you would really like to uh yeah, dive into for a couple minutes in this conversation.
01:01:13.199 --> 01:01:15.039
And so think that, think about that.
01:01:15.119 --> 01:01:21.360
But as you're thinking about that, yeah, I want to if I could speak another word and to you that's been on my heart as I've just been listening to you.
01:01:21.519 --> 01:01:24.000
Please because I don't I don't know.
01:01:24.480 --> 01:01:28.559
Uh I'm kind of out of it on a lot of social media stuff and whatever.
01:01:28.639 --> 01:01:40.400
So I don't I don't know all the when you say the persecution and the challenges and some of the pain of the last few years and and that in your life and your family.
01:01:40.639 --> 01:01:51.119
Um but I I do know, well, and you know this, but I just want to speak this yes, in your life, and I do believe this has application for everybody who's gonna contend for the gospel.
01:01:51.280 --> 01:01:53.679
It's gonna get harder, not easier.
01:01:54.000 --> 01:01:59.280
The persecution is promised, the challenges will come.
01:01:59.440 --> 01:02:00.639
Jesus made that clear.
01:02:00.800 --> 01:02:03.039
He didn't give us any illusion.
01:02:03.360 --> 01:02:12.800
The more we contend for the gospel, the harder it will get in this world, and the more uh we will be attacked by the adversary in different ways.
01:02:13.119 --> 01:02:29.039
Blessed are those who contend for the gospel, persecuted because of righteousness, and when people slander you and say all kinds of evil falsely against you on my account, rejoice and be glad.
01:02:29.440 --> 01:02:30.079
I appreciate that.
01:02:30.320 --> 01:02:37.440
Uh which feels to me like a very well, an impossible command to do like how do you how do you rejoice?
01:02:37.519 --> 01:02:43.679
Like, how do you receive criticism and like uh Luke's account says leap for joy?
01:02:44.079 --> 01:02:56.320
Like how how do you leap for joy when you do like there's no way the only way you can do that is if you're if your eyes are fixed on Jesus and the reward that he has for you, and I just want to encourage you, man.
01:02:56.559 --> 01:02:57.920
Man, I appreciate that, bro.
01:02:58.000 --> 01:02:59.280
That is a lot to me, man.
01:02:59.519 --> 01:03:03.519
Jesus and his reward are more than worth it.
01:03:03.760 --> 01:03:04.960
I appreciate that, man.
01:03:05.119 --> 01:03:07.119
Yeah, um I'm trying, I'm learning that.
01:03:07.360 --> 01:03:09.360
Yes, and that's that, man.
01:03:09.599 --> 01:03:10.719
That's a that's a fight.
01:03:10.800 --> 01:03:13.599
I I think about one moment for me.
01:03:13.920 --> 01:03:22.000
I was actually over in Nepal, and uh I couldn't sleep at night and I woke up, so I was just laying there.
01:03:22.159 --> 01:03:32.239
Uh so I instead of just laying there in bed, I got up just to spend extra time with the Lord, and uh I was having just it was one of those times of the Lord.
01:03:32.320 --> 01:03:36.320
I don't know, I don't rank my quiet times, but if I did, this would be like top five ever.
01:03:36.480 --> 01:03:40.159
And it was just the Lord just pouring out his love on me.
01:03:40.400 --> 01:03:52.559
And it was, I was a couple hours into that, I I get a text from somebody back here telling me that uh some uh a slanderous attack had really a big one had come.
01:03:52.880 --> 01:04:02.960
And uh I just smiled because if I'd have slept, I'd have woken up to that text and it'd have sent me in a tailspin.
01:04:03.119 --> 01:04:12.719
Instead, the Lord woke me up and was just covering me with his love, and uh, and I was in a and I just started weeping, like, thank you, Lord.
01:04:12.880 --> 01:04:17.679
And then then I started praying, Lord, I would love this kind of fellowship with you without that text.
01:04:17.840 --> 01:04:19.039
That would be even better.
01:04:19.360 --> 01:04:23.199
But then it was like the Lord told me, uh, yeah, that's coming.
01:04:23.360 --> 01:04:30.000
It's called heaven, like unhindered communion, no, no chat, no, nothing coming at you.
01:04:30.239 --> 01:04:35.519
But while you're here, it's actually those kind of texts that lead you to this kind of communion.
01:04:35.840 --> 01:04:55.119
And so I just if I could encourage you with that, and I I would say, bro, now I feel like I'm experiencing that used to be top five, now it's like every day, but I it but there is an intimacy with the Lord that actually doesn't come apart from that kind of attack.
01:04:55.360 --> 01:05:04.239
So I I was I'm I was laughing because I was laughing because I think you're one of the first people that shared a story like that with me.
01:05:04.559 --> 01:05:06.800
That just like it resonated so deeply.
01:05:07.119 --> 01:05:13.039
I had a I had a similar moment like that in uh it might have been in 2025.
01:05:13.519 --> 01:05:18.320
In 2025, we had just left a high school and moved into like a facility.
01:05:18.639 --> 01:05:23.360
And uh, and on this particular Sunday, it was my first time on that platform.
01:05:23.599 --> 01:05:27.519
First time hearing the sound, and I was agitated by a lot of stuff.
01:05:27.679 --> 01:05:29.360
I hadn't slept the night before, right?
01:05:29.440 --> 01:05:31.599
And I would preach three times on a Sunday.
01:05:31.840 --> 01:05:36.719
And on this particular Sunday, it was eight o'clock, and I mean this is widely known now.
01:05:36.960 --> 01:05:46.880
It was it was eight o'clock, our eight o'clock gathering, and I was telling a story about an encounter I had with a cop in New York who put a gun to the back of my head.
01:05:47.199 --> 01:05:53.679
And because I'm sleepy, I'm tired, and I'm frustrated, I framed that story in a way that caused offense to a lot of people.
01:05:54.159 --> 01:05:54.719
Right.
01:05:54.960 --> 01:05:59.760
And then in the gathering after that, and the one after that, our second and third gathering, I was in.
01:06:00.159 --> 01:06:01.679
Able to frame that story right.
01:06:01.840 --> 01:06:13.679
But before I even made it to the second gathering, I was already getting text messages and people was already saying, Man, this is bad on social media, and it was it was starting to spread all over the country and it was it was really bad.
01:06:13.920 --> 01:06:16.880
And uh and I had to take responsibility for that.
01:06:16.960 --> 01:06:20.079
So I I so I had to make a public apology.
01:06:20.400 --> 01:06:23.760
But it it seemed like now I want to say this, right?
01:06:23.920 --> 01:06:28.880
It seemed like in that moment like half the half the country was like trying to hang me on a cross.
01:06:29.199 --> 01:06:31.840
But this was happening during Holy Week, right?
01:06:32.000 --> 01:06:39.840
So it was between Palm Sunday and Resurrection Sunday, and the persecution was so bad, and I was so depressed.
01:06:39.920 --> 01:06:44.639
I left my wife and my kids and I went to an undisclosed location alone by myself.
01:06:45.280 --> 01:06:50.719
And I sat on the floor for four days and I wept, did not eat, did not move.
01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:57.920
I was so depressed and so overwhelmed by the social media attacks, and this was new for me.
01:06:58.559 --> 01:07:10.239
And I even seen like uh celebrities, people in Hollywood, like very well-known people were like it was it was really bad, bro.
01:07:10.480 --> 01:07:11.119
It was really bad.
01:07:11.280 --> 01:07:13.679
I'm like, man, I didn't even know y'all knew I existed.
01:07:13.920 --> 01:07:14.639
It was bad, bro.
01:07:14.880 --> 01:07:20.000
And that kind of way it was like even people people I had hired watch their movies, like it was really bad.
01:07:20.239 --> 01:07:21.039
Yeah, it's hard to do that.
01:07:21.199 --> 01:07:30.159
And uh, and like I was on the floor for four days, I did not move.
01:07:30.960 --> 01:07:33.039
I was crying, I was weeping.
01:07:33.440 --> 01:07:38.239
And I remember when it was on Thursday night, I got a text from my two daughters, right?
01:07:38.400 --> 01:07:45.039
And they they text me and they said, uh, they said, uh they call me father, they don't call me dad anymore.
01:07:45.440 --> 01:07:46.639
I don't know why they do that.
01:07:46.800 --> 01:07:59.119
And they said, um, they said, Father, uh we know your character, we know your heart, and we love you, and we can't wait to see you on Sunday.
01:07:59.360 --> 01:07:59.920
Right.
01:08:01.039 --> 01:08:17.359
It was that text from my daughters and another text from Matt Jen that got me off the floor, and when I got up from the floor and I sat down, and I kind of came to myself, this thought came to me.
01:08:19.199 --> 01:08:21.199
This is unfolding during holy week.
01:08:21.600 --> 01:08:24.960
In the beginning of this week, it was like, man, people really love me.
01:08:25.600 --> 01:08:29.439
And now halfway through the end of this week, people really hate me.
01:08:29.840 --> 01:08:44.000
And then this thought came to me like, man, Lord, this is what it felt like for you to be rolling into Jerusalem in the same week we commemorate where you have people throwing branches on the floor saying, Hosanna.
01:08:44.479 --> 01:08:48.560
And then by Friday, there's another crowd inside the city that's saying, Crucify him.
01:08:48.960 --> 01:08:56.880
In one week, you knew what it felt like to be uh lauded with love and then uh pummeled with hate.
01:08:57.119 --> 01:08:58.880
And then this door came to me, David.
01:08:58.960 --> 01:09:12.800
I said to myself, I said, uh, I said, um I said, Lord man, you've in this moment counted me worthy to suffer in the way that you suffered.
01:09:12.880 --> 01:09:14.479
This is what this felt like for you.
01:09:14.960 --> 01:09:25.199
And then what was tears of sorrow was almost tears of I don't know if I can say tears of joy, but tears of you've counted me worthy to suffer the way that you suffer.
01:09:25.279 --> 01:09:30.239
And now this is deepening me reading about this week in your life.
01:09:30.479 --> 01:09:42.960
I will always remember this is what it felt like for you in this week of your life, and now I am more identified with my savior, not on a mountaintop, but now in the valley of his suffering.
01:09:43.359 --> 01:10:04.000
And I feel like in that moment I was even more united to the Lord Jesus Christ through my suffering, and so, and so I never forgot that in my suffering, and then I start to see suffering almost like like a gift, like the way Paul describes it when he writes to the church in Philippians, Philippians chapter one, he uses the words suffering and grant in the same sentence.
01:10:04.479 --> 01:10:22.239
Does that right and and and here's the thing I feel like there's times when God has done more in the shaping of my character and intimacy with him through suffering than through mountaintops, like though these mountaintops, they're so fleeting.
01:10:22.479 --> 01:10:30.159
You enjoy for a moment, you celebrate, you know, there's confetti, but then you go right back down into another valley of reality of life.
01:10:30.640 --> 01:10:39.199
And the beauty in this too, David, is like it's God's kindness that he allows us to suffer like that and just suffer in life.
01:10:39.520 --> 01:10:45.680
Because if God allowed men to have utopia down here, we would have no longing for eternity, right?
01:10:45.760 --> 01:10:51.359
So when Jesus said, I went to prepare a place for you, why would we care about that if we had utopia here?
01:10:51.520 --> 01:10:51.760
Right?
01:10:51.920 --> 01:11:03.760
But there's something about suffering in this life that makes us remember, he said, Well, I have God to prepare, there is no more tears, and there is no more sorrow, no more, no more death, no more sickness, no more pain.
01:11:03.840 --> 01:11:05.520
My father's perfectly healed there.
01:11:05.680 --> 01:11:10.560
And so if everything was was perfect now and cushioned now, why would we even long for that place?
01:11:10.720 --> 01:11:19.279
Something about suffering trains the heart to remember this is not the end all, at least for the believer, we should say, you know, this is not the end all.
01:11:19.439 --> 01:11:26.560
And there is a there is a beauty in suffering for the person who's conscious to keep pointing us towards the thing that is coming that is better.
01:11:26.960 --> 01:11:34.720
Pastor Philip, yeah, when you started saying that, the Lord brought me to Romans 8, which David could just spout out because he's got it all memorized.
01:11:34.880 --> 01:11:36.319
But Romans 8.
01:11:37.039 --> 01:11:37.439
14.
01:11:38.000 --> 01:11:39.279
You got Romans 8 memorized.
01:11:39.520 --> 01:11:40.960
He's got all of Romans 1 through 8.
01:11:41.039 --> 01:11:41.439
Oh my god.
01:11:41.520 --> 01:11:41.760
Is that right?
01:11:42.239 --> 01:11:42.880
All right, let's just read.
01:11:46.239 --> 01:11:53.520
Man, well, when you were saying that, I think this is kind of like a pretty little bow that the Lord brought from the beginning of this conversation to the end.
01:11:54.399 --> 01:11:55.520
Starts in verse 14.
01:11:55.760 --> 01:11:59.359
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.
01:11:59.600 --> 01:11:59.760
Yeah.
01:12:00.000 --> 01:12:07.680
For you do not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of adoption as sons by whom we cry.
01:12:07.840 --> 01:12:09.279
Abba, Father.
01:12:09.760 --> 01:12:14.640
The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.
01:12:14.880 --> 01:12:25.119
And if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him, in order that we may also be glorified with him.
01:12:25.520 --> 01:12:29.840
So I just thought that was an awesome little full circle moment.
01:12:29.920 --> 01:12:33.039
But Pastor Phillip, I know we don't have like really any more time.
01:12:33.359 --> 01:12:37.279
But before you move from that text, come on, I think we just have to just parent that.
01:12:38.000 --> 01:12:38.560
Hold on, hold on.
01:12:38.640 --> 01:12:40.880
Before you before you move from the text, let's just sit with it.
01:12:40.960 --> 01:12:41.279
Hold on.
01:12:41.760 --> 01:12:43.039
Can we just sit with the text for one minute?
01:12:43.359 --> 01:12:44.000
Yes, we can.
01:12:44.239 --> 01:12:52.319
The fact that he like he takes sonship juxtapose suffering and then brings them together.
01:12:52.640 --> 01:12:56.880
It's almost like you are illegitimate if you have not suffered for the Lord Jesus Christ.
01:12:57.039 --> 01:13:00.479
I mean, that's that's that's I mean, that is assumed in the text.
01:13:00.880 --> 01:13:03.600
It is it is a safe assumption for us to make of the text.
01:13:03.760 --> 01:13:05.439
It is a safe presumption to make a text.
01:13:05.600 --> 01:13:11.039
He's saying, you know, if you have not suffered for Christ, there's almost like an illegitimacy there.
01:13:11.199 --> 01:13:11.920
You know what I'm saying?
01:13:12.000 --> 01:13:17.600
So there's like uh an identifying with Christ and a feeling the pain of this life, and they're married together.
01:13:17.760 --> 01:13:18.560
You know what I'm saying?
01:13:18.640 --> 01:13:21.039
And so I think that's so powerful in the text.
01:13:21.199 --> 01:13:24.319
And I I just I don't know, I just wanted to kind of point that out there.
01:13:24.399 --> 01:13:25.279
I think it's very important.
01:13:25.520 --> 01:13:26.079
Yes, yes.
01:13:26.720 --> 01:13:29.359
This is what it this is part of what it means to be in the sun.
01:13:29.760 --> 01:13:34.560
Yeah, and I think we could if we it text like that, we could find joy to some degree in our suffering.
01:13:34.640 --> 01:13:38.720
If we see it right through the God's word, hold on.
01:13:39.439 --> 01:13:41.520
We need to make one disclaimer here.
01:13:41.760 --> 01:13:45.359
There's a difference between suffering for foolishness and suffering for righteousness.
01:13:45.680 --> 01:13:46.239
Yeah, that's ridiculous.
01:13:46.720 --> 01:13:54.399
We're not, yes, we're not, at least I'm not, we're not talking about suffering because of bad decisions and sinful behaviors and licentiousness.
01:13:54.479 --> 01:13:55.279
That's not what we're talking about.
01:13:56.079 --> 01:13:59.680
We're talking about suffering for righteousness and for the gospel, yeah.
01:14:00.000 --> 01:14:03.680
And then in that we can say, Yes, I'm more identified with my savior.
01:14:03.840 --> 01:14:05.520
So I just think we need to throw that out there.
01:14:05.680 --> 01:14:16.079
Yes, yeah, and uh all right, just to make the connection the with how it just continues on, and all these things we know our God is working together for good.
01:14:16.159 --> 01:14:17.199
And what is the good?
01:14:17.600 --> 01:14:24.159
The good is those he predestined, he conformed to the light, he predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his son.
01:14:24.319 --> 01:14:24.720
Yeah.
01:14:24.880 --> 01:14:29.600
So it's actually it's making us, yes, it's making us look more like the sun.
01:14:29.920 --> 01:14:38.000
Yeah, the all the things, everything we're walking through in life, yeah, is making us look more like Jesus, which is our highest good.
01:14:38.479 --> 01:14:40.880
So and which is the end goal of Christianity.
01:14:41.039 --> 01:14:41.279
Yes.
01:14:41.520 --> 01:14:47.520
Not to be rich or famous or get a bag is that when we die, we'll look more like the person who saved us.
01:14:47.760 --> 01:14:54.720
And I think pain and suffering, all the things work so much stuff into our character that conforms us more into the image of the sun.
01:14:55.199 --> 01:14:55.840
Yeah, someone.
01:14:56.159 --> 01:14:58.159
What then shall we say in response to that?
01:14:58.319 --> 01:14:59.039
Man, come on, man.
01:14:59.199 --> 01:14:59.680
Come on, bro.
01:15:02.880 --> 01:15:03.520
God is for us.
01:15:03.600 --> 01:15:05.279
You can before, man.
01:15:05.439 --> 01:15:07.920
We are more than congress who loved us.
01:15:08.000 --> 01:15:19.439
Like death or life, angels or demons, present, future, any powers, height through death, anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God our Father in Christ Jesus the Son.
01:15:19.600 --> 01:15:20.720
Man, I gotta get my game up.
01:15:20.800 --> 01:15:22.560
I'm about to I gotta memorize.
01:15:22.800 --> 01:15:26.399
I gotta memorize solid time.
01:15:26.560 --> 01:15:27.520
I gotta give my game up.
01:15:28.000 --> 01:15:29.119
I'm not on David Platte.
01:15:29.279 --> 01:15:30.000
Stop it, stop it.
01:15:30.239 --> 01:15:35.039
Ain't nobody is content standing boldly for biblical truth while winning the war within.
01:15:35.119 --> 01:15:35.279
Amen.
01:15:35.600 --> 01:15:44.079
Uh, brother, thank you for uh uh the labor that goes into this uh in ways that will bear fruit.
01:15:44.239 --> 01:15:59.680
I I I pray that as you are on a date night with your wife, uh multitudes of people will be reading this, and while you're on a date night with your wife, they'll be drawing closer to Jesus and learning to contend for the gospel uh uh within and without.
01:15:59.920 --> 01:16:00.880
It's important, man.
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Well, you know, we live in a time a lot of false gospels, leading a lot of people astray, a lot of people to destruction and damaging the witness of Christ.
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And I think probably the greatest threat to the church is the pulpit and the people who stand behind it, who are not true servants of Christ.
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And we have to contend in this hour.
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Our children, our grandchildren are gonna suffer the cost of our complacency.
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And so I just want to stick that in there.
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Yeah, could you pray?
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Could pray us out for Toward that end both external and internal.
01:16:38.239 --> 01:16:39.680
You pray, and then I want to pray too.
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Let's go.
01:16:40.560 --> 01:16:41.520
Maybe I just let David pray.
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No, no, no, I just brother.
01:16:44.640 --> 01:16:49.600
Yeah, um uh eternal God and ever wise father.
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Uh I thank you for this time you've allowed me to spend with my brothers as we've talked about your word and exalted the Son and uh talked about contending the message you put in the heart of Jude in the first century, and the message, Lord, that has come alive again in the book that you've put in my heart.
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And I just want to pray in this hour you would awaken the body of Christ.
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I want to pray that you would pull her away, God, from the detours and demonic delusions.
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I want to pray you would deliver her from the antics and the shenanigans and the apathy and the lethargy and the foolishness that is infiltrating the church.
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Deliver us from false gospels and false messages that are packaged well but are heretical in nature.
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Give us a deep love for the scriptures and a deep love for your presence and give us a burden for the church.
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Let us be like the sons of Issachar who rightly discerned the times and knew what to do about it.
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And I just pray, God, you would set the church on fire to stand boldly for biblical Christianity in this hour.
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And I pray for my brothers that you would bless their podcast, bless this platform through radicals, and it will continue to be a blessing in this generation as they stand boldly for the gospel and for your son.
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I ask this in the mighty and the majestic and the matchless name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
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Amen.
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Amen.
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And Father, our Father in heaven.
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We are so glad to be your sons and daughters.
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We're so glad to be your bride, Lord Jesus, that you that every day like your wedding day with us.
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We we clearly don't deserve that.
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We praise you.
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We praise you for all of our all the stories, for how you met Pastor Philip on a bathroom floor, and you changed his heart.
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You regenerated, you brought him from death to life.
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We pray for anybody who's not had that moment, that even this moment would be that moment.
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Please, God, please save, save from sin and self and death, bring from death to life through you, Jesus, through not through works, not through effort, through faith, through trust in you by your grace and what you have done, Jesus, who you are, what you've done for us, your life, your death, your resurrection.
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We praise you, Jesus as Lord, Savior.
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Yes, God.
01:19:46.159 --> 01:19:59.039
And and then, oh God, triune, God, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, for the invitation you've given all of us to join with you in your work in this world.
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Yes, God.
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Making your love known, building up your church.
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Oh, God, thank you.
01:20:05.680 --> 01:20:20.079
Thank you for that invitation in Austin's life, in my life, and Pastor Phillip's life, and in every single person who's listening to this, that they would just in a fresh way feel the wonder of your invitation to join with you in what you're doing.
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And we just pray 1 Corinthians 4 over each other as servants of Jesus, stewards of the mysteries of God, and sons and daughters of yours, may we be found faithful.
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Only by your grace, God, only by your grace is that possible.
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We pray we are weak.
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You alone are strong, Jesus.
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So we we pray uh that by your grace we would abide in you.
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You would abide in us as you promise.
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Yes, Lord.
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We would rest in you, in the yoke with you, and Jesus lead us.
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We pray that over Pastor Philip, lead him in the yoke with you, keep his eyes fixed on you.
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Uh walking, resting, running the race that you have set for him today and tomorrow and the next day.
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And we pray with him that he would abide in you, you and him, day after day after day, until the day when he sees your face and lays crowns at your feet.
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We we pray for your favor, for your blessing, for your grace.
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Psalm 67, be gracious to him, bless him, cause your face to shine upon him, his wife, his children, his church family, the ministry you've entrusted to him, those who serve alongside him, may your favor rest on them so that your ways may be known on the earth, and your saving power known among the nations through them, so that Jesus, you might be exalted.
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Yes, God, you becoming greater, they becoming less uh in every way.
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And we we pray that over each other, all of us.
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God, may it may be so.
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We love you, God.
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We love you, we praise you, triune, God.
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Yes, Lord.
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We pray all this in the name of Jesus, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.
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Amen.
01:22:17.439 --> 01:22:17.840
Amen.
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Amen.
01:22:18.560 --> 01:22:18.880
Amen.
01:22:19.119 --> 01:22:19.520
Amen.
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Come on.
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Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of Everyday Radical.
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We pray that it encouraged, equipped, and empowered you to make Jesus known everywhere.
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