ABOUT THIS EPISODE
This one's for anyone who's mastered the art of looking fine while quietly falling apart behind the scenes.
More info, resources & ways to connect - https://www.tacosfallapart.com/podcast-live-show/podcast-guests/lisa-lacy
Lisa Lacy spent three decades in corporate education and healthcare consulting before she started writing about the things most people keep locked away: addiction, psychosis, trauma and what she calls identity masking, the gap between who you actually are and who you become just to get through the day. She's also written her debut memoir, Notes from a Certified Mad Woman, along with a companion guide, and she joined MommaFoxFire on Even Tacos Fall Apart to talk about performing fine and what it actually costs.
This episode digs into the difference between adapting to a room and disappearing inside a mask. Lisa is clear that we all shift a little depending on where we are. You don't bring the same energy to a board meeting that you bring home to your partner. That's normal. The dangerous mask is the polished one, the six figures and the perfect blended family on social media while you're falling apart behind the scenes in total silence.
Lisa and MommaFoxFire talk about why high functioning people often get checked on the least. When you're the one who gets everything done, everyone assumes you're fine, so nobody asks. Lisa breaks down why shame keeps people quiet even when they know something is wrong, and she gives real language for closing that gap: acknowledgement, awareness and observation. She makes the case that just noticing the pattern is most of the work.
They cover how to support a high functioning person in your life without making things worse, starting with asking permission before you share an observation instead of walking in with unsolicited advice. Lisa also lays out what actually makes someone a safe person to open up to, someone with a track record of lifting you up instead of draining you or judging you.
Lisa gets honest about her own ten year recovery journey, starting inpatient rehab at forty, and she talks through psychosis from the inside, what it's like to live inside another reality that felt completely real while it was happening. She pushes back on the idea that mental health struggles make someone defective or that struggling is some kind of moral failure. It's real. It exists. That's it.
There's a lot of practical stuff in here too. Lisa is a martial artist with belts in three disciplines and she connects that training to staying regulated instead of reactive. She talks about the power of a long exhale when anxiety hits, why building your coping toolbox before you hit a low matters more than scrambling for it in the moment, and why she believes emotional intelligence, especially willingness and curiosity, matters more for a good life than IQ ever will.
This one hits close to home for anyone who has ever looked completely fine on the outside while quietly falling apart on the inside. Lisa's bottom line carries the whole episode: always one more day, always one more try. Today is not the day to give up.
