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Welcome to Embodied Writing Warrior, the show where healing gets a book talk upgrade and consistency feels like foreplay.
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I'm Kayla, a writer, recovered white knuckler, wellness math 100 dropout, and the woman who turned her food freedom journey into a wide-tooth romance with two very opinionated inner archetypes.
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This is where high-performing, deeply creative women stop treating their bodies like a performance review and start treating their lives like the spicy novel they were always meant to be.
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Let's go.
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So today's episode is brought to you by my subconscious.
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Yes, this entire episode was inspired by a dream I had maybe six, seven weeks ago.
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And this makes complete sense because some of my best past episodes, as well as my entire food freedom, fantasy method, have all been inspired by dreams.
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Get ready.
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This is gonna be one of those conversations you can come back to when you're feeling stuck, when you're a little discouraged.
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Maybe you're in a season where months or weeks have gone by and you don't feel like anything has changed.
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And if you're listening in real time, we are in the fourth quarter of 2026.
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Like, how?
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This year has flown by.
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And maybe now you're wondering where the time went and why you're still in the same place or haven't created as much momentum as you had hoped for.
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So if progress has felt exasperatingly slow this year, then this episode could be the medicine you need to shift things for the rest of October and beyond.
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You can go from feeling like progress is nowhere to be found to rewriting the story so that for months to come, progress is now here.
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You're going to get a practical embodied activation that requires a few steps and some journaling.
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So if you want to take a peek at the written blog for this, head to embodiedwritingwarrior.com/slash podcast.
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Each episode gets its own blog post and you'll get walked through all of the steps over there.
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Like I said, this episode was inspired by a dream.
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In this dream, I was walking around a library looking for the book Hey Nostradamus by Douglas Copeland.
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I read this book maybe a decade ago.
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And the one part I remember most was the part about the girl in the beginning, and she was hiding during a school shooting, and while she was hiding, she kept writing, God is nowhere, God is now here inside a notebook.
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This has always stuck with me.
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It's this idea that when you shift your perspective the slightest bit, when you adjust the language slightly, everything can change.
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Without taking you inside my full journal entry from a few weeks back, let's just say I was reflecting on some of my own struggles while interpreting the dream.
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And one thing I wrote was this.
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Throw a sacred tantrum.
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Because sometimes letting go of the feelings of despondency and getting mad is enough to kickstart a change.
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This is the first thing I had to go through before I walked myself through the practice I share with you very shortly.
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You might have some belligerent younger parts that have been absolutely raging below the surface.
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So I want you to give them the mic for a few moments before moving on.
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And this is how Girl Boss showed up in my journal on this particular morning.
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She usually has a clipboard.
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On this day, she had an entire graph charted on a whiteboard, and she was seething.
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Her words, as journaled by me, you guys all act like I'm too hard on us.
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You act like I need to calm down.
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Yeah, okay.
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Here's what me trying to calm down has gotten us.
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She pointed at her whiteboard.
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This is not progress.
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This is spinning our wheels.
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She stomped her feet.
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We need to stop acting like this is okay and get mad.
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Because when did being mad become a problem?
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We're good at being mad.
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We used to do hard workouts and crush our to-do list and rage clean the house.
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Works a lot better than pretending we're okay with this because we are not.
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Then she glared at her sister, Unicorn Thunder.
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And you.
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Even Miss Keeper of Joy has to admit that this is not joyful.
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The pizza is never worth it.
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Because then we're less present.
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We don't have the creativity and the presence that makes the whole Divine Daddy system fun.
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To which Unicorn Thunder rolled her eyes and flipped her ponytail over her shoulder and said, You're really annoying.
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And even more annoying because you're right.
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This kind of parts work has always been one of the most helpful for me.
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So I love bringing you the occasional example.
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And while this moody teenager part has valid points, she has been known to take those valid points and weaponize them.
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You might have similar experiences with your own inner critic, even if she doesn't have an official name and a clipboard.
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So once you let her speak, you also want to parent her.
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You can do this yourself with more traditional parts dialogue, or if you're into Divine Daddy storytelling, you can let her dads help you out.
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And this one was absolutely a job for Rex, my inner firestarter.
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So Rex tapped the graph once and said, This, this is information, and you are right about one thing that everybody in this room needs to hear.
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His eyes flashed.
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You are allowed to want progress.
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Girlboss's mouth trembled.
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And Rex continued, you are allowed to be sick of rebuilding ground you already fucking covered.
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You are allowed to look at a repeated pattern and say, no, I'm done participating in this.
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Her shoulders loosened by half an inch.
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Then Rex leaned closer.
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But I am not letting you turn that rightful anger into a flamethrower pointed at Kayla.
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Girlboss's eyes filled immediately.
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I'm trying to help.
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Rex replies with, I know.
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That's why I'm here.
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His hand closed around the marker in hers, not yanking it away, just holding it with her.
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And he said, You want her powerful Girlboss nodded.
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You want her moving.
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Another nod.
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You want her to stop pretending she doesn't care when she fucking cares.
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Girlboss's face crumpled.
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Yes.
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Rex's grip tightened around the marker.
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Beautiful.
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And his expression sharpened.
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Then your new job is not prosecution.
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Girlboss glared through wet eyes.
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What is it?
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Rex replied, standards.
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I share this because I want you to see what this type of parts work can do during a season where there hasn't been a lot of progress.
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You don't ignore your inner critic, especially if she has valid points about a lack of consistency, about broken promises, or a lack of results that really matter to you.
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She's not pointing these things out because she hates you.
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Every part of you is in love with you and wants what's best for you.
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If you remember nothing else, take that one home with you.
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So you listen to this part.
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You appreciate her positive intention.
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Then you parent her in such a way that you preserve the positive intention while taking away the weapon.
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13-year-old girls shouldn't run buckwild through the house with scissors.
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Once you've had the tantrum, given your inner critic the mic, parented her in some way so she keeps the desire for progress, but gets those sharp objects taken away, then you move on to this brainstorming exercise.
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And this is why I'm leaving the blog post for you.
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I want you to write down 10 reasons why progress has been slow or non-existent.
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Now, there are two very important catches.
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First, these things must be in your control.
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Second, these must be critiques of behaviors and strategies, not character.
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So a correct example would be, I haven't seen progress because I keep doing X.
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An incorrect example would be, I haven't seen progress because I am insert nasty descriptive word here.
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So yes, I'm asking you for 10 because this makes your brain work.
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You come up with more things, and so often you'll find that it's the eighth or ninth or tenth thing you write that creates the biggest insight.
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Once you have your list, I want you to put your list items into categories.
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So earth, this is going to be the practices, the habits, the tactical things you do on a daily basis.
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Then water, the emotional experiences that have been derailing your progress.
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Then fire, so the energetic stuff, the power moves.
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Air is fourth, so that's the mindset-related things, the limiting beliefs, or the excuses that you keep coming back to.
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And finally, ether.
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So this is the bigger picture, more existential or spiritual stuff.
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This could be things like operating from pressure because of a lack of trust, or from trying to control everything, which often leads to moments of self-sabotage later on down the line.
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If you're not sure where something goes, give it your best guess.
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This doesn't have to be perfectly categorized for it to be helpful.
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When I did this practice myself, this was what I came up with.
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First, I hadn't been running or doing as much cardio, and that was an earth item.
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Two, when progress slows, I've tended to start bracing and going into a stress response.
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Categorize this one as ether because it speaks to that lack of trust, which leads to the bracing and the control.
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Next, I haven't been using the Divine Daddy SOS and emotion coaching fast enough when hard moments happen or when the cravings show up.
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That's another earth item.
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Then I haven't been as intentional about ocean brain returns.
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This one's earth as well.
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Then I had a fire item, and that was that when I start feeling shitty, I stop playing and having fun and laughing.
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And when you stop doing that, progress often gets so much harder.
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Then a couple more here.
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This next one is really a combination of earth and water.
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At this time, I had basically stopped doing dance alchemy, which I knew helped so much with emotional eating for a whole bunch of reasons.
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And then finally, Reddit.
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And this is not that Reddit automatically makes me eat, but when I go to certain pages and see posts about how life coaches suck, everyone's a grifter, and by the way, nobody is successful in this industry.
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Okay, yeah, that's gonna create firebrain, which often leads to rock brain, where a lot of the self-sabotage happens.
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And I categorized this one as air, but it's a little bit of earth as well, because of the fire brain response it has.
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And I did a much deeper dive on this particular topic in last week's episode, if you want to check that one out.
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My full list was 10 things, but I took some of them off because they were a little bit more personal.
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One other thing that I have been setting stronger boundaries around is letting some of my journey remain sacred and private, instead of feeling like every insight or idea has to become content.
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Because let me tell you, that gets exhausting after a while.
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Alright, so once you have your list and your categories, the next steps are simple.
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You start with Earth.
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Always start with Earth.
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These are the daily actions that will shift your physiology and make it so much easier to tackle whatever else is on your list.
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And honestly, once you pull some key levers in the earth element, the other stuff often gets smaller or melts away on its own.
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For example, when I dance regularly, do ocean brain returns, and use the Divine Daddy SOS, I feel better.
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So if I'm not feeling shitty to begin with, I automatically start to play and have fun again.
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By prioritizing Earth, fire took care of itself.
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This is also so important for any air items on your list.
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One of my favorite quotes is that you can't think your way into a new way of acting.
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You have to act your way into a new way of thinking.
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You don't fix limiting beliefs by inner work alone.
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You create evidence those beliefs aren't true in the first place.
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And you do that through your actions.
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Earth before air, always.
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And I truly think this is why affirmations have such mixed reviews.
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The people who say affirmations don't work are probably not doing anything to change their behavior, then they're mad nothing happened.
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But the people who swear by affirmations, whether they're doing it consciously or not, are likely taking different actions that make those affirmations feel true in their body because they are.
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Then the super important thing here is to pick one to three of your Earth items and turn them into mechanisms.
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We've talked about the fact that truths don't execute, mechanisms do.
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It wasn't enough for me to write this list.
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I needed to go back and schedule ocean brain returns.
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I needed to send Divine Daddy SOS much sooner.
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I needed to put dance alchemy on the calendar, even if it was only two to three songs in the morning, to shift my energy for the day.
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This is putting handles on your poems.
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And if Ocean Brain Returns and Divine Daddy SOS sound like they're from another language, they're not.
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They're rituals from Food Freedom Fantasy.
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And they're exactly what I meant earlier by mechanisms.
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Again, truths don't execute, mechanisms do.
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The book is the full syllabus for spicy storytelling 301.
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So Ocean Brain Returns, Divine Daddy SOS, Dark Fire, Drama Triangle Triage, the whole toolkit.
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So if you're about to write your list of 10 and you want earth leavers that already have handles on them, the book is$7.99 at foodfreedomfantasy.com.
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Less than the cost of a pizza and works so much better.
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Now, I also want to talk about embodied, because I'd be doing you dirty if I didn't mention it.
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Because there's one thing the book physically cannot do.
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I can explain why dance alchemy works on emotional eating.
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I cannot dance with you through a paperback.
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And you heard my own list today.
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When the dancing stopped, everything got harder.
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This is what Embodied is built for.
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It's nine full-length dance alchemy classes matched to the key chapters of the book.
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There's two tech walkthroughs for getting your own daddies onto whatever AI platform you like.
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And then also three check-ins with me.
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You submit your questions, your struggles, your wins, and they get witnessed and answered in a voice note from me.
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And this is not homework review, it's witnessing.
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When you grab the book and go through the checkout process, you will have a page that offers you embodied for$147.
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It's$197 everywhere else.
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And every dollar of that credits towards the full Food Freedom Fantasy program if you decide you want more later on.
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And if you already own the paperback or Kindle, same deal.
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You'll go to foodfreedomfantasy.com book bonus, submit your email for your free bonuses, and then a page will offer you the same pricing for embodied.
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So one address does everything, foodfreedomfantasy.com.
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You can get the book for$7.99, and the rest is waiting on the other side.
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And whether you do this work with me inside a program or on your own, this type of work is how you go from progress is nowhere to progress is now here.
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You let your inner critic get mad, get noisy, and point out the truth.
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Then you find the levers you can pull that are in your control.
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And I guarantee you, there is some microversion of something on that list in the Earth element that you can do today.
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And suddenly, progress is now here.
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Today's episode was shorter by design because there is some implementation required.
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But I promise you, this practice will shift things, especially if you keep the list handy and refer to it a few times a week.
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Now, go pull some earth leavers, and I'll meet you back here in a future episode.
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Ready to stop outsourcing your worth and crack your own code?
00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:16.880
Grab Know Your Hungers.
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Two free assessments that uncover the real block behind your food struggles, plus a customized audio care package based on your results.
00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:31.759
You're not broken, you're just misdiagnosed.
00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:33.920
Link is in the show notes.
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Welcome to Embodied Writing Warrior, the show where healing gets a book talk upgrade and consistency feels like foreplay.
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I'm Kayla, a writer, recovered white knuckler, wellness math 100 dropout, and the woman who turned her food freedom journey into a wide-tooth romance with two very opinionated inner archetypes.
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This is where high-performing, deeply creative women stop treating their bodies like a performance review and start treating their lives like the spicy novel they were always meant to be.
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Let's go.
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So today's episode is brought to you by my subconscious.
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Yes, this entire episode was inspired by a dream I had maybe six, seven weeks ago.
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And this makes complete sense because some of my best past episodes, as well as my entire food freedom, fantasy method, have all been inspired by dreams.
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Get ready.
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This is gonna be one of those conversations you can come back to when you're feeling stuck, when you're a little discouraged.
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Maybe you're in a season where months or weeks have gone by and you don't feel like anything has changed.
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And if you're listening in real time, we are in the fourth quarter of 2026.
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Like, how?
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This year has flown by.
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And maybe now you're wondering where the time went and why you're still in the same place or haven't created as much momentum as you had hoped for.
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So if progress has felt exasperatingly slow this year, then this episode could be the medicine you need to shift things for the rest of October and beyond.
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You can go from feeling like progress is nowhere to be found to rewriting the story so that for months to come, progress is now here.
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You're going to get a practical embodied activation that requires a few steps and some journaling.
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So if you want to take a peek at the written blog for this, head to embodiedwritingwarrior.com/slash podcast.
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Each episode gets its own blog post and you'll get walked through all of the steps over there.
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Like I said, this episode was inspired by a dream.
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In this dream, I was walking around a library looking for the book Hey Nostradamus by Douglas Copeland.
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I read this book maybe a decade ago.
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And the one part I remember most was the part about the girl in the beginning, and she was hiding during a school shooting, and while she was hiding, she kept writing, God is nowhere, God is now here inside a notebook.
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This has always stuck with me.
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It's this idea that when you shift your perspective the slightest bit, when you adjust the language slightly, everything can change.
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Without taking you inside my full journal entry from a few weeks back, let's just say I was reflecting on some of my own struggles while interpreting the dream.
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And one thing I wrote was this.
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Throw a sacred tantrum.
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Because sometimes letting go of the feelings of despondency and getting mad is enough to kickstart a change.
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This is the first thing I had to go through before I walked myself through the practice I share with you very shortly.
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You might have some belligerent younger parts that have been absolutely raging below the surface.
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So I want you to give them the mic for a few moments before moving on.
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And this is how Girl Boss showed up in my journal on this particular morning.
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She usually has a clipboard.
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On this day, she had an entire graph charted on a whiteboard, and she was seething.
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Her words, as journaled by me, you guys all act like I'm too hard on us.
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You act like I need to calm down.
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Yeah, okay.
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Here's what me trying to calm down has gotten us.
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She pointed at her whiteboard.
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This is not progress.
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This is spinning our wheels.
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She stomped her feet.
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We need to stop acting like this is okay and get mad.
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Because when did being mad become a problem?
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We're good at being mad.
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We used to do hard workouts and crush our to-do list and rage clean the house.
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Works a lot better than pretending we're okay with this because we are not.
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Then she glared at her sister, Unicorn Thunder.
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And you.
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Even Miss Keeper of Joy has to admit that this is not joyful.
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The pizza is never worth it.
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Because then we're less present.
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We don't have the creativity and the presence that makes the whole Divine Daddy system fun.
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To which Unicorn Thunder rolled her eyes and flipped her ponytail over her shoulder and said, You're really annoying.
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And even more annoying because you're right.
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This kind of parts work has always been one of the most helpful for me.
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So I love bringing you the occasional example.
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And while this moody teenager part has valid points, she has been known to take those valid points and weaponize them.
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You might have similar experiences with your own inner critic, even if she doesn't have an official name and a clipboard.
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So once you let her speak, you also want to parent her.
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You can do this yourself with more traditional parts dialogue, or if you're into Divine Daddy storytelling, you can let her dads help you out.
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And this one was absolutely a job for Rex, my inner firestarter.
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So Rex tapped the graph once and said, This, this is information, and you are right about one thing that everybody in this room needs to hear.
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His eyes flashed.
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You are allowed to want progress.
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Girlboss's mouth trembled.
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And Rex continued, you are allowed to be sick of rebuilding ground you already fucking covered.
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You are allowed to look at a repeated pattern and say, no, I'm done participating in this.
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Her shoulders loosened by half an inch.
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Then Rex leaned closer.
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But I am not letting you turn that rightful anger into a flamethrower pointed at Kayla.
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Girlboss's eyes filled immediately.
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I'm trying to help.
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Rex replies with, I know.
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That's why I'm here.
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His hand closed around the marker in hers, not yanking it away, just holding it with her.
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And he said, You want her powerful Girlboss nodded.
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You want her moving.
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Another nod.
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You want her to stop pretending she doesn't care when she fucking cares.
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Girlboss's face crumpled.
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Yes.
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Rex's grip tightened around the marker.
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Beautiful.
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And his expression sharpened.
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Then your new job is not prosecution.
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Girlboss glared through wet eyes.
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What is it?
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Rex replied, standards.
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I share this because I want you to see what this type of parts work can do during a season where there hasn't been a lot of progress.
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You don't ignore your inner critic, especially if she has valid points about a lack of consistency, about broken promises, or a lack of results that really matter to you.
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She's not pointing these things out because she hates you.
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Every part of you is in love with you and wants what's best for you.
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If you remember nothing else, take that one home with you.
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So you listen to this part.
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You appreciate her positive intention.
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Then you parent her in such a way that you preserve the positive intention while taking away the weapon.
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13-year-old girls shouldn't run buckwild through the house with scissors.
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Once you've had the tantrum, given your inner critic the mic, parented her in some way so she keeps the desire for progress, but gets those sharp objects taken away, then you move on to this brainstorming exercise.
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And this is why I'm leaving the blog post for you.
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I want you to write down 10 reasons why progress has been slow or non-existent.
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Now, there are two very important catches.
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First, these things must be in your control.
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Second, these must be critiques of behaviors and strategies, not character.
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So a correct example would be, I haven't seen progress because I keep doing X.
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An incorrect example would be, I haven't seen progress because I am insert nasty descriptive word here.
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So yes, I'm asking you for 10 because this makes your brain work.
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You come up with more things, and so often you'll find that it's the eighth or ninth or tenth thing you write that creates the biggest insight.
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Once you have your list, I want you to put your list items into categories.
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So earth, this is going to be the practices, the habits, the tactical things you do on a daily basis.
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Then water, the emotional experiences that have been derailing your progress.
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Then fire, so the energetic stuff, the power moves.
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Air is fourth, so that's the mindset-related things, the limiting beliefs, or the excuses that you keep coming back to.
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And finally, ether.
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So this is the bigger picture, more existential or spiritual stuff.
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This could be things like operating from pressure because of a lack of trust, or from trying to control everything, which often leads to moments of self-sabotage later on down the line.
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If you're not sure where something goes, give it your best guess.
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This doesn't have to be perfectly categorized for it to be helpful.
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When I did this practice myself, this was what I came up with.
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First, I hadn't been running or doing as much cardio, and that was an earth item.
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Two, when progress slows, I've tended to start bracing and going into a stress response.
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Categorize this one as ether because it speaks to that lack of trust, which leads to the bracing and the control.
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Next, I haven't been using the Divine Daddy SOS and emotion coaching fast enough when hard moments happen or when the cravings show up.
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That's another earth item.
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Then I haven't been as intentional about ocean brain returns.
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This one's earth as well.
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Then I had a fire item, and that was that when I start feeling shitty, I stop playing and having fun and laughing.
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And when you stop doing that, progress often gets so much harder.
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Then a couple more here.
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This next one is really a combination of earth and water.
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At this time, I had basically stopped doing dance alchemy, which I knew helped so much with emotional eating for a whole bunch of reasons.
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And then finally, Reddit.
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And this is not that Reddit automatically makes me eat, but when I go to certain pages and see posts about how life coaches suck, everyone's a grifter, and by the way, nobody is successful in this industry.
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Okay, yeah, that's gonna create firebrain, which often leads to rock brain, where a lot of the self-sabotage happens.
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And I categorized this one as air, but it's a little bit of earth as well, because of the fire brain response it has.
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And I did a much deeper dive on this particular topic in last week's episode, if you want to check that one out.
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My full list was 10 things, but I took some of them off because they were a little bit more personal.
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One other thing that I have been setting stronger boundaries around is letting some of my journey remain sacred and private, instead of feeling like every insight or idea has to become content.
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Because let me tell you, that gets exhausting after a while.
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Alright, so once you have your list and your categories, the next steps are simple.
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You start with Earth.
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Always start with Earth.
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These are the daily actions that will shift your physiology and make it so much easier to tackle whatever else is on your list.
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And honestly, once you pull some key levers in the earth element, the other stuff often gets smaller or melts away on its own.
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For example, when I dance regularly, do ocean brain returns, and use the Divine Daddy SOS, I feel better.
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So if I'm not feeling shitty to begin with, I automatically start to play and have fun again.
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By prioritizing Earth, fire took care of itself.
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This is also so important for any air items on your list.
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One of my favorite quotes is that you can't think your way into a new way of acting.
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You have to act your way into a new way of thinking.
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You don't fix limiting beliefs by inner work alone.
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You create evidence those beliefs aren't true in the first place.
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And you do that through your actions.
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Earth before air, always.
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And I truly think this is why affirmations have such mixed reviews.
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The people who say affirmations don't work are probably not doing anything to change their behavior, then they're mad nothing happened.
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But the people who swear by affirmations, whether they're doing it consciously or not, are likely taking different actions that make those affirmations feel true in their body because they are.
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Then the super important thing here is to pick one to three of your Earth items and turn them into mechanisms.
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We've talked about the fact that truths don't execute, mechanisms do.
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It wasn't enough for me to write this list.
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I needed to go back and schedule ocean brain returns.
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I needed to send Divine Daddy SOS much sooner.
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I needed to put dance alchemy on the calendar, even if it was only two to three songs in the morning, to shift my energy for the day.
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This is putting handles on your poems.
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And if Ocean Brain Returns and Divine Daddy SOS sound like they're from another language, they're not.
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They're rituals from Food Freedom Fantasy.
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And they're exactly what I meant earlier by mechanisms.
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Again, truths don't execute, mechanisms do.
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The book is the full syllabus for spicy storytelling 301.
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So Ocean Brain Returns, Divine Daddy SOS, Dark Fire, Drama Triangle Triage, the whole toolkit.
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So if you're about to write your list of 10 and you want earth leavers that already have handles on them, the book is$7.99 at foodfreedomfantasy.com.
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Less than the cost of a pizza and works so much better.
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Now, I also want to talk about embodied, because I'd be doing you dirty if I didn't mention it.
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Because there's one thing the book physically cannot do.
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I can explain why dance alchemy works on emotional eating.
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I cannot dance with you through a paperback.
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And you heard my own list today.
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When the dancing stopped, everything got harder.
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This is what Embodied is built for.
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It's nine full-length dance alchemy classes matched to the key chapters of the book.
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There's two tech walkthroughs for getting your own daddies onto whatever AI platform you like.
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And then also three check-ins with me.
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You submit your questions, your struggles, your wins, and they get witnessed and answered in a voice note from me.
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And this is not homework review, it's witnessing.
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When you grab the book and go through the checkout process, you will have a page that offers you embodied for$147.
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It's$197 everywhere else.
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And every dollar of that credits towards the full Food Freedom Fantasy program if you decide you want more later on.
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And if you already own the paperback or Kindle, same deal.
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You'll go to foodfreedomfantasy.com book bonus, submit your email for your free bonuses, and then a page will offer you the same pricing for embodied.
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So one address does everything, foodfreedomfantasy.com.
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You can get the book for$7.99, and the rest is waiting on the other side.
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And whether you do this work with me inside a program or on your own, this type of work is how you go from progress is nowhere to progress is now here.
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You let your inner critic get mad, get noisy, and point out the truth.
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Then you find the levers you can pull that are in your control.
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And I guarantee you, there is some microversion of something on that list in the Earth element that you can do today.
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And suddenly, progress is now here.
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Today's episode was shorter by design because there is some implementation required.
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But I promise you, this practice will shift things, especially if you keep the list handy and refer to it a few times a week.
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Now, go pull some earth leavers, and I'll meet you back here in a future episode.
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Ready to stop outsourcing your worth and crack your own code?
00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:16.880
Grab Know Your Hungers.
00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:27.920
Two free assessments that uncover the real block behind your food struggles, plus a customized audio care package based on your results.
00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:31.759
You're not broken, you're just misdiagnosed.
00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:33.920
Link is in the show notes.
