WEBVTT
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For all you people.
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I'd like to tell you about my dad's favorite catch phrase.
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It was a simple one.
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But just as penetrating to the soul.
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You made a noise.
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Or you made a sound.
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He taught you to shut up.
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Welcome to shut up.
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It's the eagle.
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It's the egg show.
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Are you gonna let me listen to the egg show?
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And shut up.
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Are you gonna let me listen to the egg show?
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And shut up.
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I said Are you gonna listen?
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Let me listen to the egg show.
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Shut up.
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Shut the fuck up.
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Anyway, get a shutter.
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Ain't gonna fucking shut up.
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I ain't gonna fucking shut up.
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She's not saying anything.
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She's just sitting there.
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Can't walk and just sitting there helpless.
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But I know this was my mom's inner monologue.
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She's not saying anything back.
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Shut up.
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It's fucking Oh, it's amazing.
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It really is, man.
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Yo, man, how'd you get all your fucking material?
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You know, how'd you put your show together?
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Yeah, I just uh I grew up, you know, I grew up with a fucking fucking beast dad, God.
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Guy like to fucking put extra fucking whipped cream in the flaky puffs, god's enough whipped cream.
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Crunch up cheese curls and put them in his soup.
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He liked fucking quadruple mayonnaise on his burgers.
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Yeah, give me the can you put a fucking uh ladle spoon in my mayonnaise on my burger?
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Hey! Shut the fuck up! Try to talk to the fucking burger guy! You can't let me out of my fucking burger?
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Then shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up! You get it?
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Now shut up! Just sitting there.
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She's not talking back.
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But I talked back.
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The youngest of the family always talks back.
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No, you shut up! Didn't work out well for me.
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But I wasn't gonna fucking I was gonna go wall to wall, and I'm gonna go din up on it.
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I don't wanna dinner in it on it.
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I don't know.
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Oh fucking pock blocking dropping right now.
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And then it's done woo to wall.
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Breezy cat, breezy.
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Ain't killing me.
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Listen to the eek show.
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They shut up.
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This is the eek show.
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On a Monday morning, fucking legit cold air in the sky.
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On the roads.
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I can see the fucking bugs are covering up.
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They've got their cotton jackets around them.
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I saw a couple ants like, oh shit, man.
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It's cold.
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Make sure the fucking queen ant covered in fucking wool.
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You think the queen ants down there like where the fuck are all my other fucking worker ants, man?
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Those fuckers have been playing outside all fucking all summer.
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They're not coming home, God.
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I killed all the ants with a magnifying glass.
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I redirect his son right up their fucking ass.
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I killed all the ants with a magnifying glass.
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Oh, imagine driving into the Y and not fucking seeing a car, man.
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You're like, I can park anyone.
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First one's here.
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First one's here.
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Why'd you park so far away, Dad?
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Well, when we leave, we'll be the first ones out.
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Or it's closed.
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No! Labor Day! What a fucking what a play on words Labor Day is.
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It's Labor Day, but nobody works! What do you what do you do on work day?
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Fucking stay home?
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Fuck off, man.
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Yo man, what are you doing for Labor Day, man?
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I think I fucking um you know I gotta just fucking sleep.
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The word labor means work, man.
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Yeah, it means it means you get the day off.
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I don't get it, man.
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I don't really don't.
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You know?
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On Christmas, you celebrate Christ.
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Halloween, you sell celebrate fucking hell and fucking wean two words that's anonymously fit.
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It's like fucking hot dogs and Mustados.
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You healing me what you fucking eat shut up.
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Shut your fucking mouth.
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Shut up.
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My dad had fucking Labor Day holiday every day.
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Fucking get up at 11 Sat in my fucking chair for two hours and fucking fucking climate stats.
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Maybe.
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Some cheese eggs.
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Dad! It's fucking four o'clock! You haven't done anything or move from your chair! Let me list the eat jump?
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Then shut up.
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I'm gonna fuckin' I'm gonna fuckin' put a fucking bat in your skull! Now shut up! Dad! It's now six o'clock.
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Mimi! I'll cook up some fucking roast bean and then make it greeny.
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Dad, it's nine.
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He'd go to bed at fucking mid.
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My dad would go to bed like past everybody.
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He'd be up till 12 or 1 at night.
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Sleep till 11.
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So he's still going to bed way late.
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He's like, ah, he's not getting that much sleep.
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You know what I mean?
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No, that's not that's not accurate.
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You know, just because he goes to bed at 12 or 1, he gets up at 11 or 12.
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He's still getting 12 hours.
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Oh it's bowl Little fucking perfect fucking roast.
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So the fucking gym's closed.
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Glad I remembered that.
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Drove in ready to fucking work out and nobody's there, man.
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That's a good time, huh?
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You got plans of what to do and show up and nobody's there, man.
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Not a fucking single soul.
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Soulless?
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Hello?
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Hello?
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Hello?
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Hello?
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Hello?
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Hello.
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Hello.
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Hello.
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Is anybody there?
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Is anybody there?
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Is anybody there?
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Is anybody there?
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Is anybody there?
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Is anybody there?
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Is anybody there?
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Shut up.
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Shut the fuck up.
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Just sat there, man.
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Never said anything back.
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He said a lot of really crazy fucking things, but shut up.
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Shut up was the big one.
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Shut up is just imagine if you said shut up to somebody all the time and meant it.
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Like aggressively meant it.
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You know what I mean?
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Not not just screwing around.
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Like you aggressively are telling somebody, shut the fuck up.
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Shut up.
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Shut up.
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You know?
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A lot of times you'd be like, shut the fuck up.
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You're joking, right?
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You're joking.
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Shut up, man.
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You know, like it's not.
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There's no venom in it.
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My dad would say it with venom.
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And he gave me shut up! Shut up! Just kept fucking getting louder and madder.
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Shut up! Dad, she's not saying anything back! Shut up! Oh man, he would fucking just he'd want his head to pop.
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He'd get so loud.
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Just fucking just insane asylum patient.
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Shut up! My mom would be sitting there just, you know, looking on in horror.
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Fucking crying out loud.
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Imagine you're in a chair as a fucking grown adult.
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Once again, I could hear my mother's inner monologue.
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And capable.
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You know what I mean?
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Like uh, you've got confidence in yourself.
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You're intelligent, you know, deeply fucking committed and proud of your life and who you are.
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Which I can just tell you, unfortunately, my mom was not that.
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She didn't feel that way about herself, you know?
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She was just very insecure and dainty and ashamed a lot.
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She dealt with a lot of fucking unfortunate stuff by being paralyzed for so long and with a, you know, I gotta be honest, just a verbally and physically abusive husband.
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I'm gonna fucking tell you, fucking ass up, and shut up! I'm gonna fucking shut your squad up.
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That's just facts, cuz.
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She got whacked! That's facts! Oh! Oh! Little power blue, he's in the money! Oh! Fucking dice clay, man! Yo, man! My my mom wheeled down the hallway! She got hit in the head with a bat! Oh! Eekshow trying to do the fucking- is that Ekshow Dice Clay again?
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Andrew Dice Clay, if you're out there, you're listening.
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Fucking your old shit was genius, man.
00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:43.600
I love when you got in that fight with that CNN reporter.
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That's fucking amazing.
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I just saw that the other day.
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It was fantastic, man.
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Remain calm and assist family members or neighbors.
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Exchange.
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Sensitive electric equipment such as computers and televisions.
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Turn off major electric appliances that were major electrical plants.
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Electricity is restored.
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Keep your feet and freezer doors closed as possible.
00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:33.919
I don't know, Andrew Guy's Clay.
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I thought he was uh extremely funny.
00:15:36.799 --> 00:15:38.399
I love Ford Fairlane.
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Um that movie was uh just a kind of a hidden treasure when I was young, man.
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Quick, looked down the back of my dress.
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Little boy blue, we needed the money.
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Oh I fucking loved it.
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Little Tony Soprano.
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Oh! Oh! Oh I love that, man.
00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:07.519
Okay, um the woman in the wheelchair ordered a drink and took her too long.
00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:09.600
Her husband smashed her in the head.
00:16:09.759 --> 00:16:20.240
Oh! Alright, man, too far.
00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:22.240
I took the bit too far.
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I got it! I got it, okay?
00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:28.879
I fucking got it! I'm taking, you know, immediate feedback.
00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:34.159
In the right corner.
00:16:35.279 --> 00:16:36.960
Fucking torment, man.
00:16:37.120 --> 00:16:44.480
Fucking torment! Sometimes you fucking do shit for so long you just feel tormented.
00:16:44.639 --> 00:16:48.799
Oh you can't let me watch this?
00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:51.200
You can't let me listen to the fucking eat job.
00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:52.559
Then shut up.
00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:54.159
Shut the fuck up.
00:16:54.879 --> 00:16:56.879
You fucking sh shut up.
00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:20.000
Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Dad! She still hasn't said anything! You said you told her to shut up! 54 times, and she hasn't said anything! Shut up! Shut up! You get louder and louder like he's hey uh we need you uh we need you we gotta do again we gotta do another take, man.
00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:22.079
Uh you haven't said shut up loud enough.
00:17:22.240 --> 00:17:28.240
Shut up! No director, no PAs on set, no AD.
00:17:28.480 --> 00:17:30.640
This wasn't a filming session.
00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:38.240
Welcome to Eat Show, Director and Producing Movie Studios.
00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:43.519
We'll be on site to always help you get your film out on time.
00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:48.640
This was just belittling at its finest.
00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:50.880
Belittle, okay, what a word.
00:17:51.119 --> 00:18:01.839
Belittle means just put someone down over and over again, just using their own shit against them, making them feel tiny, small, inferior.
00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:05.920
Making them feel like they deserve to be under a rock.
00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:09.359
Ma, mom, huh?
00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:16.559
Are you how how's it feel when when dad makes you feel like you live under a rock?
00:18:18.480 --> 00:18:19.759
She didn't like it, man.
00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:20.720
She didn't like it.
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:22.559
She didn't like it.
00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:32.799
Shut up! Fucking Sometimes you'd hear that like faint scream from shut up.
00:18:35.440 --> 00:18:37.440
It wasn't always in the same room, right?
00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:39.599
We lived in a trailer, you know what I mean?
00:18:39.759 --> 00:18:44.400
So literally, if you had a loud fart, you could hear it from one end of the trailer to the other.
00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:47.519
A hundred percent.
00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:48.079
Okay.
00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:57.119
Now I gotta get something from the garage, because the fucking the why, and now I know why, is fucking close.
00:18:57.359 --> 00:19:00.960
Because everybody's fucking not doing anything on Labor Day.
00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:04.960
The meat the word means work and everybody's fucking sleeping.
00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:17.279
No sleep till Pembroke.
00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:20.720
No sleep till Pembroke.
00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:27.359
I'll fucking go hit some golf balls.
00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:32.240
You hear that each job?
00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:34.160
Hear those clubs?
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:35.839
Fucking labor day.
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:37.440
Try to go to the gym.
00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:40.000
I'll fucking go hit some golf balls.
00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:45.680
I'll go hit some fucking golf balls.
00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:46.799
Shut up.
00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:50.480
Dad, nobody said anything to you.
00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:53.039
Shut up! Shut you fuck up.
00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:56.880
It's not funny to you, is it?
00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:57.359
Mm-hmm.
00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:03.039
I I I gotta be honest, at times it wasn't funny for me, huh?
00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:04.960
But I turned it into funny.
00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:05.519
Mm-hmm.
00:20:05.920 --> 00:20:07.759
I made it fucking humorous.
00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:10.960
I turned it into fun.
00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:13.519
Mm-hmm.
00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:17.279
Eekshow, why are you uh why are you crying, man?
00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:18.960
Why why you piss your pants?
00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:24.400
My my dad my dad's trying to kill me and my my brother and my mom.
00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:26.799
Jesus Christ, man.
00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:29.759
Is this a fucking Ekeshow or is it a horror story?
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:35.279
It's both It's fucking both Eek Show.
00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:41.279
Eek fucking grow.
00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:53.599
Oh, um the temperature just fucking perfect.
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:56.000
How you get you fucking coffee?
00:20:56.160 --> 00:20:58.720
The temperature, how'd you get it so perfect?
00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:01.920
I uh put a thermometer in it every morning, man.
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.799
You don't use it to take a temperature when you're sick?
00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:07.279
No man, I use thermometers in my coffee.
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:11.279
I need it to be the exact same temperature every day, man.
00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:15.759
Oh yeah.
00:21:21.200 --> 00:21:24.240
Fucking bowl, fucking rocket ship cup.
00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:39.359
You need it on a fucking early morning when you're supposed to go to the gym and the fuckers closed.
00:21:39.599 --> 00:21:42.480
You drive into a fucking empty lot and shit.
00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:44.160
Fucking drive right out, God.
00:21:44.880 --> 00:21:53.519
I know it's fucking you see someone you kind of really don't want to say bye to or you don't like, you're like, ah blah blah blah.
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:57.599
People like, hey, see you later, man.
00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:05.279
You see someone in like fucking Who does something stupid like, oh hey man, I'm going to fucking demon busters after this?
00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:15.119
You're like, oh law fucking wada slow fucking wada like fucking see you later fucking douche rocket.
00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:17.359
See you later, Goon Squad.
00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:24.240
Blind driveway, cut.
00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:26.319
Can't see it.
00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:30.160
Fucking.
00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:36.480
I want to see that fucking the vanity plate blind driver.
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:39.519
I know B L N D D R V.
00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:42.480
So B L N D D R V.
00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:43.359
That'll fit.
00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:44.640
Blind Driver.
00:22:44.799 --> 00:22:45.920
So it's blind driver.
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:49.519
You see you see the person in there like they're in the woods, of course.
00:22:50.480 --> 00:22:52.160
Making their way through trees.
00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:02.960
Hey man, can you see anything?
00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:09.200
Go for that old stream, man.
00:23:09.519 --> 00:24:03.920
You beep, you're like, hi man! Yo! You came in! You driving in the woods! I love that vanity plate! Yo! Love the vanity plate, man! Labor day! Everybody wake up! Yeah, you're gonna fucking sleep in, man! It's fucking no work day, man! This purple fucking Honda dish rocket! Fucking Labor Day! Everybody's waking up! Here we go! Get up! Sleep in! Fucking time to get up! World's fucking awake, sun's out! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood! It's a beautiful day in Eek Show's neighborhood! Oh won't you be my?
00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:06.160
Could you be my?
00:24:06.480 --> 00:24:09.920
Won't you be my listener?
00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:22.400
Shut up! And we're listening to the fucking Eekshow! Shut up! This is the Eekshow.show! What word did you hear the most when you were a kid?
00:24:22.559 --> 00:24:24.079
When you were with your family?
00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:26.400
Was it don't touch that?
00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:28.640
Turn the TV down.
00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:30.400
Go to your room.
00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:32.240
Go do your homework.
00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:33.599
Drink your milk.
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:35.119
Haha, I heard that one a lot.
00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:44.319
Drink your fucking milk! Drink your milk! You little fucking shit! Drink your milk! Fucking hated milk when I was a kid, man.
00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:46.000
Hated it.
00:24:47.839 --> 00:24:54.960
I don't want to drink a fucking white liquid that comes from a fucking cow's fucking bubble on the bottom of his fucking stomach.
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:00.640
That's an odor, man.
00:25:01.599 --> 00:25:02.720
How about this?
00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:14.319
You better outta you better shut up! You own her shut up! Fucking really bad.
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:16.480
Bad fucking intel, man.
00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:17.599
It's bad material.
00:25:17.759 --> 00:25:18.559
Cut that out.
00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:20.960
You know, you know, omit that.
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:22.720
I'm gonna omit you.
00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:27.039
Omituary cat?
00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:27.839
No.
00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:31.359
The eek show omituary.
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:35.839
It's fucking encyclopedia of facts and fucking shit that I took out.
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:39.359
What did you hear when you were young over and over again?
00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:47.599
Take the trash out! There you go, little fucking lung butter.
00:25:47.839 --> 00:25:51.599
Yo, you got some of that fucking lung butter from my toast?
00:25:52.880 --> 00:25:54.240
Jesus Christ.
00:25:54.559 --> 00:25:58.319
Eh! I think you're gonna go with the peach mill, but instead, man.
00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:00.480
No, man, go with the lung butter.
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:05.599
Shit's fucking sour, man.
00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:07.519
Gives it a real punch.
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:11.920
Like, ha! Can't even get through the bread, man.
00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:13.359
Ha ha.
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:15.119
Mud.
00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:23.200
I love when the fucking tide goes out and you can just see fucking clams reaching up with their little fucking mutant fucking tongues.
00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:25.519
Or arm or whatever the fuck that thing is.
00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:34.880
It's got that little fucking like gross little fucking cloth blanket fucking black piece of fucking cloth you have to pull off the neck.
00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:36.160
Oh, it's the neck.
00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:37.680
The neck when you eat them.
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:44.400
Jip, you use the neck and rinse it out in the clam broth and dip it in the butter and just fucking chew through an elastic.
00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:46.400
I just saw the fucking clam.
00:26:50.079 --> 00:27:01.200
Get me out of the mud, man! Fuck up, clam bitch! Fucking clam kid.
00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:05.440
Hock a clam.
00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:07.039
You ever heard that in high school?
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:08.960
Yo, what a fucking clam, man.
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:10.880
You just hawked a fucking clam.
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:24.240
Basically, that's a fucking young kid like using that fucking technique to like hawk up a fucking you know snot glu gluey fucking phlegm ball and spit it out.
00:27:24.319 --> 00:27:32.240
Yo ho look at him! Eekshaw just fucking hawk a clam, cuh! Hock the clam.
00:27:35.359 --> 00:27:38.079
Just shuck a clam, you hock a clam.
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:41.440
I didn't shuck any clams.
00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:43.119
I did shuck oysters.
00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:46.720
I'm gonna fucking shuck your fucking brain, cuh.
00:27:47.839 --> 00:27:51.200
Eekshow.show, info eekshow.show.
00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:52.319
What did you hear?
00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:53.920
Clean your room, fucking.
00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:55.359
Get upstairs.
00:27:55.599 --> 00:27:56.559
Help your mom.
00:27:56.799 --> 00:27:58.799
Clean up your mom fucking shit.
00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:00.000
Clean it up.
00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:03.200
Fucking pull your curtain.
00:28:05.119 --> 00:28:07.599
Oh, uh, there you go, huh?
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:09.680
Close your close the door.
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:11.920
Fucking don't slam the door.
00:28:12.319 --> 00:28:15.599
Um don't talk at the dinner table.
00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:17.440
Ho ho, militant.
00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:19.920
Eat fucking shit.
00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:21.759
Eat shit's a nice one, man.
00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:23.039
My dad would say that.
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:29.599
You're gonna fucking eat shit! Thank god I never did eat shit.
00:28:30.079 --> 00:28:31.920
What else did you hear?
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:38.799
Um, my guess is you didn't hear shut the fuck up, you Czechoslovakian fucking bitch.
00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:43.440
Or uh, I'm gonna bury ya.
00:28:43.759 --> 00:28:44.799
Don't fuck a fucker.
00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:46.799
Cause you haven't fucking fuck you.
00:28:46.960 --> 00:28:47.839
Yeah, shut up.
00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:50.240
You didn't hear that one.
00:28:53.759 --> 00:28:55.839
I know you've heard all this stuff, right?
00:28:55.920 --> 00:28:59.440
You listen to the Eek Show, so you've heard some of the shit.
00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:04.079
Again, I'm not telling you this because I'm ashamed or that I want sympathy.
00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:08.400
I'm telling you because the shit's funny, man, it's fucking funny.
00:29:09.119 --> 00:29:13.039
Dark, sadistic, crazy shit is funny.
00:29:13.359 --> 00:29:14.799
That's just the way it is.
00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:15.680
It is.
00:29:16.720 --> 00:29:19.599
That's just the way it's just the way it is.
00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:29.519
It's just the way it is.
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:31.359
Dad, you got a good voice.
00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:37.039
Shut up! I hope you enjoyed this week's Eek Show.
00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:46.640
It's uh hearing the word shut up in my home with like literally oxygen fucking coming in and out of your fucking lungs.
00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:53.680
Well, you know, tainted oxygen based on the fucking bathroom having no door.
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:59.599
I can't get I got that fucking shit air in my throat again, dad.
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.000
Shut up! Oh shut up was what I heard the most, man.
00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:07.359
Oh, from all angles.
00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:11.039
To the mom, to the brother, to the fucking cats.
00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:23.119
Shut the fuck up! Eat your food, you little fucking pussy bitch! That's about a cat, okay?
00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:24.960
That's not to a woman.
00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:26.480
That's to a cat.
00:30:27.039 --> 00:30:28.720
That's to fucking cats.
00:30:28.960 --> 00:30:31.839
Fucking pansy, topaz, melody.
00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:35.039
All fucking heroic names.
00:30:35.519 --> 00:30:36.160
Buster.
00:30:41.920 --> 00:30:44.160
It's a little song I used to sing to my brother's cat.
00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:47.920
Hell! Alistair! So bad, so bad.
00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:51.839
Oh! That was a deer, man! What's up, fucking deer bitch?
00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:55.839
Come back and fucking cut your antlers off and fucking cook steaks.
00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:13.200
You know, eek show, man! You don't even use fucking skewers anymore, man! Yeah, I saw you cooking steaks and fucking deer antlers.
00:31:13.440 --> 00:31:18.720
It's really cool, what a move! Love that! Thanks, man.
00:31:19.279 --> 00:31:25.839
I thought about it when I was driving, filming the eekshow, uh, you know, or you know, taping the eekshow.
00:31:26.400 --> 00:31:40.799
Couple weeks ago, man, I was like, shit, you know, the antlers got a bunch of different, like, jutting out, oh, bunny rabbit! Holy shit, it's fucking tons of them.
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:46.559
Fucking rabbit stew, Kim! Have a great week.
00:31:46.720 --> 00:32:02.400
The one thing, whatever you heard over and over again when you were a child, when you were growing up in your home, it doesn't have to be what you say or what you do over and over again when you have your own kids, when you have your own family, when you have your own home.
00:32:02.720 --> 00:32:05.839
Monkey see does not have to monkey do.
00:32:06.319 --> 00:32:11.680
In fact, whatever the monkey does see, maybe they shouldn't do.
00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:16.319
Whatever the monkey saw, monkey, don't do it.
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:24.720
Cause sometimes whatever the monkey saw or had seen, the monkey shouldn't be doing it.
00:32:26.559 --> 00:32:27.839
This is the eek show.
00:00:14.960 --> 00:00:16.320
For all you people.
00:00:31.199 --> 00:00:38.320
I'd like to tell you about my dad's favorite catch phrase.
00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:43.039
It was a simple one.
00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:49.520
But just as penetrating to the soul.
00:00:58.560 --> 00:01:00.079
You made a noise.
00:01:02.479 --> 00:01:04.159
Or you made a sound.
00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:14.719
He taught you to shut up.
00:01:31.599 --> 00:01:35.040
Welcome to shut up.
00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:56.480
It's the eagle.
00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:12.400
It's the egg show.
00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:19.439
Are you gonna let me listen to the egg show?
00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:21.039
And shut up.
00:02:21.599 --> 00:02:25.680
Are you gonna let me listen to the egg show?
00:02:26.159 --> 00:02:27.360
And shut up.
00:02:28.560 --> 00:02:31.439
I said Are you gonna listen?
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:34.560
Let me listen to the egg show.
00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:36.719
Shut up.
00:02:37.759 --> 00:02:39.120
Shut the fuck up.
00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:41.759
Anyway, get a shutter.
00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:45.280
Ain't gonna fucking shut up.
00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:48.639
I ain't gonna fucking shut up.
00:02:57.439 --> 00:02:59.120
She's not saying anything.
00:02:59.759 --> 00:03:01.199
She's just sitting there.
00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:06.800
Can't walk and just sitting there helpless.
00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:11.360
But I know this was my mom's inner monologue.
00:03:19.039 --> 00:03:21.120
She's not saying anything back.
00:03:26.400 --> 00:03:27.120
Shut up.
00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:32.879
It's fucking Oh, it's amazing.
00:03:33.039 --> 00:03:34.560
It really is, man.
00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:39.199
Yo, man, how'd you get all your fucking material?
00:03:39.280 --> 00:03:41.199
You know, how'd you put your show together?
00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:50.000
Yeah, I just uh I grew up, you know, I grew up with a fucking fucking beast dad, God.
00:03:53.919 --> 00:04:06.800
Guy like to fucking put extra fucking whipped cream in the flaky puffs, god's enough whipped cream.
00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:12.960
Crunch up cheese curls and put them in his soup.
00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:19.519
He liked fucking quadruple mayonnaise on his burgers.
00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:33.839
Yeah, give me the can you put a fucking uh ladle spoon in my mayonnaise on my burger?
00:04:34.959 --> 00:04:44.800
Hey! Shut the fuck up! Try to talk to the fucking burger guy! You can't let me out of my fucking burger?
00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:51.040
Then shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up! You get it?
00:04:51.279 --> 00:04:54.879
Now shut up! Just sitting there.
00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:56.800
She's not talking back.
00:05:00.879 --> 00:05:02.319
But I talked back.
00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:05.680
The youngest of the family always talks back.
00:05:06.879 --> 00:05:11.360
No, you shut up! Didn't work out well for me.
00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:21.519
But I wasn't gonna fucking I was gonna go wall to wall, and I'm gonna go din up on it.
00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:24.000
I don't wanna dinner in it on it.
00:05:24.160 --> 00:05:24.959
I don't know.
00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:27.360
Oh fucking pock blocking dropping right now.
00:05:27.439 --> 00:05:30.240
And then it's done woo to wall.
00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:34.160
Breezy cat, breezy.
00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:36.480
Ain't killing me.
00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:38.639
Listen to the eek show.
00:05:39.360 --> 00:05:40.639
They shut up.
00:05:42.480 --> 00:05:44.079
This is the eek show.
00:05:44.879 --> 00:05:50.319
On a Monday morning, fucking legit cold air in the sky.
00:05:50.720 --> 00:05:52.319
On the roads.
00:05:52.959 --> 00:05:56.639
I can see the fucking bugs are covering up.
00:05:56.720 --> 00:06:00.160
They've got their cotton jackets around them.
00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:03.519
I saw a couple ants like, oh shit, man.
00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:05.120
It's cold.
00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:14.959
Make sure the fucking queen ant covered in fucking wool.
00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:23.360
You think the queen ants down there like where the fuck are all my other fucking worker ants, man?
00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:27.439
Those fuckers have been playing outside all fucking all summer.
00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:31.600
They're not coming home, God.
00:06:36.879 --> 00:06:40.160
I killed all the ants with a magnifying glass.
00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:45.199
I redirect his son right up their fucking ass.
00:06:47.519 --> 00:06:50.879
I killed all the ants with a magnifying glass.
00:06:53.759 --> 00:06:58.399
Oh, imagine driving into the Y and not fucking seeing a car, man.
00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:00.639
You're like, I can park anyone.
00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:01.759
First one's here.
00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:03.120
First one's here.
00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:06.160
Why'd you park so far away, Dad?
00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:09.360
Well, when we leave, we'll be the first ones out.
00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:13.120
Or it's closed.
00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:19.600
No! Labor Day! What a fucking what a play on words Labor Day is.
00:07:19.680 --> 00:07:26.959
It's Labor Day, but nobody works! What do you what do you do on work day?
00:07:27.279 --> 00:07:28.879
Fucking stay home?
00:07:29.439 --> 00:07:30.800
Fuck off, man.
00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:34.639
Yo man, what are you doing for Labor Day, man?
00:07:34.959 --> 00:07:38.879
I think I fucking um you know I gotta just fucking sleep.
00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:41.920
The word labor means work, man.
00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:46.000
Yeah, it means it means you get the day off.
00:07:46.720 --> 00:07:48.000
I don't get it, man.
00:07:48.079 --> 00:07:49.040
I don't really don't.
00:07:51.600 --> 00:07:52.240
You know?
00:07:53.120 --> 00:07:55.759
On Christmas, you celebrate Christ.
00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:27.199
Halloween, you sell celebrate fucking hell and fucking wean two words that's anonymously fit.
00:08:27.839 --> 00:08:30.959
It's like fucking hot dogs and Mustados.
00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:37.679
You healing me what you fucking eat shut up.
00:08:38.960 --> 00:08:40.399
Shut your fucking mouth.
00:08:40.559 --> 00:08:41.360
Shut up.
00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:46.399
My dad had fucking Labor Day holiday every day.
00:08:56.799 --> 00:09:05.600
Fucking get up at 11 Sat in my fucking chair for two hours and fucking fucking climate stats.
00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:10.240
Maybe.
00:09:14.480 --> 00:09:15.679
Some cheese eggs.
00:09:17.519 --> 00:09:26.240
Dad! It's fucking four o'clock! You haven't done anything or move from your chair! Let me list the eat jump?
00:09:26.879 --> 00:09:28.159
Then shut up.
00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:39.919
I'm gonna fuckin' I'm gonna fuckin' put a fucking bat in your skull! Now shut up! Dad! It's now six o'clock.
00:09:43.039 --> 00:09:47.840
Mimi! I'll cook up some fucking roast bean and then make it greeny.
00:09:49.279 --> 00:09:50.960
Dad, it's nine.
00:09:53.679 --> 00:09:55.120
He'd go to bed at fucking mid.
00:09:55.679 --> 00:09:59.039
My dad would go to bed like past everybody.
00:09:59.120 --> 00:10:01.279
He'd be up till 12 or 1 at night.
00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:02.720
Sleep till 11.
00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:05.759
So he's still going to bed way late.
00:10:05.840 --> 00:10:07.840
He's like, ah, he's not getting that much sleep.
00:10:07.919 --> 00:10:08.559
You know what I mean?
00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:11.759
No, that's not that's not accurate.
00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:16.879
You know, just because he goes to bed at 12 or 1, he gets up at 11 or 12.
00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:19.120
He's still getting 12 hours.
00:10:30.639 --> 00:10:47.919
Oh it's bowl Little fucking perfect fucking roast.
00:10:48.799 --> 00:10:50.639
So the fucking gym's closed.
00:10:51.519 --> 00:10:52.960
Glad I remembered that.
00:10:55.440 --> 00:10:58.960
Drove in ready to fucking work out and nobody's there, man.
00:11:00.879 --> 00:11:02.559
That's a good time, huh?
00:11:02.720 --> 00:11:08.320
You got plans of what to do and show up and nobody's there, man.
00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:10.559
Not a fucking single soul.
00:11:11.039 --> 00:11:12.080
Soulless?
00:11:19.600 --> 00:11:20.000
Hello?
00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:21.039
Hello?
00:11:21.600 --> 00:11:22.080
Hello?
00:11:22.639 --> 00:11:23.120
Hello?
00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:24.000
Hello?
00:11:24.639 --> 00:11:24.960
Hello.
00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:27.200
Hello.
00:11:27.519 --> 00:11:27.919
Hello.
00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:29.039
Is anybody there?
00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:30.000
Is anybody there?
00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:31.039
Is anybody there?
00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:32.000
Is anybody there?
00:11:32.080 --> 00:11:32.960
Is anybody there?
00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:34.000
Is anybody there?
00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:34.960
Is anybody there?
00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:40.000
Shut up.
00:11:40.240 --> 00:11:41.600
Shut the fuck up.
00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:43.600
Just sat there, man.
00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:45.279
Never said anything back.
00:11:47.440 --> 00:11:51.440
He said a lot of really crazy fucking things, but shut up.
00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:53.200
Shut up was the big one.
00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:59.360
Shut up is just imagine if you said shut up to somebody all the time and meant it.
00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:00.960
Like aggressively meant it.
00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:01.840
You know what I mean?
00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:03.840
Not not just screwing around.
00:12:03.919 --> 00:12:08.000
Like you aggressively are telling somebody, shut the fuck up.
00:12:08.399 --> 00:12:09.279
Shut up.
00:12:09.679 --> 00:12:10.399
Shut up.
00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:11.679
You know?
00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:13.840
A lot of times you'd be like, shut the fuck up.
00:12:13.919 --> 00:12:15.120
You're joking, right?
00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:16.480
You're joking.
00:12:16.799 --> 00:12:17.519
Shut up, man.
00:12:17.600 --> 00:12:18.960
You know, like it's not.
00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:20.720
There's no venom in it.
00:12:20.879 --> 00:12:23.120
My dad would say it with venom.
00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:30.799
And he gave me shut up! Shut up! Just kept fucking getting louder and madder.
00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:42.960
Shut up! Dad, she's not saying anything back! Shut up! Oh man, he would fucking just he'd want his head to pop.
00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:44.960
He'd get so loud.
00:12:45.440 --> 00:12:50.080
Just fucking just insane asylum patient.
00:12:50.320 --> 00:12:57.200
Shut up! My mom would be sitting there just, you know, looking on in horror.
00:12:57.919 --> 00:12:59.519
Fucking crying out loud.
00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:03.759
Imagine you're in a chair as a fucking grown adult.
00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:09.519
Once again, I could hear my mother's inner monologue.
00:13:17.039 --> 00:13:17.919
And capable.
00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:18.720
You know what I mean?
00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:21.279
Like uh, you've got confidence in yourself.
00:13:21.519 --> 00:13:29.279
You're intelligent, you know, deeply fucking committed and proud of your life and who you are.
00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:33.919
Which I can just tell you, unfortunately, my mom was not that.
00:13:34.080 --> 00:13:36.639
She didn't feel that way about herself, you know?
00:13:36.879 --> 00:13:43.120
She was just very insecure and dainty and ashamed a lot.
00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:54.960
She dealt with a lot of fucking unfortunate stuff by being paralyzed for so long and with a, you know, I gotta be honest, just a verbally and physically abusive husband.
00:13:56.240 --> 00:14:04.000
I'm gonna fucking tell you, fucking ass up, and shut up! I'm gonna fucking shut your squad up.
00:14:05.840 --> 00:14:07.759
That's just facts, cuz.
00:14:08.879 --> 00:14:34.000
She got whacked! That's facts! Oh! Oh! Little power blue, he's in the money! Oh! Fucking dice clay, man! Yo, man! My my mom wheeled down the hallway! She got hit in the head with a bat! Oh! Eekshow trying to do the fucking- is that Ekshow Dice Clay again?
00:14:34.799 --> 00:14:37.519
Andrew Dice Clay, if you're out there, you're listening.
00:14:37.759 --> 00:14:40.320
Fucking your old shit was genius, man.
00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:43.600
I love when you got in that fight with that CNN reporter.
00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:45.360
That's fucking amazing.
00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:46.960
I just saw that the other day.
00:14:47.120 --> 00:14:48.320
It was fantastic, man.
00:14:48.639 --> 00:14:51.600
Remain calm and assist family members or neighbors.
00:14:58.159 --> 00:14:58.399
Exchange.
00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:08.080
Sensitive electric equipment such as computers and televisions.
00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:12.240
Turn off major electric appliances that were major electrical plants.
00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:15.360
Electricity is restored.
00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:18.720
Keep your feet and freezer doors closed as possible.
00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:33.919
I don't know, Andrew Guy's Clay.
00:15:34.159 --> 00:15:36.639
I thought he was uh extremely funny.
00:15:36.799 --> 00:15:38.399
I love Ford Fairlane.
00:15:38.559 --> 00:15:43.039
Um that movie was uh just a kind of a hidden treasure when I was young, man.
00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:45.120
Quick, looked down the back of my dress.
00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:53.120
Little boy blue, we needed the money.
00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:55.200
Oh I fucking loved it.
00:15:55.360 --> 00:15:56.799
Little Tony Soprano.
00:15:57.120 --> 00:16:01.200
Oh! Oh! Oh I love that, man.
00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:07.519
Okay, um the woman in the wheelchair ordered a drink and took her too long.
00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:09.600
Her husband smashed her in the head.
00:16:09.759 --> 00:16:20.240
Oh! Alright, man, too far.
00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:22.240
I took the bit too far.
00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:24.879
I got it! I got it, okay?
00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:28.879
I fucking got it! I'm taking, you know, immediate feedback.
00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:34.159
In the right corner.
00:16:35.279 --> 00:16:36.960
Fucking torment, man.
00:16:37.120 --> 00:16:44.480
Fucking torment! Sometimes you fucking do shit for so long you just feel tormented.
00:16:44.639 --> 00:16:48.799
Oh you can't let me watch this?
00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:51.200
You can't let me listen to the fucking eat job.
00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:52.559
Then shut up.
00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:54.159
Shut the fuck up.
00:16:54.879 --> 00:16:56.879
You fucking sh shut up.
00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:20.000
Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Dad! She still hasn't said anything! You said you told her to shut up! 54 times, and she hasn't said anything! Shut up! Shut up! You get louder and louder like he's hey uh we need you uh we need you we gotta do again we gotta do another take, man.
00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:22.079
Uh you haven't said shut up loud enough.
00:17:22.240 --> 00:17:28.240
Shut up! No director, no PAs on set, no AD.
00:17:28.480 --> 00:17:30.640
This wasn't a filming session.
00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:38.240
Welcome to Eat Show, Director and Producing Movie Studios.
00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:43.519
We'll be on site to always help you get your film out on time.
00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:48.640
This was just belittling at its finest.
00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:50.880
Belittle, okay, what a word.
00:17:51.119 --> 00:18:01.839
Belittle means just put someone down over and over again, just using their own shit against them, making them feel tiny, small, inferior.
00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:05.920
Making them feel like they deserve to be under a rock.
00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:09.359
Ma, mom, huh?
00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:16.559
Are you how how's it feel when when dad makes you feel like you live under a rock?
00:18:18.480 --> 00:18:19.759
She didn't like it, man.
00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:20.720
She didn't like it.
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:22.559
She didn't like it.
00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:32.799
Shut up! Fucking Sometimes you'd hear that like faint scream from shut up.
00:18:35.440 --> 00:18:37.440
It wasn't always in the same room, right?
00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:39.599
We lived in a trailer, you know what I mean?
00:18:39.759 --> 00:18:44.400
So literally, if you had a loud fart, you could hear it from one end of the trailer to the other.
00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:47.519
A hundred percent.
00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:48.079
Okay.
00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:57.119
Now I gotta get something from the garage, because the fucking the why, and now I know why, is fucking close.
00:18:57.359 --> 00:19:00.960
Because everybody's fucking not doing anything on Labor Day.
00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:04.960
The meat the word means work and everybody's fucking sleeping.
00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:17.279
No sleep till Pembroke.
00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:20.720
No sleep till Pembroke.
00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:27.359
I'll fucking go hit some golf balls.
00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:32.240
You hear that each job?
00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:34.160
Hear those clubs?
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:35.839
Fucking labor day.
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:37.440
Try to go to the gym.
00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:40.000
I'll fucking go hit some golf balls.
00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:45.680
I'll go hit some fucking golf balls.
00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:46.799
Shut up.
00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:50.480
Dad, nobody said anything to you.
00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:53.039
Shut up! Shut you fuck up.
00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:56.880
It's not funny to you, is it?
00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:57.359
Mm-hmm.
00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:03.039
I I I gotta be honest, at times it wasn't funny for me, huh?
00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:04.960
But I turned it into funny.
00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:05.519
Mm-hmm.
00:20:05.920 --> 00:20:07.759
I made it fucking humorous.
00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:10.960
I turned it into fun.
00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:13.519
Mm-hmm.
00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:17.279
Eekshow, why are you uh why are you crying, man?
00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:18.960
Why why you piss your pants?
00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:24.400
My my dad my dad's trying to kill me and my my brother and my mom.
00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:26.799
Jesus Christ, man.
00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:29.759
Is this a fucking Ekeshow or is it a horror story?
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:35.279
It's both It's fucking both Eek Show.
00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:41.279
Eek fucking grow.
00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:53.599
Oh, um the temperature just fucking perfect.
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:56.000
How you get you fucking coffee?
00:20:56.160 --> 00:20:58.720
The temperature, how'd you get it so perfect?
00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:01.920
I uh put a thermometer in it every morning, man.
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.799
You don't use it to take a temperature when you're sick?
00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:07.279
No man, I use thermometers in my coffee.
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:11.279
I need it to be the exact same temperature every day, man.
00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:15.759
Oh yeah.
00:21:21.200 --> 00:21:24.240
Fucking bowl, fucking rocket ship cup.
00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:39.359
You need it on a fucking early morning when you're supposed to go to the gym and the fuckers closed.
00:21:39.599 --> 00:21:42.480
You drive into a fucking empty lot and shit.
00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:44.160
Fucking drive right out, God.
00:21:44.880 --> 00:21:53.519
I know it's fucking you see someone you kind of really don't want to say bye to or you don't like, you're like, ah blah blah blah.
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:57.599
People like, hey, see you later, man.
00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:05.279
You see someone in like fucking Who does something stupid like, oh hey man, I'm going to fucking demon busters after this?
00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:15.119
You're like, oh law fucking wada slow fucking wada like fucking see you later fucking douche rocket.
00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:17.359
See you later, Goon Squad.
00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:24.240
Blind driveway, cut.
00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:26.319
Can't see it.
00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:30.160
Fucking.
00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:36.480
I want to see that fucking the vanity plate blind driver.
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:39.519
I know B L N D D R V.
00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:42.480
So B L N D D R V.
00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:43.359
That'll fit.
00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:44.640
Blind Driver.
00:22:44.799 --> 00:22:45.920
So it's blind driver.
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:49.519
You see you see the person in there like they're in the woods, of course.
00:22:50.480 --> 00:22:52.160
Making their way through trees.
00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:02.960
Hey man, can you see anything?
00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:09.200
Go for that old stream, man.
00:23:09.519 --> 00:24:03.920
You beep, you're like, hi man! Yo! You came in! You driving in the woods! I love that vanity plate! Yo! Love the vanity plate, man! Labor day! Everybody wake up! Yeah, you're gonna fucking sleep in, man! It's fucking no work day, man! This purple fucking Honda dish rocket! Fucking Labor Day! Everybody's waking up! Here we go! Get up! Sleep in! Fucking time to get up! World's fucking awake, sun's out! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood! It's a beautiful day in Eek Show's neighborhood! Oh won't you be my?
00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:06.160
Could you be my?
00:24:06.480 --> 00:24:09.920
Won't you be my listener?
00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:22.400
Shut up! And we're listening to the fucking Eekshow! Shut up! This is the Eekshow.show! What word did you hear the most when you were a kid?
00:24:22.559 --> 00:24:24.079
When you were with your family?
00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:26.400
Was it don't touch that?
00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:28.640
Turn the TV down.
00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:30.400
Go to your room.
00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:32.240
Go do your homework.
00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:33.599
Drink your milk.
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:35.119
Haha, I heard that one a lot.
00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:44.319
Drink your fucking milk! Drink your milk! You little fucking shit! Drink your milk! Fucking hated milk when I was a kid, man.
00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:46.000
Hated it.
00:24:47.839 --> 00:24:54.960
I don't want to drink a fucking white liquid that comes from a fucking cow's fucking bubble on the bottom of his fucking stomach.
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:00.640
That's an odor, man.
00:25:01.599 --> 00:25:02.720
How about this?
00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:14.319
You better outta you better shut up! You own her shut up! Fucking really bad.
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:16.480
Bad fucking intel, man.
00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:17.599
It's bad material.
00:25:17.759 --> 00:25:18.559
Cut that out.
00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:20.960
You know, you know, omit that.
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:22.720
I'm gonna omit you.
00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:27.039
Omituary cat?
00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:27.839
No.
00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:31.359
The eek show omituary.
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:35.839
It's fucking encyclopedia of facts and fucking shit that I took out.
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:39.359
What did you hear when you were young over and over again?
00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:47.599
Take the trash out! There you go, little fucking lung butter.
00:25:47.839 --> 00:25:51.599
Yo, you got some of that fucking lung butter from my toast?
00:25:52.880 --> 00:25:54.240
Jesus Christ.
00:25:54.559 --> 00:25:58.319
Eh! I think you're gonna go with the peach mill, but instead, man.
00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:00.480
No, man, go with the lung butter.
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:05.599
Shit's fucking sour, man.
00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:07.519
Gives it a real punch.
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:11.920
Like, ha! Can't even get through the bread, man.
00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:13.359
Ha ha.
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:15.119
Mud.
00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:23.200
I love when the fucking tide goes out and you can just see fucking clams reaching up with their little fucking mutant fucking tongues.
00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:25.519
Or arm or whatever the fuck that thing is.
00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:34.880
It's got that little fucking like gross little fucking cloth blanket fucking black piece of fucking cloth you have to pull off the neck.
00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:36.160
Oh, it's the neck.
00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:37.680
The neck when you eat them.
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:44.400
Jip, you use the neck and rinse it out in the clam broth and dip it in the butter and just fucking chew through an elastic.
00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:46.400
I just saw the fucking clam.
00:26:50.079 --> 00:27:01.200
Get me out of the mud, man! Fuck up, clam bitch! Fucking clam kid.
00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:05.440
Hock a clam.
00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:07.039
You ever heard that in high school?
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:08.960
Yo, what a fucking clam, man.
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:10.880
You just hawked a fucking clam.
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:24.240
Basically, that's a fucking young kid like using that fucking technique to like hawk up a fucking you know snot glu gluey fucking phlegm ball and spit it out.
00:27:24.319 --> 00:27:32.240
Yo ho look at him! Eekshaw just fucking hawk a clam, cuh! Hock the clam.
00:27:35.359 --> 00:27:38.079
Just shuck a clam, you hock a clam.
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:41.440
I didn't shuck any clams.
00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:43.119
I did shuck oysters.
00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:46.720
I'm gonna fucking shuck your fucking brain, cuh.
00:27:47.839 --> 00:27:51.200
Eekshow.show, info eekshow.show.
00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:52.319
What did you hear?
00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:53.920
Clean your room, fucking.
00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:55.359
Get upstairs.
00:27:55.599 --> 00:27:56.559
Help your mom.
00:27:56.799 --> 00:27:58.799
Clean up your mom fucking shit.
00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:00.000
Clean it up.
00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:03.200
Fucking pull your curtain.
00:28:05.119 --> 00:28:07.599
Oh, uh, there you go, huh?
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:09.680
Close your close the door.
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:11.920
Fucking don't slam the door.
00:28:12.319 --> 00:28:15.599
Um don't talk at the dinner table.
00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:17.440
Ho ho, militant.
00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:19.920
Eat fucking shit.
00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:21.759
Eat shit's a nice one, man.
00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:23.039
My dad would say that.
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:29.599
You're gonna fucking eat shit! Thank god I never did eat shit.
00:28:30.079 --> 00:28:31.920
What else did you hear?
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:38.799
Um, my guess is you didn't hear shut the fuck up, you Czechoslovakian fucking bitch.
00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:43.440
Or uh, I'm gonna bury ya.
00:28:43.759 --> 00:28:44.799
Don't fuck a fucker.
00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:46.799
Cause you haven't fucking fuck you.
00:28:46.960 --> 00:28:47.839
Yeah, shut up.
00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:50.240
You didn't hear that one.
00:28:53.759 --> 00:28:55.839
I know you've heard all this stuff, right?
00:28:55.920 --> 00:28:59.440
You listen to the Eek Show, so you've heard some of the shit.
00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:04.079
Again, I'm not telling you this because I'm ashamed or that I want sympathy.
00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:08.400
I'm telling you because the shit's funny, man, it's fucking funny.
00:29:09.119 --> 00:29:13.039
Dark, sadistic, crazy shit is funny.
00:29:13.359 --> 00:29:14.799
That's just the way it is.
00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:15.680
It is.
00:29:16.720 --> 00:29:19.599
That's just the way it's just the way it is.
00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:29.519
It's just the way it is.
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:31.359
Dad, you got a good voice.
00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:37.039
Shut up! I hope you enjoyed this week's Eek Show.
00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:46.640
It's uh hearing the word shut up in my home with like literally oxygen fucking coming in and out of your fucking lungs.
00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:53.680
Well, you know, tainted oxygen based on the fucking bathroom having no door.
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:59.599
I can't get I got that fucking shit air in my throat again, dad.
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.000
Shut up! Oh shut up was what I heard the most, man.
00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:07.359
Oh, from all angles.
00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:11.039
To the mom, to the brother, to the fucking cats.
00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:23.119
Shut the fuck up! Eat your food, you little fucking pussy bitch! That's about a cat, okay?
00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:24.960
That's not to a woman.
00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:26.480
That's to a cat.
00:30:27.039 --> 00:30:28.720
That's to fucking cats.
00:30:28.960 --> 00:30:31.839
Fucking pansy, topaz, melody.
00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:35.039
All fucking heroic names.
00:30:35.519 --> 00:30:36.160
Buster.
00:30:41.920 --> 00:30:44.160
It's a little song I used to sing to my brother's cat.
00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:47.920
Hell! Alistair! So bad, so bad.
00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:51.839
Oh! That was a deer, man! What's up, fucking deer bitch?
00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:55.839
Come back and fucking cut your antlers off and fucking cook steaks.
00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:13.200
You know, eek show, man! You don't even use fucking skewers anymore, man! Yeah, I saw you cooking steaks and fucking deer antlers.
00:31:13.440 --> 00:31:18.720
It's really cool, what a move! Love that! Thanks, man.
00:31:19.279 --> 00:31:25.839
I thought about it when I was driving, filming the eekshow, uh, you know, or you know, taping the eekshow.
00:31:26.400 --> 00:31:40.799
Couple weeks ago, man, I was like, shit, you know, the antlers got a bunch of different, like, jutting out, oh, bunny rabbit! Holy shit, it's fucking tons of them.
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:46.559
Fucking rabbit stew, Kim! Have a great week.
00:31:46.720 --> 00:32:02.400
The one thing, whatever you heard over and over again when you were a child, when you were growing up in your home, it doesn't have to be what you say or what you do over and over again when you have your own kids, when you have your own family, when you have your own home.
00:32:02.720 --> 00:32:05.839
Monkey see does not have to monkey do.
00:32:06.319 --> 00:32:11.680
In fact, whatever the monkey does see, maybe they shouldn't do.
00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:16.319
Whatever the monkey saw, monkey, don't do it.
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:24.720
Cause sometimes whatever the monkey saw or had seen, the monkey shouldn't be doing it.
00:32:26.559 --> 00:32:27.839
This is the eek show.
