WEBVTT
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It's the show.
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It's the e show.
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Driver's license and registration, please.
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Yeah, give me a minute.
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I'll get it.
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Hold on.
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Driver's license and registration, please.
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I heard you, brother.
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Give me a fucking minute.
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Driver's license and registration, please.
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Hey man! That's three times! I gotta fucking go into the registration of motor vehicles, fucking rat, motherfucker! Put me on a ventilator.
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Can't deal with this shit.
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Fucking the uh you know the eek show is?
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Yeah.
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Okay, so give me a minute.
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You gotta get through the eek show first.
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R 508.
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Come to window number two.
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R 508.
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Window number two.
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I said welcome to the eek show ya.
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I said welcome to the eekshow.
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I said welcome to the eekshow.
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Eekshow dot show That's the Instagram where you fucking find all the fucking little Easter egg fucking pellets.
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Fucking I'm Pac-Man and you're a fucking ghost! Are you inky blinky dot or fucking Dale or whatever the fucking fourth one's name is?
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What do you got?
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Red, orange, yellow, and fucking pink?
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One of them might be pinky.
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Oh, who the fuck is Inky, bitch?
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Is that fucking winky?
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No, man, that's fucking pinky, bitch.
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I want you to be a fucking Pac-Man ghost, so I can fucking eat you and spit you out, cad! Watch your eyes fucking race back to the middle of that box.
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So you can get your fucking ghost coat on again.
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Eekshow! Walkies, walkies, walkies, walkies, walkies, walkies, walkies.
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That's eek show backwards, cat.
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Fucking Mary Lou's coffee.
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Uh-huh.
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There's a pink fucking there's a giant fucking pink cup of coffee just on top of a post in front of their building.
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And it's pink.
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Yo, is that pinky bitch?
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Yo! Coffee fucking blows ass, Mary Lou.
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I'm kidding.
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I don't know your business, Mary Lou.
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I had your coffee once.
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Like fucking 13 years ago, man.
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I used to live right down the street from this place where I'm sitting right now in traffic.
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Fucking move! Oh, nice! Stop short.
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Cause accidents, that's great.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, put your thumb out, you fucking dink ass.
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Go! Dude, what is going on now?
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What is he the horns?
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Fucking key a fucking dot soul! Bitch ass.
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Fucking stupid ass bitch ass.
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You wanna know what the episode's about today, huh?
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You wanna fucking pull the curtain back and see who's fucking what Oz is gonna talk about?
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The great and powerful Eek Show! Hey, that's for you.
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I uh I give you uh this heart.
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So you can have and live your dreams.
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Fucking Tin Man ka.
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I would have fucking tuck a sledgehammer and just smashed fucking Tin Man's fucking chest, put a big dead in him.
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Today's episode, in the calmest form imaginable, I wanna talk about a place that I call rat motherfucker put me on a fucking ventilator.
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Cause I want to be dead.
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I want you to put me to fucking sleep.
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Put me in a coma.
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So I don't have to experience any of it in real time.
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If you take a listen to those fucking first initials, the acronym.
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Rat is R.
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Motherfucker is M.
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Put me on a ventilator.
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It actually is a PMO V.
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But I just wanna I just wanna reference the V.
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So RM V, you know what it spells, yeah.
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Registry of Motor Vehicles.
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And that, my friends, is where literally people go to fucking die.
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That's where they go to die.
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I'm pulling the left there, look at it! It's in blue, it's on fucking Columbian Street and fucking brain tree mass.
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There's a squirrel right now eating a fucking little acorn.
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I'm gonna talk to him.
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I'm gonna talk to him.
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What's up, squirrel, bitch?
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Hey man, how's your fucking acorn nut?
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Huh?
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I gotta go to the fucking rat motherfucker.
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Put me on a ventilator, bitch! I'm way early for my appointment because I want my death to be even slower than it's gonna be.
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It's another sign with the RMV on it.
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Rat motherfucking, put me on a ventilator! The place is fucking cursed.
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Absolutely cursed! I'll tell ya, full-fledged, I'd rather be fucking put on fire, set on fire, than have to fucking hang out at this motherfucking place, man.
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I'd rather be set on fire.
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I'd rather be set on fucking fire with gasoline poured on my face than have to go to this fucking place, man.
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And I'm gonna tell you why.
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Okay?
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I'm gonna tell you why.
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A little fucking tale I like to call Lexus sucks ass! I'm not talking about Lexus to be fucking doucheworthy or fucking uppity or yuppie bitch.
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I'm staring right now at a fucking 150 foot tall.
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Is that about the fucking moving?
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Dude, that shit is fucking high as fuck.
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Right now I'm looking at a goddamn fucking TV tower.
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Or whatever the fuck it is.
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You're lucky I don't climb up there and fucking high dive into the fucking pavement.
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Tell you that'd be worth it.
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Just come down and fucking splat.
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Did you get your registration done, man?
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No, man.
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I fucking climbed up the fucking TV tower right near it and fucking pulled off a back fucking inward four and a half right into the pavement.
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Crushed my shoulders, huh?
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My teeth ended up in the back of my fucking skull.
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So you didn't get registered, huh?
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Nah, man, but I feel better about it.
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I'd rather have fucking no more life than have to go into that fucking shit ass place.
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I'm talking about the DMV.
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Driver motor vehicles, whatever the fuck the DMV means.
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In Massachusetts, it's called the RMV, because everything about Massachusetts has gotta be particular.
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You gotta pay your excise tax.
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You gotta do this, you gotta sign that.
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You gotta get a stamp.
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In Massachusetts, you gotta get a stamp.
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Come here, love.
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Insurance, registration, fucking license renewal, taxes, health coverage, excise tax.
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It's all the bullshit you have to potentially get in Massachusetts that's different than anywhere else.
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Okay, I know everywhere else in life sucks ass too, but not like here.
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I've lived in New York, I've lived in upstate, I lived in California, I lived in Virginia.
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There is no place like here when it comes to fucking bullshit, money, scam, tax.
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We're gonna be more fucking fucked up than any other state, even though it's beautiful here.
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I love the ocean, I love the sports, I love the fucking food, I love the people overall.
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A lot of them are motherfucking bitch asses.
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Not the Eek Show, huh?
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The Eek Show is all knowing worldwide.
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Tony, I'm staring at this fucking tower right now, and I know I can climb it with one arm.
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Yo, Eeksho's out there climbing the fucking TV fucking electrical tower by the fucking rat motherfucker.
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Put me on a ventilator! Place where you go to get your fucking car shit done.
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Guys fucking climbing it with one arm.
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It's a fucking madhouse of fucking people down there just watching them.
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This motherfucking place, man, every time you go, every time you have to go, you're gonna be there at least a couple hours.
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Okay, one hour plus.
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Gar and fucking team.
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You set up an appointment online, which is quote unquote a newer thing the last few years.
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They also moved the location.
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Okay?
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It's set off in a fucking remote area where you literally know if I was gonna put myself on fire and just die, this would be the perfect place to do it.
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This would be the perfect place to do it.
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I don't want to hurt anybody else.
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Now I don't like or want to be around anybody in that rat motherfucker, put me on a ventilator, RMV place, but I'll tell you what, I don't wish harm upon others.
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But I want it upon myself when I have to go to this place.
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It's 8 11 in the morning.
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My appointment's in an hour.
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Okay?
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And of course I'm fucking well on time.
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15 minutes early is on time.
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Remember that for all you interviewers out there.
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I came fucking last week fully prepared.
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I had the fucking title and application ready to go because fucking Lexus.
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We bought out a lease back in April, okay?
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We bought out a lease.
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Not my car, my wife's car.
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She's my queen.
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I love her.
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I bought out her lease, she doesn't have to fucking ever worry about a fucking car.
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This thing's fucking mint.
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Low mileage on it.
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We got it a couple years after COVID.
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That thing's fucking beautiful.
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If we s gave the lease back and flipped into a new one, which we've done for years in the past, this they would have fucking sold this car for near 50,000 bucks.
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Okay, again, that's not to be a douche rocket.
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That's just to tell you the truth.
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That's each show fucking truth.
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Got bought out the lease, okay?
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Didn't pay it off entirely, got a loan payment.
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I don't have a ton of debt other than the home, so fuck it.
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Okay, I wanted to fucking have a nice car.
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That's almost like the thing is literally like it's brand new still.
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It's like 22,000 miles on it.
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You know what Lexus does?
00:12:06.399 --> 00:12:09.360
The fucking illustrious fucking luxury brand.
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It took him four months to send me the fucking title because they lost it in the mail.
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Do you wanna hear fucking Eeksho bitch about fucking his bullshit fucking asshole fucking state title being lost in the mail by fucking Lexus, which is a fucking yuppie uppity fucking car brand?
00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:37.200
No, I don't think you do, but you're gonna hear it because it's a fucking prequel to where I am right now.
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It's where I fucking wanna go to die.
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If you ever saw Zootopia, the sloths, okay?
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The sloths that work at the fucking registry of motor vehicles, driver motor vehicles, whatever the fucking DMV stands for in other states, Massachusetts, huh?
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They wanna have their own fucking way of saying things.
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OUI laws in the ma in the United States are all pretty similar, except in Massachusetts.
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They're stricter and more crazy.
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There's all kinds of things about Massachusetts that want to make you fucking tie a big giant noose and hang! But I'll tell you what, if I was gonna fucking actually hang, I'd be at the top of this fucking tower.
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I'm leaning down, I'm below the phone right now, my voice is rising.
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This motherfucker is 150 plus feet up.
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I'd fucking climb to the top with one arm, fucking put the noose up with my other fucking foot, attach it to that fucking bulbous fucking satellite shell up the top, and I just fucking hang right down.
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People are screaming, they're crying, oh no god, oh they're already coming out of the fucking rat motherfucker, putting me on a ventilator fucking RMV.
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They already wanna die, but now they see Ekshow hanging.
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Oh god, oh god, oh no! I don't know how I'm gonna go another fucking year, month, week, or day without his fucking podcast.
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I just don't know how I'm gonna do it.
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Oh god, please, please.
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Ekshow! I'm gonna open the window and yell to him, Ekshow! Ink show! That's probably fucking five-hos around here.
00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:30.879
Yo, man, you have for your registration, man.
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You gotta have this paper and that sign and the blue ink stain on the fucking bottom right.
00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:41.279
And it's gotta be 30 days within the acceptance of you talking to your insurance agent.
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Cause that's what happened.
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I show up last week, ready to go.
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I got the fucking application, okay?
00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:53.679
I finally got the state title of proof of title for the fucking Lexus, okay?
00:14:53.919 --> 00:15:00.559
I finally got all the paperwork from those motherfuckers who don't do shit, don't change their website.
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Lexus Financial's a shit ass fucking website, by the way.
00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:05.919
Be weary.
00:15:06.159 --> 00:15:07.759
No, you gonna call me out?
00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:08.879
Go ahead.
00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:14.960
Never miss one payment for like fucking 12 years of their fucking dog shit.
00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:24.639
And I'm not saying I should be honored because I didn't miss a car payment, but the way that they run that fucking website, haha! They're lucky I didn't fucking try to melt it.
00:15:25.039 --> 00:15:28.559
Yo, yo, Higgshow, how do you melt a fucking website, dude?
00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:31.600
Light it on fire, man.
00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:39.440
Of course that wouldn't work, and I'm just fucking out of my mind right now because I gotta walk into a fucking prison.
00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:41.279
Cause that's what the RMV is.
00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:42.960
It's fucking jail.
00:15:44.399 --> 00:15:48.960
Yo, uh someone told me you were complaining you you were in jail, you're arrested.
00:15:49.039 --> 00:15:50.000
Yeah, I was, man.
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I went to the fucking RMV, I was there for like five hours.
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What'd you get done, Ekshaw?
00:15:56.159 --> 00:15:57.759
I got nothing done.
00:15:57.919 --> 00:16:00.000
I had everything itemized and ready to go.
00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:02.799
I get up there, I wait an hour and a half.
00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:10.399
Prior, I made an appointment for a specific time that I was 15 to 20 minutes early for, and I still waited an hour and a half.
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:20.080
And when I walked up, okay, when I walked up, I'll even tell you the truth, there's numbers two through twenty staring in front of us.
00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:26.240
R125, please go up to the the ninth terminal.
00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:31.840
Q445, please go up to the fifth terminal.
00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:34.960
I wait the hour and fucking 40 minutes.
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:41.360
They're like, R123, please go up to the second terminal.
00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:44.799
I look up, and there's three through twenty.
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I don't see two.
00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:53.039
Now I see that at the end of three to my left, there's another hallway, so I go over, there's no hallway.
00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:58.799
Not only did I wait one hour and 40 minutes, I nearly walked into a fucking wall in a door.
00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:02.960
And of course I have to ask the fucking.
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The guy should be making$8.99 an hour.
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And don't even give him the nine bucks.
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$8.99 an hour.
00:17:08.799 --> 00:17:19.759
He's got the fucking sort of legal, police, insurance, security agent combination, you know, oversized pants, bad shirt, you buy it.
00:17:19.839 --> 00:17:20.640
Fucking Sims.
00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:28.559
Sims is a fucking shit ass fucking department store, S Y M S that used to exist in New England, Massachusetts area.
00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:32.400
It's like Burlington Coat Factory, but it's called Sims.
00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:34.160
And it sucks, okay?
00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:36.880
Suck your motherfucking shit ass.
00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:38.480
S Y M S.
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Suck your motherfucking shit ass.
00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:43.599
You go there if you want shit clothes.
00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:45.839
You can tell when someone's wearing shit.
00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:48.160
You know, I'm not saying I'm a fucking good dresser.
00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:48.799
Not.
00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:51.119
But if I want to look nice, I will.
00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:52.000
You know what I mean?
00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:53.680
It's fucking eek show style, cat.
00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:57.279
I'll throw a tuxedo on and go to work with it.
00:17:58.480 --> 00:17:59.759
Do you smell fart?
00:18:01.200 --> 00:18:02.559
No, no, it is fart.
00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:03.519
It's ketchup.
00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:05.519
I have ketchup in my mouth.
00:18:05.920 --> 00:18:09.039
Now I'm starting to think that the tuxedo thing isn't that funny.
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:13.680
Stepbrothers, Kat! I'm there with everything.
00:18:13.839 --> 00:18:15.519
The guy I go up to, okay?
00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:19.119
To find number two, which is fucking at the front.
00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:22.960
I don't see it because I'm now sitting in a different part of the RMV.
00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:41.119
I already feel like a fucking asshole could I had to talk to fucking three sizes too fucking big for him, fucking collared shirt with fucking the wrong neck size and a shit ass fucking tie that looks like it's been fucking wrapped around the bottom of a toilet so the P doesn't soak into the floor.
00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:46.799
So when it drips down the fucking hopper or the porcelain bottom, it soaks into the tie.
00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:59.680
He's got that tie on with his fucking oversized, shit ass fucking Sims-collared dress shirt on, his fucking pay less black shoes, making$8.99 an hour.
00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:02.960
He's like, yeah, man, it's over this side.
00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:04.640
And I'm like, okay, thank you.
00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:06.880
I get up there, I'm ready to roll.
00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:18.480
The guy behind the fucking guy, the guy behind this fucking window pane glass that probably protects you from bullets, because everybody who goes there not only wants to kill themselves, but they want to shoot the people that work there.
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:21.200
Because the people that work there want to kill themselves.
00:19:21.519 --> 00:19:23.759
Who wouldn't want to kill themselves at the RMV?
00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:30.160
Not only do you fucking have to be in a place that if you weren't there, when you go there, you want to die, right?
00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:35.519
Rat, motherfucker, put me on a ventilator, I want to die, or be in a coma.
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:39.920
Or go fucking hang myself with each show from a giant tower.
00:19:40.079 --> 00:19:42.319
I'm looking up at it again.
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:45.680
I'd fucking climb that thing in 10 seconds flat.
00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:48.480
This guy wants to kill himself.
00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:49.759
He's got this way.
00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:50.480
He can't talk.
00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:53.119
He's like, you hear?
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:56.240
Right away, I fucking slide him the title.
00:19:56.319 --> 00:19:58.160
I'm like, you need do you need the original?
00:19:58.319 --> 00:19:59.119
Do you want the copies?
00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:05.039
I've got copies, I've got my insurance, I've got my current registration, I've got a copy of my license.
00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:06.319
I did it all.
00:20:06.559 --> 00:20:07.519
I've got a check, right?
00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:10.799
You better have a credit card, man.
00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:13.279
You don't have a credit card.
00:20:13.440 --> 00:20:16.240
And I go, why do you why do I need to have a credit card?
00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:17.680
He doesn't explain himself.
00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:31.839
I found out online that I need to have a credit card, and he wants a credit card because most people that go to the RMV are fucking dog shit, rat fucking poor, and they can't afford to pay with a check, so they don't want that shit to bounce because it takes longer to process.
00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:33.119
You know what I mean?
00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:35.279
And that's true, I get it.
00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:39.279
There's not, you know, you don't go to the RMV and see a bunch of fucking.
00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:44.079
I don't want to be mean, but you don't see the RMV's an interesting place.
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:45.839
It is kind of like jail.
00:20:46.400 --> 00:20:49.200
You you wouldn't expect to see people that are sharp.
00:20:49.359 --> 00:20:50.640
Not even just sharp looking.
00:20:50.720 --> 00:20:53.599
I don't mean rich and I don't mean intelligent.
00:20:53.759 --> 00:20:58.640
Anybody can be creative or smart from anywhere in the world, any color, any race, any gender.
00:20:58.799 --> 00:20:59.920
I'm down with all of it.
00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:01.599
I love the melting part of the world.
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:04.880
I don't want to fucking hang out with people that are just like me.
00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:05.759
I don't.
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:07.519
That's not who I want to hang out with.
00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:19.279
But I also don't want to hang out with people that fucking wrap the tire on the bottom of the fucking toilet to soak up the piss because you don't always get it right in the middle of the fucking bowl.
00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:20.559
Okay?
00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:28.400
Every guy out there knows that sometimes you don't drill the fucking piss stream.
00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:29.759
You gotta be cleanly.
00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:35.519
You gotta mop that shit up, or you gotta fucking grab an extra piece of toilet paper and fucking clean it up.
00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:37.599
Wipe down the fucking bowl.
00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:40.799
Hopefully you put the seat up if you're married or you have kids.
00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:43.359
Hopefully you don't use the toilet that your kids use, right?
00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:44.319
They have their own bathroom.
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:48.400
You don't wanna fucking blast up their fucking potty cat.
00:21:51.119 --> 00:21:54.799
I had a fucking waffle Chick fil A fucking sandwich last night.
00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:59.200
I'll tell you what, man, you wanna fucking go to the moon?
00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:01.680
You wanna Live in you fork space.
00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:05.519
Get the waffle fucking spicy Chick-fil-A sandwich.
00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:08.640
And they do give you a fucking little packet of syrup.
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:12.559
Did you play the lottery yesterday, Joe?
00:22:12.799 --> 00:22:14.960
I didn't, but I fucking hit it.
00:22:15.359 --> 00:22:17.119
You hit the lottery, man?
00:22:17.599 --> 00:22:18.079
I did.
00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:24.319
They gave me fucking a little pack of syrup with my fucking spicy chicken and waffle sandwich.
00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:29.599
I poured the syrup out in our own little fucking ramekin.
00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:36.000
Those little white dishes, the ramekin, you can put ketchup ranch, fucking chili pepper sauce, whatever you want.
00:22:36.400 --> 00:22:41.759
You can put fucking Viking in there crushed up with some mustard if you want to.
00:22:43.200 --> 00:23:10.559
I squeezed a little fucking Vermont made syrup with that fucking girl on the fucking label just staring back at you like drink my syrup, you fucking whore bitch! Can't believe the fucking Vermont syrup later called me a whore! Fucking, I thought it was my dad! Drink your fucking syrup, you bitch!
00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:13.519
Unbelievable, man.
00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:15.119
What a sandwich.
00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:17.519
So I'm up there and the guy running me.
00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:24.880
I can't understand him.
00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:25.519
I can't hear him.
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:28.960
And he he just starts blabbering.
00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:31.039
He's telling me, can't do it right away.
00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:32.319
I can't I can't do this.
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:38.559
You gotta come back there.
00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:41.200
It's gotta be within 30 days.
00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:45.599
There's no fine print on the fucking thing that says 30 days.
00:23:46.720 --> 00:23:53.440
When you get your fucking stamped insurance certificate in Massachusetts, you gotta go within 30 days.
00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:55.039
Now, do I know this?
00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:55.599
No.
00:23:55.839 --> 00:23:57.119
Does it say it online?
00:23:57.359 --> 00:23:57.680
No.
00:23:57.920 --> 00:23:58.720
Should I know?
00:23:58.880 --> 00:23:59.359
Of course.
00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:00.240
It's my fault.
00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:04.079
It's always your fault when you show up somewhere without what you need.
00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:05.759
Let's say you didn't do your homework.
00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:07.200
Let's say you didn't do your work.
00:24:07.359 --> 00:24:12.480
Let's say you forgot to wear a certain amount of stuff or things or color to wherever you're going.
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:15.759
If you didn't wear a tie, you're supposed to fucking shave.
00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:18.160
All those things in life are responsibilities.
00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:20.559
Guy, girl, whatever the fuck you are.
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:24.000
But this is the fucking rat motherfucker.
00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:26.160
Put me on a ventilator, RMV.
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:27.759
I don't want to be here.
00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:29.680
I want to get this shit done.
00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:32.559
I took time out of my workday to come do it.
00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:34.960
I took time away from the eek show.
00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:37.279
That's fucking catastrophic.
00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:40.079
And sure enough, man.
00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.079
Oh, look at this fucking guy.
00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:45.200
Yeah, come come over and tell me I'm doing something wrong.
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:46.559
Fucking national grid.
00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:49.119
Motherfucking truck's gonna come over and say shit.
00:24:49.440 --> 00:24:52.079
This might be a free eek show fucking guest.
00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:58.480
Come on, national grid, bitch! I got a fucking nine iron in the back.
00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:13.839
Not only will I fucking blast it right into his fucking truck, I'll put back spin on it! See, eek show fucking hit that truck! Shit hit the fucking green and it fucking spun back towards the flag.
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:25.440
I'm out of my mind.
00:25:25.599 --> 00:25:26.000
I am.
00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:27.599
I hate the RMV.
00:25:28.799 --> 00:25:30.640
God tells me I can't do it.
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:31.839
Can't do it, man.
00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:32.960
I can't do it.
00:25:34.559 --> 00:25:37.759
Nice enough though, suddenly I'm like, I can't even hear you, man.
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:41.440
He's already yelling at me that I can't have a check, which I thought you needed to have.
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:49.920
It's gonna say masked dot! M-A-S dot! The fucking dirty dot, cut! You from fucking Dorchester?
00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:51.839
The dirty dot.
00:25:52.720 --> 00:26:02.079
Yo! You got a fucking Fenwacker! I meet a couple of my fucking boys up in uh fucking uh the cask.
00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:06.079
Gonna fucking hit up the fucking bleaches.
00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:08.720
He tells me I can't fucking do anything.
00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:09.200
I'm stuck.
00:26:09.279 --> 00:26:10.000
You gotta come back.
00:26:10.160 --> 00:26:12.400
You gotta come back next Wednesday, man.
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:13.839
Fucking.
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:15.759
The guy looks like.
00:26:17.039 --> 00:26:20.720
Oh, he just looks like a fucking pure fucking.
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:21.839
Another guy.
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:23.119
I'm not even gonna make fun of him.
00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:25.119
He looks like someone who wants to die.
00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:39.920
He he himself was already mad at me, didn't know me, didn't know how I prepared who I was, doesn't know my situation, that I want to pay with a check because I just want to pay for the fucking sales tax, the registration fee, and the title fee, and be done with it.
00:26:40.079 --> 00:26:41.759
I want it out of my life.
00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:43.519
I want it to be over.
00:26:43.839 --> 00:26:48.240
I've dealt with this fucking Lexus lease buyout since mid-April.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:56.799
Talking to insurance, talking to the loan company, talking to Lexus, talking to the insurance company, back to Lexus, everybody blaming the other one.
00:26:57.599 --> 00:27:01.680
And and meanwhile, right in the middle of it, Eekshow.
00:27:02.160 --> 00:27:09.279
The fucking Eek Show! A fucking diamond in the middle of fucking shit all around it.
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:11.839
That diamond still shines.
00:27:12.079 --> 00:27:12.400
Okay?
00:27:12.880 --> 00:27:14.799
That diamond still shines.
00:27:20.079 --> 00:27:24.960
Eekshows a diamond that shines.
00:27:27.119 --> 00:27:31.519
And why would I want this to be an episode to tell all the fucking Eek Show land?
00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:39.839
Because I want you guys to buy gas and fucking blow all the RMDMVs up all over the country.
00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:43.759
I don't really want you to do it.
00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:56.160
This isn't a public service announcement, but fictitiously, for humor purposes, okay, for entertainment, I want you to buy into my dream and I want you to end the world.
00:27:56.400 --> 00:28:00.240
I want to rid it of fucking RMVs and DMVs.
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:05.440
I want a world without RMV and DMV and the existence of it.
00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:13.680
I don't care if people fucking drive around with fucking roofs and fucking hoods cut off.
00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:18.000
I don't care if people drive around on fucking one-wheels.
00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:21.519
Oh shit, kid, here comes a motherfucker.
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:26.079
This looks like a fucking Chrysler, fucking some sort of Chrysler.
00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:29.359
It's got a fucking rotted front fucking plate.
00:28:29.519 --> 00:28:32.480
He's like staring me down, like, what are you doing over here, man?
00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:34.240
Filming the eek show, cat.
00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:40.160
Oh, that guy might have a fucking he might literally have a fucking shotgun.
00:28:40.799 --> 00:28:42.400
Oh shit, kid.
00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:44.799
I better watch my fucking stuff.
00:28:46.559 --> 00:28:49.680
That guy's gonna come back and fucking blow my brains up.
00:28:50.880 --> 00:28:52.240
That actually was real, man.
00:28:52.319 --> 00:28:54.480
That guy looked fucking shady.
00:28:59.119 --> 00:29:00.799
He's going to the RMV too, though.
00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:01.759
I just fucking hug him.
00:29:01.920 --> 00:29:04.160
Dude, we're gonna go in there and die together.
00:29:05.039 --> 00:29:06.799
So that's the episode.
00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:08.559
That's the episode.
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:12.079
The place, I don't even need to make it all about the RMV.
00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:13.039
It's just the experience.
00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:22.640
It's just the the you know the anticipation of fucking dying inside a building that you have to go to to make things legal for your fucking car in Massachusetts.
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:26.960
I gotta pay fucking massive tax on the car, which I understand.
00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:30.240
What it's worth now, not then, but it's still worth.
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:33.759
Like it's almost fucking new, which is why Lexus wanted it back.
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:38.880
We'll give you all this deal and make you pay all these fees on the fucking way out.
00:29:39.279 --> 00:29:40.480
So I'm like, fuck this.
00:29:40.559 --> 00:29:48.480
I'm just gonna fucking just gonna buy it from my wife, God! I bought a fucking mallow cup a couple weeks ago.
00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:50.640
Why not buy the fucking car?
00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:53.759
Ink show's fucking off his rocker, man.
00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:58.720
He's buying mallow cups and Lexus's in the same fucking month.
00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:02.960
I bought a Lexus and a Mallow cup.
00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:03.839
Uh-huh.
00:30:04.319 --> 00:30:06.720
I got some chocolate and a Lexus.
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:10.400
A fucking Lexus and a Mallow cup, bitch.
00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:14.799
I gotta go inside that place in about fucking 20 minutes.
00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:18.720
So this may very well be my last episode.
00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:23.279
Rat, motherfucker, put me on a ventilator RMV.
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:26.240
The Eek Show was laid to rest.
00:30:27.359 --> 00:30:29.440
In a building with red brick.
00:30:29.920 --> 00:30:32.799
Fans were screaming and crying all around it.
00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:39.279
He went there to fucking get his car re-registered because it no longer was owned by Lexus.
00:30:39.359 --> 00:30:41.279
It was owned by the Eek Show.
00:30:41.759 --> 00:31:00.799
He had to go pay the sales tax on the lease buyout, get his fucking title renewed or authorized in the state of fucking Mass and pay for the registration to have new plates on a car that no longer was a lease, that no longer was owned by anybody other than the Eek Show.
00:31:01.119 --> 00:31:02.880
And that's where he died.
00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:04.880
That's where he was laid to rest.
00:31:05.039 --> 00:31:07.039
He actually officially isn't dead.
00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:09.759
He was put on a ventilator.
00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:30.720
Hence the initials RMV! That's the lore of the fucking actual word! RMV! Eekshow got that instituted into the state of mass! Rat motherfucker, put me on a ventilator! RMV.
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:33.519
And now the Eekshow's dead.
00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:37.920
And I want all of you to carry out my mission.
00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:40.000
To carry out my dream.
00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:42.960
Rid the world of RM and DMVs.
00:31:45.039 --> 00:31:47.920
Rid the world of registry of motor vehicles.
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:58.880
Rid the world of awkwardness and paperwork and phone calls and signatures and dates and stamps and fees and costs.
00:31:59.119 --> 00:32:01.359
Rid the world of all that shit.
00:32:03.279 --> 00:32:16.720
I want to go back to prehistoric times where cavemen just screamed at each other, hit people in a fucking head with a fucking club, and ate fucking bugs and fucking dead dinosaur meat.
00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:28.880
If I lived as a caveman, I would have fucking cooked up a pterodactyl wing! Oh, Ekso's having fucking wings! It's a pterodactyl wing.
00:32:28.960 --> 00:32:57.920
It looks like it's teriyaki, man! Cheriaki pterodactyl! I want fucking teriyaki pterodactyl wings! And I wanna be able to dip them in my fucking ramekin fucking little jar of fucking Vermont! She called me a whore syrup! Shut up! I hope everybody out in Eaksholand has a better day or morning.
00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:03.599
Not only that I'm gonna have, because I'm gonna go fucking die over the next two hours in that place.
00:33:04.640 --> 00:33:06.079
I'm looking right at it right now.
00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:06.880
I'm looking at it.
00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:14.480
I hate you! I hate you! I'm beeping at it! I hate you, RP! It's fucking real.
00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:21.039
I'm sitting here right by this fucking tower that I'm gonna climb with one arm that I already have climbed.
00:33:21.519 --> 00:33:24.880
There's barbed wire around it so you can't climb it.
00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:31.599
I'll go over there and gnaw the fucking barbed wire off with my teeth! I'm gonna go over there to die.
00:33:33.359 --> 00:33:35.839
And I'm sure something's gonna go wrong again.
00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:39.359
That's how insecure and afraid I am of that place.
00:33:40.160 --> 00:33:41.759
I don't wanna go there.
00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:44.799
I don't wanna go in there.
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:46.480
I don't wanna go.
00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:51.440
You afraid of fucking fire, spiders, fucking.
00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:54.640
I know you're afraid of bears, but are you afraid of anything else?
00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:56.240
I'm afraid of the RMV.
00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:56.799
Okay?
00:33:57.200 --> 00:33:58.640
I'm afraid of it.
00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:04.559
And I'm gonna be on a ventilator in about fucking an hour or two.
00:34:04.880 --> 00:34:07.279
So carry on the word of the Eekshow.
00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:10.639
Carry on the legend that is Eeksho.
00:34:12.079 --> 00:34:17.280
The one thing I implore you, please carry out my mission.
00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:20.559
Buy up all the gas and end.
00:34:21.840 --> 00:34:27.360
End the world's fucking existence of RMV DMV locations.
00:34:27.679 --> 00:34:28.719
End them all.
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:31.519
Okay?
00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:33.519
I want this like Fight Club.
00:34:33.679 --> 00:34:35.599
I want missions carried out.
00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:48.480
The first rule of Eekshow is to not talk about what Eekshow told you to do, which is to end the world, free the world of RMVs and DMVs.
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:51.440
That is all.
00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:16.480
It's the show.
00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:31.920
It's the e show.
00:00:35.759 --> 00:00:38.159
Driver's license and registration, please.
00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:39.439
Yeah, give me a minute.
00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:40.000
I'll get it.
00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:40.399
Hold on.
00:00:40.560 --> 00:00:42.320
Driver's license and registration, please.
00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:43.679
I heard you, brother.
00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:45.280
Give me a fucking minute.
00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:47.520
Driver's license and registration, please.
00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:58.079
Hey man! That's three times! I gotta fucking go into the registration of motor vehicles, fucking rat, motherfucker! Put me on a ventilator.
00:00:58.320 --> 00:01:00.079
Can't deal with this shit.
00:01:00.479 --> 00:01:02.880
Fucking the uh you know the eek show is?
00:01:03.119 --> 00:01:03.600
Yeah.
00:01:03.759 --> 00:01:05.280
Okay, so give me a minute.
00:01:05.519 --> 00:01:07.680
You gotta get through the eek show first.
00:01:12.319 --> 00:01:14.400
R 508.
00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:18.319
Come to window number two.
00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:22.480
R 508.
00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:25.840
Window number two.
00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:32.239
I said welcome to the eek show ya.
00:01:34.319 --> 00:01:38.719
I said welcome to the eekshow.
00:01:40.480 --> 00:01:44.959
I said welcome to the eekshow.
00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:54.719
Eekshow dot show That's the Instagram where you fucking find all the fucking little Easter egg fucking pellets.
00:01:54.879 --> 00:02:04.560
Fucking I'm Pac-Man and you're a fucking ghost! Are you inky blinky dot or fucking Dale or whatever the fucking fourth one's name is?
00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:06.719
What do you got?
00:02:06.799 --> 00:02:09.439
Red, orange, yellow, and fucking pink?
00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:11.439
One of them might be pinky.
00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:14.159
Oh, who the fuck is Inky, bitch?
00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:17.759
Is that fucking winky?
00:02:18.240 --> 00:02:21.199
No, man, that's fucking pinky, bitch.
00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:32.560
I want you to be a fucking Pac-Man ghost, so I can fucking eat you and spit you out, cad! Watch your eyes fucking race back to the middle of that box.
00:02:33.039 --> 00:02:36.400
So you can get your fucking ghost coat on again.
00:02:38.960 --> 00:02:42.800
Eekshow! Walkies, walkies, walkies, walkies, walkies, walkies, walkies.
00:02:43.039 --> 00:02:44.800
That's eek show backwards, cat.
00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:49.280
Fucking Mary Lou's coffee.
00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:49.759
Uh-huh.
00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:57.439
There's a pink fucking there's a giant fucking pink cup of coffee just on top of a post in front of their building.
00:02:57.919 --> 00:02:59.199
And it's pink.
00:02:59.439 --> 00:03:01.520
Yo, is that pinky bitch?
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:08.159
Yo! Coffee fucking blows ass, Mary Lou.
00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:09.120
I'm kidding.
00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:10.960
I don't know your business, Mary Lou.
00:03:11.039 --> 00:03:12.560
I had your coffee once.
00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:15.120
Like fucking 13 years ago, man.
00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:20.319
I used to live right down the street from this place where I'm sitting right now in traffic.
00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:24.960
Fucking move! Oh, nice! Stop short.
00:03:25.199 --> 00:03:27.120
Cause accidents, that's great.
00:03:28.479 --> 00:03:29.039
Yeah.
00:03:29.280 --> 00:03:31.599
Yeah, put your thumb out, you fucking dink ass.
00:03:31.919 --> 00:03:34.960
Go! Dude, what is going on now?
00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:36.639
What is he the horns?
00:03:37.039 --> 00:03:41.680
Fucking key a fucking dot soul! Bitch ass.
00:03:42.479 --> 00:03:45.280
Fucking stupid ass bitch ass.
00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:51.520
You wanna know what the episode's about today, huh?
00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:57.919
You wanna fucking pull the curtain back and see who's fucking what Oz is gonna talk about?
00:03:58.479 --> 00:04:04.800
The great and powerful Eek Show! Hey, that's for you.
00:04:04.879 --> 00:04:07.840
I uh I give you uh this heart.
00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:10.719
So you can have and live your dreams.
00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:12.879
Fucking Tin Man ka.
00:04:15.520 --> 00:04:22.480
I would have fucking tuck a sledgehammer and just smashed fucking Tin Man's fucking chest, put a big dead in him.
00:04:24.959 --> 00:04:38.879
Today's episode, in the calmest form imaginable, I wanna talk about a place that I call rat motherfucker put me on a fucking ventilator.
00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:40.720
Cause I want to be dead.
00:04:41.040 --> 00:04:44.079
I want you to put me to fucking sleep.
00:04:44.879 --> 00:04:46.480
Put me in a coma.
00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:50.560
So I don't have to experience any of it in real time.
00:04:50.879 --> 00:04:55.360
If you take a listen to those fucking first initials, the acronym.
00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:57.360
Rat is R.
00:04:57.759 --> 00:04:59.360
Motherfucker is M.
00:04:59.920 --> 00:05:01.680
Put me on a ventilator.
00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:06.560
It actually is a PMO V.
00:05:07.120 --> 00:05:10.079
But I just wanna I just wanna reference the V.
00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:16.639
So RM V, you know what it spells, yeah.
00:05:18.079 --> 00:05:21.920
Registry of Motor Vehicles.
00:05:22.160 --> 00:05:29.040
And that, my friends, is where literally people go to fucking die.
00:05:29.519 --> 00:05:31.199
That's where they go to die.
00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:39.680
I'm pulling the left there, look at it! It's in blue, it's on fucking Columbian Street and fucking brain tree mass.
00:05:39.759 --> 00:05:43.120
There's a squirrel right now eating a fucking little acorn.
00:05:43.439 --> 00:05:44.480
I'm gonna talk to him.
00:05:44.560 --> 00:05:45.920
I'm gonna talk to him.
00:05:46.160 --> 00:05:48.079
What's up, squirrel, bitch?
00:05:48.240 --> 00:05:51.279
Hey man, how's your fucking acorn nut?
00:05:51.439 --> 00:05:51.839
Huh?
00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:54.879
I gotta go to the fucking rat motherfucker.
00:05:55.040 --> 00:06:05.279
Put me on a ventilator, bitch! I'm way early for my appointment because I want my death to be even slower than it's gonna be.
00:06:05.519 --> 00:06:07.759
It's another sign with the RMV on it.
00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:14.879
Rat motherfucking, put me on a ventilator! The place is fucking cursed.
00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:27.839
Absolutely cursed! I'll tell ya, full-fledged, I'd rather be fucking put on fire, set on fire, than have to fucking hang out at this motherfucking place, man.
00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:30.959
I'd rather be set on fire.
00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:39.920
I'd rather be set on fucking fire with gasoline poured on my face than have to go to this fucking place, man.
00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:41.759
And I'm gonna tell you why.
00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:42.480
Okay?
00:06:42.720 --> 00:06:43.759
I'm gonna tell you why.
00:06:43.920 --> 00:06:55.519
A little fucking tale I like to call Lexus sucks ass! I'm not talking about Lexus to be fucking doucheworthy or fucking uppity or yuppie bitch.
00:06:55.600 --> 00:07:00.959
I'm staring right now at a fucking 150 foot tall.
00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:03.360
Is that about the fucking moving?
00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:07.680
Dude, that shit is fucking high as fuck.
00:07:08.160 --> 00:07:12.480
Right now I'm looking at a goddamn fucking TV tower.
00:07:13.199 --> 00:07:15.120
Or whatever the fuck it is.
00:07:15.519 --> 00:07:20.079
You're lucky I don't climb up there and fucking high dive into the fucking pavement.
00:07:21.519 --> 00:07:22.800
Tell you that'd be worth it.
00:07:22.959 --> 00:07:24.639
Just come down and fucking splat.
00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:28.079
Did you get your registration done, man?
00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:31.279
No, man.
00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:40.399
I fucking climbed up the fucking TV tower right near it and fucking pulled off a back fucking inward four and a half right into the pavement.
00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:43.040
Crushed my shoulders, huh?
00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:47.040
My teeth ended up in the back of my fucking skull.
00:07:48.560 --> 00:07:50.480
So you didn't get registered, huh?
00:07:50.720 --> 00:07:53.360
Nah, man, but I feel better about it.
00:07:53.680 --> 00:07:59.600
I'd rather have fucking no more life than have to go into that fucking shit ass place.
00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:02.319
I'm talking about the DMV.
00:08:02.480 --> 00:08:05.680
Driver motor vehicles, whatever the fuck the DMV means.
00:08:06.079 --> 00:08:12.240
In Massachusetts, it's called the RMV, because everything about Massachusetts has gotta be particular.
00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:14.240
You gotta pay your excise tax.
00:08:14.639 --> 00:08:16.959
You gotta do this, you gotta sign that.
00:08:17.040 --> 00:08:18.480
You gotta get a stamp.
00:08:19.600 --> 00:08:22.399
In Massachusetts, you gotta get a stamp.
00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:23.279
Come here, love.
00:08:27.199 --> 00:08:36.559
Insurance, registration, fucking license renewal, taxes, health coverage, excise tax.
00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:42.320
It's all the bullshit you have to potentially get in Massachusetts that's different than anywhere else.
00:08:42.399 --> 00:08:46.799
Okay, I know everywhere else in life sucks ass too, but not like here.
00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:53.039
I've lived in New York, I've lived in upstate, I lived in California, I lived in Virginia.
00:08:53.279 --> 00:09:00.159
There is no place like here when it comes to fucking bullshit, money, scam, tax.
00:09:00.720 --> 00:09:06.639
We're gonna be more fucking fucked up than any other state, even though it's beautiful here.
00:09:06.799 --> 00:09:13.279
I love the ocean, I love the sports, I love the fucking food, I love the people overall.
00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:16.080
A lot of them are motherfucking bitch asses.
00:09:17.120 --> 00:09:19.039
Not the Eek Show, huh?
00:09:19.200 --> 00:09:22.639
The Eek Show is all knowing worldwide.
00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:30.240
Tony, I'm staring at this fucking tower right now, and I know I can climb it with one arm.
00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:38.159
Yo, Eeksho's out there climbing the fucking TV fucking electrical tower by the fucking rat motherfucker.
00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:42.480
Put me on a ventilator! Place where you go to get your fucking car shit done.
00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:45.360
Guys fucking climbing it with one arm.
00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:50.399
It's a fucking madhouse of fucking people down there just watching them.
00:09:51.759 --> 00:09:58.559
This motherfucking place, man, every time you go, every time you have to go, you're gonna be there at least a couple hours.
00:09:58.720 --> 00:10:00.159
Okay, one hour plus.
00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:01.679
Gar and fucking team.
00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:06.480
You set up an appointment online, which is quote unquote a newer thing the last few years.
00:10:06.639 --> 00:10:08.480
They also moved the location.
00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:09.919
Okay?
00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:21.679
It's set off in a fucking remote area where you literally know if I was gonna put myself on fire and just die, this would be the perfect place to do it.
00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:25.039
This would be the perfect place to do it.
00:10:25.200 --> 00:10:27.039
I don't want to hurt anybody else.
00:10:27.279 --> 00:10:38.080
Now I don't like or want to be around anybody in that rat motherfucker, put me on a ventilator, RMV place, but I'll tell you what, I don't wish harm upon others.
00:10:38.320 --> 00:10:41.759
But I want it upon myself when I have to go to this place.
00:10:42.000 --> 00:10:44.240
It's 8 11 in the morning.
00:10:44.399 --> 00:10:46.240
My appointment's in an hour.
00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:46.879
Okay?
00:10:47.279 --> 00:10:50.320
And of course I'm fucking well on time.
00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:53.200
15 minutes early is on time.
00:10:53.360 --> 00:10:55.919
Remember that for all you interviewers out there.
00:10:57.200 --> 00:11:00.799
I came fucking last week fully prepared.
00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:06.000
I had the fucking title and application ready to go because fucking Lexus.
00:11:06.559 --> 00:11:09.039
We bought out a lease back in April, okay?
00:11:09.200 --> 00:11:10.480
We bought out a lease.
00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:13.600
Not my car, my wife's car.
00:11:13.840 --> 00:11:15.279
She's my queen.
00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:16.480
I love her.
00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:20.480
I bought out her lease, she doesn't have to fucking ever worry about a fucking car.
00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:22.000
This thing's fucking mint.
00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:23.840
Low mileage on it.
00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:26.080
We got it a couple years after COVID.
00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:27.679
That thing's fucking beautiful.
00:11:27.840 --> 00:11:37.200
If we s gave the lease back and flipped into a new one, which we've done for years in the past, this they would have fucking sold this car for near 50,000 bucks.
00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:39.519
Okay, again, that's not to be a douche rocket.
00:11:40.879 --> 00:11:42.240
That's just to tell you the truth.
00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:44.240
That's each show fucking truth.
00:11:44.559 --> 00:11:46.799
Got bought out the lease, okay?
00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:50.879
Didn't pay it off entirely, got a loan payment.
00:11:51.519 --> 00:11:54.320
I don't have a ton of debt other than the home, so fuck it.
00:11:54.480 --> 00:11:56.720
Okay, I wanted to fucking have a nice car.
00:11:56.799 --> 00:12:00.159
That's almost like the thing is literally like it's brand new still.
00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:02.799
It's like 22,000 miles on it.
00:12:04.720 --> 00:12:06.320
You know what Lexus does?
00:12:06.399 --> 00:12:09.360
The fucking illustrious fucking luxury brand.
00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:15.200
It took him four months to send me the fucking title because they lost it in the mail.
00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:30.320
Do you wanna hear fucking Eeksho bitch about fucking his bullshit fucking asshole fucking state title being lost in the mail by fucking Lexus, which is a fucking yuppie uppity fucking car brand?
00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:37.200
No, I don't think you do, but you're gonna hear it because it's a fucking prequel to where I am right now.
00:12:37.519 --> 00:12:40.159
It's where I fucking wanna go to die.
00:12:41.039 --> 00:12:44.480
If you ever saw Zootopia, the sloths, okay?
00:12:44.639 --> 00:12:56.399
The sloths that work at the fucking registry of motor vehicles, driver motor vehicles, whatever the fucking DMV stands for in other states, Massachusetts, huh?
00:12:56.639 --> 00:12:59.360
They wanna have their own fucking way of saying things.
00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:07.039
OUI laws in the ma in the United States are all pretty similar, except in Massachusetts.
00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:10.000
They're stricter and more crazy.
00:13:11.519 --> 00:13:24.559
There's all kinds of things about Massachusetts that want to make you fucking tie a big giant noose and hang! But I'll tell you what, if I was gonna fucking actually hang, I'd be at the top of this fucking tower.
00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:28.559
I'm leaning down, I'm below the phone right now, my voice is rising.
00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:32.080
This motherfucker is 150 plus feet up.
00:13:32.559 --> 00:13:48.799
I'd fucking climb to the top with one arm, fucking put the noose up with my other fucking foot, attach it to that fucking bulbous fucking satellite shell up the top, and I just fucking hang right down.
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:59.519
People are screaming, they're crying, oh no god, oh they're already coming out of the fucking rat motherfucker, putting me on a ventilator fucking RMV.
00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:02.720
They already wanna die, but now they see Ekshow hanging.
00:14:02.960 --> 00:14:12.159
Oh god, oh god, oh no! I don't know how I'm gonna go another fucking year, month, week, or day without his fucking podcast.
00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:14.320
I just don't know how I'm gonna do it.
00:14:14.639 --> 00:14:17.519
Oh god, please, please.
00:14:17.840 --> 00:14:28.320
Ekshow! I'm gonna open the window and yell to him, Ekshow! Ink show! That's probably fucking five-hos around here.
00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:30.879
Yo, man, you have for your registration, man.
00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:35.919
You gotta have this paper and that sign and the blue ink stain on the fucking bottom right.
00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:41.279
And it's gotta be 30 days within the acceptance of you talking to your insurance agent.
00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:43.200
Cause that's what happened.
00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:45.679
I show up last week, ready to go.
00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:47.840
I got the fucking application, okay?
00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:53.679
I finally got the state title of proof of title for the fucking Lexus, okay?
00:14:53.919 --> 00:15:00.559
I finally got all the paperwork from those motherfuckers who don't do shit, don't change their website.
00:15:00.879 --> 00:15:04.639
Lexus Financial's a shit ass fucking website, by the way.
00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:05.919
Be weary.
00:15:06.159 --> 00:15:07.759
No, you gonna call me out?
00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:08.879
Go ahead.
00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:14.960
Never miss one payment for like fucking 12 years of their fucking dog shit.
00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:24.639
And I'm not saying I should be honored because I didn't miss a car payment, but the way that they run that fucking website, haha! They're lucky I didn't fucking try to melt it.
00:15:25.039 --> 00:15:28.559
Yo, yo, Higgshow, how do you melt a fucking website, dude?
00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:31.600
Light it on fire, man.
00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:39.440
Of course that wouldn't work, and I'm just fucking out of my mind right now because I gotta walk into a fucking prison.
00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:41.279
Cause that's what the RMV is.
00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:42.960
It's fucking jail.
00:15:44.399 --> 00:15:48.960
Yo, uh someone told me you were complaining you you were in jail, you're arrested.
00:15:49.039 --> 00:15:50.000
Yeah, I was, man.
00:15:50.159 --> 00:15:53.360
I went to the fucking RMV, I was there for like five hours.
00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:55.679
What'd you get done, Ekshaw?
00:15:56.159 --> 00:15:57.759
I got nothing done.
00:15:57.919 --> 00:16:00.000
I had everything itemized and ready to go.
00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:02.799
I get up there, I wait an hour and a half.
00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:10.399
Prior, I made an appointment for a specific time that I was 15 to 20 minutes early for, and I still waited an hour and a half.
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:20.080
And when I walked up, okay, when I walked up, I'll even tell you the truth, there's numbers two through twenty staring in front of us.
00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:26.240
R125, please go up to the the ninth terminal.
00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:31.840
Q445, please go up to the fifth terminal.
00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:34.960
I wait the hour and fucking 40 minutes.
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:41.360
They're like, R123, please go up to the second terminal.
00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:44.799
I look up, and there's three through twenty.
00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:46.639
I don't see two.
00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:53.039
Now I see that at the end of three to my left, there's another hallway, so I go over, there's no hallway.
00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:58.799
Not only did I wait one hour and 40 minutes, I nearly walked into a fucking wall in a door.
00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:02.960
And of course I have to ask the fucking.
00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:05.920
The guy should be making$8.99 an hour.
00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:07.440
And don't even give him the nine bucks.
00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:08.640
$8.99 an hour.
00:17:08.799 --> 00:17:19.759
He's got the fucking sort of legal, police, insurance, security agent combination, you know, oversized pants, bad shirt, you buy it.
00:17:19.839 --> 00:17:20.640
Fucking Sims.
00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:28.559
Sims is a fucking shit ass fucking department store, S Y M S that used to exist in New England, Massachusetts area.
00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:32.400
It's like Burlington Coat Factory, but it's called Sims.
00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:34.160
And it sucks, okay?
00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:36.880
Suck your motherfucking shit ass.
00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:38.480
S Y M S.
00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:40.799
Suck your motherfucking shit ass.
00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:43.599
You go there if you want shit clothes.
00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:45.839
You can tell when someone's wearing shit.
00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:48.160
You know, I'm not saying I'm a fucking good dresser.
00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:48.799
Not.
00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:51.119
But if I want to look nice, I will.
00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:52.000
You know what I mean?
00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:53.680
It's fucking eek show style, cat.
00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:57.279
I'll throw a tuxedo on and go to work with it.
00:17:58.480 --> 00:17:59.759
Do you smell fart?
00:18:01.200 --> 00:18:02.559
No, no, it is fart.
00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:03.519
It's ketchup.
00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:05.519
I have ketchup in my mouth.
00:18:05.920 --> 00:18:09.039
Now I'm starting to think that the tuxedo thing isn't that funny.
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:13.680
Stepbrothers, Kat! I'm there with everything.
00:18:13.839 --> 00:18:15.519
The guy I go up to, okay?
00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:19.119
To find number two, which is fucking at the front.
00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:22.960
I don't see it because I'm now sitting in a different part of the RMV.
00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:41.119
I already feel like a fucking asshole could I had to talk to fucking three sizes too fucking big for him, fucking collared shirt with fucking the wrong neck size and a shit ass fucking tie that looks like it's been fucking wrapped around the bottom of a toilet so the P doesn't soak into the floor.
00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:46.799
So when it drips down the fucking hopper or the porcelain bottom, it soaks into the tie.
00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:59.680
He's got that tie on with his fucking oversized, shit ass fucking Sims-collared dress shirt on, his fucking pay less black shoes, making$8.99 an hour.
00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:02.960
He's like, yeah, man, it's over this side.
00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:04.640
And I'm like, okay, thank you.
00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:06.880
I get up there, I'm ready to roll.
00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:18.480
The guy behind the fucking guy, the guy behind this fucking window pane glass that probably protects you from bullets, because everybody who goes there not only wants to kill themselves, but they want to shoot the people that work there.
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:21.200
Because the people that work there want to kill themselves.
00:19:21.519 --> 00:19:23.759
Who wouldn't want to kill themselves at the RMV?
00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:30.160
Not only do you fucking have to be in a place that if you weren't there, when you go there, you want to die, right?
00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:35.519
Rat, motherfucker, put me on a ventilator, I want to die, or be in a coma.
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:39.920
Or go fucking hang myself with each show from a giant tower.
00:19:40.079 --> 00:19:42.319
I'm looking up at it again.
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:45.680
I'd fucking climb that thing in 10 seconds flat.
00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:48.480
This guy wants to kill himself.
00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:49.759
He's got this way.
00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:50.480
He can't talk.
00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:53.119
He's like, you hear?
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:56.240
Right away, I fucking slide him the title.
00:19:56.319 --> 00:19:58.160
I'm like, you need do you need the original?
00:19:58.319 --> 00:19:59.119
Do you want the copies?
00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:05.039
I've got copies, I've got my insurance, I've got my current registration, I've got a copy of my license.
00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:06.319
I did it all.
00:20:06.559 --> 00:20:07.519
I've got a check, right?
00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:10.799
You better have a credit card, man.
00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:13.279
You don't have a credit card.
00:20:13.440 --> 00:20:16.240
And I go, why do you why do I need to have a credit card?
00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:17.680
He doesn't explain himself.
00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:31.839
I found out online that I need to have a credit card, and he wants a credit card because most people that go to the RMV are fucking dog shit, rat fucking poor, and they can't afford to pay with a check, so they don't want that shit to bounce because it takes longer to process.
00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:33.119
You know what I mean?
00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:35.279
And that's true, I get it.
00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:39.279
There's not, you know, you don't go to the RMV and see a bunch of fucking.
00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:44.079
I don't want to be mean, but you don't see the RMV's an interesting place.
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:45.839
It is kind of like jail.
00:20:46.400 --> 00:20:49.200
You you wouldn't expect to see people that are sharp.
00:20:49.359 --> 00:20:50.640
Not even just sharp looking.
00:20:50.720 --> 00:20:53.599
I don't mean rich and I don't mean intelligent.
00:20:53.759 --> 00:20:58.640
Anybody can be creative or smart from anywhere in the world, any color, any race, any gender.
00:20:58.799 --> 00:20:59.920
I'm down with all of it.
00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:01.599
I love the melting part of the world.
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:04.880
I don't want to fucking hang out with people that are just like me.
00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:05.759
I don't.
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:07.519
That's not who I want to hang out with.
00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:19.279
But I also don't want to hang out with people that fucking wrap the tire on the bottom of the fucking toilet to soak up the piss because you don't always get it right in the middle of the fucking bowl.
00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:20.559
Okay?
00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:28.400
Every guy out there knows that sometimes you don't drill the fucking piss stream.
00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:29.759
You gotta be cleanly.
00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:35.519
You gotta mop that shit up, or you gotta fucking grab an extra piece of toilet paper and fucking clean it up.
00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:37.599
Wipe down the fucking bowl.
00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:40.799
Hopefully you put the seat up if you're married or you have kids.
00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:43.359
Hopefully you don't use the toilet that your kids use, right?
00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:44.319
They have their own bathroom.
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:48.400
You don't wanna fucking blast up their fucking potty cat.
00:21:51.119 --> 00:21:54.799
I had a fucking waffle Chick fil A fucking sandwich last night.
00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:59.200
I'll tell you what, man, you wanna fucking go to the moon?
00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:01.680
You wanna Live in you fork space.
00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:05.519
Get the waffle fucking spicy Chick-fil-A sandwich.
00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:08.640
And they do give you a fucking little packet of syrup.
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:12.559
Did you play the lottery yesterday, Joe?
00:22:12.799 --> 00:22:14.960
I didn't, but I fucking hit it.
00:22:15.359 --> 00:22:17.119
You hit the lottery, man?
00:22:17.599 --> 00:22:18.079
I did.
00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:24.319
They gave me fucking a little pack of syrup with my fucking spicy chicken and waffle sandwich.
00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:29.599
I poured the syrup out in our own little fucking ramekin.
00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:36.000
Those little white dishes, the ramekin, you can put ketchup ranch, fucking chili pepper sauce, whatever you want.
00:22:36.400 --> 00:22:41.759
You can put fucking Viking in there crushed up with some mustard if you want to.
00:22:43.200 --> 00:23:10.559
I squeezed a little fucking Vermont made syrup with that fucking girl on the fucking label just staring back at you like drink my syrup, you fucking whore bitch! Can't believe the fucking Vermont syrup later called me a whore! Fucking, I thought it was my dad! Drink your fucking syrup, you bitch!
00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:13.519
Unbelievable, man.
00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:15.119
What a sandwich.
00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:17.519
So I'm up there and the guy running me.
00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:24.880
I can't understand him.
00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:25.519
I can't hear him.
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:28.960
And he he just starts blabbering.
00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:31.039
He's telling me, can't do it right away.
00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:32.319
I can't I can't do this.
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:38.559
You gotta come back there.
00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:41.200
It's gotta be within 30 days.
00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:45.599
There's no fine print on the fucking thing that says 30 days.
00:23:46.720 --> 00:23:53.440
When you get your fucking stamped insurance certificate in Massachusetts, you gotta go within 30 days.
00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:55.039
Now, do I know this?
00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:55.599
No.
00:23:55.839 --> 00:23:57.119
Does it say it online?
00:23:57.359 --> 00:23:57.680
No.
00:23:57.920 --> 00:23:58.720
Should I know?
00:23:58.880 --> 00:23:59.359
Of course.
00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:00.240
It's my fault.
00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:04.079
It's always your fault when you show up somewhere without what you need.
00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:05.759
Let's say you didn't do your homework.
00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:07.200
Let's say you didn't do your work.
00:24:07.359 --> 00:24:12.480
Let's say you forgot to wear a certain amount of stuff or things or color to wherever you're going.
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:15.759
If you didn't wear a tie, you're supposed to fucking shave.
00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:18.160
All those things in life are responsibilities.
00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:20.559
Guy, girl, whatever the fuck you are.
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:24.000
But this is the fucking rat motherfucker.
00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:26.160
Put me on a ventilator, RMV.
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:27.759
I don't want to be here.
00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:29.680
I want to get this shit done.
00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:32.559
I took time out of my workday to come do it.
00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:34.960
I took time away from the eek show.
00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:37.279
That's fucking catastrophic.
00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:40.079
And sure enough, man.
00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.079
Oh, look at this fucking guy.
00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:45.200
Yeah, come come over and tell me I'm doing something wrong.
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:46.559
Fucking national grid.
00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:49.119
Motherfucking truck's gonna come over and say shit.
00:24:49.440 --> 00:24:52.079
This might be a free eek show fucking guest.
00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:58.480
Come on, national grid, bitch! I got a fucking nine iron in the back.
00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:13.839
Not only will I fucking blast it right into his fucking truck, I'll put back spin on it! See, eek show fucking hit that truck! Shit hit the fucking green and it fucking spun back towards the flag.
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:25.440
I'm out of my mind.
00:25:25.599 --> 00:25:26.000
I am.
00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:27.599
I hate the RMV.
00:25:28.799 --> 00:25:30.640
God tells me I can't do it.
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:31.839
Can't do it, man.
00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:32.960
I can't do it.
00:25:34.559 --> 00:25:37.759
Nice enough though, suddenly I'm like, I can't even hear you, man.
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:41.440
He's already yelling at me that I can't have a check, which I thought you needed to have.
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:49.920
It's gonna say masked dot! M-A-S dot! The fucking dirty dot, cut! You from fucking Dorchester?
00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:51.839
The dirty dot.
00:25:52.720 --> 00:26:02.079
Yo! You got a fucking Fenwacker! I meet a couple of my fucking boys up in uh fucking uh the cask.
00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:06.079
Gonna fucking hit up the fucking bleaches.
00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:08.720
He tells me I can't fucking do anything.
00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:09.200
I'm stuck.
00:26:09.279 --> 00:26:10.000
You gotta come back.
00:26:10.160 --> 00:26:12.400
You gotta come back next Wednesday, man.
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:13.839
Fucking.
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:15.759
The guy looks like.
00:26:17.039 --> 00:26:20.720
Oh, he just looks like a fucking pure fucking.
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:21.839
Another guy.
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:23.119
I'm not even gonna make fun of him.
00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:25.119
He looks like someone who wants to die.
00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:39.920
He he himself was already mad at me, didn't know me, didn't know how I prepared who I was, doesn't know my situation, that I want to pay with a check because I just want to pay for the fucking sales tax, the registration fee, and the title fee, and be done with it.
00:26:40.079 --> 00:26:41.759
I want it out of my life.
00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:43.519
I want it to be over.
00:26:43.839 --> 00:26:48.240
I've dealt with this fucking Lexus lease buyout since mid-April.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:56.799
Talking to insurance, talking to the loan company, talking to Lexus, talking to the insurance company, back to Lexus, everybody blaming the other one.
00:26:57.599 --> 00:27:01.680
And and meanwhile, right in the middle of it, Eekshow.
00:27:02.160 --> 00:27:09.279
The fucking Eek Show! A fucking diamond in the middle of fucking shit all around it.
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:11.839
That diamond still shines.
00:27:12.079 --> 00:27:12.400
Okay?
00:27:12.880 --> 00:27:14.799
That diamond still shines.
00:27:20.079 --> 00:27:24.960
Eekshows a diamond that shines.
00:27:27.119 --> 00:27:31.519
And why would I want this to be an episode to tell all the fucking Eek Show land?
00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:39.839
Because I want you guys to buy gas and fucking blow all the RMDMVs up all over the country.
00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:43.759
I don't really want you to do it.
00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:56.160
This isn't a public service announcement, but fictitiously, for humor purposes, okay, for entertainment, I want you to buy into my dream and I want you to end the world.
00:27:56.400 --> 00:28:00.240
I want to rid it of fucking RMVs and DMVs.
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:05.440
I want a world without RMV and DMV and the existence of it.
00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:13.680
I don't care if people fucking drive around with fucking roofs and fucking hoods cut off.
00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:18.000
I don't care if people drive around on fucking one-wheels.
00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:21.519
Oh shit, kid, here comes a motherfucker.
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:26.079
This looks like a fucking Chrysler, fucking some sort of Chrysler.
00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:29.359
It's got a fucking rotted front fucking plate.
00:28:29.519 --> 00:28:32.480
He's like staring me down, like, what are you doing over here, man?
00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:34.240
Filming the eek show, cat.
00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:40.160
Oh, that guy might have a fucking he might literally have a fucking shotgun.
00:28:40.799 --> 00:28:42.400
Oh shit, kid.
00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:44.799
I better watch my fucking stuff.
00:28:46.559 --> 00:28:49.680
That guy's gonna come back and fucking blow my brains up.
00:28:50.880 --> 00:28:52.240
That actually was real, man.
00:28:52.319 --> 00:28:54.480
That guy looked fucking shady.
00:28:59.119 --> 00:29:00.799
He's going to the RMV too, though.
00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:01.759
I just fucking hug him.
00:29:01.920 --> 00:29:04.160
Dude, we're gonna go in there and die together.
00:29:05.039 --> 00:29:06.799
So that's the episode.
00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:08.559
That's the episode.
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:12.079
The place, I don't even need to make it all about the RMV.
00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:13.039
It's just the experience.
00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:22.640
It's just the the you know the anticipation of fucking dying inside a building that you have to go to to make things legal for your fucking car in Massachusetts.
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:26.960
I gotta pay fucking massive tax on the car, which I understand.
00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:30.240
What it's worth now, not then, but it's still worth.
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:33.759
Like it's almost fucking new, which is why Lexus wanted it back.
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:38.880
We'll give you all this deal and make you pay all these fees on the fucking way out.
00:29:39.279 --> 00:29:40.480
So I'm like, fuck this.
00:29:40.559 --> 00:29:48.480
I'm just gonna fucking just gonna buy it from my wife, God! I bought a fucking mallow cup a couple weeks ago.
00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:50.640
Why not buy the fucking car?
00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:53.759
Ink show's fucking off his rocker, man.
00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:58.720
He's buying mallow cups and Lexus's in the same fucking month.
00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:02.960
I bought a Lexus and a Mallow cup.
00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:03.839
Uh-huh.
00:30:04.319 --> 00:30:06.720
I got some chocolate and a Lexus.
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:10.400
A fucking Lexus and a Mallow cup, bitch.
00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:14.799
I gotta go inside that place in about fucking 20 minutes.
00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:18.720
So this may very well be my last episode.
00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:23.279
Rat, motherfucker, put me on a ventilator RMV.
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:26.240
The Eek Show was laid to rest.
00:30:27.359 --> 00:30:29.440
In a building with red brick.
00:30:29.920 --> 00:30:32.799
Fans were screaming and crying all around it.
00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:39.279
He went there to fucking get his car re-registered because it no longer was owned by Lexus.
00:30:39.359 --> 00:30:41.279
It was owned by the Eek Show.
00:30:41.759 --> 00:31:00.799
He had to go pay the sales tax on the lease buyout, get his fucking title renewed or authorized in the state of fucking Mass and pay for the registration to have new plates on a car that no longer was a lease, that no longer was owned by anybody other than the Eek Show.
00:31:01.119 --> 00:31:02.880
And that's where he died.
00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:04.880
That's where he was laid to rest.
00:31:05.039 --> 00:31:07.039
He actually officially isn't dead.
00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:09.759
He was put on a ventilator.
00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:30.720
Hence the initials RMV! That's the lore of the fucking actual word! RMV! Eekshow got that instituted into the state of mass! Rat motherfucker, put me on a ventilator! RMV.
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:33.519
And now the Eekshow's dead.
00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:37.920
And I want all of you to carry out my mission.
00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:40.000
To carry out my dream.
00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:42.960
Rid the world of RM and DMVs.
00:31:45.039 --> 00:31:47.920
Rid the world of registry of motor vehicles.
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:58.880
Rid the world of awkwardness and paperwork and phone calls and signatures and dates and stamps and fees and costs.
00:31:59.119 --> 00:32:01.359
Rid the world of all that shit.
00:32:03.279 --> 00:32:16.720
I want to go back to prehistoric times where cavemen just screamed at each other, hit people in a fucking head with a fucking club, and ate fucking bugs and fucking dead dinosaur meat.
00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:28.880
If I lived as a caveman, I would have fucking cooked up a pterodactyl wing! Oh, Ekso's having fucking wings! It's a pterodactyl wing.
00:32:28.960 --> 00:32:57.920
It looks like it's teriyaki, man! Cheriaki pterodactyl! I want fucking teriyaki pterodactyl wings! And I wanna be able to dip them in my fucking ramekin fucking little jar of fucking Vermont! She called me a whore syrup! Shut up! I hope everybody out in Eaksholand has a better day or morning.
00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:03.599
Not only that I'm gonna have, because I'm gonna go fucking die over the next two hours in that place.
00:33:04.640 --> 00:33:06.079
I'm looking right at it right now.
00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:06.880
I'm looking at it.
00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:14.480
I hate you! I hate you! I'm beeping at it! I hate you, RP! It's fucking real.
00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:21.039
I'm sitting here right by this fucking tower that I'm gonna climb with one arm that I already have climbed.
00:33:21.519 --> 00:33:24.880
There's barbed wire around it so you can't climb it.
00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:31.599
I'll go over there and gnaw the fucking barbed wire off with my teeth! I'm gonna go over there to die.
00:33:33.359 --> 00:33:35.839
And I'm sure something's gonna go wrong again.
00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:39.359
That's how insecure and afraid I am of that place.
00:33:40.160 --> 00:33:41.759
I don't wanna go there.
00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:44.799
I don't wanna go in there.
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:46.480
I don't wanna go.
00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:51.440
You afraid of fucking fire, spiders, fucking.
00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:54.640
I know you're afraid of bears, but are you afraid of anything else?
00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:56.240
I'm afraid of the RMV.
00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:56.799
Okay?
00:33:57.200 --> 00:33:58.640
I'm afraid of it.
00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:04.559
And I'm gonna be on a ventilator in about fucking an hour or two.
00:34:04.880 --> 00:34:07.279
So carry on the word of the Eekshow.
00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:10.639
Carry on the legend that is Eeksho.
00:34:12.079 --> 00:34:17.280
The one thing I implore you, please carry out my mission.
00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:20.559
Buy up all the gas and end.
00:34:21.840 --> 00:34:27.360
End the world's fucking existence of RMV DMV locations.
00:34:27.679 --> 00:34:28.719
End them all.
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:31.519
Okay?
00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:33.519
I want this like Fight Club.
00:34:33.679 --> 00:34:35.599
I want missions carried out.
00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:48.480
The first rule of Eekshow is to not talk about what Eekshow told you to do, which is to end the world, free the world of RMVs and DMVs.
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:51.440
That is all.
