WEBVTT
00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:02.240
Okay, now here we are.
00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:05.599
Let's take a uh look at the back scenes.
00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:07.839
The back rooms, if you will.
00:00:08.240 --> 00:00:10.160
The production studio of each show.
00:00:10.720 --> 00:00:20.559
I think he might be filming one of his candid delightful fucking squirrely songs about the apple orchid or or is it orchard episode?
00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:24.000
I think he's in the production studio right now filming.
00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:29.280
Let's catch up a quick few seconds of his mastery in the back rooms.
00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:30.480
The studio.
00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:31.839
Hey Eeksho.
00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:35.119
Eekshow, can we come in?
00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:40.399
It's too soon for you to sit still.
00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:41.520
Take a pill.
00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:44.240
You ain't any piece of it.
00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:50.079
A P P L E O R C H R D.
00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:51.520
Oh shit.
00:01:05.359 --> 00:01:07.200
It's the Eat Show.
00:01:20.159 --> 00:01:22.560
It's the eat show.
00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:26.159
Yo, eat show.
00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:28.560
You should try to eat an apple as fast as you can.
00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:29.439
Okay now.
00:01:48.640 --> 00:01:49.840
Oh, look.
00:02:03.120 --> 00:02:07.680
You've been listening for about a hundred days plus.
00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:10.560
Here and there, all over.
00:02:11.439 --> 00:02:12.639
Anywhere.
00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:18.319
Episodes and roads lead to places you just don't care.
00:02:19.759 --> 00:02:22.240
Use some nair, lose all your hair.
00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:26.000
I want you to be a bald motherfucking bitch.
00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:28.479
That doesn't make any sense.
00:02:28.639 --> 00:02:29.439
Pay your rent.
00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:32.400
I got two cents to offer up.
00:02:33.199 --> 00:02:34.639
Fucking bitch, fuck.
00:02:35.759 --> 00:02:36.400
Suck?
00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:37.280
No.
00:02:38.639 --> 00:02:40.560
What'd you do this past weekend?
00:02:41.599 --> 00:02:46.000
Did you do something with your buddies, your friends, your girlfriend, your wife?
00:02:46.240 --> 00:02:47.439
Your mistress?
00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:55.599
Your seductress! No! Did you do something with your fucking kids?
00:02:55.840 --> 00:02:56.800
Your pets?
00:02:57.599 --> 00:02:59.039
Your fucking neighbor?
00:02:59.439 --> 00:03:00.479
Total stranger?
00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:05.199
Hey man! I don't know you, but uh, you wanna go fucking apple picking?
00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:26.639
Tis the season to go to the fucking orchid! Young shot, it's not orchid, it's orchid! Like fucking choo-choo train, not cuckoo train, the fuck up, bitch! But you're right.
00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:28.719
It is the orchid, isn't it?
00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:33.840
No, it's orchard! Fuck you, bitch! It's fucking early, man.
00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:37.280
I'm just starting to have my fucking coffee.
00:03:41.439 --> 00:03:42.960
Oh, well, that's brisk.
00:03:46.479 --> 00:03:49.919
Someone snuck some fucking ocean mud in that one.
00:03:50.159 --> 00:03:51.280
Oh goodness.
00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:55.039
Fuck out of my way, leave truck!
00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:57.439
Fucking landscape trucks, man.
00:03:57.919 --> 00:04:00.240
Where's a rocket launcher when you need one?
00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:03.039
No! What are you gonna buy?
00:04:03.199 --> 00:04:05.680
You show pumpkins or a rocket launcher?
00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:13.840
I'm gonna buy a rocket launcher and fucking that fires pumpkins! No! I'd buy one of those, man.
00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:17.199
Fire fucking pumpkins on all the landscape trucks.
00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:27.600
Fuck out of my way, bitch! Fuck out of my way, bitch! Guy in the white card sitting in the fucking thrift store.
00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:29.920
Yo, man, you wait for it to open?
00:04:30.079 --> 00:04:31.920
You gonna buy some new slacks?
00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:38.160
Fucking hobo! Fucking Morgies was the fucking thrift store where I grew up.
00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:42.399
Yo, man, you going to Morgie's to get some fucking underwear?
00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:44.480
Oh shit, yeah.
00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:47.279
I don't care how poor you are, man.
00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:52.639
Don't buy underwear where someone else's fucking shit piss and ass stains, right?
00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:53.519
Might be on it.
00:04:54.560 --> 00:05:00.800
It's worth just fucking wrapping fucking paper towels around your fucking privates instead of fucking buying that.
00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:03.360
Paper towels are more expensive though.
00:05:07.199 --> 00:05:09.519
Not if you fucking petrify him.
00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:11.519
Eekshow's got a new idea, man.
00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:18.160
He's gonna like petrified wood, he's gonna make petrified fucking undergarments out of fucking old paper towels.
00:05:19.439 --> 00:05:22.000
I don't know if that business is gonna make it, man.
00:05:22.959 --> 00:05:24.240
It'll make it.
00:05:26.079 --> 00:05:27.600
Fucking the apple orchard.
00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:31.519
That's a nice fucking weekend plan when during the fall season.
00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:35.600
I'm never gonna get well.
00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:36.480
Never.
00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:38.240
You gonna get well watered?
00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:40.560
No, man, I'm talking about sickness.
00:05:41.439 --> 00:05:44.319
Well water smells like fucking sewage.
00:05:45.439 --> 00:05:49.040
Yo man, we got fucking well water flowing throughout the house.
00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:53.120
It comes out the sinks, it's fresh, and we shower in it.
00:05:53.279 --> 00:05:58.399
Yeah man, it smells like fucking old fucking sewage mud.
00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:01.439
I don't want that in my fucking soup.
00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:05.759
I don't want that on my fucking skull either, man.
00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:14.160
It's crazy when you're using water that stinks so bad that the soap fucking the soap smell isn't even strong enough.
00:06:19.199 --> 00:06:21.120
Did you go to the apple orchard?
00:06:21.360 --> 00:06:22.240
Have you been?
00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:23.680
You ever picked apples?
00:06:23.839 --> 00:06:49.759
You ever fucking brought the family, got the cider donuts, tried to catch the fucking smoke bubbles they fucking spray for 12 hours straight all over the fucking atmosphere out of the little machine by the fucking homemade fucking jam jelly and fucking pastries and frozen foods and fucking harvested farm vegetable section, a little store you go into and everything's fucking double the price.
00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:57.439
Yeah, hey mommy, can can we go can we go watch the smoke bubbles destroy the earth?
00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:01.680
Yo, you're fucking green, man! No, no.
00:07:02.160 --> 00:07:08.720
I just got a kick out of the fucking smoke bubble machine because I was there a year ago and the shut the shit's still going, man.
00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:14.959
It's fucking blowing like a 100 to 200 bubbles every fucking ten seconds.
00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:20.560
And that shit's on from nine or eight in the morning to eight or nine at night.
00:07:20.879 --> 00:07:24.160
12 hours of the fucking smoke sheen bubbles.
00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:32.639
Tell you what, fucking oh man, I got fucking uh you know they they took my home away, man.
00:07:32.720 --> 00:07:37.920
I spent all my money on that fucking bubble liquid in the smoke.
00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:39.439
Shit, man.
00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:40.639
I'm sorry.
00:07:41.680 --> 00:07:50.639
Yeah, man, I start working at the fucking Apple Orchard fucking Halloween farm and the you know that the bubble machines fucking really got me strapped.
00:07:53.759 --> 00:07:54.639
Strapped, man?
00:07:54.800 --> 00:07:55.759
Do you fucking carry it?
00:07:56.000 --> 00:07:58.800
No man, I'm talking about fucking hard up for cash.
00:07:58.959 --> 00:08:05.279
Oh man, it's a fucking asshole parked on the fucking sidewalk every day, man.
00:08:06.399 --> 00:08:07.199
That's it.
00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:10.319
He's a fucking car, like just imagine?
00:08:10.720 --> 00:08:13.439
I just commit to fucking smashing right into him.
00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:15.839
That would be unbelievable, man.
00:08:16.240 --> 00:08:18.560
Smash right into his fucking truck.
00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:19.839
No respect.
00:08:20.240 --> 00:08:22.560
Every day he fucking parks here, man.
00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:24.399
Every fucking day.
00:08:24.720 --> 00:08:26.240
It's unreal.
00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:29.360
I'm looking back at him with my fucking neck strain.
00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:30.720
I can barely see it.
00:08:31.759 --> 00:08:34.879
His fucking whole back tire is up on the sidewalk, dude.
00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:38.960
Again, it's not even just a sidewalk, it's a yellow fucking fire lane.
00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:43.200
Like, this has to be safe for kids and old people.
00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:58.639
And the motherfucker is pulled his big fat fucking rubber fat wheel in his fucking douche fucking rat fucking Ford fucking F-150 truck bitch ass up on the sidewalk.
00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:00.559
Oh Jesus Christ.
00:09:00.879 --> 00:09:03.840
Right back to the fucking rocket launcher.
00:09:06.480 --> 00:09:07.840
I'm never gonna get well.
00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:09.600
Oh, she forgot her gum.
00:09:09.759 --> 00:09:12.399
Oh my daughter forgot her gum.
00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:14.960
I'm gonna maybe have to drop it off her.
00:09:19.120 --> 00:09:20.080
Oh yum.
00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:24.080
Oh, that is fucking brisk.
00:09:29.759 --> 00:09:37.679
They tried to deny me that I'm a coffee expert, but they can't! You been to the apple orchard?
00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:50.639
You have a nice time walking through the fucking dozen or so fucking brands or fucking cultivated fucking grown styles of fucking apples.
00:09:51.919 --> 00:09:52.559
Selpa?
00:09:53.519 --> 00:09:54.559
Backwards.
00:09:55.200 --> 00:10:05.440
Did you go to fucking six flags and fucking make sure your fucking arm bar was fucking or your over-the-shoulder fucking, you know, strap-in device was tight?
00:10:06.159 --> 00:10:09.039
Fucking, I'm tight in my fucking seatbelt right now.
00:10:30.080 --> 00:10:32.399
I'll tell you what, man, R.I.P.
00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:37.440
and no disrespect to the family or this person, but what'd you do?
00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:38.799
What'd you do this weekend?
00:10:38.879 --> 00:10:40.559
Did you go to the apple orchard?
00:10:40.799 --> 00:10:46.559
Spend fucking too much money to pick fucking apples that just are gonna fucking sit around and rot?
00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:50.639
Or did you go to Six Flags and ride Goliath?
00:10:51.279 --> 00:10:58.960
And when the fucking little free photo fucking flash goes off, he can buy those fucking photos for like 50 bucks.
00:10:59.039 --> 00:11:04.559
Yeah, you see me fucking scared to death when it, you know, I went down that hill right near the loop.
00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:06.080
Yeah, man, I did.
00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:13.200
I fucking paid 50 bucks for that photo and I'm fucking screaming and the seat next to me, the guy's fucking falling out.
00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:22.879
A guy fell out of the fucking roller coaster at the moment or within the moment of the photo capture.
00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:38.240
And whoever fucking either works at the place or was in the seat near him, paid for or posted the fucking roller coaster flash fucking photo of the guy falling out of the car.
00:11:38.399 --> 00:11:45.120
It's got the four things, you know, like, oh look at that's why I'm just about to hit the fucking upside down loop.
00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:54.240
Everybody's their hands are in the air, and then the first photo, the guy's like upside down out of his seat already, out of the fucking thing.
00:11:54.480 --> 00:12:05.440
People are looking up at him, like, oh, you know, it's like it looks like from Jaws when the the shark's just attacking the fucking boat, or you're in the raft, you're in like one of those inflatable rafts.
00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:09.840
I'll tell you what, man.
00:12:10.320 --> 00:12:15.840
If you want a fucking good time, get sick! Fuck.
00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:19.279
I've got bronchitis.
00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:21.200
I'm sick, I'm sick.
00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:25.600
I want to stick a stick into my eyeball.
00:12:25.840 --> 00:12:26.720
I'm sick.
00:12:26.960 --> 00:12:29.600
I've got bronchitis.
00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:33.039
What did you do the last days of your fucking life, Eeksho?
00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:36.320
This is the Eek Show, by the way.
00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:53.440
If you hadn't figured it out, because you're already fucking belly laughing into your own goddamn fucking oxygen! Tell you what, I wish I had that pumpkin rocket launcher.
00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:56.000
I would fire it at this F-150.
00:12:56.480 --> 00:12:59.120
Oh, a couple's going for a walk in the morning.
00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:03.600
Hey honey, you wanna go over to the fucking outdoor fucking Y?
00:13:04.399 --> 00:13:06.639
Track and walk in a circle?
00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:10.879
Now wear my fucking my new golf shirt.
00:13:11.600 --> 00:13:21.279
I'd fire a pumpkin right at him! Kidding, man, I don't wanna hurt anybody, but I do want to fucking completely wreck that fucking F-150.
00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:26.480
I know you've heard this same spiel, but I love every second of it.
00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:41.360
How much fun and fucking laughter does fucking a giant fucking rocket launcher fucking firing pumpkins at an F-150 misparked for the 50th time in a row on a fucking goddamn fire lane?
00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:43.919
How much joy does that bring you?
00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:45.600
It brings me joy.
00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:47.600
Yeah, it's a lot of joy.
00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:49.600
Fell out of the roller coaster.
00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:52.080
This one guy who was fucking right in the photo.
00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:57.200
So the first photo, he's like upside down, pants are half fallen down, you can see his ass.
00:13:57.360 --> 00:14:01.679
Unfortunately, again, no disrespect to the family or the person.
00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:06.159
This is just observational fucking humor, I guess.
00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:08.960
Maybe it's just observational reporting.
00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:18.799
He's upside down, falling out of the roller coaster within the vicinity of the fucking, you gotta pay for the fucking roller coaster photo fucking shot.
00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:24.240
You know, like looking right, look at the hell we're all fucking looking right at the camera, like we're not scared.
00:14:24.399 --> 00:14:25.519
Not in this photo.
00:14:25.679 --> 00:14:28.080
There's a fucking person like two seats away from.
00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:36.559
I'm telling you, they're literally screaming like one of the fucking lifeboats and Jaws, maybe Jaws 2, one of those mini fish sailboats.
00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:40.559
The girl's fucking screaming, crying, and it's this, I think it's a guy or a girl.
00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:45.919
Just there's horror in their face looking at the guy upside down, like out of the seat.
00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:49.679
Of course, you don't know where he falls to, but he's fucking gonna fall.
00:14:49.840 --> 00:14:52.080
Unfortunately, that I mean that's fucking horrible.
00:14:52.159 --> 00:14:53.600
I mean, why would you?
00:14:53.919 --> 00:15:00.639
I was just saying to my daughter, you can play the lottery, it's a fucking uh really low odds, right?
00:15:00.879 --> 00:15:03.039
Falling out of a roller coaster, right?
00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:07.279
That's low odds, but it's expensive, right?
00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:11.360
And not as many people do things that are higher costs.
00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:13.440
They do things that are lower costs, right?
00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:15.600
There's more poor people than there are rich people.
00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:17.200
The 1%, right?
00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:25.600
The 1% are the fucking gazillionaires or even multimillionaires and higher, and then everybody else is fucking shit.
00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:27.440
Or the other 99%.
00:15:29.279 --> 00:15:38.399
Less than 1%, it's like a fucking fraction of a percent to whatever point it is that you win the lottery if you play, no matter how many tickets you buy.
00:15:38.639 --> 00:15:43.120
My neck feels like it's got a fucking fork stuck right in it.
00:15:48.879 --> 00:15:53.360
If anybody can recommend a fucking good pillow to buy, I want it.
00:15:53.519 --> 00:15:55.039
A fucking wallop.
00:15:55.840 --> 00:15:56.559
Wallop?
00:15:56.960 --> 00:15:59.600
Fucking pillow backwards, you fucking stupid bitch.
00:16:00.320 --> 00:16:01.759
People went to the Apple larger.
00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:06.399
This fucking person went to the fucking Six Flags Park.
00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:07.679
Goliath.
00:16:08.639 --> 00:16:12.799
And right as the fucking four fucking photo shot.
00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:18.799
By the fourth photo, is the person's no longer in sight in the photo.
00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:30.960
The first one to the fourth, it's like when you flip through those pages of funnies, you draw the photo on the fucking paper and you move it a little bit each time, so you just flip through the paper, it's like and it moves along.
00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:32.879
It's stop, stop action, right?
00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:34.879
Stop and start motion.
00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:38.000
That's what the photo is.
00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:46.639
This guy fucking fell out of a fucking national southern six flags roller coaster.
00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:48.399
Goliath.
00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:51.039
My fucking tip of the day?
00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:54.879
I'm gonna give you the one thing now, well before the end of episode.
00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:56.320
The one thing?
00:16:56.879 --> 00:16:58.879
I don't know if I'd go on Goliath.
00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:03.840
Can you duct tape me into the fucking seat?
00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:09.119
Tell you what, man, I don't give a shit what those fucking metal controls or bars or seatbelts are.
00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:12.400
Duct tape wouldn't have fucking let the guy fall out.
00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:18.799
Wrap yourself in duct tape and try to get out.
00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:20.640
Without scissors.
00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:24.400
And I mean fucking industrial fucking sharpened scissors.
00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:26.559
Try to get out of it by yourself.
00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:32.160
Ik show you ever wrap yourself with duct tape?
00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:33.119
I mentioned this.
00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:35.759
Me and all my buddies did for Halloween.
00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:37.279
We're duct tape, man.
00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:47.440
And the motherfucking girls that we were with, three blind mice, they lost the fucking camera, man.
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:51.519
Epic costume in the history of fucking costumes.
00:17:51.759 --> 00:17:59.039
The fucking hot blind mice we went out with, we hung out with, lost the fucking camera.
00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:13.599
If someone out there has that camera, okay, in Ikshow land, I want you to develop the pictures, and I want him sent to Buckingham Palace, because that's where I live.
00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:23.920
Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you King Ikshow! And no, I'm not British, and no, I don't live there.
00:18:24.559 --> 00:18:26.799
Ikshow lives in a castle.
00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:28.079
Similar.
00:18:28.960 --> 00:18:30.400
Just not as nice.
00:18:32.559 --> 00:18:34.559
Did you go to fucking Six Flags?
00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:36.000
No, I didn't, man.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:39.200
I went to fucking Apple Orchard just as bad if I wanna.
00:18:39.519 --> 00:18:40.880
Just as difficult.
00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:42.960
If you wanna really talk.
00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:45.119
Real talk, yo, real talk, man.
00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:46.160
Real talk.
00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:47.839
Yo, real talk.
00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:50.160
Yo, word, real talk.
00:18:50.480 --> 00:18:51.680
Yeah, real talk, man.
00:18:51.839 --> 00:18:53.680
I listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth.
00:18:53.759 --> 00:18:54.400
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:54.559 --> 00:18:56.000
The word coming out of my mouth.
00:18:56.160 --> 00:18:56.799
Real talk.
00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:57.440
I got it.
00:18:57.519 --> 00:18:58.559
It's not fake talk.
00:18:58.640 --> 00:18:59.680
I'm listening to you.
00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:01.759
You're alive and I'm in front of you.
00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:03.200
You're in a microphone.
00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:04.799
I'm doing an interview.
00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:06.000
It's real talk.
00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:06.480
I get it.
00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:08.480
You can don't you don't even have to say talk.
00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:10.079
You are talking.
00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:11.440
Really?
00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:16.960
So straight away when you get to the fucking apple orchard, okay?
00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:21.519
It's fucking thousands of ants scurrying around.
00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:24.400
Parking on a dirt fucking road.
00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:26.559
Every wheel had wheels on it.
00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:31.920
That dirt's been waiting since the summer to just billow up.
00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:39.920
Your lungs got fucking smoke bubbles and fucking road dust for however long you're there.
00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:41.920
Yo man, how'd you get emphysema?
00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:46.480
You smoking fucking merits or fucking Newports?
00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:51.200
No man, I went to the fucking Apple orchard, man.
00:19:52.799 --> 00:19:58.640
I got fucking smoke bubble and fucking road dust poisoning in my lungs.
00:19:59.279 --> 00:20:07.119
I can I can't explore! Just have your coffee, man.
00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:08.559
Shut the fuck up.
00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:12.799
Ooh, mmm.
00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:15.359
Every fucking sip is better than the last.
00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:23.440
Every sip! No wonder you fucking came out with eek sip! Every one of them is fucking legendary!
00:20:24.319 --> 00:20:26.079
You might like onion dip.
00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:28.160
You might even like to take a trip.
00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:32.400
But there ain't nothing in the whole wide world like an Eek sip.
00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:34.240
The fucking apple orchard.
00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:35.519
Is it Orchard?
00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:42.319
No, it's fucking Orchard! How ironic that the Orchid was the name of the fucking shark boat and Jaws!
00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:43.759
It isn't, it's Orca!
00:20:44.480 --> 00:21:28.720
That guy fucking started drifting down the front of the floor or the back of the boat when the shark fucking swash jaws backwards was fucking eating the boat, he ate him! It's Orca! He needed a fucking roller coaster fucking duck tape bell, too! Right when you get up to the fucking apple orchard, it's already fucking hectic! You're not even out of the car yet! All kinds of people go there, dates, families, kids, couples, guys, girls, school classes, gatherings, old folk homes, grandparents, solo apple pickers! I saw a couple of those, man.
00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:37.359
It's like almost fucking$36 to$40 to get one of the medium bags.
00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:46.960
You could probably fit 20 20 apples in there, maybe 22, 24, maybe under 20, depending on the how fat you pick them.
00:21:47.200 --> 00:21:48.960
All kinds of fucking brands.
00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:56.319
But the first one, okay, fucking lines and rows of fucking trees, are the Macintosh apples.
00:21:56.400 --> 00:21:58.720
They call them Macs at the fucking orchard.
00:21:59.039 --> 00:22:00.480
Is that a Sign?
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:05.920
Okay, is that an iron uh is that an ironic warn me to not fucking go here?
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:07.359
Too expensive sign?
00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:10.000
What's max backward?
00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:13.599
What's max backwards?
00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:16.640
M-A-C-S! It's fucking scam!
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:19.599
This is a scam alert.
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:22.240
Repeat, you're getting ripped off.
00:22:23.039 --> 00:22:25.759
This is a scam alert.
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:30.640
You go to the fucking grocery store, apples probably, I don't know, what are they?
00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:32.640
50 cents a buck apiece?
00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:37.039
But you get to fucking you're only getting big ones and the little ones there.
00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:42.319
None of them are a fucking hanging off branches you can't get to because you're not allowed to climb the trees.
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:45.759
Each show can climb like a fucking gorilla.
00:22:49.839 --> 00:22:55.680
$36 for 22 apples, maybe less, depending on how fat you pick.
00:22:56.480 --> 00:22:58.400
That's almost two bucks an apple.
00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:04.559
Okay, you didn't know Galileo was given the fucking podcast this morning, did you?
00:23:05.440 --> 00:23:10.960
I can also tell you it would only take me like five shots to fucking wreck that F-150.
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:17.440
Hold on, needs top shots.
00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:20.400
Take the fucker down.
00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:30.319
Scam! Right in your face! Every fucking type of apple's got fucking droves of people in it.
00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:32.880
They got apples all over the ground.
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:39.519
Of course, I started fucking juggling some of the fucking half-eaten ones that people didn't throw in the spittoons.
00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:45.039
I was fucking draining following threes every other second.
00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:51.920
Oh, Ekshaw's dropping fucking curry bombs in the fucking golden delicious spittoon.
00:23:52.160 --> 00:24:16.799
You did it, Ekshaw! You did it! People were fucking screaming! Ikshow! Shoot a fucking shoot a fucking pink lady, man! I'm not gonna kill any fucking ladies dressed in pink, but sure! I'll drop a fucking half-court fucking spittoon! Pink lady apple shot! All net, no room.
00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:19.680
Walk off fucking three.
00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:23.359
They should have given me fucking four for that shot.
00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:25.440
Oh, tell me it's the truck.
00:24:25.599 --> 00:24:27.119
It is him, dude.
00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:28.640
Do you hear him?
00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:30.160
This is him.
00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:32.079
This is the guy.
00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:33.680
Here he is, man.
00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:37.759
What a fucking douche rocket.
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:41.119
Hey, 6CGB 47.
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:53.920
I can see oh, he didn't stop at the stop sign! Of course! I'll tell you, man, I wish I had a fucking magic fireball that I could fire at that guy with karma.
00:24:57.759 --> 00:25:03.359
I'm real! You can't fucking buy that anywhere else but the Eek Show.
00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:15.119
Jesus! You can hear his truck! Didn't stop at the stop sign, blasted right through it! That's the guy that doesn't fucking swerve or break for squirrels.
00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:16.960
Just runs them right over, man.
00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:18.640
Every one of them.
00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:26.960
Oh I'd love to fucking make homemade apple fucking cannonballs and fire them at them.
00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:41.920
Every line of that fucking there's Cortland apples, there's Empire apples, there's fucking Honey Crisp, Crimson Crisp, Ludacrisp! That's not even a joke.
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:46.720
Somebody actually wrote Ludacrisp on one of the fucking apple lines.
00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:49.359
And if that is a real apple, hmm.
00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:50.799
I thought it was a joke.
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:51.599
I did.
00:25:52.880 --> 00:26:02.799
Move, bitch! Get out the way! Get out the way, bitch! Get out the way! That's what I said in the fucking ludicrisp fucking apple line.
00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:04.319
Some bitch in front of me.
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:16.160
I'm trying to get to this perfect apple! Ludacrisp apple! Move, bitch! Get out the way! Get out the way, bitch! I gotta get an apple today! Move, bitch!
00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:17.039
Yo, Luda!
00:26:17.440 --> 00:26:23.200
Fucking ludicrisp! Yo Luda! No red delicious, which I fucking hate.
00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:26.559
What's your favorite apple?
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:32.160
How long can you spend picking apples when the medium bag costs fucking$36?
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:43.039
What if you go with like a fucking family of eight or nine people and you know the cans all want to hold a bag, so you might end up getting two or three bags.
00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:48.480
In fact, they tell you if you're more than three people, you've got to get a second bag.
00:26:48.799 --> 00:27:04.720
You gotta! And the prices just keep going up! Just like that fucking Goliath's roller coaster bar, it went up! Kai fucking fell out right at the photo shot.
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:10.000
It's an awful thing, but as a family, do you want that photo?
00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:12.240
It's the last photo of your fucking family.
00:27:12.400 --> 00:27:19.279
If each show fell out of a roller coaster, I want you to frame the picture and put it on your goddamn fucking mantle.
00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:31.680
I want it above the fireplace every time you're watching fucking the old fucking police show chips.
00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:52.640
How'd you learn how to play instruments with your fucking teeth and your your lips?
00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:59.759
Could have sworn that was a drum, trumpet, and a fucking trombone all in one fucking beat.
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:03.519
How'd you get the fuck out of my face, man?
00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:11.440
Oh I literally hope that F-150 flips on its side, man.
00:28:11.599 --> 00:28:13.599
Again, I don't want the guy to get hurt.
00:28:13.759 --> 00:28:16.079
I want him to get fucking bruised up.
00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:17.039
A little bit.
00:28:17.119 --> 00:28:17.759
I do that.
00:28:17.839 --> 00:28:18.880
I do want that.
00:28:19.359 --> 00:28:22.559
But I want his truck to be totaled.
00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:52.720
Keep your fucking wheels in the spot and stay out of the fucking yellow line, bitch ass! This is free fucking shit! This is fucking amazing.
00:28:53.039 --> 00:29:02.240
I'm telling you, my idea, this idea, is fucking magic! Don't you see David Copperfield in Vegas?
00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:04.000
I haven't.
00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:07.039
But I listen to the Eek Show every week.
00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:15.440
And I'll tell you what, Eek Deeny is fucking a legendary fucking act! Eek Deeny, cat?
00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:16.720
Eek Deeny.
00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:19.759
Fucking Apple Orchard, man.
00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:26.319
To wait in the fucking roller coaster line for four hours to get your cider donuts.
00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:28.240
Eek Deeny.
00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:30.160
That's another scam, right?
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:39.920
Cider donuts are made and exist the whole year! But for that fucking six suites of the apple orchid, the fucking Jaws boat!
00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:41.039
It's orca!
00:29:41.680 --> 00:29:43.759
15 bucks for a bag of six.
00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:44.400
It's orca.
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:49.680
Oh, and they're tiny little fucking donuts right out of the fryator, drenched in grease.
00:29:49.920 --> 00:29:53.279
But they do fucking dip them in that cinnamon fucking sugar.
00:29:53.519 --> 00:29:59.119
Now tell you what, even though I get fucking the shits for a week, I'm gonna have fucking three of them.
00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:05.440
And you gotta get the fresh ones, right?
00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:06.799
Right out of the oil.
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:10.799
Of course you don't get the fresh ones when you wait in the four-hour line.
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:15.359
They gotta keep up with the fucking conveyor belt of people, kids.
00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:16.000
Thank you.
00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:17.279
Okay, here's your bag.
00:30:17.440 --> 00:30:17.759
Move on.
00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:18.240
Thank you.
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:18.559
Okay.
00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:19.839
Ah, happy Halloween.
00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:21.119
Ah, yeah, picking our.
00:30:21.519 --> 00:30:22.880
Oh, what a nice little cute girl.
00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:25.039
Ah, oh, did you get a fucking pumpkin?
00:30:25.119 --> 00:30:26.079
Here's your apples.
00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:28.480
You're getting fucking some stale ones.
00:30:28.640 --> 00:30:34.079
Okay, it's the Borise's peanut butter cup fucking quandary all over again.
00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:39.519
Maybe it's not 50% of them are stale, but 25% of them are.
00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:44.160
You can buy those fucking cider donuts the whole year.
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:45.759
Anytime you want.
00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:46.880
It's fucking.
00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:52.880
It's fucking 5,000 pumpkins, all colors, all size.
00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:54.319
Squash.
00:30:54.559 --> 00:30:58.880
I got a squash, and it sucked! It wasn't fresh.
00:30:59.119 --> 00:31:03.359
It wasn't sort of a really fresh, good, organic style squash.
00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:04.559
It doesn't have to be organic.
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.359
I'm not a fucking bourgeoisie bitch ass.
00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:11.039
But it's you can tell a good squash by the consistency of it.
00:31:11.200 --> 00:31:14.880
If you cook, if you like to to eat, you have good cuisine.
00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:17.759
Bro, look at this fucking douche rocket.
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:21.359
Nice fucking Jesus Walker's fucking bitch.
00:31:22.160 --> 00:31:25.039
He's walking over to a fucking minivan bus.
00:31:26.799 --> 00:31:28.559
I'd love to fucking just.
00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:32.240
I'd love to fucking write asshole in the side of that.
00:31:32.400 --> 00:31:34.480
It's a fucking Ford minibus.
00:31:39.119 --> 00:31:41.440
Up fucking douche fucking bitch.
00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:42.720
Jesus Christ.
00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:44.480
I can't even think of a better insult.
00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:46.000
I know I say it all the time.
00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:47.839
It's too perfect.
00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:52.079
I can't believe the fucking Ford F-150 ran the stop sign.
00:31:52.160 --> 00:31:55.119
He was going like 30 out of the parking lot.
00:31:55.759 --> 00:32:00.559
You know, that's that's safe in the fucking Y where there's fucking droves of old people and kids.
00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:03.359
Yo, how did you die, man?
00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:05.599
Did you die on that fucking Goliath ride?
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:07.599
No, man, I fucking died at the Y.
00:32:08.480 --> 00:32:15.119
Fucking asshole, I can't park on the fucking inside the fucking lines in the easy spot over on the back lot.
00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:20.559
Drove him over my fucking head with his car when he ran the stop sign.
00:32:23.599 --> 00:32:28.799
Each show will take care of him with his fucking rocket launcher pumpkin fucking blast gun.
00:32:29.119 --> 00:32:30.400
Jesus Christ.
00:32:35.599 --> 00:32:37.279
The Apple Orchard.
00:32:37.440 --> 00:32:39.440
It's an annual tradition.
00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:42.559
You gotta go pick apples and go bankrupt.
00:32:43.200 --> 00:32:44.000
What'd you get?
00:32:44.160 --> 00:32:45.119
Fucking scam?
00:32:45.279 --> 00:32:45.759
I did.
00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:47.039
Macintosh.
00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:48.000
Max.
00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:50.960
You're buying fucking laptops?
00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:51.359
Nope.
00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:53.039
I'm buying fucking apples.
00:32:53.279 --> 00:32:54.640
Just as expensive.
00:32:55.279 --> 00:32:59.519
And they don't fucking have keyboard, it doesn't open up, there's no light.
00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:04.960
It's just a fucking apple with a core that sits on my counter and rots away.
00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:15.599
An apple a day fucking will make you want to fucking lose your fucking hey, bitch! Eek teeny bitch.
00:33:16.559 --> 00:33:20.799
I bet you the Goliath guy wishes he went to the fucking apple orchid.
00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:22.319
Again, R.I.P.
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:24.079
No disrespect to him.
00:33:24.319 --> 00:33:27.440
But that is fucking actual news that happened.
00:33:27.519 --> 00:33:29.519
I think it happened in Georgia.
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:41.440
Georgia! Georgia! I wish you went to the apple orchard with May and my family.
00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:50.240
Georgia! Those motherfuckers at six flags didn't keep your goddamn fucking seatball locked.
00:33:51.039 --> 00:33:53.599
And I hope you rest in peace.
00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:55.920
Up in Halon.
00:33:56.799 --> 00:33:58.319
Hey do, man, I really do.
00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:00.319
That's not even a joke.
00:34:01.759 --> 00:34:08.000
But man, the world is a fucking crazy dark fucked up place.
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:10.639
You can't die doing anything.
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:12.559
I could die here with my neck pain.
00:34:12.719 --> 00:34:14.000
Filming the Eek Show.
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:17.840
Now that's fucking an epic fucking way to go.
00:34:18.159 --> 00:34:20.320
Eek Show fucking 26.
00:34:21.679 --> 00:34:22.960
Eek peeny.
00:34:24.400 --> 00:34:26.639
Was Wade Boggs 26?
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:30.480
The Wade Boggs 352 bar?
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:34.719
Shit had fucking gallons of caramel in it.
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:40.800
I used to fucking just rock those every time after baseball practice at the 7-Eleven.
00:34:41.039 --> 00:34:47.119
A fucking suicide fucking Coke predominant, but suicide still slurpee.
00:34:47.280 --> 00:34:50.239
Suicide's when you put all the flavors they have and mix them together.
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:52.400
You still taste the Coke, right?
00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:54.880
Coke dominates all flavors.
00:34:55.199 --> 00:35:00.800
I get a weed box 352 bar and a fucking suicide slurpee.
00:35:01.360 --> 00:35:03.119
Just bounce home.
00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:05.280
Apple orchard.
00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:07.039
Such a tradition.
00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:10.800
I can't say that I hate it.
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:13.280
But I'm not sure I love it.
00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:16.000
I do like apples.
00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:17.760
I don't eat a lot of apples.
00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:20.880
I'm not a big fucking fruit apple guy.
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:22.159
That's not my choice.
00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:23.840
I like golden delicious.
00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:26.559
I like honey crisp.
00:35:27.119 --> 00:35:29.599
I hate fucking red delicious.
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:31.920
It's an interesting spot.
00:35:35.360 --> 00:35:39.280
You ever had a fucking raw grapefruit?
00:35:41.760 --> 00:35:43.519
You go to the apple orchard, man?
00:35:43.599 --> 00:35:44.400
Nah man.
00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:46.400
We're gonna go pick grapefruits.
00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:48.719
Ik show's starting a business.
00:35:49.119 --> 00:35:52.400
He's fucking harvesting fucking grapefruits.
00:35:52.719 --> 00:35:57.679
People fucking seasonally fucking come to Aruba where he fucking opens shop.
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:01.039
Just fucking pick raw grapefruits.
00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:02.960
I fucking hate it.
00:36:03.440 --> 00:36:04.719
I hate grapefruit, man.
00:36:04.880 --> 00:36:07.039
It's like an old person juice.
00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:09.360
It's fucking good for you, man.
00:36:09.519 --> 00:36:11.760
It's fucking bitter, it's all fuck.
00:36:12.239 --> 00:36:17.920
Each show put a billion into the business and sounds like he's lost another billion.
00:36:18.639 --> 00:36:19.840
Nobody's been.
00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:24.800
I'm gonna go pick grapefruits.
00:36:25.599 --> 00:36:26.880
The dream come true, man.
00:36:26.960 --> 00:36:27.679
Nobody there.
00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:30.639
Just fucking walking through up and down.
00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:39.119
Big fucking open land near the ocean that extends out into beach sand, fucking thousands of grapefruits.
00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:46.000
Instead of bags, I give out fucking or plastic fucking bags, I give out fucking army duffel bags.
00:36:46.800 --> 00:36:49.440
You buy an army duffel bag for fucking.
00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:51.440
Maybe we'll charge you$25.
00:36:52.639 --> 00:37:04.960
Still less than the fucking medium bag! Fucking East Bridgewater! How many fucking grapefruits can you fit in a fucking army duffel bag?
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:09.119
I bet you you can fit fucking 40 of them in there.
00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:15.039
I'll carry it with fucking one arm over my head all the way back to the car.
00:37:16.239 --> 00:37:18.000
No fucking sand coming up.
00:37:18.239 --> 00:37:19.840
My lungs are clean.
00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:24.000
I spent fucking a third less money.
00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:27.039
Not gonna have any fucking roller coasters there.
00:37:27.440 --> 00:37:34.400
And if I did, I'd have duct tape fucking straps! You're not falling out of duct tape, man.
00:37:34.480 --> 00:37:35.760
I'm telling you, that's not a joke.
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:49.760
You're not falling out! As long as the fucking photo area doesn't have a large fucking extendable, movable fucking giant pair of scissors that snips the fucking duct tape as you go by, you're not falling out.
00:37:53.280 --> 00:37:56.960
You might die because you can't breathe, because you're so squeezed into that shit.
00:37:57.199 --> 00:37:59.519
Ikkshow fucking died in the duct tape, man.
00:37:59.599 --> 00:38:02.320
I saw him in his coffin and couldn't get it off.
00:38:02.559 --> 00:38:05.760
His fucking carcass was in the fucking coffin.
00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:09.280
The coffin the coffin was fucking gold, by the way.
00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:14.559
He wanted an open casket.
00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:19.840
It said fucking duct tape, man, on the side of it.
00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:21.840
Eekshow legend.
00:38:23.840 --> 00:38:24.639
I miss him, man.
00:38:24.719 --> 00:38:25.679
I fucking miss him.
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:28.000
Oh god, I fucking miss him.
00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:31.280
Info at eekshow.show.
00:38:31.920 --> 00:38:33.840
Tell me if you fucking go to the orchard.
00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:46.159
The orchard! Tell me if you've ever fucking watched Jaws! If you've been on a roller coaster that goes upside down and fucking taken that photo and spent money on it.
00:38:47.199 --> 00:38:48.719
I gotta be honest.
00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:53.280
Choice B to go to the apple orchard might have been a better play.
00:38:53.920 --> 00:38:58.559
Do you want to go and get scammed at the orchard or you wanna fall out of a roller coaster?
00:38:58.719 --> 00:39:02.320
Uh scales of justice! Scales of fucking justice!
00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:06.719
Man! Scales of justice, man! Is this fucking scales and justice?
00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:12.800
You can't it's blind separately! Salescamer! Scales of fucking justice, eh?
00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:19.599
Scales and justice! My fucking dad talking about his fucking zodiac sign.
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:23.920
Scales of fucking justice, man! Is he getting scales of justice?
00:39:24.079 --> 00:39:30.639
And fucking Libra! Hey! I'm a fucking Libra! You know, I'm a fucking Libra.
00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:35.599
And a fucking and a fucking dead slut! I'm a fucking Libra.
00:39:35.679 --> 00:39:36.639
Now shut up!
00:39:37.440 --> 00:39:39.119
Jesus fucking Christ, man.
00:39:40.639 --> 00:39:42.639
It's another fucking real thing, man.
00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:49.360
These episodes just drum up fucking memories of fucking little tiny balls of fucking fun.
00:39:52.239 --> 00:40:00.320
Goliath Apple Orchard! Scam! Flow out! I gotta go with fucking option B.
00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:04.719
You know the one thing, we already talked about it.
00:40:04.880 --> 00:40:06.400
This is the Eek Show.
00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:10.400
Have an excellent fall, y'all! Bitch!
00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:15.199
Look for an Eek Show bonus this coming weekend.
00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:02.240
Okay, now here we are.
00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:05.599
Let's take a uh look at the back scenes.
00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:07.839
The back rooms, if you will.
00:00:08.240 --> 00:00:10.160
The production studio of each show.
00:00:10.720 --> 00:00:20.559
I think he might be filming one of his candid delightful fucking squirrely songs about the apple orchid or or is it orchard episode?
00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:24.000
I think he's in the production studio right now filming.
00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:29.280
Let's catch up a quick few seconds of his mastery in the back rooms.
00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:30.480
The studio.
00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:31.839
Hey Eeksho.
00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:35.119
Eekshow, can we come in?
00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:40.399
It's too soon for you to sit still.
00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:41.520
Take a pill.
00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:44.240
You ain't any piece of it.
00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:50.079
A P P L E O R C H R D.
00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:51.520
Oh shit.
00:01:05.359 --> 00:01:07.200
It's the Eat Show.
00:01:20.159 --> 00:01:22.560
It's the eat show.
00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:26.159
Yo, eat show.
00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:28.560
You should try to eat an apple as fast as you can.
00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:29.439
Okay now.
00:01:48.640 --> 00:01:49.840
Oh, look.
00:02:03.120 --> 00:02:07.680
You've been listening for about a hundred days plus.
00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:10.560
Here and there, all over.
00:02:11.439 --> 00:02:12.639
Anywhere.
00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:18.319
Episodes and roads lead to places you just don't care.
00:02:19.759 --> 00:02:22.240
Use some nair, lose all your hair.
00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:26.000
I want you to be a bald motherfucking bitch.
00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:28.479
That doesn't make any sense.
00:02:28.639 --> 00:02:29.439
Pay your rent.
00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:32.400
I got two cents to offer up.
00:02:33.199 --> 00:02:34.639
Fucking bitch, fuck.
00:02:35.759 --> 00:02:36.400
Suck?
00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:37.280
No.
00:02:38.639 --> 00:02:40.560
What'd you do this past weekend?
00:02:41.599 --> 00:02:46.000
Did you do something with your buddies, your friends, your girlfriend, your wife?
00:02:46.240 --> 00:02:47.439
Your mistress?
00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:55.599
Your seductress! No! Did you do something with your fucking kids?
00:02:55.840 --> 00:02:56.800
Your pets?
00:02:57.599 --> 00:02:59.039
Your fucking neighbor?
00:02:59.439 --> 00:03:00.479
Total stranger?
00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:05.199
Hey man! I don't know you, but uh, you wanna go fucking apple picking?
00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:26.639
Tis the season to go to the fucking orchid! Young shot, it's not orchid, it's orchid! Like fucking choo-choo train, not cuckoo train, the fuck up, bitch! But you're right.
00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:28.719
It is the orchid, isn't it?
00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:33.840
No, it's orchard! Fuck you, bitch! It's fucking early, man.
00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:37.280
I'm just starting to have my fucking coffee.
00:03:41.439 --> 00:03:42.960
Oh, well, that's brisk.
00:03:46.479 --> 00:03:49.919
Someone snuck some fucking ocean mud in that one.
00:03:50.159 --> 00:03:51.280
Oh goodness.
00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:55.039
Fuck out of my way, leave truck!
00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:57.439
Fucking landscape trucks, man.
00:03:57.919 --> 00:04:00.240
Where's a rocket launcher when you need one?
00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:03.039
No! What are you gonna buy?
00:04:03.199 --> 00:04:05.680
You show pumpkins or a rocket launcher?
00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:13.840
I'm gonna buy a rocket launcher and fucking that fires pumpkins! No! I'd buy one of those, man.
00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:17.199
Fire fucking pumpkins on all the landscape trucks.
00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:27.600
Fuck out of my way, bitch! Fuck out of my way, bitch! Guy in the white card sitting in the fucking thrift store.
00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:29.920
Yo, man, you wait for it to open?
00:04:30.079 --> 00:04:31.920
You gonna buy some new slacks?
00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:38.160
Fucking hobo! Fucking Morgies was the fucking thrift store where I grew up.
00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:42.399
Yo, man, you going to Morgie's to get some fucking underwear?
00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:44.480
Oh shit, yeah.
00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:47.279
I don't care how poor you are, man.
00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:52.639
Don't buy underwear where someone else's fucking shit piss and ass stains, right?
00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:53.519
Might be on it.
00:04:54.560 --> 00:05:00.800
It's worth just fucking wrapping fucking paper towels around your fucking privates instead of fucking buying that.
00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:03.360
Paper towels are more expensive though.
00:05:07.199 --> 00:05:09.519
Not if you fucking petrify him.
00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:11.519
Eekshow's got a new idea, man.
00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:18.160
He's gonna like petrified wood, he's gonna make petrified fucking undergarments out of fucking old paper towels.
00:05:19.439 --> 00:05:22.000
I don't know if that business is gonna make it, man.
00:05:22.959 --> 00:05:24.240
It'll make it.
00:05:26.079 --> 00:05:27.600
Fucking the apple orchard.
00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:31.519
That's a nice fucking weekend plan when during the fall season.
00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:35.600
I'm never gonna get well.
00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:36.480
Never.
00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:38.240
You gonna get well watered?
00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:40.560
No, man, I'm talking about sickness.
00:05:41.439 --> 00:05:44.319
Well water smells like fucking sewage.
00:05:45.439 --> 00:05:49.040
Yo man, we got fucking well water flowing throughout the house.
00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:53.120
It comes out the sinks, it's fresh, and we shower in it.
00:05:53.279 --> 00:05:58.399
Yeah man, it smells like fucking old fucking sewage mud.
00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:01.439
I don't want that in my fucking soup.
00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:05.759
I don't want that on my fucking skull either, man.
00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:14.160
It's crazy when you're using water that stinks so bad that the soap fucking the soap smell isn't even strong enough.
00:06:19.199 --> 00:06:21.120
Did you go to the apple orchard?
00:06:21.360 --> 00:06:22.240
Have you been?
00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:23.680
You ever picked apples?
00:06:23.839 --> 00:06:49.759
You ever fucking brought the family, got the cider donuts, tried to catch the fucking smoke bubbles they fucking spray for 12 hours straight all over the fucking atmosphere out of the little machine by the fucking homemade fucking jam jelly and fucking pastries and frozen foods and fucking harvested farm vegetable section, a little store you go into and everything's fucking double the price.
00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:57.439
Yeah, hey mommy, can can we go can we go watch the smoke bubbles destroy the earth?
00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:01.680
Yo, you're fucking green, man! No, no.
00:07:02.160 --> 00:07:08.720
I just got a kick out of the fucking smoke bubble machine because I was there a year ago and the shut the shit's still going, man.
00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:14.959
It's fucking blowing like a 100 to 200 bubbles every fucking ten seconds.
00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:20.560
And that shit's on from nine or eight in the morning to eight or nine at night.
00:07:20.879 --> 00:07:24.160
12 hours of the fucking smoke sheen bubbles.
00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:32.639
Tell you what, fucking oh man, I got fucking uh you know they they took my home away, man.
00:07:32.720 --> 00:07:37.920
I spent all my money on that fucking bubble liquid in the smoke.
00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:39.439
Shit, man.
00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:40.639
I'm sorry.
00:07:41.680 --> 00:07:50.639
Yeah, man, I start working at the fucking Apple Orchard fucking Halloween farm and the you know that the bubble machines fucking really got me strapped.
00:07:53.759 --> 00:07:54.639
Strapped, man?
00:07:54.800 --> 00:07:55.759
Do you fucking carry it?
00:07:56.000 --> 00:07:58.800
No man, I'm talking about fucking hard up for cash.
00:07:58.959 --> 00:08:05.279
Oh man, it's a fucking asshole parked on the fucking sidewalk every day, man.
00:08:06.399 --> 00:08:07.199
That's it.
00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:10.319
He's a fucking car, like just imagine?
00:08:10.720 --> 00:08:13.439
I just commit to fucking smashing right into him.
00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:15.839
That would be unbelievable, man.
00:08:16.240 --> 00:08:18.560
Smash right into his fucking truck.
00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:19.839
No respect.
00:08:20.240 --> 00:08:22.560
Every day he fucking parks here, man.
00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:24.399
Every fucking day.
00:08:24.720 --> 00:08:26.240
It's unreal.
00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:29.360
I'm looking back at him with my fucking neck strain.
00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:30.720
I can barely see it.
00:08:31.759 --> 00:08:34.879
His fucking whole back tire is up on the sidewalk, dude.
00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:38.960
Again, it's not even just a sidewalk, it's a yellow fucking fire lane.
00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:43.200
Like, this has to be safe for kids and old people.
00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:58.639
And the motherfucker is pulled his big fat fucking rubber fat wheel in his fucking douche fucking rat fucking Ford fucking F-150 truck bitch ass up on the sidewalk.
00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:00.559
Oh Jesus Christ.
00:09:00.879 --> 00:09:03.840
Right back to the fucking rocket launcher.
00:09:06.480 --> 00:09:07.840
I'm never gonna get well.
00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:09.600
Oh, she forgot her gum.
00:09:09.759 --> 00:09:12.399
Oh my daughter forgot her gum.
00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:14.960
I'm gonna maybe have to drop it off her.
00:09:19.120 --> 00:09:20.080
Oh yum.
00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:24.080
Oh, that is fucking brisk.
00:09:29.759 --> 00:09:37.679
They tried to deny me that I'm a coffee expert, but they can't! You been to the apple orchard?
00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:50.639
You have a nice time walking through the fucking dozen or so fucking brands or fucking cultivated fucking grown styles of fucking apples.
00:09:51.919 --> 00:09:52.559
Selpa?
00:09:53.519 --> 00:09:54.559
Backwards.
00:09:55.200 --> 00:10:05.440
Did you go to fucking six flags and fucking make sure your fucking arm bar was fucking or your over-the-shoulder fucking, you know, strap-in device was tight?
00:10:06.159 --> 00:10:09.039
Fucking, I'm tight in my fucking seatbelt right now.
00:10:30.080 --> 00:10:32.399
I'll tell you what, man, R.I.P.
00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:37.440
and no disrespect to the family or this person, but what'd you do?
00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:38.799
What'd you do this weekend?
00:10:38.879 --> 00:10:40.559
Did you go to the apple orchard?
00:10:40.799 --> 00:10:46.559
Spend fucking too much money to pick fucking apples that just are gonna fucking sit around and rot?
00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:50.639
Or did you go to Six Flags and ride Goliath?
00:10:51.279 --> 00:10:58.960
And when the fucking little free photo fucking flash goes off, he can buy those fucking photos for like 50 bucks.
00:10:59.039 --> 00:11:04.559
Yeah, you see me fucking scared to death when it, you know, I went down that hill right near the loop.
00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:06.080
Yeah, man, I did.
00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:13.200
I fucking paid 50 bucks for that photo and I'm fucking screaming and the seat next to me, the guy's fucking falling out.
00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:22.879
A guy fell out of the fucking roller coaster at the moment or within the moment of the photo capture.
00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:38.240
And whoever fucking either works at the place or was in the seat near him, paid for or posted the fucking roller coaster flash fucking photo of the guy falling out of the car.
00:11:38.399 --> 00:11:45.120
It's got the four things, you know, like, oh look at that's why I'm just about to hit the fucking upside down loop.
00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:54.240
Everybody's their hands are in the air, and then the first photo, the guy's like upside down out of his seat already, out of the fucking thing.
00:11:54.480 --> 00:12:05.440
People are looking up at him, like, oh, you know, it's like it looks like from Jaws when the the shark's just attacking the fucking boat, or you're in the raft, you're in like one of those inflatable rafts.
00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:09.840
I'll tell you what, man.
00:12:10.320 --> 00:12:15.840
If you want a fucking good time, get sick! Fuck.
00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:19.279
I've got bronchitis.
00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:21.200
I'm sick, I'm sick.
00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:25.600
I want to stick a stick into my eyeball.
00:12:25.840 --> 00:12:26.720
I'm sick.
00:12:26.960 --> 00:12:29.600
I've got bronchitis.
00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:33.039
What did you do the last days of your fucking life, Eeksho?
00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:36.320
This is the Eek Show, by the way.
00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:53.440
If you hadn't figured it out, because you're already fucking belly laughing into your own goddamn fucking oxygen! Tell you what, I wish I had that pumpkin rocket launcher.
00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:56.000
I would fire it at this F-150.
00:12:56.480 --> 00:12:59.120
Oh, a couple's going for a walk in the morning.
00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:03.600
Hey honey, you wanna go over to the fucking outdoor fucking Y?
00:13:04.399 --> 00:13:06.639
Track and walk in a circle?
00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:10.879
Now wear my fucking my new golf shirt.
00:13:11.600 --> 00:13:21.279
I'd fire a pumpkin right at him! Kidding, man, I don't wanna hurt anybody, but I do want to fucking completely wreck that fucking F-150.
00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:26.480
I know you've heard this same spiel, but I love every second of it.
00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:41.360
How much fun and fucking laughter does fucking a giant fucking rocket launcher fucking firing pumpkins at an F-150 misparked for the 50th time in a row on a fucking goddamn fire lane?
00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:43.919
How much joy does that bring you?
00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:45.600
It brings me joy.
00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:47.600
Yeah, it's a lot of joy.
00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:49.600
Fell out of the roller coaster.
00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:52.080
This one guy who was fucking right in the photo.
00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:57.200
So the first photo, he's like upside down, pants are half fallen down, you can see his ass.
00:13:57.360 --> 00:14:01.679
Unfortunately, again, no disrespect to the family or the person.
00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:06.159
This is just observational fucking humor, I guess.
00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:08.960
Maybe it's just observational reporting.
00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:18.799
He's upside down, falling out of the roller coaster within the vicinity of the fucking, you gotta pay for the fucking roller coaster photo fucking shot.
00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:24.240
You know, like looking right, look at the hell we're all fucking looking right at the camera, like we're not scared.
00:14:24.399 --> 00:14:25.519
Not in this photo.
00:14:25.679 --> 00:14:28.080
There's a fucking person like two seats away from.
00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:36.559
I'm telling you, they're literally screaming like one of the fucking lifeboats and Jaws, maybe Jaws 2, one of those mini fish sailboats.
00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:40.559
The girl's fucking screaming, crying, and it's this, I think it's a guy or a girl.
00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:45.919
Just there's horror in their face looking at the guy upside down, like out of the seat.
00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:49.679
Of course, you don't know where he falls to, but he's fucking gonna fall.
00:14:49.840 --> 00:14:52.080
Unfortunately, that I mean that's fucking horrible.
00:14:52.159 --> 00:14:53.600
I mean, why would you?
00:14:53.919 --> 00:15:00.639
I was just saying to my daughter, you can play the lottery, it's a fucking uh really low odds, right?
00:15:00.879 --> 00:15:03.039
Falling out of a roller coaster, right?
00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:07.279
That's low odds, but it's expensive, right?
00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:11.360
And not as many people do things that are higher costs.
00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:13.440
They do things that are lower costs, right?
00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:15.600
There's more poor people than there are rich people.
00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:17.200
The 1%, right?
00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:25.600
The 1% are the fucking gazillionaires or even multimillionaires and higher, and then everybody else is fucking shit.
00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:27.440
Or the other 99%.
00:15:29.279 --> 00:15:38.399
Less than 1%, it's like a fucking fraction of a percent to whatever point it is that you win the lottery if you play, no matter how many tickets you buy.
00:15:38.639 --> 00:15:43.120
My neck feels like it's got a fucking fork stuck right in it.
00:15:48.879 --> 00:15:53.360
If anybody can recommend a fucking good pillow to buy, I want it.
00:15:53.519 --> 00:15:55.039
A fucking wallop.
00:15:55.840 --> 00:15:56.559
Wallop?
00:15:56.960 --> 00:15:59.600
Fucking pillow backwards, you fucking stupid bitch.
00:16:00.320 --> 00:16:01.759
People went to the Apple larger.
00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:06.399
This fucking person went to the fucking Six Flags Park.
00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:07.679
Goliath.
00:16:08.639 --> 00:16:12.799
And right as the fucking four fucking photo shot.
00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:18.799
By the fourth photo, is the person's no longer in sight in the photo.
00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:30.960
The first one to the fourth, it's like when you flip through those pages of funnies, you draw the photo on the fucking paper and you move it a little bit each time, so you just flip through the paper, it's like and it moves along.
00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:32.879
It's stop, stop action, right?
00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:34.879
Stop and start motion.
00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:38.000
That's what the photo is.
00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:46.639
This guy fucking fell out of a fucking national southern six flags roller coaster.
00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:48.399
Goliath.
00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:51.039
My fucking tip of the day?
00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:54.879
I'm gonna give you the one thing now, well before the end of episode.
00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:56.320
The one thing?
00:16:56.879 --> 00:16:58.879
I don't know if I'd go on Goliath.
00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:03.840
Can you duct tape me into the fucking seat?
00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:09.119
Tell you what, man, I don't give a shit what those fucking metal controls or bars or seatbelts are.
00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:12.400
Duct tape wouldn't have fucking let the guy fall out.
00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:18.799
Wrap yourself in duct tape and try to get out.
00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:20.640
Without scissors.
00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:24.400
And I mean fucking industrial fucking sharpened scissors.
00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:26.559
Try to get out of it by yourself.
00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:32.160
Ik show you ever wrap yourself with duct tape?
00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:33.119
I mentioned this.
00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:35.759
Me and all my buddies did for Halloween.
00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:37.279
We're duct tape, man.
00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:47.440
And the motherfucking girls that we were with, three blind mice, they lost the fucking camera, man.
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:51.519
Epic costume in the history of fucking costumes.
00:17:51.759 --> 00:17:59.039
The fucking hot blind mice we went out with, we hung out with, lost the fucking camera.
00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:13.599
If someone out there has that camera, okay, in Ikshow land, I want you to develop the pictures, and I want him sent to Buckingham Palace, because that's where I live.
00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:23.920
Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you King Ikshow! And no, I'm not British, and no, I don't live there.
00:18:24.559 --> 00:18:26.799
Ikshow lives in a castle.
00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:28.079
Similar.
00:18:28.960 --> 00:18:30.400
Just not as nice.
00:18:32.559 --> 00:18:34.559
Did you go to fucking Six Flags?
00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:36.000
No, I didn't, man.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:39.200
I went to fucking Apple Orchard just as bad if I wanna.
00:18:39.519 --> 00:18:40.880
Just as difficult.
00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:42.960
If you wanna really talk.
00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:45.119
Real talk, yo, real talk, man.
00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:46.160
Real talk.
00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:47.839
Yo, real talk.
00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:50.160
Yo, word, real talk.
00:18:50.480 --> 00:18:51.680
Yeah, real talk, man.
00:18:51.839 --> 00:18:53.680
I listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth.
00:18:53.759 --> 00:18:54.400
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:54.559 --> 00:18:56.000
The word coming out of my mouth.
00:18:56.160 --> 00:18:56.799
Real talk.
00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:57.440
I got it.
00:18:57.519 --> 00:18:58.559
It's not fake talk.
00:18:58.640 --> 00:18:59.680
I'm listening to you.
00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:01.759
You're alive and I'm in front of you.
00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:03.200
You're in a microphone.
00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:04.799
I'm doing an interview.
00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:06.000
It's real talk.
00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:06.480
I get it.
00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:08.480
You can don't you don't even have to say talk.
00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:10.079
You are talking.
00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:11.440
Really?
00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:16.960
So straight away when you get to the fucking apple orchard, okay?
00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:21.519
It's fucking thousands of ants scurrying around.
00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:24.400
Parking on a dirt fucking road.
00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:26.559
Every wheel had wheels on it.
00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:31.920
That dirt's been waiting since the summer to just billow up.
00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:39.920
Your lungs got fucking smoke bubbles and fucking road dust for however long you're there.
00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:41.920
Yo man, how'd you get emphysema?
00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:46.480
You smoking fucking merits or fucking Newports?
00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:51.200
No man, I went to the fucking Apple orchard, man.
00:19:52.799 --> 00:19:58.640
I got fucking smoke bubble and fucking road dust poisoning in my lungs.
00:19:59.279 --> 00:20:07.119
I can I can't explore! Just have your coffee, man.
00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:08.559
Shut the fuck up.
00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:12.799
Ooh, mmm.
00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:15.359
Every fucking sip is better than the last.
00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:23.440
Every sip! No wonder you fucking came out with eek sip! Every one of them is fucking legendary!
00:20:24.319 --> 00:20:26.079
You might like onion dip.
00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:28.160
You might even like to take a trip.
00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:32.400
But there ain't nothing in the whole wide world like an Eek sip.
00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:34.240
The fucking apple orchard.
00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:35.519
Is it Orchard?
00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:42.319
No, it's fucking Orchard! How ironic that the Orchid was the name of the fucking shark boat and Jaws!
00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:43.759
It isn't, it's Orca!
00:20:44.480 --> 00:21:28.720
That guy fucking started drifting down the front of the floor or the back of the boat when the shark fucking swash jaws backwards was fucking eating the boat, he ate him! It's Orca! He needed a fucking roller coaster fucking duck tape bell, too! Right when you get up to the fucking apple orchard, it's already fucking hectic! You're not even out of the car yet! All kinds of people go there, dates, families, kids, couples, guys, girls, school classes, gatherings, old folk homes, grandparents, solo apple pickers! I saw a couple of those, man.
00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:37.359
It's like almost fucking$36 to$40 to get one of the medium bags.
00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:46.960
You could probably fit 20 20 apples in there, maybe 22, 24, maybe under 20, depending on the how fat you pick them.
00:21:47.200 --> 00:21:48.960
All kinds of fucking brands.
00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:56.319
But the first one, okay, fucking lines and rows of fucking trees, are the Macintosh apples.
00:21:56.400 --> 00:21:58.720
They call them Macs at the fucking orchard.
00:21:59.039 --> 00:22:00.480
Is that a Sign?
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:05.920
Okay, is that an iron uh is that an ironic warn me to not fucking go here?
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:07.359
Too expensive sign?
00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:10.000
What's max backward?
00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:13.599
What's max backwards?
00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:16.640
M-A-C-S! It's fucking scam!
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:19.599
This is a scam alert.
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:22.240
Repeat, you're getting ripped off.
00:22:23.039 --> 00:22:25.759
This is a scam alert.
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:30.640
You go to the fucking grocery store, apples probably, I don't know, what are they?
00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:32.640
50 cents a buck apiece?
00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:37.039
But you get to fucking you're only getting big ones and the little ones there.
00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:42.319
None of them are a fucking hanging off branches you can't get to because you're not allowed to climb the trees.
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:45.759
Each show can climb like a fucking gorilla.
00:22:49.839 --> 00:22:55.680
$36 for 22 apples, maybe less, depending on how fat you pick.
00:22:56.480 --> 00:22:58.400
That's almost two bucks an apple.
00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:04.559
Okay, you didn't know Galileo was given the fucking podcast this morning, did you?
00:23:05.440 --> 00:23:10.960
I can also tell you it would only take me like five shots to fucking wreck that F-150.
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:17.440
Hold on, needs top shots.
00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:20.400
Take the fucker down.
00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:30.319
Scam! Right in your face! Every fucking type of apple's got fucking droves of people in it.
00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:32.880
They got apples all over the ground.
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:39.519
Of course, I started fucking juggling some of the fucking half-eaten ones that people didn't throw in the spittoons.
00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:45.039
I was fucking draining following threes every other second.
00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:51.920
Oh, Ekshaw's dropping fucking curry bombs in the fucking golden delicious spittoon.
00:23:52.160 --> 00:24:16.799
You did it, Ekshaw! You did it! People were fucking screaming! Ikshow! Shoot a fucking shoot a fucking pink lady, man! I'm not gonna kill any fucking ladies dressed in pink, but sure! I'll drop a fucking half-court fucking spittoon! Pink lady apple shot! All net, no room.
00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:19.680
Walk off fucking three.
00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:23.359
They should have given me fucking four for that shot.
00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:25.440
Oh, tell me it's the truck.
00:24:25.599 --> 00:24:27.119
It is him, dude.
00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:28.640
Do you hear him?
00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:30.160
This is him.
00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:32.079
This is the guy.
00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:33.680
Here he is, man.
00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:37.759
What a fucking douche rocket.
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:41.119
Hey, 6CGB 47.
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:53.920
I can see oh, he didn't stop at the stop sign! Of course! I'll tell you, man, I wish I had a fucking magic fireball that I could fire at that guy with karma.
00:24:57.759 --> 00:25:03.359
I'm real! You can't fucking buy that anywhere else but the Eek Show.
00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:15.119
Jesus! You can hear his truck! Didn't stop at the stop sign, blasted right through it! That's the guy that doesn't fucking swerve or break for squirrels.
00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:16.960
Just runs them right over, man.
00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:18.640
Every one of them.
00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:26.960
Oh I'd love to fucking make homemade apple fucking cannonballs and fire them at them.
00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:41.920
Every line of that fucking there's Cortland apples, there's Empire apples, there's fucking Honey Crisp, Crimson Crisp, Ludacrisp! That's not even a joke.
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:46.720
Somebody actually wrote Ludacrisp on one of the fucking apple lines.
00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:49.359
And if that is a real apple, hmm.
00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:50.799
I thought it was a joke.
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:51.599
I did.
00:25:52.880 --> 00:26:02.799
Move, bitch! Get out the way! Get out the way, bitch! Get out the way! That's what I said in the fucking ludicrisp fucking apple line.
00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:04.319
Some bitch in front of me.
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:16.160
I'm trying to get to this perfect apple! Ludacrisp apple! Move, bitch! Get out the way! Get out the way, bitch! I gotta get an apple today! Move, bitch!
00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:17.039
Yo, Luda!
00:26:17.440 --> 00:26:23.200
Fucking ludicrisp! Yo Luda! No red delicious, which I fucking hate.
00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:26.559
What's your favorite apple?
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:32.160
How long can you spend picking apples when the medium bag costs fucking$36?
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:43.039
What if you go with like a fucking family of eight or nine people and you know the cans all want to hold a bag, so you might end up getting two or three bags.
00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:48.480
In fact, they tell you if you're more than three people, you've got to get a second bag.
00:26:48.799 --> 00:27:04.720
You gotta! And the prices just keep going up! Just like that fucking Goliath's roller coaster bar, it went up! Kai fucking fell out right at the photo shot.
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:10.000
It's an awful thing, but as a family, do you want that photo?
00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:12.240
It's the last photo of your fucking family.
00:27:12.400 --> 00:27:19.279
If each show fell out of a roller coaster, I want you to frame the picture and put it on your goddamn fucking mantle.
00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:31.680
I want it above the fireplace every time you're watching fucking the old fucking police show chips.
00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:52.640
How'd you learn how to play instruments with your fucking teeth and your your lips?
00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:59.759
Could have sworn that was a drum, trumpet, and a fucking trombone all in one fucking beat.
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:03.519
How'd you get the fuck out of my face, man?
00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:11.440
Oh I literally hope that F-150 flips on its side, man.
00:28:11.599 --> 00:28:13.599
Again, I don't want the guy to get hurt.
00:28:13.759 --> 00:28:16.079
I want him to get fucking bruised up.
00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:17.039
A little bit.
00:28:17.119 --> 00:28:17.759
I do that.
00:28:17.839 --> 00:28:18.880
I do want that.
00:28:19.359 --> 00:28:22.559
But I want his truck to be totaled.
00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:52.720
Keep your fucking wheels in the spot and stay out of the fucking yellow line, bitch ass! This is free fucking shit! This is fucking amazing.
00:28:53.039 --> 00:29:02.240
I'm telling you, my idea, this idea, is fucking magic! Don't you see David Copperfield in Vegas?
00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:04.000
I haven't.
00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:07.039
But I listen to the Eek Show every week.
00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:15.440
And I'll tell you what, Eek Deeny is fucking a legendary fucking act! Eek Deeny, cat?
00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:16.720
Eek Deeny.
00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:19.759
Fucking Apple Orchard, man.
00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:26.319
To wait in the fucking roller coaster line for four hours to get your cider donuts.
00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:28.240
Eek Deeny.
00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:30.160
That's another scam, right?
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:39.920
Cider donuts are made and exist the whole year! But for that fucking six suites of the apple orchid, the fucking Jaws boat!
00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:41.039
It's orca!
00:29:41.680 --> 00:29:43.759
15 bucks for a bag of six.
00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:44.400
It's orca.
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:49.680
Oh, and they're tiny little fucking donuts right out of the fryator, drenched in grease.
00:29:49.920 --> 00:29:53.279
But they do fucking dip them in that cinnamon fucking sugar.
00:29:53.519 --> 00:29:59.119
Now tell you what, even though I get fucking the shits for a week, I'm gonna have fucking three of them.
00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:05.440
And you gotta get the fresh ones, right?
00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:06.799
Right out of the oil.
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:10.799
Of course you don't get the fresh ones when you wait in the four-hour line.
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:15.359
They gotta keep up with the fucking conveyor belt of people, kids.
00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:16.000
Thank you.
00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:17.279
Okay, here's your bag.
00:30:17.440 --> 00:30:17.759
Move on.
00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:18.240
Thank you.
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:18.559
Okay.
00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:19.839
Ah, happy Halloween.
00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:21.119
Ah, yeah, picking our.
00:30:21.519 --> 00:30:22.880
Oh, what a nice little cute girl.
00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:25.039
Ah, oh, did you get a fucking pumpkin?
00:30:25.119 --> 00:30:26.079
Here's your apples.
00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:28.480
You're getting fucking some stale ones.
00:30:28.640 --> 00:30:34.079
Okay, it's the Borise's peanut butter cup fucking quandary all over again.
00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:39.519
Maybe it's not 50% of them are stale, but 25% of them are.
00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:44.160
You can buy those fucking cider donuts the whole year.
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:45.759
Anytime you want.
00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:46.880
It's fucking.
00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:52.880
It's fucking 5,000 pumpkins, all colors, all size.
00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:54.319
Squash.
00:30:54.559 --> 00:30:58.880
I got a squash, and it sucked! It wasn't fresh.
00:30:59.119 --> 00:31:03.359
It wasn't sort of a really fresh, good, organic style squash.
00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:04.559
It doesn't have to be organic.
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.359
I'm not a fucking bourgeoisie bitch ass.
00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:11.039
But it's you can tell a good squash by the consistency of it.
00:31:11.200 --> 00:31:14.880
If you cook, if you like to to eat, you have good cuisine.
00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:17.759
Bro, look at this fucking douche rocket.
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:21.359
Nice fucking Jesus Walker's fucking bitch.
00:31:22.160 --> 00:31:25.039
He's walking over to a fucking minivan bus.
00:31:26.799 --> 00:31:28.559
I'd love to fucking just.
00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:32.240
I'd love to fucking write asshole in the side of that.
00:31:32.400 --> 00:31:34.480
It's a fucking Ford minibus.
00:31:39.119 --> 00:31:41.440
Up fucking douche fucking bitch.
00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:42.720
Jesus Christ.
00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:44.480
I can't even think of a better insult.
00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:46.000
I know I say it all the time.
00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:47.839
It's too perfect.
00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:52.079
I can't believe the fucking Ford F-150 ran the stop sign.
00:31:52.160 --> 00:31:55.119
He was going like 30 out of the parking lot.
00:31:55.759 --> 00:32:00.559
You know, that's that's safe in the fucking Y where there's fucking droves of old people and kids.
00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:03.359
Yo, how did you die, man?
00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:05.599
Did you die on that fucking Goliath ride?
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:07.599
No, man, I fucking died at the Y.
00:32:08.480 --> 00:32:15.119
Fucking asshole, I can't park on the fucking inside the fucking lines in the easy spot over on the back lot.
00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:20.559
Drove him over my fucking head with his car when he ran the stop sign.
00:32:23.599 --> 00:32:28.799
Each show will take care of him with his fucking rocket launcher pumpkin fucking blast gun.
00:32:29.119 --> 00:32:30.400
Jesus Christ.
00:32:35.599 --> 00:32:37.279
The Apple Orchard.
00:32:37.440 --> 00:32:39.440
It's an annual tradition.
00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:42.559
You gotta go pick apples and go bankrupt.
00:32:43.200 --> 00:32:44.000
What'd you get?
00:32:44.160 --> 00:32:45.119
Fucking scam?
00:32:45.279 --> 00:32:45.759
I did.
00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:47.039
Macintosh.
00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:48.000
Max.
00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:50.960
You're buying fucking laptops?
00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:51.359
Nope.
00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:53.039
I'm buying fucking apples.
00:32:53.279 --> 00:32:54.640
Just as expensive.
00:32:55.279 --> 00:32:59.519
And they don't fucking have keyboard, it doesn't open up, there's no light.
00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:04.960
It's just a fucking apple with a core that sits on my counter and rots away.
00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:15.599
An apple a day fucking will make you want to fucking lose your fucking hey, bitch! Eek teeny bitch.
00:33:16.559 --> 00:33:20.799
I bet you the Goliath guy wishes he went to the fucking apple orchid.
00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:22.319
Again, R.I.P.
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:24.079
No disrespect to him.
00:33:24.319 --> 00:33:27.440
But that is fucking actual news that happened.
00:33:27.519 --> 00:33:29.519
I think it happened in Georgia.
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:41.440
Georgia! Georgia! I wish you went to the apple orchard with May and my family.
00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:50.240
Georgia! Those motherfuckers at six flags didn't keep your goddamn fucking seatball locked.
00:33:51.039 --> 00:33:53.599
And I hope you rest in peace.
00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:55.920
Up in Halon.
00:33:56.799 --> 00:33:58.319
Hey do, man, I really do.
00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:00.319
That's not even a joke.
00:34:01.759 --> 00:34:08.000
But man, the world is a fucking crazy dark fucked up place.
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:10.639
You can't die doing anything.
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:12.559
I could die here with my neck pain.
00:34:12.719 --> 00:34:14.000
Filming the Eek Show.
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:17.840
Now that's fucking an epic fucking way to go.
00:34:18.159 --> 00:34:20.320
Eek Show fucking 26.
00:34:21.679 --> 00:34:22.960
Eek peeny.
00:34:24.400 --> 00:34:26.639
Was Wade Boggs 26?
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:30.480
The Wade Boggs 352 bar?
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:34.719
Shit had fucking gallons of caramel in it.
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:40.800
I used to fucking just rock those every time after baseball practice at the 7-Eleven.
00:34:41.039 --> 00:34:47.119
A fucking suicide fucking Coke predominant, but suicide still slurpee.
00:34:47.280 --> 00:34:50.239
Suicide's when you put all the flavors they have and mix them together.
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:52.400
You still taste the Coke, right?
00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:54.880
Coke dominates all flavors.
00:34:55.199 --> 00:35:00.800
I get a weed box 352 bar and a fucking suicide slurpee.
00:35:01.360 --> 00:35:03.119
Just bounce home.
00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:05.280
Apple orchard.
00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:07.039
Such a tradition.
00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:10.800
I can't say that I hate it.
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:13.280
But I'm not sure I love it.
00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:16.000
I do like apples.
00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:17.760
I don't eat a lot of apples.
00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:20.880
I'm not a big fucking fruit apple guy.
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:22.159
That's not my choice.
00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:23.840
I like golden delicious.
00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:26.559
I like honey crisp.
00:35:27.119 --> 00:35:29.599
I hate fucking red delicious.
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:31.920
It's an interesting spot.
00:35:35.360 --> 00:35:39.280
You ever had a fucking raw grapefruit?
00:35:41.760 --> 00:35:43.519
You go to the apple orchard, man?
00:35:43.599 --> 00:35:44.400
Nah man.
00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:46.400
We're gonna go pick grapefruits.
00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:48.719
Ik show's starting a business.
00:35:49.119 --> 00:35:52.400
He's fucking harvesting fucking grapefruits.
00:35:52.719 --> 00:35:57.679
People fucking seasonally fucking come to Aruba where he fucking opens shop.
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:01.039
Just fucking pick raw grapefruits.
00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:02.960
I fucking hate it.
00:36:03.440 --> 00:36:04.719
I hate grapefruit, man.
00:36:04.880 --> 00:36:07.039
It's like an old person juice.
00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:09.360
It's fucking good for you, man.
00:36:09.519 --> 00:36:11.760
It's fucking bitter, it's all fuck.
00:36:12.239 --> 00:36:17.920
Each show put a billion into the business and sounds like he's lost another billion.
00:36:18.639 --> 00:36:19.840
Nobody's been.
00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:24.800
I'm gonna go pick grapefruits.
00:36:25.599 --> 00:36:26.880
The dream come true, man.
00:36:26.960 --> 00:36:27.679
Nobody there.
00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:30.639
Just fucking walking through up and down.
00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:39.119
Big fucking open land near the ocean that extends out into beach sand, fucking thousands of grapefruits.
00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:46.000
Instead of bags, I give out fucking or plastic fucking bags, I give out fucking army duffel bags.
00:36:46.800 --> 00:36:49.440
You buy an army duffel bag for fucking.
00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:51.440
Maybe we'll charge you$25.
00:36:52.639 --> 00:37:04.960
Still less than the fucking medium bag! Fucking East Bridgewater! How many fucking grapefruits can you fit in a fucking army duffel bag?
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:09.119
I bet you you can fit fucking 40 of them in there.
00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:15.039
I'll carry it with fucking one arm over my head all the way back to the car.
00:37:16.239 --> 00:37:18.000
No fucking sand coming up.
00:37:18.239 --> 00:37:19.840
My lungs are clean.
00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:24.000
I spent fucking a third less money.
00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:27.039
Not gonna have any fucking roller coasters there.
00:37:27.440 --> 00:37:34.400
And if I did, I'd have duct tape fucking straps! You're not falling out of duct tape, man.
00:37:34.480 --> 00:37:35.760
I'm telling you, that's not a joke.
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:49.760
You're not falling out! As long as the fucking photo area doesn't have a large fucking extendable, movable fucking giant pair of scissors that snips the fucking duct tape as you go by, you're not falling out.
00:37:53.280 --> 00:37:56.960
You might die because you can't breathe, because you're so squeezed into that shit.
00:37:57.199 --> 00:37:59.519
Ikkshow fucking died in the duct tape, man.
00:37:59.599 --> 00:38:02.320
I saw him in his coffin and couldn't get it off.
00:38:02.559 --> 00:38:05.760
His fucking carcass was in the fucking coffin.
00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:09.280
The coffin the coffin was fucking gold, by the way.
00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:14.559
He wanted an open casket.
00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:19.840
It said fucking duct tape, man, on the side of it.
00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:21.840
Eekshow legend.
00:38:23.840 --> 00:38:24.639
I miss him, man.
00:38:24.719 --> 00:38:25.679
I fucking miss him.
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:28.000
Oh god, I fucking miss him.
00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:31.280
Info at eekshow.show.
00:38:31.920 --> 00:38:33.840
Tell me if you fucking go to the orchard.
00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:46.159
The orchard! Tell me if you've ever fucking watched Jaws! If you've been on a roller coaster that goes upside down and fucking taken that photo and spent money on it.
00:38:47.199 --> 00:38:48.719
I gotta be honest.
00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:53.280
Choice B to go to the apple orchard might have been a better play.
00:38:53.920 --> 00:38:58.559
Do you want to go and get scammed at the orchard or you wanna fall out of a roller coaster?
00:38:58.719 --> 00:39:02.320
Uh scales of justice! Scales of fucking justice!
00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:06.719
Man! Scales of justice, man! Is this fucking scales and justice?
00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:12.800
You can't it's blind separately! Salescamer! Scales of fucking justice, eh?
00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:19.599
Scales and justice! My fucking dad talking about his fucking zodiac sign.
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:23.920
Scales of fucking justice, man! Is he getting scales of justice?
00:39:24.079 --> 00:39:30.639
And fucking Libra! Hey! I'm a fucking Libra! You know, I'm a fucking Libra.
00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:35.599
And a fucking and a fucking dead slut! I'm a fucking Libra.
00:39:35.679 --> 00:39:36.639
Now shut up!
00:39:37.440 --> 00:39:39.119
Jesus fucking Christ, man.
00:39:40.639 --> 00:39:42.639
It's another fucking real thing, man.
00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:49.360
These episodes just drum up fucking memories of fucking little tiny balls of fucking fun.
00:39:52.239 --> 00:40:00.320
Goliath Apple Orchard! Scam! Flow out! I gotta go with fucking option B.
00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:04.719
You know the one thing, we already talked about it.
00:40:04.880 --> 00:40:06.400
This is the Eek Show.
00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:10.400
Have an excellent fall, y'all! Bitch!
00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:15.199
Look for an Eek Show bonus this coming weekend.
