TRANSCRIPT 🔗
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Bonjour, good, prevent, hello, governor, and welcome to the UK special edition of Toothpois Podcast.
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That's right, we are about to take a look at what has been shaping the UK in the last 12 months.
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And then there comes the moment, the fate, the destiny that awaits us all.
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We must sit and watch the UK entry.
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What will they be bringing us this year?
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Will it be hope?
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Will it be joy?
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Will it be so?
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What has shaped the UK?
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Well, basically over the last 12 months, for a start, Britain has essentially been running the world's longest experiment.
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In can technically be stable and still feel like everything's a bit broken?
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Let's start with the economy.
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On paper, not bad, not as good as it could have been, but not bad.
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Growth is technically happening.
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Inflation is technically coming down.
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Wages technically rising for some.
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But in real life, people are looking at their bank accounts like, oh good, uh everything is improving, except my ability to buy anything.
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Because inflation's still hovering around 3 plus percent.
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Energy prices keep wobbling up, and household costs continue to rise.
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So the official message is things are getting better.
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And the public response is pretty much, well, fantastic, but could they hurry up and arrive?
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Meanwhile, the government rolled out a budget that promised to fix everything by doing the most British thing imaginable.
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Quietly raising taxes while insisting everything is fine.
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It's like being mugged by someone apologizing.
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Oh, sorry.
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Terribly sorry.
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Just just go freeze your tax thresholds until twenty thirty-one.
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Lovely.
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Thanks.
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Cheers.
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They also promise to ease the cost of living, cut energy bills a bit, raise wages a bit, freeze train fares a bit, which is great.
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If your finances are currently held together by a bit.
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Now politically, oh boy, the political system has turned into a reality show where there's no one winning, but everyone is still on air.
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The government's been under pressure to prove it can actually deliver
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things.
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It's pretty much safe to say public patience has run out.
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And voters, voters have decided, you know what, this situation needs more parties.
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Support for the traditional big parties is dropping while newer and smaller ones are gaining ground.
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So Britain has gone from a tidy two-party system to a chaotic group chat where nobody can agree on what takeaway to get.
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And through it all, there's this underlying vibe, this national mood.
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Not panic, not collapse, just persistent low-grade sighing.
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Whole show people's expectations are getting lower, and people are expecting recession, unrest, and things generally to get worse.
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Public services are under strain, the NHS is overwhelmed, and millions are still struggling with basic living costs.
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So if you had to sum up the UK in the last year, look, it's not a total disaster movie.
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It's not a comeback story.
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It's more sort of in a holding pattern.
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It's a country trying to fix itself while simultaneously arguing about how to fix itself, while also discovering the repair costs actually cost more than expected and possibly more than they have.
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And that's the story of Britain.
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Britain hasn't collapsed, Britain hasn't soared.
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It's just enduring.
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Like a very polite passenger on a delayed train, repeatedly checking the departure board, watching the time push back again and again, and still somehow saying, well, at least it's not cancelled.
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So what's been happening across the rest of the UK?
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Well, in Wales, back in January of 2025, the Met Office issued a yellow weather warning for snow in Wales for the weekend of 4th to 5th of January.
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I may not be a weather presenter, but I am very confident in advising everyone out there to always avoid the yellow snow, not just in January.
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Cardiff University announced it was going to close its music and modern language departments, then promptly turned around and said they would not be closing their music and modern language departments.
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Probably because some people directed some modern language words towards them.
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On the 30th of May, an upgrade to the A465 road, which began in 2002.
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That's right, an upgrade which has taken 23 years is finally completed at the cost of 2 billion pounds.
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That's one hell of a pothole.
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In October of 2025, the
Welsh government announced that European beavers are to become a protected species in Wales, bringing it in line with England and Scotland.
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That's right.
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Protect your beaver at all cost.
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Meanwhile, in Scotland, Scotland continued to lead in renewable energy, particularly in wind power, and continues its ambitious goal to become a net zero emission nation by 2045.
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Oh look, they say it's ambitious, but 2045?
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That's not that's 20 years away.
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That's not ambitious.
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20 years! I'm lucky if I make plans 20 days ahead.
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That and the average ferry fare in Scotland has increased by 10%.
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Shocking.
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Just when you thought the ferry news wasn't bad enough, Scotland then had to adjure an attack.
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Well, i.e., an attack, others may describe it as a visit from the President Donald Trump.
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An independent review found that the Scottish police force was sexist misogynist.
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And in October, MPs gave their backing to proposals to create a new criminal offence for dog theft, punishable by five years' imprisonment.
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Something we can finally get behind.
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So the UK has chosen Look Mum No Computer.
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Now, Look Mum No Computer is in fact Sam Battle.
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Now let's talk about Look Mum No Computer.
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Because at some point in human history, we said, you know what music needs?
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Less computers.
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And then this guy shows up like, cool, I'll just build my own out of literal garbage and turn it into a rave.
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Here's the deal Look Mum no Computer is basically one man, Stambattle, who decided that instead of buying synth like a normal person, he would become the IKEA of synth, but with more of a fire hazard.
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This builds musical instruments out of things that should absolutely not make music.
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Furbies, Game Boys, old telephones, washing machines.
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It's like if Frankenstein went into electronic music instead of medicine.
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In 2011, he first came up with the concept for a Furby synthesizer.
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He calls the Furby organ.
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And it was completed in 2018 using 44 Furbies.
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In 2013, Sam launched his YouTube channel, which at first mainly just showed videos for his band.
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But when that ended in 2016, this is when the mad scientist videos began.
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But here's the sneaky genius part.
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Under all the chaos, it actually teaches people stuff.
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You watch one video and suddenly you're like, wait, could I build a synthesizer?
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And then three hours later you're Googling, is hot glue electrically conductive?
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And is that legally a problem?
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So basically, look mom no computer is part musician, part inventor, part mad scientist.
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As of May 2026, his YouTube channel has garnered over 91 million views.
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As well as music, he presents a travel docuseries called Jungle Rock TV, where he travels around Europe making musical instruments and performing.
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In 2025, he announced a video game called Look Mum No Computer, published by Head Up Games.
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The game was released on Steam in 2025 and for consoles on 2026.
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But in 2025, the game was nominated for the German Developer Award for Best Audio Design.
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But when he's not doing that, Battle runs a permanent exhibition in Ramsgate in Kent.
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So after the chaos of Eurovision 2026, you can get more Look Mum No Computer.
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His exhibition houses a collection of vintage synthesizers, experimental music, electronics.
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The exhibition is named This Museum Is Not Obsolete.
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It opened in August of 2021 and features items that he has personally billed alongside historical pieces of musical equipment.
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So I have just watched the entry for the UK for 2026 at Eurovision.
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Look, Mum, No Computer, with Eins Zwei Dry.
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Now, you all know my longstanding opinion of recent songs that the UK sends.
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It gives me absolutely no pleasure in saying this.
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But this is absolutely freaking fantastic.
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I love it.
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Finally, the UK has pulled the stick from their b and is showing and embracing and displaying that dry British humor that we love.
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This is ridiculously fun.
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I mean, don't get me wrong, the juries will absolutely detest to this.
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But honestly, this feels like the most I this feels like the most authentic UK performance we have seen, not just in years, but decades.
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This guy is just out for a good old-fashioned laugh and a pint.
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And everyone in the comments on YouTube seems to have the same opinion.
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One of my favorite comments is basically someone who said, Oh, look, here's a guy singing about how shit it is in Britain and he can't wait to leave.
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This is the most accurate British song I have seen.
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A bit of interesting trivia.
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This song, the UK entry, actually features more German than the German entry.
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This one's an absolute bop.
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I've played this a couple of times over.
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You can't help but dance around to this one.
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Is it gonna win?
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No, I don't even care.
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I think, and this is the irony, I think the UK is actually gonna get some points this year for this song, which I would absolutely throw a riot if this song got zero points.
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But at the same time, it would be perfect because Sam Bettle has actually said in interviews, he understands the assignment, he gets the joke, he says he is all ready, he has designs ready to go that look mum no computer is gonna start selling t-shirts that says look mum no points.
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It is fun, it is unassuming, and for anyone who asks, pony is 25 pounds.
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This is the last video in the series, and to be honest, oh, I have been holding on to this news.
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I have actually listened to the song a little while ago, and I've been listening to it on repeat, and I have been desperate to let someone know.
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And no one is more shocked than me, but I love this song.
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This is one of my favorites of the year.
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I don't think it's gonna win.
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I don't think it's gonna be anywhere near the pop.
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But UK, I love this.
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This is what we want from you.
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This is you, we love it.
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I was about to be like, Whew, that's it, we're all done.
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Oh, sigh of relief.
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I've put so much work into all of these little short videos, these little snippets at the countries at Eurovision this year, the artists and the song.
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Let me know what you think about this format, if this is something that I should continue for next year as well.
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I did also just remember I still haven't done the Australian version.
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I just don't want to.
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I've gotta be honest.
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I hate Delta Gudrun.
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Honestly, I think she's terrible.
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It's she's the kind of performer I would have expected the UK of years have passed to send.
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Alright.
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Once more onto the breach, dear friends.
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Once more onto the breach.
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Well done, UK.
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Well done.