ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Field Notes: What Do H.A.R.D. Things Actually Means
Most people are doing pretty well in most areas of their life. But there's usually one arena where they're getting crushed, and it's quietly dragging everything else down. The guy killing it at work who hasn't been to the gym in two years. The woman in the best shape of her life who's drowning in credit card debt. The couple with the nice house who haven't had a real conversation in months.
In this Field Notes episode, Siegfried "Sig" Tiegs breaks down the Do HARD Things framework from his book Life on Offense. DO means taking action. HARD is the four arenas of your life: Health, Affluence, Relationships, and Development. THINGS are the things that matter, the 20% that make the real difference.
Sig also kicks off The Daily HARD Question: 365 days of journal prompts in the Do Hard Things Nation Facebook group, built to give you awareness in each arena and a reason to take one deliberate action every day.
In this episode:
- Why most people end up "looping," living the same year over and over
- The Army after-action review, and how to run one on your own life
- Healthspan vs. lifespan, and the four energy centers: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual
- Why sleep is the one thing to fix first
- The screen-time test for anyone who says "I don't have time"
- Money as freedom of choice, and why "the borrower is slave to the lender"
- What the 80-year Harvard happiness study found
- The three relationship circles: partner, family, and friends
- Why the number of men with no close friends has gone up five times since 1990
- The four development questions: What are you learning? Who's coaching you? What hard thing are you training for? Who are you teaching?
- Swinging singles, and why 1% better every day adds up
- Day 1 of The Daily HARD Question
Chapters
00:00 One arena dragging down the rest
00:40 What Do HARD Things means
01:25 Kicking off The Daily HARD Question
02:20 Living in reaction and "looping"
02:55 The after-action review
03:40 The HARD framework
04:05 Health: healthspan vs. lifespan
05:45 The four energy centers
07:25 Sleep
08:30 Movement and The Comfort Crisis
09:40 Nutrition
10:25 Mental health
11:05 "Look at your screen time"
11:39 Affluence: money as freedom
13:05 Poverty, middle-class, and wealthy mindsets
13:40 Relationships
14:35 The Harvard study on happiness
15:50 Partner, family, and friends
17:10 Your five people
17:45 Development
18:54 Four questions for development
20:05 Ten pages a day
20:40 Who's coaching you?
21:18 Training for a hard thing: the Misogi
21:55 Who are you teaching?
22:20 1% better every day
22:45 Why every day
23:31 Pole pole: slow is smooth, smooth is fast
24:00 Day 1: What does "healthy" actually mean to you?
24:25 Your challenge
25:53 Closing
Day 1 Question
What does "healthy" actually mean to you? Is it strength? Energy? Peace of mind? Keeping up with your kids? Still having adventures at 75? Answer it in the group.
Mentioned in this episode
- Life on Offense by Siegfried Tiegs and James E. Thornton
- The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter
- The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
- The Harvard Study of Adult Development
- 75 Hard
- The Misogi challenge
Support the Show
The Do Hard Things Podcast is listener-supported. If this episode meant something to you, become a supporter and help us keep bringing these conversations to you.
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1981380/support
If you're struggling: Call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Veterans, press 1.
Connect with Sig
- Join The Daily HARD Question in the Do Hard Things Nation on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/developgritdohardthings
- Coaching, Base Camp retreats, and Summit adventures: https://www.dohardthingscoaching.com
- Community and merch: https://www.dohardthingsnation.com
- Get Life on Offense: https://linktr.ee/dohardthingscoaching
- Email: sig@dohardthingsnation.com
- LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/jaytiegs
Welcome to the Do Hard Things Podcast with your host Jay Tiegs, Are you ready to amplify and improve your life? Then you are in the right place. On this podcast we have unfiltered conversation with inspiring people who take on challenges and share with us, the wisdom from their journey. We talk about how doing hard things adequately enable all of us to deal with life's struggles and challenges and ultimately improve the quality of our lives.
Big things are happening inside Do Hard Things Nation, and I want you with us.
Want more support? Join the Do Hard Things Wellness Academy. Four coaches. Weekly mindset training, movement, breathwork, meditation, book club, and challenges. Join as a member here:
👉 skool.com/dohardthings/about
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👉 Get the book on Amazon
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👉 dohardthingsnation.com/events
IN THIS EPISODE
SHOW NOTES 🔗
TRANSCRIPT 🔗
00:00:42.950 --> 00:00:43.350
All right.
00:00:43.429 --> 00:00:45.910
Welcome back to the Do Hard Things podcast.
00:00:45.990 --> 00:00:48.549
This is a Field Notes episode.
00:00:49.189 --> 00:00:55.990
And look, most people I talk to are doing fine in one area of their life, or maybe multiple areas of their life.
00:00:56.070 --> 00:01:04.549
I think most people are doing pretty good in most areas of their life, but there might be one area where there might just be getting crushed or maybe struggling a little bit.
00:01:04.870 --> 00:01:09.829
Look, the guy who's killing it at work and highly successful hasn't been to the gym in two years.
00:01:10.069 --> 00:01:13.909
The woman who's in the best shape of her life is drowning in credit card debt.
00:01:14.150 --> 00:01:20.069
The couple with a nice house, they haven't had a real conversation in months.
00:01:20.469 --> 00:01:24.069
And there's just a life arena that could be dragging down.
00:01:24.230 --> 00:01:30.310
So when I wrote the book Life on Offense, came up with the uh do hard things framework.
00:01:30.550 --> 00:01:31.590
This one to go through today.
00:01:31.670 --> 00:01:35.109
Like, what does the H A R D mean?
00:01:35.270 --> 00:01:37.430
What does the phrase do hard things mean?
00:01:37.590 --> 00:01:39.509
Well, do means taking action.
00:01:39.829 --> 00:01:47.830
Hard is the four life arenas of your life: health and wellness, affluence and wealth, relationships and development.
00:01:47.909 --> 00:01:49.509
And I'll break those down a little bit further.
00:01:49.590 --> 00:01:51.990
And then the things, the things are the things that matter.
00:01:52.069 --> 00:01:53.830
Are you focused on the things that matter?
00:01:53.990 --> 00:02:04.150
The 20%, we're thinking Pareto principle here, 20% of the things that really make a difference in your life, because 80% is doesn't, it's pretty irrelevant or it's busy work.
00:02:04.390 --> 00:02:13.750
So do take action in alignment with the four main life arenas: health and wellness, affluence and wealth, relationships, development, and focusing on the things that matter.
00:02:13.909 --> 00:02:21.830
And today we're kicking off the daily hard questions, H A R D in the Do Hard Things Nation Facebook page.
00:02:21.909 --> 00:02:27.430
So if you're not involved in that, go in the show notes, click on that, get connected in the Do Hard Things Facebook page.
00:02:27.509 --> 00:02:37.509
And every day for the next 365 days, there's gonna be a journal prompt to give yourself a level of awareness in these various life arenas of your life.
00:02:37.750 --> 00:02:47.110
Some of them will make you think, some might make you uncomfortable, some might just help you get to know someone else in the uh community, a like-minded individual.
00:02:47.430 --> 00:02:55.030
And ideally, hopefully, some of them spark some level of a change that will improve your life.
00:02:55.270 --> 00:03:17.030
And so the reason we're doing this is look, because most people are living in reaction, they're living in defense, they are living in the comfort zone, they're just simply trying to get by, trying to make ends meet, and they're not paying close attention, and we're trying to give some level of awareness on these things in your life that are important.
00:03:17.590 --> 00:03:23.430
And, you know, there's there's many people that have lived their life, they live the same year over and over and over again.
00:03:23.510 --> 00:03:33.349
They've got responsibilities, they've got things they've got to do, and they just simply get, they just they just kind of get in this, I call it looping, where they're living the same year over and over again.
00:03:33.430 --> 00:03:39.750
And then finally, they wake up one day and like, man, how did I how did I get here?
00:03:41.030 --> 00:03:49.990
And a good question will stop you in your tracks to to maybe make some adjustments in uh in your life.
00:03:50.230 --> 00:03:56.469
In the army, we would do an after-action review after every mission, and it was comprised of four things.
00:03:56.629 --> 00:04:04.629
What was supposed to happen, what actually happened, and why, and then how do we do different uh how do we do things differently next time?
00:04:04.790 --> 00:04:08.230
Both pluses and minuses, like what went well, what didn't go so well.
00:04:08.550 --> 00:04:10.230
Every time, four questions every time.
00:04:10.310 --> 00:04:12.150
That's how units get better.
00:04:12.390 --> 00:04:14.710
But many people don't do that with their own life.
00:04:14.950 --> 00:04:18.310
And so we're gonna do it together with a daily question.
00:04:18.790 --> 00:04:21.829
So let's break down what the the hard framework is.
00:04:21.990 --> 00:04:25.670
Hard is the four arenas of your life health, affluence, relationships, development.
00:04:25.909 --> 00:04:29.029
Do is taking action, things or the things that matter.
00:04:29.189 --> 00:04:40.870
If you want a life that is peaceful, powerful, and productive, then these are the four areas, four arenas that you've got to show up with deliberately every day.
00:04:41.189 --> 00:04:47.110
And if you neglect one of them, it can ultimately drag the other areas down with you.
00:04:47.269 --> 00:04:48.870
So let's talk about health.
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Health and wellness.
00:04:50.469 --> 00:04:54.310
When I personally think of health and wellness, I think of energy management.
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I think of chronological age, and I also think so health span and lifespan.
00:05:00.949 --> 00:05:03.189
Life span is your chronological age.
00:05:03.349 --> 00:05:06.629
The health span is the quality of your energy in that age.
00:05:06.789 --> 00:05:09.989
Now, in the time of this recording, I am 48 years old.
00:05:10.310 --> 00:05:15.349
I am different than I was 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 30 years ago.
00:05:15.669 --> 00:05:20.389
And as I have gotten older chronologically, you know, my life is different.
00:05:20.469 --> 00:05:24.310
Like things are not operating the same as they used to.
00:05:24.549 --> 00:05:30.949
But I am trying to make the most and have the highest level of energy possible as long as I possibly can.
00:05:31.750 --> 00:05:33.589
Hence health span.
00:05:34.069 --> 00:05:37.669
And being healthy means managing your system.
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I truly feel in my soul that we are a spirit having a human experience and this human body that God has given us that is an amazing thing.
00:05:47.109 --> 00:05:49.269
Like my heart beats, I don't have to think about it.
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I can breathe naturally, I don't have to think about it.
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I I can grab things, I have opposable thumb, thumbs.
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Humans are the ultimate endurance animal.
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This is like the this is the body.
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This is what we have to navigate this life.
00:06:03.109 --> 00:06:04.469
It enables me to do things.
00:06:04.629 --> 00:06:05.669
And I want it to work.
00:06:05.829 --> 00:06:12.149
I want this, I want this body to be like that, that, that Toyota Corolla that's got the million miles and just keeps ticking.
00:06:12.310 --> 00:06:13.989
That is what I want for this thing.
00:06:14.149 --> 00:06:19.109
And so uh Jim Rohn says, you've got to take care of your body because it's the only place you have to live.
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That is absolutely true.
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This is it, this is what you get.
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Everything, everything runs on this.
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If you're tired, overweight, stressed out, running on caffeine, well, that's gonna impact how you show up in this world.
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It's gonna be difficult to be a great leader, a great spouse, great parents if you're a tired one.
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And so I think about energy management.
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And I think there are four energy centers.
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You have your physical energy.
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This is your movement, your nutrition, your sleep, your stress management, hydration, all of the physical things.
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This is the quantity of your energy.
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The next level, it directly impacts your emotional energy.
00:06:53.909 --> 00:06:58.469
Isn't it true that when you are tired, that your emotional vibrancy is much lower?
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Like if I don't get a good night's sleep, it directly impacts my mood the next day.
00:07:02.549 --> 00:07:06.789
When I have high levels of emotion, I tend to have a lot of energy with that.
00:07:07.029 --> 00:07:12.310
So your emotional energy is the quality of your energy.
00:07:12.549 --> 00:07:14.949
That directly impacts your mental energy.
00:07:15.189 --> 00:07:34.310
When you are tired, your the reason that you feel fogginess is because your body is sending energy, cognitive energy that would be used for thinking or critical thinking or to like help you like, you know, help your heartbeat and help you breathe and help you digest other functions of your body.
00:07:34.549 --> 00:07:39.669
So when you're lower on energy, your body is just preserving that energy and sending it in other locations.
00:07:39.829 --> 00:07:45.269
So having high levels of physical energy directly impacts your emotional energy, directly impacts your mental energy.
00:07:45.509 --> 00:07:46.870
And then your spiritual energy.
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Spiritual energy is that connection to source, to God.
00:07:50.310 --> 00:07:54.709
When you have unlimited amounts of spiritual energy, like it just makes your life feel good.
00:07:54.789 --> 00:07:56.549
This is when you get in that true flow state.
00:07:56.789 --> 00:08:00.149
So when I think of health, it aligns with these various energy centers.
00:08:00.229 --> 00:08:01.750
That's how I think about it.
00:08:02.469 --> 00:08:10.949
You know, when and I think the uh the critical things when it comes to health is going to be your sleep movement and food and what's going on in your head.
00:08:11.109 --> 00:08:12.949
And so let's talk about sleep for a moment.
00:08:13.189 --> 00:08:16.389
About one in three American adults do not get enough sleep.
00:08:16.709 --> 00:08:22.069
And I recall, you know, when I was in the Army that uh we would brag about how little sleep that we got.
00:08:22.549 --> 00:08:26.709
And I know I personally still have some challenges with sleep.
00:08:26.870 --> 00:08:31.269
Sleep hygiene is uh something that I'm personally working on.
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And oftentimes we just do not give sleep the reverence.
00:08:34.230 --> 00:08:39.029
If we're gonna make a shortcut, because we have so many things to do, we'll oftentimes shortcut our sleep.
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But our sleep is where we repair, this is where you process emotions.
00:08:43.190 --> 00:08:47.430
It is really, really important to make sure that you get enough sleep.
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And when your sleep goes, it affects every other aspect of your life.
00:08:53.269 --> 00:08:56.870
So if you can only fix one thing, it's been recommended over and over again.
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Like instead of working out, it's better to sleep versus working out.
00:09:00.710 --> 00:09:01.830
I think Huberman has said that.
00:09:01.909 --> 00:09:07.669
I've heard other gurus say that, and it makes a lot of sense because it's the sleep that you recover and repair.
00:09:08.549 --> 00:09:10.710
All right, so the next thing is movement.
00:09:10.870 --> 00:09:23.910
Look, you don't have to go train for an Iron Man, but you do have to move every day, and it doesn't have to be anything grandiose, just simply getting steps in, like getting 10,000 steps in a day, lifting something heavy a couple times a week, getting your heart rate up.
00:09:24.230 --> 00:09:28.950
Only about a quarter of American adults are hitting the basic guidelines for cardio and strength training.
00:09:29.030 --> 00:09:33.670
And these basic guidelines are from our government, so the the guidelines are pretty low.
00:09:34.230 --> 00:09:36.710
And only a quarter of people are doing that.
00:09:36.870 --> 00:09:41.750
So if you're working out, like you're one of the you're an anomaly, uh, because many people aren't even doing that.
00:09:41.990 --> 00:09:47.430
Comfort is just the, man, it is just it the comfort crisis is a great read.
00:09:47.509 --> 00:09:49.830
If you haven't read it, go read the comfort crisis.
00:09:50.150 --> 00:09:55.990
But we're designed to move, we're designed to people chalk it up to like old age.
00:09:56.150 --> 00:09:58.629
No, we're designed to feel good even as we age.
00:09:58.790 --> 00:10:01.990
You just forgot how good it is to feel because you are not getting enough sleep.
00:10:02.070 --> 00:10:04.230
You're not moving the body, you're not getting enough nutrition.
00:10:04.470 --> 00:10:06.230
And so we need to move.
00:10:06.389 --> 00:10:12.790
And on that topic of nutrition, you know, look, we all know what we should be eating, and we're simply not.
00:10:12.950 --> 00:10:14.710
And it doesn't help that there's drive-throughs.
00:10:14.790 --> 00:10:18.790
Once again, comfort is causing us to be lazy.
00:10:18.870 --> 00:10:20.870
Uh, we're not meal prepping like we're supposed to.
00:10:20.950 --> 00:10:29.030
We're going through drive-throughs and everything has sugar in it, and we say that we're confused with it, but it's you know what you should be eating and what you shouldn't be eating.
00:10:29.110 --> 00:10:32.790
It's just a matter of making time and having the discipline for meal planning.
00:10:33.030 --> 00:10:37.110
But it doesn't help that everything is laden with sugar and there's drive-throughs everywhere.
00:10:37.190 --> 00:10:44.470
And now you got people you can get an app, and by the time I am done, you know, with this podcast, you could have, you know, burgers and a shake.
00:10:44.550 --> 00:10:51.030
You could have 3,000 calories delivered to you before you're even, before this podcast is over if you wanted to.
00:10:51.350 --> 00:10:53.910
Look, you know what to eat.
00:10:54.150 --> 00:10:58.950
You simply don't do it, but asking you to bring your level of awareness to your nutrition.
00:10:59.670 --> 00:11:03.030
And so we just talk about sleep, movement, nutrition.
00:11:03.269 --> 00:11:05.190
Final thing is your just mental health.
00:11:05.350 --> 00:11:06.710
Your mental health is health.
00:11:06.870 --> 00:11:14.470
Stress, anxiety, the stuff that no one talks about, men especially especially, we'll push through a torn muscle and call it tough.
00:11:14.710 --> 00:11:18.550
Well, we'll push through depression the same way alone for years.
00:11:18.790 --> 00:11:20.710
Ask me how I know, because I did it.
00:11:20.870 --> 00:11:22.790
And then you blow up one day.
00:11:23.030 --> 00:11:33.990
So we need to have someone to talk to, therapist, coach, buddy, a group of people, and getting out of getting those things out of your head and out into the moment, into the open.
00:11:34.310 --> 00:11:40.950
And so many people, the the number one excuse that I hear for not taking care of our overall health is I simply don't have time.
00:11:41.670 --> 00:11:47.430
And so when a client tells me that, the first thing I'm gonna ask is let's open up your phone and look at your screen time.
00:11:48.150 --> 00:11:48.710
Yeah.
00:11:48.950 --> 00:11:49.990
You think of that right now?
00:11:50.150 --> 00:11:53.110
Open up your phone right now and look at your screen time.
00:11:53.350 --> 00:11:54.710
Because there's your time.
00:11:55.509 --> 00:11:56.389
There's your time.
00:11:56.470 --> 00:11:57.190
You've got time.
00:11:57.269 --> 00:11:58.470
You're just spending it elsewhere.
00:11:58.629 --> 00:12:01.269
What you don't have is clarity.
00:12:01.430 --> 00:12:03.670
What you don't have is it's just not a priority.
00:12:03.830 --> 00:12:04.550
That's it.
00:12:04.790 --> 00:12:08.870
And so do one thing, deliberate thing each day for your health.
00:12:09.030 --> 00:12:11.110
That is what the H stands for.
00:12:11.750 --> 00:12:12.950
All right, let's talk about A.
00:12:13.030 --> 00:12:14.470
A is for affluence.
00:12:14.790 --> 00:12:19.750
When most people hear that, they're thinking, rich, lifestyles of the rich and famous.
00:12:19.910 --> 00:12:21.190
Well, that's part of it.
00:12:21.509 --> 00:12:32.389
I personally look at money as freedom, freedom of choice, and having enough that money isn't making your decisions for you and creating that level of financial freedom.
00:12:32.629 --> 00:12:34.470
Free man creates his own economy.
00:12:34.710 --> 00:12:37.670
So money is the number one source of stress for most adults.
00:12:37.830 --> 00:12:40.550
It's one of the top things couples fight about.
00:12:40.790 --> 00:12:42.389
And most people don't talk about it.
00:12:42.470 --> 00:12:44.310
They'll talk about workouts, diets, kids.
00:12:44.389 --> 00:12:47.350
But when someone asks how much debt they're carrying, that's taboo.
00:12:47.430 --> 00:12:48.310
We don't talk about that.
00:12:48.470 --> 00:12:52.150
We don't talk about different strategies for wealth management.
00:12:52.310 --> 00:12:56.550
And that's a problem because what you don't talk about is you don't fix and you feel like you're alone.
00:12:56.950 --> 00:13:02.550
And there's a great verse in Proverbs that says the borrower is slave to the lender.
00:13:02.790 --> 00:13:06.710
It was written thousands of years ago and it still uh reigns true today.
00:13:06.870 --> 00:13:13.350
If you've got a car payment, credit card balances, and a mortgage that you can barely cover, you're not free, and that stress is real.
00:13:13.590 --> 00:13:16.310
And there are different mindsets when it comes to money.
00:13:16.470 --> 00:13:22.389
There's the poverty mindset, middle class mindset, and the mindset of the wealthy, which I talk about in Life on Offense.
00:13:22.870 --> 00:13:38.150
And so, you know, the just you know, creating wealth and having a strategy for yourself is critically important to living a free and abundant life.
00:13:38.389 --> 00:13:40.870
And ultimately, it's about becoming free.
00:13:41.030 --> 00:13:47.269
I think the things that we desire in our life is tied to freedom, freedom of good health, freedom, financial freedom to make decisions.
00:13:47.430 --> 00:13:52.629
And we're gonna talk more about this more, but freedom of development, freedom of experiences, freedom of choice, all of these things.
00:13:52.710 --> 00:14:04.710
So are you making decisions, you know, that that are that are enabling you to achieve financial freedom and abundance so you can give, so you can grow, and so you can gain.
00:14:05.190 --> 00:14:06.470
Let's talk about relationships.
00:14:06.550 --> 00:14:10.790
Relationships are great as human desires to feel loved and appreciated and heard.
00:14:11.030 --> 00:14:13.430
And we have different buckets of our relationships.
00:14:13.509 --> 00:14:14.470
And how are those going?
00:14:14.710 --> 00:14:21.509
You've got your significant other, your kids, your family, your friends, the team at work, people you do business with.
00:14:21.670 --> 00:14:27.110
How many people do you have where you can call them at two o'clock in the morning and they would drop everything to be there with you?
00:14:28.070 --> 00:14:30.150
Here's what I know about relationships.
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They don't stay the same.
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You know, either every day you're either building them up or wearing them down.
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And if you look back at your life, you're probably not close with the people you graduated high school from.
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And that's okay.
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Many of us put a lot of energy into work.
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We throw ourselves into work, and our family gets the leftovers, the breadcrumbs, and we wonder why we feel distant at home.
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And you look, I've I've been through a divorce and I know what it cost when you let that slide.
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And it's very, very painful for everyone involved.
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Harvard's been running a long study on adult life for more than 80 years.
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It's one of the longest studies ever done on happiness.
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And the biggest finding wasn't that money or fame or career success led to happiness.
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It was directly tied to relationships.
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And good relationships keep us happier and healthier.
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Period.
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That is it.
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That is at the end of life, you're not going to be concerned with your success.
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You're not going to be concerned with the things that you uh accomplish as much as you will, the contributions that you made to other people and your connections to the people that you love.
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That has been chronicled over and over and over again in like hospice care.
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Um, I think of the book by uh Bonnie Ware, The Regrets of the Dying.
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That was the one thing that was talked about over and over again.
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And if you're an introvert and you don't have a large friend pool, it's okay.
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You don't have to have a large pool of friends.
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Just instead of like we have breadth of connections, but not the depth that we that we need.
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And so although we are probably more connected online than ever, we just don't have the depth.
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And everyone is putting their best foot forward and feeling inadequate.
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So the relationships aren't, I don't know, they're kind of fickle.
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And so when I work with clients, we look at three circles: partner, family, and friends.
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So your partner, when was the last time you went on a real date?
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Not running errands, not going to the kids' softball game, baseball game, soccer, just the two of you.
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Where you're staring at each other out of the eyes, not into your cell phones.
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You ever go out and see two couples sitting there at the table and they're both gazing into their cell phones?
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That's not a real date.
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That's not a real connection.
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And, you know, you gotta be deliberate.
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Even you gotta continue to date your partner even after the kids and all the responsibilities.
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About your family.
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Kids don't need more stuff.
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They don't need your presence.
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They need your presence with the C, not the T.
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And they're never they're not gonna remember what you bought them in the moment they will, and they always want things, but they're gonna remember whether or not you showed up, whether or not you were there.
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And your friends.
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This one's big for men.
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Surveys show the number of men who say they have no close friends has gone up five times since 1990.
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Five times.
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We get married, we have the kids, we build the careers, and then we slowly let our friendships die.
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Then we wonder why we feel alone.
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And you need people in your corner who will tell you the truth.
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People that will clap when you win, that will hold you accountable and lift you up when you're when you feel like you're falling short.
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And you got to be careful for the people that you let in because you're the average of the five people that you are closest with.
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So developing that rope team of like close-knit people really, really important.
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So your closest people right now the five.
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Are they dragging you down or are they pulling you up?
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Who are the five people that matter the most to you?
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And when was the last time you showed them some appreciation as well?
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And so every day when it comes to relationships, do one deliberate thing for someone who matters to you.
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Call them, put your phone down at dinner, and just do something and invest in that relationship.
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Call the old friend that you haven't done.
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So that's that's what we do.
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So do something every day in your health, do something that's gonna lead you to financial freedom, do something that's going to pour into a relationship.
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D, D is for development.
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This is how you keep growing.
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If you're not growing, you're dying.
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So learning a new skill, reading, listening to a podcast, getting coached, taking on a hard challenge, doing a Masogee, putting yourself in rooms where you're not the smartest person in the room.
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A lot of people stop growing once they get comfortable.
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They hit a certain job, certain income, certain age, and then they take their foot off the throttle and begin to coast.
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And coasting feels fine for a while until it doesn't.
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People I see doing the best in their 40s, 50s, and beyond are the ones who never stop becoming they never stopped being a student.
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They were curious.
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Jim Rohn said that a formal education will make you a living, self-education will make you a fortune.
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And most of us have stopped our education the day that we got the diploma.
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Most people never pick up a book after high school or college.
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And that's a long time without learning.
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And so when I work with clients and we talk about development, you know, we look at four things.
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What are you what are you learning?
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Who is coaching and mentoring you?
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What hard thing are you training for?
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And this surprises people.
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Who are you teaching and mentoring?
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Because you will learn when you teach and mentor others.
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So what are you learning?
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Like, do you have a curriculum for yourself?
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Like what skill do you develop?
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Are you doing randomized learning?
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That's what a lot of people do that are in the growth and development space.
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Just whatever book comes up, someone recommends it, you grab it.
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And there's there's a use case for that.
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But true mastery is like having and developing your own curriculum.
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And so, what are you learning?
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What are you listening to?
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What podcast?
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What skills are you developing?
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What subject?
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Who's coaching you?
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Coaching and mentorship is powerful because it closes in that skill gap much faster than just listening to an audiobook or listening to a podcast or listen reading a book.
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So, and and you don't need to, when it comes to like reading, like you don't need to do the reading a book a week.
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I think you can overdo it.
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I think 10 pages a day is great.
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That's what really set the tone for me.
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I did a program called 75 Hard, and the requirement was 10 pages a day, which is about a book a month.
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One book can change your life.
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And if you just read 10 pages a day, that's 12 books.
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And that's far more than most people read.
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So 10 pages only takes maybe 10 minutes.
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It's really quick.
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So it's not even that uh that big of an ask, but a lot of people don't do it.
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Easy to do, easier not to do.
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Who's coaching you?
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Every top athlete, every C-suite executive I know has a coach or a mentor of some type.
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Most people in business and life are trying to figure it out alone.
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Maybe life coach sounds like silly.
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Joining a mastermind, paying to be a part of a group, paying to go to a conference.
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For some people, they can't even fathom that.
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But there are people that that can see what you can't, and that knowledge and and and skill development can save you a lot of heartache and really close in quickly.
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That's why that's why some of the top performing people talk about coaching and mentoring.
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So, what is your budget for personal growth and development?
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Do you have one?
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Is it a priority for you?
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Because the people that are at the top, they make their personal growth and development a priority and their life reflects it.
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What hard thing are you training for?
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When was the last time you signed up for something that scares you a little bit?
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A race, a climb, a certification, a big goal with a date on it that changes how you live every other day living up to it.
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So I love the concept of a Masogi.
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You change in the pursuit of the goal.
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So having something like that is really, really important.
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So yeah.
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And in training, you know, what a blessing it is to be able to do a hard thing on your day-to-day life.
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Like that enables you to be more resilient.
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And when life gets hard and it will, like you are prepared for it.
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That's why I love training for something difficult.
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And it makes it just makes you have more gratitude for comfort.
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And finally, who are you teaching?
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Who are you teaching?
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The fastest way to learn something is to teach it to others.
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So coaching a kids' team, mentoring someone maybe a little bit behind you or someone younger than you, sharing what you know.
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It's incredibly, incredibly rewarding and fulfilling to share your knowledge with someone else.
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All of this.
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Adds up if you get 1% better every day for a year, you end up with about 37 times better.
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Small, deliberate every day.
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Just swing singles.
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A lot of people want to hit a home run, just up every day, swinging singles with that daily development habit.
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So doing one deliberate thing each day to grow.
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Read 10 pages, sign up for the race, ask somebody for feedback, give back by coaching and mentoring someone.
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That is D for development.
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So health and wellness, affluence and wealth, relationships, development.
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Why every day?
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Well, because that's how change works.
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One workout doesn't get you in shape.
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One conversation doesn't fix the marriage.
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Doing a budget, you know, saving, you know, for one day doesn't get you out of debt.
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And so James Clear says in the top and cabbage, you don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the levels of your systems.
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So the daily question is a system to ensure that you're on track.
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And that daily action in each one of those buckets is something that is going to add up.
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You swing singles every day, day in, day out.
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You're gonna you're gonna get some uh movement.
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Slow, smooth, smooth is fast.
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What we say, climbing Mount Comanjar was poly poly, one foot in front of the other.
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Slow, deliberate movement.
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Be the tortoise, not the hare.
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And so the system is that.
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And so this is a free system in the Facebook community, just a daily prompt and daily action to write down in journal something that you're gonna do, take action daily in one of those buckets, and then a daily prompt to remind you and maybe have some level of awareness within that life arena.
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So the first prompt in the group is what does healthy actually mean to you?
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Is it strength?
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Is it energy, peace of mind, being able to keep up with your kids, still having adventures at 75?
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There's no right answer to that.
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Just asking you what your answer is to it.
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And if you don't know what healthy means to you, well, how do you know if you're getting there?
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So defining what that is for you.
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So here's what I want you to do.
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I want you to go to Do Our Things Nation, the Facebook group, answer the day one question, and make it a habit to log in there daily and get the daily journal prompt, make it part of your daily routine.
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It's a great way to connect with other like-minded people because if you're listening to the podcast, you're someone that values growth.
00:24:59.670 --> 00:25:03.269
And what great way then then to connect with other like-minded people.
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There's accountability on there, people cheering you on.
00:25:06.309 --> 00:25:11.110
And yeah, that is that is your uh that is your challenge.
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If you've gained any anything positive from listening to this podcast, we just ask that you go and leave us a review.
00:25:18.309 --> 00:25:24.390
It only takes a few minutes, means a tremendous a lot because you're really trying to get the word out on what you're doing here.
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If you're looking for community or you're looking for some merch to wear, we got hats and shirts, motivational stuff, go to dohardthingsnation.com.
00:25:32.789 --> 00:25:51.190
If you're looking to level up, if you're looking for an edge in your mindset, your movement, you want to learn some nervous system regulation, you want to check out our upcoming Base Camp Retreats or Summit Retreat Adventures, go to dohardthingscoaching.com, do our thingscoaching.com, and uh you can see what's available there.
00:25:51.430 --> 00:25:54.950
If you haven't grabbed a copy of Life on Offense, go check that out.
00:25:55.029 --> 00:25:59.829
If you've read it and you haven't led us a review on Amazon, we really appreciate you doing that.
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And we'll see you in the Facebook group.
00:26:01.990 --> 00:26:05.829
So thank you so much for taking the time to uh be here to focus on yourself.
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Just encourage you to continue to be a lighthouse to others out there by leading by example.
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And yeah, keep doing hard things every day.
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Health, affluence, relationships, development.
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If you want a deeper dive on that, go grab the copy of Life on Offense, where we share some details of my own life and some tactical things that you can do to improve those areas of your life so you can crush it, be a lighthouse to live a purposeful, peaceful, powerful life.
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In the meantime, keep doing hard things, and we will see you in the next episode.
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Let's go.