Archives--Faith, Fortitude, and Financial Wisdom at 40

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Hi there, my name is Carlene, and I'm the host of Diva Tonight, the podcast for women in their 40s who want to change their perspective on life and just perspective in general.
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So tonight I have with me in person my friend Kimone, and she is going to share her own personal journey with turning 40, what it's like, and just life in general.
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So, Kimone, tell me a little bit about yourself.
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Well, hello.
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It is a pleasure to be here with you.
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Thank you so much for inviting me on your podcast, Carlene.
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And a little bit about myself.
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I am a daughter of the King of Kings.
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That is, I'm a faithful believer in Jesus Christ, and my identity stems from that.
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I was born in Jamaica and I grew to adulthood here in Canada.
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I am a lover of people, plants, productions, and I currently work as a corporate event coordinator.
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I've been in that role for almost two years now and previously spent the four years prior in a nonprofit sector for administration.
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So what was it like working in nonprofit versus where you're working now?
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I loved working in nonprofit.
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It gave me the opportunity to wear different hats because it was a smaller organization.
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There was just maybe three paid staff, and everything else was volunteer-driven.
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So it was a great experience for me to try different things.
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However, the salary was not the greatest.
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But I did love working there because of the purpose.
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It was a Christian organization, and I really came into alignment with the vision of my boss, who was the director and also an evangelist of the organization as well.
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So that was great.
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That was a great thing.
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And of course, you know, you were helping people, and I could see the impact that that was gonna make because it was in alignment to my beliefs as well.
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So it was great.
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You talk a lot about your beliefs, and you you talk about your faith.
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You're obviously very faith-based in your lifestyle, the way that you carry yourself and the way that you speak.
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So have you always been so faith-oriented in your life?
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You know, you go to church and you you read the Bible and you practice a Christian lifestyle.
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So has it always been that way?
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Well, I grew up going to church and in a Christian home.
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However, I didn't always believe in God for myself.
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It was like secondhand belief.
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So my belief system initially stemmed from what my parents believed and what I knew from growing up.
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However, as I entered into my post-teen years, where you're entering into adulthood, that's when I came to the understanding of who God was, and most importantly, Jesus Christ, uh, the Son of God, was on my own, and I started believing that for myself.
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So there was always a form of uh religion or I'd say faith in my life, but I didn't always practice or do those things that were in alignment with what the Bible says and what Christian actually looks like that actually happens to me where I came to believe it firsthand um through firsthand experience from my own journey and where that led me and how I could see that God came and intervened and just kind of poured out his grace and led me into a path uh that leads to life.
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Wow.
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Do you think that living a Christian lifestyle is harder than, you know, that it's easier said than done?
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I I think for me, like I'm more spiritual in my way of thinking and I believe in God, but I think it's a different lifestyle altogether.
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Like, you know what I mean, in terms of like the way you live your life, the decisions that you make, you probably think things through in a different way.
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Like, and and now that you know, getting back to the theme of the show, we're focusing on women in their 40s.
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Now that you're in your 40s, what does that make you think about in that way?
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Like, you know what I mean?
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Do you feel like you have a different perspective now?
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How do you feel at 40?
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Okay, you know, okay, great, great, great, great.
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Thank you, Carlene.
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Yeah, so give me a little grace.
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Uh you know, nerves got me.
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So yeah, 40s.
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Well, I have to tell you, I just crossed over into the land of the 40s, just maybe you know, four months.
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Right.
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So I don't have a lot of experience being 40, but what I can tell you is that I feel like I'm on a journey to more self-discovery as well as just self-acceptance, too, having turned 40.
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Not that it just happened when I turned 40, but on that journey to 40, that was something that was progressively happening.
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And now, kind of with that number attached, not that the number changes who I am, but it just kind of has come with a little shift in my thinking in the sense that you know what, you're getting older, and just self-reflection of do you know who you are?
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Do you know what you want?
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And what do you want your life to look like now that you're on the other side of coming out of your 30s and into your 40s?
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You know, you had asked me, there are some myths and some misconceptions about women in their 40s, and so just trying not to allow those things to kind of bombard my mind, but to kind of be clear-headed about me and where I want to go, and not allowing that number to be something that identifies me, but where I want to go and where I want to be.
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Some of the misconceptions about your past your prime, it's too late to make a career change, you're less fertile, you know, there's a possibility that your chances to conceive decrease.
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You should be married before 40.
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You know, I'm a single woman in my 40s, and I don't think that there should be any pressure on those things.
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So to answer your question without going on too much longer, I'd say, you know, just oh monitoring myself and having a lot of self-reflection as I'm progressing through this other side into 40 and just trying to see what possibilities there are for my life and trying to design the life that I want.
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Yeah, you talk about like the misconceptions about uh women in their 40s and like you're a single woman, and I can relate to that because I think it's not just society pressures us, it's just family too.
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You get the questions from family, like when are you planning to get married?
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And I think like in a lot of ways, we have to figure those things out for ourselves, whether it's now or never, or just the whole thought process, right?
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So I think you like you said, you've only been in your 40s for a few months.
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So I can't really like say certain things to that effect, but I I don't think there's the emphasis.
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I think it's just like when you turn 40, like you reflect, like you always reflect at every age.
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And I think even at 39, I was reflecting on like, oh my gosh, this is like my last year of my 30s.
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So, like when you're reflecting on like your last year before you turn 40, was there something in your mind where you're like, this is where I want my life to go now?
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Were there things that you put more focus into?
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Well, just backtrack into what I just said about the misconceptions about like not being married or not having any children because you're worried, you know, would I be able to conceive after 40 just because of the statistics that you see and you hear and those myths?
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But actually, I was reading and more than 100,000 American women over the age of 40 give birth, and over 80,000 women in Canada beyond their 40s give birth as well.
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So I share those statistics to say that that was one of the things maybe that I used to think about occasionally.
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It would cross my mind when I would hear certain things while I was approaching becoming 40.
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However, you know, I just share the statistics so I know that it's possible.
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Yeah.
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So I don't try to focus on those things.
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But that was one thing that I didn't focus on it, but it did cross my mind about what happens when you get a little bit older and you're kind of coming out of your 30s.
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And then the other thing was, and it's just because, you know, sometimes you have people in your life that have the best intentions for you, but they ask the question, oh, is there anyone in your life?
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Is there someone special?
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You know, when are we gonna see uh ring on their finger and all those different questions that come around sometimes as you get older and more seasoned in life, and people don't see certain things relationally that maybe society has an expectation for you to have happening in your life at a certain age prior to your 40s.
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That was another thing as well.
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I wanted to see and I hoped that in my 40s I would see a fulfillment of the desire to be married.
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Again, it's just been four months, so there's a lot of room for that gentleman to enter into my life.
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Where is he?
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Bring him out now.
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Um it's it's funny that you say that because I had this conversation with my cousin, and I think when you're ready, you ask for it.
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Like she said to me, she asked God like to bring her husband.
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And she didn't expect the response would be so quickly because it was someone she dated before, and he called the next day.
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Wow, right?
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And so I think it's when you're when you're ready.
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Like everyone's asking you like when it's gonna happen, but I think we are we're the people of our own journey in life.
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Like we make the decisions like on who we date, when we're ready to date, and maybe when we're dating the wrong person, it's preventing us from meeting the right person.
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Like, you know, there's so many things, right?
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Like, I think it's like self-reflection and self-development too.
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Like, and I think that like you've talked about like statistics about women.
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So I didn't really bring up the race thing, but you are another black woman like myself, and we're both from the Caribbean, and I think we're butterscotch.
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Okay, so I'm not butterscotch.
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Okay, so your butterscotch is cool.
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And I'm caramel, okay.
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So I always used to say that.
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I'm like, I'm caramel, I'm not exactly that was good, that was good.
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So as a butterscotch diva.
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Um okay, but I mean, that's not really important, but it is it sets the precedence for like pregnancy.
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And like, I think I just saw on the news this week that they're finally doing studies on like how black women, like apparently, we have more issues during pregnancy than like not to say other races don't have issues during pregnancy, but they're starting to look at that more.
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So, like, I mean, more conversations about it, more studies, research, that kind of thing, I guess.
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I don't know if how much you looked into it, but obviously we have other concerns too, you know what I mean?
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Like once we there's the middle age thing.
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Like, you know, middle age is like all these things that we have to look at more closely, right?
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So well, one thing I'd say to that though, just you'd asked me earlier, you know, if I think differently because of my faith walk and all that, and I do, and so like even this topic that you brought up with, you know, different statistics for women of color, for black women, I don't base my beliefs off of that.
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And so when I hear those things, I feel like it's just another thing for the emotional fear to creep into your life and to maybe even cause you to move in a negative direction, or we just talked about relationships, right?
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Maybe choose the wrong partner that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with because you're in a hurry to marry.
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Because, oh my goodness, look at these statistics.
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I'm a black woman and I'm trying to have a child later, and already black women have so many complications in their pregnancy.
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What's gonna happen to me?
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I need to hurry up, I need to find someone, I need to get pregnant.
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You know, you put all this pressure on yourself and which may end up impacting you negatively.
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Well, I say, you know, because I believe that there's a God and that he has a way to protect you and keep you from things that are told that this is how they're gonna be in society, I don't subscribe to those things.
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I believe that with God anything is possible and he's able to make me have a pregnancy that will carry full term with as little complications as possible.
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You know, I'm not saying things won't happen, but if I enter into the mindset of something happening older, it could be all these convocations where fear may cause such stress on my body that those things may come to fulfillment.
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And so what I'm saying is I try not to let that affect my mindset and my perspective when it comes to those things.
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So I don't look at being a woman of color, I just look at being a woman in the kingdom of God in this world, and that with him anything is possible.
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And I believe that for everyone, you know.
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I don't think I I knew that in terms of like your belief system, because like you said, the news, a lot of things are like in terms of negative um information that we are constantly, I guess what's the word, oversaturated with, or like it's always there.
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It's in the if it's not on the news, it's on your news feed on Facebook, it's on Instagram, and then you are you get to choose what you allow, right?
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And you're saying your faith is possibly the reason why you have a different mindset.
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So yeah, now that like you're thinking about this next chapter in your life, do you still want to have kids?
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Is that something important to you?
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Like, I know, yeah.
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So for me personally, I kind of had to ask my question that you're in your mid-20s, you know, you're thinking you're seeing, you're starting to see.
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I find around that time frame, I was seeing a lot of my girlfriends starting to get partnered up and getting married.
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And then it was happening again when I was turning my 30s and then now into my 40s.
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And so I really had to sit down with myself and just reflect and just ask myself those difficult questions.
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Like, if I can't have children, am I gonna be okay with that?
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If I don't meet the right person, am I gonna be okay with that?
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And so I personally came to a place where I said, you know, if I am able to have children and because I meet the right person, because I don't believe in intercourse and sexual intimacy before marriage, so that would be when I meet the right person, that that would happen.
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Then if we can have children and it happens naturally, then I would be overjoyed.
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But if it happens so that we cannot conceive, and I cannot conceive and have a child, I will be more than content with that because I have been blessed to have little people in my life through my friends and friends that are like sisters and aunt siblings and others around me.
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So I've had that exposure and I know that there's pros and cons to both sides of the spectrum to having kids and not having kids.
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But I also know there's also the gift in being able to have them and being able to return them to their parents as well.
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You know what I mean?
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Right, right.
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So for me, I kind of settled it within myself.
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That's what I'm saying to you now.
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I hope that still will be true when that day comes.
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I believe it will be, but I think you know interesting to see.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I think sometimes we have the these ideas about what will make us happy, or when I finally get this, I will whatever, fill in the blank, you know.
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But is that thing really gonna be what brings you contentment and what makes you feel whole?
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Or, you know, I believe some women they believe that if they can't have children, they're less of a woman.
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And those that do maybe feel more than or feel like they fulfill their call as a woman.
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But it depends on what you're choosing to define you, and so I think the area of childbearing could be something as well where we're looking to find fulfillment in something but or someone, which may not necessarily be the case because you know, if you've ever been around some moms, it is a joy and they love their children, but it also comes with its own set of disappointments, right?
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And so maybe initially that person thought, oh, when I have this baby, I'm gonna be happy because I'm gonna feel fulfilled, but then that doesn't happen, right?
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And so I think that's just another one of those things where we just the next thing, the next thing, the next thing.
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But I think we may be able to find the most joy in finding contentment in every stage of our journey.
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Diva, tonight, glamour for your ears.
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This is 40, a female perspective.
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Speaking of contentment, looking back on your life so far, what are you most proud of?
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What makes you happy, Kamone?
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You know, like you're just talking about looking for happiness in maybe the wrong places, or just looking, like you know what I mean?
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If I like it's it's like me.
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Oh, if I get this job, I might be happy.
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It may not be the case because you don't know what those people that you work with are gonna be like, like all these things.
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So for yourself and in your just thought process, like what makes you happy now?
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Like it doesn't matter about the age thing, like you know, what are the things that you realize in your life so far that make you happy?
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Yeah, that they find contentment with I'd say not everyone may agree with this, but again, just because of where I'm coming from regarding my faith, the fact that I have a relationship with Jesus Christ and I have a faith community has been so integral and so helpful in my life.
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And I find the most contentment when I'm able to connect to connect with God and the people that I believe that He has gifted me with in my life, and it's not superficial things I've come to understand, but it's the people that make life worth living.
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And when you get to share moments with those people as well, because you know, sometimes I I think, you know, if I get that outfit, you know, that new outfit, I'm gonna look so great, I'm gonna be so happy.
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And and you know what?
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I am happy I get that outfit, but it only lasts for so long.
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But yeah, those memories when I can reflect on the times when I was maybe out to dinner with some close friends, and there were some jokes shared and some things that happened, some new memories that were made, and you think back on it in your times of quiet or a moment of loneliness, you think on that, and that makes you smile.
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Like that is a really great gift.
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And so I guess my answer to summarize would be that where I'm finding contentment now is in God and in the relationships that I have with God and with those that He has gifted me with in my life.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I like that for sure, especially when you talk about like the memories that you have with your friends.
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Like, you know, we've had our memories where we like, I remember when we went to IKEA and we tried on like we tried every bed in the showroom because we Remember, I was like looking for the great mattress, and I don't know, I guess from years ago, like shopping at IKEA.
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I'm like, I can't believe like the best mattress is like the most expensive one, right?
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So like we have those memories where I think back of like when I used to work at IKEA and now how I'm like, wow, I had a really good, you know, deal at IKEA.
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Like, you know how much I used to pay for food and stuff, you know, like you think back to those memories, but no, it's fun, like when we did that too.
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So it's like you said, it's the memories that you have with your friends.
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And as someone who's single, myself, yeah, I think it gives you more time to reflect.
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We don't have to plan everything, like we can make certain decisions.
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Like if you want to just tomorrow, if you want to go on a drive, you want to go to Niagara, you don't really have to make sure that, okay, who's taking care of the kids, who's picking them up from school, like all these things.
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Not to say that there's anything wrong with that, but I mean, like you said, like we have a different perspective in that way, right?
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It just changes like your whole yeah.
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It's true.
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:17.440
And I'd say, you know, we get to embrace whatever season we're in, you know, we're talking about being in our forties and all those things, like that's kind of the theme and the thread that we're on this year, right?
00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:18.079
So far.
00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:21.599
And so, yeah, like embrace the season that you're in.
00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:39.359
If you're a mom in your 40s, a wife in your 40s, a single parent in their 40s, wherever you are in your 40s or in your 30s or 20s or wherever, I think what is important is get into that place where you can embrace the season that you're in.
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:46.319
They're not it may not all be good, it may not all be things that will make you happy.
00:23:46.319 --> 00:23:57.440
There may be some sad moments, there may be, you know, some depressing moments or moments where you feel stuck or whatever else it is, fill in the blank.
00:23:57.440 --> 00:24:07.200
But embrace it because life is made of these ebbs and flows, and you know, I don't know if this is someone else's quote or anything like that.
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:07.759
Yeah, yeah.
00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:17.440
But I like to say, you know, if we never had rainy days, we would never get to really appreciate those sunny days.
00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:18.799
You look at us right now.
00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:23.759
We live in Canada, we're coming out of the struggle of winter.
00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:33.759
I would say it's a struggle, it's a fight because spring tries to break through, but then boom, here comes the winter storms when you think that you're in the midst of spring.
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:35.200
And that's life, right?
00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:35.599
Yeah.
00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:50.880
We get hit with those warm days, and you feel so great because that sun is shining, you're getting that vitamin D, and then you get bam, you're hit again with those ice storms that kind of isolate you and keep you locked in, right?
00:24:50.880 --> 00:25:09.279
And you can equate that with the seasons of our lives as well, but we embrace that because we know there's hope, and there's hope because you know, okay, winter's gonna end at some point, and at some point there's gonna be spring, and so it gives you that moment to move on.
00:25:09.279 --> 00:25:11.599
So, yeah, embrace the season that you're in.
00:25:11.839 --> 00:25:12.480
Right, right.
00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:20.640
Yeah, it's uh it definitely is when you talk about the season, like the changes in life, like ups and downs and ebb and flows.
00:25:20.640 --> 00:25:22.880
And I don't know, I I it's interesting.
00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:25.519
I was listening to a podcast today.
00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:51.759
She said you shouldn't worry about if you're doing it right, if you're doing life right, like if you're not, because I guess we like society, like I think it's it's in TV shows, it's in books, movies, this whole idea of like when you're in your 20s, you finish school, and you're in your 30s, you should be married, and like you know, so all those things just because they're doing it doesn't mean that um you're doing it wrong.
00:25:51.759 --> 00:26:05.440
Like we all have our own path, and like it's the people that you that you hang around with that support you in your decision or like push you to keep on that path because sometimes you fall off the path or whatever your interest is, right?
00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:08.559
So, like, even with you, like you went back to school.
00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:10.319
I did, yeah, right.
00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:13.519
And I did, yeah, like you didn't do like me.
00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:21.519
I didn't, I you know, I went to university in 2003, and then I even changed my major when I was at York and I graduated in 2008.
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:27.039
And like when you're 24, you don't think about like, oh, the stock market crashed.
00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:29.359
This means I might not be able to find work.
00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:30.240
Like, you know what I mean?
00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:41.279
Like, so when I look back on those things, certain things are like, wow, like you know what I mean, you don't think about the impact, but like even for you, like you went to school later on in life, and like how was that like?
00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:46.319
What was your reason behind finally study event planning, right?
00:26:46.400 --> 00:26:48.160
Is that yeah, I did.
00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:59.680
So, as you say, we don't necessarily do things right or buy the books according to maybe what is the norm.
00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:03.519
Our society always, our life doesn't always go that way.
00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:07.519
It's not always first coming's love, then the baby carriage, right?
00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:13.119
Sometimes the baby carriage comes because there was love and things get a little bit out of order.
00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:15.440
And so we know that that's a part of life.
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:28.079
And so, yeah, for myself, I had tried going to school for higher education when I was younger, but I would try and I just could not quite identify where I wanted to be.
00:27:28.079 --> 00:27:32.400
And I just felt like it was almost like a waste of time because I didn't have a clear direction.
00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:38.240
So I'd start a course and then I wouldn't finish it part way because I'd lose interest or try something else.
00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:41.440
And so I just worked for a few years.
00:27:41.440 --> 00:28:01.200
I did some upgrading here and there, but nothing that was to get me a diploma or to finish a complete program until maybe about what was that, like five years ago now, where I had worked in multiple positions and different roles over the years.
00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:13.200
And after that same non-for-profit position that I worked in that I shared about earlier, the one with the low salary, it actually the salary was low, but it opened up a lot of opportunities to me.
00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:17.599
So sometimes it's really not about the money in the position that you're working in.
00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:24.799
But after working there, I had exposure to event planning in my role.
00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:28.720
And I thought, you know, I really enjoyed doing that.
00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:37.759
And so when I thought about what my next steps were gonna be, I thought, you know, I'm gonna go back to school and I'm gonna learn about this.
00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:42.319
And I ended up doing it and I got it, it was just a really short program.
00:28:42.319 --> 00:28:46.480
It was for a year because I'd actually done another program before that.
00:28:46.480 --> 00:28:48.480
And so I was able to fast track it.
00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:53.359
And I completed it, and within five years, I ended up with two diplomas.
00:28:53.359 --> 00:28:56.799
So I think it's just timing again, it's a season.
00:28:56.799 --> 00:28:57.599
Where are you?
00:28:57.599 --> 00:29:02.319
Do you know yourself a little bit more to make certain decisions, right?
00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:11.759
And so for me, I didn't fall in line with that in your 20s, you you finish school and then you buy a house and all that, right?
00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:16.160
It was a little bit out of order, but it was my personal journey.
00:29:16.160 --> 00:29:19.440
And I think that's what we all have to recognize as well.
00:29:19.440 --> 00:29:28.319
We're not comparing ourselves to others, we are comparing our younger self to ourself now.
00:29:28.319 --> 00:29:38.319
And our goal, I believe, should be to get to our better self, the person that we want to be, not who somebody else is.
00:29:38.319 --> 00:29:53.039
I think it's great to have a mentor or to look up to somebody in the position where you want to be, so that you can kind of order your steps to follow or understand the trajectory that got them there.
00:29:53.039 --> 00:29:57.039
But I don't think our goal should be to be that person.
00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:02.799
Our goal should be to be ourselves, but the better version of ourselves.
00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:09.119
Yeah, that is very interesting because I was following your little Facebook page.
00:30:09.119 --> 00:30:09.680
You know what?
00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:11.359
Like it's easy, yes.
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:16.000
So I was looking back, I know there's there's not a lot on there, but I was looking at some of your pictures.
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:19.759
I'm like, oh my god, look at come on, like you know, like your signature smile.
00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:20.960
It's always smiling.
00:30:20.960 --> 00:30:21.839
No, no, it's true.
00:30:21.839 --> 00:30:22.240
It's true.
00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:29.359
It's like they say, smiles are contagious, but you know how you're talking about you're competing not with others, but with yourself.
00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:33.599
So there's a quote that you have that you posted on your Facebook that says that.
00:30:33.599 --> 00:30:34.079
Really?
00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:38.480
So it is it's it's saying that you do manifest that or that's your belief.
00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:43.519
So obviously it's yeah, like you said, there's not a ton of stuff I can't like weed anything out, you know.
00:30:43.519 --> 00:30:49.599
Like some people go on there to find out like if there's something interesting about the person or to get them know them a little bit more.
00:30:49.599 --> 00:30:55.119
But I think the one thing that was interesting is reading that and then hearing you reiterate it.
00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:59.359
And then have you been on my Facebook page, so there you have it.
00:30:59.359 --> 00:30:59.599
Right.
00:30:59.599 --> 00:31:01.759
I'm not very active on social media.
00:31:01.839 --> 00:31:03.119
So I know, I know.
00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:07.920
That's how, like, you know, sometimes you figure fine little things on there as a researcher.
00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:12.240
Like, I'm always like looking prepare, well, preparing myself, right?
00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:15.839
So when you talk to people, like you find different things about them.
00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:23.839
And like looking back, you said that five years ago, that's when you decided to go back to school for something that you enjoyed doing.
00:31:23.839 --> 00:31:26.400
So when you were younger, what did you like to do?
00:31:26.400 --> 00:31:27.839
Was it something similar?
00:31:27.839 --> 00:31:37.519
Like, cause they say I found with a lot of people I've interviewed that there was something that they enjoyed doing when they were children that they still enjoy doing now.
00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:40.400
And it's like when you go back and you think, what did I like to do?
00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:44.000
Like me, I I love to read and I like talking.
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:46.400
And so I'm just like, you know what I mean?
00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:48.079
So you're laughing, but it's true.
00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:49.200
I got a lot of trouble.
00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:52.160
Right here in the right field.
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:53.440
Right?
00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:54.400
So there we go.
00:31:54.400 --> 00:31:56.720
So like I could have been a writer, who knows?
00:31:56.720 --> 00:31:59.200
But what did you like to do when you were a kid?
00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:01.920
Was there something like your favorite subject?
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:05.359
Like what was Camon like when she was younger?
00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:12.480
Yeah, I am not in that role right now, but I do love to sing I love music.
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:34.880
And I think if I really search through my memories, I can see where hospitality has always been a part of who I am, just that willingness to embrace others and create a comfortable space for them, an environment where they feel accepted and that they can relax and have a great experience.
00:32:34.880 --> 00:32:52.079
You know, at the time I didn't have different venues to host things at, but even going back into my 20s, I always wanted to open my home and if I could prepare something, even if it was just crackers and cheese and hot chocolate, you know how it is sometimes.
00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:55.839
Then I would uh I would willingly do that.
00:32:55.839 --> 00:32:57.759
So yeah, I do love music.
00:32:57.759 --> 00:33:12.720
I was a part of my church's worship team for a few years, and so yeah, the love of music has always been there, but I can also see that heart that I have for hospitality has been a threat in my life as well.
00:33:13.599 --> 00:33:14.319
So there you go.
00:33:14.319 --> 00:33:17.440
Yeah, no, it's it's always like the things that you like to do.
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:22.640
Like you always revisit that if you need to like look at your career path and like where you're going.
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:32.480
And as we talk about career, like, and now that you're in this role, like what have you learned about the industry itself, working in that industry?
00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:36.400
Oh, in the hospitalism, yeah.
00:33:36.400 --> 00:33:39.920
Working in hospitality, like I mean it's different, you know?
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:53.599
Like I have learned that it is a small world, the world is not as big, or my world, yeah, in Canada here, you know, in the city that I live in is not as big as I thought it was.
00:33:53.599 --> 00:34:03.519
In hospitality, I find that there's so many people that you didn't realize that you were connected to, that you become connected to, and then you see them again.
00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:06.640
It's like they're everywhere, and it's like everybody knows everybody.
00:34:06.640 --> 00:34:14.400
And it's just from the side that I've seen it from, I know that others have seen it from a more negative light.
00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:42.800
But even from my experience in the programs that I did at school and now to where I'm working, and I go to different networking events and different educational series where you have professional development, I just have really great experiences because I just meet awesome people, and I don't know if that's a blessing that has followed me, which I'm grateful for, but uh it's great.
00:34:42.800 --> 00:34:52.880
I love I love this industry, and I believe that this industry has some of the warmest people in it, and I reciprocate that.
00:34:52.880 --> 00:34:57.280
And so for me, the experiences have been great in the industry.
00:34:57.280 --> 00:35:10.960
As you know, we were hit with COVID and all that, and that really had a big impact on the industry, but it's bouncing back and better than ever, and just it is one of those industries that just connects people.
00:35:10.960 --> 00:35:22.400
And as I mentioned earlier, when I was telling about myself, people are one of my passions, and so it is great to be in a place where you feel like your gifts can shine.
00:35:22.880 --> 00:35:25.440
We said like it's really is a small world.
00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:35.599
So one of my teachers at Humber said, Don't burn any bridges because you just never know who you're gonna run into, which is true, or there might be a link.
00:35:35.599 --> 00:35:45.440
So, like, even like at the job interview, I remember one where the person who was the HR manager who was interviewing me, her husband works for the company I work for now.
00:35:45.440 --> 00:35:50.400
I'm not gonna mention names, but it's just like you said, you just never know who you're gonna run into.
00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:58.559
Like, you just have to keep that in the back of your mind because even though you're not working with that person now, you might run into them or they might be able to help you, right?
00:35:58.559 --> 00:35:59.679
It's it's true.
00:35:59.679 --> 00:36:01.519
Yeah, it's so true.
00:36:01.519 --> 00:36:10.719
So I think in the end, like what as you reflect on your 30s, what would you say to your like yourself again?
00:36:10.719 --> 00:36:20.719
You know, when you reflect back and you're like, oh, if I had to do it again, or if I had to change things in terms of like yourself in your 30s, what would you say to yourself now?
00:36:21.039 --> 00:36:24.320
Oh my goodness, in my 30s, yeah.
00:36:24.320 --> 00:36:35.039
I first of all, I just want to say how awesome wouldn't it be to be able to go back and change certain things or you know, edit them.
00:36:35.039 --> 00:36:35.440
Right.
00:36:35.440 --> 00:36:39.039
But unfortunately, we don't have that ability.
00:36:39.039 --> 00:36:54.239
But along with saying that, I also appreciate that some of the things that we wouldn't maybe have liked for ourselves in those seasons, they've shaped us and given us the character that we have today.
00:36:54.239 --> 00:37:00.000
And so I wouldn't change anything because it's shaped who I am.
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:15.039
But stay in that to answer your question regarding what would I say to my 30-year-old self if I could change anything, it would be financially save, save, save.
00:37:15.039 --> 00:37:19.920
Try to keep what you have, you don't have to spend it all.
00:37:19.920 --> 00:37:22.960
Make sure you learn about investments.
00:37:22.960 --> 00:37:33.119
That's one thing that time helps with because the earlier you start investing, the greater your return will be on your investment later.
00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:38.320
And so that's the advice that I would give anybody that's listening in their 30s right now.
00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:40.639
Save, save, invest.
00:37:40.639 --> 00:37:49.679
Financial education is a gift, and for you to apply it in your life, I think that will just take you in places.
00:37:49.679 --> 00:37:58.559
Like, you know, we talk about what do we want for our lives, and in this season, and entering into your 40s and whatever age you're entering to.
00:37:58.559 --> 00:38:07.440
The thing that I have at the forefront the foremost of my mind is that one day I won't have the same strength that I have right now.
00:38:07.440 --> 00:38:12.239
And am I financially ready when that time comes?
00:38:12.239 --> 00:38:18.239
And do I have all the investments and do I have all the savings that I'm gonna need for retirement?
00:38:18.239 --> 00:38:20.159
So that's why it's key.
00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:29.119
And so, yeah, come on, save, invest, learn about financial practices and apply them.
00:38:29.119 --> 00:38:30.559
That's what I would say.
00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:31.760
Yeah, you know what?
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:32.719
That is good advice.
00:38:32.719 --> 00:38:36.480
And I think as as women, we we have to consider that.
00:38:36.480 --> 00:38:41.599
Like even when you do have like find your person or your like you still have to think about it.
00:38:41.599 --> 00:38:43.360
I think there's that misconception now.
00:38:43.360 --> 00:38:49.280
Like as women, I think we're stronger now, and like it's good when you have that investment.
00:38:49.280 --> 00:38:56.400
Like, and so even for myself, I think my mentor said to me, like, investment, like money's an art and a science.
00:38:56.400 --> 00:39:11.039
Like, there's a system to follow a lot of things, and following that system, or like if we didn't learn it, like me and you, like obviously I didn't learn it from my parents, so I'm I have right, and then you just have to teach yourself, so that's really good advice.
00:39:11.039 --> 00:39:19.119
Cause even when you say it, it's re-emphasizing in my mind like what I want to work on in this in the season, right?
00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:24.960
All right, it's not even the season of being 40, it's just the season of life, like life, right?
00:39:25.199 --> 00:39:27.599
Of course, and it's always something that we should be working on.
00:39:27.599 --> 00:39:36.719
Unfortunately, it's not even been emphasized in school as much as you think, you know, we're learning math and all these different things.
00:39:36.719 --> 00:39:39.599
That financial education is really key.
00:39:39.599 --> 00:39:43.840
And as I just mentioned, the younger you are when you can get it.
00:39:43.840 --> 00:39:52.480
Some people are blessed with parents that are just that financially savvy and they instill it into them.
00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:59.360
And others naturally are gifted with that desire to save and keep and understand that quickly.
00:39:59.360 --> 00:40:09.519
But for those that are not gifted with that or doesn't have that natural ability to do it, I think it's great to glean and learn wherever you can.
00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:11.519
And that's kind of what I've been doing as well.
00:40:11.519 --> 00:40:19.679
I've taken some financial classes and those around me that I see have that gift and just observe them and try to learn from them.
00:40:19.679 --> 00:40:27.599
And so, you know, education is not just from school, but it's the education in life, right?
00:40:27.599 --> 00:40:32.320
From those around you, wherever you can get it from, and application.
00:40:32.320 --> 00:40:37.440
If we know things and we don't apply them, what good is it for us?
00:40:38.239 --> 00:40:46.719
Yeah, I guess it's kind of like that routine, like everyday routine, like feeding, like fitting that into your daily routine or like a habit, right?
00:40:46.719 --> 00:40:48.639
Like it takes a while to grow a habit.
00:40:48.639 --> 00:40:50.800
A good one or a bad one, right?
00:40:50.800 --> 00:40:55.360
Yeah, I love how you put that the good or the bad habit, right?
00:40:55.360 --> 00:40:55.840
I know.
00:40:55.840 --> 00:40:58.320
Like there's there, we all have our bad habits.
00:40:58.320 --> 00:41:03.920
It makes me think about just the constant reminder in life that we have to give ourselves.
00:41:03.920 --> 00:41:14.719
And as women in our 40s, it's like save, save, save, which is so true because life happens, emergencies come up, things come up that we we don't always foresee.
00:41:14.719 --> 00:41:22.639
And it's always like when you have do the same thing over and over again, and it's like being prepared or planning is so important.
00:41:22.800 --> 00:41:29.039
So it's true, and I'll just add one more thing to that because it's something that I'm reapplying in my life.
00:41:29.039 --> 00:41:38.639
If there's one thing that's kind of hit me back in the head of that I should be practicing, and it's just paying yourself first, you know.
00:41:38.639 --> 00:41:39.280
Right, right.
00:41:39.280 --> 00:41:45.199
You get that paycheck and you're gonna pay your bills, you know, you put it on your budget.
00:41:45.199 --> 00:41:53.679
Make sure one of those budget items is to pay yourself a percentage from that salary because no one's gonna give it to you.
00:41:53.679 --> 00:41:57.280
I mean, if you're married, maybe you'll have help that way.
00:41:57.280 --> 00:42:05.519
If you have wealthy parents or there's some kind of generational wealth that's helpful, but unfortunately, that's not the case for all of us.
00:42:05.519 --> 00:42:13.840
And so even taking that little bit and paying yourself before you pay the rest of the bills, it will go a long way.
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:14.480
10%.
00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:17.280
I think that's when one of the dragons said that.
00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:19.199
I forgot his name, but yeah, 10%.
00:42:19.199 --> 00:42:29.519
Like, I think I don't know if you've seen it, but he was talking about his mom, and he had no idea that she had invested money, like since he was a kid.
00:42:29.519 --> 00:42:51.360
And so when they called him down to the like the lawyer called, and he's like, Oh, there's your mom set aside money for you, and he couldn't believe like he didn't say the amount, but he was like shocked because she was investing money for years, like even though she was married and everything, she was putting money aside for him when he got older or if anything happened to her, so right, you know what I mean.
00:42:51.360 --> 00:42:58.719
So even at that time, yeah, just doing that, like it's important for I guess the your future self, right?
00:42:58.719 --> 00:43:00.800
So that we can retire comfortably, right?
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:01.360
Yeah.
00:43:02.719 --> 00:43:04.719
I think we don't talk about it enough.
00:43:04.719 --> 00:43:09.599
I think the topic of money is so taboo still, yeah.
00:43:09.599 --> 00:43:30.559
You know, you would think there's so many other things that should really be kept private that is not, but something like money and sharing those resources and those tips and those things to help you to become financially richer, and you know, it helps in life as well.
00:43:30.559 --> 00:43:45.440
And we don't talk about it enough, or we feel like, oh, I can't share with that person that I'm struggling, that I'm not sure how I should spend my money, or how will I get more, or how can I cause it to increase, you know?
00:43:45.440 --> 00:43:48.880
There's no shame in something that you don't know how to do.
00:43:48.880 --> 00:43:54.159
I think we are here for each other, it's getting over ourselves as well.
00:43:54.159 --> 00:44:00.880
And I think maybe that's one of the things that come as we become more seasoned in life, too, being in your 40s.
00:44:00.880 --> 00:44:09.519
I'm not sure, but for me, I just realizing like I I can't be too prideful about things that I don't know and I don't understand.
00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:17.920
I have to be able to trust that community that I've built that I do trust to share those things with.
00:44:17.920 --> 00:44:22.239
And it'll make me a better person in general as well.
00:44:22.639 --> 00:44:26.400
Those are some insightful words, some great advice, right?
00:44:26.400 --> 00:44:53.440
And I could even take the that advice for myself, like I think we all can, because we like when you're changing your how do you say it's trajectory or your like the way your life you want your life to be, we need those constant reminders, and like you need to like even if you have a mentor or someone that like you know teaching you about like money, because there are people who follow the system or did it, and they have advice to share.
00:44:53.440 --> 00:45:00.000
Like, and I think sometimes we're in that in that mindset where we don't want that advice or we don't want to be reminded.
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.719
Like it's kind of like your parents scolding you for doing something wrong, and you're like, it's like being disciplined, right, with everything in life.
00:45:06.719 --> 00:45:10.079
So I think it's important to look at that too, right?
00:45:10.079 --> 00:45:17.039
And yeah, it's a it's great that you've shared your experiences in life and like your journey.
00:45:17.039 --> 00:45:25.519
And I think it'd be interesting just to see, like at the end of the year, like how how you like how what your perspective is like.
00:45:25.519 --> 00:45:26.320
You know what I mean?
00:45:26.320 --> 00:45:28.239
I think it's like you're in 40.
00:45:28.239 --> 00:45:29.360
Right.
00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:30.719
That's good.
00:45:30.719 --> 00:45:31.280
Come on.
00:45:31.280 --> 00:45:31.920
A whole year.
00:45:31.920 --> 00:45:33.440
I've had a whole year, right?
00:45:33.440 --> 00:45:37.599
So I just turned 41 not too long ago, and I think it's like, yeah, right.
00:45:37.599 --> 00:45:39.440
So happy belated, right?
00:45:39.440 --> 00:45:46.800
Anyways, I'm Carlene, and this is Diva Tonight with Kimon Cloonis.
00:45:46.800 --> 00:45:51.199
And follow me on Instagram at Diva on the radio.
00:45:51.199 --> 00:45:53.280
It's diva with two eyes.
00:45:53.280 --> 00:45:55.760
And if you want to send a text, you can.
00:45:55.760 --> 00:45:58.719
DivaTonight.bussprout.com.
00:45:58.719 --> 00:46:05.840
Uh tell me what you think about investing in your 30s, like you know, what your opinion is.
00:46:05.840 --> 00:46:07.119
Thank you for listening.
00:46:07.119 --> 00:46:09.360
I'm Carleen and this is D.VaTonight.
00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:13.199
Diva Tonight with Carleen will be back.
00:46:13.199 --> 00:46:18.800
Send us a message on Instagram at diva underscore tonight.