Archives ---Black Excellence in Family Organization

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Hi, I'm Carlene and this is Diva Tonight.
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I have a special guest with me.
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She is, wow, she has many titles.
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Dr.
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Shelly Jones Halt.
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She's a doctor in education.
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She's a leadership speaker.
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She also has a family business, which is something I think I you definitely have to dig into, which is your leadership legacy consulting, I guess agency in a way, like you help families, right?
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Was what you do.
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Carlene, it's an honor to be here.
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And I'm glad you found me and that way to be on uh the Divas show.
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Yeah.
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So uh what I do is I was I'm I started out as a teacher.
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I know we were just talking in the preamble show around uh being teachers and having that gift of wanting to give back and recognizing that I had a special talent in being able to help uh people other than myself understand information.
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I could take very complex information and make it so that people can learn it and understand it, which is essentially the role of a teacher.
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And then I elevated into leadership.
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And as I traveled that leadership journey to from, you know, teacher to assistant principal, principal, director, all the way to superintendent, as I traveled that journey, what I learned is a lot about myself and my own leadership capacities and capabilities and what I did and did not like to do.
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But I also learned a lot about families and not only in starting my own, but in, you know, the result of your family leadership shows at the up at the schoolhouse every day.
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How you run your household, as much as you might think you keep it at home, trust and believe it comes to school with your kids every single day.
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And what I found over the years is that not that my family is perfect, please do not think that I'm saying this as I always have to give that disclaimer.
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Like, you know, people are gonna come and look at my family, like, you got your issues.
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Yes, I do.
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I promise you, Roddy.
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But what I noticed is there were a lot of people that did not have the right priorities for parenting or didn't understand what their role was as a family leader and where their role stopped and the school's role started, or vice versa, right?
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There was almost this mentality like I gave birth to this human being, and then between the ages of zero and about four and a half, I did my part like they lived.
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And now I'm going to turn them over to you for all of the cultivation and nurturing that they need until they hit 18.
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And it's like, no, no, no, no, it don't work that way.
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You know, yes, schools have gotten from just the ABCs and the one, two, threes to now feeding the kids, social emotional support, after school care, before school care, clothing.
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Like there's so many different things that we're asking the schools to do.
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And what I realized after talking to parents is that they weren't sure about their job.
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And it became so clear to me.
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And I was like, this is a place where I can help in the nicest way possible to able to say, let's be clear about the what the role of a family leader is and how that plays out.
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And a lot of that I learned and was able to bring to the table because of my role in educational leadership.
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So that's why I have the nonprofit which focuses on family leadership and apprenticeship and entrepreneurship and homeownership and all of these different pieces that make your family run, that many folks in the communities I was working with didn't understand, right?
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And then you also have this part of my business, which is the being the executive leadership coach.
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I have served as, you know, the CEO of several organizations.
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So I do know how that works and some of the tips and tricks of the trade, but also some of the characteristics and growth model work to coach others to do the same.
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So that's who I am.
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It's what I love to do, and I do what I do in honor and in service of black women, unapologetically.
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I am blackity, blackity, black, black, black, and I always will be.
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And that's you know who I am.
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I think that is one thing that differentiates women in America versus Canada.
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We define ourselves as black, but we're not gonna call it out like that.
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I think that that's that's a very strong-minded black uh female woman that you are and that you the way you present yourself, you know what I mean?
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Um, which is important because I'm black myself.
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And I think the one thing um that a lot of families struggle with is how they run the household.
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And as someone who lived in a household that was very dysfunctional coming out from that, it's like I had to learn to parent myself because I didn't have like the best parents.
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And I thought about it the other day, like how long it's taken me to get here and to like get over all the dysfunction, the trauma, and everything that was happening as I was growing up.
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And it's not just me, it's like how my mother was probably raised and then her mother, and like you said, with what you do with your community is helping families because it starts in the home, right?
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And they say it takes a village to raise a child, and I believe it.
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Like if you don't have a strong village to help you, it struggles, like, you know, in in many different facets.
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You're right, it does.
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And and I would argue that just as important as having the village is having a roadmap.
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Because here's the thing you got a whole lot of people going in the wrong direction.
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Houston, you now you just got a bigger more people in the problem because you still have a problem, you know what I mean?
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And and I agree with you, the difference.
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Um I used to live in uh Michigan, uh, which is right next, obviously, right next to Canada.
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And there is a very distinct difference, especially being from where I'm from and why I am so closely attuned with my identity.
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Part of our work in family leadership is encouraging others to do the same.
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I want my folks to talk about and be proud of their heritage, because that's part of the leadership journey and the leadership responsibilities of families, is to teach their children what is their heritage.
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Where did we come from?
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What are our values, right?
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But if you are not even getting that at home, at least if you knew that, hey, personal, this is what personal leadership is.
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At least if my parents, I can go figure it out myself.
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Like, and that's where having a structure to what family leadership is can help even our young people who are in situations that you kind of referenced where that you you had no control over that.
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You weren't going to be able to do anything about that.
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And it may not have elevated to the level where the authorities, quote unquote, need to get involved.
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And so you're in this strange position where you're not necessarily getting what you need emotionally, spiritually, you know, possibly sometimes physically, but it's not to such an extent where you have options of where you can go.
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And so what other recourse do we have other than the power of the not just the village, but education and the and an educated village that knows this is what she's gonna get at school.
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And I can be assured that this is what's going to happen, and this is what I am responsible for at home.
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And, you know, I saw something today.
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I haven't fact checked it because I saw it literally as I was at a stoplight a little bit before we had this meeting.
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So I thought I had it.
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Oh my gosh, but I saw an executive order from our amazing, you know, new new administration that's saying now they're going to give people permission to whoop the kids in school again.
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Wow.
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And which kind of made me go, I again, I have not fact-checked this, y'all.
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Please don't get on there saying that shows pregnant.
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I'm telling you right now, I happen to see it at a stoplight.
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We're on a call, and it's bringing this to mind.
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But the reason it's bringing it to mind is if you still believe that the school's job is to teach your child how to behave and to deal with whatever behaviors that your child brings, I mean, they're trying to tell us in the strongest way possible that's not the school's job.
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And if this exact if that thing is real that I saw today at the stoplight, what it basically means is there's a whole body of work that we as families need to do, and we and our children need to know what that work is.
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And so that's what we talk about is the five parts to family leadership.
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Everybody has to do their part in our five.
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That's personal leadership, knowing who you are, relational leadership, knowing how to deal with others, right?
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Because that's important.
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You also have financial leadership.
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You know, need to know how to do something with that money besides spending.
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That is spending is one part of the four-part equation equation of spend, budget, invest, and save, right?
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And then you have home leadership, how to turn a house into a home.
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That's an actual skill, like having chore charts and you know, knowing when to turn, you know, change the air filters and who's gonna do the dishes and who's cooking.
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Like those are all things you need to organize and have some leadership of.
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And then finally, there is school, which is the curr professional career leadership.
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That's the only thing the school is supposed to help you with.
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Yet, you know, if I were to put that on my thumb, people are trying to hitchhike their way through life on school, what the school is supposed to do.
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But it's like, wait a minute, all these other four are the responsibilities of the home.
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And we're at a certain extent, as an administrator in the schools, I would hear our teachers in their frustration and I feel them.
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And on the one hand, there's a, well, you shouldn't think like that because that's considered, you know, you don't understand what they're going through, and our job is to teach.
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And that is one, yes, that is true.
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But there is also a side of this where it's like, well, is there some merit to what they're saying in that they can only do their jobs best when these other pieces that are the responsibility of the home are taken care of?
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And if nobody's talking about what that is, if no one's sharing with our families, and we can't even agree on what those things are in a general sense, because notice I didn't say what religion you had to be in.
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I didn't say you know what your sexuality, I didn't say anything about that, race, nothing.
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This is just basics of running ahow of being a human being, right?
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And being able to lead yourself.
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If nobody is talking about that, then no wonder we're so confused.
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No wonder there's so much chat, so many challenges.
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And as the divas, we really gotta think about how are we gonna take this bull by the horns and go ahead and whip it into shape.
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Because otherwise, we're gonna keep losing our kids, losing our households, and doing what?
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Waiting on the government to fix it?
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Good luck, right?
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Oh, you wait for so you wait for Superwan or Superwoman.
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Well, okay, let me know how that works out.
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It's you, boo.
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You've got to do it.
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Yeah, yeah.
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It's that thing where you gotta take care of you first before anybody else.
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Like, and and even if it's your family.
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And we're talking about family, how to run a household properly and education, how I guess they run hand in hand, but I think you obviously have to educate your children at home.
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But before we get any further with that, I am talking to you.
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So I think we need to figure out more about you and what you do and how you got here, right?
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There's more to Shelly than the organization.
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I mean, obviously, kudos to you for creating this environment.
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This is amazing.
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I think it's so, it's so it's organized.
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And obviously, organization is key in life, routine is key.
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Like you said, things don't always run smoothly, but it's you are very passionate about helping others and making sure that things are done in a certain way to help, you know, like you said, black women, black families.
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And we always need more help in that way because like every my a lot of minority groups struggle, but we I think we struggle a lot more.
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Even yes, we do.
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So and and let me be clear about why I may I formulated this whole ideology around black families.
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And there's a concept known as the curb cut effect.
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And what the curb cut effect is, it's this idea that if you're trying to solve a problem, you want to begin to create solutions for where the problem is at its worst, right?
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So here's the idea where the where it came from is back in the 70s, many folks don't know that here in the United States, we did not have, you know, how you walk down the sidewalk and you have those curves, those cuts in the curb that where you can like where cars can come in, or you know, even on the sidewalk if you're walking and it goes down, like that wasn't always the case.
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That was actually something that had to be fought for.
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Um, it came up as it uh through the Americans with Disabilities Act, where people with wheelchairs were saying, hey, we can't even go down, like walk, and I'm using real uh air quotes, down the street because there's nowhere for us to keep going.
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We have to go around and do all this stuff.
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And so um the city of Berkeley was like, you know what, that sounds um like a huge problem.
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Let's, you know, consider, you know, we're asking for you to cut the curves in such a way where we can walk wheelchairs up.
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And it was a huge issue, most likely um related to, well, most of it related to funding, because now they were gonna have to like cut all these curves, and you know, that was gonna cost taxpayers money.
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But here's the idea behind the curb cut effect.
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Yes, it was designed and created for people with wheelchairs, but by designing it and creating it for people with wheelchairs, there are several many other groups that benefited.
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Imagine people that were with walking with baby strollers, anybody that's delivering groceries or supplies or delivery trucks that have to take those dollies up.
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You have people that were blind that now could tell where things ended, and now they have the bumps on them where they've added that on, you know.
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And so you have all of these different tangential impacts that were really good from that cut from the cutting the curve, but cutting the curve was designed for people with wheelchairs.
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So, where am I going with this?
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Come back to the issue of why I designed my program around African Americans and African American families.
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Well, I had the choice of looking at probably possibly Japanese families based on the Japanese internment camps and what had happened over the years and how the Japanese community had to revive itself from there.
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I'm looking at various other immigrant groups from you know Jewish groups to Afghan groups to Armenian groups.
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Like I had all these different groups that I could have looked at.
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And what it came down to was looking at how much and how long the families of a certain group had been impacted, and where did we see the worst impacts?
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And no matter what I looked at as far as the research, and I know I get really nerdy, this is part of me, is the nerdy research woman, right?
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But part of what I wanted to do, I mean, there was a part of me that I had this gut, you know, cardiac assessment, if you will, that I think black American families are going to be the ones I need to focus on the most.
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But let me go look and make sure, because I don't want to, you know, inadvertently imply or or apply the curb cut effect where it doesn't work or where it's not best applied.
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So I looked at all of that, and lo and behold, for the when you look at in particular American culture, over the years that America has been in existence, there is no other group that has suffered more direct impact, more direct targeting for negative consequences, if you will, for negativity than African Americans in this country.
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And so it just made sense.
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So we just started looking at, well, what are some of the areas where we have the biggest issues?
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So we put all of that out there.
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And then I wanted to see all the air, like just big categories, because in order to make something applicable to all, you yes, you focus on that group as the one with the issues, and you want to point out all the issues, then we categorize them so that we can basically talk about these larger categories.
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And the larger categories are applicable to most, whereas the individual things are only applicable to that group.
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And so using the curb cut effect as the basis, I was able to look and say, all right, let's pick the group that has the most impact on their on their families and their family dynamics and have had the most negative consequences as a result, and are in the most the worst position, if you will, as a result of all this.
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And African Americans came up.
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Um, and then you when I looked at this internationally, whether it was Germany, Canada, Mexico, like the there was definitely a if you look at wealth uh numbers by hue of ethnicity.
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And so you notice that the darker the hue, the lower the amount of wealth for that group.
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And so that's the way I was able to do it for countries like Italy or uh England or like places where it's a little bit bigger and it's a little bit more homogeneous.
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And so when I looked at all that and came up with it, I realized that you know what?
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My my whole goal in life from my upbringing, from my parents, from anything else, has always been wanting to help and to serve and to do so, create something that can help people be better people.
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Can we people better, please?
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And is there any way I can do to help?
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And what I realized that all this learning that I've been doing all these years, and I love to learn.
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I love like read it's it's just it feeds me.
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I love to learn.
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And so all this learning, I could now, you know, degrees from some very prestigious universities around leadership, and now I can apply that to something that was very near and dear to my heart, like the family.
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And whoa, like that just we talked earlier in the pre-show about like finally feeling like I have something that gives me purpose.
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Because even though I've led organizations, even though I'm a mom of eight, um, I have a wife.
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Mom of eight.
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Wow.
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I mean, I knew you had quite a big family from what I read, but I didn't think yes.
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Oh my goodness.
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Wow, how are you here right now?
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How is she here?
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And yeah.
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They are literally over in the house waiting on, they're literally waiting for me to finish.
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Yeah.
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So they're like, you know, Mom, you're making meatloaf, right?
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So yes, these hands are gonna meatloaf.
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Then I'll be back over here to do some more work.
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Right?
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So the show, this series that I'm working on is called This Is 40, and I'm talking to women in their 40s.
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Are you in that wheelhouse?
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You know?
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Girl, yes, I am.
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I sure am.
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All right, awesome, awesome.
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That's great.
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And you have eight.
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How do you do it?
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Uh first of all, we have to be organized, and this is where the leadership comes in.
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My brain and I are partners.
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And I hate to say it and be like keep harping on it.
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We do write things out.
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Like, honey, they're eight.
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I can't figure out who has this and who has that, and he's picking up who.
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:23.200
And we have to have things mapped out.
00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:26.160
And so many families, it's like you do this at work.
00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:31.359
Like, even if people that like uh the local plumber has a calendar and a schedule.
00:19:31.519 --> 00:19:35.039
I just want y'all to know the electrician has a schedule, right?
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:40.480
Whatever blue-collar job you can think of, where you're not thinking that pencil and paper or computers are involved.
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:43.200
I promise you, they have those things.
00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:50.480
Yet somehow, some way, we believe we can run our family without having a family, a schedule or something.
00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:56.319
And so that's how we do it, and that's what made me turn a lot of this into family work.
00:19:56.720 --> 00:19:59.920
Diva Tonight, glamour for your ears.
00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:03.200
This is 40, a female perspective.
00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:05.519
I'm Carlene, and this is D.Va Tonight.
00:20:05.680 --> 00:20:13.119
So we were talking about your family and how, in order to run a household, you have to be organized, you know.
00:20:13.359 --> 00:20:17.839
Even the plumber who comes to fix your faucet, you know what I mean?
00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:22.720
He has a schedule of which houses he's gonna go to that day, which is true.
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:25.200
You know, I started watching what's her name?
00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:27.359
She's like the clutter bug lady.
00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:28.000
She's so cool.
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:29.599
Marie Kondo.
00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:30.960
Yeah, I think so.
00:20:31.200 --> 00:20:37.279
Because she does everything based on like the way she organizes people's homes or she helps organize.
00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:41.519
She's on YouTube and she's the clutter bug because she she calls.
00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:47.680
Yeah, so pretty much there's different, there's the B, the clutter bug, like there's different personalities.
00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:48.880
Yes, yeah.
00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:51.039
I know you're oh, you know, yeah.
00:20:51.119 --> 00:20:54.960
So I mean, even her, like all these things, organizing your pantry.
00:20:55.039 --> 00:20:59.680
So I'm learning from her too, because like I'm organized, but I'm scatterbrained.
00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:02.400
So I have to do certain things too.
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:06.960
And like you said, writing things down is crucial, you know, like with memory.
00:21:07.920 --> 00:21:08.480
Yeah, having a plan.
00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:10.160
Writing it down, having a plan.
00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:14.480
Like, you know, one of the things that people ask me, like having eight kids, how do you do it?
00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:23.839
And I said, Well, one of the things that we do is we schedule three dates a year, if you will, that are individual dates that we have with our kids, each of our kids.
00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:28.400
So, you know, three times a year we know that they know that they're gonna get like just us time.
00:21:28.480 --> 00:21:31.680
And so it'll be a day, maybe we'll surprise them and go pick them up.
00:21:31.759 --> 00:21:34.559
My husband and I will get together and we're like, okay, well, this is AJ's day.
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:35.279
All right, great.
00:21:35.440 --> 00:21:59.759
And we'll grab them and we'll go do go-karts and eat ice cream and you know, and then we but the whole the purpose of the day is to have fun and to realize that everybody needs a little bit of individual attention, and sometimes you just gotta steal those moments when you can, but also to have a conversation with them where we're asking them about their hopes and their dreams and their goals and the things that they feel like they're doing well in, and where we can help them and support them and do better.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:01.200
As parents.
00:22:01.359 --> 00:22:21.119
And it's really a beautiful conversation that over time now we've tried through the program to like codify it so that we can give people like a list of questions and starters to open up the these kind of conversations and make sure that you plan these moments with your young people so that you know who they are, you know how they've shifted and changed.
00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:24.160
Like my daughter has wanted to be a veterinarian.
00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:26.960
She's wanted to be, I think she wants to be all these things.
00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:35.599
She wants to be a Steva, a chef, uh a chef, a pastry chef of some sort, a veterinarian.
00:22:35.759 --> 00:22:37.200
What else did she tell me recently?
00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:45.039
Oh, yeah, she's going to make um crocs, you know, those decorative crocs that people have with all the the bells and whistles and beads and stuff.
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:50.160
I mean, she has all of these dreams of what she wants to do, right?
00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:56.559
But how I wouldn't know that if I really didn't take the time to sit and listen to her and I actually write this stuff down.
00:22:56.799 --> 00:23:01.759
And then when we're looking at, all right, where are we going to do um, what lessons are you gonna do?
00:23:01.839 --> 00:23:02.960
What sports are you gonna play?
00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:04.000
What are you interested in?
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:06.000
What cli are you interested in theater?
00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:22.960
You want like we've got to talk this out because if you want to do drama and this kid wants to do tennis and this kid want, like I want everybody to be able to do what they want to do, but I need to be able to know so I can schedule all of this out and make sure you all get the experiences that you want.
00:23:23.119 --> 00:23:25.759
And also, if you're into something, I can look it up.
00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:28.240
But we don't really take that kind of time.
00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:45.039
I and I would ask our the audience, like, how think about it in the last month, how much time have you taken with any one of your kids individually to get to know where they are, how they're feeling, what are their hopes, what are their dreams, what's changed, what are they excited about for the summer?
00:23:45.200 --> 00:24:03.039
And those are the kind of things that I think help us make the house run because not only do we have a plan and we have schedules and such, but we also spend intentional time with each of our kids and each other to keep you know these leadership tenants at the forefront.
00:24:03.279 --> 00:24:03.680
Right.
00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:12.160
And so with your organization, obviously your household, you organize it as best as you can.
00:24:12.319 --> 00:24:18.720
Um, I'm sure you have a planner and everyone has their set chores and that kind of thing just to keep everything going.
00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:22.160
But how do you help families?
00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:23.519
Do you have workshops?
00:24:23.599 --> 00:24:38.160
Because what I see here is that, you know, when you were talking earlier about how everything runs together, like parenting and how you work on your finances and like how everything all in one, you know what I mean?
00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:47.759
Like uh your personal life, your your financial life, your your your mental health, like you know, they all kind of run together.
00:24:47.920 --> 00:25:00.400
So I think yeah, and so it seems like with your organization, you help other families structure their life in an organized way, pretty much, right?
00:25:00.720 --> 00:25:01.680
That's pretty much it.
00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:05.200
So we do, I've done several one-day seminars.
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:13.759
So I'll have like church groups that'll bring me out, or local city councils will want to do like a family day or a family leadership day for their community.
00:25:13.920 --> 00:25:16.240
And so they'll bring me out and I'll do my one-day workshop.
00:25:16.319 --> 00:25:23.759
And what ends up happening is I introduce the concept of family leadership, and then they get a little booklet to begin to set goals for their family.
00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:26.960
And for some people, they're they're like, Well, what is this?
00:25:27.119 --> 00:25:29.279
You know, they get they're kind of like, I'm not sure.
00:25:29.599 --> 00:25:33.759
But for many others, it's like, oh my gosh, I've never thought about this.
00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:42.319
I've never sat here and said, like, what are the personal leadership goals that I have for myself, for my own health and well-being?
00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:43.680
Like, we are in our 40s.
00:25:43.839 --> 00:25:50.319
If somebody's not going through menopause, I but well, let me tell you a little so we can do a whole nother show about what that's going to bring.
00:25:50.640 --> 00:25:52.240
Because all of us are gonna go through it.
00:25:52.400 --> 00:26:03.839
And let me tell you, when you, when, not if you start to lose your mind during menopause or pre-menopause, you're gonna want that schedule because you're not gonna want to talk about it.
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:18.640
You're gonna want folks to know what the expectations are, you're gonna want folks to be able to almost be on autopilot sometimes because you're dealing with your own personal summer or your own personal whatever is going on because the hormonal changes are huge.
00:26:18.880 --> 00:26:30.640
And we don't necessarily part of the reason I'm talking about this on this show is because it shows up for us, especially as women in our 40s, in a very different way when it's not together.
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:38.079
And then we want to look at everybody else and get upset with everybody else and not always want to look and say, Well, did I set this up right?
00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:39.839
Did I even give people the idea?
00:26:40.079 --> 00:26:42.319
Did I even introduce the conversation about that?
00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:44.240
I even set the expectation.
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:53.759
But that's real hard to do when your hormones are absolutely insane and you may not have gotten, you know, your medicine or whatever it is you need to buy.
00:26:54.559 --> 00:26:54.799
Wow.
00:26:55.039 --> 00:26:57.519
Girl, like Dr.
00:26:57.680 --> 00:26:59.279
Shelly, I'm like blown away.
00:26:59.359 --> 00:27:16.799
I think there was a reason we connected because I think, like you said, we are definitely gonna have more than one conversation, even if it's like like families for sure, like it's important to help families, but I think even like single moms, like how to structure your household on your own.
00:27:16.880 --> 00:27:17.680
You know what I mean?
00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:20.720
Because as a black woman, a lot of black women.
00:27:21.359 --> 00:27:22.720
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:24.480
I mean, and that and that's tough.
00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:32.240
I love what you're bringing up because you know, whether like that's so that's what I do is I do workshops with with groups that want to bring me out.
00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:46.640
I also have we are just launching our online program because I've been really hesitant about doing this stuff online because I do like that personal connection with folks, especially as you talk about something as intimate and personal as their family.
00:27:46.799 --> 00:27:54.799
But we are launching our first webinar later this month uh or next month, and I believe May 30th is the it's gonna May 30th or May 31st.
00:27:54.880 --> 00:28:01.440
I'd have to ask my assistant to the date, but we're gonna launch our first webinar to do this in an online course.
00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:05.599
And so that anybody can come together and we bring together family leaders.
00:28:05.759 --> 00:28:10.880
And when I tell you, it is so beautiful to see folks that go, oh my God, I thought I was the only one.
00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:27.599
And you have, you know, a couple in Alabama talking to a couple in Washington State, talking to a couple in DC, talking to a couple in Michigan, and you know, one's Asian, one's a lesbian couple, one's a gay male couple, one some have kids, some don't.
00:28:27.759 --> 00:28:30.240
And we're all talking about how to be better humans.
00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:33.119
We're all talking about how to be better family leaders.
00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:40.640
We're all talking about the love and the struggles and the challenges, not only to love one another, but also sometimes to love ourselves.
00:28:40.880 --> 00:28:42.000
That is powerful.
00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:42.720
Yeah.
00:28:43.039 --> 00:28:43.440
Wow.
00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:46.160
You are you're like answering some of my questions.
00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:49.920
I mean, like, what roles does community play in your life?
00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:58.319
Obviously, it plays many roles because you're bringing many communities together with your workshops, right?
00:28:58.480 --> 00:28:58.799
Yeah.
00:28:59.119 --> 00:28:59.519
Yeah.
00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:09.200
And like community for me, I think there's something that, you know, I'm I've always been longing for in being in America.
00:29:09.440 --> 00:29:18.480
It's that being able to have a community that really does, if it can't look like me, at least it is unapologetically for me, right?
00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:22.960
And you know, if you have both, that's you know, absolutely fantastic.
00:29:23.119 --> 00:29:29.119
And in some of the places and spaces I was in as a leader, I saw beautiful communities.
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:31.359
Like, we don't talk much about the Armenian community.
00:29:31.440 --> 00:29:34.079
And let me just tell you, the Kardashians are not the Armenian community.
00:29:34.160 --> 00:29:36.559
Like, let's get that out of our hands, right?
00:29:36.799 --> 00:29:46.640
But you know, some of our uh Russian-Ukrainian communities, I know right now that's you know a thing, but remember there are people who are actually of Russian and Ukrainian descent.
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:53.599
We don't even talk about, you know, those kind of those folks who have come here, but the community they have with one another is beautiful.
00:29:53.759 --> 00:30:03.519
And so I've always longed to be able to create something for families to be able to have real conversations with one another and really get to know one another.
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:11.039
And so it it plays a huge role in how I can bring people together, but also in how I create community for my kids.
00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:17.839
I want them to see that people from all walks of life really do just want what's best for their families.
00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:19.759
We're all going through something.
00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:26.400
And let's not outside tell us who we should and should not relate to, love, connect with.
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:31.279
I think that we need to keep, you know, other people out of that business and we decide that for ourselves.
00:30:31.440 --> 00:30:33.759
So yeah, I think community is huge.
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:44.400
And I would also say, like being in education, when you're in a community with people and their children, I think there is a lot that, you know, we we have to appreciate and and love about that.
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:49.839
Because to allow some for someone to allow you into their child's life is one of the greatest honors.
00:30:50.000 --> 00:31:08.400
And so I've always considered it, you know, an honor and a privilege that parents and community members have considered me, you know, worthy to be able to support their kids as their principal or superintendent, but even now as a family leadership coach and an executive coach and a support for people outside of those spaces.
00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:09.519
Wow, yeah.
00:31:09.759 --> 00:31:11.119
Community is so important.
00:31:11.200 --> 00:31:21.440
And and you know, you know, now that you're in your 40s and you have gotten to this place in your life, how do you feel in your life right now?
00:31:21.599 --> 00:31:27.680
Like, I mean, uh, we were talking about perimenopause and all those things, but how do you feel at this stage in your life?
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:33.599
I would say right now, I feel a different kind of freedom and I'm on my way to liberation.
00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:34.160
I love it.
00:31:34.319 --> 00:31:44.480
And what I mean by that is I've taken, I I've released the need to fix the things that I now realize I I'm not gonna fix.
00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:47.759
And maybe it was never my thing to fix.
00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:48.400
Right?
00:31:48.640 --> 00:32:02.240
Like for when I was in education, like there was a part of me that wholeheartedly believed that I could almost single-handedly, you know, fix the fact that kids aren't learning at high levels in some of our neediest communities.
00:32:02.319 --> 00:32:06.720
Like it nearly killed me because that was I I believed in it so deeply.
00:32:06.880 --> 00:32:11.839
And then I had to realize, inshallah, you can't save the world as much as you would like to.
00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:14.799
Like, that's not where God has called you to be.
00:32:15.039 --> 00:32:18.240
And so let's figure out how we can make this a little bit more manageable.
00:32:18.319 --> 00:32:25.680
And that led to a lot of stress trying to be perfect, trying to be this, trying to be that, trying to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife.
00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:30.240
The and I think now in my 40s, I've given up any concept of perfection.
00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:38.160
And I'm like, I'm at the is it is what it is stage of my of my honey.
00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:49.200
I I will say, you know, I I don't want to curse, but I I will, man, I I'm in my you know what it phase uh of life right now, and it's so freeing.
00:32:49.359 --> 00:32:51.200
Like that's what I mean by the freedom part.
00:32:51.279 --> 00:32:54.240
Like I feel like, huh, release that burden.
00:32:54.319 --> 00:32:56.240
I don't know why I put that on in the first place.
00:32:56.319 --> 00:32:57.200
That was stupid.
00:32:57.359 --> 00:32:59.279
Like, why did I even do that?
00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:04.799
So there's a certain freedom of trying to release, you know, I can't control things I can't control.
00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:23.279
And I'm on my way to liberation because now that I've really wrapped my mind around the things I can control, I'm now working on being able to be in a place of financial and mental freedom to be able to do whatever the heck I want, when I want, how I want to do it, with who I want to do it with.
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:27.039
And for me, that's my definition of liberation where I don't have to worry about money.
00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:29.279
I don't have to worry about, you know, time.
00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:32.240
I don't have to worry about if I want to do it, I'll do it.
00:33:32.319 --> 00:33:34.720
And if I don't want to do it, I won't do it, right?
00:33:34.880 --> 00:33:36.160
That kind of thing.
00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:45.359
And I I'm on my way to that because you know what the only thing that like allows us to do that is having the finances to be able to take care of our lifestyle, other than that, right?
00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:47.200
So yeah, it's so true.
00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:54.319
One of my um mentors told me that financial freedom, you know, that's that's the thing that's so important, you know.
00:33:54.480 --> 00:33:56.240
It it helps in a lot of ways.
00:33:56.400 --> 00:34:09.119
So, you know, that saying, it's like uh with money, we always people have a hard time talking about money, but it yeah, but it is it is important, you know, like you need it to retire, you need it to travel.
00:34:09.360 --> 00:34:28.400
And if you if you don't know how to manage it, which is like an ongoing thing for even people in our community, because we weren't taught at a lot, like I wasn't taught at home about finances, but the getting back to your original statement of being liberated, I I can feel the liberation in your voice.
00:34:28.559 --> 00:34:31.119
Like I'm not in the same room with you, but I can hear it.
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:31.840
You know what I mean?
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:35.119
You can hear when that energy comes across.
00:34:35.199 --> 00:34:42.079
And like even when you're probably having a bad day, you're still gonna try and see the positive side of things.
00:34:42.159 --> 00:34:43.599
Like, you know, we'll try.
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:45.360
Yeah, we'll try, right?
00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:46.320
Yeah.
00:34:46.559 --> 00:34:54.639
I love what you just said around, you know, having the financial literacy to be able to do that and it not being something that we share.
00:34:54.800 --> 00:35:02.239
But I would also argue that as women at our age, we need to stop not being comfortable talking about money.
00:35:02.400 --> 00:35:06.960
Like sister to sister, woman to woman, you know, female to female.
00:35:07.199 --> 00:35:12.159
We need to recognize that we are not gonna get better at something we're afraid to talk about.
00:35:12.320 --> 00:35:17.360
We're not gonna understand more the rules of the game if we're not even willing to talk about the game.
00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:25.440
We're not and so, you know, I get, I feel you deeply when you said, you know, we we were not always taught and we don't talk about it.
00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:27.679
And so how are we ever supposed to learn?
00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:38.880
How are we ever supposed to grow if not only do we not talk about it, but for some reason we've made it taboo, almost insulting and embarrassing to talk about what you don't know.
00:35:39.039 --> 00:35:42.079
And that and nothing could be further not liberating.
00:35:42.159 --> 00:35:54.800
And I would say that's one of the pieces of my liberation is that I'm at an age now where when I tell you I could care less, I don't care if the quote, if you think the question is stupid, the other person, I don't know what I'm gonna ask.
00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:59.679
And I'm gonna keep asking until I figure out what it is you're talking about, right?
00:35:59.920 --> 00:36:05.039
And you know, whereas before I might have like, oh well, they might they might feel I'm stupid.
00:36:05.119 --> 00:36:07.039
What the hell are you stupid for thinking I'm stupid?
00:36:07.119 --> 00:36:08.480
Go on, think that stupid.
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:12.320
Right.
00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:17.039
And you know, I feel like at this age, we're like, man, whatever.
00:36:17.199 --> 00:36:21.599
Whereas before we might have been more concerned about what people think.
00:36:21.760 --> 00:36:22.400
Yeah, yeah.
00:36:23.280 --> 00:36:23.920
It's true.
00:36:24.079 --> 00:36:24.880
It's so true.
00:36:25.039 --> 00:36:25.679
Yes, it is.
00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:29.280
Yeah, I found out about especially around the stock market.
00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:33.360
I just started asking people who I thought looked smart questions about the stuff.
00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:34.880
I know it sounds insane.
00:36:35.039 --> 00:36:37.039
Like, I'd be at a at a restaurant somewhere.
00:36:37.119 --> 00:36:39.840
I'm like, you look like you invest in the stock market, do you?
00:36:39.920 --> 00:36:42.639
And they'd be like, Yeah, I realize that.
00:36:48.880 --> 00:36:49.679
Why are you doing that?
00:36:52.239 --> 00:36:53.360
Why wouldn't I?
00:36:54.239 --> 00:36:56.079
But I guess that's for me.
00:36:56.400 --> 00:36:57.119
You know what?
00:36:57.280 --> 00:36:58.159
It's so true.
00:36:58.320 --> 00:37:01.119
I think now I think less about what people think.
00:37:01.199 --> 00:37:06.559
Like I've done it too, where I'm in a line, I'm at the Tim Horns, and I remember this day, like it was yesterday.
00:37:06.639 --> 00:37:10.960
I you just made me think of this other person I met when I was out too.
00:37:11.039 --> 00:37:13.599
And I said, I'm like, your daughter's hair is so nice.
00:37:13.679 --> 00:37:15.840
And then, you know, that started the conversation.
00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:21.360
And I think so I ordered my coffee, then she went, and then I ran into her again, and she's like, Oh, come and meet my mom.
00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:28.320
And it turned into this whole other thing, just because I said something to her when I was waiting in line at the Tim Hortons.
00:37:28.639 --> 00:37:29.599
Like, I'm telling you.
00:37:29.760 --> 00:37:32.079
So, like with her go ahead.
00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:34.719
You did you did good at your people in that day.
00:37:34.880 --> 00:37:36.320
Yes, you did, right?
00:37:36.559 --> 00:37:37.199
So did you.
00:37:37.360 --> 00:37:39.280
So did you learn a lot of people?
00:37:39.440 --> 00:37:39.679
Yeah.
00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:48.559
But yesterday we're in a my husband and I are in Lowe's, and we're with my daughter, and I'm picking out paint colors, but obviously I'm I'm knee deep in paint colors.
00:37:48.639 --> 00:37:52.559
And if any of you have ever picked a paint color, you know, like we're in it.
00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:56.880
I mean, now I got four different shades of black, and I gotta find just the right perfect black, right?
00:37:57.039 --> 00:37:59.199
And they're all saying black of some sort, right?
00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:02.960
Or, you know, two different shades of white, but I want whitey, whitey, white, white.
00:38:03.199 --> 00:38:04.480
I got ultra white.
00:38:04.719 --> 00:38:13.760
Anyway, I'm standing there looking at, you know, the purples at the time, and I my husband is standing right next to me, so he can see behind me, but I can't.
00:38:13.840 --> 00:38:15.679
And so I'm standing, steadily standing.
00:38:15.760 --> 00:38:17.280
I I'm nobody saying anything.
00:38:17.360 --> 00:38:18.480
I'm in my own little world.
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:22.719
Finally, my husband looks over, he says, Hey, you can use your words.
00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:25.039
Looking at him, like, who are you talking to?
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:29.119
Apparently, a lady had been standing there trying to get by.
00:38:29.360 --> 00:38:30.400
She says, Well, excuse me.
00:38:31.199 --> 00:38:31.360
Okay.
00:38:31.679 --> 00:38:34.239
And then my husband goes, Yes, we can all people today.
00:38:34.320 --> 00:38:35.440
We're gonna learn to people.
00:38:35.840 --> 00:38:36.320
Oh my god.
00:38:38.559 --> 00:38:42.960
She's been standing there for a you know a good minute, you know, just waiting for you.
00:38:43.039 --> 00:38:47.119
I was like, and then he's like, I wanted to tell us you, she's gonna be here a while.
00:38:47.280 --> 00:38:55.679
You see, I'm just marinating, like, she's it's gonna take her a minute to choose from the 12 different purples that y'all have given her.
00:38:55.840 --> 00:39:01.199
So you can stand there if you want to and now say, excuse me, or you can use your words.
00:39:01.440 --> 00:39:09.119
Oh my gosh, I am actually just envisioning that because anyone who's listening can relate to that because we've all been there.
00:39:09.360 --> 00:39:15.119
Where even yesterday, when I went to Walmart and I was packing my stuff and clearly not fast enough.
00:39:15.280 --> 00:39:21.679
And then the girl, like the next two girls, they were packing up their stuff, and it's like I wasn't even there.
00:39:21.760 --> 00:39:23.440
I'm like, do you not see me?
00:39:23.519 --> 00:39:27.039
Sometimes I wouldn't even say anything, but I'm like, Do you not see me here?
00:39:27.199 --> 00:39:34.639
Like, I'm not done packing up my stuff, but you're clearly like doing it as if I'm not even there, right?
00:39:34.719 --> 00:39:36.159
And it's like the whole manner thing.
00:39:36.639 --> 00:39:37.840
Like, you can't see me.
00:39:38.079 --> 00:39:38.960
Yes, yes.
00:39:39.199 --> 00:39:44.719
I'm gonna need you to quit acting like you or like you're so scared to just regular people.
00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:51.840
Like, let's not let all this divisiveness and crap that's going on in our world keep us from being regular people.
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:56.159
The hellos, goodbyes, thank you, excuse me.
00:39:56.400 --> 00:39:57.599
Hi, how are you?
00:39:57.840 --> 00:39:58.800
Have a great day.
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:01.199
Like those things still work, y'all.
00:40:01.440 --> 00:40:06.239
And it does and they're universal across all identities.
00:40:06.559 --> 00:40:10.159
Y'all can't see me saying that, but just no, I said that with my whole gest.
00:40:10.559 --> 00:40:20.719
So, like I'm just saying, these things still work, and I think when we get in our 40s, it's when we finally look around and go, I'ma need y'all, I'ma need y'all to stop.
00:40:21.199 --> 00:40:28.480
Maybe and maybe that's the auntie age, like maybe we've officially been an auntie status where we're looking at everybody ready to whoop everybody kids.
00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:38.000
Like even the grown ones, even looking at the grown man, like boy, don't make me uh uh uh uh don't make me take off my chakra and go, uh don't don't play with me.
00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:40.719
Not today, my friend, and tomorrow look good either.
00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:42.400
I'm gonna need you to people better.
00:40:42.559 --> 00:40:44.960
Excuse me, is the word you were looking for.
00:40:45.199 --> 00:40:45.760
I love that.
00:40:47.760 --> 00:40:50.400
I'm gonna need you to people better if only we can't.
00:40:53.119 --> 00:40:56.320
You're gonna have to use your people skills that your parents taught you.
00:40:56.400 --> 00:40:57.599
Did they teach you that?
00:40:57.920 --> 00:40:58.239
You know?
00:40:58.400 --> 00:40:59.840
Yeah, the little skills, boo-boo.
00:40:59.920 --> 00:41:01.360
This is soft skills and softies.
00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:02.239
I mean, we got them.
00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:02.800
Come on.
00:41:02.960 --> 00:41:05.840
I mean, it maybe it's to the point where we just need to make it a gesture.
00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:09.840
Like we just wiggle our fingers together and be like, okay, soft skills, and we all know.
00:41:09.920 --> 00:41:12.000
Like it's just it becomes like the head nod.
00:41:12.559 --> 00:41:13.920
I know what the head nod means.
00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:16.960
We're gonna miss the total or just that look.
00:41:18.400 --> 00:41:20.320
You know, yeah, I'm trying to get through.
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:21.440
Yeah, yeah.
00:41:21.920 --> 00:41:23.599
Yeah, trying to get through.
00:41:26.639 --> 00:41:28.800
Oh my gosh, that is just too funny.
00:41:28.880 --> 00:41:29.599
Oh, I love it.
00:41:29.760 --> 00:41:30.159
I love it.
00:41:30.320 --> 00:41:31.440
This is amazing.
00:41:31.679 --> 00:41:36.159
Yes, definitely love this conversation and what you bring to the table.
00:41:36.320 --> 00:41:40.800
So you said you're launching the webinar in May at the end of next month.
00:41:40.960 --> 00:41:42.639
So, I mean, that'll be exciting.
00:41:42.880 --> 00:41:51.679
I think I will, depending on what comes with that whole webinar, I might have to consider it, you know, save up my my not pennies anymore, my nickels, you know what I mean?
00:41:51.760 --> 00:41:53.519
So I can join in.
00:41:53.599 --> 00:41:54.000
Yeah.
00:41:54.320 --> 00:41:55.519
Well, hopefully, yes.
00:41:55.599 --> 00:41:56.719
I mean, that's my goal.
00:41:57.199 --> 00:42:02.400
And let me just tell every you and everybody else for this first time, it's gonna be extremely affordable.
00:42:02.559 --> 00:42:07.440
It literally is gonna be able to cover the cost of my team just to be able to put this work on.
00:42:07.679 --> 00:42:22.000
But like this is, you know, now I'm at this stage in my career, and maybe other women in their 40s can or folks in their 40s can understand where I'm not as much concerned about making money as much as I am making an impact and leaving a legacy.
00:42:22.159 --> 00:42:34.559
And so this is what I want to refine really refine and be able to leave as my gift to the world, if you will, is like here's a framework for how to think about this thing called family leadership.
00:42:34.800 --> 00:42:42.880
And if you want it, and it's just five very clear pillars that you get to define how you want to for your family.
00:42:43.039 --> 00:42:46.960
But I need you to understand that all of them need to be taken care of.
00:42:47.199 --> 00:43:01.440
And you cannot expect the school, you cannot default any of these responsibilities to the school if we want to see, you know, real change happen, if we want to see true, um, be very proud of what we have produced.
00:43:01.599 --> 00:43:10.559
Because what I often tell people is what raising our families and being our best self is the one job that we all have.
00:43:10.800 --> 00:43:14.880
It's the most important job, yet it's the job we have the least training in.
00:43:15.039 --> 00:43:20.960
It's the job we have the least you know, support, the least amount of guidance to do.
00:43:21.119 --> 00:43:28.000
No one taught me how to be me, and no one taught me how to raise these kids, which honestly are the two biggest things in my life.
00:43:28.079 --> 00:43:46.960
And I think coming to this age and for all us to realize that there is nobody that can do you better than you, and there is nobody that God gave those kids to other than you, and gave that, you know, husband or wife or spouse or whoever it is that's in your family leadership community, they gave He gave that's yours.
00:43:47.199 --> 00:43:48.559
You are an expert in that.
00:43:48.719 --> 00:43:59.760
And so, as much as we can do to be our best at that, you know, it's definitely gonna be something that I think all people you it's gonna be free to attend the webinar, please by all.
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:02.639
All means come hear a little bit more about it.
00:44:02.800 --> 00:44:18.960
But most importantly, I would encourage you that if you want to be your best view, if you're still struggling with some of these things, if you're in your 40s and like, look, maybe I haven't gone through menopause or I'm starting to, but what she said about being organized when you get in this bad boy, that hit home in a different way.
00:44:19.119 --> 00:44:23.599
And I'm hoping to see you there because I'm gonna tell it does hit in a different way.
00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:32.719
And had I not had some of these structures in place in my family as of right now, entering this honey, I got my vitamin, my bag of vitamins right here.
00:44:32.880 --> 00:44:33.119
Yeah, yeah.
00:44:33.280 --> 00:44:33.920
I'm gonna shake it.
00:44:34.079 --> 00:44:34.719
Oh my gosh.
00:44:35.599 --> 00:44:37.119
The whole bag of vitamins thing.
00:44:37.199 --> 00:44:54.000
Have you seen like Tia from what's the there's this thing on Instagram of for a while back where she was like in her 20s, she was like drinking alcohol, doing the whole thing, and now in your 40s, it's like, okay, you have a fruit table, and then all your vitamins, your vitamin D.
00:44:54.079 --> 00:45:00.880
Like, you see her just like, yeah, this is for my shit.
00:45:02.880 --> 00:45:08.800
Oh, that's my bad vitamins that I have that I have to keep with me and take every day.
00:45:08.880 --> 00:45:15.519
And it's everything from the iron to the B12 to the once a day to the like you gotta take.
00:45:15.679 --> 00:45:16.480
And yeah, you're right.
00:45:16.559 --> 00:45:18.239
You know, we start out, we drink anything.
00:45:18.320 --> 00:45:19.280
What's that in that cup?
00:45:19.360 --> 00:45:20.480
I don't care, I'll drink it.
00:45:20.639 --> 00:45:22.559
Now we're like, hold on, is that organic?
00:45:22.880 --> 00:45:24.320
Is that alkaline water?
00:45:24.559 --> 00:45:27.360
Is it what the heck happened to us?
00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:29.039
Oh my gosh, Dr.
00:45:29.199 --> 00:45:30.480
Shelly, you make me laugh.
00:45:30.559 --> 00:45:30.880
I love it.
00:45:30.960 --> 00:45:37.119
You're sowing alkaline water.
00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:38.880
Oh my goodness.
00:45:39.599 --> 00:45:41.679
How much sugar is in that?
00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:46.880
Is it real sugar or is it some of that aspartane stuff, right?
00:45:47.039 --> 00:45:49.360
Like, we now got all these damn questions.
00:45:49.760 --> 00:45:52.000
Like, how do we drink strawberry hill?
00:45:52.239 --> 00:45:55.440
I'm gonna need y'all to act like that moonshine.
00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:07.519
If y'all were drinking toilet wall, like if any of y'all went to them omega parties back in the day and you drank that omega party.
00:46:08.079 --> 00:46:09.280
What is an omega party?
00:46:09.360 --> 00:46:09.920
Oh my goodness.
00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:14.400
So Omega Sci-Fi is one of the uh fraternities that we have here.
00:46:14.559 --> 00:46:34.719
It's actually international now, but they so the omegas, when you're in college, you go to these omega and any frat party, like any of y'all that went to a frat party, it's it's it's a fraternity, and they had their special juice, and then the sigmas had their juice, and then you had like um the the PWI fraternities and sororities would have their things.
00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:41.199
So my point is any of y'all who went to college and drank anything in any of these places, I'm gonna need y'all to hush.
00:46:41.360 --> 00:46:46.719
Because right now we're sitting up here talking about is it alkaline filtered water?
00:46:47.119 --> 00:46:49.119
Only drink Fiji water.
00:46:49.679 --> 00:46:50.719
That has a little too much.
00:46:50.960 --> 00:46:52.559
I'm watching my thighs.
00:46:53.360 --> 00:46:53.920
I don't know.
00:46:54.239 --> 00:46:55.119
Like, what the heck?
00:46:55.199 --> 00:46:56.880
Are y'all serious right now?
00:46:57.440 --> 00:46:58.559
But yes, we are.
00:46:58.719 --> 00:47:02.960
We we have all the vitamins, the hormones, the oils, the ointments.
00:47:03.360 --> 00:47:08.880
Yeah, I mean, like now it's it's true though, because it's like I have to take magnesium to help me sleep.
00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:10.719
All these things are crazy.
00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:17.679
I just Carly, you had to start with the biofreeze, or in the old day, they used to call it the Ben Gay.
00:47:18.000 --> 00:47:24.639
Like the air back, and I'm like, I'm gonna wake up and put some biofreeze on it because it hurts so bad.
00:47:24.960 --> 00:47:27.440
Like nobody tells us these things.
00:47:27.679 --> 00:47:32.239
So no, when I wake up and my back hurts, I don't want to think about who's cooking breakfast.
00:47:32.400 --> 00:47:33.920
That needs to be on the schedule.
00:47:34.079 --> 00:47:37.280
Because if it is not my day, I'm not getting up.
00:47:37.599 --> 00:47:38.880
That's what I'm talking about.
00:47:39.599 --> 00:47:44.559
Hey, at least now, like you said, maybe you don't you you don't have to get up that day, right?
00:47:44.719 --> 00:47:45.039
Right.
00:47:47.039 --> 00:47:48.639
Yeah, but it's on the schedule.
00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:50.400
It's on the schedule.
00:47:50.639 --> 00:47:51.760
I I have to say this.
00:47:51.920 --> 00:47:56.639
I feel like it's one of those moments where you said, if it's not on the schedule, it's not happening.
00:47:56.960 --> 00:47:58.159
It's not happening.
00:47:59.039 --> 00:48:00.719
Girl, that is my coin.
00:48:00.880 --> 00:48:02.880
And so you literally will have kids.
00:48:03.039 --> 00:48:09.119
If my my 17-year-old is the worst daddy, he'll go put something on the schedule like 10 minutes before it is.
00:48:09.360 --> 00:48:10.639
So I had to get him one day.
00:48:10.719 --> 00:48:15.039
I was taking screenshots of the schedule because he's like, Mom, I put it on the schedule.
00:48:15.360 --> 00:48:16.239
Like, no, you didn't.
00:48:16.480 --> 00:48:21.360
It was there like this is the kind of fun you get to have when you have a tight schedule.
00:48:21.519 --> 00:48:26.239
Is now it's like, oh, so you think they're still gonna be teenagers, they're still gonna do stupid stuff.
00:48:26.880 --> 00:48:32.159
It's just now not gonna be unscheduled, which is so great.
00:48:32.320 --> 00:48:34.639
Oh my gosh, this conversation has been amazing.
00:48:34.719 --> 00:48:41.199
But yes, we will definitely have you on the show again to talk about closer to the date.
00:48:41.280 --> 00:48:46.079
Yeah, like even the webinar, and then we'll definitely have to talk about menopause for sure.
00:48:46.239 --> 00:48:47.679
There's so much to talk about.
00:48:47.920 --> 00:48:49.840
You are definitely what do they say?
00:48:50.079 --> 00:48:51.840
A force to be reckoned with.
00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:53.199
There we go, right?
00:48:53.519 --> 00:48:54.400
Yes, ma'am.
00:48:54.639 --> 00:48:56.320
Well, thank you for having me.
00:48:56.480 --> 00:48:59.360
It's been a girl, this has been an awesome conversation.
00:48:59.519 --> 00:49:03.599
This has definitely been a conversation I will not forget.
00:49:03.760 --> 00:49:05.280
And so remind us again.
00:49:05.440 --> 00:49:22.559
So the name of the organization where you help other families get organized is through the name of our nonprofit is um w and it's uh www.family legacy number five.com.
00:49:22.719 --> 00:49:33.119
That is our website, family legacy the number five.com, and that's for the five pillars of courageous family leadership, which is the name of our introductory online course.
00:49:33.199 --> 00:49:36.000
And it's just an intro to family leadership.
00:49:36.159 --> 00:49:41.440
And so if you want to join us for the webinar, please by all means go to the website, register.
00:49:41.519 --> 00:49:44.719
You could also find me on Facebook, on LinkedIn.
00:49:44.960 --> 00:49:49.920
I believe we are also on Twitter, I mean not Twitter, um, Instagram.
00:49:50.159 --> 00:50:11.599
And if all those fellows just come on over to the website, send me a message, and yes, uh, you may just get me replying to come and have a conversation about how we can best serve you, your organization, your community, and help just help us all be more intentional about our family leadership where we live, where we learn, and where we definitely.
00:50:11.760 --> 00:50:13.039
Thank you again, Dr.
00:50:13.280 --> 00:50:14.960
Shelly Jones Holt.
00:50:15.280 --> 00:50:18.880
Diva Tonight with Carlene will be back.
00:50:19.119 --> 00:50:24.400
Send us a message on Instagram at Diva underscore tonight.