Cognitive Reframing in Anxiety Disorders (Episode 176)

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So today we're going to take some of the most posit like common phrases that we hear in this community, and we're going to cognitively reframe them.
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Oh, I started spiraling.
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I'm afraid of spiraling.
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Reframe is just like just shift a little bit like to the left or right and just look at it in a different angle.
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So, you know, so you can see a little bit differently.
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You know, the reframe might be, well, I noticed that I want to do things that might fuel this spiral.
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Is it are you spiraling or are you just really afraid and trying to feel better?
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Reframe the situation to what the actual goal is is desensitizing.
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What if this happens is an attempt to find an answer that says it won't happen.
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But your brain has already decided it's going to happen, by the way.
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It's already decided.
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Too late.
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So I reframe what if to just tell me what it is you're afraid of.
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I've been resensitized, or I'm in a setback, or I'm back to square one, or are you just doing it again?
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Welcome to Disordered.
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This is episode 176, entitled Cognitively Reframing the Narrative.
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My name is Joshua Fletcher, also known as Anxiety Josh, and I'm a psychotherapist based in Manchester in the UK.
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Talk all things anxiety, had many, multiple anxiety disorders in the past.
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Uh live a content, happy life now.
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Uh, write books on it, yap about it, and uh really passionate about giving the right, correct, helpful advice for people struggling with anxiety.
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And I'm joined by my esteemed co-host.
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I'm Drew Linsolata.
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I am also a therapist that treats anxiety and anxiety disorders.
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Except I'm in New York.
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Also had multiple.
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I had more anxiety disorders than you.
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How many do you have?
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I had more than you.
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We're gonna just count our disorders today.
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Anyway, same thing.
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I've written books on this topic, clearly host of a co-host of this podcast.
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I also host The Anxious Truth.
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And yeah, so one of my most fun hours of the week was when we get to talk about this stuff.
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So cognitive reframing.
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This was your idea.
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So what are you thinking?
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I love a cognitive reframe straight from the CBT handbook.
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If anyone struggles with anxiety and stuff like that, find all the common things Craig the Critic might say, or what anxiety says about you.
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Is Craig with us today?
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He's always here.
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It's Craig the Critic.
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We have a studio audience and he's always in it.
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Yeah, he's there.
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And often people with anxiety, they see anxiety or they get triggered, and the symptoms come and it gets in the way of what you know of life and whole how they'd experience it if they weren't anxious, and then that suddenly is a bad thing.
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But in this community, we're in a sensitized state, and our aim is to desensitize from anxiety and some of the thoughts, the symptoms, and the uncertainty it throws at you.
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So today we're going to take some of the most positive common phrases that we hear in this community, and we're going to cognitively reframe them.
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If you would like to take a pen and paper, and uh and if any apply to you, then you know we can do that.
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You know, it's not just me and Drew talking about oh, this is how you get better.
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No, it's like, yeah, let's do some actionable stuff.
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I love a cognitive reframe.
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Uh, my first one is, and we'll just start.
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Do you want to just do a back and forth like the Williams sisters?
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Absolutely.
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The Williams sisters, yeah, let's do it.
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Bag Z Venus.
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Uh, and um do a back and forth.
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Uh, I'll start with the most common phrase.
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And if anyone in the studio audience uh wants to pop in with the most common phrases that their anxiety throws at you, then yeah, we might read them out.
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Uh okay.
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The first one is Oh, I started spiraling.
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I'm afraid of spiraling.
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Uh what how would you reframe that, Drew?
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To not change it, but just to reframe it so it kind of empowers the person instead.
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I might reframe, and a reframe is just like just shift a little bit like to the left or right and just look at it in a different angle.
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So, you know, so you can see a little bit differently.
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So I'm afraid of spiraling.
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I would probably say, you know, can I reframe that as like I'm really uncomfortable right now, and and that makes me scared.
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And that would be my reframe, right?
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Yeah, one of my favorites is yeah, some spirals go up, or spiral like, um, yeah, now you can learn.
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Here's an opportunity to teach yourself that you can cope with spirals.
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Yeah, because when you think, oh, uh lots of people with anxiety think, oh, I'm really triggered and it gets to the point where I'll lose control.
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No, you can learn that even while I'm spiraling, I can cope, I can tolerate it.
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So the word spiral suggests to your brain, oh, I'm not in control, but you're not, you know, people often pay for the waltzers, you know, to do that.
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Do you have waltzers in the US or is it a UK thing?
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Oh, it doesn't sound familiar.
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Is that the name of a retail establishment?
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Fairground, it's a fairground ride where you sit in a giant cup and they spin you around, then that spins around, and there's really loud music, and it has the you know, health and safety record of a roller coaster built out of melting chocolate.
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Um, but but yeah, no, it's great.
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Uh yeah, you can learn to spiral.
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What a great way to reframe it.
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What would you say?
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Um, yeah, I would think in that situation, the spiral is, you know, the reframe might be, well, I I noticed that I want to do things that might fuel this spiral.
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You know, can you notice that you want to do a bunch of stuff that thrashes against the experience?
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Like, is it are you spiraling or are you just really afraid and trying to feel better?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, it's a spiral.
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What about a common phrase that you hear?
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Um, well, I'm gonna go right to the number one.
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Like, we would normally do like the top 40 and end with number one.
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I think the number one, because it's in our our studio audience, is what if?
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What if and insert whatever?
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I don't care what it is, what if?
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And how might you frame a what if thought?
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Yeah.
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And it's what a what if a good thing happens or what if a bad thing happens?
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What if anything?
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What if anything happens, really?
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Like, what if it's you know, what if I uh what if I actually go insane?
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What if this actually makes me insane?
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Yeah, what okay, so so what if this makes me insane?
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Because we don't want to conflate it with there was this it's really annoying being a therapist on um social media because there are people who aren't therapists on social media that pretend they are, like Mel Robbins.
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And there was a really uh well-watched video called The Five Words to Defeat Anxiety, and she says, What if it all works out?
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I'm like, wow, oh my god.
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You know, I've got to 37 years old, and I never really thought my rational cognitive brain just needed Mel Robbins to tell me what if it all works out alongside a protein supplement she's probably selling.
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Uh, there we go.
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Thank you, Mel.
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Uh, what if it all works out?
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But to the credit, it is an example of a cognitive reframe.
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So, in in this community, it's like, okay, what if the bad thing happens?
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What if I have a heart attack?
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Whatever.
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But to reframe that, it's what if it doesn't happen?
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And here's an opportunity for me to practice uncertainty.
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I feel uncertain right now, and I've probably had this thought a thousand times before.
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The likelihood is it's not gonna happen.
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So I'm gonna try and see how well I deal with uncertainty.
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Yeah, you can reframe the situation to what the actual goal is is desensitizing.
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Or we can subscribe to the narrative of I've completely over anxiety when I have no symptoms, no scary thoughts, no no, it's about you practicing when you are uncertain.
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Yeah.
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My my what if I have one what if reframe.
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I'm a one-trick prony when it comes to what if.
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Because I I'm not a fan of the whole like, well, what if a good thing happens?
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Well, what if, you know, or what if I crash and burn?
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Oh, but dear, what if you fly?
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Like you're an anxious mind isn't interested in the good part.
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So when somebody says to me, what if, I I offer the reframe, well, just tell me what you're afraid of.
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Like, what if uh what if I have a psychotic break?
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Okay, well, just well, tell me what you're afraid of.
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Well, I'm afraid to have a psychotic break.
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Okay, so that's it.
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Just say that.
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You don't have to ask what if, because then you'll try to answer it.
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So I try to take the what if question and reframe it as a statement.
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I fear that.
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And then from there we can move on to like, oh, we're not gonna try to answer the question because you you what if this happens is an attempt to find an answer that says it won't happen.
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But your brain has already decided it's gonna happen, by the way.
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It's already decided too late.
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It's the elephant and the rider thing, right?
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From the that book.
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Yeah.
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And I think so I reframe what if to just tell me what it is you're afraid of.
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Oh, I'm afraid of forgetting my kids, or I'm afraid that I accidentally cheated on my partner, or I'm afraid of self-harm.
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Okay, and and now what does that make you want to do?
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Oh, it makes me want to like be sure that it won't happen.
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Okay, now we're getting somewhere.
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So yeah, yeah, it's the after.
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Yeah, just frame it as what I'm a skate of.
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What I'm afraid of.
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Listen, a skate of.
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I just made a word.
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Someone in the audience said one of my favorite reframes came from Drew.
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Oh no to oh well.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, that's true.
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Oh, oh well, oh well.
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Oh dang.
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Very wholesome.
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Oh, darn it.
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Uh, you know, another one that we tend to use around here, it's the you know, oh well to oh, yeah, it's oh god to oh well.
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That is true.
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But uh one thing that we've been starting to use around here a little bit more in the community is I'm doing it again.
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So when people say I've been resensitized, I might offer, I've been resensitized, or I'm in a setback, or I'm back to square one, I offer, or are you just doing it again?
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And I'm like, what do you mean I'm doing it again?
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Am I are you blaming me?
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Are you victim?
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No, no, no, no.
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What I mean by that is what does it mean to be resensitized or back to square one or in a setback?
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It means you just decided that the old way, the fighting, the thrashing, the running, the avoiding, the compulsing was was the right way again because you got scared enough to choose that.
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Oh, yeah, I'm doing it again.
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Okay, cool.
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So what do we do now?
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Yeah, here's one from the community.
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What if I lose progress if I get really scared for an extended period of time?
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Oh, that's a common one.
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What if I lose progress?
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What is progress?
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Reframe what progress is.
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That's it.
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Yeah, if you're judging progress on going a long time without being anxious, you're not using the correct mark scheme.
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The reframe for that is it's not what if I lose progress and get really scared for an extended period of time.
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It's how how good am I at bouncing back when I get scared?
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Yeah, exactly.
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That's the reframe there.
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The reframe is a good reframe.
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You can have that one for free.
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Absolutely.
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There we go.
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I hope you guys have your notepads and you're taking notes.
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Or a number two pencil.
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Does anybody ever do we need number two pencils anymore?
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It used to be a thing.
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What's that?
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Yeah, you take a test, you fill in the bubbles, and then that's how they score the test.
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No, I don't remember that.
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Wow, okay.
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It's really difficult.
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Um, yeah, so anyway, uh, yeah, that that's a good one.
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I like it.
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Like it uh reframe how you the reframe on what if I but what if it comes back, or what if I have a setback, or what if I lose all my progress is well, yeah, tell me, tell me what that means.
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What does progress mean?
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So uh I love that.
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Here's one of my favorite ones.
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Favorite uh what if in the chat is what if I wake up tomorrow and I look like Henry Cavill?
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Thoughts my anxious mind never has.
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Hey, if it happens, then you know I'm gonna go for some casting calls or something, but definitely.
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But yeah, I get it.
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Yeah, yeah, this is one of those, and it's always reframe what it is, but also it's not just about the anxiety.
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Think about the life isn't all about anxiety disorder.
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So here's a challenge for you, Drew.
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What if I'm a burden to my family?
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How could you reframe that?
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Well, I would what if my anxiety feels make me what if my anxiety means I'm a burden to my family?
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Yeah, I think I would offer a reframe, it depends on what the person has been going through and how what I know about them, but one of them might be, well, you know, let's let's let's look at this from a different angle.
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What would make what would make you see yourself as a burden?
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Why would you draw that conclusion about yourself?
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Because otherwise the reframe is no, no, I am a burden if I'm anxious and that's it.
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It's just a statement of fact.
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So the reframe for me is something makes you feel that way.
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What is it?
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That's one yeah.
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Me being anxious is burdening my family.
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And my reframe is I'm currently anxious and I'm trying to get better for my family.
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Same thing.
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Love it.
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Both truth.
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Sure.
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It's just a reframe.
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Yeah, you're coming at it from a slightly different angle.
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It's like taking a selfie, but from the belly button height.
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No one likes those pictures.
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So you just move the selfie up in the perfect light, it's hiding your chin and neck, and suddenly you look like Henry Cavill.
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It's the same thing, it's not changing your face, it's not changing what's happening, it's just offering a different perspective.
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But semantics are so powerful, yeah.
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You know, yeah, I am struggling at the moment, but I'm trying.
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It's also truth.
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Or you could go with the Craig the Critic truth.
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That's his opinion of what's happening, but then the cognitive reframe is how can I take this really pervasive um barrier to being nice to myself?
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We bang on about compassion, and people are like, How do I be compassionate?
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This is a good way to do it.
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Yeah, find all those critic things and just do a subtle reframe.
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Write them down if you have to.
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Yeah, you know, like, oh, I'm doing this, I'm useless.
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No, I'm trying.
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Same thing.
00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:50.159
I'm trying to be better.
00:12:50.240 --> 00:12:52.399
I'm trying to what what a lovely thing to do.
00:12:52.480 --> 00:12:54.639
And it's less definitive because nothing is definitive.
00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:55.840
Well, humans are always changing.
00:12:55.919 --> 00:12:56.480
Oh, shut up.
00:12:56.720 --> 00:12:57.440
No, you're you're right.
00:12:57.519 --> 00:12:58.559
Well, humans are always changing.
00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:00.320
Somebody said, Well, what if nothing ever changes?
00:13:00.399 --> 00:13:04.240
You know, so a lot of the folks in the chat are are are throwing out what if questions.
00:13:04.480 --> 00:13:09.039
And the reframe again is just like, okay, well, some things don't change, but most things do change.
00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:14.879
Like, uh, I might often I use, you know, my it's interesting now that we're having this conversation, my reframes are just often challenges.
00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:16.480
I'll just ask you to restate the question.
00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:21.360
I won't give you the reframe, I will challenge you to redefine it so that you find your own reframe.
00:13:21.440 --> 00:13:22.960
I didn't even know I was doing that until just now.
00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:25.919
Like, okay, well, give give me an example of something that has never changed.
00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:28.720
Can you give me something that has never changed in your life ever?
00:13:29.600 --> 00:13:30.080
Yeah.
00:13:31.039 --> 00:13:40.159
The most powerful reframe, one of my favorites in this community, is I went to the family barbecue and I was anxious.
00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:46.639
My favorite reframe, and all of what I do is I went to the barbecue despite being anxious.
00:13:46.799 --> 00:13:47.759
Yeah, that's a good one too.
00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:48.720
That's a good one too.
00:13:48.879 --> 00:13:50.879
I went to the barbecue with anxiety.
00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:53.279
Oh yeah, I like that.
00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:56.240
You went to the barbecue and you got anxious.
00:13:56.720 --> 00:13:57.840
Craig the critic.
00:13:58.080 --> 00:14:00.720
I went to the barbecue despite feeling anxious.
00:14:01.039 --> 00:14:02.159
I'm desensitizing.
00:14:02.480 --> 00:14:02.720
Yeah.
00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:04.960
Soap, same fact.
00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:07.600
Just different way of looking at it.
00:14:07.679 --> 00:14:09.360
That's where we get all therapy and stuff.
00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:11.919
That's where those online grifters and coaches kind of do it.
00:14:12.879 --> 00:14:14.879
Following my 12-step program.
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:27.279
And I think one of the things that's interesting, I think, and then I want to do an audio did it anyway, because I got one queued up, but I one of the things that happens with cognitive reframing is, and I always find this interesting.
00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:28.399
We talked about it before.
00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:39.519
A lot of therapists who even understand that the sort of stuff that we do, it really is the most effective way to deal with an anxiety disorder, won't do it because it makes them uncomfortable to you know make people uncomfortable.
00:14:39.679 --> 00:14:41.759
We're encouraging people to intentionally be uncomfortable.
00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:42.799
Many therapists don't want to do that.
00:14:42.879 --> 00:14:43.200
That's fine.
00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:44.000
You don't have to do that.
00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:44.799
We'll do it.
00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:48.960
But they will fall back on this technique, the cognitive reframe.
00:14:49.039 --> 00:14:58.159
They will they invariably in the counseling research, we see, well, I will always want to fall back to do things like cognitive reframing or challenging their thoughts and doing thought records like old school CBT.
00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:01.600
So cognitive reframing is really cool, but you see how we're using it?
00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:09.440
Never to change your thought into something different, only to look at the thought from a different angle that doesn't have the negative catastrophic bias.
00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:11.440
Always what's the compassion?
00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:11.919
Yes.
00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:14.799
How can you see this through compassion?
00:15:15.279 --> 00:15:16.240
Yeah, I agree.
00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:17.440
I I agree, right?
00:15:17.600 --> 00:15:23.519
So no one in this community will look at someone else who's having a panic attack and go, You're pathetic, you're a burden.
00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:24.080
That's true.
00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:27.440
And yet for some reason, when it happens to them, it's like, oh no.
00:15:27.600 --> 00:15:30.559
Yeah, the way I see it is definitely the object truth.
00:15:30.799 --> 00:15:32.960
If it happens to me, the rules change.
00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:36.320
No, you're just seeing things through the wrong lens.
00:15:36.559 --> 00:15:42.399
So a cognitive refrain in this community is actually to do with compassion to do the tricky thing.
00:15:42.639 --> 00:15:49.519
It's nothing to do with getting rid of a feeling, it's to build momentum, it's to keep it going, it's to do all those things, you know.
00:15:49.679 --> 00:15:51.840
Um, otherwise, you won't get momentum.
00:15:51.919 --> 00:15:57.200
You'll go out, you have a panic attack in the park, an adrenaline rush, which was the homework.
00:15:57.360 --> 00:15:57.759
Yep.
00:15:57.919 --> 00:16:00.240
And you're like, no, I'm still panicking, I'm failing.
00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:00.559
Right.
00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:05.600
No, I went to the park and a reframe and I managed to practice with panic.
00:16:05.679 --> 00:16:05.919
Yeah.
00:16:06.159 --> 00:16:06.480
Good.
00:16:06.559 --> 00:16:07.600
I'm gonna do it again.
00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:14.480
Someone in the uh in the audience, sorry, do you someone in the audience said yesterday I had what I'm assuming a panic attack while on the treadmill.
00:16:14.559 --> 00:16:18.159
My heart went from 120 to 170, so naturally started to panic.
00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:19.759
Came back down after 20 minutes.
00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:22.080
My work, my worst fear is heart related.
00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:24.960
Today we get back on the treadmill and do it anyway.
00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:25.360
Love that.
00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:33.840
And you know, I think that would kind of if you want to put a reframe into that for this person who did that, along the path to that moment where I'm getting back on the treadmill.
00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:35.519
I didn't get off, I finished, blah, blah, blah.
00:16:35.919 --> 00:16:40.399
Is oh my god, I got on the treadmill and my heart rate went up to 170 and it was terrible.
00:16:40.639 --> 00:16:47.919
Or the reframe would be you were on the treadmill doing something scary and you encountered a very scary thing and you bravely saw it through.
00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:54.320
It's the same exact thing, except we want to look at it from this way, and that will maybe get you on the treadmill to do it again tomorrow.
00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:57.360
If you if you land on the first one, then you ain't get back on the treadmill.
00:16:57.519 --> 00:17:01.200
You're you're you're telling it, you're you're putting your clothes over it, and it's just a hanger.
00:17:01.279 --> 00:17:11.759
So Yeah, well, it sounds like one of the most famous, not favorite the most popular things that the clients said to me over the years is well, it sounds better when you say it.
00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:14.079
Well, you start saying it.
00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:15.599
That's a hundred percent true.
00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:16.960
Like, okay, then borrow my words.
00:17:17.039 --> 00:17:18.079
Say it the way you might say it.
00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:19.039
Like, experiment with that.
00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:20.799
It's okay, you're allowed to do that, you know.
00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:22.559
So the way you say it sucks.
00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:23.200
It isn't working.
00:17:23.279 --> 00:17:27.599
Well, you can't drill sergeant your way out of something that requires compassion.
00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:29.200
Yeah, um, here's another one.
00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:30.640
This is one of my ones, this one.
00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:32.799
My favorite reframe is panic attack.
00:17:32.880 --> 00:17:34.319
No, adrenaline rush.
00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:34.720
Yes.
00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:35.119
Sure.
00:17:35.279 --> 00:17:35.920
That's exactly right.
00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:36.240
I love it.
00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:36.720
I love it.
00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:40.799
The person who got playing on the treadmill says, I'm now taking my towels off my treadmill.
00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:41.680
Yeah, I know.
00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:44.240
We all have a treadmill that has the clothing draped over it.
00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:44.880
We get it.
00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:47.200
So uh how about we hear from the community?
00:17:47.359 --> 00:17:50.000
We have a pretty cool, like, health anxiety-related did it anyway.
00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:51.119
So let's hear it.
00:17:52.319 --> 00:17:56.640
Hi, my name is Caitlin, and I wanted to share a I did it anyway.
00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:03.839
Uh, I'm someone who suffers really badly from health anxiety, um, and at times can be quite debilitating.
00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:09.359
Uh recently, in the last four months, I've been suffering really badly from migraines.
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:16.319
Um, going back to the doctor over and over, being given medication, and not taking the medication.
00:18:16.799 --> 00:18:25.759
Um, because something I really struggle with is the fear of having an allergic reaction or a terrible side effect from a med medication.
00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:33.920
But uh that is also from reading Reddit over and over and over for hours, and I'm sure lots of people do the same.
00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:46.960
But I'm proud to say that I did take one of my tablets, um the one that that I had been reading about for hours, um, people saying you know it ruined their lives, killed their whole family, etc.
00:18:47.599 --> 00:18:52.319
And I didn't have any bad side effects, and actually it helped.
00:18:52.720 --> 00:19:02.559
So I think this is just a reminder to those who also fear medication to stop Googling it, stop going on Reddit.
00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:10.480
Um I have deleted the app from my phone and I'm genuinely just going to try and be cold turkey for as much as I can.
00:19:10.880 --> 00:19:20.799
Um it can be very difficult to have health anxiety and also real physical illness at the same time, but I'm just trying to sit with the uncertainty.
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:28.880
I don't know if it is migraine or if it's gonna kill me, um, but what is the point in thinking about it every second of every day?
00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:34.400
So uh this is just a shout-out to those who are also suffering from the same thing.
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:36.319
Um, get off of Reddit.
00:19:36.640 --> 00:19:37.839
Thank you for time.
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:38.960
Bye.
00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:40.880
It's really good.
00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:43.119
Reddit, man.
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:49.759
Yeah, Reddit, Reddit and AI are not anxiety disorders first.
00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:53.039
Reddit was was a hole I used to go down quite a lot.
00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:55.680
Um, but that was a good did it anyway, wasn't it?
00:19:55.759 --> 00:19:56.160
I love that.
00:19:56.240 --> 00:19:58.640
It's scary doing something new, all that uncertainty.
00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:04.319
I know, loved it, and like I read about it for hours, and everybody said it ruined their life and killed their whole family.
00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:05.279
Like, I don't know.
00:20:05.359 --> 00:20:09.039
I took this this migraine medication in California, broke off into the Pacific Ocean.
00:20:09.119 --> 00:20:11.039
So uh terrible.
00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:12.240
That stuff should be illegal.
00:20:12.400 --> 00:20:13.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:20:13.359 --> 00:20:15.200
Yeah, no, absolutely.
00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:18.000
Um, really good visit, and thanks for sharing that.
00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:19.359
There's a reframe on that one, by the way.
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:20.799
I'm gonna point out a reframe.
00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:23.200
She said, Yeah, maybe this'll kill me.
00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:23.680
Okay.
00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:24.960
That I I get it.
00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:28.720
Health anxiety is you're a little bit fixated on something terrible will happen.
00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:32.319
But what's the point of thinking about it every minute of every day?
00:20:32.559 --> 00:20:33.359
Ah, love it.
00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:35.680
Yeah, I'm really scared for my health all the time.
00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:40.400
But also, there might be no point in in making that the most important thing in the room all the time.
00:20:40.480 --> 00:20:41.680
There's your reframe.
00:20:42.160 --> 00:20:49.039
Do you think there's a coincidence that we've never had a did it anyway from an estate agent or someone trying to sell a house?
00:20:49.519 --> 00:20:52.960
The realtors and stuff like that, because they're so good at reframes.
00:20:53.279 --> 00:21:00.000
Oh, you know, it's just like you know, that they're trying to this bathroom, the toilets on the wall, you can't even fit in there.
00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:01.920
And they're like, it's cozy.
00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:06.960
Is it true that a family of eight was brutally slaughtered in here?
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:08.720
Well, it's full of local color and history.
00:21:09.039 --> 00:21:09.920
It's history.
00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:18.240
Yeah, yeah, it's like it's uh the kitchen's like half the walls burnt and there's rust everywhere.
00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:18.960
It's rustic.
00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:19.680
It's rustic.
00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:21.279
It's authentic.
00:21:21.359 --> 00:21:23.920
It's a this sort of authentic space to live your life in.
00:21:24.079 --> 00:21:26.640
So yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:28.160
Become a mistake agent.
00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:29.200
They would be the best thing.
00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:34.400
I love it, man.
00:21:35.119 --> 00:21:36.000
Really good.
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:38.000
Um, I like this.
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.799
It's hard to get to the point where a panic attack is from the audience.
00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:46.559
It's hard to get to the point where a panic attack is reframe is reframed as an opportunity to practice willful tolerance and rewire.
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:47.759
Yeah, I mean, it's hard.
00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:52.079
Yeah, but that's the important reminder for me when I'm tempted to resort back to old behaviors and avoids.
00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:52.880
Very good.
00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:55.920
And that is exactly the audience member, is what I did.
00:21:56.079 --> 00:21:56.240
Yeah.
00:21:56.400 --> 00:22:00.640
Like sometimes you get to the stage where you get bigger windows and you feel like Yourself.
00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:06.000
You know, and you often hear this like on forums in the community, like, I'm 90% recovered.
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:07.920
No, that's why I don't use the word recovery.
00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:10.799
And like, I'm having bigger windows where I don't feel sensitized.
00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:12.240
Great, it's cool.
00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:16.000
But you might get, odds are, you might get an adrenaline rusher or panic again.
00:22:16.319 --> 00:22:20.160
You know, uh, I do probably maybe once a year.
00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:23.279
I'll get an adrenaline rusher, I don't know, old pathways, whatever.
00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:24.079
Yeah.
00:22:24.400 --> 00:22:32.960
Uh, but even then, audience member, I would be like, ooh, you know, let's let's let's dust off the jacket and see how that willful tolerance gets on, you know.
00:22:33.039 --> 00:22:42.000
Like it's not, oh no, it's back, I've got wrong, or I still use that old reframe, like, okay, let's let's see if I can practice my willful tolerance.
00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:44.480
Now it feels harder because I'm out of practice.
00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:45.519
Nah, it's fine.
00:22:45.839 --> 00:22:46.559
Crap on with it.
00:22:46.799 --> 00:22:48.799
I think there's a reframe before that reframe.
00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:53.599
For me, it's like I knew I I have to acknowledge, I knew this was gonna happen at some point.
00:22:53.839 --> 00:22:55.119
Like, I know it's gonna happen.
00:22:55.200 --> 00:22:59.359
So, like, oh no, I was doing so great, and then you know, I had a really hard day.
00:22:59.519 --> 00:23:03.680
Okay, and and you know, can you consider the possibility that you had a hard day?
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:14.079
Because everybody has a hard day sometimes, like even the people with the expensive microphones and the cameras that have the anxiety podcast are gonna have a hard day and get hooked by the old shit for a couple of minutes or an hour.
00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:16.240
And okay, I knew that was gonna happen.
00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:18.799
And now I get to practice again my old stuff.
00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:22.319
So do you remember when we were playing Satisfactory online?
00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:23.920
We're playing a co-op game, yeah.
00:23:24.400 --> 00:23:27.920
And you were like, Oh my god, I feel I feel like I'm having an adrenaline rush.
00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:34.799
And then what what was my response to legitimately the worst reframe in the history of the universe?
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:36.400
I said, I think I'm having a panic attack.
00:23:36.480 --> 00:23:40.960
And Josh immediately said, Is it possible that you should just believe every thought your mind makes right now?
00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:47.359
Like that was the biggest all those thoughts are real, all those thoughts are realings of warnings you are about to die.
00:23:49.119 --> 00:23:51.279
Wow, that was the worst reframe ever.
00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:52.240
Just saying.
00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:53.759
I don't do that in my practice, bro.
00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:56.400
No, he reserves it for his friends for sure.
00:23:57.039 --> 00:23:58.160
It was uh it was a thing.
00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:02.319
It's somebody who just said she found out about this podcast on Reddit while searching anxiety.
00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:04.319
All right, well, maybe Reddit ain't so bad.
00:24:07.119 --> 00:24:08.079
Yep, the reframe.
00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:10.319
Uh uh would you like another did it anyway?
00:24:10.559 --> 00:24:11.920
Sure, let's hear it.
00:24:13.359 --> 00:24:14.960
Okay, here we go.
00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:20.640
Um I don't think they've given permission to use their name, but it's lovely.
00:24:20.799 --> 00:24:25.920
Um I've had general anxiety that turned into health anxiety off and on since high school.
00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:27.680
Currently I'm 68.
00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:31.759
Sometimes I've gone years with nothing more than typical anxious moments.
00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:34.240
Other times it goes on for weeks or months.
00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:35.920
No panic tactile.
00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:47.359
I have a wonderful therapist who has helped with many other things along with tracking down the roots of some other anxiety, but not in managing the anxiety, health anxiety itself.
00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:53.839
Health anxiety usually comes after something happens around me or to me, and I see it and I know it.
00:24:54.079 --> 00:24:57.839
No one around me other than my husband knows or would even guess.
00:24:58.000 --> 00:25:00.559
On the outside, I am calm and collected.
00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:05.359
When these periods happen, it goes on for weeks under the cool exterior.
00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:08.480
It always has always been better when I am at work.
00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:18.480
I've worked with profoundly autistic, seriously, um uh kids with behavioral issues and adults for decades, and I kind of lose myself in my in my work with them.
00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:21.759
Right now, I'm headed towards eventual retirement.
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:28.000
What I am saying is that I've done a version of a did it anyway because it seemed like the only choice.
00:25:28.319 --> 00:25:35.680
What I have learned from your podcasts and books is to do it anyway with intention, and it has made all the difference.
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:41.279
Ironically, I teach mindfulness in yoga with intentional doing it anyway.
00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:47.200
It dissolves in a much shorter time, and the confidence that gives is life-changing.
00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:49.119
Thank you so much for all that you do.
00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:50.480
Oh, I love it.
00:25:53.759 --> 00:25:55.599
It's really nice that one as well.
00:25:55.680 --> 00:26:00.400
And you could you can factor in kind of some anxiety, disorder-informed mindfulness in yoga.
00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:01.039
Oh, yeah.
00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:02.160
Oh, absolutely.
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:02.559
Yeah.
00:26:02.799 --> 00:26:05.039
I mean, that's that's what yoga actually is.
00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:07.359
Like just paying attention moment by moment.
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:08.559
That that's it.
00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:09.200
Yeah.
00:26:09.440 --> 00:26:10.720
I love the intention.
00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:13.440
Like doing it anyway with intention.
00:26:13.599 --> 00:26:15.359
Yeah, probably one of the most important.
00:26:15.440 --> 00:26:16.880
There's a reframe for you right there.
00:26:17.039 --> 00:26:18.079
Like, oh, do it anyway.
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:20.720
You know, well, oh, I I do it anyway, but nothing is changing.
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:23.519
Well, are are you doing it anyway with intention?
00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:25.759
Like, what's your intention when you do it anyway?
00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:26.880
Oh, yeah.
00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:32.160
Is it possible that you're doing it anyway, but also just trying to push through it until you get done with doing it anyway?
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:33.119
Yeah, yeah.
00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:34.960
Really good, really good one though.
00:26:35.680 --> 00:26:36.720
Here's another reframe.
00:26:36.880 --> 00:26:37.359
Yeah.
00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:42.160
Um why is this happening to me?
00:26:42.400 --> 00:26:44.640
You know, why did this have to happen to me?
00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:46.559
Why did this have to happen to me?
00:26:46.960 --> 00:26:48.640
I something I used to say a lot.
00:26:49.200 --> 00:27:01.200
And now I'm like, I'm glad that happened to me so I could learn about myself and all the things that have happened as a result of it has made me a more grounded, mature, and happier person.
00:27:01.359 --> 00:27:01.440
Yeah.
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:02.640
Genuinely sold up.
00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:05.440
And there's some people that listen to that, be like, shut up, Josh.
00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:11.440
Smug, you don't know, but waking up with intrusive thoughts and panicking in the car, and you know you smug kid.
00:27:11.759 --> 00:27:14.160
But in general, yeah, uh looking back, yeah, I'm glad it happened.
00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:15.759
Yeah, it's a retroactive reframe.
00:27:16.079 --> 00:27:20.319
You know, in in that situation, it might be the yeah, yeah, I'm glad that it happened.
00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:20.880
Yeah, maybe.
00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:23.039
Or like also, well, you're just really scared right now.
00:27:23.119 --> 00:27:24.559
Is it possible you're just really scared right now?
00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:26.240
And like and you're just trying to feel safer.
00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:26.960
Okay, cool.
00:27:27.039 --> 00:27:28.799
Both things can be true at the same time, you know.
00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:33.039
Somebody in the audience said, Either I'm bad at reframing or I don't believe my reframing.
00:27:33.200 --> 00:27:44.240
I think that's a really great, I mean it's a little bit of a joke, but if you don't believe your reframe, it might be because your reframe is trying to prove the original thought wrong.
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:47.680
Like, oh, clearly I'm failing and I'm never gonna get better.
00:27:47.759 --> 00:27:51.440
And your reframe is, oh, but it's fine, everything's gonna be fine, uh, and I'm gonna be great.
00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:54.000
Yeah, yeah, you don't definitely do not believe that in that moment.
00:27:54.319 --> 00:27:59.119
I think a reframe is so important to take into account the fact that you your mind does not believe it.
00:27:59.279 --> 00:28:05.920
You can't the reframe is not arguing against, it's not presenting the the 180-degree opposite truth that won't work.
00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:09.839
So yeah, yeah, no, of course, of course, of course.
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:10.480
Yeah, cool.
00:28:10.640 --> 00:28:13.839
Think and think of another reframe while I we got a question.
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:14.880
Would you like the question?
00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:16.319
We could do the question if you want.
00:28:16.480 --> 00:28:20.160
I mean, I'm going through the chat here to see, you know, what other people are looking for.
00:28:20.240 --> 00:28:22.000
Like, what would they try to reframe?
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:30.000
Um, well, you know, let me offer one quick reframe because there's a person who's talking about like, you know, how am I supposed to do this really scary thing that's coming up?
00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:32.559
Like, how do I use this process to do a scary thing?
00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:35.119
The process is doing the scary thing.
00:28:35.359 --> 00:28:38.000
So the reframe is that the process, that's right.
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:42.000
The reframe is I I have to use this process so I can do a scary thing.
00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:45.440
I know that's the process is doing a scary thing.
00:28:45.839 --> 00:28:49.519
So it's not how do I how do I knock down the fear so I could do this thing?
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:53.519
It's oh, am I willing to go and do the thing while I'm while I'm afraid?
00:28:53.599 --> 00:28:54.559
That's my goal here.
00:28:54.640 --> 00:29:00.880
So yeah, little subtle ones like how do I do surrender and willful tolerance?
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:05.920
Yeah, how do I practice surrender and willful tolerance?
00:29:06.160 --> 00:29:13.680
I am practicing the sense that it's not don't technique if I go for the tech how what's the one technique that makes all the feelings go away and I get really good at it?
00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:16.240
No, it's just how am I practicing that?
00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:20.799
How here's an opportunity to practice that's one of the most common reframes I've used.
00:29:20.960 --> 00:29:22.559
Here's an opportunity to practice.
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:23.359
Remember that.
00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:26.960
If you're anxious and you forget all this, just here's an opportunity to practice.
00:29:27.200 --> 00:29:27.519
Absolutely.
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:33.200
And then the the but the the pushback is, and I'll I'll I'll generetize it here so we don't out anybody.
00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:35.519
But so the person says, Yeah, but how do I practice?
00:29:35.759 --> 00:29:37.279
Insert the event coming up, right?
00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:38.160
And we hear it all the time.
00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:39.440
Yeah, but how do you practice a flight?
00:29:39.519 --> 00:29:40.720
Yeah, but how do you practice a wedding?
00:29:40.799 --> 00:29:41.839
Yeah, but how do you practice surgery?
00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:43.680
Yeah, but how do you practice a dentist appointment?
00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:50.160
It's not the surgery, it's the fact that you are so scared and think you can't handle your own fear.
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:51.839
That's the the surgery.
00:29:52.160 --> 00:29:55.039
The reframe on that is like the surgery is just a trigger.
00:29:55.119 --> 00:30:01.440
Is it possible that surgery is just a trigger for this internal state that you have declared unhandleable in your life?
00:30:01.680 --> 00:30:04.319
So that's what we're we're trying to switch that way, right?
00:30:05.119 --> 00:30:05.599
Yeah.
00:30:05.839 --> 00:30:08.079
Um, yeah, absolutely.
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:10.240
Um, very good.
00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:12.000
Uh here let me read this question.
00:30:12.160 --> 00:30:12.559
How was it?
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:14.079
Um, hi Josh and Drew.
00:30:14.319 --> 00:30:15.920
First, I just want to say thank you for the podcast.
00:30:16.079 --> 00:30:19.440
Found it really helpful and supportive, especially it's been a difficult year with anxiety.
00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:25.839
I wonder if you could help me find out about the difference between anxiety and being a highly sensitive person, HSP.
00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:36.400
I came across HSP a while ago, Elaine are on, and I and although I know there are questions around how scientifically supported the concept is, yeah, I certainly am.
00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:41.680
Certainly, certainly are questions around that, it really resonated with me.
00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:44.240
I've always thought of myself as quite a sensitive person.
00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:45.200
Me too, Elaine.
00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:48.960
I'm really sensitive, but I don't think I've always been particularly anxious.
00:30:49.119 --> 00:30:52.960
What I struggle with now is working out where the line is between the two.
00:30:53.279 --> 00:30:58.799
Uh, I feel like I naturally process things quite deeply and take time to make decisions by looking at all options.
00:30:58.960 --> 00:31:05.839
Well, it sounds like you're very um intelligent and can notice things others might not and have a high level of empathy.
00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:08.160
Well, yeah, emotionally intelligent too.
00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:13.279
But when my anxiety is high, how do I know that that's just my natural way of processing things?
00:31:13.440 --> 00:31:17.200
And when it's actually turned into rumination or anxious overthinking?
00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:22.079
How do I distinguish between a personality trait or temperament that's always been there?
00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:24.480
You know, uh, where it's reflective, sensitive.
00:31:24.559 --> 00:31:27.920
So this is the the question's already going for how can I be certain?
00:31:28.079 --> 00:31:28.240
Yeah.
00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:34.240
Uh I've always been sensitive, but I don't feel like I've always been anxious.
00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:36.079
But have you noticed here?
00:31:37.039 --> 00:31:39.680
Um definitely here.
00:31:39.839 --> 00:31:46.079
Have you noticed with this question is that your anxiety will always want you to be special and it wants your attention?
00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:50.640
So, oh okay, well, I'd listen to the podcast, but maybe maybe I'm different.
00:31:50.799 --> 00:31:51.039
Yeah.
00:31:51.279 --> 00:31:52.240
Maybe I'm different.
00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:56.960
Also, I did a little Google of symptoms of um a HSP.
00:31:57.119 --> 00:32:06.880
Uh, this isn't to degrade the question, it's just to show you um that anyone can write a book and sell loads of resonance cells.
00:32:07.039 --> 00:32:09.200
Uh, yeah, we did, yeah, we did.
00:32:09.359 --> 00:32:16.480
Uh here's some symptoms of a HSP sensory overload, easily startled, crowd aversion, and physical sensitivity.
00:32:16.559 --> 00:32:18.640
That describes almost everyone in this community.
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:21.519
Um, deep empathy.
00:32:21.599 --> 00:32:23.359
Well, yeah, you're intelligent emotionally.
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:27.759
Deep empathy is not a flaw, it's not a symptom of something.
00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:29.839
Uh, aversion to media violence.
00:32:30.079 --> 00:32:33.359
Actually, maybe I do quite can't wait for Grand Theft Auto.
00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:38.640
Um, conflict, but yeah, um overwhelmed from precious stuff.
00:32:38.880 --> 00:32:42.240
This isn't unique to a certain personality trait.
00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:52.559
Uh, my only opinion on that is don't use the title HSP to make your to affect the narrative, to make your anxiety special.
00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:57.759
Because look, you want certainty, and that's the mechanism that we all have in this community.
00:32:58.079 --> 00:32:58.480
I agree.
00:32:58.640 --> 00:33:00.799
Uh I you know, and it's always a touchy thing.
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:04.319
I don't fine if you're if you wanted to say HSP, that's fine.
00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:14.640
But I I don't have any good experience with that label because it's just like the person with GAD, for instance, who wants to stop ruminating and worrying.
00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:17.359
They really want they they get it, like this is making me crazy.
00:33:17.519 --> 00:33:24.400
But also I want to make sure that I am the war war W O R warrior because that makes me a loving parent.
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:26.480
That's what proves my goodness or my kindness.
00:33:26.720 --> 00:33:29.920
So, like, okay, I I tend to be empathetic with people.
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:32.160
If I see somebody struggling, I I feel for them.
00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:32.880
Okay, cool.
00:33:32.960 --> 00:33:33.440
Like, lovely.
00:33:33.519 --> 00:33:34.480
The world needs people like you.
00:33:34.559 --> 00:33:34.960
We love that.
00:33:35.119 --> 00:33:45.519
But but I'm an HSP, so that means that I I that's a that's a trait that I have to lean into and like, oh, and now I'm a mess for five hours because I feel everything so strongly in the room.
00:33:45.759 --> 00:33:49.279
Like it's a virtue to take on other people's emotions.
00:33:49.599 --> 00:33:50.559
Empathy is fine.
00:33:50.720 --> 00:33:55.359
If empathy informs support or empathy informs action of some kind, we love that.
00:33:55.599 --> 00:34:03.759
If empathy informs, no, I just sit with this feeling in the pit of my stomach and say it's an inevitability, and it's also kind of a good thing that I'm so sensitive.
00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:05.359
Like, look at me, how sensitive I am.
00:34:05.519 --> 00:34:08.880
It's really hard to reconcile how do I learn to be with difficult feelings.
00:34:09.119 --> 00:34:11.039
So I always challenge it a little bit.
00:34:11.119 --> 00:34:13.599
It's not I'm not taking away your empathy, it's a good thing, right?
00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:18.639
So the sensitivity is a fine thing, but we just want to be careful about calling it an inevitability.
00:34:18.800 --> 00:34:23.119
I have to be an HSP, but also want to make sure that I can tolerate difficult feelings.
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:24.400
Yeah, exactly.
00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:28.159
And do you not reckon underneath this, and I'm only speculating question, Sandra?
00:34:28.400 --> 00:34:29.360
So beautiful question.
00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:29.760
Yeah.
00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:37.920
Uh, do you not think underneath it all it's I'm an HSP, so I can't tolerate it?
00:34:38.480 --> 00:34:41.440
You know, and I get that from I I'm a this, I'm a that.
00:34:41.519 --> 00:34:47.199
I'm an autistic guy, I get sensory overload, I'm getting sensitive of things, like whatever.
00:34:47.440 --> 00:34:48.239
It's not nice.
00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:54.079
My friends and loved ones can deal with it better, but I can still tolerate discomfort.
00:34:54.400 --> 00:34:55.360
That's the difference.
00:34:55.599 --> 00:35:02.159
And maybe you're maybe your level of tolerance and my level of tolerance are going to be different, or maybe from day to day we're gonna be different because we're human beings.
00:35:02.400 --> 00:35:08.400
But the it's the absolute statement how I can't tolerate this because I have this personality trait.
00:35:08.559 --> 00:35:10.800
Well, okay, then that would mean a life of accommodation.
00:35:10.960 --> 00:35:13.840
And if you could pick that, and we would still root for you if that works for you.
00:35:14.079 --> 00:35:15.280
So it's all good.
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:17.440
Um, anyway, good question.
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:25.039
How about uh how about a did it anyway from our little community because I think it's a good one, and we'll see what we can do after that.
00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:26.960
Also, can I make a casting call?
00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:29.199
We need more audio did it anyways.
00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:33.679
Loads of written ones, and it's lovely, but there's a scarcity of audio did it anyways.
00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:38.880
So, your challenge, if you're someone who listens there, is to send in an audio did it anyway.
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:41.280
Whoever you are, wherever you're in the world, send them in.
00:35:41.360 --> 00:35:45.280
We need loads, and if we get enough, we'll just do an episode just piping them all through.
00:35:45.599 --> 00:35:47.760
Uh, we need more audio did it anyways.
00:35:47.920 --> 00:35:56.639
So if this is you and you're like, I'm scared to send something to those guys, well then send something in, and nothing is too scary, nothing is too small.
00:35:57.119 --> 00:36:01.440
If it terrifies you just to get out of bed and brush your teeth, that's a good did it anyway.
00:36:01.519 --> 00:36:13.199
Yeah, but you know, if you get in a plane and jumping out of a plane and into, I don't know, a submarine and going to the whatever, send that is into there's no one too big, there's no one too small.
00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:15.039
Yeah, and you can do that where, Drew?
00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:16.639
At disorder.fm.
00:36:16.719 --> 00:36:20.159
You hit the little blue thing on the side of the page and it'll open a little voicemail recording thing.
00:36:20.239 --> 00:36:21.920
You got two minutes, so be mindful of that.
00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:23.360
But yeah, we love them all.
00:36:23.440 --> 00:36:24.159
So send them in.
00:36:24.239 --> 00:36:25.280
I love that it's a casting call.
00:36:25.360 --> 00:36:27.519
We're paying SAG AFSTRA minimum, by the way.
00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:28.800
So do you're not gonna get rich?
00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:30.159
That's we're paying nothing.
00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:31.360
Admittedly, it's zero.
00:36:31.599 --> 00:36:33.199
You get exposed, you get exposure.
00:36:33.519 --> 00:36:34.320
Do it for exposure.
00:36:34.400 --> 00:36:35.199
Yeah, that's exactly right.
00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:39.360
Yeah, like if all the people who will hear you talk about how you vomited and were okay.
00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:43.519
Uh oh, emetophobia and OCD ones, please send them in as well.
00:36:43.679 --> 00:36:45.119
Oh, we love all those for sure.
00:36:45.280 --> 00:36:47.039
I love an intrusive thought, did it anyway.
00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:51.599
Just as simple as I don't know, like sat there and your brain's like, what if I stab my family?
00:36:51.760 --> 00:36:53.840
But I picked up my and ate my dinner.
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:54.559
I love those ones.
00:36:54.880 --> 00:36:56.639
Yeah, I I used the knife anyway.
00:36:56.719 --> 00:36:57.920
I carved my steak anyway.
00:36:58.000 --> 00:36:58.880
Yeah, it's really good.
00:36:59.280 --> 00:37:03.199
Um speaking of like there's no small, and people are and they send in their did it ways often.
00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:04.320
It's like, well, this is stilly.
00:37:04.559 --> 00:37:08.400
There's no silly did it anyways, as evidenced by this one from a member of our little community.
00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:11.840
Uh, I realized, says this person, that there are no small did it anyways.
00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:12.159
Good.
00:37:12.320 --> 00:37:14.159
So I'll share something that feels small.
00:37:14.320 --> 00:37:16.880
Thanks, Craig the critic, but I realize it's actually huge.
00:37:17.039 --> 00:37:23.119
I have some body stuff going on, and health anxiety is really trying hard to have me treat it as something urgent.
00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:28.000
It's saying it could be related to your surgery, or this could be this or that, whatever.
00:37:28.239 --> 00:37:31.840
I see that path and I'm choosing to not go down it.
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:39.039
Not Googling, not messaging my doctor, not doing what is just doing what is practical to help the body stuff and giving my body some time and space.
00:37:39.280 --> 00:37:42.960
If and when it is time to address it further, I will.
00:37:43.199 --> 00:37:44.400
End of story.
00:37:44.559 --> 00:37:46.719
Uh I'm very, very proud of myself.
00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:52.480
It's hard not to compulse and ruminate, but it's how to take the boiling pot off the flame, so to speak.
00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:53.119
Oh.
00:37:53.920 --> 00:37:54.719
I'm sorry.
00:37:56.000 --> 00:37:57.760
Where's the reframe in that one, right?
00:37:57.840 --> 00:37:58.880
Like I'm scared.
00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:01.360
You know, well, what if it's what if it's a horrible thing that's gonna happen?
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:02.000
What if I'm gonna die?
00:38:02.079 --> 00:38:03.360
What if uh what if this can happen?
00:38:03.440 --> 00:38:05.679
No, no, the reframe was like, Yeah, I see this process.
00:38:05.760 --> 00:38:07.039
It wants me to catastrophize.
00:38:07.119 --> 00:38:08.960
Uh, I'm just gonna do what I can do, and then that's it.
00:38:09.039 --> 00:38:10.000
I can't do any more than that.
00:38:10.159 --> 00:38:10.719
That's it.
00:38:11.679 --> 00:38:12.480
Love it.
00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:14.639
Yeah, really, really good.
00:38:15.199 --> 00:38:16.320
Um, excellent.
00:38:16.480 --> 00:38:17.119
Anything else?
00:38:17.199 --> 00:38:21.280
Or we're gonna see if you're only part of the community, you can do disorder.fm.
00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:23.760
It's not it's not essential, just a lovely group for us.
00:38:23.920 --> 00:38:29.039
Um, thank you for if you got time to leave a review or a star rating wherever you listen to us.
00:38:29.119 --> 00:38:32.320
That's that's really um, we'd really appreciate that.
00:38:32.480 --> 00:38:34.800
Uh the few health anxiety did it anyways, there.
00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:38.480
So we do have a book on the disordered guide to health anxiety.
00:38:38.559 --> 00:38:44.000
And we're currently writing the disordered guide to DPDR, which is going to be the second in the disordered library.
00:38:44.159 --> 00:38:48.079
So if you struggle with DPDR and derealization, then that'll be dropping too.
00:38:48.320 --> 00:38:49.440
What color should that book be?
00:38:49.599 --> 00:38:51.599
Uh we we decided all the books should have a color.
00:38:51.760 --> 00:38:52.239
DBDR.
00:38:53.119 --> 00:38:53.599
Maybe green?
00:38:54.239 --> 00:38:55.119
Green is DPDR.
00:38:55.440 --> 00:38:55.760
Let us know.
00:38:55.840 --> 00:38:58.480
Like, what color do you think DPDRxiety was the blue book?
00:38:58.559 --> 00:38:59.679
So DPDR might be.
00:38:59.840 --> 00:39:03.199
No, it should be see, it should be see-through and warm.
00:39:03.599 --> 00:39:07.840
And it's it's half reflective, so you're not quite sure really seeing it or not.
00:39:08.079 --> 00:39:11.039
And the right and the writing's like far or far away and up close.
00:39:11.360 --> 00:39:15.360
Oh, these stoker would just use different fonts, like it looks like perspective.
00:39:17.599 --> 00:39:20.239
Would be the cruelest DPDR book ever.
00:39:20.639 --> 00:39:22.480
Probably the only DPDR book ever written, because aren't you?
00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:23.199
Mirror.
00:39:24.800 --> 00:39:27.760
A mirror, it's just you open it, just black, just blackness.
00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:30.400
There's the blackest vanta black pages, right?
00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:31.280
What is that called?
00:39:32.800 --> 00:39:34.079
You never know what the next page is gonna be.
00:39:34.159 --> 00:39:34.639
What horror is the colour?
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:35.280
Cosmic.
00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:38.559
People with DPDR love it.
00:39:39.760 --> 00:39:40.800
Mirror and then the cosmos.
00:39:41.519 --> 00:39:43.280
Telescope Pillars of Creation picture.
00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:44.960
Hey, here's our picture of eternity.
00:39:45.119 --> 00:39:45.760
Enjoy that.
00:39:46.400 --> 00:39:46.719
Yeah.
00:39:47.199 --> 00:39:48.559
Anyway, guys, very good.
00:39:48.639 --> 00:39:51.440
I will wrap up with uh just a reminder on the reframes.
00:39:51.679 --> 00:40:06.719
Reframe is not to prove your thing wrong or argue with it, it's just to take a little step a few degrees to the left or the right, and maybe see that you're looking through a catastrophic I can't lens and just try to see it in a different way.
00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:08.639
Maybe you can, even though you're really scared.
00:40:08.880 --> 00:40:09.440
That's it.
00:40:09.679 --> 00:40:12.480
So, all right, we'll do it again next week, yes.
00:40:12.800 --> 00:40:14.239
Yeah, catch you later, guys.
00:40:14.320 --> 00:40:15.360
Thanks for hanging out.