Ep 128:

WEBVTT
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Come see me on the road.
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I am headlining the gathering of the juggalos August 20th.
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Please come out, see the show.
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Come see the gathering of the juggalos.
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I will see you there on the road.
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Do not miss this episode.
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Here it is.
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Whoop whoop whoop whoop.
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Great malinko.
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Hey, everybody.
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Welcome back to another episode of Discombobulated.
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We're here.
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We're queer and we're having fun.
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I'm ready to be a clown this week.
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And I tell you what.
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I tell you what.
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Um, this Thursday, August 20th, um, I am headlining at the gathering of the jugalos.
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I will be in the butcher tent, and I'm very, very excited about it.
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I'm excited to be um at the gathering because I feel like a lot of people, it's it kind of feels like going to the moon.
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You've seen videos, you think you know what it's like, but then you're asked to go and you're like, am I gonna die out there?
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Am I gonna die in the outer insane clown posse space?
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I don't know.
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But I'll tell you what, there's a lot of ways you could go.
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Poop dollars.
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Touch one, then touch your eye, gone.
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Uh, they got squirt bottles and they squirt you with whatever.
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It could be ketchup, mustard, and blood.
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So hopefully it's not that.
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Um, and then um there's also Fago.
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And if you drink too much of that, then you go.
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You go die.
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And I don't want to do that, but I am uh I'm excited to see.
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I'm excited to see what the gathering brings.
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I'm gonna see if it gets if it brings us together, I'll tell you what.
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I'm gonna see if it uh makes us bond under the hot, hot sky and all the clowns that you could want.
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I uh I don't really know, I really don't even know what to expect because I've kind of been watching some videos, but it it it feels a little bit like trying to sneak out on Christmas morning to try to see if Santa came yet.
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You're like, you know, I could do that, but I also kind of feel like it's against the rules.
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I kind of feel like I'm just supposed to show up and see what happens.
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See if it makes me a juggalo.
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Because I'm doing I'm doing everything in my power to become one.
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So if I get there and you guys aren't bringing the heat, that ain't that ain't my fault, brother.
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Okay, let's straighten this.
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Let's straighten this bitch out.
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Okay.
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Um Yeah, it's gonna be a great time.
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I'm also scared, but we're but dude, there's gonna be there's gonna be juggalos that are floating on the river, which is kind of confusing to me.
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We were talking about that.
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Like, you know, you could just be floating down the river and end up a juggalo.
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You could have started that morning fishing and ended up a clown.
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A clown fish.
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Sorry, I drink three Zevia's back to back, so my fucking insides are inside out.
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Oh god, I love Zevias.
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But they make you burp, but they also they kind of make you burp, um, but they don't know how where to go.
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Like they you burp and sometimes you'll like burp into and I I feel like I'm burping into my back or something instead of like burping it up, I'm just kind of shoving it around to my back side.
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And that's and that just and I'll just tell you what, I'll tell you what, that cannot be good for you.
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Is this thing?
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Is this thing recording?
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It is recording.
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Um sometimes you just gotta check before you get absolutely fucked when you're trying to record.
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Um I'm also I got the wait wait, I have um I'm trying to think which one.
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I can't remember if it's Violent J or Shaggy.
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I am getting them mixed up.
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I think Shaggy is bald, and I think Violent J is um the other guy.
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Um, because I've been a fan for a long time, but I don't even dude, I didn't even know like the lore of like bands I grew up with.
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You know what I mean?
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Like I when I would listen to ACD growing ACDC growing up, I thought that Angus Young, I thought that was his name.
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I was like, ow, god damn, dude.
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I just got bit by a bug.
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And dude, you know when you're like younger and people would be like, well, I can't bite you because its mouth's not that big.
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Well, what the fuck was that?
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Well, it was probably something different.
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They wasn't biting you didn't might have might have stung me or whatever, but it's something I don't know what it was, but I fucking I didn't like that.
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I'm getting bit up by mosquitoes.
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Oh yeah, that's what they got.
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They got little and now, and dude, I tell you what, if I got the West Nile Zika virus, I am fucking no one's gonna care about that because that is so outdated.
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If you tell people you're like, dude, I got Zika, they're like you better have cyclespora, because if you don't, I don't I honestly I don't even give a shit.
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I don't even give a fuck or a shit.
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I don't know if you guys heard that, but it sounded like the loudest fucking car door shutting.
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Sounded like an angry person.
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I'm like, what's going on?
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They're like, nothing just getting in a fucking fight.
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Getting in a fight with my fucking wife.
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God, dude.
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I can't wait to see how many fights happen at the gathering of the juggalos.
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And I also can't wait to be married one day and fight with my wife.
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That does seem fun.
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It does it seem because I've had a girlfriend, and so and if you get upset at a girlfriend, people are like, you just you don't even understand love yet.
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And you're like, huh?
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But if you get mad, if you get mad at your wife, everyone just like and then your wife gets mad back at you, and then that's why people like me are like, I'll probably never get married just because they get out of their car, like You forgot the empanadas?
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That's the whole reason we keep why would I why would we set out the empanadas?
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You thought I set them on the counter for my own fucking for my own fucking stupid free will?
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No, I wanted you to put them in the fucking Tahoe so we could come over to Beth's and fucking and have a and have a whole and have an evening.
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Playing board games no one gives a fuck about.
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So we can all pretend we're not cheating on each other and just get back to our lives.
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Cause that's the thing I'm learning.
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I'll tell you this.
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I'm on the road a lot, and I meet a lot of you fucks, and a lot of you people ain't very sometimes I'll be like, you know what, marriage does seem beautiful, and then you'll meet someone who's married, and you're like, well that seems like that doesn't seem like the team I want to play for.
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Like I did a show uh this weekend, and after the show, uh a husband or wife came up to me and they were like, dude, great show, that was really awesome.
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I go, thank you so much.
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And then the wife like put her arm like or her hands like up my arm and underneath my t-shirt.
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I was like, what?
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And he goes, Okay, we're getting out of here.
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She goes, add me on Instagram.
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She's like, we ain't doing none of that.
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And I was just like, what the fuck is going on?
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Like, I feel like before you get married, you kind of talk about that.
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You're like, hey, if we go to a comedy show and the guy who opens is semi-funny, at just a tad just a tad funny.
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You promise you won't fucking make me feel like an imbecile in front of him, and she's like, I swear, by the light in the sky, you know what I'm saying?
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I'll be there.
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But for better words, they'll have to us part.
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I love you with ever stinky fart.
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I swear.
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Getting a little choked up thinking about it.
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Honestly, the one I think this is like the whenever I look at marriage, the only thing I want, you're like, you know what I want?
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I want someone you can like fart in front of and they don't care.
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And then they can fart and it don't stink too bad.
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Isn't that love?
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Cause I know people that are married, they're like, we haven't farted in front of each other in 20 years.
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And I have never even heard her shit.
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We bought two houses.
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One of the houses called the shittin' house.
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You shit in that house, and then you come back over.
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So in the morning, you beg, you go into work, you go, I'm going to shit To keep this marriage together.
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They're like in there like talking to like a couples counselor, they're like, So how long has it been?
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He's like, Since she's fucking shitting our house, fucking two weeks, and I still can't even fucking I still can't even piss in that bathroom without throwing up all over the my own dick.
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I try to take a piss and I throw up all over my own fucking dick.
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Do you know what that's like?
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That's what happens when you hear your own wife shit.
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Dude, I've never cared about shit.
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Me and my ex, if she if she was shitting and I was going to work and we weren't even married, I would be like, hey, I'm leaving for work.
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Knock, knock, open the door.
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She's pooping.
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We I hold my breath, kiss, and then you leave, people are like, that's gross.
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You know what is more gross?
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The idea of dying and you didn't get one last smooch in.
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I'll get a last smooch in wherever.
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Dude, if I'm leaving, if I'm leaving your house and your dog's too old, I'm smooching it.
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And also, so now you know if you see me smooching your dog, you're like, You think my dog's gonna die?
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I go, I don't know.
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But I'll tell you what, dogs don't live, you know, dogs ain't living as long as us.
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So when I see a dog and it gives me that little sad look, I give it a little two.
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I see in heaven.
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And if they're and if you think that's crazy, sometimes they kiss me and they can tell they're gonna see me in heaven.
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Sometimes like dogs, you know, I've had a dog lick me and they're like, I know I'm gonna be around longer than you.
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You're like, how do you know that?
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You're like, I just know.
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I just know these things.
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I'm trying to think, what other things do I know?
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I can tell I sometimes I know like at a casino, if you're playing a slot machine, I can tell you which, like, um, I call it is it like a progressive or whatever?
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Like you're doing the slots, and they got those like the things at the top where they're like, this rocket ship's about to take off.
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I can find which one is gonna explode.
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But I'll tell you this, even if it explodes, it doesn't always explode the same amount.
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Sometimes it explodes real big, sometimes it doesn't explode big at all.
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Sometimes it explodes real small.
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Not big at all.
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Real, real small.
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And that shit sucks.
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Um, I'm just pretty much good at just guessing that.
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I'll tell you what I'm not good at guessing blackjack.
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I tried my hand at a couple of hands of blackjack on my way to Oklahoma.
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And fuck, dude.
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I like stopped and I like saw these guys and playing blackjack, and I was like, ah, do a hand.
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And I do a couple of hands, and then I was like, I wasn't doing bad, you know.
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I was like a little up down, I'm like, okay, I'm just playing first, I'm just gonna sit down for a second.
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And then I swear to God, all of a sudden I didn't do the extra bet at one hand and I would have won six hundred and sixty-six dollars.
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The fucking the devil looked at me and gave me a little wink and fucking went on with his gay day.
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And I'm not saying he's gay, I'm saying it's something that rhymed.
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That was it.
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Can I rhyme sometimes without thinking?
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Are you guys gonna you guys gonna throw me to the wolves?
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What kind of wolves is gonna eat a fucking clown?
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Hmm?
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Hmm?
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I'll wait.
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One, two, three, didn't think so.
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Um what else is new?
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What else is new?
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I don't know, man.
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I'm just I'm excited to do shows, and I think that's kind of where I'm at in my life.
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I've been kind of decided that I'm just like, I gotta focus on me and the things that I want to work on because life is way shorter than you even think.
00:12:15.519 --> 00:12:19.039
Because it's not even like it's not even like short, because then people be like, well, my grandma's 80.
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It's like, well, we're not fucking talking about her.
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That's the only time you talk about her.
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You'll come over to my house and be like, guys, sorry I'm late, dude.
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Me and my grandma were, dude, we were talking and it was fun.
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You ever talk to your grandma?
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You're like, how are you doing?
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She's like the exact same I would since the fucking 1993, man.
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My back hurts.
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I'm tired.
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My shits haven't been solid since forever, which I grandma, me and you both, sister.
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Shista, shista.
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I got so much shista coming in my shista.
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I can't stop shysting.
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I'm shisting all over this shittin' place.
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Gardang it.
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Give me a break with this, psychospora.
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Psychospora.
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Kiss kiss king.
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Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
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Can't shoot.
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Can't stop shooting.
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Because I ate lettuce one time.
00:13:13.039 --> 00:13:14.240
You eat lettuce one time.
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You eat one salad.
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Diarrhea forever.
00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:19.759
What's that from?
00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:22.480
Diarrhea forever.
00:13:22.720 --> 00:13:23.919
You get diarrhea forever.
00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:25.360
Diarrhea forever.
00:13:25.440 --> 00:13:27.200
What the fuck movie is that from?
00:13:27.919 --> 00:13:29.440
Diarrhea forever.
00:13:29.600 --> 00:13:31.360
It's like a kid's movie or something.
00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:33.519
Diarrhea forever.
00:13:33.679 --> 00:13:35.200
What the fuck movie is that?
00:13:35.600 --> 00:13:36.320
Fuck.
00:13:40.879 --> 00:13:41.600
Oh, Mrs.
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Doubtfire.
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Yeah, you get sick and it's like whatever.
00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:48.399
You get diarrhea and die.
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He's like, diarrhea forever.
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That was what it's from.
00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:52.000
Bobby, shut up.
00:13:52.080 --> 00:13:52.960
No, it's my podcast.
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I was fucking if I want.
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You can talk if you want to.
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You can never shut up.
00:13:59.200 --> 00:14:02.000
Because if you try to shut up, someone will take the space in there.
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Not as fun as Bob.
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You wish I was still talking.
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Still talking.
00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:07.840
Now that guy's talking a lot.
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Now we're talking about golf.
00:14:10.399 --> 00:14:12.240
Cause you didn't want Bob to talk.
00:14:12.480 --> 00:14:12.799
Ah.
00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:14.799
Sorry.
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Sorry, Boocha.
00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:18.399
Um.
00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:21.919
Yeah, I don't know.
00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:24.080
You have just that's why yeah, that's what I was saying.
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I'm just uh I'm in a mood lately.
00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:27.840
I'm in a mood.
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I feel like a lot of people go through this, and I think we're all kind of um we're feeling the tides.
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We're feeling this, we're feeling our earth connect, but we're um Yeah, I I think everything's just like in a weird spot.
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I don't know about you.
00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:44.559
I feel I feel very disconnected from people.
00:14:44.720 --> 00:14:48.720
I feel um I feel like these things are supposed to happen though.
00:14:48.799 --> 00:14:53.200
You feel very disconnected of people, and it kind of makes you realize like what the real important things are.
00:14:53.279 --> 00:15:05.039
Because sometimes I'll find myself, you know, just trying to fill time with people who don't really I don't even think care what what is I don't even think they care about the future or the present or the past.
00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:12.879
And those people I'm trying to, you know, tangentially just be like, oh, you get the fuck out of here.
00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:15.840
And that's um that's where I'm at.
00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:18.639
I'm just like, dude, I can't really put up with bullshit anymore.
00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:21.120
I can't really focus on anything that's not me.
00:15:21.279 --> 00:15:23.279
Because I live in my car, dude.
00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:29.440
Uh you ever live in your car and have other people be like, sorry, I can't do and you're like, no shit.
00:15:29.759 --> 00:15:34.399
Cause you were you in were you were you fucking pumping a C into your lungs?
00:15:35.279 --> 00:15:37.360
Because I'll tell you this, I haven't slept, dude.
00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:38.480
I haven't slept in in so long.
00:15:38.559 --> 00:15:41.039
Like I got to sleep in because I had a hotel this weekend, which was nice.
00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:44.159
I was at Bricktown Comedy Club opening for D-Ray Davis.
00:15:44.399 --> 00:15:47.200
And so I was I had a hotel from the club, which was nice.
00:15:47.360 --> 00:16:04.399
So I like got to sleep in, but even this morning, dude, as life would have it being like, but I guess life wants me out there so fucking bad that I woke up and my hotel room was like so cold because I got in and it wasn't cold enough, so I was like fucking, I just hit down until it was like, okay, fuck Jesus Christ, man.
00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:14.399
And then I woke up and I was too cold, so I turned it on heat, which it hasn't been turned on heat since fucking, I guess, you know, the last time it was cold, which is months.
00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:20.240
And so it's just dead skin and just fu and just fuck fumes all like laying on top of this heat.
00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:23.600
And then I turned it on and heats all that up.
00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:27.919
And dude, it smelled like someone, it smelled like popcorn was fucking in there.
00:16:28.000 --> 00:16:31.519
It smelled so bad, it's not like burnt shit popcorn.
00:16:31.679 --> 00:16:35.279
So then I was just like, I'm up, I'm um, I'm I'm up.
00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:44.559
You know, from the movie hook, I'm up, I'm up, up, I'm god, movies.
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:48.559
They do bring us together when you're like, what in the absolute fuck is going on in the world?
00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:52.960
Am I just gonna get bitten up by mosquitoes because I wanted to do the podcast outside?
00:16:53.759 --> 00:16:56.080
Because I want to do the podcast outside, I gotta eat enough.
00:16:56.399 --> 00:16:58.960
And by the way, this blue doesn't come off.
00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:01.200
We found that out.
00:17:01.279 --> 00:17:07.920
My friend was like, hey, I'll practice because she's gonna help me do like filming and my makeup and stuff at the festival, and then we put it on.
00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:09.119
She's like, oh, this is not coming off.
00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:10.960
I was like, oh, that's great.
00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:13.200
That's great.
00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:19.440
I'm blue, and I'm a damn guy, and I'm always gonna be blue blue guy.
00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:24.000
I'm just gonna have blue on my face for I'm gonna look like I dunked my I'm gonna look like I robbed a bank.
00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:27.599
I got blue on my face, I'm gonna look like I robbed a bank.
00:17:27.839 --> 00:17:33.440
A clock like a clown robbed a bank with a gun that just said it shot, and he says bang.
00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:37.119
I'm like, you guys are lucky, that's all I brought.
00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:40.720
You brought a fight gun to a fucking fuck fight.
00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:45.359
Where do you think we're going from here, Bob?
00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:48.799
Probably to get fucking some deep fucking wood spray.
00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:50.559
Jesus shit.
00:17:51.839 --> 00:17:55.920
Still better than getting eaten by ants, but I tell you what, this is fucking eh, not good.
00:17:56.400 --> 00:17:59.039
Oh, can't touch your fucking face, Bob.
00:17:59.359 --> 00:18:00.480
Oh shit.
00:18:01.200 --> 00:18:03.200
I just wipe that off right there.
00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:07.599
Just wipe that off and hope to God it comes off.
00:18:07.759 --> 00:18:08.799
Oh, it won't.
00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:09.680
Good.
00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:14.000
I'm blue and I'm a knee, n I'm a guy.
00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:17.359
But yeah, anyway, so that's what's going on with life.
00:18:17.519 --> 00:18:18.640
That's what's going on with that.
00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:24.160
To these headphones that are free from the airport just ain't gonna stay in Bob's ears.
00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:26.799
Um, but yeah.
00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:29.119
I've also just been, I yeah, dude, I don't know, man.
00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:36.880
I'm I mean, I uh I've been noticing phonies, I've been noticing cronies, and I've been riding ponies.
00:18:39.759 --> 00:18:43.200
What are you gonna do about it?
00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:46.240
What you gonna do about it?
00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:48.079
What you gonna do, active foo?
00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:50.160
Yeah, I didn't think so.
00:18:50.799 --> 00:18:52.559
Um, yeah, dude.
00:18:52.799 --> 00:19:00.960
Yeah, just I had a I've had like a whole year of like having nothing and then still being there for people, and then eventually you're like, you know what, I am gonna be there for people.
00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:18.480
I think the person I'm gonna be there for is me, and I know that almost sounds like bitchy or whatever, but I dude, I'm like, my health, I haven't been taking care of my health, I haven't been taking care of my mental health, I haven't been taking care of like so many things because I want to make sure while I'm still doing that, you know, you try to like lift everyone else up or whatever.
00:19:18.559 --> 00:19:32.559
And I don't that also might even seem narcissistic or like egotistical that I'm like, well, I'm also trying to help everybody else, but I really do feel like I am, and I'm trying to do that thing that we all just like talk about, and then you start doing it longer and longer, and you're like, Am I the only one trying to play this game?
00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:37.359
Seems like everyone else is trying to make a hundred thousand dollars every year.
00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:45.759
Come on, I haven't made that in my entire years and life, and just fucking you just breathe in and out and just take a second when you fucking breathe.
00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:53.119
Hmm.
00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:55.200
All right, well, we can't just complain all day.
00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:56.480
What else do we want to talk about?
00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:58.160
Um, I'll tell you this.
00:19:58.480 --> 00:20:15.119
Um I uh I was on the road and uh I I will I will say it is beautiful outside right now because it's becoming the end of summer, so the trees are kind of taking their last gasp before they lose all their hair.
00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:17.839
And uh I love this time.
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:20.079
I love that I love how everything starts to change colors.
00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:29.599
Like every it's everyone puts on their last best outfit and then they're like, all right, and then they start, you know, kind of wearing clothes that are they've already worn before, and then they they're a little bit dirty.
00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:34.480
That's what the trees are about to do if you don't know what they're about to do in fall.
00:20:35.839 --> 00:20:47.920
But I was really excited for summer, and I feel like I sucked up enough of um what I could of it, but I mean I feel like summer always just kind of fucking comes and then you just and it's gone.
00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:49.119
You're like, I have all these ideas.
00:20:49.200 --> 00:21:05.359
Like I, you know, you picture it in your head, you just picture yourself like you're like wearing a fucking hula skirt and you got a you got the fucking lay around your neck and you're surfing, and then it happens, and more times than not, you're just kind of sweating and you're like in your car and you're like, all right, I'm gonna try to go inside, but it's fucking pretty hot between here and there.
00:21:05.599 --> 00:21:07.440
All right, let me hit my vape one more time.
00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:12.960
Oh, now my head hurts before I'm going inside of this chipotle, chipotle.
00:21:13.920 --> 00:21:15.519
Oh, I forgot to use my rewards.
00:21:15.599 --> 00:21:17.200
What a stupid sucking fuck.
00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:19.200
God damn it.
00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:22.240
Um oh yeah, dude.
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:24.160
I'm sorry, I'm looking at the back of this porch.
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:32.480
Um, because my me and my friend were gonna go, me, her, my friend Kate, and I think I got like a couple other people that are gonna go, and they're helping film.
00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:36.799
Uh we're doing like a man on the street and a bunch of stuff at the gathering of the juggalos.
00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:51.119
And uh so I came here last night and me and or today, and uh before it was nighttime, her neighbors, uh, my friend Tam, her neighbors were like cooking, and they're they just look you ever see people just look stupid.
00:21:51.200 --> 00:22:00.799
And I used to do this thing a lot where I would like talk over movies, like I'd turn the TV sound off and I would like talk over them and just like make the sounds, and I did it for this, and it Was perfect, dude.
00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:03.440
This guy, like she was cooking and he was watching her.
00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:05.440
And my friend was like, You think he's just like a cook?
00:22:05.519 --> 00:22:06.880
I'm like, Oh, dude, I bet he watches everything.
00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:08.480
He's like, Yeah, cook that chicken.
00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:08.880
Yeah.
00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:10.880
And as I started doing it, he started swatting.
00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:12.559
I go, Yeah, let me spank that ass.
00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:16.400
And from where we were sitting, that's exactly what it looked like he was doing.
00:22:16.559 --> 00:22:19.279
And every once in a while, when that happens, I'm like, you know what?
00:22:19.759 --> 00:22:20.960
Life ain't all that bad.
00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:25.920
At least we can suck some stuff up, some suck some fun up here and there and try to make people laugh.
00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:30.400
Try to make them laugh, try to make them bust out their ass.
00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:34.000
At least that's what I'm gonna try to do this weekend.
00:22:34.079 --> 00:22:36.400
Because I did do that um this weekend.
00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:39.839
I had so much fun at Bricktown um doing shows.
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:42.559
Um I was like changing the order around the stuff.
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:49.359
I realized a couple things about my act that I had not been paying attention to because usually I do my show and just want to hang out.
00:22:49.440 --> 00:22:52.880
But this time I was like, dude, I gotta like, I gotta focus, you know.
00:22:53.119 --> 00:23:02.480
Sometimes you just gotta fucking you're like, this is the thing I'm supposed to do, so I should focus on this instead of you know, I'll be on the road and just be like, I'm like, I'm gonna make friends with everyone at this hotel.
00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:06.400
It's like, what the fuck is when has that ever helped you, Bob?
00:23:07.279 --> 00:23:07.920
Huh?
00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:09.440
Never.
00:23:09.599 --> 00:23:10.880
That's what I thought.
00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:12.559
So I'm starting to, yeah, dude.
00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:13.680
I was like math club president.
00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:16.640
I can't be math club president and be a fucking idiot, you know.
00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:19.200
You gotta fucking make some good decisions.
00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:30.400
Um I uh I don't know.
00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:36.400
I don't know about my decisions anymore.
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:37.119
I don't even know.
00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:38.400
You ever like right now?
00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:42.079
What I'm trying to do is a thing I always talk about doing is like listening to my gut.
00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:45.200
But sometimes you'll listen to your gut and you're like, but that doesn't sound fun.
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:56.799
But dude, the other night I listened to my gut and I was like, because I wanted to go grab a drink because I was just like, dude, I'm at the comedy club, they're free, and then I was like, dude, what are you gonna do you're gonna then you're gonna be tired tomorrow instead of doing what you need to do?
00:23:57.039 --> 00:24:05.839
So I didn't drink, and then the second, like on like the very last night, I was like, all right, you dude, you deserve a drink, and that's where I'll get myself too.
00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:16.480
Like I did that the other day, like I went and I threw my vape and it hit my seat and flew right back into my front seat, like in the mask when he fucking throws it out and it like comes back into his apartment.
00:24:16.559 --> 00:24:22.640
Like I did that and it like bounced back up into my front seat, and I was like, I guess the universe wants me to smoke.
00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:31.039
Like sometimes you do that, you'll be like, Oh, I'm looking for a sign, and then you'll get it, and you'll be like, shut the fuck up, sign, and then you'll get another sign, and you'll be like, that's the one I'm supposed to do.
00:24:31.200 --> 00:24:32.960
Like, you'd think the vape came to your front seat.
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:37.680
That was like the sign that you're supposed to smoke, you stupid absolute fuck.
00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:41.519
Hmm, maybe pull it together.
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:44.000
But yeah, I don't know.
00:24:44.480 --> 00:25:05.359
I also feel, yeah, dude, I feel like I've just I've yeah, I've been feeling like I don't even like to say alone because I feel like sometimes if I say alone, it's like that means I'm not also trying to participate, but I've been participating and I've also learned like that loyalty is dumb or like having loyalty or like trying to have expectations of loyalty or whatever too.
00:25:05.519 --> 00:25:14.319
And I know it seems like I'm just complaining, but whenever you just when you start to be like, oh, I want this to happen, or this happened, this to happen, and then it's all you're gonna do is be let down.
00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:19.680
But the more I've been trying to just take stuff that happens, like even the bad, like you're like, dude, this bad thing happened.
00:25:19.839 --> 00:25:24.799
Fucking, I'm gonna do what everyone says, even though I think it sounds so stupid, is I'm gonna learn a lesson.
00:25:25.039 --> 00:25:31.440
I'm gonna learn one of those lessons, and I'm gonna bring it forward, and then I'm gonna have a blue face and I'm gonna never take it off.
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:45.599
And then I'm gonna get some fucking teeth wideners, because god damn, with this white face paint, my teeth look like they're doing fucking looks bad.
00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:49.759
Looks like my teeth are acting British right now.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:55.200
God, my nose itch is so bad, but if I itch it too hard, I'm gonna fuck up my face paint though.
00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:56.480
And this is just a test run.
00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:59.279
We were just doing a test run because I'm like, I'm gonna run around and do interviews.
00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:03.359
I don't know if I'm gonna want to paint my whole face, but I want to try to test out this makeup.
00:26:04.079 --> 00:26:06.079
Try to test this makeup.
00:26:06.319 --> 00:26:09.039
I sing a little ICP for you.
00:26:09.519 --> 00:26:12.160
Malinko, malinko, you be in my heart.
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:23.680
I say malinko, no whoop poop, you be in my heart, you get a poop, toller tonight, and then you get poop, you get sick, you get a shot, and then you get sick because a shot was too late.
00:26:23.759 --> 00:26:27.039
You went to the ICP concert and you got sick.
00:26:27.119 --> 00:26:32.799
You got trash in your ass, cause everybody is now washing the hands.
00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:43.759
And that was just that was just on that's just on the first, that's just the song on the first page if you go to the gathering of the jugalos.
00:26:44.079 --> 00:26:45.279
But dude, we're gonna see everybody.
00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:52.559
We're gonna see fucking vanilla ice, vanilla, mimili vanilli, and um, I'm probably gonna have a vanilla shake.
00:26:55.599 --> 00:26:57.200
And live that van life.
00:26:57.359 --> 00:27:04.240
I'm about to, dude, I'm so about to ready to fucking just live so I because I'm out in the car already, and I'm like, I need to just get a van.
00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:06.160
At least so I can stretch my little legs out.
00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:12.319
Do you guys know what it feels like when you're like, oh dude, I'm gonna sleep in my car, and then you try to stretch out, and then you get a you get a fucking, what is that called?
00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:13.359
I get a Charlie horse.
00:27:13.519 --> 00:27:20.240
For some reason I was gonna call it a crank yanker, but it feels like it's yanking my crank for sure, but it's actually just my lower back and my lumbar.
00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:22.880
My lumbar gets pretty fucked from sleeping in the car.
00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:35.759
Oh, dude, and today I went to go check out and I was gonna go fucking, I was gonna go get a coffee, and I was like gonna check out the line was so long, and everyone was there was being an asshole.
00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:39.920
And then I was like, well, dude, I'm not, I mean, I'm just gonna wait in line, whatever, I'm not gonna leave.
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:46.000
And so then I go to check out, and as I go to check out, someone like says something and laughs really loud, so I just like look over.
00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:48.079
And I was like, well.
00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:53.279
And the lady behind the counter goes, Are you waiting for someone?
00:27:53.440 --> 00:27:57.759
And I was like, You ever do that thing where you're just like, dude, I could have been a bad guy?
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:01.759
And then you made me realize if I'd have been a bad guy, at least I would have had my peace.
00:28:01.920 --> 00:28:10.559
Like, maybe there's a version of the Joker where he's not robbing people, but he's being an asshole and he's like at least fucking sleeping good at night.
00:28:12.160 --> 00:28:16.880
Not at his hotel, like, what the fuck am I doing with my entire actual life?
00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:20.160
Try to turn the heat on, get comfortable.
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:23.839
Burnt popcorn.
00:28:24.079 --> 00:28:27.599
Burnt popcorn in the fucking dude.
00:28:28.480 --> 00:28:30.480
Melt popcorn in the Dags, or what does he say?
00:28:30.559 --> 00:28:32.720
The dash that really ups the resale value.
00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:34.480
Am I just gonna quote movies the whole day?
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:38.559
Yes, because I drove fucking eight hours today.
00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:42.640
Well, longer because you're in your car or whatever, and you gotta stop and take a piss and shit, dude.
00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:51.039
And then you'll stop to take a shit and you're like, please, Lord, let this be one of those restrooms that doesn't look like it was made at in the movie Saw.
00:28:51.440 --> 00:28:54.000
Please don't give me the bathroom from Saw.
00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:58.480
And then you open it up and then you're like, I knew it.
00:28:58.559 --> 00:29:00.319
It's exactly what I thought I saw.
00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:03.279
It's the fucking bathroom from Saw.
00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:08.799
And then you're like, okay, maybe I'll open up the toilet, and maybe there's not the biggest pieces of actual shit I've ever seen.
00:29:09.599 --> 00:29:15.440
So big that toilets when they made them, they're like, this shit handles shit, and they're like, well, they weren't planning for we need a bigger shit.
00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:19.279
We need a bigger boat for every little bit of this shit.
00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:21.920
But not a lot of people know that.
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:23.119
But now you do.
00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:24.880
And uh, that's the podcast.
00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:26.160
Thank you for showing up.
00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:29.359
I'll be at the gathering of the jugalos uh this weekend.
00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:31.519
Uh, if you're there, come by and say hi.
00:29:31.759 --> 00:29:35.359
Um love one another, focus on yourself.
00:29:35.599 --> 00:29:37.920
The world as always is going to shit.
00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:41.200
But we can take care of each other while it fucking stinks.
00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:42.559
Right?
00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:46.000
Or is that just me trying to be too happy and fucking not making sense?
00:29:46.079 --> 00:29:48.880
Because when you're sad, you just say that and you just fucking say shit.
00:29:50.079 --> 00:29:51.279
Who knows?
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:53.359
I sure don't.
00:29:53.519 --> 00:29:55.279
I fucking I don't know at all.
00:29:55.519 --> 00:29:57.200
But anyway, that's the podcast.
00:29:57.359 --> 00:29:58.480
Thank you guys for coming out.
00:29:58.559 --> 00:30:00.000
Um, I'll see you next time.
00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:04.079
And uh as always, goodbye.
00:30:04.720 --> 00:30:05.279
Love ya.
00:30:05.759 --> 00:30:06.480
Kisses.
00:30:06.799 --> 00:30:07.839
Whoop whoop.
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:08.480
Bye.