Is It Racist or Just Wrong? Teaching Our Sons How to Respond Without Losing Control | 219 Dear Son,

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[SPEAKER_00]: is it racist or just wrong?
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is a necessary conversation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: How do you feel?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Because of the time and era that we're living in, the climate to happenings, the happenings current day, 2026.
00:19.632 --> 00:28.559
[SPEAKER_01]: There are things taking place right now, 2026 that makes this a topic of the utmost relevance if you will.
00:29.955 --> 00:35.378
[SPEAKER_01]: unsolved, unresolved conflicts and issues surrounding such issues.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And we get, we as humans, we as people, we as a culture.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I want to be very specific.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We as a culture can be, I don't want to say pegged, but it could be accurately stated that we easily get comfortable.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, it's, you know, elections are coming up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So there's a lot of election talking my house and proud of that that we do have active debates and exchanges about, um, politicians, policies and candidates.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And there are, there are age-old traditions that are followed that perhaps doesn't fit your personal gain or benefit of your current life situation.
01:28.194 --> 01:30.477
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're voting for a particular party,
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[SPEAKER_01]: versus what the candidates are talking about or their track record, their voting record.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Because everything that they've done, it's publicly recorded.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So you can see who, I don't care what you say for the 90 days prior to an election.
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[SPEAKER_01]: If this isn't your first position hailed in government, your entire report card and voting history is available.
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[SPEAKER_00]: check check check all right guys let's get it welcome to the DS on show we have meaningful conversations about life through the lens of Fatherhood it is four fathers those with fathers and the father lesson nobody's left out
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[SPEAKER_00]: These are the conversations we want our sons to access as they grow through life in the manhoods So no topics are off limits.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just one of your host diggers.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your the host Jay Black.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Jay Black in the building Yes, sir.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm really great man a few things few things got really real good.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's more.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Let's see First off like share and subscribe And um This week's Tampa Bay Book of New Year's happened to play
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[SPEAKER_01]: a team that's located in Arlington, Texas, but doesn't hold the name, Arlington.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Cause I remember you had an issue with a team that practices in Maryland and different state is in, yeah, different states.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But there's a team that,
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's home bases in a lot of the taxes in area what they do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not even said at the one.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It just happened to play certain things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think the two holes of this show won pools for one of those teams and the other pools for the other team.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm excited for your y'all got a chance to get your first one.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's what it is.
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[SPEAKER_01]: God don't like good brother.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How you fit in this morning the 10th of May.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh first No, I was gonna let it rock You put it out in front of me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, I roofed my people right out of he put out of front because I'm leading the show Yeah, try to throw me yeah, cuz I know ain't gonna have chance to get it in there He tried to um how's keeping real quick?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, the like chance to subscribe.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Please do that like now
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know sometimes you hear it in the glosses over, the show is growing, we got a real opportunity to do something special, please subscribe, please let this thing play, if you think you can't watch all of it now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let it plan, come back.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It'll be in your store, your memory, your last watch or whatever, it'll be there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But it's really important to help us if you subscribe number one, turning your notification so that you know when episodes are coming out.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because people, I saw a few comments over the last couple of weeks, man.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We thought, we thought the show went away.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I had the search for you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Showing on, no with.
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[SPEAKER_01]: No way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Showing on.
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[SPEAKER_01]: No way.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Want to lie with.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but please do that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's a big way to support us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Also deer sun merch.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The deer sun shop dot store without my tongue tight.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The deer sun shop dot store is where you can grab everything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, for filming this clicking, it doesn't require me to touch anything anymore.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Which was, um, not necessarily the lay for folks, but it was, it was not a great.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not, not a great way to scale.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Not a great way to scale.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's a really
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[SPEAKER_00]: go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Stop asking Jay Black.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Is it available?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's available.
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[SPEAKER_01]: If you've already asked, yeah, I don't do ask me to ask me to ask myself, I could tell you to side again.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't mind it out.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Please.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The dear son shop dot store.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We've been to get right into this thing this morning because, uh, got some things to pursue.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Please, got some pursuits after this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We got to get to
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[SPEAKER_00]: Dear son, it's not right, but it's okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not right, but it's okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Don't beat yourself up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe something you're attempting or maybe something you're looking at or maybe a goal that you have.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Didn't work out the way you thought or
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[SPEAKER_01]: You didn't do it the way you were supposed to do it and it caught up with you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And now you, you destroyed about it or down, kicking yourself about it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That that happened.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not right that you chose to do it that way.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But it's okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Because you're still here.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You're breathing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You can do some about it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You can write track that thing and fix it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I got initially off here and that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This stem from an incident that my son had yesterday, okay, works in customer service.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Some people know when it is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Some people have sent me pictures of them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Within with it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But he got in the car after work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I picked him up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, how was the day?
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[SPEAKER_00]: He normally asked me first.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was waiting for...
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you know, say, we're like, I think I said yesterday, the guy some stuff done, I was going to share with him.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And he was like, man, just, it wasn't that great actually.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So what you mean?
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[SPEAKER_00]: He said a customer came in and accused me of doing something that I didn't do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, the manager kind of stepped in and said, you know, he's entraining with, you know, we're sorry about that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My son was actually doing the right thing, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was a matter of the change that he gave.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right, right, right, right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The customer suggested that he counted out wrong, and then he said he started getting loud.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You got people here that can't count, you can't do this, you can't do that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He said it was an old white gentleman.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I said, hmm.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What did your manager see?
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[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, what did you see?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I said, how did your manager see the situation?
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[SPEAKER_00]: He was like, after was the manager said, I did the right thing, but the customer who was trying to de-escalate and keep the situation smooth and a lot of the customer to live, you know, saying, no, live in his role.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I said, I was a valuable lesson.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Very.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He said, what's the lesson?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I said, you have complete control over how you react to what people do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't make what they did the right thing, but sometimes a lot of times the game is to facilitate the right outcome.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Being right is not always the same as what facilitating the right outcome looks like.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was telling him like, you're not going to escape this at any phase of life, you're out here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're out here in the world, as much as my blow was blown to see what's telling me, especially the way that he framed it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So all the way, gentlemen, yelling at him, making a spectacle of my son, because he felt something happened.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It just sounded like too much.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not course I wasn't there, and there's three other versions of what happened, certainly.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But just thinking in terms of the climate,
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[SPEAKER_00]: My initial thought for the title was, is it racist or just wrong?
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is a necessary conversation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Probably so because of the time and era that we're living in, the climate to happenings, the happenings current day, 2026.
09:22.748 --> 09:31.655
[SPEAKER_01]: There are things taking place right now, 2026 that makes this a topic of the utmost relevance, if you will.
09:31.715 --> 09:31.895
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: unsolved, unresolved conflicts and issues surrounding such issues.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And we get, we as humans, we as people, we as a culture, I want to be very specific, we as a culture can be, I don't want to say, paid, but it could be accurately stated that we easily get comfortable.
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[SPEAKER_01]: it's, you know, elections are coming up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So there's a lot of election talking my house and proud of that that we do have active debates and exchanges about politicians, policies and candidates.
10:16.842 --> 10:30.609
[SPEAKER_01]: And there are, there are age-old traditions that are followed that perhaps doesn't fit your personal gain or benefit of your current life situation.
10:31.310 --> 10:33.591
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're voting for a particular party,
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[SPEAKER_01]: versus what the candidates are talking about or their track record, their voting record.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Because everything that they've done, it's publicly recorded.
10:45.246 --> 10:50.089
[SPEAKER_01]: So you can see who, I don't care what you say for the 90 days prior to an election.
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[SPEAKER_01]: If this isn't your first position held in government, your entire report card and voting history is available.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's why I don't understand the whole party affiliation for the justices.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like you can't tell me that you're going to be blindly deciding what's right or wrong for the legal system at the highest level mind you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But then you're publicly disclosing that you're affiliated with a party because if you're
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[SPEAKER_01]: then there's alignment that happens and the law, the blind law shouldn't have alignment, but back to the issue on the table.
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[SPEAKER_01]: There's not enough discussion in my opinion.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm only basing this off conversations I've had with other parents in our community and our circles.
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[SPEAKER_01]: There's almost a, I don't really want to have racial discussions with the children yet,
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[SPEAKER_01]: Uber mixed environments at school, like the communities that we live in, it's very diverse.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so perhaps they are very close with
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[SPEAKER_01]: other students and friends that look nothing like them, so they don't have anything relatable going on other than we are children at this school and we cool we friends, the biases haven't been necessarily introduced to a point where they're taking a stand on it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So imagine the dangers in the recklessness or neglect, even, that
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[SPEAKER_01]: you continue to exist in that mode and now especially raising a young black man we have young black sons that are actively in the introduction phase of manhood and life dealing them consequences that we can control right we're not there to do anything about it we all we can do is once they come back now we're almost a sounding board and an adjustment hey how did that go and now you have to
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[SPEAKER_01]: have these conversations about life, structure, things that aren't so perfect, not that you raise them delusional, that life and society was perfect, but you just didn't get into the grit and the grime of how some people out here really truly think and move and will do it to your face.
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[SPEAKER_01]: the neon conference that this comfort associated with that line of disrespect because now there's a level of disrespect and it'll press a button and wait a minute son you've been open up a whole another can of worms that we haven't discussed that your reaction to that they rented it throw you away for that the reaction is often called this and few episodes back we were talking about sometimes reactions have reactions and
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's when all bets are off, it is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of cases, you could be right about a thing somebody could have a different opinion about it and attack you in a way, whether it's physically or verbally.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And what you doing that moment, kind of right so, right, it's a check that you got to be willing to cash, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Even if it's wanted.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Some of you said that stuck out in terms of,
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[SPEAKER_00]: what children have seen, they're living through the lens of their lived experience, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, specifically, we live in the diverse community where we are right now, my children have lived overseas where their neighbors were from Egypt or the UK or all right, so they had a very young age, they had exposure to like beyond the cities that we lived in, the states that we lived in, and obviously the country as a whole, that was normal for them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and say normal for them, but that experience became part of their norm.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So they didn't go through life, experience and something one way in a particular location where tensions may or may not be a certain way, even just where I'm from, 757, 1.5 and 2.5 news specifically, there were parts of the surrounding, like within 10, 12 mile radius, my dad said, we're gonna go over there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't think too much about it wasn't a whole lot of conversation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: but I've never had to direct my children that way.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right, exactly.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like the translation of the experiences of generations past, like what is the duty and to what extent do we share those and ingrained those in our children, and to what extent do they adopt?
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[SPEAKER_00]: times from old into now, where they haven't actually lived in experience, right?
15:49.105 --> 15:53.966
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think all of his relevant light is there was a way that light was overtly.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It looks differently now, what still happens, maybe it's not as noticeable or as graphic as it once was in history books, though it is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've got to walk that back as it is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is becoming that it's becoming the movie of our life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's seeing these images
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[SPEAKER_00]: that way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Also to that extent, some of that has become desensitizing to them seeing it, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you can things can be so graphic that they become a norm, but until you've experienced that it doesn't actually hit you a register, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And what I don't want is them applying
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[SPEAKER_00]: a misinformed interpretation of a situation to something that somebody has shared with them about what's happened before, and that they can't negotiate how to maneuver in this moment.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I said, over the way gentlemen, a couple of times because with my mind went, my son's didn't.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because he hasn't lived in experience where that's really a consideration because, you know, this is, this keeps happening.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not suggesting that things need to keep happening, but patterns, right?
17:13.147 --> 17:28.370
[SPEAKER_00]: He has no pattern to reference that this person was discriminating, racist or what have you, or this person was having the bad day walked in and he was a server, right?
17:29.090 --> 17:36.832
[SPEAKER_00]: And it brought front of my like, how to have those conversations or continue those conversations
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[SPEAKER_00]: without prompting them to be away that they shouldn't be in the moment.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Because then you said in that statement is lens, I'm careful now that of what I project onto my sons, because of my past experiences.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But like you said to that point, my experiences aren't their experiences.
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[SPEAKER_01]: They'll see a situation and they'll get a totally different
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[SPEAKER_01]: reaction or observation of it.
18:09.576 --> 18:12.297
[SPEAKER_01]: Then me, I'm looking at it with a tenid lens.
18:12.537 --> 18:13.077
[SPEAKER_01]: It's loaded.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm looking for the undertone.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm looking for him.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Correct.
18:16.518 --> 18:18.199
[SPEAKER_01]: Correct.
18:19.459 --> 18:21.600
[SPEAKER_01]: So with that, I have to be mine for love.
18:22.602 --> 18:32.050
[SPEAKER_01]: In my making you aware, I don't want to load you with paranoia or you're seeking something that's not even there.
18:32.671 --> 18:45.361
[SPEAKER_01]: I put something in your lens that's not there, but also I think it's even more dangerous that that thing is happening and you're so naive to it that you don't realize it.
18:46.501 --> 19:10.867
[SPEAKER_01]: And things are progressing in a direction that you don't even see coming, because you just simply don't know that this is a real thing, this isn't on television, like you're standing in a moment of things that perhaps you've read about and things that are actively trying to be pulled from history, because it's so uncomfortable for those that imposed that discomfort.
19:12.477 --> 19:30.347
[SPEAKER_01]: now they don't want to deal with the discomfort of hearing about it, so now your access to learning the background of why certain mindsets all the way they are because that's the that's when you start to try to remove information information and data is very important.
19:31.047 --> 19:39.272
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm very attentive right now to how experts are ringing the alarm
19:40.210 --> 19:41.851
[SPEAKER_01]: We're in such a digital age.
19:42.551 --> 19:44.352
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't want anything on paper anymore.
19:44.692 --> 19:48.895
[SPEAKER_01]: The art of pen and paper is disappearing.
19:49.555 --> 19:53.217
[SPEAKER_01]: But if there's nothing written, I can change the narrative at will.
19:54.230 --> 19:58.674
[SPEAKER_01]: If it's digital, and you have to download this information.
19:59.614 --> 20:10.243
[SPEAKER_01]: If there's anything in that download or in that source programming or coding that I don't want to be there anymore, like I don't like how my audience has been receiving that portion of the coding.
20:11.355 --> 20:14.777
[SPEAKER_01]: But change the code here on out before this even goes out.
20:15.478 --> 20:17.239
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it expires and you have to renew.
20:17.459 --> 20:20.261
[SPEAKER_01]: So you now you have to, you don't have this information indefinitely.
20:20.962 --> 20:22.603
[SPEAKER_01]: I wipe it from all of everywhere.
20:22.623 --> 20:28.467
[SPEAKER_01]: And now I redistribute the version that I want to be the version.
20:29.347 --> 20:34.631
[SPEAKER_01]: And now you have no track record of accountability because it's not written anywhere.
20:35.151 --> 20:35.932
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have that.
20:41.997 --> 20:53.686
[SPEAKER_01]: But before we could read and write, the story telling and lessons of hand down, hand down, hand down through generation to generation, the accuracy and the importance of we're sitting around.
20:54.167 --> 21:10.960
[SPEAKER_01]: And there was a historian in the family that told you what the background and what the be, leary of, and it was embedded in you so that once you became of age to be exposed to these things, you weren't just blindly signing up for things and not knowing
21:12.162 --> 21:14.004
[SPEAKER_01]: the possibility of what you can be signing up for.
21:14.565 --> 21:26.738
[SPEAKER_00]: What was the conversation for you growing up, tree poor, in terms of how was your environment explained to you in terms of,
21:28.382 --> 21:30.824
[SPEAKER_00]: would exist where the tensions were there.
21:31.664 --> 21:32.665
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't go over here.
21:32.985 --> 21:34.026
[SPEAKER_00]: We belong over here.
21:34.106 --> 21:34.766
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
21:35.126 --> 21:35.947
[SPEAKER_00]: What was that like for you?
21:35.987 --> 21:36.867
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
21:37.008 --> 21:40.890
[SPEAKER_01]: And in my era and Shreeport was gang infested.
21:41.450 --> 21:43.992
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, and I do mean infestation.
21:44.552 --> 21:44.913
[SPEAKER_01]: It was.
21:46.020 --> 22:08.754
[SPEAKER_01]: All of the things you saw on like boys in the hood was out, New Jersey drive before they deleted the car scenes and all of these things are actively playing in the movie theaters, but these things were happening in our neighborhoods and I already grew up in the roughest of areas of town anyway, poverty stricken in a single mom home.
22:10.060 --> 22:14.305
[SPEAKER_01]: But there were areas that were even worse, believe it or not, than where we were.
22:14.865 --> 22:20.251
[SPEAKER_01]: We were in poverty with an exposure of crime.
22:21.212 --> 22:25.256
[SPEAKER_01]: But there were areas where the crime was just unbearable.
22:26.057 --> 22:28.339
[SPEAKER_01]: And those were the areas of, hey, listen.
22:29.821 --> 22:32.142
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't need you hanging out in this area.
22:32.482 --> 22:43.447
[SPEAKER_01]: The projects like anywhere, there's projects throughout the city, subsidized housing projects, you know, projects with some people don't know projects.
22:43.467 --> 22:47.208
[SPEAKER_01]: So, but we call the projects, it was, you know, government housing.
22:48.149 --> 22:50.630
[SPEAKER_01]: And of course, resources are low.
22:51.488 --> 23:13.349
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's gonna be more of a concentration possibility of the crime and transactions that could take place, gang activity, heavily on hate, my street, my block, my neighborhood, this side bang, this this side bangs, this this is what you don't come over here with certain colors and clothing on, you don't come over here using certain words.
23:13.649 --> 23:15.531
[SPEAKER_01]: That was a real thing in Shreeport.
23:16.091 --> 23:24.496
[SPEAKER_01]: So again, just like what you commonly would hear in an environment like that sports athletics, I'm 10 toes into sports.
23:24.976 --> 23:33.961
[SPEAKER_01]: So because I'm always at practice or I'm always at a program or I'm always in some extra curricular activity at the school, there's no spare time to be in the street.
23:34.161 --> 23:35.462
[SPEAKER_01]: I just didn't have it like that.
23:35.922 --> 23:38.604
[SPEAKER_01]: I squeezed what I could out of it because
23:40.102 --> 23:44.727
[SPEAKER_01]: a lot of the people you're growing up with relatives, family, cousins, their industries.
23:45.148 --> 23:48.551
[SPEAKER_01]: So when you go visit, during sitting in the house and they outside,
23:49.299 --> 23:54.180
[SPEAKER_01]: but you're still getting these lessons, but you're also getting the racism, the lessons as well.
23:54.580 --> 24:00.802
[SPEAKER_01]: There were parts of town that were told, hey man, you don't cross that bridge and go in the Boge city.
24:01.542 --> 24:06.623
[SPEAKER_01]: If that's, well, to this day, there's a stigma associated with, you're either from Shreveport or you're from Boge.
24:07.183 --> 24:14.885
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you cross that bridge back in the 80s and the 90s, you're almost certain to be pulled over and it's not gonna go well.
24:18.829 --> 24:34.394
[SPEAKER_00]: As you were explaining now, I'm thinking, absent the lessons about what the history is, or what the tensions were and dealing with the now, because a lot of parents understand that pressure of dealing with the now, what's in front of you, right?
24:34.434 --> 24:38.955
[SPEAKER_00]: You trying to guide them in some cases, keep them alive day to day in certain areas.
24:40.584 --> 24:43.787
[SPEAKER_00]: And some of that can start to say how you see your own people.
24:44.067 --> 25:02.164
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, if all of these people around look like you, some have different tendencies or different habits and behaviors, the other end of that spectrum is like almost being taught to think away or assume a thing about your own people, when you see them, right?
25:02.264 --> 25:05.507
[SPEAKER_00]: If you were only exposed to people that look like you,
25:06.387 --> 25:20.152
[SPEAKER_00]: and you've had negative experiences, not only negative experiences, but all of the negative experiences you've had from people that look like you sometimes that gets taken into and even as parents.
25:20.472 --> 25:26.034
[SPEAKER_00]: If the parent, that was you, if that was your experience growing up and you said,
25:33.397 --> 25:38.065
[SPEAKER_00]: kind of forecasted that belief or that understanding on to them.
25:38.365 --> 25:40.228
[SPEAKER_00]: And they start to see their people a certain way.
25:40.328 --> 25:40.548
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
25:40.809 --> 25:44.314
[SPEAKER_00]: Without the experience, it goes both ways.
25:44.595 --> 25:45.035
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think
25:47.731 --> 25:51.192
[SPEAKER_00]: We got to be mindful that we're probably teaching them one or the other.
25:52.032 --> 26:01.955
[SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, probably teaching them one or, and I don't have data people, and I know in your house it never worked like that and you would never, but the reality is, I did it.
26:02.255 --> 26:10.078
[SPEAKER_01]: The boy came in one, it's senior year high school, he coming to the house, it's towards the end of the year, so a lot of parties are happening everywhere.
26:10.738 --> 26:15.719
[SPEAKER_01]: So he coming to the house and he hit us with, hey, I'm going to the party at such a society town.
26:15.759 --> 26:19.480
[SPEAKER_01]: I hit him with the, oh, big fellow, what are you going?
26:20.740 --> 26:22.860
[SPEAKER_01]: Over to the, what I said?
26:23.560 --> 26:25.801
[SPEAKER_01]: And he told me, I said, hey, listen to me.
26:26.741 --> 26:27.721
[SPEAKER_01]: Not telling you, don't go.
26:28.681 --> 26:29.742
[SPEAKER_01]: But you need to be mindful.
26:29.842 --> 26:30.642
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going by yourself.
26:31.342 --> 26:33.782
[SPEAKER_01]: So I know, I mean, someone's such a such a scorn.
26:34.962 --> 26:37.543
[SPEAKER_01]: None of y'all have exposure to that life.
26:39.140 --> 26:41.543
[SPEAKER_01]: And I tell you I don't go here on the swivel.
26:42.924 --> 26:46.088
[SPEAKER_01]: Be focused, be mindful, because I can't shield you from the world.
26:47.036 --> 26:54.578
[SPEAKER_01]: But based on what you just said, the message and the tone, the undertone, which a lot of people will be like, that's valid, you told them something valid.
26:55.038 --> 26:57.099
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't care if it's green people over there.
26:57.719 --> 27:12.363
[SPEAKER_01]: If that area is notorious or has a stigma associated or a tone or history, if you will, that this type of thing takes place, and it's likely to be, you're making them aware
27:15.437 --> 27:28.263
[SPEAKER_01]: more so than a people, but imagine the historic relevance of even that, there are men, there are neighborhoods here in the Dallas area, Dallas, for the area.
27:28.723 --> 27:31.004
[SPEAKER_01]: It was the same way in part of Louisiana.
27:31.965 --> 27:35.086
[SPEAKER_01]: Those areas originally were affluent.
27:37.007 --> 27:41.069
[SPEAKER_01]: And through the years, things took place, things were implemented that
27:44.948 --> 27:51.156
[SPEAKER_01]: Also, the other thing is the trades and the things that those parents and grandparents were doing.
27:52.838 --> 27:55.781
[SPEAKER_01]: The children that come underneath, let's say, had a big shop.
27:56.822 --> 27:58.664
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the, this the family trade.
27:59.065 --> 28:01.348
[SPEAKER_01]: I built this home based on the money made in this.
28:02.690 --> 28:03.171
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to die.
28:03.211 --> 28:03.691
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm leaving.
28:03.971 --> 28:04.852
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm moving to New York.
28:04.872 --> 28:05.593
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm moving to Cali.
28:05.613 --> 28:05.893
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not.
28:05.953 --> 28:08.656
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not staying here running a big shop in Dallas.
28:08.676 --> 28:12.780
[SPEAKER_01]: They like, hey, so this what the family business is, this is what we're doing.
28:13.401 --> 28:13.701
[SPEAKER_01]: Not me.
28:13.741 --> 28:16.043
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm out or the influx of drugs.
28:16.864 --> 28:17.445
[SPEAKER_01]: So now.
28:18.965 --> 28:20.126
[SPEAKER_01]: It's behind on taxes.
28:20.866 --> 28:24.087
[SPEAKER_01]: That generation is no longer capable of providing for.
28:24.748 --> 28:27.229
[SPEAKER_01]: So now they are sickly or passed on.
28:27.929 --> 28:29.990
[SPEAKER_01]: And now the children have taken over the property.
28:30.631 --> 28:33.752
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not doing the upkeep, the maintenance, they're not paying the taxes.
28:34.873 --> 28:36.894
[SPEAKER_01]: And this isn't a slight at my people.
28:37.374 --> 28:38.695
[SPEAKER_01]: Or at the people in that area.
28:39.135 --> 28:40.495
[SPEAKER_01]: These are just the facts.
28:40.675 --> 28:45.558
[SPEAKER_01]: And as an investor, investors are coming in and say, what an opportunistic area.
28:46.488 --> 28:51.332
[SPEAKER_01]: There's 50 properties over here that could be snatched up for a little to nothing price.
28:52.432 --> 28:58.617
[SPEAKER_01]: They're leaning over their fallen apart, high crime drugs, and then it'll be gentrified.
28:59.057 --> 29:01.439
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the first word thrown around as gentrification.
29:02.960 --> 29:04.842
[SPEAKER_01]: And then we start to add these conversations.
29:05.888 --> 29:21.897
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, no, no, no, no, you sound like you're on the side of, no one on the side of progress, meaning I would much rather those who have the property already, if we find a means to educate and empower, so that you do have the means to go and rehab your own property.
29:22.357 --> 29:25.819
[SPEAKER_01]: There are programs and subsidiaries that provide and help.
29:26.619 --> 29:32.863
[SPEAKER_01]: We have to want it, though, because it's easier for an investor that already has those resources to come in and say,
29:34.052 --> 29:38.176
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's $10,000, give me all three of those, cause all three of them are $3,000 in the negative.
29:38.457 --> 29:39.237
[SPEAKER_01]: Give me all three of them.
29:39.578 --> 29:40.699
[SPEAKER_01]: You have a redemption period.
29:41.139 --> 29:47.806
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't even know what the redemption period is and if they do, if I haven't had the taxes for 10 years, I certainly don't have.
29:48.367 --> 29:52.551
[SPEAKER_01]: If I couldn't pay $300 a year in taxes to the point now, it's up to $3,000.
29:55.183 --> 30:00.706
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to get $3,000 right now in the next 18 to 24 months, highly unlikely.
30:01.147 --> 30:02.708
[SPEAKER_01]: So again, it's a rat race.
30:03.008 --> 30:05.129
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a trap of mindset.
30:06.810 --> 30:11.173
[SPEAKER_00]: We had an episode about, can I, can I, can I suns recognize danger, right?
30:11.253 --> 30:11.813
[SPEAKER_00]: We do.
30:12.754 --> 30:20.999
[SPEAKER_00]: And how we have a certain sensibility about us, or sensitivity to certain situations, certain areas because we have experience in those areas.
30:26.152 --> 30:31.636
[SPEAKER_00]: you don't want your children to experience those things, but how do they recognize those things?
30:33.197 --> 30:39.082
[SPEAKER_00]: So keeping them away from those areas, of those people, right?
30:39.182 --> 30:46.467
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is how it is, these are the terms that you write wrong or they're different.
30:47.188 --> 30:49.269
[SPEAKER_00]: As if they are something less than,
30:50.398 --> 30:56.381
[SPEAKER_00]: What we got going on over here, when they come to contact with those areas and people in life, right?
30:56.401 --> 30:59.642
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't even have to be like, just a related building.
30:59.882 --> 31:06.545
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, to have no understanding of where somebody came from.
31:07.466 --> 31:14.349
[SPEAKER_00]: Not somebody experienced, but just an understanding of the humanity associated with, or the lack of humanity they experienced as they were coming up.
31:15.029 --> 31:17.030
[SPEAKER_00]: And you meet them in the workforce, y'all the nail.
31:18.143 --> 31:28.571
[SPEAKER_00]: when you start the business again or you get your business owners and your employees at a certain place like that related billy to a degree.
31:29.372 --> 31:40.360
[SPEAKER_00]: I know it's lost on, I won't say it's lost on my children, but I struggle with like, how do you, how do you give them that?
31:40.480 --> 31:42.782
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't necessarily like, I didn't grow up in the hood.
31:47.541 --> 31:48.394
[SPEAKER_00]: It was just in the lore.
31:49.700 --> 31:52.601
[SPEAKER_00]: And it wasn't like, hey, let me go to the hood.
31:52.681 --> 31:53.101
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
31:53.141 --> 31:59.122
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, these are, these are people on cool with the live over here or the associated with something, or they know some people that live over here.
31:59.342 --> 31:59.622
[SPEAKER_01]: This.
32:00.102 --> 32:06.064
[SPEAKER_00]: And I started to learn about the areas that I had lived in all my life, not knowing what's going on.
32:06.124 --> 32:12.245
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't necessarily games in the sense that it is now, but neighborhoods, right neighborhoods.
32:12.445 --> 32:12.705
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
32:13.166 --> 32:15.186
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if you're from over here, you're there.
32:15.366 --> 32:18.527
[SPEAKER_00]: Hampton, Newport News has some issues for quite some time.
32:19.527 --> 32:28.397
[SPEAKER_00]: So generally, I wear those things, but the life that was my every day, that just wasn't the part of it.
32:28.637 --> 32:28.857
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
32:29.277 --> 32:38.147
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm I'm glad that I got to get that exposure and go to public school and understand life beyond the lens of my house and it wasn't.
32:39.757 --> 32:42.438
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't that my parents thought they were better at all.
32:42.718 --> 32:47.640
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, me and my sister first generation out of who my parents were projects.
32:47.740 --> 32:50.241
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, see, like very much projects.
32:50.261 --> 32:56.783
[SPEAKER_00]: So they were, is that transition of being able to have access to a better life.
32:57.884 --> 33:06.907
[SPEAKER_00]: And now you're having children and you want every generation to get better, but that conversation, it definitely wasn't.
33:09.735 --> 33:12.016
[SPEAKER_00]: I shouldn't say it wasn't, it wasn't heavy in my house.
33:12.076 --> 33:16.659
[SPEAKER_00]: If I asked, I think, you know, my dad love telling stories.
33:16.679 --> 33:18.600
[SPEAKER_00]: If anybody knows my father, he's a storyteller.
33:20.661 --> 33:26.303
[SPEAKER_00]: But when I met my father, he was on the other side of grace and given his life feeling.
33:26.324 --> 33:27.204
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, bless his name.
33:27.244 --> 33:28.465
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, sir.
33:28.505 --> 33:31.206
[SPEAKER_00]: We go see, we go see the best in that and the whole lot of things.
33:31.226 --> 33:31.746
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, sir.
33:32.367 --> 33:34.808
[SPEAKER_00]: There was, there was, there wasn't really a tone of.
33:36.488 --> 33:48.440
[SPEAKER_00]: There are people out there to get you like overtly, yeah, but there were moments where in him weren't for the same company and the man is in a hat.
33:49.540 --> 33:50.941
[SPEAKER_00]: We had to have some conversation about him.
33:50.961 --> 33:54.864
[SPEAKER_01]: He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:54.884 --> 33:56.766
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't, doesn't matter how good you are.
33:57.426 --> 34:05.692
[SPEAKER_00]: He's old school, very white, like very antiquated, thoughts about things and you're going to be just a certain way.
34:05.932 --> 34:07.674
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's not right, but it's okay.
34:08.695 --> 34:12.057
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I mean by the whole is, it's not right, but it's okay.
34:13.298 --> 34:15.420
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not okay that the wrong thing happened,
34:18.662 --> 34:19.262
[SPEAKER_00]: not react.
34:20.203 --> 34:20.643
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay.
34:20.804 --> 34:21.284
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me say this.
34:21.344 --> 34:33.513
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay for you to react appropriately because I also don't want these dots out children that end by in all things and all things if anything they're dormant.
34:35.034 --> 34:41.118
[SPEAKER_00]: No, if if anything, I don't want that but the lesson has to be complete.
34:42.280 --> 34:50.986
[SPEAKER_00]: It can't be all, you know, we raised and held them on somebody causes out our name or, or, or tries to play us in a certain position.
34:51.166 --> 34:55.508
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, but also, people can't play with you continuously.
34:58.290 --> 35:04.814
[SPEAKER_00]: Can I, like, would it, would you stand on the, like, does it only take one time?
35:05.815 --> 35:08.577
[SPEAKER_00]: Or do you need to see a pattern or how do you, like, how do you even,
35:10.009 --> 35:20.251
[SPEAKER_00]: evaluate what's appropriate in that moment because for that person creating that moment that could be their intent that could be their motive.
35:21.772 --> 35:27.113
[SPEAKER_00]: It could also be your first experience with that person and with anybody having that kind of motive.
35:28.113 --> 35:33.154
[SPEAKER_00]: So in the moment like would you and being careful not
35:39.058 --> 35:50.503
[SPEAKER_01]: There's so much, there's so much in all of that because the biggest thing that that that calls out to me through experience, I went through phases of progression.
35:52.864 --> 36:00.867
[SPEAKER_01]: I was too hyper ready to correct incorrects as dangerous, especially in these days.
36:04.644 --> 36:07.526
[SPEAKER_01]: is because I had the background and exposure of the fullerie.
36:08.006 --> 36:15.471
[SPEAKER_01]: Just like you said, I'm the last generation of my household that actually was in the projects.
36:15.991 --> 36:27.919
[SPEAKER_01]: Like my wife grew up in the projects and her first few years of her life and the end they kind of moved up the ladder, you know, like her teen years.
36:29.400 --> 36:30.801
[SPEAKER_01]: My child who had projects
36:33.733 --> 36:49.456
[SPEAKER_01]: they skipped, they skipped a step, so now, the prayer of the past conversation, we had about how do they recognize, how do we teach, how do we hide and they're aware of this?
36:49.516 --> 36:55.717
[SPEAKER_01]: And because there's such a person issue, because there's no right or wrong, I'm always seeking perspective.
36:57.457 --> 37:01.338
[SPEAKER_01]: And an interesting perspective was shared with me about that very topic.
37:02.503 --> 37:11.805
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was, I'm raising my children to never need to be able to thrive in such a situation.
37:13.666 --> 37:16.626
[SPEAKER_01]: So, I get the premise in the theory.
37:18.447 --> 37:20.307
[SPEAKER_01]: Life can be harsh.
37:21.428 --> 37:22.528
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's say I'm,
37:24.090 --> 37:35.604
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm practicing or training my entire life to be at a certain level, and something in life lands me below that level for whatever reason, be a temporary long term.
37:36.546 --> 37:40.550
[SPEAKER_01]: Imagine I never ever even made the attempt.
37:41.476 --> 37:49.441
[SPEAKER_01]: to get myself aware or to where I can tolerate that even for a time being or understand it or even understand it.
37:49.982 --> 37:54.225
[SPEAKER_01]: A good analogy would be how you have student athletes.
37:54.765 --> 38:04.071
[SPEAKER_01]: They were groomed from the time they began to walk to the time they graduated high school through college even to be a top tier athlete and they succeeded.
38:04.251 --> 38:04.872
[SPEAKER_01]: It was amazing.
38:04.892 --> 38:06.033
[SPEAKER_01]: They they're the best
38:09.815 --> 38:21.640
[SPEAKER_01]: they blow out and have a medical injury, they never took time to learn anything, they didn't read anything, zero education, zero skill craft, understand nothing.
38:21.680 --> 38:23.601
[SPEAKER_01]: The only thing they did was that sport.
38:24.141 --> 38:29.543
[SPEAKER_01]: And now they have to start from ground zero in the trenches of trying to learn that thing.
38:30.004 --> 38:34.025
[SPEAKER_01]: So now if I'm only trained in for the level, that's a bit extreme.
38:34.626 --> 38:34.726
[SPEAKER_01]: But
38:39.402 --> 38:44.244
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't raise their children to be able to function at a surface level.
38:45.184 --> 38:59.749
[SPEAKER_01]: They're sending them to certain academies, certain educational institutions, certain circles, certain clubs, even if financially you're on that level, whatever level you're on, typically your goal has been to level your children up.
39:00.229 --> 39:01.590
[SPEAKER_01]: So if I'm trying to end them up,
39:03.028 --> 39:11.295
[SPEAKER_01]: some are using that as an excuse or a reason or justification if you will to not even have the conversation as though that exists.
39:12.035 --> 39:16.659
[SPEAKER_01]: To me, that's dangerous in a bit reckless because I'm you're not that far removed.
39:17.967 --> 39:23.510
[SPEAKER_01]: your dead, which is me, lived in that, thrived in it and had to survive in that.
39:23.550 --> 39:32.414
[SPEAKER_01]: I told you, I didn't know I was poor until I became an adult and moved away and look back on my life and realized I was heavily embedded in the have nights.
39:33.055 --> 39:43.940
[SPEAKER_01]: And I applaud my surroundings for that because imagine the miserable child who I would have had if I was aware of what I was living was deemed
39:45.432 --> 39:46.813
[SPEAKER_01]: unsat, if you will.
39:47.374 --> 40:02.627
[SPEAKER_01]: So now the conversations I have with my children, because if you're not careful, they'll make reckless statements without knowing how reckless it is because it's such an innocent true to heart, like we both live in multi-level homes.
40:03.928 --> 40:04.789
[SPEAKER_01]: And we traveled.
40:04.829 --> 40:06.050
[SPEAKER_01]: My kids were young, man,
40:13.236 --> 40:15.937
[SPEAKER_01]: We went somewhere, let's say, to a friend or relative's house.
40:15.977 --> 40:16.977
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was one story.
40:17.417 --> 40:18.057
[SPEAKER_01]: Beautiful.
40:19.538 --> 40:31.581
[SPEAKER_01]: And so my son, innocent youth, says, hey, if you don't have multi levels in your house, or he didn't say it like that, they don't have enough stairs, does that mean they're poor?
40:33.581 --> 40:38.104
[SPEAKER_01]: I was embarrassed, he didn't set out live, but I was embarrassed that he even thought that.
40:38.685 --> 40:41.747
[SPEAKER_01]: I said, hey, hey, hey, hey, one absolutely not.
40:42.047 --> 40:43.008
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not what that means.
40:43.989 --> 40:52.435
[SPEAKER_01]: Two, because the first thing one will think is, is that how y'all talk over at the house, like the absolute not, we have financial,
40:53.115 --> 40:54.556
[SPEAKER_01]: discussions with our children.
40:54.916 --> 41:04.623
[SPEAKER_01]: So obviously perhaps this foreign six year old was sitting in the room at a time that we're talking to that older brother of the his about life and finance and money and things of that nature.
41:05.203 --> 41:10.166
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's how you'll hear the words of poor or thrive or whatever the case.
41:10.567 --> 41:15.770
[SPEAKER_01]: So now, I guess you're using this doesn't look a certain way.
41:16.811 --> 41:17.832
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm used to this being
41:19.139 --> 41:27.002
[SPEAKER_01]: different than what this looks like, does that equate to this financially valid question, but absolutely not.
41:27.042 --> 41:37.225
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm glad you asked because that showed me I need to double down on the communication early about things like that when you see this or if you see a homeless person.
41:38.060 --> 41:42.403
[SPEAKER_01]: there's still a level of humanity that you must possess.
41:42.423 --> 41:53.851
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't write them off a discard that human being because of what you physically see in front of you or you've already determined what this person has going on financially or the decisions they made.
41:54.551 --> 41:56.312
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't discard this human being, man.
41:56.332 --> 42:01.195
[SPEAKER_01]: You're all mean, look at this lazy guy chose to, you don't know what that person's life he'll.
42:01.556 --> 42:04.538
[SPEAKER_01]: So I feel like those conversations assist
42:05.468 --> 42:07.249
[SPEAKER_01]: with that awareness to your point.
42:07.389 --> 42:08.310
[SPEAKER_01]: You know how you were saying?
42:08.670 --> 42:09.651
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you make ready?
42:09.691 --> 42:11.392
[SPEAKER_01]: What conversations would you have?
42:11.452 --> 42:14.334
[SPEAKER_01]: I do you have to whether or not a door mat.
42:14.974 --> 42:16.835
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's active conversations.
42:16.875 --> 42:22.859
[SPEAKER_01]: And when you see in a thing, turning to your key is like, hey, hey, that, did you just see XYZ?
42:23.359 --> 42:24.080
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes or I saw it.
42:24.440 --> 42:25.361
[SPEAKER_01]: What you got out of that?
42:25.661 --> 42:27.202
[SPEAKER_01]: I try to lead with that a lot.
42:27.222 --> 42:28.483
[SPEAKER_01]: If I see something publicly,
42:29.063 --> 42:34.545
[SPEAKER_01]: because obviously the lives that we live or the circles we travel in, there's a lot of things that we won't see.
42:35.066 --> 42:42.549
[SPEAKER_01]: So when we do see a VM TV or if we're traveling, and now that population is far different,
42:43.538 --> 42:45.039
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, hey, hey, look around right quick.
42:45.059 --> 42:46.120
[SPEAKER_01]: Turn that off.
42:46.160 --> 42:47.061
[SPEAKER_01]: Turn that music down.
42:47.461 --> 42:50.424
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk about something that's whispered around it by right now.
42:50.584 --> 42:50.784
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
42:50.964 --> 42:53.226
[SPEAKER_01]: Right now, this guy's coming up to this truck right now.
42:53.726 --> 42:55.288
[SPEAKER_01]: And I told him, no, no, no, no, no, thank you.
42:55.768 --> 42:58.010
[SPEAKER_00]: And my wife's like, why are you getting you talked to the guy?
42:58.050 --> 42:58.891
[SPEAKER_00]: See what he needs?
42:59.791 --> 43:02.233
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, we don't live here.
43:02.253 --> 43:03.595
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what's going on.
43:03.695 --> 43:04.335
[SPEAKER_01]: Great all went on.
43:04.415 --> 43:04.856
[SPEAKER_01]: Brader.
43:05.056 --> 43:05.296
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
43:06.197 --> 43:07.518
[SPEAKER_00]: The other piece of that is,
43:10.072 --> 43:16.234
[SPEAKER_00]: In our time, the narrative was more easily controlled because your environment was your world.
43:17.955 --> 43:20.916
[SPEAKER_00]: Now the world is there in the Bible.
43:20.976 --> 43:21.696
[SPEAKER_00]: That is a fact.
43:21.736 --> 43:22.296
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a fact.
43:22.516 --> 43:25.317
[SPEAKER_00]: And they can go to a million sources.
43:25.457 --> 43:27.818
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody's a credible source if they say it online.
43:27.958 --> 43:28.778
[SPEAKER_00]: They're all right.
43:28.858 --> 43:31.019
[SPEAKER_00]: And enough people agree with them.
43:31.099 --> 43:34.120
[SPEAKER_00]: Every fool that's thought will find this tribe I said that several times.
43:34.160 --> 43:34.420
[SPEAKER_00]: This.
43:35.291 --> 43:38.212
[SPEAKER_00]: that was a video that went viral.
43:38.692 --> 43:41.093
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I saw it within the last few days.
43:42.753 --> 43:47.815
[SPEAKER_00]: And the version that I saw started in the middle of the actual altercation.
43:47.955 --> 43:49.235
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it was bad.
43:49.495 --> 43:50.516
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it was bad.
43:50.616 --> 43:57.758
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a man putting his hand like literally whipping a woman with something like in the middle of the street.
43:58.878 --> 44:01.459
[SPEAKER_00]: And the video started there, right?
44:02.966 --> 44:06.189
[SPEAKER_00]: caveat, there is no escalation to that in my mind.
44:06.309 --> 44:26.607
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no, so what I'm about to say isn't going to make sense of that, yeah, also when they show the full video, another version of it, because I don't ultimately know what the whole source of truth is, it's show what she did to instigate it and putting her hands on the person, right, again.
44:28.245 --> 44:30.306
[SPEAKER_00]: Defending yourself getting somebody off of you.
44:30.726 --> 44:41.689
[SPEAKER_00]: I understand that where and will where it was in the video He clearly forgot she was a woman Yeah, so there's never and it's used for that.
44:41.789 --> 44:42.149
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
44:42.649 --> 44:54.733
[SPEAKER_00]: I use that because it's a polarizing argument or or scenario example of How quickly
44:56.540 --> 45:01.884
[SPEAKER_00]: a truth can be decided based on absence of facts.
45:03.985 --> 45:08.168
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I looked at it and a lot of people now, I just came from the comments, right?
45:08.208 --> 45:08.768
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the thing.
45:08.788 --> 45:14.813
[SPEAKER_00]: And you start the feed into the group think of where everybody saw it this way.
45:15.093 --> 45:15.893
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
45:15.913 --> 45:20.256
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, that particular example, no excuse for the level that it got to.
45:20.557 --> 45:20.757
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
45:21.577 --> 45:23.318
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, there was an introduction.
45:24.394 --> 45:32.338
[SPEAKER_00]: to the altercation that it didn't appear to that person's thought it and you could plug in with every scenario you want to not yourself with that.
45:33.719 --> 45:41.504
[SPEAKER_00]: But bandwagon mentality about a thing that you don't understand, right?
45:43.104 --> 45:46.166
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm okay and it's not even a matter of me being okay with the adult
45:52.147 --> 45:54.628
[SPEAKER_00]: because you know enough to feel strongly about a thing.
45:55.649 --> 45:56.629
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I was going to ask you.
45:56.669 --> 45:59.170
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, because you know enough to feel strongly about a thing.
45:59.770 --> 46:14.597
[SPEAKER_00]: And also, if more information, more truth is introduced to you, their reshapes, how that situation actually unfolded, you need to be on the side of what actually happened this.
46:15.537 --> 46:16.738
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to be on the side of
46:18.917 --> 46:23.018
[SPEAKER_00]: forming an opinion based on what actually happened, right?
46:23.158 --> 46:26.759
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't attach your opinion to the opinions of others.
46:26.840 --> 46:30.581
[SPEAKER_00]: And now you're in the middle of a movement, you don't actually understand.
46:31.161 --> 46:32.321
[SPEAKER_00]: And it could be the right thing.
46:32.661 --> 46:32.881
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
46:33.622 --> 46:34.622
[SPEAKER_00]: But why are you in?
46:34.922 --> 46:35.562
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you there?
46:35.682 --> 46:36.543
[SPEAKER_00]: Why are you in it?
46:36.643 --> 46:43.145
[SPEAKER_00]: And that makes me very cautious about the young ones
46:45.982 --> 46:49.963
[SPEAKER_00]: It's more of their life at this stage and the ones of the older children's had the same stage.
46:51.663 --> 46:53.023
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, access, progression.
46:53.063 --> 46:53.324
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
46:53.344 --> 46:55.024
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
46:55.124 --> 46:58.145
[SPEAKER_00]: And the decentralization is even greater now.
46:58.285 --> 47:02.826
[SPEAKER_00]: And that doesn't mean I leave everything the chance is gonna be what it's gonna be.
47:03.966 --> 47:06.926
[SPEAKER_00]: But information is coming at them face, right?
47:07.146 --> 47:13.368
[SPEAKER_00]: And the less you know about the opinions they formed, it even worse why they formed those opinions.
47:15.864 --> 47:20.646
[SPEAKER_00]: defend themselves, the situations that they might not be suited for, right?
47:20.686 --> 47:33.372
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the other piece of it is feeling a way about a thing publicly now opens you up to criticism, attack.
47:34.332 --> 47:36.813
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's not to see that at a younger and younger
47:41.622 --> 47:55.630
[SPEAKER_00]: It's concerned to give an climate, given that we're coming up on it like every time we get closer to election cycles, you start to see the how light the separation is is how light it greater.
47:55.650 --> 47:57.211
[SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't exist the whole time.
47:57.531 --> 48:01.033
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's played up, you know, candidate versus candidate party versus party is.
48:01.894 --> 48:09.858
[SPEAKER_00]: And if we're not careful, our children will blindly attach themselves to one thing
48:11.335 --> 48:14.678
[SPEAKER_00]: or be completely apathetic about all of it to what they believe.
48:16.419 --> 48:16.859
[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't matter.
48:17.500 --> 48:18.901
[SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna be what it's gonna be, right?
48:19.161 --> 48:26.066
[SPEAKER_00]: And I can't, I can't front like that one of phases where I didn't see the value in the process, right?
48:26.547 --> 48:39.837
[SPEAKER_00]: Because of limited exposure and only understanding a very small fraction of a thing or understanding the events about a thing and not what the structure is and how to make changes and how to,
48:41.603 --> 48:44.324
[SPEAKER_00]: how to turn the ocean line in ocean.
48:44.404 --> 48:49.407
[SPEAKER_01]: I worked to this day on trying to see gun to stand in before I open my mouth about it.
48:50.087 --> 48:53.909
[SPEAKER_01]: Because again, my passion is my passion.
48:54.870 --> 49:04.535
[SPEAKER_01]: So I have to be, I have to be guarded enough to wear something don't, don't trick, but initiate my passion.
49:05.616 --> 49:09.798
[SPEAKER_01]: Because once it's home, I gotta hurry up and go get some understanding.
49:10.625 --> 49:15.648
[SPEAKER_01]: because I'm gonna say something, let me make sure what I'm looking at is what I'm looking at.
49:16.228 --> 49:20.370
[SPEAKER_01]: And, and there's even still a danger associated with that.
49:21.030 --> 49:25.092
[SPEAKER_01]: It's too new perhaps for all the details and facts to be released.
49:25.853 --> 49:33.697
[SPEAKER_01]: So imagine you've already opened your mouth and taken a stance under the realized later as more information is available.
49:34.597 --> 49:36.358
[SPEAKER_01]: You're standing on the wrong side of the fence,
49:38.674 --> 49:40.455
[SPEAKER_01]: You're saying it with your chest.
49:41.515 --> 49:45.556
[SPEAKER_01]: Only to find out you're absolutely going against your own brain.
49:47.277 --> 49:55.160
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's disheartening because now you're so reactive and ridded to react and ridded for the world and know your opinion.
49:55.880 --> 49:59.201
[SPEAKER_01]: And again, that's a part of modern day society as well.
50:01.502 --> 50:03.963
[SPEAKER_01]: Every thought is not meant to be shared.
50:05.682 --> 50:16.157
[SPEAKER_01]: And your best best thing you can do that works for me is to have someone you can talk to and say whatever you want.
50:17.719 --> 50:19.101
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's y'all talking.
50:19.970 --> 50:25.795
[SPEAKER_01]: The conversations we have when these cameras are off and the microphones are off and the room is empty.
50:26.596 --> 50:34.382
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know the things that I am going to say aren't going to be judged the certain way because, you know who I am, you know what I stand down.
50:35.103 --> 50:45.732
[SPEAKER_01]: So I can have the days of objective conversations for the sake of a conversation, even though it's perhaps if we agree or not agree, that's not my intent.
50:45.752 --> 50:47.693
[SPEAKER_01]: My intent is not to sway you.
50:48.540 --> 50:50.842
[SPEAKER_01]: I just gotta get this out, I wanna talk.
50:51.762 --> 50:52.623
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I'm for the talk.
50:52.963 --> 51:01.569
[SPEAKER_01]: And so once you talk, it's dangerous now though, because now I'm actively trying to teach my kids don't be so quick to talk publicly.
51:02.530 --> 51:03.110
[SPEAKER_01]: It'll harm you.
51:04.391 --> 51:06.513
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd be careful, careful.
51:07.453 --> 51:08.774
[SPEAKER_01]: You can be absolutely right.
51:09.655 --> 51:16.540
[SPEAKER_01]: You can be absolutely right to yourself, but you'll walk and talk yourself right out of a situation later in life.
51:17.717 --> 51:19.498
[SPEAKER_01]: There are things I'm doing now publicly.
51:19.538 --> 51:25.222
[SPEAKER_01]: I never would have thought that I'd never thought I'd be in the public eye.
51:25.403 --> 51:28.104
[SPEAKER_01]: In no shape form or fashion, no capacity.
51:28.365 --> 51:30.306
[SPEAKER_01]: Once athletics was over, I was like, that's it.
51:30.826 --> 51:32.167
[SPEAKER_01]: I've never been the public eye now.
51:33.528 --> 51:34.449
[SPEAKER_01]: And now here we are.
51:34.569 --> 51:44.116
[SPEAKER_01]: So imagine some of the things that we've done over our lifetime, carry yourself like you're going to be the president one day, people.
52:02.613 --> 52:05.014
[SPEAKER_00]: that could be questionable, right?
52:05.174 --> 52:05.515
[SPEAKER_00]: It is.
52:06.115 --> 52:07.356
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you being discriminated against?
52:07.556 --> 52:08.936
[SPEAKER_00]: Is this overt racism?
52:09.497 --> 52:14.780
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, how do you teach them to be aware of things that they didn't experience or see you experience?
52:15.480 --> 52:26.246
[SPEAKER_00]: Let us know in the comments what those conversations are like, I'm interested in how this conversation can evolve over, over time.
52:26.386 --> 52:29.328
[SPEAKER_00]: As we have additional thoughts on it, additional guests
52:30.310 --> 52:41.536
[SPEAKER_00]: But at that, a very timely, again, it was a great lesson for him in terms of the guy left and your move was impacted the rest of the day.
52:42.917 --> 52:45.418
[SPEAKER_00]: And for a lot of people that's the win, right?
52:46.559 --> 52:51.542
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't control how people approach you, how they think about you.
52:52.582 --> 52:56.743
[SPEAKER_00]: But what you're doing that moment carries a lot of weight and I wanted to be aware of that again.
52:56.823 --> 53:02.404
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd be a door mat, this is not free rain, the goal, test anybody in my house.
53:03.724 --> 53:10.345
[SPEAKER_00]: But tomorrow, would you still have done the same thing?
53:11.365 --> 53:21.367
[SPEAKER_00]: 10 years from now, 10 years from now is a stretch because you're a different person, but like you said, think about that page of your file being plucked
53:24.569 --> 53:28.732
[SPEAKER_00]: chances are, you may not be as cool as you, as you think you are.
53:29.452 --> 53:30.313
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you got any clothes, man?
53:30.773 --> 53:31.694
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, then closing.
53:33.836 --> 53:39.040
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a level of control that you hand over when you're so easily triggered by something.
53:40.081 --> 53:41.422
[SPEAKER_01]: It could absolutely affect you.
53:42.625 --> 53:45.869
[SPEAKER_01]: But the person that's doing the effecting doesn't have to know.
53:47.190 --> 53:49.993
[SPEAKER_01]: It affected you or to what extent it affected you.
53:50.694 --> 53:54.638
[SPEAKER_01]: Perhaps, internally, your blood can be boiling.
53:56.100 --> 53:59.283
[SPEAKER_01]: That person never knew so perhaps they'll never try that or do that again.
53:59.944 --> 54:00.885
[SPEAKER_01]: But if you show them,
54:02.639 --> 54:04.580
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the self-destruct button.
54:05.900 --> 54:10.341
[SPEAKER_01]: They know exactly which button to press in order to get that reaction or response out of you.
54:10.841 --> 54:14.282
[SPEAKER_01]: You can best bet and believe they're gonna put that button in their pocket.
54:15.202 --> 54:21.104
[SPEAKER_01]: And every time they get ready for that entertainment, that show, they come to press that button.
54:21.624 --> 54:27.406
[SPEAKER_01]: So just be mindful of at-wood calls that you give that level of control of yourself over the somebody else.
54:28.426 --> 54:29.366
[SPEAKER_00]: I was saying close the map.
54:29.386 --> 54:30.847
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't be mindful of the opinions
54:34.573 --> 54:35.613
[SPEAKER_00]: valid though they are.
54:35.894 --> 54:39.795
[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure they understand the context of how you arrived there.
54:40.235 --> 54:43.677
[SPEAKER_00]: This because just feeding them a piece of, I don't fool with them.
54:44.497 --> 54:47.098
[SPEAKER_00]: They always this, they never did.
54:47.578 --> 54:48.618
[SPEAKER_00]: That's very important, right?
54:49.559 --> 54:55.661
[SPEAKER_00]: Those become the foundation of how they started shaped their thoughts until they get to a big age and started doing some things.
54:55.681 --> 54:57.242
[SPEAKER_00]: So, um,
54:58.486 --> 55:00.808
[SPEAKER_00]: Then that's what we're going in, man.
55:01.008 --> 55:02.309
[SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate this conversation.
55:02.329 --> 55:03.290
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you do as well.
55:04.090 --> 55:09.014
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're still here, tell the thousand of your closest friends.
55:09.094 --> 55:10.295
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, all thousand of them.
55:10.435 --> 55:12.517
[SPEAKER_00]: A thousand of your closest friends are about this show.
55:13.497 --> 55:18.381
[SPEAKER_00]: And have them tell a thousand of their closest friends that we're going to be exactly what we need to be.
55:18.621 --> 55:21.904
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to look up and we'll all be in the same room and laugh in the second hands about it.
55:21.944 --> 55:22.904
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly what we need to be.
55:22.924 --> 55:24.305
[SPEAKER_00]: That's going to do it for this episode.
55:24.446 --> 55:25.426
[SPEAKER_00]: We appreciate your guys.
55:25.446 --> 55:26.167
[SPEAKER_00]: God bless you, peace.