212: Evolve and Transform to Be Your True Self with Rachel Graham

This week's Misfit Entrepreneur is Rachel Graham. Rachel is the CEO and Founder of Evolve and Transform and Co-Founder of Healing Springs Ranch, a treatment facility for addiction that bridges mental health, trauma and addiction by treating the entire person both physiologically and psychologically. Evolve and Transform is an international speaking and coaching platform that helps business leaders, teams and individuals reach their optimal performance and purpose.

Rachel is a not just a successful entrepreneur, but a TEDx speaker and renowned resource and speaker for YPO, as well as a member. To be a member, you must have a business that does over $10 million annually in revenue.

I asked Rachel to come on today, not just to talk about her entrepreneur journey, but to share her best advice on how to care for your mental health and well-being.

www.healingspringsranch.com

www.evolveandtransform.me

Rachel had the perfect life. Perfect marriage, perfect family, job, etc. She had it all together, but in less than 24 hours, it all unraveled when it was uncovered that there was an addiction problem in her family. As her world began to unravel, it took an even worse turn with other things happening like her family dog passing away, she was ni the process of leaving her current business.

She had a profound moment as she was driving to her house and the babysitter called her to tell her that her house was flooding. She got home, looked at everything, and just lost it. She had a moment with God where she just screamed and fell to her knees in two inches of water screaming "Why? Why? Why?" It was in that moment that she had a transformation, as if the hand of God was picking her up and telling her "You're going to be alright,. I'm trying to show you something."

She felt it through her being and in that moment realized that she needed to evolve and transform. She immediately went and bought the domain name as she knew she had a mission.

Where do people start when they need to pull themselves out of these dark times? What is the starting point?

• At the heart of addiction or trauma is pain.
• Unresolved emotions and pain are at the core of things that need to be confronted.
• Many times the addiction is a way to escape deep emotional pain.
• Addiction is not the issue – it is what gets people in trouble, but the issue is much deeper.

Talk about confronting pain…

• "We are sick as the secrets we keep."
• We can only oppress things so long – but they will come out.
• It manifests differently for people, but it does come out.

What should people do to start the process of confronting pain?

• It requires a level of vulnerability.
• People shy away from being vulnerable, but it is one of the most healthy and strongest things we can do.
• It allows us to connect at a deeper level.
• Open up to someone you trust and have the conversation.
• Guilt vs. Shame. Guilt is when you feel bad. Shame is a belief that there is something bad in you and you don't deserve your life.
• Talk to friends, counselors, and get help. Open up and learn how to be vulnerable.
• It is liberating to be your true self and let people see who you are.

Are people afraid to show their true self?

• Yes, because as a society we are conditioned to put our best foot forward and come off as perfect and in certain ways.
• Even entrepreneurs – we are supposed to be successful and when we fail it is so hard because we are not willing to admit we are not the picture society says we should be.

How important is it to find meaning and purpose? Where does it fit in?

• It fits in when you stop trying to control everything.
• We must be honest about our gifts and be real about our talents and what we are truly exceptional at.
• That is where meaning and purpose lies – in focusing on those gifts and using them to their fullest extent – you begin to fire on all cylinders.
• Don't be something you are not or keep trying to be something you are not. It hinders your ability to succeed. Accept who you are and be clear on what you are good at and what you are not.

Talk about compulsive behavior and how we can use it for good and control it in our lives…

• We all have compulsive behaviors as human beings.
• Compulsive behaviors are there to serve a business.
• They are there to soothe us or help us with coping.
• But they can get out of hand.
• If your compulsive behavior begins to cause relationship, financial, health problems, and so on, it is becoming an issue.
• Otherwise, they can be useful to us.
• The biggest coping mechanism for entrepreneurs is "workaholism." Sometimes it is too escape other areas of our lives, or ego, etc. it is a powerful drug that we have to be careful not to use too much.

Explain "You can't level up if you are tethered down…"

• It can be external or internal.
• Internal is the hardest.
• When we tether ourselves down with baggage in ourselves, you cannot go to your next level.
• You have to let go and just be authentic and good with yourself.
• If you feel like you cannot get to the next level, look inside and see what is holding your back. Maybe it is a skill set to learn or something you have to confront – whatever it is, you need to overcome it and level up.
• Don't be scared of the next level.

What is it that you see consistently in top entrepreneurs that keeps them at that top of their game?

• They remove ego. They know their self-worth and don't fake it or use ego to mask insecurity. Be high integrity.
• They actively listen and know they aren't always the smartest person in the room. Receive the gifts others can give you to help you.
• They have a learner mindset, not a knower mindset.

Who inspires you? Where do you get wisdom and advice?

• People. Connecting with people. That is inspiring.
• Every person you meet has something they can give you or leave you with.
• Rachel tells a great story about leaning the Tango and someone saying to her "You'll learn more about yourself than you will about the dance." She never saw the person again.
• During dance training, she saw how she could not let go of things and when she stopped trying to control things, she was able to Tango much better and could pick up the steps.
• Don't miss the moment when you meet people.

Best Quote: "We are sick as the secrets we keep..."

Rachel's Misfit 3:

1. You cannot level up if you are tethered down. Look at yourself and remove what is holding you back.
2. Meaning and purpose can come out of the darkest moments. Be grateful because these moments are a big reveal for us.
3. The power to change is a mindset. You control your victim to creator mindset. Become a creator and be powerful vs. powerless. Make the world happen for you.

Show Sponsors:

Fundrise: www.Fundrise.com/Misfit

5 Minute Journal: www.MisfitEntrepreneur.com/Journal