WEBVTT
1
00:00:03.919 --> 00:00:12.400
You are now about to witness the
strength of street knowledge. You're listening to
2
00:00:12.519 --> 00:00:16.199
dad's with Swag, where your coach
Shawn has the tools to help you navigate
3
00:00:16.280 --> 00:00:20.160
some of life's ups and downs.
Let's do it. Whether you're trying to
4
00:00:20.199 --> 00:00:23.719
balance work in life, going through
a difficult time in marriage or trying to
5
00:00:23.760 --> 00:00:27.679
manifest that perfect mate, Shawn can
get you from where you are to where
6
00:00:27.679 --> 00:00:32.159
you want to be. Loving husband
and dadded two amazing girls. Your coach
7
00:00:32.200 --> 00:00:35.640
Shaun can help you Trin your dreams
into goals and make them a reality.
8
00:00:36.119 --> 00:00:40.240
No more faking change. Is kind
of start making change with the swaggy's out
9
00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:59.479
of them all. Your coach Seawan
is yeah, welcome back to another episode
10
00:00:59.479 --> 00:01:03.640
of Dad's with Swag. We're coming
to live from the swagist studios of all
11
00:01:03.680 --> 00:01:10.959
the dad's with Swag Studios. Hope
everybody is having a great week. You
12
00:01:10.959 --> 00:01:15.840
guys can hit us up on all
social media at your coach Sean. You
13
00:01:15.879 --> 00:01:21.840
can email me, Sean Shan alfonsocom. All our past episodes can be founded
14
00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:27.159
dad's with swagcom. Don't forget,
hit us up on itunes and do me
15
00:01:27.200 --> 00:01:33.920
a favor. Rate who review subscribe
to the show. We need all the
16
00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:37.159
love we can get from you,
guys man, and we're still on the
17
00:01:37.159 --> 00:01:41.400
lookout for that one person who gave
us a one star. I can't believe
18
00:01:41.480 --> 00:01:45.599
it. Right, a review.
Tell me why I stink. But anyways,
19
00:01:45.640 --> 00:01:49.439
this week we're talking all things stress. Huh. It's the holiday season
20
00:01:49.480 --> 00:01:56.680
out here in America and stress is
just hot right now. Right like the
21
00:01:56.719 --> 00:02:00.040
holiday season brings out the stress in
us. Right, doesn't bring out the
22
00:02:00.040 --> 00:02:04.760
best in us, it brings out
the stress in us. Why is that?
23
00:02:05.799 --> 00:02:07.919
You know it. It's crazy,
because it's supposed to be a time
24
00:02:07.960 --> 00:02:15.080
of year that's filled with love and
laughter and enjoy but instead, man,
25
00:02:15.280 --> 00:02:22.800
is just it's filled with stress and
anger. People mean Mug and everybody is
26
00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:25.639
bananas. So I'm going to talk
some parental stress. I don't me.
27
00:02:25.800 --> 00:02:30.039
I have a challenge with this as
well, right, because for me it's
28
00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:34.560
like a double edged sword. One
I'm not a morning person, right,
29
00:02:34.599 --> 00:02:38.759
I'm not a morning person at all, and two kids like to drag their
30
00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:45.000
butt in the morning. Right.
How come on the weekends or on no
31
00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:50.240
school days or during the summer,
they can get up at the crack of
32
00:02:50.319 --> 00:02:54.960
dawn and they can do everything that
they need to do, but on a
33
00:02:55.000 --> 00:03:00.400
school day they have to sleep in, they eat brakfast like a turtle,
34
00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:05.960
so slow they forget to brushtrate teeth, like everything is a whole process,
35
00:03:06.039 --> 00:03:08.800
right. So for me it's like
a clash of the titans, because I'm
36
00:03:08.840 --> 00:03:12.400
not a morning person. But yet
we got to get out of the house
37
00:03:12.479 --> 00:03:16.400
right because for me, I take
both the girls to school and if I
38
00:03:16.400 --> 00:03:22.879
don't time it right, my youngest
will be late for school because there's traffic
39
00:03:22.960 --> 00:03:25.080
and driving. You know how you
know how it is. So it's like
40
00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:30.439
it's imperative that we get out of
the house at a certain time. And
41
00:03:30.520 --> 00:03:31.960
sometimes, man, the stress gets
to me, you know, and then
42
00:03:31.960 --> 00:03:36.039
you snap and you like get out
of else, let's go, let's go,
43
00:03:36.120 --> 00:03:38.520
and then you feel bad and you're
like, I'm sorry, daddy yelled,
44
00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:43.879
but come on, let's go.
So how do we deal with this
45
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.800
stress, you know, how do
how do we deal with it? What
46
00:03:46.919 --> 00:03:53.919
are some tools we can learn that
can help us better manage the stressful situations
47
00:03:53.919 --> 00:03:58.719
and maybe not get into them so
easy? So I got a few things
48
00:03:58.800 --> 00:04:04.199
here that, you know, I
use that help me and he stressful situations,
49
00:04:04.280 --> 00:04:10.080
right, especially coming around to holidays, people coming to town, families
50
00:04:10.120 --> 00:04:14.639
coming to town, families coming over
for meal times, things like that.
51
00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:16.360
You know, one of the things
that helps me, and I've given this
52
00:04:16.519 --> 00:04:23.160
up long ago, is aiming for
perfection. Right, the only person who's
53
00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:27.959
perfect is Jesus. I'm not Jesus. I can't be Jesus. So why
54
00:04:27.959 --> 00:04:30.160
do I assume I could be perfect? Right, I can't be perfect.
55
00:04:30.199 --> 00:04:35.639
He's the only one that's perfect.
So you have to sometimes just sit back,
56
00:04:35.720 --> 00:04:40.439
relax and say hey, my best
is going to have to do.
57
00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:46.519
I can't be perfect. I can't
be perfect. My House can't look impeccable
58
00:04:46.600 --> 00:04:53.000
all the time. The meal isn't
going to come out always at six o'clock.
59
00:04:53.199 --> 00:04:56.720
Sometimes it might come out at six
hundred fifteen, sometimes it might be
60
00:04:57.199 --> 00:05:01.839
thirty right, but I'm doing my
best and sometimes you have to remember that
61
00:05:01.959 --> 00:05:06.120
your best is good enough. Like
if if you're trying, you're trying to
62
00:05:06.120 --> 00:05:10.079
get the kids out of the House
on time, you're trying to get to
63
00:05:10.120 --> 00:05:13.920
the office on time, you're trying
to make it the soccer practice on Tom
64
00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:16.160
you're trying to pick your kid up
from dance on time. You know you're
65
00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:19.720
trying to get the meals done on
time, you're trying to get the house
66
00:05:19.759 --> 00:05:24.480
looking on point, you're trying to
take a shower before you got to go
67
00:05:24.519 --> 00:05:29.639
to some Christmas party. You know, it's like, I did my best,
68
00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:34.399
and sometimes we have to let ourselves
know that that's okay. It doesn't
69
00:05:34.439 --> 00:05:39.519
always have to be perfect. The
house doesn't have to be spotless. The
70
00:05:39.560 --> 00:05:43.079
meal doesn't have to come out on
time. You know, you could mess
71
00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:46.680
up the gravy. It's gonna be
okay. You know the kids get one
72
00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:51.959
tardy a year. It's going to
be okay. So stop trying to aim
73
00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:56.319
for perfection, because none of us
are going to be perfect. Right,
74
00:05:56.319 --> 00:06:00.560
we could never be perfect. It's
impossible. Another thing that really helps me
75
00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:05.079
out is trying not to take things
personally. Right, back in the day,
76
00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:09.079
I used to always take it personal
that the kids were late for school.
77
00:06:09.160 --> 00:06:12.240
Right, it's like something I could
have done. I could have woke
78
00:06:12.360 --> 00:06:16.519
up earlier. The kids didn't listen
to me because x, Y and Z.
79
00:06:18.160 --> 00:06:23.399
You know anything, it can be
anything. Right, I'm stressed out
80
00:06:23.480 --> 00:06:28.480
because this person's driving slow in front
of me because they want to Piss me
81
00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:31.600
off. Right. No, it
actually has nothing to do about us.
82
00:06:31.600 --> 00:06:36.079
We're so egotistical. We think that
everything has to be about us. Right,
83
00:06:36.079 --> 00:06:40.920
we think that it's all about us. Narcissism like up the WAZOO.
84
00:06:40.959 --> 00:06:44.240
It's not about us, right.
Why do I why is it take my
85
00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:46.839
kid ten minutes to eat breakfast on
a school morning, but it only takes
86
00:06:46.839 --> 00:06:51.160
her five minutes to eat breakfast on
the weekend? I don't know. Maybe
87
00:06:51.199 --> 00:06:55.759
she's tired, maybe she don't feel
like going to school. Maybe you know
88
00:06:55.839 --> 00:06:59.680
whatever I don't. You don't know
what the answers are. Right, but
89
00:06:59.720 --> 00:07:02.279
it's definitely I know what the answer
is. Not. I know for a
90
00:07:02.319 --> 00:07:08.519
fact that my daughter's not eating slow
to Piss Dad off. Right, she's
91
00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:13.920
not eating slow to stress dad out. She's not eating slow to be late
92
00:07:13.959 --> 00:07:18.480
for school. Right. And as
soon as we start realizing that, that
93
00:07:18.480 --> 00:07:23.279
that person is not driving slow in
front of us to Piss us off,
94
00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:28.879
that the traffic accident that made the
traffic jam didn't occur to just mess up
95
00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:33.120
our day. Right, it's not
about us, it's not personal, it's
96
00:07:33.160 --> 00:07:39.439
not geared towards us. My daughter's
not picking up her toys or cleaning up
97
00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:45.480
her room before company comes over to
make me mad. Right, even though
98
00:07:45.480 --> 00:07:47.839
I've asked her five times and she
still hasn't done it. She's not doing
99
00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:51.279
it to make me mad. She's
in her own world, she's doing her
100
00:07:51.279 --> 00:07:56.160
own thing. There's probably a reason
and up to her it's probably a very
101
00:07:56.160 --> 00:07:59.920
good reason, because she knows there's
going to be consequences if she doesn't listen
102
00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:03.879
to Daddy. So for her it's
a really good reason why she's not cleaning
103
00:08:03.959 --> 00:08:07.360
up her room, even though I
asked her to five times. But one
104
00:08:07.399 --> 00:08:11.879
of the reasons definitely isn't to Piss
Dad off. Now, maybe that's going
105
00:08:11.879 --> 00:08:16.240
to change a little once the girls
get like it. If you got teenagers
106
00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:20.480
right, or like kids are a
little bit older, then yeah, there's
107
00:08:20.519 --> 00:08:24.439
probably instances where they're going to do
stuff just to Piss off mom and dad.
108
00:08:24.680 --> 00:08:28.639
Right, but it's still even though
they're doing stuff to Piss off mom
109
00:08:28.680 --> 00:08:33.399
and dad, it's still really about
them. Right, they're fighting some inner
110
00:08:33.440 --> 00:08:37.600
demon, they're fighting some develop mental
challenge that they're going through right now.
111
00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:41.600
Right their brains are all twisted in, their hormones or all raging, so
112
00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:46.480
deep down inside they're probably really not
doing it. They're doing it for something
113
00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:50.960
else. They just don't know how
to express that something else yet right.
114
00:08:50.519 --> 00:08:54.919
So it's not about us. We
got to God, to God, to
115
00:08:54.960 --> 00:09:01.600
start stop taking things personally. It's
just it's whack. It wastes too much
116
00:09:01.600 --> 00:09:05.320
time, it wastes too much energy
and no one's got time for it.
117
00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:09.559
They really don't. So this week
we're just going to do things a lot
118
00:09:09.639 --> 00:09:16.720
differently. I'm not going to be
taken the musical commercial long commercial breaks like
119
00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:20.200
I've done in the past. This
is going to be like a shorter episode,
120
00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:22.960
a quick listen, so people you
know. I'm going to try to
121
00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:26.480
get this puppy under thirty minutes,
so then people can just listen, get
122
00:09:26.519 --> 00:09:31.960
a quick little tips before you know
they get back into the holiday season.
123
00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:37.879
We're so busy during these holidays that
I not sure if all my listeners have
124
00:09:37.039 --> 00:09:41.000
an hour to dedicate to an episode. So we're you know, this is
125
00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:45.919
just going to be a shorter,
little quick hit episode. Make sure you
126
00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:50.600
check out all our other episodes on
Dad's with swagcom. Go to Itunes,
127
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:54.519
rate review the show. Hit me
up on social media at your coach,
128
00:09:54.600 --> 00:09:58.759
Sean Man, I got, I
got. You know, I love,
129
00:09:58.799 --> 00:10:01.600
I love interacting with you guys on
social media. It's pretty cool. I
130
00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:07.720
got a message from cmbohne eighty six
last week, man, telling me how
131
00:10:07.799 --> 00:10:09.879
much you know he's a new listener
and how much he loved the show,
132
00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:13.600
and that just means so much to
me, man, it really I love
133
00:10:13.639 --> 00:10:16.600
the fact that you guys care about
this program in this platform, you know,
134
00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:20.519
for dad's by Dads, but we
got a lot of moms out there
135
00:10:20.559 --> 00:10:24.440
to listening. So hit me up. I'd Love I love interacting with you
136
00:10:24.440 --> 00:10:26.559
guys and if you guys have any
topics that you want, you know you
137
00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:30.720
want to hear about, hit me
up, man. I'm always down to
138
00:10:30.799 --> 00:10:33.840
learn about new things and talk about
new things. And if you ever want
139
00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:37.279
to be a guest on the show
and talk about anything you want, hit
140
00:10:37.320 --> 00:10:39.240
me up, man. I'd love
to have you as a guest. And
141
00:10:39.279 --> 00:10:43.200
if you can't make it into the
Dazzle Swag Studio out here in Phoenix,
142
00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:46.159
Arizona, then we could always get
you on the show via skype. There's,
143
00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:50.240
you know, this modern technology.
There's all kinds of things we can
144
00:10:50.279 --> 00:10:52.519
do. I love to get back
to charity. Sometimes I find it hard
145
00:10:52.519 --> 00:10:56.360
to just cut a big check.
I get so busy with the wife and
146
00:10:56.440 --> 00:10:58.159
kids. I'm more of a set
it and forget it kind of guy.
147
00:10:58.240 --> 00:11:01.279
That's why I love the Angel Club. I can pick the amount I want
148
00:11:01.320 --> 00:11:05.799
taken out of my checking account every
month. I never see the money,
149
00:11:05.799 --> 00:11:09.759
so I never miss the money and
I could always feel good knowing I'm giving
150
00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:13.120
back every month. If you want
to join the Angel Club, just go
151
00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:18.799
to Pierce Family Foundationcom. Let's just
get right back into this. Another thing
152
00:11:18.840 --> 00:11:20.919
you can do to help combat this
holiday stress, this stress. And then
153
00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:26.080
it's not even just the holidays.
For me, it could happen anytime at
154
00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:28.320
a school year right. It could
happen anytime, even in the summer while
155
00:11:28.440 --> 00:11:33.120
traveling, like stress just POPs up. Another thing that I have to remember
156
00:11:33.159 --> 00:11:37.519
all the time is to play,
right. I love to play. Just
157
00:11:37.559 --> 00:11:41.120
play anything. Play Board Games,
go outside and play tag with the kids,
158
00:11:41.159 --> 00:11:45.240
play dress up, like I remember
when the girls were so small,
159
00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:48.519
we used to play together all the
time and I loved it. It made
160
00:11:48.559 --> 00:11:54.360
me so happy. Reminiscent of my
childhood and there's something so stress relieving about
161
00:11:54.559 --> 00:12:01.639
laughter and children's laughter and having a
childlike laughter. Right. When was the
162
00:12:01.720 --> 00:12:05.440
last time you just laughed like you
were six years old? It was probably
163
00:12:05.519 --> 00:12:09.120
been a long time, but we
have to continue to do that. We
164
00:12:09.159 --> 00:12:11.919
have to remember to play with our
kids. We have to remember to act
165
00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:16.240
like children again. Right, just
because we're old and we got bills and
166
00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:20.320
we got responsibilities and we have all
these things that we got to do,
167
00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:26.559
doesn't mean that we can't continue to
play, laugh and enjoy life, right,
168
00:12:26.600 --> 00:12:30.480
because that's really what it's about.
It's about enjoyment. This this life
169
00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:33.840
we have, is about living the
best possible life we can, and life
170
00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:39.440
is a lot better when we're playing
and we're laughing and we're having a good
171
00:12:39.480 --> 00:12:43.279
time. Right. I definitely know
that, because all your burdens, all
172
00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:46.120
your stress, is all your worries, when you're in the middle of planing
173
00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:50.919
an intense kickball game, they go
away, right, they go away.
174
00:12:50.919 --> 00:12:54.360
Well, that is until the kids
start fighting or arguing about whether they're safe
175
00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:58.720
or out. Then all the stress
comes back. But there's probably going to
176
00:12:58.720 --> 00:13:01.120
be a couple good innings in there, right, you're going to get a
177
00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:05.240
couple good innings. Or you're playing
that game of monopoly and so you know
178
00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:09.559
one kid quits because they're almost out
of money. That happens, but you'll
179
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:13.360
get a couple good turns around the
board. So play, be childlike.
180
00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:18.559
Be Childlike in your life. Another
cool thing, and I haven't done this
181
00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:20.440
for a while now and I need
to get back into it. Wife you
182
00:13:20.519 --> 00:13:24.559
man, she's been giving me the
business put on a little holiday weight.
183
00:13:24.679 --> 00:13:28.519
Well, I put the holiday weight
on a couple years ago and I've just
184
00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:33.919
kept that holiday weight on. But
exercise, exercise is so important and I
185
00:13:33.919 --> 00:13:37.480
don't do it enough myself. So
I'm you know, I'm my own worst
186
00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:41.480
enemy because I know these things in
my brain and these things that I need
187
00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:46.840
to do in these things that I
should do to live an even more blessed
188
00:13:46.919 --> 00:13:50.320
life than I have now, but
sometimes I still don't do it right.
189
00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:52.159
I have all the knowledge, I
have all the tools in my tool belt,
190
00:13:52.200 --> 00:13:56.759
but I still don't use them.
So one that works really well is
191
00:13:56.799 --> 00:14:05.960
exercise. Exercise can help so much
right because it allows you to release all
192
00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:11.600
those endorphins, all that pent up
energy and frustration. And it's not like
193
00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:16.240
the kind of energy you're thinking of, like Oh, I'm so exhausted,
194
00:14:16.279 --> 00:14:18.960
I've been working all day, I
don't have the energy to do this,
195
00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:24.320
that or the other, right,
but more like this pent up frustration energy.
196
00:14:24.440 --> 00:14:28.960
Right, it's kind of like a
boiling pot, right, like you
197
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:33.639
got that kettle on the on the
on the stove and the waters boiling and
198
00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:35.960
then all of a sudden the whistle
starts whistling, right, and after the
199
00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:41.039
whistles whistling and you still haven't gotten
it because you halfway through that awesome season
200
00:14:41.159 --> 00:14:45.240
of like stranger things and you like, Oh, I just can't get to
201
00:14:45.279 --> 00:14:46.399
it, I can't get to it, I want to see this episode.
202
00:14:46.440 --> 00:14:50.080
I got to finish this episode.
And then after it starts whistling for a
203
00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:54.080
while then like water starts spurting out
of it, right, the steam in
204
00:14:54.120 --> 00:14:58.639
the water starts spurting out and then
it starts bubbling over. Well, that's
205
00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:03.159
like us with stress and a emotions, right, if we don't do something
206
00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:07.960
to relieve that pressure, we're going
to boil over. And I'm sure you
207
00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:11.080
can tell, right. I'm sure
you can tell when you're at a place
208
00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:15.960
where you're about to boil over,
right, where it's been so much and
209
00:15:16.200 --> 00:15:20.799
so hard and it's built up for
so long that the steam comes out right
210
00:15:20.840 --> 00:15:24.159
in the morning the kids take too
long to get ready, right, so
211
00:15:24.200 --> 00:15:26.559
boom, some steam comes out and
you yell a little right, or you
212
00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:31.240
talking a stern voice, or you
get angry, and then you're on your
213
00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:35.080
way to the office and somebody cut
you off it in traffic, right.
214
00:15:35.240 --> 00:15:39.279
So now you bubble it up even
more. And a little bit of that
215
00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:41.039
that. No, it's not just
the whistle. Now the steam in the
216
00:15:41.039 --> 00:15:46.919
water, foamy waters coming out right, and then you get home from work
217
00:15:46.919 --> 00:15:50.919
and your wife says something and then
boom, you explode, right, it
218
00:15:52.080 --> 00:15:54.440
just boils over because that's all you
could have, it's all you could handle.
219
00:15:54.919 --> 00:15:58.240
But now, if you would have
went and worked out, got some
220
00:15:58.320 --> 00:16:03.759
exercise in even in the morning,
that would have brought that boil down the
221
00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:11.080
like a stillness or even a simmer, right, and then when the kids
222
00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:14.039
aren't getting ready in the morning,
it would have just been, you know,
223
00:16:14.159 --> 00:16:18.159
from a stillness to a simmer or
from a simmer to a little little
224
00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:22.039
bubble. And then you got cut
off, right, so it never would
225
00:16:22.080 --> 00:16:25.200
have escalated all the way to the
boil over. And the same thing if
226
00:16:25.240 --> 00:16:29.440
you would have exercised after work,
then you you're starting at a better foundation,
227
00:16:29.639 --> 00:16:34.440
right, so you're not getting to
that boil over explosive energy. You
228
00:16:34.480 --> 00:16:37.240
know, you got to expel some
of that energy. You got to let
229
00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:42.399
some of that pressure off and with
exercise that's a great way to do it.
230
00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:48.759
It really is. Another great thing
to do is to stay connected with
231
00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:55.519
others. Right, staying connected with
others, being part of a tribe,
232
00:16:55.559 --> 00:16:59.679
part of a group, having some
people that you can talk to things about
233
00:16:59.720 --> 00:17:03.039
and and women do an amazing job
in this. There's probably like in any
234
00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:08.920
city at least like fifty mom's groups
going on at any given time that you
235
00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:14.480
can join. I know it.
DADS it's a little bit harder. You
236
00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:18.160
know it's a little bit harder to
do that. I know here in Arizona
237
00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:22.720
we got a Z dadscom which is
a great resource, and I know there's
238
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:27.240
other places you know, and other
states and cities in the US. But
239
00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:30.680
even if it's not a dad's group, even if it's just like you and
240
00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:36.119
some homies just like chopping it up, maybe going to play some pickup basketball,
241
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:40.839
then you can have you know you're
connecting with others while you're getting your
242
00:17:40.839 --> 00:17:44.640
exercise in. I know there's a
lot of guys that you know play golf
243
00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:51.519
together or join softball teams or squash
leagues or you know the list goes on
244
00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:55.480
and on and on. But find
something you're interested in, go to meet
245
00:17:55.559 --> 00:18:00.000
UPCOM, find a meet up or
group about it and then join them.
246
00:18:00.279 --> 00:18:03.920
Stay connected with people, have somebody
other than your wife and your kids and
247
00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:07.880
your co workers that you can talk
about life with. You Know Me,
248
00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:12.039
I have an amazing, you know, small group Bible study that I host
249
00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:18.079
at my house on Mondays and you
know, I stay connected with those people
250
00:18:18.359 --> 00:18:22.880
and it allows me an opportunity to
recharge my batteries, it allows me an
251
00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:29.599
opportunity to just plug in with other
people about a topic that's important to me
252
00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:34.799
and staying connected, you know,
it's so important. Fine, find those
253
00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:40.160
friends, even if you guys just
meet like once a month, you know,
254
00:18:40.319 --> 00:18:42.160
or a couple times a year or
even and then maybe you're like,
255
00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:45.200
you know what, Sean, I'm
extremely inverted. I'm not about to go
256
00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:49.119
meet some strangers that I don't know
nothing about, get marked up like,
257
00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:53.559
you know, Yada, Yada,
Yada. There's so many online parent forums,
258
00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:59.759
parent chat groups, like go on
one of those and just like plug
259
00:18:59.799 --> 00:19:03.480
in, see what other parents are
talking about. You know what other kids
260
00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:07.759
are asking for. It for Christmas
is what are the hot birthday trans like,
261
00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:14.200
whatever it may be. Just stay
connected and stay plugged in. With
262
00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:18.519
my family's busy schedule, we're always
looking for healthy snacks. Are Go to
263
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:22.960
snacks. Are Are xbars. They're
high quality and made with real ingredients and
264
00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:26.160
a label. Even I can read
enough about what's in our xbars. I
265
00:19:26.200 --> 00:19:30.240
really love what's not in them.
No added sugar, no gluten, no
266
00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:36.119
soy, dairy or any of that
bad crap. With Bell's crazy dance company
267
00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:40.839
schedule, I always make sure she
has her favorite coconut chocolate ur Xbar and
268
00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:45.920
her dance bag for AVA mixed berries
her go to school snack and they must
269
00:19:45.960 --> 00:19:49.160
have in her acting bag in case
she gets hungry. Wife gets them at
270
00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:53.519
the Madison Improvement Club when she needs
a little something, something before spin class.
271
00:19:53.720 --> 00:20:00.279
Check them out at target for yourself
or go to our xbarcom forward Swag
272
00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:06.359
and save twenty five percent once again. That's our xbarcom forward swag for your
273
00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:10.119
twenty five percent off. And I
was just at fries the other day,
274
00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:14.319
man, and you know, I
was doing some grocery shopping and I got
275
00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:17.920
hungry in the middle of my grocery
shopping and I was walking down an aisle
276
00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:19.799
and I saw to our xbars right
there. I like I might get one
277
00:20:19.799 --> 00:20:23.039
of these puppies. Grabbed me and
r x bar just's eight it while I
278
00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:26.559
was shopping around, got rid of
that angry feeling and then just get,
279
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:29.759
you know, gave the lady to
rapper. I'm like a thoughtis on the
280
00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:34.119
bill, but our xbars man hit
them up. They're good family, Yummy,
281
00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:41.039
yummy. Another important strategy is relaxation, right. You can't just will
282
00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:45.079
stress away, you can't just be
like stress, please, please, please,
283
00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:48.759
please, go away, because it's
not going to write. You have
284
00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:55.200
to do something. You have to
have stragedies, things that you can do
285
00:20:55.680 --> 00:21:00.000
that will really help our listen to
music. For me, listening to music
286
00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:06.960
is like the a number one stress
reliever. If I'm ever super stressed,
287
00:21:07.000 --> 00:21:11.279
I just go in my office.
You know, I got a nice old
288
00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:18.200
school turntable. I throw on some
blues, some jazz and I just chill
289
00:21:18.359 --> 00:21:22.720
and and listen to some music and
the stress just melts away right and then
290
00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:26.519
even if I if I, if
I'm not in the environment tour, I
291
00:21:26.599 --> 00:21:29.559
can have that set up. Man, I just throw my ear buds in
292
00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:34.839
though, something on the phone and
whether it's like smooth jazz or Nwa like
293
00:21:36.119 --> 00:21:44.480
it just the music just melts the
stress away. Another thing that I use
294
00:21:44.920 --> 00:21:49.000
all the time is this APP on
my phone. It's called the insight timer
295
00:21:49.359 --> 00:21:53.920
and it's a meditation APP and I
meditate every night, and the cool thing
296
00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:57.039
I like about this one is there's
like a whole bunch. First of all,
297
00:21:57.200 --> 00:22:00.960
the number one thing I like about
is it's free. Other than that,
298
00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:06.160
there's all kinds of different meditations you
can do and they're all time like.
299
00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:10.160
You can be like, all right, I'm having a really stressful time
300
00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:14.839
right now, I need two minutes
to just decompress. Right, go to
301
00:22:14.960 --> 00:22:19.079
the bathroom, throwing some earbuds,
take pick a two minute guided meditation and
302
00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:23.200
it'll be a two minute meditation right. Or say you got like you know
303
00:22:23.319 --> 00:22:26.839
you really have a lot of time
and you want to do a longer one.
304
00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:30.920
They have fifteen minute, thirty minute, one hour like, and you
305
00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:34.400
could build it up. or You
could even just put on this timer and
306
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:38.759
you can say all right, timer
set for forty five minutes, and then
307
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:42.400
you could do your own meditation.
It's not a guided meditation, and then
308
00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:47.279
when you're forty five minutes are up, it'll start playing this soft, you
309
00:22:47.400 --> 00:22:49.960
know, music or gongs or whatever, you pick, whatever sound you want
310
00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:55.319
to come out of it. So
that's a cool APP because meditating really clears
311
00:22:55.359 --> 00:23:00.720
the mind. Right, exercise,
release is all that extra energy, all
312
00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:04.799
that pent up bubbles, right,
but meditation, man, really just puts
313
00:23:04.920 --> 00:23:11.599
everything at ease and at peace and
it really allows you to step outside of
314
00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:17.720
yourself and see that this bs doesn't
mean nothing. Right like this, the
315
00:23:17.880 --> 00:23:22.559
person that cut you off doesn't really
mean anything in the grand scheme of things,
316
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:27.400
and it's that meditating that, you
know, helps you really focus on
317
00:23:27.559 --> 00:23:30.720
and listen to God. You know, it's funny because the people ask me,
318
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:33.720
right, because you know, everybody
knows I love Jesus, right,
319
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:37.640
he's my Homie, and people always
ask me, you know, what's the
320
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:42.839
difference between prayer and meditation? Right, because I do both. I usually
321
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:48.119
pray in the morning and I meditate
at night. And when people and I
322
00:23:48.119 --> 00:23:51.400
don't know if this is like the
real answer or like if there's a biblical
323
00:23:51.480 --> 00:23:53.960
answer or whatnot, but this is
the answer for me, this is how
324
00:23:55.079 --> 00:24:00.599
I define it for myself and for
my life. Right when when I pray,
325
00:24:00.480 --> 00:24:03.960
that's when I talk to Jesus,
right. That's when I tell Jesus
326
00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:08.039
what's up, what's going on in
my life, things that I'd like him
327
00:24:08.119 --> 00:24:12.880
to do for me or help me
with, or challenges in my life that
328
00:24:14.039 --> 00:24:18.680
I'd like him to take over for
me. And when I meditate, that's
329
00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:22.160
when I listened for his answers,
right. That's when I listened for his
330
00:24:22.279 --> 00:24:25.920
guidance. That's when I listen to
what he has to say to me.
331
00:24:26.559 --> 00:24:30.200
So when for my prayers, that's
when I'm talking, and my meditating,
332
00:24:30.440 --> 00:24:33.599
that's when I'm listening, because it's
got to be a two way conversation,
333
00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:40.720
right. Another cool thing you could
do to have some of these relaxation strategies
334
00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:44.799
is writ in a journal. Right, keep a journal. For me,
335
00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.240
journaling doesn't really work because, excuse
me, I'm not a good journalist,
336
00:24:49.559 --> 00:24:55.640
I don't like writing, I can't
read my own writing. So to me,
337
00:24:55.839 --> 00:25:00.519
journaling doesn't really help much because it's
just boring and I've never really enjoyed
338
00:25:00.599 --> 00:25:07.480
it. But for some people it
helps a lot. They say adult coloring
339
00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:11.279
books really help destress you, and
this kind of incorporates back to the play.
340
00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:15.160
I don't have any adult coloring but
I don't even know what an adult
341
00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:18.000
coloring book is, but I know
that my kids have coloring books and I
342
00:25:18.119 --> 00:25:22.079
know that I love coloring in them
and I know that when I color in
343
00:25:22.119 --> 00:25:26.519
my kids coloring books I feel less
stressed and I never really thought about that
344
00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:30.799
before until I was doing some research
on this episode and I read about this
345
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:36.279
adult coloring book stuff and I'm like
hmm, all right, and then I
346
00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:38.079
started thinking. I'm like, you
know what, every time I'm coloring I'm
347
00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:42.240
less stressed. When I'm at a
restaurant and they got the kids menus and
348
00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:45.200
one of my kids isn't using their
kids men use and I start coloring on
349
00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:49.079
it, I seem to be a
lot less stressed at that dinner outing.
350
00:25:49.400 --> 00:25:53.960
Then I typically am reading. Now
this one I do enjoy doing, you
351
00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:56.640
know. I try to do that. I'm on that like six books a
352
00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:00.400
year plan that I try to do. I know a lot of people are
353
00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:03.559
like a book a month or a
book a week, you know, but
354
00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:07.640
I couldn't. I try to do
a book, a book a month many,
355
00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:10.440
many years ago and it just didn't
work out. So that what I
356
00:26:10.519 --> 00:26:14.559
did was I did a book a
quarter and then now I've jumped that up.
357
00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:18.440
So basically, six books of years
what I do now, and I
358
00:26:18.599 --> 00:26:22.240
like reading. I stink at it
and I forget a lot of things that
359
00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:26.920
I read, but I really enjoy
it. I enjoyed this carving out that
360
00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:30.559
time that's just for me, right, those moments that are just for me,
361
00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:34.240
that I can sit down, you
know, poor glass suburban and get
362
00:26:34.319 --> 00:26:37.519
into a good book. Another thing
you could do is take a walk,
363
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:42.279
right, walking around the block,
walking around your house, like just going
364
00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:45.920
out for a nice walk, get
some fresh air, going to backyard,
365
00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:51.079
walk around, you know, just
get out there and get some fresh air
366
00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:55.519
and just get your blood flowing and
your body moving. That's another great way
367
00:26:56.200 --> 00:27:00.079
to relieve a lot of stress.
And some people people say plant a garden.
368
00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:03.240
Now I want to get into this
gardening business right. I want to.
369
00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:06.480
I want to see what this is
all about. I don't know if
370
00:27:06.519 --> 00:27:10.720
I'd be a good gardener, but
wifey and I here have you know,
371
00:27:10.839 --> 00:27:12.119
there's a part of the house where
we're like man, we should plant like
372
00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:17.359
an outside box gardens and stuff like
that, like raised bed gardens, and
373
00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:19.480
my and wife he's got this buddy, you know, that's what he does
374
00:27:19.559 --> 00:27:22.119
for a living and stuff. So
we had him come over but man,
375
00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:26.440
it seems like a lot of work. I don't know if it would alleviate
376
00:27:26.599 --> 00:27:30.559
stress in my life or add stress
to my life. I'm not sure yet,
377
00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:34.160
but a lot of people say that
gardening release relieves a lot of stress,
378
00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:37.599
and I know my grandma man,
she used to love to garden and
379
00:27:37.799 --> 00:27:42.119
she had her rose bushes and like
all of her gardens and stuff like that,
380
00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:47.440
and I'd love to have some rose
bushes out here in Arizona and have
381
00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:49.759
some nice gardens and stuff like that. I just I don't know if I
382
00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:56.319
have the patients to tend to a
garden right but maybe with time and with
383
00:27:56.519 --> 00:28:00.039
age and you know, you gain
more of that patience, but right now
384
00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:03.400
I don't know if the gardens for
me. However, I do think it'd
385
00:28:03.400 --> 00:28:07.799
be dope to be able to plant
some stuff in a garden then go back
386
00:28:07.880 --> 00:28:11.759
a couple months later and then eat
that stuff that you just planted, like
387
00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:15.000
chopping me all up out of it, like being some pots and just make
388
00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:18.039
it happen. I think that'd be
pretty cool and I'd like to plant some
389
00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:22.160
roses because I did always enjoy grandma
teas roses. I think that'd be kind
390
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:27.759
of cool to in memory of her. Now this one, I'm saying I'm
391
00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:32.119
kind of saving the best for last. Right, I'm kind of saving the
392
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:38.319
best for last because sometimes the stress
just gets so big and so unmanageable and
393
00:28:38.799 --> 00:28:41.079
you know, you're probably at the
point of the episode where you're like,
394
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:47.359
dude, no amount of exercise is
going to alleviate my stress. No amount
395
00:28:47.400 --> 00:28:49.839
of exercise is going to alleviate,
you know, the stress of living pay
396
00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:55.000
check to paycheck, or the fact
that my electricity just got shut off or
397
00:28:55.079 --> 00:28:59.480
the effect that you know, I'm
I'm behind on my mortgage, or I
398
00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:02.680
didn't get that job I wanted,
or my kids are, you know,
399
00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:07.359
buck crazy, or me and wife, he's fighting. No amount of connecting
400
00:29:07.440 --> 00:29:10.640
with others is going to help any
of that stuff. No, no amount
401
00:29:10.680 --> 00:29:14.400
of reading or doing yoga or meditating
or praying is going to do that.
402
00:29:14.559 --> 00:29:18.039
Right your you might be at that
level and you're like, none of that
403
00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:22.000
Shit you've been talking about is going
to help with my stress, with this
404
00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:26.440
stress, because this is the most
stressful of stresses that stress has ever seen.
405
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:30.640
There's not even a stress test that
can measure the amount of stress I
406
00:29:30.680 --> 00:29:33.599
got going on right now. Sean, right, that's what you might be
407
00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:38.960
thinking. So what I would suggest
for you is to ask for help.
408
00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:44.759
Just ask for help right. Ask
for help. Go see a professional,
409
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.279
whether that's a therapist, whether that's
a life coach, whether you know it's
410
00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:53.759
anybody that deals with stress in a
professional manner. Like go ask for some
411
00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:59.519
help and sit down and talk to
somebody and if you can't find somebody to
412
00:29:59.599 --> 00:30:02.519
talk to, hit me up.
I'd be more and happy to talk with
413
00:30:02.640 --> 00:30:07.440
you right because if you're at that
level where you're calling bs on all these
414
00:30:07.519 --> 00:30:11.119
other things that I've listed and you're
saying there's no way that any of that
415
00:30:11.240 --> 00:30:15.240
stuff can help with my stress,
because my stress is the ultimate stress,
416
00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:19.039
then you need to get some help. You need to get some professional help,
417
00:30:19.079 --> 00:30:22.240
and it's ain't a joke. I'm
not clowning on you, because mental
418
00:30:22.359 --> 00:30:27.559
health is probably the most important thing
in the entire world and if everybody had
419
00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:32.480
a stronger sense of mental health,
this world would be a much better place.
420
00:30:33.400 --> 00:30:34.880
And it doesn't cost money. Don't
be like, Oh, I'm broke
421
00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:37.920
as a joke, because there's a
lot of people out there that will listen
422
00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:41.759
to you and help you for free. I will listen to you and help
423
00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:45.799
you for free. There's clergy people
out there that will listen to you and
424
00:30:45.960 --> 00:30:49.519
help you for free, right.
And I don't know about a lot of
425
00:30:49.640 --> 00:30:55.160
therapists and stuff like that, but
I would probably be like eighty percent sure
426
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:59.519
that, if you was really in
a pickle and you went to a therapist
427
00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:02.519
and you're like look, all I
need is fifteen minutes of your time,
428
00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:07.559
because this is how low I am, that they'd be willing to listen for
429
00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:11.920
fifteen minutes. So ask for help, but you got to get off your
430
00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:15.640
ass and you got to go make
the ask. Right. You can't just
431
00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:19.319
sit there in your living room,
in your office, in your car,
432
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:23.640
wherever you're at, listening to this
show and talk about how bad things are
433
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:27.640
if you're not willing to take some
action, if you're not willing to get
434
00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:30.599
off your butt and go ask for
the help, or if you're not willing
435
00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:34.400
to get off your butt and do
to exercise or get on your butt and
436
00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:38.519
do some meditation. But if it's
gotten so bad that none of those things
437
00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:41.680
are going to work, then you
got to go ask for the help,
438
00:31:42.079 --> 00:31:45.359
but you got to do it right, or you can just continue to live
439
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:49.400
in a stress life, this life
that's constant stress, constant boil over,
440
00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:55.720
constant short fuse. Right, if
you and there's some people that say which
441
00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:57.599
I like, it amazes me because
there's a lot of people out there that
442
00:31:57.759 --> 00:32:06.160
say they enjoy living in that stressful
time, not stressful part of life.
443
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:08.160
They say, Oh, I accomplish
so much more, Oh, I'm so
444
00:32:08.319 --> 00:32:14.359
much more productive when I'm stressed.
Oh, I do think so much faster
445
00:32:14.440 --> 00:32:19.039
when I wait till the last minute
and I'm stressed out about it. Yeah,
446
00:32:19.160 --> 00:32:21.559
you might do things faster, but
you're not going to do them better
447
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:25.960
and you're not going to have as
much enjoyment and then the end result isn't
448
00:32:25.960 --> 00:32:30.240
going to be as good and you're
probably not going to be as happy with
449
00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:37.839
the experience as if you distressed a
little. Right, distressed, come back
450
00:32:37.960 --> 00:32:44.240
in, get back inside yourself.
This life is meant to be enjoyed.
451
00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:51.039
Let's make sure we enjoy it.
Enjoy it with each other, enjoy with
452
00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:55.880
our friends. Our families are communities. Get out there and exercise, play
453
00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:05.720
with your kids' stop taking shit personally, because it's not about you and nobody
454
00:33:05.799 --> 00:33:09.119
can be perfect. But Jesus himself. So just get out there and do
455
00:33:09.319 --> 00:33:32.039
your best. We out. Thanks
for listening to DAD's sweat. Check out
456
00:33:32.119 --> 00:33:37.880
new episodes every Thursday or go to
dad's for swagcom download past episodes
1
00:00:03.919 --> 00:00:12.400
You are now about to witness the
strength of street knowledge. You're listening to
2
00:00:12.519 --> 00:00:16.199
dad's with Swag, where your coach
Shawn has the tools to help you navigate
3
00:00:16.280 --> 00:00:20.160
some of life's ups and downs.
Let's do it. Whether you're trying to
4
00:00:20.199 --> 00:00:23.719
balance work in life, going through
a difficult time in marriage or trying to
5
00:00:23.760 --> 00:00:27.679
manifest that perfect mate, Shawn can
get you from where you are to where
6
00:00:27.679 --> 00:00:32.159
you want to be. Loving husband
and dadded two amazing girls. Your coach
7
00:00:32.200 --> 00:00:35.640
Shaun can help you Trin your dreams
into goals and make them a reality.
8
00:00:36.119 --> 00:00:40.240
No more faking change. Is kind
of start making change with the swaggy's out
9
00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:59.479
of them all. Your coach Seawan
is yeah, welcome back to another episode
10
00:00:59.479 --> 00:01:03.640
of Dad's with Swag. We're coming
to live from the swagist studios of all
11
00:01:03.680 --> 00:01:10.959
the dad's with Swag Studios. Hope
everybody is having a great week. You
12
00:01:10.959 --> 00:01:15.840
guys can hit us up on all
social media at your coach Sean. You
13
00:01:15.879 --> 00:01:21.840
can email me, Sean Shan alfonsocom. All our past episodes can be founded
14
00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:27.159
dad's with swagcom. Don't forget,
hit us up on itunes and do me
15
00:01:27.200 --> 00:01:33.920
a favor. Rate who review subscribe
to the show. We need all the
16
00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:37.159
love we can get from you,
guys man, and we're still on the
17
00:01:37.159 --> 00:01:41.400
lookout for that one person who gave
us a one star. I can't believe
18
00:01:41.480 --> 00:01:45.599
it. Right, a review.
Tell me why I stink. But anyways,
19
00:01:45.640 --> 00:01:49.439
this week we're talking all things stress. Huh. It's the holiday season
20
00:01:49.480 --> 00:01:56.680
out here in America and stress is
just hot right now. Right like the
21
00:01:56.719 --> 00:02:00.040
holiday season brings out the stress in
us. Right, doesn't bring out the
22
00:02:00.040 --> 00:02:04.760
best in us, it brings out
the stress in us. Why is that?
23
00:02:05.799 --> 00:02:07.919
You know it. It's crazy,
because it's supposed to be a time
24
00:02:07.960 --> 00:02:15.080
of year that's filled with love and
laughter and enjoy but instead, man,
25
00:02:15.280 --> 00:02:22.800
is just it's filled with stress and
anger. People mean Mug and everybody is
26
00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:25.639
bananas. So I'm going to talk
some parental stress. I don't me.
27
00:02:25.800 --> 00:02:30.039
I have a challenge with this as
well, right, because for me it's
28
00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:34.560
like a double edged sword. One
I'm not a morning person, right,
29
00:02:34.599 --> 00:02:38.759
I'm not a morning person at all, and two kids like to drag their
30
00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:45.000
butt in the morning. Right.
How come on the weekends or on no
31
00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:50.240
school days or during the summer,
they can get up at the crack of
32
00:02:50.319 --> 00:02:54.960
dawn and they can do everything that
they need to do, but on a
33
00:02:55.000 --> 00:03:00.400
school day they have to sleep in, they eat brakfast like a turtle,
34
00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:05.960
so slow they forget to brushtrate teeth, like everything is a whole process,
35
00:03:06.039 --> 00:03:08.800
right. So for me it's like
a clash of the titans, because I'm
36
00:03:08.840 --> 00:03:12.400
not a morning person. But yet
we got to get out of the house
37
00:03:12.479 --> 00:03:16.400
right because for me, I take
both the girls to school and if I
38
00:03:16.400 --> 00:03:22.879
don't time it right, my youngest
will be late for school because there's traffic
39
00:03:22.960 --> 00:03:25.080
and driving. You know how you
know how it is. So it's like
40
00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:30.439
it's imperative that we get out of
the house at a certain time. And
41
00:03:30.520 --> 00:03:31.960
sometimes, man, the stress gets
to me, you know, and then
42
00:03:31.960 --> 00:03:36.039
you snap and you like get out
of else, let's go, let's go,
43
00:03:36.120 --> 00:03:38.520
and then you feel bad and you're
like, I'm sorry, daddy yelled,
44
00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:43.879
but come on, let's go.
So how do we deal with this
45
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.800
stress, you know, how do
how do we deal with it? What
46
00:03:46.919 --> 00:03:53.919
are some tools we can learn that
can help us better manage the stressful situations
47
00:03:53.919 --> 00:03:58.719
and maybe not get into them so
easy? So I got a few things
48
00:03:58.800 --> 00:04:04.199
here that, you know, I
use that help me and he stressful situations,
49
00:04:04.280 --> 00:04:10.080
right, especially coming around to holidays, people coming to town, families
50
00:04:10.120 --> 00:04:14.639
coming to town, families coming over
for meal times, things like that.
51
00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:16.360
You know, one of the things
that helps me, and I've given this
52
00:04:16.519 --> 00:04:23.160
up long ago, is aiming for
perfection. Right, the only person who's
53
00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:27.959
perfect is Jesus. I'm not Jesus. I can't be Jesus. So why
54
00:04:27.959 --> 00:04:30.160
do I assume I could be perfect? Right, I can't be perfect.
55
00:04:30.199 --> 00:04:35.639
He's the only one that's perfect.
So you have to sometimes just sit back,
56
00:04:35.720 --> 00:04:40.439
relax and say hey, my best
is going to have to do.
57
00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:46.519
I can't be perfect. I can't
be perfect. My House can't look impeccable
58
00:04:46.600 --> 00:04:53.000
all the time. The meal isn't
going to come out always at six o'clock.
59
00:04:53.199 --> 00:04:56.720
Sometimes it might come out at six
hundred fifteen, sometimes it might be
60
00:04:57.199 --> 00:05:01.839
thirty right, but I'm doing my
best and sometimes you have to remember that
61
00:05:01.959 --> 00:05:06.120
your best is good enough. Like
if if you're trying, you're trying to
62
00:05:06.120 --> 00:05:10.079
get the kids out of the House
on time, you're trying to get to
63
00:05:10.120 --> 00:05:13.920
the office on time, you're trying
to make it the soccer practice on Tom
64
00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:16.160
you're trying to pick your kid up
from dance on time. You know you're
65
00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:19.720
trying to get the meals done on
time, you're trying to get the house
66
00:05:19.759 --> 00:05:24.480
looking on point, you're trying to
take a shower before you got to go
67
00:05:24.519 --> 00:05:29.639
to some Christmas party. You know, it's like, I did my best,
68
00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:34.399
and sometimes we have to let ourselves
know that that's okay. It doesn't
69
00:05:34.439 --> 00:05:39.519
always have to be perfect. The
house doesn't have to be spotless. The
70
00:05:39.560 --> 00:05:43.079
meal doesn't have to come out on
time. You know, you could mess
71
00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:46.680
up the gravy. It's gonna be
okay. You know the kids get one
72
00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:51.959
tardy a year. It's going to
be okay. So stop trying to aim
73
00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:56.319
for perfection, because none of us
are going to be perfect. Right,
74
00:05:56.319 --> 00:06:00.560
we could never be perfect. It's
impossible. Another thing that really helps me
75
00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:05.079
out is trying not to take things
personally. Right, back in the day,
76
00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:09.079
I used to always take it personal
that the kids were late for school.
77
00:06:09.160 --> 00:06:12.240
Right, it's like something I could
have done. I could have woke
78
00:06:12.360 --> 00:06:16.519
up earlier. The kids didn't listen
to me because x, Y and Z.
79
00:06:18.160 --> 00:06:23.399
You know anything, it can be
anything. Right, I'm stressed out
80
00:06:23.480 --> 00:06:28.480
because this person's driving slow in front
of me because they want to Piss me
81
00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:31.600
off. Right. No, it
actually has nothing to do about us.
82
00:06:31.600 --> 00:06:36.079
We're so egotistical. We think that
everything has to be about us. Right,
83
00:06:36.079 --> 00:06:40.920
we think that it's all about us. Narcissism like up the WAZOO.
84
00:06:40.959 --> 00:06:44.240
It's not about us, right.
Why do I why is it take my
85
00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:46.839
kid ten minutes to eat breakfast on
a school morning, but it only takes
86
00:06:46.839 --> 00:06:51.160
her five minutes to eat breakfast on
the weekend? I don't know. Maybe
87
00:06:51.199 --> 00:06:55.759
she's tired, maybe she don't feel
like going to school. Maybe you know
88
00:06:55.839 --> 00:06:59.680
whatever I don't. You don't know
what the answers are. Right, but
89
00:06:59.720 --> 00:07:02.279
it's definitely I know what the answer
is. Not. I know for a
90
00:07:02.319 --> 00:07:08.519
fact that my daughter's not eating slow
to Piss Dad off. Right, she's
91
00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:13.920
not eating slow to stress dad out. She's not eating slow to be late
92
00:07:13.959 --> 00:07:18.480
for school. Right. And as
soon as we start realizing that, that
93
00:07:18.480 --> 00:07:23.279
that person is not driving slow in
front of us to Piss us off,
94
00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:28.879
that the traffic accident that made the
traffic jam didn't occur to just mess up
95
00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:33.120
our day. Right, it's not
about us, it's not personal, it's
96
00:07:33.160 --> 00:07:39.439
not geared towards us. My daughter's
not picking up her toys or cleaning up
97
00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:45.480
her room before company comes over to
make me mad. Right, even though
98
00:07:45.480 --> 00:07:47.839
I've asked her five times and she
still hasn't done it. She's not doing
99
00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:51.279
it to make me mad. She's
in her own world, she's doing her
100
00:07:51.279 --> 00:07:56.160
own thing. There's probably a reason
and up to her it's probably a very
101
00:07:56.160 --> 00:07:59.920
good reason, because she knows there's
going to be consequences if she doesn't listen
102
00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:03.879
to Daddy. So for her it's
a really good reason why she's not cleaning
103
00:08:03.959 --> 00:08:07.360
up her room, even though I
asked her to five times. But one
104
00:08:07.399 --> 00:08:11.879
of the reasons definitely isn't to Piss
Dad off. Now, maybe that's going
105
00:08:11.879 --> 00:08:16.240
to change a little once the girls
get like it. If you got teenagers
106
00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:20.480
right, or like kids are a
little bit older, then yeah, there's
107
00:08:20.519 --> 00:08:24.439
probably instances where they're going to do
stuff just to Piss off mom and dad.
108
00:08:24.680 --> 00:08:28.639
Right, but it's still even though
they're doing stuff to Piss off mom
109
00:08:28.680 --> 00:08:33.399
and dad, it's still really about
them. Right, they're fighting some inner
110
00:08:33.440 --> 00:08:37.600
demon, they're fighting some develop mental
challenge that they're going through right now.
111
00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:41.600
Right their brains are all twisted in, their hormones or all raging, so
112
00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:46.480
deep down inside they're probably really not
doing it. They're doing it for something
113
00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:50.960
else. They just don't know how
to express that something else yet right.
114
00:08:50.519 --> 00:08:54.919
So it's not about us. We
got to God, to God, to
115
00:08:54.960 --> 00:09:01.600
start stop taking things personally. It's
just it's whack. It wastes too much
116
00:09:01.600 --> 00:09:05.320
time, it wastes too much energy
and no one's got time for it.
117
00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:09.559
They really don't. So this week
we're just going to do things a lot
118
00:09:09.639 --> 00:09:16.720
differently. I'm not going to be
taken the musical commercial long commercial breaks like
119
00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:20.200
I've done in the past. This
is going to be like a shorter episode,
120
00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:22.960
a quick listen, so people you
know. I'm going to try to
121
00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:26.480
get this puppy under thirty minutes,
so then people can just listen, get
122
00:09:26.519 --> 00:09:31.960
a quick little tips before you know
they get back into the holiday season.
123
00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:37.879
We're so busy during these holidays that
I not sure if all my listeners have
124
00:09:37.039 --> 00:09:41.000
an hour to dedicate to an episode. So we're you know, this is
125
00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:45.919
just going to be a shorter,
little quick hit episode. Make sure you
126
00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:50.600
check out all our other episodes on
Dad's with swagcom. Go to Itunes,
127
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:54.519
rate review the show. Hit me
up on social media at your coach,
128
00:09:54.600 --> 00:09:58.759
Sean Man, I got, I
got. You know, I love,
129
00:09:58.799 --> 00:10:01.600
I love interacting with you guys on
social media. It's pretty cool. I
130
00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:07.720
got a message from cmbohne eighty six
last week, man, telling me how
131
00:10:07.799 --> 00:10:09.879
much you know he's a new listener
and how much he loved the show,
132
00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:13.600
and that just means so much to
me, man, it really I love
133
00:10:13.639 --> 00:10:16.600
the fact that you guys care about
this program in this platform, you know,
134
00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:20.519
for dad's by Dads, but we
got a lot of moms out there
135
00:10:20.559 --> 00:10:24.440
to listening. So hit me up. I'd Love I love interacting with you
136
00:10:24.440 --> 00:10:26.559
guys and if you guys have any
topics that you want, you know you
137
00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:30.720
want to hear about, hit me
up, man. I'm always down to
138
00:10:30.799 --> 00:10:33.840
learn about new things and talk about
new things. And if you ever want
139
00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:37.279
to be a guest on the show
and talk about anything you want, hit
140
00:10:37.320 --> 00:10:39.240
me up, man. I'd love
to have you as a guest. And
141
00:10:39.279 --> 00:10:43.200
if you can't make it into the
Dazzle Swag Studio out here in Phoenix,
142
00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:46.159
Arizona, then we could always get
you on the show via skype. There's,
143
00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:50.240
you know, this modern technology.
There's all kinds of things we can
144
00:10:50.279 --> 00:10:52.519
do. I love to get back
to charity. Sometimes I find it hard
145
00:10:52.519 --> 00:10:56.360
to just cut a big check.
I get so busy with the wife and
146
00:10:56.440 --> 00:10:58.159
kids. I'm more of a set
it and forget it kind of guy.
147
00:10:58.240 --> 00:11:01.279
That's why I love the Angel Club. I can pick the amount I want
148
00:11:01.320 --> 00:11:05.799
taken out of my checking account every
month. I never see the money,
149
00:11:05.799 --> 00:11:09.759
so I never miss the money and
I could always feel good knowing I'm giving
150
00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:13.120
back every month. If you want
to join the Angel Club, just go
151
00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:18.799
to Pierce Family Foundationcom. Let's just
get right back into this. Another thing
152
00:11:18.840 --> 00:11:20.919
you can do to help combat this
holiday stress, this stress. And then
153
00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:26.080
it's not even just the holidays.
For me, it could happen anytime at
154
00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:28.320
a school year right. It could
happen anytime, even in the summer while
155
00:11:28.440 --> 00:11:33.120
traveling, like stress just POPs up. Another thing that I have to remember
156
00:11:33.159 --> 00:11:37.519
all the time is to play,
right. I love to play. Just
157
00:11:37.559 --> 00:11:41.120
play anything. Play Board Games,
go outside and play tag with the kids,
158
00:11:41.159 --> 00:11:45.240
play dress up, like I remember
when the girls were so small,
159
00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:48.519
we used to play together all the
time and I loved it. It made
160
00:11:48.559 --> 00:11:54.360
me so happy. Reminiscent of my
childhood and there's something so stress relieving about
161
00:11:54.559 --> 00:12:01.639
laughter and children's laughter and having a
childlike laughter. Right. When was the
162
00:12:01.720 --> 00:12:05.440
last time you just laughed like you
were six years old? It was probably
163
00:12:05.519 --> 00:12:09.120
been a long time, but we
have to continue to do that. We
164
00:12:09.159 --> 00:12:11.919
have to remember to play with our
kids. We have to remember to act
165
00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:16.240
like children again. Right, just
because we're old and we got bills and
166
00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:20.320
we got responsibilities and we have all
these things that we got to do,
167
00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:26.559
doesn't mean that we can't continue to
play, laugh and enjoy life, right,
168
00:12:26.600 --> 00:12:30.480
because that's really what it's about.
It's about enjoyment. This this life
169
00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:33.840
we have, is about living the
best possible life we can, and life
170
00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:39.440
is a lot better when we're playing
and we're laughing and we're having a good
171
00:12:39.480 --> 00:12:43.279
time. Right. I definitely know
that, because all your burdens, all
172
00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:46.120
your stress, is all your worries, when you're in the middle of planing
173
00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:50.919
an intense kickball game, they go
away, right, they go away.
174
00:12:50.919 --> 00:12:54.360
Well, that is until the kids
start fighting or arguing about whether they're safe
175
00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:58.720
or out. Then all the stress
comes back. But there's probably going to
176
00:12:58.720 --> 00:13:01.120
be a couple good innings in there, right, you're going to get a
177
00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:05.240
couple good innings. Or you're playing
that game of monopoly and so you know
178
00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:09.559
one kid quits because they're almost out
of money. That happens, but you'll
179
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:13.360
get a couple good turns around the
board. So play, be childlike.
180
00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:18.559
Be Childlike in your life. Another
cool thing, and I haven't done this
181
00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:20.440
for a while now and I need
to get back into it. Wife you
182
00:13:20.519 --> 00:13:24.559
man, she's been giving me the
business put on a little holiday weight.
183
00:13:24.679 --> 00:13:28.519
Well, I put the holiday weight
on a couple years ago and I've just
184
00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:33.919
kept that holiday weight on. But
exercise, exercise is so important and I
185
00:13:33.919 --> 00:13:37.480
don't do it enough myself. So
I'm you know, I'm my own worst
186
00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:41.480
enemy because I know these things in
my brain and these things that I need
187
00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:46.840
to do in these things that I
should do to live an even more blessed
188
00:13:46.919 --> 00:13:50.320
life than I have now, but
sometimes I still don't do it right.
189
00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:52.159
I have all the knowledge, I
have all the tools in my tool belt,
190
00:13:52.200 --> 00:13:56.759
but I still don't use them.
So one that works really well is
191
00:13:56.799 --> 00:14:05.960
exercise. Exercise can help so much
right because it allows you to release all
192
00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:11.600
those endorphins, all that pent up
energy and frustration. And it's not like
193
00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:16.240
the kind of energy you're thinking of, like Oh, I'm so exhausted,
194
00:14:16.279 --> 00:14:18.960
I've been working all day, I
don't have the energy to do this,
195
00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:24.320
that or the other, right,
but more like this pent up frustration energy.
196
00:14:24.440 --> 00:14:28.960
Right, it's kind of like a
boiling pot, right, like you
197
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:33.639
got that kettle on the on the
on the stove and the waters boiling and
198
00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:35.960
then all of a sudden the whistle
starts whistling, right, and after the
199
00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:41.039
whistles whistling and you still haven't gotten
it because you halfway through that awesome season
200
00:14:41.159 --> 00:14:45.240
of like stranger things and you like, Oh, I just can't get to
201
00:14:45.279 --> 00:14:46.399
it, I can't get to it, I want to see this episode.
202
00:14:46.440 --> 00:14:50.080
I got to finish this episode.
And then after it starts whistling for a
203
00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:54.080
while then like water starts spurting out
of it, right, the steam in
204
00:14:54.120 --> 00:14:58.639
the water starts spurting out and then
it starts bubbling over. Well, that's
205
00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:03.159
like us with stress and a emotions, right, if we don't do something
206
00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:07.960
to relieve that pressure, we're going
to boil over. And I'm sure you
207
00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:11.080
can tell, right. I'm sure
you can tell when you're at a place
208
00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:15.960
where you're about to boil over,
right, where it's been so much and
209
00:15:16.200 --> 00:15:20.799
so hard and it's built up for
so long that the steam comes out right
210
00:15:20.840 --> 00:15:24.159
in the morning the kids take too
long to get ready, right, so
211
00:15:24.200 --> 00:15:26.559
boom, some steam comes out and
you yell a little right, or you
212
00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:31.240
talking a stern voice, or you
get angry, and then you're on your
213
00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:35.080
way to the office and somebody cut
you off it in traffic, right.
214
00:15:35.240 --> 00:15:39.279
So now you bubble it up even
more. And a little bit of that
215
00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:41.039
that. No, it's not just
the whistle. Now the steam in the
216
00:15:41.039 --> 00:15:46.919
water, foamy waters coming out right, and then you get home from work
217
00:15:46.919 --> 00:15:50.919
and your wife says something and then
boom, you explode, right, it
218
00:15:52.080 --> 00:15:54.440
just boils over because that's all you
could have, it's all you could handle.
219
00:15:54.919 --> 00:15:58.240
But now, if you would have
went and worked out, got some
220
00:15:58.320 --> 00:16:03.759
exercise in even in the morning,
that would have brought that boil down the
221
00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:11.080
like a stillness or even a simmer, right, and then when the kids
222
00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:14.039
aren't getting ready in the morning,
it would have just been, you know,
223
00:16:14.159 --> 00:16:18.159
from a stillness to a simmer or
from a simmer to a little little
224
00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:22.039
bubble. And then you got cut
off, right, so it never would
225
00:16:22.080 --> 00:16:25.200
have escalated all the way to the
boil over. And the same thing if
226
00:16:25.240 --> 00:16:29.440
you would have exercised after work,
then you you're starting at a better foundation,
227
00:16:29.639 --> 00:16:34.440
right, so you're not getting to
that boil over explosive energy. You
228
00:16:34.480 --> 00:16:37.240
know, you got to expel some
of that energy. You got to let
229
00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:42.399
some of that pressure off and with
exercise that's a great way to do it.
230
00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:48.759
It really is. Another great thing
to do is to stay connected with
231
00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:55.519
others. Right, staying connected with
others, being part of a tribe,
232
00:16:55.559 --> 00:16:59.679
part of a group, having some
people that you can talk to things about
233
00:16:59.720 --> 00:17:03.039
and and women do an amazing job
in this. There's probably like in any
234
00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:08.920
city at least like fifty mom's groups
going on at any given time that you
235
00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:14.480
can join. I know it.
DADS it's a little bit harder. You
236
00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:18.160
know it's a little bit harder to
do that. I know here in Arizona
237
00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:22.720
we got a Z dadscom which is
a great resource, and I know there's
238
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:27.240
other places you know, and other
states and cities in the US. But
239
00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:30.680
even if it's not a dad's group, even if it's just like you and
240
00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:36.119
some homies just like chopping it up, maybe going to play some pickup basketball,
241
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:40.839
then you can have you know you're
connecting with others while you're getting your
242
00:17:40.839 --> 00:17:44.640
exercise in. I know there's a
lot of guys that you know play golf
243
00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:51.519
together or join softball teams or squash
leagues or you know the list goes on
244
00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:55.480
and on and on. But find
something you're interested in, go to meet
245
00:17:55.559 --> 00:18:00.000
UPCOM, find a meet up or
group about it and then join them.
246
00:18:00.279 --> 00:18:03.920
Stay connected with people, have somebody
other than your wife and your kids and
247
00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:07.880
your co workers that you can talk
about life with. You Know Me,
248
00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:12.039
I have an amazing, you know, small group Bible study that I host
249
00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:18.079
at my house on Mondays and you
know, I stay connected with those people
250
00:18:18.359 --> 00:18:22.880
and it allows me an opportunity to
recharge my batteries, it allows me an
251
00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:29.599
opportunity to just plug in with other
people about a topic that's important to me
252
00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:34.799
and staying connected, you know,
it's so important. Fine, find those
253
00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:40.160
friends, even if you guys just
meet like once a month, you know,
254
00:18:40.319 --> 00:18:42.160
or a couple times a year or
even and then maybe you're like,
255
00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:45.200
you know what, Sean, I'm
extremely inverted. I'm not about to go
256
00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:49.119
meet some strangers that I don't know
nothing about, get marked up like,
257
00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:53.559
you know, Yada, Yada,
Yada. There's so many online parent forums,
258
00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:59.759
parent chat groups, like go on
one of those and just like plug
259
00:18:59.799 --> 00:19:03.480
in, see what other parents are
talking about. You know what other kids
260
00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:07.759
are asking for. It for Christmas
is what are the hot birthday trans like,
261
00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:14.200
whatever it may be. Just stay
connected and stay plugged in. With
262
00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:18.519
my family's busy schedule, we're always
looking for healthy snacks. Are Go to
263
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:22.960
snacks. Are Are xbars. They're
high quality and made with real ingredients and
264
00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:26.160
a label. Even I can read
enough about what's in our xbars. I
265
00:19:26.200 --> 00:19:30.240
really love what's not in them.
No added sugar, no gluten, no
266
00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:36.119
soy, dairy or any of that
bad crap. With Bell's crazy dance company
267
00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:40.839
schedule, I always make sure she
has her favorite coconut chocolate ur Xbar and
268
00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:45.920
her dance bag for AVA mixed berries
her go to school snack and they must
269
00:19:45.960 --> 00:19:49.160
have in her acting bag in case
she gets hungry. Wife gets them at
270
00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:53.519
the Madison Improvement Club when she needs
a little something, something before spin class.
271
00:19:53.720 --> 00:20:00.279
Check them out at target for yourself
or go to our xbarcom forward Swag
272
00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:06.359
and save twenty five percent once again. That's our xbarcom forward swag for your
273
00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:10.119
twenty five percent off. And I
was just at fries the other day,
274
00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:14.319
man, and you know, I
was doing some grocery shopping and I got
275
00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:17.920
hungry in the middle of my grocery
shopping and I was walking down an aisle
276
00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:19.799
and I saw to our xbars right
there. I like I might get one
277
00:20:19.799 --> 00:20:23.039
of these puppies. Grabbed me and
r x bar just's eight it while I
278
00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:26.559
was shopping around, got rid of
that angry feeling and then just get,
279
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:29.759
you know, gave the lady to
rapper. I'm like a thoughtis on the
280
00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:34.119
bill, but our xbars man hit
them up. They're good family, Yummy,
281
00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:41.039
yummy. Another important strategy is relaxation, right. You can't just will
282
00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:45.079
stress away, you can't just be
like stress, please, please, please,
283
00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:48.759
please, go away, because it's
not going to write. You have
284
00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:55.200
to do something. You have to
have stragedies, things that you can do
285
00:20:55.680 --> 00:21:00.000
that will really help our listen to
music. For me, listening to music
286
00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:06.960
is like the a number one stress
reliever. If I'm ever super stressed,
287
00:21:07.000 --> 00:21:11.279
I just go in my office.
You know, I got a nice old
288
00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:18.200
school turntable. I throw on some
blues, some jazz and I just chill
289
00:21:18.359 --> 00:21:22.720
and and listen to some music and
the stress just melts away right and then
290
00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:26.519
even if I if I, if
I'm not in the environment tour, I
291
00:21:26.599 --> 00:21:29.559
can have that set up. Man, I just throw my ear buds in
292
00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:34.839
though, something on the phone and
whether it's like smooth jazz or Nwa like
293
00:21:36.119 --> 00:21:44.480
it just the music just melts the
stress away. Another thing that I use
294
00:21:44.920 --> 00:21:49.000
all the time is this APP on
my phone. It's called the insight timer
295
00:21:49.359 --> 00:21:53.920
and it's a meditation APP and I
meditate every night, and the cool thing
296
00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:57.039
I like about this one is there's
like a whole bunch. First of all,
297
00:21:57.200 --> 00:22:00.960
the number one thing I like about
is it's free. Other than that,
298
00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:06.160
there's all kinds of different meditations you
can do and they're all time like.
299
00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:10.160
You can be like, all right, I'm having a really stressful time
300
00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:14.839
right now, I need two minutes
to just decompress. Right, go to
301
00:22:14.960 --> 00:22:19.079
the bathroom, throwing some earbuds,
take pick a two minute guided meditation and
302
00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:23.200
it'll be a two minute meditation right. Or say you got like you know
303
00:22:23.319 --> 00:22:26.839
you really have a lot of time
and you want to do a longer one.
304
00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:30.920
They have fifteen minute, thirty minute, one hour like, and you
305
00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:34.400
could build it up. or You
could even just put on this timer and
306
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:38.759
you can say all right, timer
set for forty five minutes, and then
307
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:42.400
you could do your own meditation.
It's not a guided meditation, and then
308
00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:47.279
when you're forty five minutes are up, it'll start playing this soft, you
309
00:22:47.400 --> 00:22:49.960
know, music or gongs or whatever, you pick, whatever sound you want
310
00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:55.319
to come out of it. So
that's a cool APP because meditating really clears
311
00:22:55.359 --> 00:23:00.720
the mind. Right, exercise,
release is all that extra energy, all
312
00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:04.799
that pent up bubbles, right,
but meditation, man, really just puts
313
00:23:04.920 --> 00:23:11.599
everything at ease and at peace and
it really allows you to step outside of
314
00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:17.720
yourself and see that this bs doesn't
mean nothing. Right like this, the
315
00:23:17.880 --> 00:23:22.559
person that cut you off doesn't really
mean anything in the grand scheme of things,
316
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:27.400
and it's that meditating that, you
know, helps you really focus on
317
00:23:27.559 --> 00:23:30.720
and listen to God. You know, it's funny because the people ask me,
318
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:33.720
right, because you know, everybody
knows I love Jesus, right,
319
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:37.640
he's my Homie, and people always
ask me, you know, what's the
320
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:42.839
difference between prayer and meditation? Right, because I do both. I usually
321
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:48.119
pray in the morning and I meditate
at night. And when people and I
322
00:23:48.119 --> 00:23:51.400
don't know if this is like the
real answer or like if there's a biblical
323
00:23:51.480 --> 00:23:53.960
answer or whatnot, but this is
the answer for me, this is how
324
00:23:55.079 --> 00:24:00.599
I define it for myself and for
my life. Right when when I pray,
325
00:24:00.480 --> 00:24:03.960
that's when I talk to Jesus,
right. That's when I tell Jesus
326
00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:08.039
what's up, what's going on in
my life, things that I'd like him
327
00:24:08.119 --> 00:24:12.880
to do for me or help me
with, or challenges in my life that
328
00:24:14.039 --> 00:24:18.680
I'd like him to take over for
me. And when I meditate, that's
329
00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:22.160
when I listened for his answers,
right. That's when I listened for his
330
00:24:22.279 --> 00:24:25.920
guidance. That's when I listen to
what he has to say to me.
331
00:24:26.559 --> 00:24:30.200
So when for my prayers, that's
when I'm talking, and my meditating,
332
00:24:30.440 --> 00:24:33.599
that's when I'm listening, because it's
got to be a two way conversation,
333
00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:40.720
right. Another cool thing you could
do to have some of these relaxation strategies
334
00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:44.799
is writ in a journal. Right, keep a journal. For me,
335
00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.240
journaling doesn't really work because, excuse
me, I'm not a good journalist,
336
00:24:49.559 --> 00:24:55.640
I don't like writing, I can't
read my own writing. So to me,
337
00:24:55.839 --> 00:25:00.519
journaling doesn't really help much because it's
just boring and I've never really enjoyed
338
00:25:00.599 --> 00:25:07.480
it. But for some people it
helps a lot. They say adult coloring
339
00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:11.279
books really help destress you, and
this kind of incorporates back to the play.
340
00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:15.160
I don't have any adult coloring but
I don't even know what an adult
341
00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:18.000
coloring book is, but I know
that my kids have coloring books and I
342
00:25:18.119 --> 00:25:22.079
know that I love coloring in them
and I know that when I color in
343
00:25:22.119 --> 00:25:26.519
my kids coloring books I feel less
stressed and I never really thought about that
344
00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:30.799
before until I was doing some research
on this episode and I read about this
345
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:36.279
adult coloring book stuff and I'm like
hmm, all right, and then I
346
00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:38.079
started thinking. I'm like, you
know what, every time I'm coloring I'm
347
00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:42.240
less stressed. When I'm at a
restaurant and they got the kids menus and
348
00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:45.200
one of my kids isn't using their
kids men use and I start coloring on
349
00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:49.079
it, I seem to be a
lot less stressed at that dinner outing.
350
00:25:49.400 --> 00:25:53.960
Then I typically am reading. Now
this one I do enjoy doing, you
351
00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:56.640
know. I try to do that. I'm on that like six books a
352
00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:00.400
year plan that I try to do. I know a lot of people are
353
00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:03.559
like a book a month or a
book a week, you know, but
354
00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:07.640
I couldn't. I try to do
a book, a book a month many,
355
00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:10.440
many years ago and it just didn't
work out. So that what I
356
00:26:10.519 --> 00:26:14.559
did was I did a book a
quarter and then now I've jumped that up.
357
00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:18.440
So basically, six books of years
what I do now, and I
358
00:26:18.599 --> 00:26:22.240
like reading. I stink at it
and I forget a lot of things that
359
00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:26.920
I read, but I really enjoy
it. I enjoyed this carving out that
360
00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:30.559
time that's just for me, right, those moments that are just for me,
361
00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:34.240
that I can sit down, you
know, poor glass suburban and get
362
00:26:34.319 --> 00:26:37.519
into a good book. Another thing
you could do is take a walk,
363
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:42.279
right, walking around the block,
walking around your house, like just going
364
00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:45.920
out for a nice walk, get
some fresh air, going to backyard,
365
00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:51.079
walk around, you know, just
get out there and get some fresh air
366
00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:55.519
and just get your blood flowing and
your body moving. That's another great way
367
00:26:56.200 --> 00:27:00.079
to relieve a lot of stress.
And some people people say plant a garden.
368
00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:03.240
Now I want to get into this
gardening business right. I want to.
369
00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:06.480
I want to see what this is
all about. I don't know if
370
00:27:06.519 --> 00:27:10.720
I'd be a good gardener, but
wifey and I here have you know,
371
00:27:10.839 --> 00:27:12.119
there's a part of the house where
we're like man, we should plant like
372
00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:17.359
an outside box gardens and stuff like
that, like raised bed gardens, and
373
00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:19.480
my and wife he's got this buddy, you know, that's what he does
374
00:27:19.559 --> 00:27:22.119
for a living and stuff. So
we had him come over but man,
375
00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:26.440
it seems like a lot of work. I don't know if it would alleviate
376
00:27:26.599 --> 00:27:30.559
stress in my life or add stress
to my life. I'm not sure yet,
377
00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:34.160
but a lot of people say that
gardening release relieves a lot of stress,
378
00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:37.599
and I know my grandma man,
she used to love to garden and
379
00:27:37.799 --> 00:27:42.119
she had her rose bushes and like
all of her gardens and stuff like that,
380
00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:47.440
and I'd love to have some rose
bushes out here in Arizona and have
381
00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:49.759
some nice gardens and stuff like that. I just I don't know if I
382
00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:56.319
have the patients to tend to a
garden right but maybe with time and with
383
00:27:56.519 --> 00:28:00.039
age and you know, you gain
more of that patience, but right now
384
00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:03.400
I don't know if the gardens for
me. However, I do think it'd
385
00:28:03.400 --> 00:28:07.799
be dope to be able to plant
some stuff in a garden then go back
386
00:28:07.880 --> 00:28:11.759
a couple months later and then eat
that stuff that you just planted, like
387
00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:15.000
chopping me all up out of it, like being some pots and just make
388
00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:18.039
it happen. I think that'd be
pretty cool and I'd like to plant some
389
00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:22.160
roses because I did always enjoy grandma
teas roses. I think that'd be kind
390
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:27.759
of cool to in memory of her. Now this one, I'm saying I'm
391
00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:32.119
kind of saving the best for last. Right, I'm kind of saving the
392
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:38.319
best for last because sometimes the stress
just gets so big and so unmanageable and
393
00:28:38.799 --> 00:28:41.079
you know, you're probably at the
point of the episode where you're like,
394
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:47.359
dude, no amount of exercise is
going to alleviate my stress. No amount
395
00:28:47.400 --> 00:28:49.839
of exercise is going to alleviate,
you know, the stress of living pay
396
00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:55.000
check to paycheck, or the fact
that my electricity just got shut off or
397
00:28:55.079 --> 00:28:59.480
the effect that you know, I'm
I'm behind on my mortgage, or I
398
00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:02.680
didn't get that job I wanted,
or my kids are, you know,
399
00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:07.359
buck crazy, or me and wife, he's fighting. No amount of connecting
400
00:29:07.440 --> 00:29:10.640
with others is going to help any
of that stuff. No, no amount
401
00:29:10.680 --> 00:29:14.400
of reading or doing yoga or meditating
or praying is going to do that.
402
00:29:14.559 --> 00:29:18.039
Right your you might be at that
level and you're like, none of that
403
00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:22.000
Shit you've been talking about is going
to help with my stress, with this
404
00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:26.440
stress, because this is the most
stressful of stresses that stress has ever seen.
405
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:30.640
There's not even a stress test that
can measure the amount of stress I
406
00:29:30.680 --> 00:29:33.599
got going on right now. Sean, right, that's what you might be
407
00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:38.960
thinking. So what I would suggest
for you is to ask for help.
408
00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:44.759
Just ask for help right. Ask
for help. Go see a professional,
409
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.279
whether that's a therapist, whether that's
a life coach, whether you know it's
410
00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:53.759
anybody that deals with stress in a
professional manner. Like go ask for some
411
00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:59.519
help and sit down and talk to
somebody and if you can't find somebody to
412
00:29:59.599 --> 00:30:02.519
talk to, hit me up.
I'd be more and happy to talk with
413
00:30:02.640 --> 00:30:07.440
you right because if you're at that
level where you're calling bs on all these
414
00:30:07.519 --> 00:30:11.119
other things that I've listed and you're
saying there's no way that any of that
415
00:30:11.240 --> 00:30:15.240
stuff can help with my stress,
because my stress is the ultimate stress,
416
00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:19.039
then you need to get some help. You need to get some professional help,
417
00:30:19.079 --> 00:30:22.240
and it's ain't a joke. I'm
not clowning on you, because mental
418
00:30:22.359 --> 00:30:27.559
health is probably the most important thing
in the entire world and if everybody had
419
00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:32.480
a stronger sense of mental health,
this world would be a much better place.
420
00:30:33.400 --> 00:30:34.880
And it doesn't cost money. Don't
be like, Oh, I'm broke
421
00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:37.920
as a joke, because there's a
lot of people out there that will listen
422
00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:41.759
to you and help you for free. I will listen to you and help
423
00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:45.799
you for free. There's clergy people
out there that will listen to you and
424
00:30:45.960 --> 00:30:49.519
help you for free, right.
And I don't know about a lot of
425
00:30:49.640 --> 00:30:55.160
therapists and stuff like that, but
I would probably be like eighty percent sure
426
00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:59.519
that, if you was really in
a pickle and you went to a therapist
427
00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:02.519
and you're like look, all I
need is fifteen minutes of your time,
428
00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:07.559
because this is how low I am, that they'd be willing to listen for
429
00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:11.920
fifteen minutes. So ask for help, but you got to get off your
430
00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:15.640
ass and you got to go make
the ask. Right. You can't just
431
00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:19.319
sit there in your living room,
in your office, in your car,
432
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:23.640
wherever you're at, listening to this
show and talk about how bad things are
433
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:27.640
if you're not willing to take some
action, if you're not willing to get
434
00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:30.599
off your butt and go ask for
the help, or if you're not willing
435
00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:34.400
to get off your butt and do
to exercise or get on your butt and
436
00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:38.519
do some meditation. But if it's
gotten so bad that none of those things
437
00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:41.680
are going to work, then you
got to go ask for the help,
438
00:31:42.079 --> 00:31:45.359
but you got to do it right, or you can just continue to live
439
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:49.400
in a stress life, this life
that's constant stress, constant boil over,
440
00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:55.720
constant short fuse. Right, if
you and there's some people that say which
441
00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:57.599
I like, it amazes me because
there's a lot of people out there that
442
00:31:57.759 --> 00:32:06.160
say they enjoy living in that stressful
time, not stressful part of life.
443
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:08.160
They say, Oh, I accomplish
so much more, Oh, I'm so
444
00:32:08.319 --> 00:32:14.359
much more productive when I'm stressed.
Oh, I do think so much faster
445
00:32:14.440 --> 00:32:19.039
when I wait till the last minute
and I'm stressed out about it. Yeah,
446
00:32:19.160 --> 00:32:21.559
you might do things faster, but
you're not going to do them better
447
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:25.960
and you're not going to have as
much enjoyment and then the end result isn't
448
00:32:25.960 --> 00:32:30.240
going to be as good and you're
probably not going to be as happy with
449
00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:37.839
the experience as if you distressed a
little. Right, distressed, come back
450
00:32:37.960 --> 00:32:44.240
in, get back inside yourself.
This life is meant to be enjoyed.
451
00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:51.039
Let's make sure we enjoy it.
Enjoy it with each other, enjoy with
452
00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:55.880
our friends. Our families are communities. Get out there and exercise, play
453
00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:05.720
with your kids' stop taking shit personally, because it's not about you and nobody
454
00:33:05.799 --> 00:33:09.119
can be perfect. But Jesus himself. So just get out there and do
455
00:33:09.319 --> 00:33:32.039
your best. We out. Thanks
for listening to DAD's sweat. Check out
456
00:33:32.119 --> 00:33:37.880
new episodes every Thursday or go to
dad's for swagcom download past episodes
