Recognizing Yourself as the Bottleneck to Your Business - Emi | Ep. 77

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When you speak to these people, do they realize that they're doing these things?
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And I want to solve core problems.
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Right?
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So the the tactics, the strategy, the implementation of that, like that's how how did you deal with the lack of support from your family enough to keep going?
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Truth in the air, let it speak.
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So, you know, I'm I'm glad you're here.
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Thank you.
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And I appreciate the uh the reference point connector.
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The young lady behind the camera.
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She's saying hey, like y'all can see her.
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That connector.
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Welcome back to another episode of Creative Roots Podcast with Scene, Sewn, Become Visions Grown.
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I am your host, Tay.
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And today I am sitting with two lovely women.
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One that I just met and one that bullies me on and offline.
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I'm joking.
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I'm joking.
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She doesn't.
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She doesn't.
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We do a back and forth.
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How about directs?
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Yes.
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Very, very direct.
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So I don't think that's a good thing.
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Today's co-host, um, who also introduced me to the young lady across from me, Embi, is Dow.
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What up though?
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Was Annie?
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And there you go.
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And across from me, we have Miss Emby.
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Yeah.
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She does so many things concerning business, um, consulting.
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She is a speaker, and we are gonna speak to her today.
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Well, actually, I'm gonna let her speak to me because the things that I feel I can gain from this personally, um hopefully it works and resonates with everybody else.
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So we'll see what happens.
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I look forward to it.
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It's gonna be fun.
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So, Emmy.
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Hey.
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Can you fully introduce yourself to these lovely people because I don't like getting people's intros wrong?
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Sure.
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So be happy to.
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Yeah, there you go.
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So I'm Emmy Kirschner.
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I'm the founder and intuitive strategic advisor for Sarah Luna Consulting.
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We are a business advisory or private advisory firm for um service-based business owners.
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That could be anything from um accounts, attorneys, marketing agencies, which are my most favorite companies to work with.
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Um, but it could also be landscaping, multi-location, massage studios, interior design, home stagers, professional organizers, pool companies, um, the like.
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And typically I'm working with the business owner and sometimes um part of his or her leadership team to help the business owner stop being the bottleneck because they love their business baby so much that they still think they need to be like hands-on with everything.
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And that's causing problems with team and culture, causes problems with operational processes, causes problems with just continuous growth.
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So I help um identify the open loops and gaps, develop a strategic plan, um, close those open loops and gaps in whatever areas need help.
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And then I'm working with the business owner to identify where they're holding themselves back, like where they're self-limiting, um, so that they can be the best leader and the best business owner that they're supposed to be, which normally um allows them to really free themselves up to have more time to potentially take time off or do something else, right?
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Like my my intention is for them to have a full life, not just a full business.
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So that's what I do.
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Um, in the nutshell, I've been doing this version of businessing um for over 10 years.
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That yeah, I like the word decade.
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It sounds so much stronger um than 10 years.
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I like decade.
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Maybe I'll maybe I'll start putting that in all my marketing materials.
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Yes, with over a decade worth of knowledge and information.
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I don't know why I'm holding this mic like it's wireless.
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It's a habit.
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Um sorry, I feel like I should be like playing with it.
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Right.
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Please, yeah, don't follow my lead.
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It'll be bad.
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So 10 years of helping and assisting.
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Yeah, and I started this business initially as a health coach, which is super important to me.
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Like I still am very health oriented.
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I'm continuously checking in with my clients about not as much about their eating habits, although we do talk about that periodically, but are they getting enough sleep?
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Because that can radically change everything for you if you're sleeping enough and well.
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Um, but are they working out in some form or moving and then water?
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Um, but early on, my marketing wasn't connecting with my health coaching.
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And I had envisioned myself like working with stay-at-home moms and helping with emotional eating.
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And um, that was not who my clients were.
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They were all entrepreneurs.
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They were eating emotionally because they were stressed out because their business was having an issue, whether somebody like a key employee had left or their sales were down, or whatever, whatever thing was happening.
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And I figured that out when I started having conversations about why are you eating the tub of ice cream at 10 o'clock at night standing in front of the freezer in the dark.
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So I just organically like started solving those problems in addition to the emotional eating aspect.
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Uh, and then I was like, oh, maybe I should do this.
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And so I said, Well, the health and wellness is still really important to me.
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Um, being able to help people grow businesses that are sustainable, that are thriving, that are prosperous and profitable is really the best way for me to serve.
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I like that you went from change your diet to change your business model.
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Yeah.
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And honestly, I think they both go hand in hand, you know, like you were saying, because sometimes you don't realize that you're doing something, and that's how you end up in these situations where you start eating this ice cream in the dark in front of the freezer, waiting to figure out where you're gonna put the ice cream back.
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See, no, I'm gonna say I can't eat ice cream like that.
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I love it, but I can't eat it like that.
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I've never really been into sweets, right?
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What I have an issue with is I will binge on fruit.
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Okay.
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And I can't eat strawberries.
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Interesting.
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Are you allergic to strawberries?
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Yeah, I find this out years later.
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Yes.
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Yeah, okay.
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You're the second person I know with that allergy.
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Yes.
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Like they'll break me out.
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Yeah.
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Um, but it's like honey for some people, where I know someone that if they eat strawberries, it's like, okay, epipen ER, you know, um, and peaches.
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I can't eat peaches either, but I love fruit.
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And I will literally just sit there and just eat all the fruit in the house.
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My wife and my kids are like, Really?
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And I'm like, oh, I I did that.
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Um at least it was healthy though.
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I mean, I left y'all the cereal, you know, I left y'all the fruit snacks.
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You know.
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See, I thought you were gonna say like chips or french fries, because people usually go from like, oh no, I'm not an ice cream sweet person.
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I love salt and like crunchy things.
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Yeah, but fruit's like good for you in normal amounts.
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Normal amounts.
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Yeah.
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Yes.
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But you know, some people they I guess I want to ask this question.
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When you speak to these people, do they realize that they're doing these things?
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And sometimes, yeah.
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Okay.
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Yeah, like that's part of why we're connecting.
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It's like they know they're the bottleneck.
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Um, and I've been doing a lot of networking lately, lately.
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And when I say that, people are in my little Zoom box are like, that's me, that's me, I'm the bottleneck.
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I know I'm the bottleneck.
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But they're not like they need somebody outside of them to come and help them figure it out because it's not like for me, I want to solve core problems.
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Right.
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So the the tactics, the strategy, the implementation of that, like that's easy.
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The problem or the place where we all get like messed up is everything that's going on in our head that creates the emotion around, I can finish this, I can't finish this, I don't know how to do this, I'm great at this.
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Like, whatever we're telling ourselves.
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Um, a lot of times if we're still holding on to like I have to um be in charge of all the things.
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And we've got this little running dialogue about um, I can't find people to hire.
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Hiring's hard.
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There's no good people.
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I hear that one all the time.
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Well, when you go to hire, you're not gonna find or attract the people that you could potentially, and you're not gonna put the time into writing the job description, really understanding who you're looking for, who's a match for you, who's gonna help fill in the gaps, right?
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And you're not gonna be as open to receiving that best person.
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So I work on that piece so you can attract the best person and the tactical part of writing the job descriptions and the hiring process and the onboarding process and the personal on the professional personal development of that person throughout the entire um time that I'm working with my client.
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And that's just one area.
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Like I work in whatever area they need.
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I just wrote scripts for intake scripts for a client of mine this past week.
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Yeah, you kind of just hit on some stuff.
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Um that's me.
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You know, it's like I have to do it, but I can't finish this.
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Well, I'll work on this next thing.
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Yeah.
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And next thing I know, you know, as a visionary, I've got thousands of things that I can visually see.
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And then trying to figure out how to implement it, put it into place.
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Do I need help?
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Do I not need help?
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Um, can I hire somebody?
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Can we place someone here, place someone there?
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Who do I have as a resource that I can use now?
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Right.
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And then it gets to the overwhelming part and it's like, forget it.
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Yeah.
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I'll forget it.
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I'll just Well, and that's like most visionaries, you're idea generators.
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Like I'm an I I can come up with ideas all day long, which is great for my clients because it's in a limited span.
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And then we can go and implement on that.
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And I'm potentially in charge or helping the client implement, but I'm not the implementer.
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Right.
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Right.
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In my business, like I have a little um thing in my clickup, little list where I put my ideas now, because otherwise I'll start 27 of them and finish none.
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Yes.
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So it's knowing that like that's what your personality is, being in acceptance of it, for me it is at least, and then finding the people to help you be the implementer, like to and to do some of that work.
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So like it's just for me, it's understanding who you are and what your strong points are, your zone of genius, and letting go of the other parts because while you were saying like you're super detailed about how everything is, in some other place you're not because you're not supposed to be.
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I agree.
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Yeah, I agree.
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So find that person who's super detailed in that part and allow them, right?
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Trust them, because that's what a lot of the um I have to do all the things.
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It's like I I don't trust either myself or I don't trust other people to deliver a product that's as good as how I envision it in my head.
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Yeah, that makes sense.
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Because something I I hear is, you know, everybody's not gonna see the vision.
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No, they're not supposed to.
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Right.
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And I think when that is stated, it's like a realization of you're correct.
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And then that's when we fall into that space of if I don't, then who?
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If you know, it it kind of it kind of reminds me of like my mom and my grandma, you know, they say clean the kitchen.
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And as boys, we just clean the dishes.
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We don't think about the stove, we don't think about the counter, we're not sweeping anything.
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So when it comes back to I said clean the kitchen, we're like, I I did.
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Because we're only thinking about the things that we know we messed up, the things that we know are dirty, the things that we know need to be done.
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Like food is cooked.
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We don't think about, oh, you know, something may have spilled on the stove or grab the spoon and put it in there.
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And we don't think take the food out of the pot and put it in a bowl and put it in the fridge.
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No, we put the whole pot in the fridge.
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So it's it's kind of like that.
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Um when it comes to other people seeing the vision.
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Yeah.
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You know, and I know I'm not the only person because that's why, you know, you have the business that you have.
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Yeah.
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And when you get people that that think like that or that know this reality and don't realize that there's another reality that can be created from it, um, what is like a common theme or common statement that you get from people like me?
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Before I'm working with them?
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When they when you basically break down the everybody's not gonna see the vision, however, you need to trust people to be who they are gonna be in that spike, in that space.
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Um is that making sense?
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Yeah, yeah.
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Because that was a lot in my head.
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Um a lot of like, oh pause.
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I don't want to do that.
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Right, because that's scary, right?
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Like if they're not trusting people on their team, they're not trusting people in the rest of their life.
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Like, it's not like we show up as different humans in business or work or and our personal lives.
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We're the same person with the same limiting beliefs, it's just showing up differently.
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Um so I'll dive into like where is the trust gap there and how do we close that and what's gonna make them feel comfortable?
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And what does this person have to exhibit or bring to the table to be able to um to create that trust?
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And how is that person communicating to them?
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Because a lot of times um when there is that trust gap, they'll the new person or the person that they're they're bringing on, um, or existing team member who potentially has like a new responsibility, as soon as they mess up or make a mistake, which we're human and we we uh make mistakes all the time, especially when you're new in a role, like that's normal, but the business owner will be like now I have to do it myself.
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See?
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So we have kind of I don't put people in places, but well, and my son said No, I'm not saying me.
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Yeah, I was tagging along with what you said.
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Yeah, yeah.
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No, no.
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My son said, just to give perspective too, because he's um developed teams over the last couple of years, like it really takes a year for somebody to onboard and be completely proficient.
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That makes sense.
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Can I jump in right here?
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So I turn the mic on first down.
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Now we uh no, are you?
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I can't see it.
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You know, I don't so are you and your son, yeah, kind of operate like a family business, but not like like you spill your knowledge over into him.
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Oh, 100%.
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And he now is at a place where he can share knowledge with me.
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Nice, yeah.
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I love that.
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Yeah, uh, we jam when we're in person, we'll jam all day on the meaning of life, how to solve the world's problems and business.
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And it's so much fun.
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I bet.
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Yeah, you know, it takes us a while to um kind of look at our parents as humans and not just our mom or our dad.
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He says that to me last, he's 27.
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Um, so he was almost 27 last uh Christmas.
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And we were at um a restaurant sitting at the bar, and he's like, you know, um, because both my kids call me Emmy.
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He's like, I realized that like you're your own person and like an individual, not just my mom.
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Recently.
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I was like, oh surprise.
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I'm like, thanks.
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Yes, I'm multidimensional, like I have other identities and other things going on besides like just being your mom.
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And um he was he was really funny about it because he it was kind of like this light bulb moment for him.
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And I think I parented very atypically because I gave both of my kids a lot of leeway to mess up.
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I created places for them to fail, um, particularly in high school.
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I did not um follow them around, like um, you know, checking in all the time, and a lot of independence to make decisions based on who like they thought they were and have boundaries, and um it so far it's paid off well.
00:18:57.039 --> 00:19:07.839
Yes, both of them are really like together humans who are clear about what they want and um where they want to go, and they're both very different.
00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:13.359
So yeah, that's that's kind of like me with my daughter.
00:19:13.519 --> 00:19:17.920
Every time I think about her, she's turning 20 in December.
00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:28.000
I have an almost 20-year-old, and I know when I was growing up, there was like curfew restrictions, can't do this, don't do that.
00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:31.519
But I know what that does to you.
00:19:31.920 --> 00:19:38.400
And just the me and the people that I've seen is like an I'll show you type thing.
00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:42.319
You know, you can't do this, and it's like, okay, watch me.
00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:42.799
Oh, yeah.
00:19:43.039 --> 00:19:52.880
And I'm like, I don't want my kids to, in a sense, have that resentment towards whatever this is, because then childhood trauma that becomes your way of life.
00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:58.799
You know, you're too busy trying to prove somebody wrong instead of just proving yourself right.
00:19:59.200 --> 00:19:59.839
That makes sense.
00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:06.319
Yeah, I mean, I think parenting was very authoritarian as a Gen Xer.
00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:13.039
And I'm one of those people too, where you start telling me it can't do anything, that like, uh-uh.
00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:32.160
Like I would get in trouble for something, and my parents would would we would have whatever conversation I was in trouble about, and you can't do this, and I told you no, and you can bet your ass that like that as soon as I left that house, the first thing I was gonna go do was whatever they told me I couldn't do.
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:32.880
Right.
00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:38.000
And like that's just my personality, and I'm not saying it's a good thing all the time.
00:20:38.319 --> 00:20:38.880
True, right?
00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:47.519
It does create a space where I am open to trying things and being outside of the box, which is really beneficial.
00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:52.079
It also makes me contrarian at times where if I just followed along, it'd be a lot easier.
00:20:52.960 --> 00:20:59.119
So, but it's that experience um of like, all right.
00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:11.519
Well, I don't want to be authoritarian with my kids, really led me to be, um, and they're both very, as I said, different and different, like neurodivergent, different as well.
00:21:12.079 --> 00:21:23.599
Um so I wanted to be their mentor and guider, not the person who was telling them what to do, because I believe that we all inherently know what's best for us.
00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:30.640
And um, it was so much fun and really challenging because they were so different.
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:46.480
And um, whatever worked for one kid definitely didn't work for the second one, but also just understanding, like being in this journey of, oh, that's what you need, and this is what is gonna really help you um move through whatever we're navigating at the time.
00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:47.920
Um, yeah.
00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:59.759
Let me really like understand who you are and not who I think you are.
00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:01.839
And I agree.
00:22:02.079 --> 00:22:06.960
I tell people you have to know who you're talking to and who you're dealing with.
00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:09.920
That way you know how to interact and respond.
00:22:10.079 --> 00:22:19.519
You know, and I say a lot of times, like, I can't talk to in this situation, I can't talk to Shamar the way I would talk to Dom or Dina or John.
00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:27.200
I can't talk to my daughter the same way I would talk to my baby boy, and I can't talk to my baby boy the same way I talk to my oldest son.
00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:27.519
Yeah.
00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:35.519
You know, you have to know who you're talking to, who you're, you know, interacting with so you can respond accordingly.
00:22:35.759 --> 00:22:38.400
Some people need that harsh tone.
00:22:38.720 --> 00:22:41.039
Other people, they need that real soft voice.
00:22:41.119 --> 00:22:41.440
Yeah.
00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:43.680
And then it's just the word choice.
00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:46.880
You know, you can't tell some people that's stupid.
00:22:46.960 --> 00:22:48.000
Why would you do that?
00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:51.359
Other people you have to tell them that was stupid.
00:22:51.759 --> 00:22:54.480
Older child, I would use some version of that.
00:22:57.200 --> 00:22:57.680
Yes.
00:22:57.839 --> 00:23:05.599
You know, so I I I like I like this conversation because I'm I'm feeling like, well, maybe I'm not that bad.
00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:06.720
You're great.
00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:07.440
Thanks.
00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:08.079
You're great.
00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:22.000
And I mean what I'm hearing and what I believe is like I don't want to put what I think the world looks like and what I believe like my kids or anybody should be doing on them.
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:32.640
Because yes, I might have some wisdom and I might be able to give guidance and suggestions, but they're them.
00:23:32.799 --> 00:23:34.319
They know what their path is.
00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:35.200
Yes.
00:23:35.440 --> 00:23:40.640
And then they turn into these adults that you know we work with.
00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:43.680
You know, we we all have clients.
00:23:43.759 --> 00:23:47.920
And again, we can't speak to every client the same way.
00:23:48.079 --> 00:24:04.160
You know, the clients that we have that are like born and raised in like the northern area, the northeast, we can't talk to them the same way the the clients are in California or Florida because there's a different culture in these spaces.
00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:07.680
I think it's got something to do with the temperature, but you know, maybe it's just me.
00:24:08.079 --> 00:24:14.400
Well, I've spent a lot of time with people, like I mirror their tone and the my voice will speed up.
00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:30.559
But sometimes if I have somebody who's like super anxious or super whatever, and we'll be at that level together, I'll swear a lot more with somebody who's constantly dropping F bombs and I slow down and I'll speak more intentionally for the people who like that's where they're at.
00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:35.599
And it makes them comfortable, but it builds that bond and that trust really quickly too.
00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:37.039
Yes, it does.
00:24:37.279 --> 00:24:51.119
I I know a lot of times when I talk, I take a lot of pauses, and not necessarily because I'm trying to make sure that I say the right thing, it's because I need them to understand that sometimes you also just need to slow down.
00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:53.359
Like, yes, I can run rampant with you.
00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:57.599
I can, I can spit as whatever it is that needs to be, you know, set.
00:24:57.680 --> 00:24:58.480
I can go there.
00:24:58.559 --> 00:24:58.799
Yeah.
00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:02.000
But I also feel I'm gonna give you what you're giving me.
00:25:02.079 --> 00:25:06.559
You know, you have a coworker and they're just like so mad and upset.
00:25:06.640 --> 00:25:10.160
So you're trying to calm them down without saying, hey man, calm down.
00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:14.240
And and I'm speaking from experience because this happened a couple months ago.
00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:16.240
And I'm like, okay, well, tell me what's going on.
00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:17.839
Okay, well, tell me what happened.
00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:19.839
Okay, well, did you try this?
00:25:19.920 --> 00:25:20.640
Did you try that?
00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:23.200
And he was just, he just exploded.
00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:33.200
So I met him where he was, and after I did that, because it came from me, somebody that's not, he's never seen me go there, he's like, Oh, I guess I messed up.
00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:35.519
He kind of like just sat down and sat back.
00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:39.920
I'm like, now if you listen to what I'm trying to tell you, maybe you can understand what I'm asking you.
00:25:40.079 --> 00:25:43.279
Listen with your ears and stop trying to figure out how to respond.
00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:46.559
And he's like, Hey man, I appreciate that, man.
00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:47.519
You're right, you're right.
00:25:47.599 --> 00:25:47.839
Yeah.
00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:51.119
And you know, you meet people where they are, you know.
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:51.359
Yeah.
00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:53.119
And I don't think a lot of people do that.
00:25:53.279 --> 00:26:07.839
And then even with going back to, you know, the business owner, you hired these people, so you have to know enough about them of what their strengths and weaknesses are, convey the vision better than what you're doing.
00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:15.279
Because most employees they don't ask questions, they just say, Oh, I was given a task and I gotta try not to mess this up.
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:15.839
Yeah.
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:18.079
You know, well, embody the vision.
00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:18.559
Yes.
00:26:18.799 --> 00:26:21.839
Like I do a lot of mission, vision, core values work.
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:26.559
And I know there's different feelings about it depending on who you are.
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:39.279
But for me, if you're clear about communicating them, you're communicating them regularly, you're embodying especially the values, and you have a definition that everybody agrees on.
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:47.440
I like to use integrity because if we were going to be in a room of 20 people, everybody would have a different definition of integrity.
00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:49.920
So just having the word isn't enough.
00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:55.839
You've got to define it so that everybody understands what that means and then use it.
00:26:55.920 --> 00:27:03.599
Like use it in your team meeting, use it in your job descriptions, use it in how you're doing your work, make it a make it a metric.
00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:09.359
Like, are we on a scale of one to 10 embodying these things that we say we want to be?
00:27:09.599 --> 00:27:19.680
And when you start doing that and it becomes more automatic, it um it really changes the decisions that you're making and how you grow the business.
00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:22.640
Yeah, one word is not enough.
00:27:23.039 --> 00:27:29.680
No, no, and limit the core values for anybody who was like, oh, I should do this three to five, not seven.
00:27:30.079 --> 00:27:32.799
Like too many words is too hard.
00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:35.680
And you get then you get into decision fatigue.
00:27:35.759 --> 00:27:38.160
So I recommend three to five words.
00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:46.559
I like the number three, because if I remember correctly, um, these are more stable when there are three legs on them.
00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:50.160
Hence the C stands, not pole.
00:27:52.400 --> 00:27:53.359
I love that.
00:27:53.599 --> 00:27:58.720
Three three points is it's a lot more of a stronger base than having the four.
00:27:58.880 --> 00:28:01.759
And I guess it's also a thing with odd numbers, too.
00:28:01.839 --> 00:28:09.200
And I'm I'm going left on this one because when you have an even number, there's easily a way to oh it didn't do it today.
00:28:09.359 --> 00:28:10.319
Oh, I did it good.
00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:14.000
Okay, normally this thing rocks a little bit, so I guess I put it in the right place.
00:28:14.079 --> 00:28:16.559
So uh example avoid it.
00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:17.920
Uh don't worry about it.
00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:26.000
But but uh it's like having that odd number makes things sit well.
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:28.160
So I like the number three.
00:28:28.480 --> 00:28:30.000
Three's good, keep it simple.
00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:32.400
We overcomplicate everything, right?
00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:34.480
Don't give people too much, you know.
00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:41.279
Some people are there just to work, other people are there because they see the vision and they want to be there.
00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:47.440
They can all embody the vision in their own way, like that's but it's sharing it, right?
00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:58.799
And a lot of companies for a while were putting stuff on the walls, and that's lovely, and it becomes a white noise at some point, unless you're bringing it to life intentionally.
00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:02.480
So you thirsty, Ted?
00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:03.920
Just a little bit.
00:29:05.279 --> 00:29:07.200
Made me stop talking, so I had to stop.
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:13.599
So you've been doing this for over a decade.
00:29:13.839 --> 00:29:14.319
Forever.
00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:22.960
Um that's how I feel about I say I'm gonna call it holding the camera because I've done so many things with the camera.
00:29:23.119 --> 00:29:26.079
Yeah, it's been almost two decades.
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:33.119
Me and Shamar collectively has been almost three decades.
00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:34.559
That's like a lot.
00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:37.279
Take me and coach.
00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:38.480
Anywho.
00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:39.359
You know what I'm saying?
00:29:39.519 --> 00:29:40.880
I started this thing in 07.
00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:41.839
07.
00:29:42.160 --> 00:29:43.039
Give me my 22.
00:29:43.279 --> 00:29:44.400
Can I get my 20?
00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:45.440
Yeah.
00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:46.400
All right.
00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:46.960
Yeah.
00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:48.880
So let's say 50.
00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:51.119
Collectively, we in there.
00:29:51.839 --> 00:30:00.799
Because I started about 08, sitting in my room holding this candy T3i, taking pictures in the dark.
00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:01.920
Mine don't look like that.
00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:03.119
You ain't got no light.
00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:14.880
See, this is amazing because you both do the thing that would like I can't, I mean, I could, but would never do well and don't have the patience for.
00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:18.640
You'd be surprised of what goes into quality.
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:21.440
Oh, I've edited things, video things.
00:30:21.519 --> 00:30:24.640
It's no, there's a lot of swearing coming out of my mouth.
00:30:25.119 --> 00:30:26.000
Oh no.
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:27.599
Yeah, no, no.
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:31.440
See that instantaneous zero to like 5,000 frustration level.
00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:32.240
It's like that.
00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:38.559
So I have such an appreciation for how you both make it look so effortless and beautiful.
00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:40.559
If only she knew.
00:30:40.799 --> 00:30:41.680
Love, love.
00:30:42.079 --> 00:30:42.960
Thank you though.
00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:43.359
Yeah.
00:30:43.599 --> 00:30:45.440
I feel like you just stumbled into a thing, though.
00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:59.359
It's like sometimes folks default to trying to correct their, I don't want to say weaknesses, but areas of improvement instead of just leaning into what they're already naturally good at and just doubling down on that.
00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:01.279
So an angel thing.
00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:02.400
No, it's not.
00:31:02.559 --> 00:31:03.839
And it won't ever be.
00:31:07.119 --> 00:31:07.759
And I'm okay.
00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:09.119
I'm okay with that.
00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:10.079
Yes.
00:31:10.319 --> 00:31:17.200
You know, and you know, you said um not uh not their weaknesses.
00:31:17.359 --> 00:31:18.319
What did you call it?
00:31:19.279 --> 00:31:20.400
Areas of improvement.
00:31:20.960 --> 00:31:24.240
But this was one of my quote unquote areas of improvement.
00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:34.480
Like I knew I needed to be in front of a camera talking to people, but it was always a thing of no, because I don't want to talk.
00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:36.000
I'm gonna be on camera.
00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:40.720
Whatever is said and captured, that's quote unquote etched in stone, you know.
00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:45.359
But then the realization of you can always go back and be like, hey, I apologize.
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:47.599
I said something wrong, I got it wrong.
00:31:47.759 --> 00:31:53.680
My bad, you know, in the comments on YouTube or whatever, you know, walking around calling things on YouTube.
00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:55.440
Oh man, hey, get that poll for me.
00:31:55.599 --> 00:32:00.559
And it's really a light stand, you know, get the tripod.
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:08.480
I had somebody call a monopod a tripod because it had three feet, and I'm no, it's not never mind.
00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:29.039
But you know, we digress, yes, so it's like I hear what you're saying, like, yeah, get somebody else to do it, but sometimes you might need to work on it, but at the same time, when you get to a certain level, you do need to just pass things off.
00:32:29.279 --> 00:32:33.599
And when you do, Dom and I, Shamar and I, we are here.
00:32:33.920 --> 00:32:36.079
You need a photographer, we got you.
00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:38.720
You need a videographer, you know we got you.
00:32:38.960 --> 00:32:41.119
You need a studio, we got you.
00:32:41.359 --> 00:32:43.039
Is there anything I'm missing, Dom?
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:44.319
Strategy.
00:32:44.559 --> 00:32:48.240
If you need business strategy, you need strategy, you need help with life.
00:32:49.039 --> 00:32:50.240
We got you.
00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:55.759
Because sometimes we do become a therapist.
00:32:56.160 --> 00:32:59.440
Oh, my clients refer to me as a business therapist all the time.
00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:02.880
Yeah, we because you're holding space for people.
00:33:03.119 --> 00:33:10.799
Yes, like the work you're doing, you're you're capturing them in a way that that they can't do on their own.
00:33:11.680 --> 00:33:14.640
And that's magical and really cool.
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:26.640
And again, there's the trust piece, but you have to get to know somebody, build that trust, and then excavate all of their delicious goodness in a really quick short period of time.
00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:28.720
That takes talent.
00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:38.960
And then you have to go back and do all of this magical stuff over there that I don't even want to know how you're doing and be very detailed about it.
00:33:39.359 --> 00:33:40.799
Yes, because I'm big on detail.
00:33:40.960 --> 00:33:50.240
When I tell you it took me maybe an hour to get this the way that it is now, I'm willing to bet you I'm gonna look back and be like, I understand.
00:33:50.960 --> 00:33:51.680
I understand.
00:33:51.839 --> 00:34:00.240
When I do my burn dinners, I have I'm gonna call it old-fashioned because I don't think people have China anymore, except for me.
00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:06.880
Um and yeah, you know, you used to get the 12 place settings when you got married and all that stuff.
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:07.839
We still have hours.
00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:09.679
I have two sets now because I have my mom's.
00:34:10.480 --> 00:34:13.920
If you had asked me five years ago, I've been like, why would I need that?
00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:17.039
And now I'm like so super excited because I have this whole story to tell.
00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:18.480
And I digress.
00:34:18.719 --> 00:34:26.239
But um my China's cream with gold rim, and then it has a white, like floral pattern on it that's very faint.
00:34:26.559 --> 00:34:26.960
Yes.
00:34:27.199 --> 00:34:31.199
Nobody except for me probably knows it's there or that there's an up and a down.
00:34:31.760 --> 00:34:39.840
And I every time I use it, I set every plate so that floral pattern is exactly at 12 and six.
00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:45.840
Yeah, even though I'm layering it with like a soup bowl or a napkin or something else.
00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:49.119
So yeah, that table setting takes forever.
00:34:49.360 --> 00:34:52.960
Where I'm gonna say normal people would just put the plates down.
00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:56.000
But it's for me, it's the experience.
00:34:56.159 --> 00:35:00.480
Like all those details matter because people walk in and they're like, oh my God, this is beautiful.
00:35:00.559 --> 00:35:03.519
And look, this little thing you did, and look at over here.
00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:09.679
And it creates a sense of uniqueness and specialness, which is what I want the evening to be.
00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:11.920
This isn't your everyday dinner.
00:35:12.320 --> 00:35:21.280
Yeah, and uh, you know, it's kind of like how chefs they create this plate, and if it's off just a tad, it's like they have to redo the whole thing.
00:35:21.519 --> 00:35:21.840
Yeah.
00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:28.639
Because we know we're gonna put this plate down, and regardless of what it looks like, somebody's gonna eat it.
00:35:28.880 --> 00:35:30.960
But we're focused on the presentation.
00:35:31.199 --> 00:35:45.760
You know, um, you you see uh on social media where people are like, we spent 10 hours working on one thing that nobody's gonna notice except another video editor or another photographer or videographer.
00:35:45.840 --> 00:35:51.679
Like when you've been doing something for so long, you can just look and say, I know what he did.
00:35:51.920 --> 00:35:53.199
I know what she did.
00:35:53.760 --> 00:36:05.679
You can tell when somebody cropped a picture, you can tell when somebody zoomed in on the video, you can tell when somebody messed up and had to go in and like really doctor something.
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:06.239
Yeah.
00:36:06.559 --> 00:36:09.519
And most people would be like, I thought it was a great video.
00:36:09.599 --> 00:36:11.280
I'm like, nah, he messed up five times.
00:36:11.440 --> 00:36:12.239
Y'all missed it.
00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:12.719
It's okay.
00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:13.679
I caught it.
00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:14.480
I heard it.
00:36:14.960 --> 00:36:15.760
That's not easy.
00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:17.840
So you're not showing Grace out here?
00:36:18.079 --> 00:36:18.800
Not showing who?
00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:19.360
Grace.
00:36:19.679 --> 00:36:20.480
Not today.
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:21.119
Okay.
00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:22.639
That's wild.
00:36:22.880 --> 00:36:27.280
Well, I didn't call any names, so I'm just saying, it just seemed a little harsh.
00:36:27.360 --> 00:36:28.719
You're like, nah, yo, that person messed up.
00:36:28.800 --> 00:36:30.639
I'm sure they put their heart into it, Tay.
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:31.920
Oh, I'm sure they did.
00:36:32.159 --> 00:36:33.280
They overlooked something.
00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:33.599
Yeah.
00:36:33.920 --> 00:36:34.800
That's what we'll call.
00:36:35.039 --> 00:36:36.079
They overlooked it.
00:36:36.239 --> 00:36:37.519
So they got it correct, though.
00:36:37.599 --> 00:36:38.079
They fixed it.
00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:40.000
I'll give you credit for fixing it.
00:36:40.079 --> 00:36:43.599
Now, if they would have just left it, no grace giving at all.
00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:45.360
You know you did that wrong.
00:36:45.599 --> 00:36:46.079
You know.
00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:51.840
But I'm not gonna lie, like, there's been times where I'm shot and I'm like, this is the wrong color profile.
00:36:54.239 --> 00:36:54.559
Oh.
00:36:55.840 --> 00:36:57.119
But I know how to fix it.
00:36:57.280 --> 00:36:58.400
Yes, I know how to fix it.
00:36:59.039 --> 00:37:01.119
You have really high standards, fix an impulse.
00:37:01.360 --> 00:37:01.599
Yes.
00:37:01.679 --> 00:37:02.159
Yeah, yeah.
00:37:02.400 --> 00:37:02.880
Yes.
00:37:03.119 --> 00:37:04.719
High standards, don't we dumb?
00:37:05.039 --> 00:37:05.840
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:09.280
Yeah, oh uh well, I'm just gonna go down the path at this point.
00:37:11.599 --> 00:37:15.760
But I mean, I've been told my entire life, like, your standards are too high, your standards are too high.
00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:17.440
Why do you make things so challenging?
00:37:17.679 --> 00:37:20.079
And I'm like, this is me being me.
00:37:20.559 --> 00:37:20.800
Yes.
00:37:21.039 --> 00:37:22.800
Like, yeah, my standards might be high.
00:37:22.880 --> 00:37:29.599
And yes, I may be a little neurotic about my plates, but at the same time, like, why do I have to come down?
00:37:29.840 --> 00:37:31.280
Why aren't you leveling up?
00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:36.079
Like, why aren't you like, oh, hey, there's a gap, and I could move into some of this too in my own way?
00:37:36.159 --> 00:37:41.119
It doesn't have to be like like Emmy or Ty or Dime or anybody else.
00:37:41.280 --> 00:37:44.639
Like, just it's okay to level up.
00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:45.440
Yes.
00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:47.519
Why settle for mediocrity?
00:37:48.079 --> 00:37:51.679
And it's I think we need a I think we need a moment for that.
00:37:52.079 --> 00:37:52.960
We need to what?
00:37:53.119 --> 00:37:53.679
We need a moment.
00:37:53.760 --> 00:37:54.000
Why?
00:37:54.079 --> 00:37:55.840
Because why settle for mediocrity?
00:37:56.000 --> 00:37:56.159
Yeah.
00:37:56.320 --> 00:37:56.559
Why?
00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:58.239
Why are you so comfortable there?
00:37:58.639 --> 00:38:00.400
Because that's what we're being taught.
00:38:02.079 --> 00:38:03.280
I don't like it.
00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:04.960
I don't like it at all.
00:38:05.199 --> 00:38:06.480
Like, I understand capacity.
00:38:06.559 --> 00:38:09.679
It's like you may only have the capacity to get to this level.
00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:16.159
And in my mind, I'm thinking, yo, you got potential to go up here, but there's still capacity, but you might be here.
00:38:16.239 --> 00:38:17.679
You didn't even reach your capacity yet.
00:38:17.840 --> 00:38:18.079
Right.
00:38:18.239 --> 00:38:18.559
Yeah.
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:22.800
It's like just up a tiny notch, not 12 notches.
00:38:23.599 --> 00:38:29.199
Yeah, we're not asking you to take a big jump or big leap, you know, just one step.
00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:31.840
Oh, that's great.
00:38:32.000 --> 00:38:34.400
That just fell perfectly on time.
00:38:37.760 --> 00:38:42.320
Y'all, the tripod over there is we do home.
00:38:42.639 --> 00:38:43.840
It just fell.
00:38:45.679 --> 00:38:48.719
Yeah, that's been sitting there all morning.
00:38:49.679 --> 00:38:51.519
Yeah, so we're just gonna leave that there.
00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:51.920
But yeah.
00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:53.679
See what else we can get to fall.
00:38:53.920 --> 00:38:54.400
Right.
00:38:55.199 --> 00:38:59.440
So I I'm one of those people that can see other people's potential.
00:38:59.599 --> 00:39:00.079
Yep.
00:39:00.400 --> 00:39:13.039
Um, because again, as a visionary, I I can see where you can be, you know, and like Dom said, you you might be here, but this is your maximum capacity.
00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:22.559
And while we're here, you're asking us why are we not coming down it when you set a high standard for yourself?
00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:23.519
Right.
00:39:23.920 --> 00:39:25.519
It's literally for yourself.
00:39:25.760 --> 00:39:32.320
You know, I'm not expecting my level of expertise to be the same as Dom's.
00:39:32.400 --> 00:39:35.519
Dom's might be higher, it might be lower, you know.
00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:40.320
But like you say, when like Dom said, when you have a capacity, can you get to your capacity?
00:39:40.480 --> 00:39:40.880
Yeah.
00:39:41.119 --> 00:39:46.320
You know, and something else I say too is like people speak from their experience.
00:39:46.480 --> 00:39:48.719
They speak from what they know they can do.
00:39:48.960 --> 00:39:49.440
100%.
00:39:50.239 --> 00:39:54.639
And that's when you have that statement of yeah, why are you trying so hard?
00:39:54.880 --> 00:39:55.119
Right.
00:39:55.199 --> 00:40:00.480
And for me, it's not about judgment of where that person's at.
00:40:01.519 --> 00:40:06.800
Um they may be judging me, but they're really not, they're really judging themselves.
00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:07.440
Amen.
00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:08.960
Right.
00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:15.519
Because I'm not asking them to level up to me, I'm asking them to for them to be their best selves.
00:40:15.760 --> 00:40:16.239
Yes.
00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:16.800
Right.
00:40:17.039 --> 00:40:25.440
And it's like me cooking and my my plate and like your attention to detail here.
00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:37.199
If you asked me to do any of this stuff, um even if I had some knowledge of all the things that need to happen, right?
00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:47.840
And I spent a week studying, my ability in that moment isn't going to be yours because you have two decades and I have a week.
00:40:49.840 --> 00:40:57.360
But that doesn't mean that my expectation of myself can't be at a really high level, right?
00:40:57.679 --> 00:41:03.039
Where like, oh, I want to learn this, which I don't just for record, because just to let y'all know.
00:41:03.280 --> 00:41:03.519
Yeah.
00:41:03.760 --> 00:41:05.519
And we say she's gonna sit in this scene.
00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:07.920
I rate at the talking part.
00:41:08.320 --> 00:41:08.880
Right.
00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:14.000
But I can still want to be better, right?
00:41:14.159 --> 00:41:16.239
In whatever areas I choose.
00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:20.239
And it doesn't have to look like however anybody else wants it.
00:41:20.719 --> 00:41:33.039
But I feel like people are just like, oh, like this mediocrity, this like those high standards like aren't something that I can reach, and that's self-limiting.
00:41:33.599 --> 00:41:34.239
Yes.
00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:39.199
And it doesn't mean high standards have to be in every aspect of your life either.
00:41:39.519 --> 00:41:40.239
No, right?
00:41:40.320 --> 00:41:43.280
Like, not everything is equal in every moment.
00:41:44.400 --> 00:41:45.920
Now I'm hitting it.
00:41:46.719 --> 00:41:48.320
I'll just move it around.
00:41:49.039 --> 00:41:51.039
So and hopefully that makes sense.
00:41:51.199 --> 00:41:58.079
Like, okay, yeah, because like you know, you're saying, you know, the week compared to a decade.
00:41:58.320 --> 00:42:03.119
When I got here, I just knew how to use my camera.
00:42:03.360 --> 00:42:09.760
The most that I've done at that time was a documentary and music videos.
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:20.079
I've done a lot of music videos, and with that, it doesn't matter if the camera shakes a little bit, you know, because that's part of what goes into music videos.
00:42:20.320 --> 00:42:27.519
Documentary is sitting on a tripod and you have your interviewer, you know, off camera, you know, angled off camera.
00:42:27.599 --> 00:42:29.119
There's a proper term for that, y'all.
00:42:29.280 --> 00:42:32.559
I don't remember what it is right now, so don't come for me.
00:42:32.880 --> 00:42:35.920
Um, but that was like all I knew.
00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:44.000
So when it was like, hey, we're in a podcast studio, we need to have a podcast to let people know we know what we're doing.
00:42:44.079 --> 00:42:46.880
And I was like, how am I supposed to do that?
00:42:47.039 --> 00:42:52.480
So it took me time, it took me rushed knowledge.
00:42:52.559 --> 00:42:55.119
And, you know, like you said, your son says it takes a year.
00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:59.840
I had to force that year into like two months.
00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:00.639
Yeah.
00:43:01.119 --> 00:43:05.360
And, you know, yes, you you have that level.
00:43:05.679 --> 00:43:07.119
You need to bring yourself up.
00:43:07.280 --> 00:43:15.519
But no, I'm not gonna do it the same way that somebody else would that has only done podcasting, you know, five, ten years plus.
00:43:16.159 --> 00:43:24.239
Like somebody that's been doing it that long can look at this and be like, oh no, he needs to tighten up this shot, widen that shot, this, that, and the third.
00:43:24.320 --> 00:43:32.639
And I'm open to you know, opinions, feedback, you know, but you got to give yourself that space to do it as well.
00:43:33.519 --> 00:43:34.800
So, yeah.
00:43:36.239 --> 00:43:36.719
100%.
00:43:37.760 --> 00:43:39.679
I saw somebody walking past the window.
00:43:40.880 --> 00:43:41.920
Hello, people.
00:43:42.400 --> 00:43:43.840
Yeah, he's gone.
00:43:44.880 --> 00:43:54.159
So when you sit with your your clients, um, you said they already called you their their business therapist, right?
00:43:54.559 --> 00:43:55.360
Some of them do.
00:43:55.840 --> 00:44:02.559
When they come to you, how How do I want to word this?
00:44:03.199 --> 00:44:09.840
How much do they know that they may be the bottleneck or are the bottleneck for their own business?
00:44:10.400 --> 00:44:11.840
For the most part, they know.
00:44:12.239 --> 00:44:18.639
Because otherwise they would think that everything's great and that there isn't room for improvement.
00:44:19.360 --> 00:44:22.079
So they come to you and say, hey, I'm the problem.
00:44:22.239 --> 00:44:22.880
Fix me.
00:44:23.199 --> 00:44:25.039
They don't necessarily say that.
00:44:26.960 --> 00:44:28.719
It's not in those words.
00:44:29.039 --> 00:44:29.519
Yeah.
00:44:29.760 --> 00:44:33.360
I want to grow and I keep hiring the wrong person.
00:44:33.519 --> 00:44:34.960
I don't know what to do.
00:44:37.280 --> 00:44:40.559
I'm tired of working 12-hour days.
00:44:40.719 --> 00:44:43.360
I haven't taken a vacation in four years.
00:44:43.760 --> 00:44:45.920
And I don't know how to step back.
00:44:46.960 --> 00:44:50.639
Um trying to think of what else I say.
00:44:53.440 --> 00:44:58.239
Sometimes they come to me because they're like, I know I'm not leading to the best of my ability.
00:44:58.559 --> 00:45:01.519
And um I want to dial that in.
00:45:03.599 --> 00:45:04.239
Yeah.
00:45:04.960 --> 00:45:05.760
That's good.
00:45:06.079 --> 00:45:06.480
Yeah.
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:10.159
Like I can't help them if they don't want to be helped.
00:45:11.519 --> 00:45:11.760
Right?
00:45:11.840 --> 00:45:13.039
Like bring horse to water.
00:45:13.280 --> 00:45:14.480
Horse has to drink.
00:45:15.119 --> 00:45:18.320
Horse doesn't drink, then yeah.
00:45:18.639 --> 00:45:18.719
Okay.
00:45:19.440 --> 00:45:19.599
Right.
00:45:19.679 --> 00:45:24.800
And I can't want it more than they do because I've I've had that where I'm like, come on, let's go.
00:45:25.039 --> 00:45:26.079
This is amazing.
00:45:26.320 --> 00:45:26.639
I do.
00:45:27.039 --> 00:45:34.400
It really has to be at their pace, particularly with the like more of the mindset identity belief system.
00:45:34.719 --> 00:45:38.159
Because you don't just excavate that and boom, we're all changed.
00:45:38.239 --> 00:45:53.840
Like that's a that's a slow, at least in my experience, a slow process because there's you handle one thing and then um, or one area, one belief piece, but it shows back up in different layers.
00:45:54.159 --> 00:46:06.559
And when I first started doing mindset work um on myself, I still remember because I was sitting with my coach and whatever it was, like like I was like, but I dealt with that.
00:46:07.280 --> 00:46:09.039
And she's like, Oh, honey.
00:46:10.559 --> 00:46:12.079
You think you dealt with that?
00:46:12.480 --> 00:46:13.199
Humans are an onion.
00:46:13.280 --> 00:46:16.719
I'm like, no, I'm not very defensive, huh?
00:46:16.960 --> 00:46:18.159
Oh, argumentative.
00:46:18.320 --> 00:46:18.800
Yeah.
00:46:19.440 --> 00:46:22.159
I'm like, we checked the to-do box.
00:46:22.480 --> 00:46:23.119
Right.
00:46:23.679 --> 00:46:39.679
And she's like, no, you get to have like this experience until you're fully like complete in um letting it go and you're not like doing the behavior anymore.
00:46:39.840 --> 00:46:56.960
And even then it may show up, and it's a good thing because you're gonna not be as upset about it um every time you're gonna know and have the tools to reframe and to correct and um and shift a lot faster.
00:46:57.119 --> 00:47:00.880
And at some point it'll show up and it's just not gonna bother you.
00:47:01.039 --> 00:47:06.719
And she was right, like that's what I've experienced and what I've seen my clients experience.
00:47:07.360 --> 00:47:25.679
But we're onions and we have our entire lifetimes to peel back all those layers of the onion and and grow, which is really frustrating and annoying, and also like so spectacular because there's no race to be perfect.
00:47:26.880 --> 00:47:28.000
That's deep.
00:47:28.320 --> 00:47:30.320
Peel back the layers.
00:47:31.679 --> 00:47:36.079
Yeah, because some of them top layers are a little dirty, they're a little tainted.
00:47:36.400 --> 00:47:37.039
Yeah.
00:47:37.440 --> 00:47:42.159
But when you get in to like the core layers, yes, things happen really quickly.
00:47:42.400 --> 00:47:42.800
Yes.
00:47:43.039 --> 00:47:46.480
So, and and the emotion around it isn't there.
00:47:47.280 --> 00:47:56.480
And that's when you know you've really handled and you've like the whatever you're working on, um, there's real like real, true, complete growth.
00:47:58.159 --> 00:47:59.119
Well said.
00:47:59.519 --> 00:47:59.920
Yeah.
00:48:00.159 --> 00:48:03.440
You're no longer triggered by those things, like you're no longer reacting.
00:48:03.599 --> 00:48:03.840
Yeah.
00:48:04.000 --> 00:48:06.239
You're just aware of what's happening in the moment.
00:48:06.639 --> 00:48:08.800
And then they stop happening too.
00:48:09.360 --> 00:48:19.679
So um, yeah, the universe keeps keeps giving you the same problems until you handle it in different shapes and forms and challenges.
00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:21.679
So yeah.
00:48:21.920 --> 00:48:22.320
Yeah.
00:48:22.559 --> 00:48:27.599
And I don't like whenever I'm in those experiences, it's really uncomfortable.
00:48:27.760 --> 00:48:28.719
Don't love it.
00:48:29.039 --> 00:48:33.280
And I'm in a place now where I'm like, oh, look at me having this experience.
00:48:33.599 --> 00:48:36.239
Um what can I learn from it?
00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:46.559
Like, what am I here to take away from it as opposed to being upset and angry about well, they're still upset, but not in the like, why is this happening to me?
00:48:46.719 --> 00:48:50.400
It's whatever the upset of that experience is.
00:48:50.800 --> 00:48:54.239
Um, but I almost enjoy them now.
00:48:54.559 --> 00:48:55.360
Almost.
00:48:55.679 --> 00:48:56.559
Almost.
00:48:57.039 --> 00:48:57.679
Yeah.
00:48:58.079 --> 00:49:05.119
So, so Emmy, Emmy, Emmy, I know you've been doing as long as you've been doing this, I'm pretty sure.
00:49:05.360 --> 00:49:08.159
Um there's a lot of this.
00:49:08.320 --> 00:49:20.960
But when it comes to having and getting support for the things that you do and how you help people, how how has your support been from friends, families, and colleagues?
00:49:23.199 --> 00:49:24.719
Friends, fantastic.
00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:27.920
I mean, I hang out with mostly entrepreneurs, so they they get it.
00:49:28.159 --> 00:49:28.800
They get it.
00:49:28.960 --> 00:49:29.599
Yeah.
00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:34.960
Um I think my dad understands what I do.
00:49:35.760 --> 00:49:43.679
Um and I'm I think the only business owner in many generations.
00:49:43.840 --> 00:49:48.000
Like my great-grandfather owned a hardware store way back in the like 1940s.
00:49:48.400 --> 00:49:55.840
So that mindset um, well, my son gets because my older son gets because he has the same thing.
00:49:56.400 --> 00:50:11.519
Um I they don't they don't get, and they're far more supportive now from like an emotional, you know, I'm in the weeds with work and like things are going on, like and um we'll check in.
00:50:11.679 --> 00:50:17.440
But I think initially when I first started my business, it's like, oh, Emmy's doing this thing that's just different.
00:50:18.000 --> 00:50:21.599
Um but yeah, my friends get it.
00:50:22.400 --> 00:50:46.719
But I think for most business owners, like we operate in such a different way um and we love this thing, even when like everything's going wrong, that that's really unusual or very different mindset from somebody who's in a more corporate role where like their outcomes are tied to somebody else or something else.
00:50:47.039 --> 00:51:04.800
And owning a business is the most personal thing, and I think outside of having kids that you can do because it you have to really delve into every belief system and um that you have in order to make it successful.
00:51:06.480 --> 00:51:07.119
Yeah.
00:51:07.840 --> 00:51:08.239
Yeah.
00:51:08.559 --> 00:51:10.719
It's a great course in personal development.
00:51:11.119 --> 00:51:12.320
Is say that one more time?
00:51:12.559 --> 00:51:14.639
I said it's a great course in personal development.
00:51:14.880 --> 00:51:15.440
Yes.
00:51:16.320 --> 00:51:16.960
The best.
00:51:18.480 --> 00:51:19.280
You said what?
00:51:19.440 --> 00:51:20.079
It's the best.
00:51:20.239 --> 00:51:20.559
Yes.
00:51:21.360 --> 00:51:21.679
Yeah.
00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:24.320
It's it's always great here.
00:51:25.440 --> 00:51:26.400
Always.
00:51:28.800 --> 00:51:29.360
Yeah.
00:51:30.159 --> 00:51:31.440
I'm curious about that though.
00:51:31.519 --> 00:51:39.360
So if say you got a decade in, your family may not have been as supportive as you as you may have liked.
00:51:40.159 --> 00:51:42.639
I imagine you didn't have entrepreneur friends at the time.
00:51:42.719 --> 00:51:44.239
That came along the way.
00:51:44.880 --> 00:51:45.119
Yeah.
00:51:45.280 --> 00:51:51.199
I mean, I've done a lot of networking over the last 13, 14 years, too.
00:51:51.360 --> 00:51:57.440
So you started hanging out with entrepreneurs or business owners before I really was a business owner.
00:51:57.840 --> 00:51:58.559
Okay, okay, okay.
00:51:58.719 --> 00:52:01.199
Um so they were already in your circle by the time you started.
00:52:01.519 --> 00:52:01.840
Yeah.
00:52:02.000 --> 00:52:05.920
That doesn't mean that there weren't days where I was like, it'd be so much easier to get a J O B.
00:52:06.400 --> 00:52:07.599
Why am I doing this?
00:52:08.480 --> 00:52:12.320
How did you deal with the lack of support from your family enough to keep going?
00:52:12.559 --> 00:52:14.159
I don't think it mattered to me at that point.
00:52:14.400 --> 00:52:14.800
At all.
00:52:15.039 --> 00:52:15.280
No.
00:52:15.440 --> 00:52:15.760
Okay.
00:52:16.000 --> 00:52:18.079
Because I was like, not doing this path.
00:52:19.360 --> 00:52:20.000
Not.
00:52:20.800 --> 00:52:26.880
And really, like I the last time I had a real job was 1999.
00:52:27.280 --> 00:52:30.800
Just so now everybody knows how old I am when I had my kid.
00:52:31.280 --> 00:52:33.599
Like I've worked in catering.
00:52:33.679 --> 00:52:38.000
I worked at Starbucks when I was getting divorced, but I made my hours there.
00:52:38.320 --> 00:52:44.400
The marketing agency that I worked for, um, I could make my hours and I could bring my kids.
00:52:44.559 --> 00:52:47.199
We were in um my boss's house.
00:52:47.440 --> 00:52:51.360
He had converted his like walkout basement to offices.
00:52:51.519 --> 00:52:57.360
So I could bring my kids when they were sick and um couldn't go to school.
00:52:57.599 --> 00:53:01.519
So I've always had a lot of flexibility about when I work and how I work.
00:53:01.679 --> 00:53:05.519
So when people are like, oh, I've got to put in PTO, I'm like, what is that?
00:53:05.920 --> 00:53:07.599
Like I've forgotten about it.
00:53:07.920 --> 00:53:08.400
Right.
00:53:08.639 --> 00:53:20.960
And I've had so much autonomy around my schedule and what I want to do that um doing anything else at this point would be crazy.
00:53:21.039 --> 00:53:23.519
And I probably would be terrible at it.
00:53:24.400 --> 00:53:28.320
So yeah, that's that's kind of where I'm at right now.
00:53:28.559 --> 00:53:32.480
Like, if I could do this all day, every day.
00:53:32.639 --> 00:53:33.360
Oh, yeah.
00:53:33.599 --> 00:53:44.480
You know, I love it, you know, um, events, uh portrait sessions, um anything holding a camera.
00:53:44.639 --> 00:54:03.199
Now sometimes I hate the editing room, but there are moments where I'm like, There are some days where the editing room is like I'm pretty sure Don, you've seen it, but you know, the the editing room is like all these colors on the screen.
00:54:03.360 --> 00:54:08.719
There's only one light that's like hanging over the computer monitors, and everything is black.
00:54:08.960 --> 00:54:18.880
And when I'm dialed in and I'm locked into that edit, I don't hear or see anything except for what's coming out of my speakers and what's on their screen.
00:54:19.199 --> 00:54:23.760
And when I'm done, sometimes I'm like, I don't know.
00:54:24.159 --> 00:54:25.679
This one is a little iffy.
00:54:25.760 --> 00:54:27.920
Let me get another set of eyes on it.
00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:36.000
But there are moments where I sit and I'm like, I'm just proud of what I accomplished.
00:54:36.239 --> 00:54:37.440
Yeah, you're creating stuff.
00:54:37.599 --> 00:54:38.800
Yes, like you're making.
00:54:38.960 --> 00:54:39.840
That's what I love.
00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:43.920
Like I love the way I get to interact with my clients.
00:54:45.119 --> 00:54:49.840
And part of why I love cooking, and I keep like bringing it up is I like I get to make something.
00:54:49.920 --> 00:54:52.000
Like that's the art for me.
00:54:52.159 --> 00:54:53.920
Um, I have a background in catering.
00:54:54.000 --> 00:55:04.159
I've catered parties from like grandma's Sunday brunch for six to corporate parties of a thousand and everything in between.
00:55:04.320 --> 00:55:09.760
And you're making and create an experience, which I get to do with my clients in a number of different ways.
00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:14.960
And then when I get to cook for other people, not me, because it's not the same.
00:55:15.199 --> 00:55:24.159
But I'm I get to create this special moment that really encompasses all of the um all of the senses.
00:55:24.639 --> 00:55:32.880
And you're doing the same thing, like you're capturing something with sound that you can actually feel frequently frequently and visually.
00:55:33.199 --> 00:55:35.760
So like that's pretty cool.
00:55:36.159 --> 00:55:36.719
Thank you.
00:55:36.800 --> 00:55:39.360
I I like making memorable moments.
00:55:39.599 --> 00:55:39.840
Yeah.
00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:47.840
I like being able to deliver a um a project and it having replay value.
00:55:48.639 --> 00:55:57.519
You know, you don't want to record something and a whole event, and you give it to the client, and they're like, oh, that would that was that was nice.
00:55:57.840 --> 00:56:08.320
You know, you want them to be able to watch it, you know, five, ten years from now, like, man, I remember, and be able to put themselves back in that space again.
00:56:08.559 --> 00:56:09.119
Yeah.
00:56:09.760 --> 00:56:12.159
You know, so I get it with the cooking.
00:56:12.239 --> 00:56:12.480
Yeah.
00:56:12.639 --> 00:56:19.360
You know, because for me, cooking is one of those moments where I get to spend time with my oldest son because that's what he loves to do.
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:22.239
You know, the baby boy, he's a food critic.
00:56:22.480 --> 00:56:27.119
No one asked him to be nobody asks him to judge anything that was cooked.
00:56:27.679 --> 00:56:34.159
And our biggest issue when he judges is when he's like halfway done with the first plate and he's asking for a second one.
00:56:34.480 --> 00:56:35.119
Like, dude.
00:56:36.800 --> 00:56:38.800
Can you finish that plate first?
00:56:39.119 --> 00:56:39.679
You know.
00:56:39.840 --> 00:56:41.199
Um food critic.
00:56:41.519 --> 00:56:41.760
Yes.
00:56:42.159 --> 00:56:44.880
That may have been like the statement of the day for me.
00:56:45.280 --> 00:56:45.519
Yes.
00:56:45.679 --> 00:56:46.239
Food critic.
00:56:49.360 --> 00:56:50.239
He's 12.
00:56:50.639 --> 00:56:51.280
Oh god.
00:56:51.519 --> 00:56:54.800
And it's like that's such a crazy age for boys.
00:56:55.119 --> 00:56:55.440
Yes.
00:56:56.719 --> 00:56:58.400
He had the nerve to tell me one day.
00:57:00.239 --> 00:57:02.400
I asked him why he didn't eat something.
00:57:02.480 --> 00:57:04.239
He was like, because I don't eat that.
00:57:04.400 --> 00:57:06.079
I'm like, you've always eaten this.
00:57:06.239 --> 00:57:09.119
He says, oh, my taste buds changed.
00:57:09.360 --> 00:57:12.000
Your taste buds did not change.
00:57:12.320 --> 00:57:14.159
You just ate this last week.
00:57:14.400 --> 00:57:16.159
And you had three helpings of it.
00:57:16.320 --> 00:57:17.760
And your taste buds changed it.
00:57:17.840 --> 00:57:19.039
You just okay, okay.
00:57:19.119 --> 00:57:21.199
I'm gonna digress from that conversation too.
00:57:21.440 --> 00:57:22.800
But I love that.
00:57:23.039 --> 00:57:24.159
I love that.
00:57:24.719 --> 00:57:25.199
Yeah.
00:57:25.519 --> 00:57:29.599
My older guy was such a pain and and would say things like that.
00:57:29.679 --> 00:57:36.079
Like he was very independent, and this is my like my thing right this second.
00:57:36.239 --> 00:57:38.320
We just called him 12 for the entire year.
00:57:38.480 --> 00:57:41.760
Like we did not acknowledge him otherwise.
00:57:42.079 --> 00:57:45.920
Just to kind of like put him in his place a little bit, which he needed.
00:57:46.159 --> 00:57:58.400
He's a very strong will-driven person, which has created enormous success for him, but parenting him is a challenge, but wise, like he now we're colluding on business and saving the world.
00:57:58.559 --> 00:57:59.280
So nice.
00:57:59.599 --> 00:58:01.920
Yes, that's how I feel about my toy role.
00:58:02.000 --> 00:58:05.119
His his mind is just there.
00:58:05.519 --> 00:58:06.159
Yeah, it's great.
00:58:06.320 --> 00:58:11.760
And it's like, dude, for this sake of this conversation, let's let's let's bring it here.
00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:12.400
Yeah.
00:58:12.639 --> 00:58:23.760
You know, and he got it honest because I can start a conversation, have a squirrel moment, and I done went left, and then trying to come back, I don't even know what direction I took to get where I'm at.
00:58:24.079 --> 00:58:27.119
Um help bring me back.
00:58:27.280 --> 00:58:29.280
And that's how my baby boy kind of is.
00:58:29.360 --> 00:58:33.599
So I have to like, okay, listen, wait, let's let's stay here for now.
00:58:34.079 --> 00:58:35.280
But yes, it happened.
00:58:35.679 --> 00:58:38.639
Kids and adults whose minds just go.
00:58:39.840 --> 00:58:44.079
Cause I've had conversations with Dom, and I brought up five, ten different things.
00:58:44.239 --> 00:58:48.159
The last episode that me and Dom did, she was like, wait, are we still talking about this?
00:58:48.320 --> 00:58:50.159
Oh, we're talking about something new, something new.
00:58:50.239 --> 00:58:52.320
And I'm like, both?
00:58:52.800 --> 00:58:54.159
Yes, at the same time.
00:58:54.320 --> 00:58:54.639
Yeah.
00:58:54.880 --> 00:59:05.599
Now let's see if we can like throw in that third conversation so that we can have this like three-way thing going on where we know what we're talking about, but nobody else does.
00:59:06.079 --> 00:59:06.400
Right.
00:59:06.639 --> 00:59:10.159
And you know, it sometimes it just has to happen.
00:59:10.320 --> 00:59:13.920
I I'm one of those that speaks my thoughts.
00:59:14.639 --> 00:59:18.880
And I think that might be what tripped Dom up on that episode we did.
00:59:18.960 --> 00:59:26.559
Because I was like, well, and then this, and I was like, but then, and Dom just she was, hey, we still recording?
00:59:26.800 --> 00:59:27.440
I'm like, yeah.
00:59:27.599 --> 00:59:30.159
She's like, what are we talking about now?
00:59:30.480 --> 00:59:31.280
Dom, I don't know.
00:59:31.360 --> 00:59:32.480
It's an open conversation.
00:59:32.639 --> 00:59:33.920
It's we're here.
00:59:34.559 --> 00:59:36.400
You think this is gonna resonate with people?
00:59:36.559 --> 00:59:37.199
Yes.
00:59:37.519 --> 00:59:40.079
I'm not the only person, so I'm gonna resonate today.
00:59:40.239 --> 00:59:42.239
And Dom was like, okay.
00:59:43.039 --> 00:59:46.800
Because I'm thinking about the viewer and how they're gonna perceive what's what's going on here.
00:59:46.960 --> 00:59:50.239
And hey, we watched you do this in real time just now, here today.
00:59:50.400 --> 00:59:51.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:59:51.119 --> 00:59:52.559
Continue to be yourself.
00:59:52.880 --> 00:59:54.239
Thanks, Dom.
00:59:55.679 --> 00:59:56.559
I love that.
00:59:56.639 --> 00:59:57.760
Yeah, keep being yourself.
00:59:58.000 --> 01:00:00.400
You have had permission from the goddess.
01:00:00.719 --> 01:00:01.360
Yes.
01:00:02.000 --> 01:00:07.440
So I know we we talked about the things.
01:00:08.480 --> 01:00:11.440
Thank you for chiming in to oh good, because I got more questions.
01:00:11.519 --> 01:00:12.159
But all right, go ahead.
01:00:12.320 --> 01:00:12.960
You got more questions?
01:00:13.119 --> 01:00:13.280
Yeah.
01:00:13.440 --> 01:00:14.000
Oh, go ahead.
01:00:14.159 --> 01:00:16.559
Oh, because I alright, I really had two questions.
01:00:17.199 --> 01:00:19.760
One was um I had a question.
01:00:19.840 --> 01:00:23.840
I think it was when you all were talking about self-limited beliefs.
01:00:24.480 --> 01:00:35.440
And I'm I was curious about what what type of mindset do you tend to see between men and women that you uh coach?
01:00:36.079 --> 01:00:36.800
Is there a difference?
01:00:37.039 --> 01:00:39.840
Is there a noticeable difference in the mindset?
01:00:40.159 --> 01:00:44.639
Yeah, and I think this is not limited to business owners.
01:00:45.199 --> 01:00:53.039
Um, men tend to be more overconfident, and women tend to be underconfident about the same thing.
01:00:53.199 --> 01:00:53.679
Yep.
01:00:54.079 --> 01:00:57.280
Um women still wait for permission.
01:00:58.239 --> 01:01:00.960
Um, they don't ask for help as much.
01:01:02.000 --> 01:01:12.800
Um yeah, they don't wait, they don't ask for permission either, but they're like they just go and do the thing where women are like, well, should I do this?
01:01:12.960 --> 01:01:13.920
Am I good enough?
01:01:14.239 --> 01:01:19.440
So I I mean I see that just in general, the difference between men and women.
01:01:19.599 --> 01:01:23.599
I think some of that's the way we've we've grown and developed as a culture.
01:01:24.639 --> 01:01:42.159
Um and I think that I hope at least that women are starting to realize like how amazing they are and what they can build because then the stats show that women tend to reinvest into local economies more.
01:01:42.559 --> 01:01:55.360
We listen to and are able to develop, I'm gonna say, um a better team culture, but we're looking at everybody.
01:01:55.519 --> 01:02:00.480
Um, we're less about like just ourselves and how can we support the good of the many.
01:02:01.119 --> 01:02:04.400
Um, we're not playing zero sum for the most part games.
01:02:04.559 --> 01:02:07.440
Like we're really looking at how do we bring everybody along.
01:02:07.599 --> 01:02:12.320
And I'm not saying all guys are playing zero-sum games and aren't thinking about their team.
01:02:12.400 --> 01:02:15.440
And we're just talking about generalizations right now.
01:02:15.679 --> 01:02:16.159
Right.
01:02:16.320 --> 01:02:21.599
Um, and I mean, women make really incredible business owners.
01:02:21.760 --> 01:02:26.400
Um, and they solve problems that generally are impacting them.
01:02:26.960 --> 01:02:36.719
So women in general start businesses because they had an experience or a challenge or a problem that they wanted to see fixed in the world.
01:02:37.039 --> 01:02:41.360
And they're really creative with what they choose to build.
01:02:41.760 --> 01:03:04.480
All of my clients, both men and women, but um, for a while I was working primarily with women, all of my clients are the way they're growing their business or how or the stand that they're taking in their business is about um truly making an impact in whatever area or industry that's positive that creates change.
01:03:04.719 --> 01:03:06.960
And that's pretty cool to watch.
01:03:07.920 --> 01:03:08.559
Yeah.
01:03:10.079 --> 01:03:10.559
Yes.
01:03:10.880 --> 01:03:13.199
I suspected that was gonna be somewhat of the answer.
01:03:13.280 --> 01:03:25.280
Okay, because of like even as children in school, like I remember even being in class, the girls that have the answer, but won't raise the hand, but the boy would shut out the wrong answer very confidently.
01:03:25.679 --> 01:03:38.639
Very I and this is like kindergarten, but I have this memory burned into my brain still of like I was playing with a couple of boys and we were all running around being loud.
01:03:38.800 --> 01:03:40.400
I was the only one that got in trouble.
01:03:40.880 --> 01:03:42.559
I was too loud, too much.
01:03:43.599 --> 01:03:44.719
You know, piped down.
01:03:45.039 --> 01:03:46.320
It's not very ladylike.
01:03:46.559 --> 01:03:48.079
No, yeah, no, yeah.
01:03:48.880 --> 01:03:52.719
Um, so I think that's you know, I'm not the only one.
01:03:53.280 --> 01:03:59.199
And I hope that's not happening and how we're raising our girls and our boys, for that matter.
01:03:59.360 --> 01:04:11.679
Like the I think you see a difference too if you start paying attention or if you're hanging out with a bunch of four-year-old girls, like they're loud and wild and crazy and emotional.
01:04:11.920 --> 01:04:18.079
And a couple of years later, they're quiet and walking on the blue line down the hall in school.
01:04:18.639 --> 01:04:22.559
And taking that, like, I don't know, ferocity.
01:04:22.639 --> 01:04:23.360
Is that a word?
01:04:23.599 --> 01:04:36.239
I love making up words, but the ferociousness, the wildness of young girls, and trying to get them to lean into following the rules, I feel like that's just so not right.
01:04:36.800 --> 01:04:38.559
Because it's like that's the magic.
01:04:38.639 --> 01:04:41.039
That's where they can create, that's their power.
01:04:41.519 --> 01:04:55.039
And letting them be artists and letting them um just be who they are with the noise and the volume, and probably some mess with lipstick all over the the wall.
01:04:55.199 --> 01:05:02.079
Or in my case, we had uh finger paint all over the toilet and the bathroom.
01:05:02.639 --> 01:05:08.159
Um like that's that's beautiful and and free.
01:05:09.039 --> 01:05:15.519
And I think little kids really have a sense of themselves that we uh train them out of.
01:05:16.559 --> 01:05:17.679
I agree with that.
01:05:18.239 --> 01:05:19.199
Yeah, yeah.
01:05:19.440 --> 01:05:24.320
Like I would do that part of my my child raising differently.
01:05:24.960 --> 01:05:34.239
Um which may or may not have you know impacted my kids, but I just for me, I would do it differently, be a little more relaxed.
01:05:34.559 --> 01:05:40.000
But that's who I was at the time before I'd done, I did a lot of mindset work too.
01:05:40.639 --> 01:05:43.280
So see, you're just human, right?
01:05:43.440 --> 01:05:45.119
Yeah, we're allowed to grow.
01:05:45.519 --> 01:05:47.280
Yeah, kids know.
01:05:47.360 --> 01:05:52.880
I'm like, by the way, I installed all these things into you that I didn't mean to, so good luck with that.
01:05:53.119 --> 01:05:54.239
Happy growing.
01:05:57.519 --> 01:06:02.239
So um You've given a lot of advice.
01:06:02.480 --> 01:06:07.760
Um Dom is giving a lot of great advice today.
01:06:08.639 --> 01:06:24.320
So in a sense, my last question is outside of what has already been spoken, what seed would you plant for this entrepreneur that knows that they are the issue and getting over it?
01:06:24.639 --> 01:06:26.000
Ask for help.
01:06:26.400 --> 01:06:30.880
Like, I mean, please work with me and like talk to your friends.
01:06:31.119 --> 01:06:42.880
One of the things that comes out of the dinners that I I host, um, because it's all business owners, um, is that we all don't ask for help enough.
01:06:43.840 --> 01:06:46.159
And that keeps us stuck.
01:06:46.320 --> 01:06:48.239
And you don't have to figure it out yourself.
01:06:48.320 --> 01:07:00.239
Like it's not your job to have all the answers, it's your job to guide everybody to help you make the decisions and to really stay focused on that vision.
01:07:01.599 --> 01:07:03.039
And just do it anyways.
01:07:04.320 --> 01:07:05.360
Ask for help.
01:07:05.519 --> 01:07:05.760
Yeah.
01:07:06.000 --> 01:07:07.199
Very simple.
01:07:08.239 --> 01:07:12.239
Nothing that you have to overthink or underthink.
01:07:12.400 --> 01:07:12.639
Yeah.
01:07:12.880 --> 01:07:15.039
You know, just ask.
01:07:15.440 --> 01:07:15.760
Yeah.
01:07:16.239 --> 01:07:16.639
Yes.
01:07:17.039 --> 01:07:21.840
So Emmy, can you tell the people where they can find you?
01:07:22.480 --> 01:07:22.960
Oh, yeah.
01:07:23.039 --> 01:07:26.559
You can find me on LinkedIn um at Emmy Kirshner.
01:07:26.960 --> 01:07:31.679
Um, do you want me to spell names and you know put links in the bottom?
01:07:32.159 --> 01:07:33.199
Oh, this will be at the bottom.
01:07:33.280 --> 01:07:33.440
Okay.
01:07:34.639 --> 01:07:39.920
So find me on LinkedIn or you can um go to my website at Sarah Lunaconsulting.com.
01:07:40.880 --> 01:07:41.280
Got it.
01:07:41.840 --> 01:07:43.199
I'm not a social girl.
01:07:43.519 --> 01:07:44.719
You said, oh, yeah.
01:07:45.440 --> 01:07:47.840
I'm on there, but I'm not on there.
01:07:48.800 --> 01:07:49.920
Social media.
01:07:50.960 --> 01:07:57.599
I delete my Instagram um app off my phone every week.
01:07:58.159 --> 01:07:58.960
Oh no.
01:07:59.199 --> 01:08:02.960
I know it's great because I've like what I use it for two days and I'm like, this is terrible.
01:08:03.119 --> 01:08:03.679
And then I delete it.
01:08:04.639 --> 01:08:05.760
Oh no, it's totally for me.
01:08:05.840 --> 01:08:14.880
I've curated it carefully for all sorts of fun things, but uh I just don't I don't want to spend the time there.
01:08:15.440 --> 01:08:16.720
And there's nothing wrong with that.
01:08:16.880 --> 01:08:28.319
Yeah, in the I don't know why I call it doom scroll uh doom scrolling, but uh yeah, for me it's creative and um but I can still be like looking for the thing.
01:08:28.880 --> 01:08:29.279
Yeah.
01:08:29.439 --> 01:08:29.840
Yeah.
01:08:30.159 --> 01:08:30.479
Yeah.
01:08:31.840 --> 01:08:39.199
So this is where I open the floor for you to ask me a question, make a statement, give advice.
01:08:39.520 --> 01:08:43.920
Um, and with your expertise, I'm really not sure what's gonna happen.
01:08:44.479 --> 01:08:45.439
But I'm here for it.
01:08:45.840 --> 01:08:46.640
Love that.
01:08:47.520 --> 01:08:51.840
Um, first of all, thank you because I've had the best time.
01:08:52.159 --> 01:08:56.319
And I feel like we had a really cool, fun, easy, flowing conversation.
01:08:56.479 --> 01:08:59.279
So could hang out with you for hours.
01:08:59.680 --> 01:09:01.920
Yes, yes, ain't that right, Dime?
01:09:02.239 --> 01:09:03.439
Dime's over there.
01:09:03.680 --> 01:09:04.560
I can see her.
01:09:05.359 --> 01:09:05.920
Yes, yeah.
01:09:06.159 --> 01:09:08.960
Thank you for for showing up and surprising me.
01:09:09.039 --> 01:09:12.159
Like I'm just like deeply grateful.
01:09:12.560 --> 01:09:14.479
Yeah, because I didn't tell her you were coming.
01:09:14.800 --> 01:09:16.479
No, no, that's amazing.
01:09:16.800 --> 01:09:18.960
So we got a surprise, guess that's all.
01:09:19.199 --> 01:09:19.520
Yeah.
01:09:19.760 --> 01:09:22.800
Well, and when you first said that, I was like, all right, whatever.
01:09:25.199 --> 01:09:26.319
Okay, great.
01:09:27.359 --> 01:09:31.199
Um, I don't really have any advice for you.
01:09:31.600 --> 01:09:38.159
Like you seem really grounded, and what you're creating is fantastic.
01:09:38.720 --> 01:09:42.399
I love your OCD, like that aligns with my OCD.
01:09:42.880 --> 01:09:52.399
So yeah, like just keep doing the not even keep doing, keep making the magic that you're making.
01:09:52.720 --> 01:09:53.279
Thank you.
01:09:53.359 --> 01:09:55.279
And and I definitely will.
01:09:55.439 --> 01:10:00.720
There are days where I'm just like, I'm not calling anybody, I'm not reaching out to anybody.
01:10:00.880 --> 01:10:01.439
Oh, 100%.
01:10:01.920 --> 01:10:02.960
I'm like, I'm just done.
01:10:03.039 --> 01:10:06.560
And then I realize I'm like, I do not have a guest for next week.
01:10:06.880 --> 01:10:10.720
And then I have to, I don't care.
01:10:10.800 --> 01:10:11.920
It's just not gonna happen.
01:10:12.079 --> 01:10:16.720
And the next thing I know, somebody contacts me and they're like, hey, you know.
01:10:17.119 --> 01:10:22.960
Here's and I'm still like mastering the embodiment of this.
01:10:24.079 --> 01:10:31.680
Here's the thing that I think we all would benefit from our capacity is not the same every day.
01:10:32.079 --> 01:10:41.359
And to think that it is is crazy because there's so many factors in what our energy level is and what we're we're able to do.
01:10:42.079 --> 01:10:49.920
And there's gonna be days where we knock it out of the park or we feel like we can take on the world, and there's days where we can't.
01:10:50.079 --> 01:10:58.880
And I think honoring that, and I'm working on on, I mean, structurally, I've created it, but again, embodying an operating rhythm.
01:10:59.119 --> 01:11:15.840
So my expectation from myself in any given day um isn't the same, particularly on days when I have five or seven Zoom calls and I'm supporting my clients and like it's an enormous amount of energy out.
01:11:16.319 --> 01:11:24.319
So I've stopped expecting myself to do seven million other things that are require a lot of thinking on those days.
01:11:24.880 --> 01:11:25.359
That makes sense.
01:11:25.680 --> 01:11:31.520
My operating rhythm right now is Monday is uh no meetings day, so it's an in day.
01:11:31.680 --> 01:11:36.960
Tuesday is meetings day, which is an out day, so I'm more engaging.
01:11:37.119 --> 01:11:39.920
It's also when I schedule in-person meetings now.
01:11:40.560 --> 01:11:48.079
Wednesday is in day, and then Thursday and Friday are out day, but Friday's a short day most of the time.
01:11:48.399 --> 01:11:51.520
I'm about to start taking half days on Fridays, too.
01:11:52.399 --> 01:11:52.800
Yeah.
01:11:53.039 --> 01:11:54.239
I'm gonna see how well that works.
01:11:54.319 --> 01:11:56.319
I'm I'm saying it, but we're gonna see how how it works.
01:11:56.560 --> 01:11:57.920
Well, even like three.
01:11:58.640 --> 01:12:01.600
Like and not that it happens all the time.
01:12:01.680 --> 01:12:11.039
I'm still working kinks and bandwidth and everything out, but I'm not ending my week feeling exhausted and like I just need to lay on the couch.
01:12:11.840 --> 01:12:12.479
Yeah.
01:12:12.880 --> 01:12:13.279
Right.
01:12:13.439 --> 01:12:28.239
Like that's my goal is like how do I create momentum and consistent energy um every day so that I can show up fully, even though how that fully is looks different from day to day.
01:12:28.720 --> 01:12:29.359
Yeah.
01:12:29.840 --> 01:12:30.319
Yeah.
01:12:30.640 --> 01:12:36.239
I know Sunday through Wednesday I'm at my day job.
01:12:36.399 --> 01:12:43.840
So by the time I get home, it's like you're not getting much from me because I'm gonna be with the wife and the kids.
01:12:44.079 --> 01:12:55.920
Now, if I have no other choice but to get something done, then yes, but Thursday, Friday, Saturday, it depends on the workload of how that day and that weekend go.
01:12:56.159 --> 01:12:57.600
So yeah.
01:12:57.840 --> 01:12:58.159
Yeah.
01:12:58.319 --> 01:13:01.520
And I'm not suggesting anybody should follow my operating rhythm.
01:13:02.319 --> 01:13:03.039
Just think about it.
01:13:03.119 --> 01:13:03.520
Or mine.
01:13:03.600 --> 01:13:04.239
Don't mm-mm.
01:13:04.720 --> 01:13:11.520
But just think about like what actually serves you, what's gonna fill you up and give you space.
01:13:11.760 --> 01:13:18.159
Because this whole we've got to work 12 hours to be successful bullshit is exactly yeah, out the window.
01:13:18.640 --> 01:13:20.720
I don't because it's a lot.
01:13:21.600 --> 01:13:33.920
And well, and there may be periods, short periods where like that, because you've got some deadline or you're launching something where that is a norm, but that's not a way of life.
01:13:35.039 --> 01:13:47.039
Like you sacrifice other things, and we're meant to have full, incredible lives that are more than just work or what you're creating.
01:13:47.359 --> 01:13:47.680
Yeah.
01:13:47.840 --> 01:13:50.479
Sometimes you have to sit it down.
01:13:50.880 --> 01:13:52.159
Yeah, resting is good.
01:13:52.319 --> 01:13:56.880
We're supposed to people used to do that in the 150 years ago.
01:13:57.119 --> 01:13:58.960
Yeah, they didn't work like this.
01:13:59.439 --> 01:14:07.199
No, now we're working all the time, and I'm one of those people that's trying to get out of that.
01:14:07.359 --> 01:14:21.760
You know, I want to be able to have a set schedule, you know, and not necessarily Monday through Friday or, you know, including the weekends, but to be able to say, This is my off day, no matter what happens, I'm off.
01:14:23.039 --> 01:14:25.520
So take that part from me.
01:14:25.680 --> 01:14:26.800
Take that part, you know.
01:14:26.960 --> 01:14:28.159
Yeah, find a day.
01:14:28.479 --> 01:14:32.560
Your best ideas come from when you have space to think.
01:14:33.840 --> 01:14:34.880
It's like those long drives.
01:14:35.039 --> 01:14:36.399
I get great ideas then.
01:14:36.800 --> 01:14:37.279
Yes.
01:14:37.600 --> 01:14:40.880
And now I dictate to Claude or chat whoever I liked best that week.
01:14:41.119 --> 01:14:43.760
So they capture all of that for me.
01:14:45.119 --> 01:14:47.279
So haven't gotten on Claude yet.
01:14:47.359 --> 01:14:48.720
Are you using Claude yet?
01:14:49.119 --> 01:14:50.479
No, not okay.
01:14:50.640 --> 01:14:52.000
I mean, so it's not just me.
01:14:52.479 --> 01:14:52.720
Okay.
01:14:53.039 --> 01:14:53.359
Not yet.
01:14:53.600 --> 01:14:54.239
Soon come.
01:14:54.640 --> 01:14:55.039
Soon.
01:14:55.359 --> 01:14:56.079
Soon come.
01:14:56.399 --> 01:14:56.720
Yeah.
01:14:57.279 --> 01:14:57.680
Yeah.
01:14:58.399 --> 01:15:01.520
So um I told you I have a surprise question.
01:15:01.920 --> 01:15:04.800
The question I don't ask people or tell people.
01:15:05.039 --> 01:15:14.960
So over time, um, Creative Roots has been uh moving more into mental health.
01:15:15.119 --> 01:15:26.239
A lot of our guests have basically said that things out um come from childhood trauma, adult trauma, um, life, you know, the things that we deal with.
01:15:26.479 --> 01:15:30.399
Um we find our happy place as a creative.
01:15:30.960 --> 01:15:35.600
And a lot of times we don't have someone that checks on us.
01:15:36.000 --> 01:15:38.239
Because again, our minds are always racing.
01:15:38.399 --> 01:15:42.079
Business owners, you you have to create something as well.
01:15:42.399 --> 01:15:47.359
So, my question and final question of the day how's your mental health?
01:15:47.920 --> 01:15:49.039
How's my mental health?
01:15:49.199 --> 01:15:58.079
I think it's good most of the time, and not that I don't have periods of feeling low, like I'm not like that happens.
01:15:58.560 --> 01:16:04.479
Um I think generally I'm a positive person.
01:16:05.439 --> 01:16:15.199
Um the way I process the learning experiences allows me to look for the good and the and like how can I make myself better?
01:16:15.840 --> 01:16:23.039
Um, and I have a girlfriend up in Philly that I talk to every day.
01:16:23.279 --> 01:16:24.880
And I can be very real with.
01:16:24.960 --> 01:16:31.920
So I think like having a couple of people who you can be, you know what, today it's just shit.
01:16:32.640 --> 01:16:39.359
Like I'm crawling back in the bed, I'm I'm all done with today, like I don't care that it's 6 p.m.
01:16:40.239 --> 01:16:53.119
Um that like know you well enough to hear you and say, yes, like that's go do that, or all right, Emmy, it's time to get your ass up.
01:16:53.520 --> 01:16:54.640
Go make the magic.
01:16:54.800 --> 01:16:56.800
Like, I think that's really important.
01:16:57.119 --> 01:17:12.000
But um, I've done and continue to do like counseling therapy, but also a lot of the mindset, and for me, the mindset, belief system, identity work is what is most transformational.
01:17:12.479 --> 01:17:19.439
Like, I don't need to talk about all the stuff that has happened or not happened, and it doesn't serve me as much.
01:17:20.479 --> 01:17:24.960
Um, but I also like I believe in having support.
01:17:25.199 --> 01:17:25.600
Yes.
01:17:25.760 --> 01:17:26.000
Right?
01:17:26.159 --> 01:17:28.560
Continuous support, continuous learning.
01:17:28.800 --> 01:17:30.560
Those one or two friends.
01:17:30.800 --> 01:17:35.199
Sometimes I just tell her my to-do list legit.
01:17:38.319 --> 01:17:38.880
Yes.
01:17:39.520 --> 01:17:43.279
And I'm with the I like the honesty.
01:17:43.359 --> 01:17:44.800
Let me let me say that first.
01:17:44.880 --> 01:17:46.079
I appreciate the honesty.
01:17:46.159 --> 01:17:46.479
Yeah.
01:17:46.720 --> 01:17:50.159
Because I know sometimes we we just say, I'm okay.
01:17:50.479 --> 01:17:54.239
And not realizing that we're literally just okay.
01:17:55.039 --> 01:18:06.000
Um sometimes it's oh, it's great, you know, and not saying that it it's not great for those people, but sometimes we just don't dive into it.
01:18:06.159 --> 01:18:09.359
We don't get asked, how are you doing?
01:18:09.600 --> 01:18:11.039
How do you feel?
01:18:11.359 --> 01:18:26.560
And I know with some of the conversations that we I've had here, um, when these cameras get turned off, these microphones are no longer recording, some guests are still here, and it becomes this therapy session, you know.
01:18:26.880 --> 01:18:36.479
So I have to ask, and you know, that this has been told, I've been told that this has been like a safe space.
01:18:36.640 --> 01:18:36.960
Yeah.
01:18:37.199 --> 01:18:39.840
So I want to make sure that it's safe for all.
01:18:40.239 --> 01:18:41.760
I really appreciate that.
01:18:42.479 --> 01:18:42.880
Thank you.
01:18:43.760 --> 01:18:44.239
Yeah.
01:18:44.560 --> 01:18:46.800
Because it's it's okay to not be okay.
01:18:47.199 --> 01:18:47.600
Yes.
01:18:48.000 --> 01:18:48.319
Right.
01:18:48.399 --> 01:18:58.720
Like, I mean, flip side, like positivity will help you get out of the lows, and acknowledging that you're low is really important.
01:19:00.159 --> 01:19:04.800
And um and I think undervalued.
01:19:05.039 --> 01:19:06.880
Like, oh, I should just carry on.
01:19:07.199 --> 01:19:08.800
Oh, I should just go do now.
01:19:08.960 --> 01:19:11.359
Like, acknowledge that you feel low.
01:19:12.000 --> 01:19:20.159
And when I do that with my girlfriend, at least, like there's relief for me that somebody else knows.
01:19:20.399 --> 01:19:22.000
She doesn't have to do anything.
01:19:22.239 --> 01:19:25.760
Like, I don't there's nothing for her to do, just hear me.
01:19:26.479 --> 01:19:29.119
And um, and I do the same thing for her.
01:19:29.359 --> 01:19:33.359
Um we also call each other out on our on our bullshit.
01:19:33.520 --> 01:19:33.840
Yeah.
01:19:34.239 --> 01:19:44.079
Um, but to pretend that everything has to be okay just means you're sweeping it under the rug and you're not dealing with it for me.
01:19:45.119 --> 01:19:46.159
So yeah.
01:19:46.479 --> 01:19:47.920
And it's gonna come back later.
01:19:48.239 --> 01:19:50.239
Yeah, because eventually that rug had to move.
01:19:50.640 --> 01:19:51.680
We're all onions.
01:19:53.279 --> 01:19:57.119
Weird, unusual, quirky onions.
01:19:58.239 --> 01:19:58.880
Yeah.
01:19:59.119 --> 01:20:03.840
And it's fun to see how we're all alike and different.
01:20:05.039 --> 01:20:05.600
Yeah.
01:20:05.920 --> 01:20:07.680
You have any closing remarks?
01:20:07.920 --> 01:20:11.600
No, I was just gonna say either you're gonna deal with it or it's gonna deal with you.
01:20:11.840 --> 01:20:12.159
100%.
01:20:12.640 --> 01:20:13.279
Yeah, yeah.
01:20:13.439 --> 01:20:13.760
Yeah.
01:20:14.880 --> 01:20:15.760
Choices.
01:20:16.800 --> 01:20:17.520
Choices.
01:20:17.680 --> 01:20:18.239
Yeah.
01:20:18.479 --> 01:20:24.319
So listen, y'all, this has been another great episode of Creative Roots Podcast.
01:20:24.560 --> 01:20:27.119
Um, I forgot to do it at the beginning.
01:20:27.359 --> 01:20:34.159
So as we close, shout out to Allen Look Studios, Charlotte Podcast Studio, and ArtBot Charlotte.
01:20:34.239 --> 01:20:35.840
I would like to thank us.
01:20:36.239 --> 01:20:41.520
Emmy, I greatly appreciate you for being here and having this conversation.
01:20:41.840 --> 01:20:46.239
Da, our surprise guest and co-host for the day.
01:20:46.479 --> 01:20:49.840
Greatly, yes, me, you were here for the day.
01:20:50.079 --> 01:20:50.960
Co-hosting.
01:20:51.279 --> 01:20:52.319
Oh, I appreciate that.
01:20:52.479 --> 01:20:55.119
Thank you for letting me sit here and talk to y'all.
01:20:55.279 --> 01:20:55.760
I love you.
01:20:57.199 --> 01:20:59.359
So, yeah, y'all, that is it.
01:20:59.439 --> 01:21:03.279
Um, don't forget we're going live December 12th, uh, 2 p.m.
01:21:03.520 --> 01:21:04.239
to 5 p.m.
01:21:04.640 --> 01:21:06.479
I'm working on those sweatshirts.
01:21:06.720 --> 01:21:10.239
VIP tickets will be listed on the website soon.
01:21:10.399 --> 01:21:11.920
And that's it for this episode.
01:21:12.079 --> 01:21:13.119
Catch y'all in the next one.
01:21:13.279 --> 01:21:14.079
Peace.