Vir Das

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Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
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I know what you mean, Coo Cullum.
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Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
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Eating tonnes of fresh grass.
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What?
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Not you, we're cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
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milk is so good. It's famous all over the world.
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Legendary.
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Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
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help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
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for the National Dairy Council guarantee.
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Due to the leaves falling in autumn and the challenges
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this brings, Eireann Road Airan wishes to advise customers that
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a revised timetable will take effect on Dart and Dublin
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commuter routes from Monday, September 21st until December 12th. Morning
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and evening peak services will be affected with some earlier
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departure times. Please check travel times on the Eireann Road
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Airan app or irishrail.ie. Eireann Road Airan is part of
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the Transport for Ireland network.
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Hello, my name is Veer Das. And I feel unique
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about being Conan O'Brien's friend because I'm pretty sure I'm
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the shortest friend he has globally. I can tell.
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That we are gonna be friends Hey there, welcome to
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Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend We have a terrific program
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for you I'm gonna say today What? Let me try
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it again Why are you trying it again? We're fine No,
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I don't like it What was wrong with it? It
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just didn't feel like me, let's try it again Hey there,
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Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend Coming at ya Coming at you.
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Fast and Furious. What do you think of that one?
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I don't think it's coming at people at all in
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any way. You know what? You're right. I've never come
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at anyone. No, you haven't. That's why it's great. And
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you said coming at you.
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Yeah.
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And it's just weird. Yeah.
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Look.
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If you're listening to this, you know you're listening to
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Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Well, yeah, they clicked on it.
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Exactly.
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So those are just my old broadcaster habits kicking in.
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Right.
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Greet the audience. But it's stupid. There's no audience. Yeah,
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it needs to go. Well, there is an audience. Massive,
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massive audience. Oh, I thought you meant like in person.
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Right now, there's three.
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There's three of us.
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Yeah, there's three people here.
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Things are a little different today. First of all, I
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couldn't get through the opening.
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Yeah.
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It's completely falling apart. Second, Mr. Gourley is not joining
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us today. I know. Yeah, he's got other matters he
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needs to attend to, but that's maybe good news because
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it means we get to spend a little time with
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my assistant's assistant, David Hopping.
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Hi, David.
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Oh, hi.
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How are you?
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I'm good, how are you?
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Very good. You, of course, picking up the slack for Sona,
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who's now an author, podcaster, mother of two twins. And
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so there's some things she can't get to and you
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dash into the breach and take care of it.
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I think we're a good team.
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Yeah.
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She had to help drive a prescription to you when
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I was out of town.
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I did a thing. I did something. You did. You
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got me a prescription.
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Yeah.
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And now everyone knows I'm addicted to drugs. Thanks a lot, David.
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Everybody assumed it.
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Also, you made me sound a lot busier than I am.
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It's not that I'm so busy. It's just that I
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kind of don't want to do it anymore.
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Yeah.
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And I think that David is just really, he's still
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got that youthful vigor in him.
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Yeah.
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But you still insist on the same amount of money,
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if not more. The exact same, yeah. And I'd like
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a raise. Well, David, you're a very young fellow. Thank you.
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You know, Sona's getting on in years. Wow.
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Oh, no.
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No, no, no.
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I meant that in the nicest way. You did? Yeah,
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you're aging rapidly. No, you look amazing. But of course,
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I'm ancient. You are how old?
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30.
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Okay, you're a young man.
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Thank you.
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You're plugged into what's happening. And just before we started recording,
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you got some exciting news. That totally mystified everyone in
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the room. What is it?
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Everyone?
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No, I was just looking. You were like, what are
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you looking at on your phone?
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And I said, Jamie Lynn Spears just announced a Zoey
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101 reboot.
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Okay. What's a Jamie Lynn Spears?
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Britney Spears' sister.
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Okay. And what, a reboot of what?
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It's the Nickelodeon show she was on, Zoey 101.
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I've never heard of it before.
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Ah, okay.
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You really missed out.
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Did I?
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But you had a younger daughter. She was not into
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this kind of stuff? She didn't watch Zoey 101.
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Okay. Zoey 101?
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Yeah.
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No, she never watched Zoey 101.
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It's about these kids who went to a school.
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Uh-huh.
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Mm-hmm.
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No, I don't think my daughter ever watched Zoey 101. Okay.
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My daughter was a big Hannah Montana fan.
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Mm-hmm.
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My daughter's now 19. And I remember when we told
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her we were moving out to Los Angeles, lived in
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New York and we're doing the late night show and
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we were going to move to LA. She burst out crying.
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She's like, I don't want to go. I don't want
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to go. I want to stay here in New York.
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And we were like, well, we kind of have to go.
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And then thinking on my feet, I said, guess who
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lives in LA? Hannah Montana. And my daughter said, hmm. Okay.
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And I did lie. I did make it seem like
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we were going to see Hannah Montana all the time.
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Did you ever?
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Did she ever hear?
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I did actually go to a store. I was in
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the store and someone approached me. This is after I'd
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been in LA for about nine months or a year.
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And- Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus comes up to me and
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she says, oh, hi. You know, I follow you on Twitter.
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And I said, oh, hi. And then I thanked her.
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I said, you're the reason we were able to get
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our daughter- to Los Angeles and I told her the
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story and she said, well, I'm glad I could do
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you that solid. Cause it was her and her alone. Yeah.
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Not you or your career or- Didn't give a shit
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about any of that. Just wanted, yeah. But so she
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knew about Hannah Montana. Zoey 101, now they're gonna reboot it.
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I guess so. Now, Jamie Lynn Spears, I'm guessing now
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she's about 55. She can't be in the Zoey 101
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reboot unless she plays an old Korean war vet. How
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is that gonna work?
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I don't know. That's all I know. She posted Paramount Plus,
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I guess.
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But you don't know new things. We know, we have
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already established this. Like, do you know the name of
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Taylor Swift's new album?
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I do.
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I do. Okay. What is it? Red.
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No, that was like four or five albums ago.
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That was four or five albums ago. Show me what
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you got.
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No, that's never been one. What? I think if you
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keep trying, you're gonna get there.
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Moonglow.
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We're getting closer.
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Making it with what you got. Station 54. Somebody give
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him a hint. Hold it, I think I got it. Moondragon,
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the next chapter. The next chapter.
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The next chapter.
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So there was already, she released an album called Moondragon,
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and this is the next chapter of Moondragon.
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This is the next chapter. And I know this, I
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know Taylor is recutting all of her music. Yeah. So
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this is all, this is the stuff that you saw
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on Babylon 7000. This is all been redone for Moondragon,
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the next chapter. Plus three new tracks, Gotta Be Here,
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Go in the Distance, and Shaznat, The Gabagool Story. So, don't,
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Get in my grill about not knowing about Taylor. You
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know so much.
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About Taylor Swift. We were a Swifty.
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Yeah. I think that your era is the 90s, is
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that right?
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Yeah, I was born in 92.
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Okay.
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And so I know you're obsessed with pop culture from
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the 90s and 2000s, is that right?
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Yeah, sure I am.
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So I must have been a huge impact on you.
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Oh, yeah.
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Three, four, five, six.
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Well, I was one when you started your show.
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Uh-huh, yeah. I know, but a lot of one-year-olds were
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tuning in to see what was- And they would just
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sit me in front of the TV. When you got
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a job with me, you didn't care about me at all.
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I cared about you.
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No, you didn't. The way you said that, if you
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would have had a chance- I cared a lot. Your
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voice got high. If you would have had a chance-
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I cared about you. If I cared about you. Hey,
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if it had been a choice between interning for me
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or for Britney Spears- Britney Spears. You would have. I
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know you would have. I know you would have.
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Yeah.
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That's okay.
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Yeah.
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I know it's not okay.
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It's important that we're honest.
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It's not okay, but you totally would have sold me
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out to go work for Britney Spears.
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Yeah.
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Do you have a contact now?
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Can you get him a job?
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Can you get me a job? Is she looking for
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an assistant? I don't know. But no, yeah, I would
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have gone to Britney over it.
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Yeah, I know. You said that. You don't have to
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hit that again. Just to reiterate, Britney Spears over Conan O'Brien.
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Yeah.
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Right?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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If you had the choice.
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Oh, yeah.
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Yeah. And what's your favorite Britney Spears song? You tell
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me and I'll tell you.
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Probably Lucky.
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Yeah, that's a great one.
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How's it go?
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Yeah.
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What a lucky, don't you wish that you knew. I'm
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gonna come back, cause I like this beef to chew.
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I saw you, and you saw me. Together we're gonna
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raise some bumblebees and make honey. You didn't even say lucky.
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I want to die right now. If I could take
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my own life, all I have is this pen that
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won't do the trick. I would do it right now.
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I'm excited about our show because first of all, I
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just named a bunch of songs and albums that Taylor
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Swift should make.
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The Gaba Ghul story is the one I'm really excited about.
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I know that she'd have a great whole, Seven great
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songs about cured Italian meat. But we can't keep messing around.
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We've got a real show to get to. Very excited
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about our guest. He's an actor and comedian whose fourth
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Netflix special, Verdas Landing, is out now. Very excited he's
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here today. Verdas, welcome. How tall are you?
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I'm five foot eight. Not bad. That's not bad.
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No, that's a decent height.
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Is Tom Cruise your shortest domestic friend?
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Well, we're not really friends. I say we are. Then
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his lawyer contacts me and says, stop saying that. No,
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I don't know. How tall is Tom Cruise? He's like 5'6.
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But I think he does wear boots. 5'7. 5'7 is
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what they list them online. I think he's got little lifts.
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00:11:09.590 --> 00:11:09.870
Yeah.
254
00:11:10.250 --> 00:11:12.120
Do you think he would jump out of planes if
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00:11:12.129 --> 00:11:13.240
he was three inches taller?
256
00:11:13.500 --> 00:11:14.840
I don't think so. I think you bring up a
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00:11:14.860 --> 00:11:17.100
really good point. I think when you're lower to the ground,
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00:11:19.370 --> 00:11:23.049
you have less fear of gravity. That just makes sense.
259
00:11:23.690 --> 00:11:27.539
I am a very personally brave man. You know that, Sona.
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00:11:27.860 --> 00:11:28.120
No.
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00:11:28.379 --> 00:11:33.009
Okay. But because I'm 6'4, and so far from the ground,
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00:11:33.429 --> 00:11:36.990
I'm terrified of doing my own stunts. That's why. That's why.
263
00:11:37.029 --> 00:11:41.120
It has nothing to do with coordination or your athletic ability.
264
00:11:41.399 --> 00:11:42.360
It's because you're tall.
265
00:11:42.419 --> 00:11:45.639
Those are factors. Those are factors.
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00:11:48.360 --> 00:11:50.370
I would like to see you go out and hunt
267
00:11:50.409 --> 00:11:54.070
for a stunt double. That would be a great episode
268
00:11:54.090 --> 00:11:54.549
of something.
269
00:11:54.649 --> 00:11:55.710
Yeah, I should.
270
00:11:55.750 --> 00:11:56.009
I should.
271
00:11:56.269 --> 00:11:59.590
Someone who is my height and has my weird characteristics.
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00:11:59.649 --> 00:11:59.889
Yes.
273
00:12:00.350 --> 00:12:04.259
And my strange torso to leg ratio, which is way
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out of balance.
275
00:12:04.879 --> 00:12:05.139
Yes.
276
00:12:05.580 --> 00:12:07.620
Let's do that. Let's find me a good stunt double.
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Okay.
278
00:12:08.200 --> 00:12:10.940
Are you going to go the opposite way and get
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00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:18.250
someone who's like super jacked and be like- It's.
280
00:12:18.190 --> 00:12:20.889
Up there comedically with when they cut to a dummy
281
00:12:20.990 --> 00:12:24.629
and they've made no attempt to have it match. So
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00:12:24.690 --> 00:12:28.350
someone's running to the window and then a differently dressed
283
00:12:28.450 --> 00:12:32.220
dummy is thrown out the window and there's no articulation
284
00:12:32.250 --> 00:12:35.399
of the limbs. So arms are bent. It's just a
285
00:12:35.539 --> 00:12:38.419
flailing sock-filled dummy falling. That always makes me laugh.
286
00:12:39.779 --> 00:12:41.419
I know, I won't take his name, but I know
287
00:12:41.480 --> 00:12:44.379
like a Bollywood star who signed a big movie that
288
00:12:44.399 --> 00:12:46.639
was set in the ocean, right?
289
00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:46.980
And he.
290
00:12:47.909 --> 00:12:50.070
I don't think he read the script. Like legend is
291
00:12:50.090 --> 00:12:52.009
he didn't read the script and he signed this big
292
00:12:52.070 --> 00:12:56.509
movie and showed up to like workshops before the movie.
293
00:12:56.889 --> 00:12:59.850
And workshops were like in a sports complex with a pool.
294
00:13:00.269 --> 00:13:02.029
And there was just diving people there. And he's like,
295
00:13:02.509 --> 00:13:06.889
what the hell is this? We're going to give you
296
00:13:07.309 --> 00:13:09.860
diving workshops. And he's like, I'm afraid of water. I'm
297
00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:10.700
not going in the water.
298
00:13:11.580 --> 00:13:13.340
And then he looked for the first time at the
299
00:13:13.379 --> 00:13:16.149
title of the movie and it was Waterworld.
300
00:13:16.230 --> 00:13:18.009
And they're like, so 80% of the movie is set
301
00:13:18.029 --> 00:13:22.870
in the water. And so he's like, I will only
302
00:13:22.929 --> 00:13:25.370
go into waist deep water. And then they pick the
303
00:13:25.409 --> 00:13:29.070
skinniest stunt double in the world. So in this movie,
304
00:13:29.590 --> 00:13:31.990
every time he's underwater, he's skinny and he has a
305
00:13:32.009 --> 00:13:34.820
six pack. And then he comes up just fat as fuck.
306
00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:41.840
Very nice of you not to name names, but I
307
00:13:41.860 --> 00:13:44.740
really want to see this now. I had, we were
308
00:13:44.759 --> 00:13:48.279
talking just before the show, but I had a project once.
309
00:13:48.919 --> 00:13:52.110
It was for American Express and It was a really
310
00:13:52.149 --> 00:13:55.710
great idea. I really loved it. And it was in Jaipur.
311
00:13:56.549 --> 00:13:59.610
And I remember just before I went, when you travel,
312
00:13:59.629 --> 00:14:02.080
you get to different shots. And so I went to
313
00:14:02.120 --> 00:14:04.039
this specialist who tells you, here's all the things you
314
00:14:04.080 --> 00:14:07.360
have to do. He asks you, where in the world
315
00:14:07.399 --> 00:14:09.840
are you going? When you tell him, he says, okay,
316
00:14:09.860 --> 00:14:11.559
these are the things. I'm going to give you the
317
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:15.679
following shots. And then he said, okay, where you're going,
318
00:14:17.100 --> 00:14:19.019
I have one rule for you, which was stay out
319
00:14:19.100 --> 00:14:20.000
of water.
320
00:14:20.509 --> 00:14:20.690
Okay.
321
00:14:20.710 --> 00:14:23.409
Don't go in water. And I said, you know, why?
322
00:14:23.490 --> 00:14:27.529
And he went on to describe, he said, well, there's
323
00:14:27.629 --> 00:14:33.080
a parasite and it can swim up your penis into
324
00:14:33.100 --> 00:14:35.080
your body and then it will nest there and it
325
00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:38.559
will slowly feed on you and you'll die slowly over years.
326
00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:42.399
So stay out of water. And I said, oh, okay, definitely. Well,
327
00:14:42.419 --> 00:14:43.980
this is a problem. And he said, why? And I said,
328
00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:46.220
because there's a part in the commercial that's a main
329
00:14:46.259 --> 00:14:49.620
part of the commercial where I'm waist deep in water.
330
00:14:50.669 --> 00:14:54.409
And it's kind of important to the commercial. I'm there
331
00:14:54.450 --> 00:15:01.279
helping these other women wash these garments and that's important.
332
00:15:01.720 --> 00:15:03.279
And I'm supposed to be in water. And he went, huh,
333
00:15:03.860 --> 00:15:06.220
who's the commercial for? And I said, American Express. And
334
00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:13.929
he said, Eh, you do what you gotta do. So
335
00:15:13.990 --> 00:15:14.610
I did, it was fine.
336
00:15:14.629 --> 00:15:16.070
You did it. Yeah, it was fine.
337
00:15:16.330 --> 00:15:18.570
Did you get a parasite? You know what, I did,
338
00:15:18.629 --> 00:15:22.539
but it only enhanced everything. What? Yeah, my penis is
339
00:15:22.620 --> 00:15:26.200
much larger now. Yeah, I've had no complaints.
340
00:15:27.259 --> 00:15:31.139
That's a tagline you never see. American Express, you're impotent,
341
00:15:31.179 --> 00:15:32.039
but no credit limit.
342
00:15:35.830 --> 00:15:38.710
Yeah, well, I mean, you have, I mean, so much
343
00:15:38.730 --> 00:15:42.549
to talk about because you had such a fascinating upbringing
344
00:15:42.990 --> 00:15:47.750
and you grow up in India, but then you moved
345
00:15:47.870 --> 00:15:50.330
to Nigeria at a pretty young age.
346
00:15:50.509 --> 00:15:54.480
Yeah, my parents can smell happiness. And the minute I
347
00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:57.500
find it, they move me somewhere else.
348
00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:00.700
You know what they were doing? They were like, we
349
00:16:00.740 --> 00:16:04.639
want him to be really funny. So he seems happy
350
00:16:04.679 --> 00:16:07.970
right now. Move him and stress him.
351
00:16:08.450 --> 00:16:14.210
So privileged household in India and then get moved to Lagos, Nigeria,
352
00:16:14.370 --> 00:16:16.129
where I get my ass whooped every week because I'm
353
00:16:16.149 --> 00:16:20.960
the kid from India. And I do public school in Lagos, Nigeria.
354
00:16:20.980 --> 00:16:23.700
And just as that's going really, really well, I'm like
355
00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:27.320
nine years old. Private boarding school in India, where I
356
00:16:27.320 --> 00:16:29.649
get my ass whooped because I'm the kid from Africa.
357
00:16:29.669 --> 00:16:31.769
Oh my God.
358
00:16:31.950 --> 00:16:36.350
Then finally find a girlfriend, I think, in private school
359
00:16:36.409 --> 00:16:39.110
in India. Get taken to public school in New Delhi,
360
00:16:39.429 --> 00:16:41.049
which is where you get your ass whooped because you're
361
00:16:41.070 --> 00:16:41.929
the kid from private school.
362
00:16:42.049 --> 00:16:42.389
Wow.
363
00:16:43.330 --> 00:16:47.570
Then American University, where you're the kid from India, go
364
00:16:47.610 --> 00:16:50.190
back to be in Bollywood, where you're the kid from
365
00:16:50.250 --> 00:16:53.289
American drama school, and now in LA, where you're the
366
00:16:53.309 --> 00:16:54.090
guy from Bollywood.
367
00:16:55.730 --> 00:16:59.009
So, you know, I fit in. And I do apologize
368
00:16:59.049 --> 00:17:01.860
for attacking you earlier. When you walked in, I started
369
00:17:01.899 --> 00:17:04.559
hitting you. I just thought, yeah, because your parents called
370
00:17:04.579 --> 00:17:09.140
me and they said, he's happy again. It's time. So
371
00:17:09.500 --> 00:17:12.140
how miserable were you When you were sent off to
372
00:17:12.180 --> 00:17:16.839
private school, I went to public school. So I never
373
00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:21.150
had that experience of being sent away at a young age.
374
00:17:21.549 --> 00:17:25.089
And I know famously, I mean, there's people that write
375
00:17:25.130 --> 00:17:28.869
about it. It always sounds Dickensian to me, like a
376
00:17:28.950 --> 00:17:32.940
level of, you know, you're very young and you're sent
377
00:17:33.099 --> 00:17:38.059
off to another country often and that there's harsh treatment
378
00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:40.720
and And I think it just sounds like a nightmare
379
00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:41.240
for kids.
380
00:17:41.609 --> 00:17:44.049
It is. I was, my parents were in Africa and
381
00:17:44.069 --> 00:17:45.950
I was seven. So seven and a half when I
382
00:17:46.130 --> 00:17:47.309
went to boarding school in India.
383
00:17:47.329 --> 00:17:48.470
Oh my God.
384
00:17:48.609 --> 00:17:51.529
And you know, so I was also very dramatic. So
385
00:17:51.569 --> 00:17:55.259
I would write them letters in like red ink. and
386
00:17:55.279 --> 00:17:57.609
be like, this is in my blood, you've forgotten about me.
387
00:17:58.509 --> 00:18:00.289
You know?
388
00:18:00.470 --> 00:18:05.430
Oh, my God. And then... Wow.
389
00:18:05.470 --> 00:18:07.490
Then, you know, kids would try and run away from
390
00:18:07.539 --> 00:18:10.880
boarding school on a weekly basis. And because we're shitty friends...
391
00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:12.759
We'd like walk them to the gate of the school
392
00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:15.259
and like give them five bucks and be like, good luck, man. Like,
393
00:18:15.619 --> 00:18:17.819
I hope you make it. But like my parents were
394
00:18:17.839 --> 00:18:20.680
in Africa and I tried to run away from India
395
00:18:20.720 --> 00:18:22.920
to Africa like four times from boarding school.
396
00:18:23.079 --> 00:18:24.109
Technically hard to do.
397
00:18:24.220 --> 00:18:25.269
Very hard to do.
398
00:18:26.269 --> 00:18:26.589
Wow.
399
00:18:26.930 --> 00:18:29.549
So to take off, would you, how far would you get?
400
00:18:29.569 --> 00:18:36.109
Like three kilometers. Oh no. But, I feel like boarding
401
00:18:36.140 --> 00:18:39.470
school either graduates like generic boarding school people who you
402
00:18:39.509 --> 00:18:40.789
can recognize a mile away.
403
00:18:41.029 --> 00:18:41.250
Right.
404
00:18:41.450 --> 00:18:44.410
Or like complete misfits. And I'm the second.
405
00:18:44.829 --> 00:18:49.130
There was this, I was reading a biography of Churchill
406
00:18:49.170 --> 00:18:51.410
who always kind of fascinates me. And when he was
407
00:18:52.170 --> 00:18:58.720
very young, his parents, of course, were, you know, quasi-noble.
408
00:18:58.859 --> 00:19:01.680
And his father was a very important person.
409
00:19:01.779 --> 00:19:03.559
And they.
410
00:19:04.549 --> 00:19:08.380
he was sent away at an absurdly young age. And
411
00:19:08.619 --> 00:19:11.259
he always had minders. So he never really saw much
412
00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:15.819
of his parents. And his father is a famous politician.
413
00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:19.059
And one day, and he's very bitter about the fact
414
00:19:19.079 --> 00:19:23.019
that he's been sent away to this very tough English
415
00:19:23.099 --> 00:19:25.019
private school. And then he finds out one day that
416
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:29.359
his father's in that town giving a speech His town,
417
00:19:29.400 --> 00:19:31.380
his tiny little town where his school is and his
418
00:19:31.440 --> 00:19:34.279
dad didn't stop by and visit him. And I was
419
00:19:34.339 --> 00:19:37.440
reading the letter and it was like, dear father, I'm
420
00:19:37.539 --> 00:19:40.420
hard pressed to think of why you couldn't at least
421
00:19:40.769 --> 00:19:44.430
wave at my window. And of course the father was like,
422
00:19:45.230 --> 00:19:48.549
bugger off. I don't have time for this, but that's
423
00:19:48.569 --> 00:19:49.589
what it always sounds like to me.
424
00:19:49.930 --> 00:19:51.650
I'm prepping you to defeat Hitler.
425
00:19:51.730 --> 00:19:55.079
Yeah, exactly. Like that's what you need to defeat Hitler. Yes,
426
00:19:55.160 --> 00:19:57.619
we do need someone to stand up to Hitler about
427
00:19:57.619 --> 00:19:59.839
40 years from now and you're going to be the
428
00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:02.720
guy and the only way to get there is to
429
00:20:03.559 --> 00:20:06.920
totally treat you poorly right now. That's really sad.
430
00:20:08.140 --> 00:20:10.950
I kind of, pushed myself out of boarding school in
431
00:20:10.970 --> 00:20:15.730
a very disturbing way. So we were an ex-British military academy.
432
00:20:16.109 --> 00:20:18.329
It's like a 150-year-old school. And we had these things
433
00:20:18.390 --> 00:20:21.869
called headmaster's cards. And if you get three, you're kicked out.
434
00:20:22.490 --> 00:20:26.410
And I decided by age 12, like I'm done. And
435
00:20:27.410 --> 00:20:31.549
my friend had appendicitis and his appendix had ruptured. And
436
00:20:31.609 --> 00:20:33.829
so one day I just went into the nurse's office
437
00:20:33.869 --> 00:20:36.769
and I'm like, I have appendicitis. And she's like, okay,
438
00:20:36.789 --> 00:20:38.829
where does it hurt? And I said, here, where it
439
00:20:38.869 --> 00:20:41.210
hurt for my friend. Spent like two days in the
440
00:20:41.269 --> 00:20:45.039
hospital just eating ice cream. And then in the middle
441
00:20:45.059 --> 00:20:46.740
of the night, they were like, we're taking you to
442
00:20:46.759 --> 00:20:48.740
a different city you're going to get operated on.
443
00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:49.599
Oh, God.
444
00:20:49.980 --> 00:20:54.440
And I was like, okay. And then I'm in an ambulance.
445
00:20:54.660 --> 00:20:56.349
And then the next thing I know, I'm on an
446
00:20:56.470 --> 00:21:00.059
operation table, right? with two doctors who were like, you
447
00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:02.579
sure this shit hurts? And I'm like, yeah.
448
00:21:02.619 --> 00:21:03.500
You stuck to it?
449
00:21:04.599 --> 00:21:07.200
And then my parents were in Africa at this point, right?
450
00:21:07.380 --> 00:21:12.440
And so I wake up after anesthesia, like 18 hours later,
451
00:21:12.579 --> 00:21:15.359
my mother from Africa is sitting in the hospital in
452
00:21:15.380 --> 00:21:18.119
the north of India. And her and two doctors look
453
00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:22.200
very pissed off. They're just like, his appendix was fine.
454
00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:24.480
And then the boarding school was just like, I don't
455
00:21:24.519 --> 00:21:27.460
think he's happy here. Maybe you should pick him out.
456
00:21:27.480 --> 00:21:28.509
So they opened you up.
457
00:21:28.859 --> 00:21:30.440
Yeah, pretty much.
458
00:21:30.460 --> 00:21:32.529
You went under anesthesia and they opened you up.
459
00:21:32.609 --> 00:21:34.730
They still took out my appendix to be safe. Like
460
00:21:34.910 --> 00:21:37.630
just because, you know, that they were in there. If
461
00:21:37.650 --> 00:21:41.930
you're in there, you might as well. But yeah, that's.
462
00:21:42.309 --> 00:21:43.380
They also took out a lung.
463
00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:45.019
We're here.
464
00:21:46.059 --> 00:21:48.660
Lung looks fine, but who knows? Maybe one day we'll
465
00:21:48.759 --> 00:21:49.460
just take it.
466
00:21:50.140 --> 00:21:50.660
So, wow.
467
00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:52.220
So that got your parents' attention though.
468
00:21:52.279 --> 00:21:52.480
Yeah.
469
00:21:52.779 --> 00:21:55.410
And then I was sent off to public school where,
470
00:21:56.150 --> 00:21:58.329
you know, it was a better journey. Like I think
471
00:21:58.369 --> 00:21:59.509
I was more meant for public school.
472
00:21:59.670 --> 00:22:03.450
Okay. So when's the moment, this always fascinates me, when
473
00:22:03.470 --> 00:22:07.529
you figure out I'm funny, I have a superpower.
474
00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:13.559
I think comedians either come from the coolest kid in
475
00:22:13.599 --> 00:22:17.079
school or the most bullied kid in school. They're usually comics, right?
476
00:22:17.380 --> 00:22:17.579
Yeah.
477
00:22:17.660 --> 00:22:20.369
And the coolest kid's I'd venture to say have less
478
00:22:20.430 --> 00:22:23.210
longevity in comedy than the bullied kid. And I just
479
00:22:23.230 --> 00:22:26.309
remember being the kid who would get his ass beat
480
00:22:26.490 --> 00:22:27.700
because he couldn't shut up.
481
00:22:28.279 --> 00:22:28.640
And then.
482
00:22:29.759 --> 00:22:32.380
not being able to shut up during the beating. You
483
00:22:32.440 --> 00:22:34.630
know what I mean? Like where I'd be like, what
484
00:22:34.670 --> 00:22:36.769
is this really accomplishing? Does this make you feel better?
485
00:22:36.970 --> 00:22:39.029
And I wouldn't shut up. And then sometimes the guy
486
00:22:39.089 --> 00:22:41.430
beating you would crack a smile as well, you know,
487
00:22:41.450 --> 00:22:43.190
and you'd be like, yeah, I think this is funny.
488
00:22:44.690 --> 00:22:47.349
I think I have to admit you're pretty funny. Now,
489
00:22:47.529 --> 00:22:48.910
where was I in the beating?
490
00:22:49.440 --> 00:22:51.519
Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
491
00:22:51.539 --> 00:22:52.880
I know what you mean, Kukolam.
492
00:22:53.220 --> 00:22:56.299
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
493
00:22:56.460 --> 00:22:58.579
Eating tonnes of fresh grass.
494
00:22:58.740 --> 00:22:59.019
What?
495
00:22:59.180 --> 00:23:02.259
Not you or cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
496
00:23:02.299 --> 00:23:05.940
milk is so good. It's famous all over the world.
497
00:23:06.259 --> 00:23:07.880
Legendary.
498
00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:11.400
Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
499
00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:15.230
help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
500
00:23:15.250 --> 00:23:17.089
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Music The first time I ended up doing stand-up, I
521
00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:19.759
was in college and it was like my last year
522
00:24:19.799 --> 00:24:22.299
and I'd gone through like four years of drama school.
523
00:24:22.359 --> 00:24:24.900
So four years of sitting in a circle and crying
524
00:24:24.920 --> 00:24:27.640
and holding hands and doing things like emoting with your
525
00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:29.349
shoulders or whatever the hell they tell you to do
526
00:24:29.410 --> 00:24:32.089
in drama school.
527
00:24:32.109 --> 00:24:35.730
I've noticed you emote exclusively with your shoulders. It's a
528
00:24:35.809 --> 00:24:36.609
lot of motion.
529
00:24:36.690 --> 00:24:40.210
It's the basis of Bollywood, my friend. It's emoting with
530
00:24:40.269 --> 00:24:40.910
your shoulders.
531
00:24:42.529 --> 00:24:43.150
Oh, you're right.
532
00:24:43.809 --> 00:24:44.130
Wow.
533
00:24:44.349 --> 00:24:44.829
Okay.
534
00:24:44.890 --> 00:24:45.150
All right.
535
00:24:45.329 --> 00:24:48.970
I ended up writing like as a almost rebellion this show.
536
00:24:49.250 --> 00:24:51.259
Remember there was a movie called White Men Can't Jump.
537
00:24:51.299 --> 00:24:51.690
Yes.
538
00:24:51.839 --> 00:24:53.779
So I wrote a show called Brown Men Can't Hump
539
00:24:54.900 --> 00:24:57.279
in my final year of college. And so the first
540
00:24:57.299 --> 00:24:59.420
time I did stand up, it was like 65 minutes
541
00:24:59.460 --> 00:25:03.930
for 800 people. Wow. And all friends, you know, so
542
00:25:03.950 --> 00:25:06.130
just inside stories. And you feel like you're like, I'm
543
00:25:06.150 --> 00:25:08.440
the shit. I'm amazing at this. Cut to you at
544
00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:11.779
an open mic in Chicago, like three weeks after graduation,
545
00:25:11.819 --> 00:25:14.680
getting booed off stage. And you discover, no, I need
546
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:16.359
to be able to make strangers laugh.
547
00:25:16.460 --> 00:25:16.700
Yes.
548
00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:17.400
As well.
549
00:25:17.779 --> 00:25:18.119
So, yeah.
550
00:25:18.680 --> 00:25:21.359
Now, tell me about that transition to Chicago, because that's
551
00:25:21.480 --> 00:25:22.000
quite a leap.
552
00:25:22.539 --> 00:25:26.069
It is a great city. I love it. And I
553
00:25:26.329 --> 00:25:29.390
used to... I had three jobs. I was a dishwasher
554
00:25:29.430 --> 00:25:32.839
at the Grand Lux Cafe on Michigan Avenue. And I
555
00:25:32.859 --> 00:25:35.079
was doing open mics at night. And I was a
556
00:25:35.140 --> 00:25:40.099
security guard at a tiny school. And it was, I'd
557
00:25:40.200 --> 00:25:42.140
venture to say one of the best times in my life.
558
00:25:42.859 --> 00:25:46.940
You know, where you're, for some reason, you're broke as hell,
559
00:25:46.980 --> 00:25:49.309
but you always have enough money for booze and a
560
00:25:49.349 --> 00:25:52.549
pack of cigarettes. You know, at that age, it somehow
561
00:25:52.589 --> 00:25:54.849
shows up and you have enough money for that one
562
00:25:54.910 --> 00:25:58.619
date that you want to have. And there's kind of
563
00:25:58.720 --> 00:26:01.279
nothing to lose. You know, it was a great year
564
00:26:01.319 --> 00:26:03.019
of my life. And then my visa expired and I
565
00:26:03.019 --> 00:26:04.259
had to go home, you know.
566
00:26:04.500 --> 00:26:05.980
Did you sell knives for a while?
567
00:26:06.059 --> 00:26:10.900
I sold Cutco cutlery kitchen knives, which is also the
568
00:26:10.940 --> 00:26:13.900
year after 9-11. So brown guy at your door with knives.
569
00:26:16.750 --> 00:26:21.009
It's not, you know, not a lot of sales.
570
00:26:21.650 --> 00:26:27.190
Hey, can I interest you in a... Maybe don't start
571
00:26:27.210 --> 00:26:29.000
with the knife out at that point.
572
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:31.559
But you have a, like a demo, right? So they
573
00:26:31.579 --> 00:26:33.579
give you leather strips and then you cut the knife
574
00:26:33.819 --> 00:26:35.420
and then you pile up the strips and then you
575
00:26:35.440 --> 00:26:37.440
cut the pile of strips and you cut a penny
576
00:26:37.480 --> 00:26:41.210
in half. Great knives. And like a, I think it's
577
00:26:41.230 --> 00:26:43.470
like $ 135 set at that time and you make like
578
00:26:43.470 --> 00:26:46.529
40 bucks commission. I made zero sales.
579
00:26:46.789 --> 00:26:47.609
You made no sales.
580
00:26:47.730 --> 00:26:49.190
After 9-11, no chance.
581
00:26:51.059 --> 00:26:52.839
Were you doing comedy right after 9-11?
582
00:26:52.980 --> 00:26:53.359
I was.
583
00:26:53.579 --> 00:26:57.240
I was doing like, rooms on the south side of Chicago.
584
00:26:57.740 --> 00:26:59.009
And what was that like?
585
00:26:59.309 --> 00:27:02.210
I was booed off stage seven weeks in a row
586
00:27:02.509 --> 00:27:03.829
at a bar called Mike's.
587
00:27:04.069 --> 00:27:06.009
Is that because, I mean, before they would even listen
588
00:27:06.029 --> 00:27:06.630
to you? Yeah.
589
00:27:07.029 --> 00:27:09.109
Just like, I mean, a south side room in Chicago
590
00:27:09.150 --> 00:27:11.529
is always a tough room, right? And very little patience.
591
00:27:11.549 --> 00:27:13.900
So I was just going up like, what's up with
592
00:27:13.960 --> 00:27:17.559
cockroaches or whatever? And they were like, fuck off. And
593
00:27:17.640 --> 00:27:19.099
then I.
594
00:27:19.940 --> 00:27:21.539
We do want to know what's up with cockroaches.
595
00:27:21.559 --> 00:27:24.460
What is up with cockroaches? I don't know. I think we'll...
596
00:27:24.920 --> 00:27:32.539
Coming to Netflix. The secret life of cockroaches. And then
597
00:27:32.599 --> 00:27:37.309
I think the first joke I wrote was, and not
598
00:27:37.329 --> 00:27:39.470
very good, but I just remember kind of yelling at
599
00:27:39.549 --> 00:27:42.650
people because I was just broke and frustrated. And I
600
00:27:42.670 --> 00:27:46.349
was like, you know, you Americans, you don't value Indian people.
601
00:27:46.730 --> 00:27:50.329
We teach you in colleges and we drive your taxis
602
00:27:50.390 --> 00:27:52.829
and we are your gynecologists and we sell you food.
603
00:27:53.309 --> 00:27:58.269
Without Indians, you'd be starving, stranded, sexless, sterile, and stupid.
604
00:27:59.049 --> 00:28:00.990
And that was the first laugh I got from like
605
00:28:01.029 --> 00:28:01.589
a group of people.
606
00:28:02.789 --> 00:28:05.130
So in a way, I mean, when did you start
607
00:28:05.150 --> 00:28:10.250
to see And this presupposes you saw it change, but
608
00:28:10.390 --> 00:28:13.369
things soften, you know, in the time after 9-11.
609
00:28:15.230 --> 00:28:17.299
I was gone by then, you know, by the time
610
00:28:17.319 --> 00:28:17.819
they softened.
611
00:28:17.839 --> 00:28:18.720
Your visa expired.
612
00:28:18.740 --> 00:28:20.420
My visa expired. I went home and I wanted to
613
00:28:20.460 --> 00:28:24.299
get into, you know, Bollywood. And I got a job
614
00:28:24.339 --> 00:28:27.609
at CNBC, which was the craziest thing. Like, I love
615
00:28:27.619 --> 00:28:29.390
Jon Stewart. I was a gigantic fan.
616
00:28:29.430 --> 00:28:29.630
Right.
617
00:28:30.289 --> 00:28:32.849
And I ended up taking a handy cam. Sorry.
618
00:28:33.170 --> 00:28:33.309
Sorry.
619
00:28:34.029 --> 00:28:36.390
Before that, I went to Mumbai to be a VJ.
620
00:28:36.430 --> 00:28:38.309
I don't know if you guys know what a VJ is.
621
00:28:38.349 --> 00:28:41.509
We know what a VJ is. So it's just me
622
00:28:41.529 --> 00:28:45.059
with like spiky hair and like no sleeves.
623
00:28:45.660 --> 00:28:48.299
And then. Well, you're there.
624
00:28:48.420 --> 00:28:49.200
That's all you need.
625
00:28:49.220 --> 00:28:51.259
Spiky hair. And a Cooper shell necklace.
626
00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:51.859
Yeah. Yeah.
627
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:52.079
Yeah.
628
00:28:52.420 --> 00:28:55.099
And at some point a producer actually told somebody else,
629
00:28:55.119 --> 00:28:57.910
they're like, his arms are too saggy. So we're going
630
00:28:57.930 --> 00:29:00.470
to give him fake tattoos to cover up the arms.
631
00:29:00.549 --> 00:29:02.609
And I was like, just give me sleeves.
632
00:29:03.369 --> 00:29:07.809
It would be easier if you just give me sleeves.
633
00:29:08.509 --> 00:29:11.490
This is why I've never, you can't find one picture
634
00:29:11.549 --> 00:29:15.400
of me sleeveless. It's my first rule. I will have sleeves.
635
00:29:15.420 --> 00:29:18.619
So now I have henna tattoos that I have to
636
00:29:18.740 --> 00:29:21.880
touch up every eight weeks. And I was fired in
637
00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:25.759
like three months. And then I shot a pilot on
638
00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:28.740
my friend's kitchen table, which was like a news comedy pilot.
639
00:29:28.960 --> 00:29:32.509
And CNBC picked me up and I got to go
640
00:29:32.630 --> 00:29:34.869
on the primetime news at the end of the primetime
641
00:29:34.910 --> 00:29:37.910
news bulletin at 945 and do three minutes of jokes
642
00:29:37.990 --> 00:29:42.259
every day. And I was 26, you know, on a
643
00:29:42.299 --> 00:29:46.000
show that the prime minister's watching and that every major
644
00:29:46.039 --> 00:29:48.880
businessman is watching and everybody was kind of cool and
645
00:29:48.960 --> 00:29:51.220
patient to say this is clearly a kid and he's
646
00:29:51.319 --> 00:29:54.640
clearly very green. But let's give him time. And so
647
00:29:54.660 --> 00:29:57.200
I got to do that for like four years before
648
00:29:57.559 --> 00:29:58.200
trying to do film.
649
00:29:58.220 --> 00:30:01.779
You know, it's interesting. So You knew you were funny
650
00:30:02.579 --> 00:30:06.559
and that you had this talent, but acting seemed to
651
00:30:06.579 --> 00:30:08.700
be something that you were more interested in.
652
00:30:09.250 --> 00:30:13.730
At the time, yeah, for sure. There's a movie called
653
00:30:13.769 --> 00:30:17.369
Rang De Basanti, which is a Bollywood ensemble movie. And,
654
00:30:17.990 --> 00:30:22.339
you know, Hindi movies, you know, are full of beautiful people. Just,
655
00:30:22.420 --> 00:30:26.960
you know, blessed by God beautiful and talented and amazing.
656
00:30:26.980 --> 00:30:29.359
And I just kind of knew... This isn't a space
657
00:30:29.420 --> 00:30:32.039
for me. I won't cut it. And then I saw
658
00:30:32.059 --> 00:30:34.900
this movie that had this lovely ensemble with like three
659
00:30:34.940 --> 00:30:37.799
other guys that looked like me. And, you know, now
660
00:30:38.140 --> 00:30:40.599
in India, there's a path for like an Adam Sandler
661
00:30:40.640 --> 00:30:42.140
kind of an actor or a Ben Stiller kind of
662
00:30:42.180 --> 00:30:45.730
an actor. Then there wasn't. And then I'm like, I
663
00:30:45.789 --> 00:30:47.589
finally feel like there's a place for me in the
664
00:30:47.609 --> 00:30:50.970
film industry. And then I went to an audition line.
665
00:30:50.990 --> 00:30:53.029
It was a bunch of six foot, you know, two
666
00:30:53.089 --> 00:30:57.549
guys who looked amazing. So I... I ended up shooting
667
00:30:57.589 --> 00:31:00.069
a standup special with my own money and getting a
668
00:31:00.130 --> 00:31:04.200
DVD together, just making sure that the DVD looked packaged
669
00:31:04.259 --> 00:31:06.640
enough to where it could belong next to, I don't know,
670
00:31:06.680 --> 00:31:09.640
Magnolia or something in a DVD library. And it was
671
00:31:09.660 --> 00:31:15.960
called Viragra, which, because, you know, puns are always fun.
672
00:31:16.500 --> 00:31:19.420
And I ended up going to every DVD library in
673
00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:22.539
Mumbai where I knew filmmakers rented DVDs from and just
674
00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:25.849
giving them 10 free copies. And that made its way
675
00:31:25.890 --> 00:31:28.430
to different production houses and got me auditions. So I
676
00:31:28.450 --> 00:31:29.869
got to kind of shortcut my way in.
677
00:31:29.890 --> 00:31:34.880
But that's, I mean, that's incredible gumption. And it really,
678
00:31:35.920 --> 00:31:38.440
that is, I think, a word from your culture, gumption.
679
00:31:38.599 --> 00:31:40.640
Yeah, it's an ancient Sanskrit word.
680
00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:50.440
But that shows a lot of ingenuity. And that's very
681
00:31:50.480 --> 00:31:53.339
impressive that you would do that. And what you were...
682
00:31:53.829 --> 00:31:57.210
You saw yourself as, okay, I could do this. I'd
683
00:31:57.230 --> 00:31:59.869
like to be in, I'd like to crack this Bollywood
684
00:32:00.390 --> 00:32:06.259
film industry. And it is amazing to me. I don't
685
00:32:06.319 --> 00:32:11.359
think most people who haven't looked into it can understand
686
00:32:11.759 --> 00:32:16.599
how massive those stars are in India. I mean, it's
687
00:32:17.740 --> 00:32:21.279
bigger than, we think, oh, celebrities here are revered. Well,
688
00:32:21.740 --> 00:32:25.150
the most revered celebrity here is probably you know, disliked
689
00:32:25.190 --> 00:32:27.730
and liked almost in equal measure with a few exceptions.
690
00:32:27.809 --> 00:32:30.849
But it's a whole other thing in India.
691
00:32:31.049 --> 00:32:34.130
I think in the Indian film industry, once you get
692
00:32:34.190 --> 00:32:36.769
to wherever these top 10% are, you know, just the
693
00:32:37.009 --> 00:32:40.299
stars of stars, probably the least famous of them is
694
00:32:40.339 --> 00:32:43.059
more famous than a Kardashian, you know, is the way
695
00:32:43.079 --> 00:32:45.440
that I would put it. It's an amazing level of
696
00:32:47.140 --> 00:32:51.500
respectful adulation and fame at the same time. And it's because,
697
00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:58.819
to me, it represents... Beautiful escapism, you know, picture like
698
00:32:58.940 --> 00:33:02.500
in my family, we had Sunday mornings was the only
699
00:33:02.559 --> 00:33:05.779
time that the entire family would go out together. And,
700
00:33:06.019 --> 00:33:08.099
you know, dad is tired from work and mom is
701
00:33:08.119 --> 00:33:10.240
tired from work. And you sit down in the movie
702
00:33:10.259 --> 00:33:13.339
theater and watch one Bollywood movie and then go out
703
00:33:13.380 --> 00:33:17.210
for lunch. So it has to be beautiful and large
704
00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:19.839
and magnanimous. Like if you show a spotlight, we're going
705
00:33:19.859 --> 00:33:23.619
to kill ourselves.
706
00:33:24.059 --> 00:33:26.720
You don't want to see a movie where people in
707
00:33:26.759 --> 00:33:32.589
chinos are in a fluorescently lit newsroom talking about child abuse.
708
00:33:32.630 --> 00:33:32.869
No.
709
00:33:32.930 --> 00:33:36.329
No, no. That's not going to get the whole family.
710
00:33:36.869 --> 00:33:38.230
Very hard to turn that into a musical.
711
00:33:39.890 --> 00:33:40.950
Oh, God.
712
00:33:41.410 --> 00:33:43.500
I tried, I know. I looked into it.
713
00:33:43.640 --> 00:33:45.299
Spotlight the musical hasn't happened?
714
00:33:45.339 --> 00:33:46.720
I tried. I put a lot of my own money
715
00:33:46.759 --> 00:33:48.740
into it, and I'll just say it was a mistake.
716
00:33:49.920 --> 00:33:54.069
But no, it is absolutely massive. I have to tell you,
717
00:33:54.589 --> 00:33:56.690
of all the places I've been in the world, my
718
00:33:56.809 --> 00:34:00.049
brief time in India, and I still believe this, and
719
00:34:00.069 --> 00:34:01.940
I don't know how you feel about it, It is
720
00:34:02.460 --> 00:34:05.240
the most different culture I've ever been in. Same. I've
721
00:34:05.259 --> 00:34:08.159
been to a lot of places. Yeah. But when you're
722
00:34:08.300 --> 00:34:10.579
in India, and I said I was in Jaipur, and
723
00:34:10.619 --> 00:34:13.719
we were driving to a location, and we're going through
724
00:34:13.739 --> 00:34:18.130
sort of the heart of the city, and people, cars, livestock,
725
00:34:18.429 --> 00:34:25.449
everything is moving, but there was no formalized flow of traffic.
726
00:34:25.969 --> 00:34:30.480
Everything was moving in all directions, And I thought it
727
00:34:30.539 --> 00:34:33.800
was kind of beautiful. I mean, it was, if you
728
00:34:33.889 --> 00:34:37.610
surrendered to that, you're like, this is so completely different
729
00:34:38.250 --> 00:34:40.949
from anything I've experienced on the planet Earth before.
730
00:34:40.969 --> 00:34:41.309
Yeah.
731
00:34:41.650 --> 00:34:45.550
And the people are very beautiful and there's, but I
732
00:34:45.849 --> 00:34:49.769
remembered feeling completely outside my body. The moment you land
733
00:34:49.909 --> 00:34:52.130
and then you're driving to the hotel, you're driving around
734
00:34:52.449 --> 00:34:55.519
animals on the street and there's six people on a,
735
00:34:55.599 --> 00:34:59.400
like a, bike, you know, and it's amazing.
736
00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:01.920
I think you guys go through three stages, right? Whenever
737
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:05.190
my friends from abroad come over, it's because I recognize
738
00:35:05.210 --> 00:35:07.210
that it is sensory overload.
739
00:35:07.289 --> 00:35:07.510
Yeah.
740
00:35:07.530 --> 00:35:09.630
You know, it is total sensory overload, you know, more
741
00:35:09.789 --> 00:35:14.539
colors and people and flavors and everything that you've experienced
742
00:35:14.599 --> 00:35:17.559
in like a per capita basis, right? So they always
743
00:35:17.820 --> 00:35:20.539
come in and my friends are always just kind of
744
00:35:21.920 --> 00:35:24.340
glazed over the eyes for like the first two days
745
00:35:24.380 --> 00:35:27.559
because they've just never experienced so much in 48 hours.
746
00:35:28.199 --> 00:35:29.800
Then I meet them like a week later and they're
747
00:35:29.860 --> 00:35:34.670
really homesick. You know, I miss peanut butter or some
748
00:35:34.710 --> 00:35:36.110
shit like that, right?
749
00:35:36.309 --> 00:35:36.730
And then.
750
00:35:39.030 --> 00:35:41.750
And then you meet them.
751
00:35:41.889 --> 00:35:43.349
I miss peanut butter.
752
00:35:44.110 --> 00:35:45.829
Then you meet them a week later and they're like,
753
00:35:46.110 --> 00:35:50.039
I'm never going back. And that's the art. You've got to.
754
00:35:50.019 --> 00:35:54.690
Make it past the peanut butter stage. I remember I
755
00:35:54.710 --> 00:35:56.699
put a lot of peanut butter in my baseball cap.
756
00:35:56.739 --> 00:35:58.739
You did. You had me pack it. And I kept
757
00:35:58.980 --> 00:35:59.500
taking my cap.
758
00:35:59.539 --> 00:36:02.380
Yeah, I wasn't allowed to pack clothes because I had
759
00:36:02.420 --> 00:36:03.619
to pack all your peanut butter.
760
00:36:05.039 --> 00:36:07.849
I've had comedians show up to comedy festivals with peanut
761
00:36:07.869 --> 00:36:11.110
butter in their suitcases. Like I had a female comedian
762
00:36:11.130 --> 00:36:13.789
from L.A. show up with like bread and peanut butter.
763
00:36:13.849 --> 00:36:17.760
And I'm like, we have a billion people, we're feeding
764
00:36:17.820 --> 00:36:21.269
each other, you know? And then she went on to
765
00:36:21.309 --> 00:36:23.269
eat every local thing that she could eat in like
766
00:36:23.449 --> 00:36:24.230
under 10 minutes.
767
00:36:24.869 --> 00:36:25.130
But yeah.
768
00:36:26.010 --> 00:36:29.789
The, yeah, you know, it's interesting because we love doing
769
00:36:30.389 --> 00:36:34.780
travel shows and I really wanted to go to India
770
00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:38.460
and do a whole travel show. Yeah. But, and I
771
00:36:38.480 --> 00:36:41.059
would still like to do that. I remember the government
772
00:36:41.940 --> 00:36:44.300
was very much like, well, what are you going to do? Well,
773
00:36:44.320 --> 00:36:46.530
you know, we go to all these different countries and
774
00:36:46.690 --> 00:36:50.230
I am, I don't want to diss the country. I
775
00:36:50.269 --> 00:36:52.730
want to go there and meet the people and make
776
00:36:53.989 --> 00:36:57.369
comedy with them. I don't want it to be making
777
00:36:57.449 --> 00:37:02.119
fun of them. And so, but I did notice that
778
00:37:03.019 --> 00:37:07.079
of all of the governments that we encountered, India felt,
779
00:37:07.139 --> 00:37:09.920
and I know that you've run up against this, they were,
780
00:37:10.639 --> 00:37:13.280
They want a lot of assurances about what we're going
781
00:37:13.300 --> 00:37:16.619
to do while we're there. They'd like to see the footage.
782
00:37:16.780 --> 00:37:19.550
And I thought, I don't know, it was a different
783
00:37:19.610 --> 00:37:22.610
attitude than I had come across before. Do you know
784
00:37:22.789 --> 00:37:23.349
what that's about?
785
00:37:23.369 --> 00:37:27.239
I remember when you guys were thinking about doing that
786
00:37:27.380 --> 00:37:31.889
because we were emailing and then... I mean, the version
787
00:37:31.929 --> 00:37:34.570
that I heard could be very, very different. But they said,
788
00:37:35.269 --> 00:37:39.010
we're going to think about permissions because he shot something
789
00:37:39.070 --> 00:37:41.389
here before without permissions.
790
00:37:41.429 --> 00:37:41.650
Yes.
791
00:37:42.840 --> 00:37:45.679
Which was something that we didn't even think about. But
792
00:37:45.800 --> 00:37:47.880
years ago, we did a piece. I mean, we're talking
793
00:37:47.900 --> 00:37:50.699
the old late night show. We did a piece with
794
00:37:50.739 --> 00:37:54.610
a writer, Andy Blitz. And it was a really funny idea,
795
00:37:54.659 --> 00:37:57.489
which is he's having trouble with his computer. And so
796
00:37:57.550 --> 00:37:59.889
he unplugs it and he wraps the cord around it.
797
00:38:00.420 --> 00:38:02.900
and goes to the airport and then you see him,
798
00:38:02.920 --> 00:38:06.599
it's a very expensive piece, he flies to India and
799
00:38:07.139 --> 00:38:11.030
then he walks through the streets and finds the actual
800
00:38:11.110 --> 00:38:13.710
place where the Collins Center is and brings the computer
801
00:38:13.750 --> 00:38:18.730
to the person, which we thought was a really clever idea.
802
00:38:19.150 --> 00:38:21.250
We were doing this show by the seat of our
803
00:38:21.289 --> 00:38:24.059
pants and of course, and I don't think it was
804
00:38:24.659 --> 00:38:29.699
insulting at all, but they just went and they didn't,
805
00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:34.320
Do the proper paperwork. And apparently, so then we're, I think,
806
00:38:34.320 --> 00:38:37.110
15 or 20 years later saying, hey, we'd love to
807
00:38:37.139 --> 00:38:39.989
come and do something that we think is really respectful
808
00:38:40.050 --> 00:38:42.130
and fun about India. And they said, you didn't fill
809
00:38:42.170 --> 00:38:46.019
out the paperwork last time and you need to be penalized.
810
00:38:46.159 --> 00:38:48.159
And at first we didn't know what they were talking about.
811
00:38:48.179 --> 00:38:48.400
And then.
812
00:38:48.869 --> 00:38:50.429
Of course, we talked to Andy Blitz and he's like,
813
00:38:50.530 --> 00:38:53.369
oh yeah, I didn't fill out any papers.
814
00:38:53.489 --> 00:38:54.090
Oh no.
815
00:38:54.110 --> 00:38:55.130
Who needs to do that?
816
00:38:55.230 --> 00:38:55.869
So, yeah.
817
00:38:56.110 --> 00:38:58.010
You can't expect us to fix your computers and then
818
00:38:58.090 --> 00:39:03.630
not have good memories. We're going to remember shit, you know?
819
00:39:04.269 --> 00:39:06.719
Just once, I want to see like an American call
820
00:39:06.760 --> 00:39:08.639
an Indian tech place and he'd be like, I need
821
00:39:08.659 --> 00:39:11.159
to fix my computer. Just us be like, do you though?
822
00:39:12.340 --> 00:39:13.800
Do you really need a computer? What are you going
823
00:39:13.820 --> 00:39:14.300
to do on it?
824
00:39:14.300 --> 00:39:15.039
Yeah, what are you going to do?
825
00:39:15.579 --> 00:39:17.820
No, and then just put the phone down on you.
826
00:39:18.480 --> 00:39:19.280
You don't need a computer.
827
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:20.139
Yeah.
828
00:39:20.380 --> 00:39:25.289
Well, I mean, you had found, it's hard to comprehend
829
00:39:25.590 --> 00:39:27.869
in American society because we pride ourselves on you can
830
00:39:27.909 --> 00:39:29.650
say whatever you want and people may not like it.
831
00:39:30.449 --> 00:39:36.079
but that is your right under the constitution. And I
832
00:39:36.119 --> 00:39:40.280
know you've talked about this a lot, but so we
833
00:39:40.500 --> 00:39:44.599
don't have to dwell on it, but you gave a
834
00:39:45.480 --> 00:39:54.960
very intelligent and wonderful monologue about India and then flew there.
835
00:39:55.179 --> 00:39:56.360
And what happened?
836
00:39:56.800 --> 00:40:03.460
Well, without saying too much, I was doing a show
837
00:40:03.639 --> 00:40:05.340
at the Kennedy Center and then I ended up making
838
00:40:05.380 --> 00:40:07.820
a YouTube video at the end of it, which was
839
00:40:07.860 --> 00:40:13.440
a monologue and ended up just in a very kind
840
00:40:13.480 --> 00:40:15.940
of improvised thing where my wife and I were in D.C.
841
00:40:16.280 --> 00:40:18.659
and we were looking at some monuments and I was homesick.
842
00:40:19.260 --> 00:40:21.409
And I kind of wrote this thing down at 4 p.m.
843
00:40:21.969 --> 00:40:24.030
before the show. And I showed it to my wife
844
00:40:24.110 --> 00:40:25.670
and I'm like, should I do this? And she's like, yeah,
845
00:40:26.090 --> 00:40:26.730
what could happen?
846
00:40:27.730 --> 00:40:28.130
And then.
847
00:40:28.269 --> 00:40:29.309
And it's called Two Indies.
848
00:40:29.329 --> 00:40:31.670
It's called Two Indies. And then we found a wedding
849
00:40:31.730 --> 00:40:34.449
photographer on Yelp who had a camera and we shot
850
00:40:34.469 --> 00:40:36.840
it and we put it up. And it really just
851
00:40:36.880 --> 00:40:39.920
began with like sort of one news channel. I think
852
00:40:39.960 --> 00:40:42.980
we all have the angry on fire all the time
853
00:40:43.019 --> 00:40:45.880
news channel in every country. And so I put it
854
00:40:45.980 --> 00:40:48.019
up and it went viral for like three days. Lots
855
00:40:48.079 --> 00:40:50.059
of love. And then a news channel picked it up
856
00:40:50.420 --> 00:40:53.179
and they kind of set everything on fire. And so
857
00:40:53.840 --> 00:40:55.800
on this channel, people were calling me on sorts of
858
00:40:55.840 --> 00:40:58.909
things and saying, cancel his passport and filing complaints. And
859
00:40:58.949 --> 00:41:00.690
then when I landed, I was like, I don't know
860
00:41:01.369 --> 00:41:02.369
how this is going to go.
861
00:41:02.650 --> 00:41:03.210
Where did you land?
862
00:41:03.250 --> 00:41:03.690
What city?
863
00:41:03.849 --> 00:41:04.369
In Mumbai.
864
00:41:04.429 --> 00:41:05.010
Mumbai. Okay.
865
00:41:05.130 --> 00:41:09.739
And then we just kind of buckled down for two months.
866
00:41:09.800 --> 00:41:12.079
You know, the theme of the new special is also
867
00:41:12.119 --> 00:41:15.300
sort of, if you can find a way to stay
868
00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:18.949
mentally strong through an outrage cycle, You discover that real
869
00:41:19.030 --> 00:41:23.300
life and love is on the way. And I think
870
00:41:23.360 --> 00:41:26.300
in moments like that, you discover what it means to
871
00:41:26.320 --> 00:41:30.300
be a comic in a certain sense. Because you never
872
00:41:30.360 --> 00:41:32.619
think about sort of, if you really focus, you're not
873
00:41:32.639 --> 00:41:35.510
thinking about fair, unfair, any of these larger things. You're thinking,
874
00:41:35.949 --> 00:41:38.230
is this funny? Is there a joke that can be
875
00:41:38.650 --> 00:41:40.289
told about this or a story that can be told?
876
00:41:40.309 --> 00:41:44.130
You know, for context, I... I cannot wait to hear
877
00:41:44.230 --> 00:41:46.469
Chris Rock's five minutes about the Oscars.
878
00:41:46.750 --> 00:41:46.989
Yeah.
879
00:41:47.050 --> 00:41:49.650
You know, I've never heard him talk about it, tweet
880
00:41:49.670 --> 00:41:52.050
about it, post about it, because the rule of being
881
00:41:52.090 --> 00:41:55.369
a comic is the first time it happens, it's got
882
00:41:55.389 --> 00:41:58.050
to be jokes, you know? And so for me, it
883
00:41:58.090 --> 00:42:01.230
was feeling bad that I may have let a lot
884
00:42:01.250 --> 00:42:03.909
of people down and also received a lot of love
885
00:42:04.070 --> 00:42:07.489
and saying, can I write the joke that makes you
886
00:42:07.570 --> 00:42:12.469
both laugh? Because, I take any feedback. Any feedback is
887
00:42:12.489 --> 00:42:16.239
good feedback and valid feedback. Head down, mouth shut. And
888
00:42:16.360 --> 00:42:19.980
so then I just kind of really dug deep to
889
00:42:20.679 --> 00:42:23.219
write a show about being an idiot at the center
890
00:42:23.260 --> 00:42:27.440
of the show. And I think two months later after
891
00:42:27.460 --> 00:42:29.119
I turned my phone on and there's a lot of
892
00:42:29.179 --> 00:42:32.949
love and suddenly you're grappling. You know, it's a little
893
00:42:32.969 --> 00:42:36.329
surreal to not know where you stand in people's hearts.
894
00:42:37.250 --> 00:42:39.590
And I wrote a joke which was.
895
00:42:41.099 --> 00:42:43.440
I was on the homepage of the BBC and there
896
00:42:43.460 --> 00:42:46.719
was a big headline that said, comedian polarizes the nation.
897
00:42:46.739 --> 00:42:49.099
Do you know how badly you have to fuck up
898
00:42:49.159 --> 00:42:52.159
before the British say that you divided India?
899
00:42:55.840 --> 00:42:56.389
That's great.
900
00:42:56.650 --> 00:43:00.650
Right. And so it acknowledges a fuck up. It acknowledges
901
00:43:00.730 --> 00:43:05.170
that it was polarizing and now both sides can hopefully
902
00:43:05.210 --> 00:43:07.769
laugh at it. And then I just wrote a show
903
00:43:07.789 --> 00:43:09.730
to kind of say, can I take some drama in
904
00:43:09.769 --> 00:43:11.610
my life and pivot it so it brings a lot
905
00:43:11.630 --> 00:43:14.409
of people joy, which I think is the comedian's job.
906
00:43:14.489 --> 00:43:16.460
So that's the learning for me this year is what
907
00:43:16.480 --> 00:43:18.000
it means to be a comic, truly.
908
00:43:19.760 --> 00:43:22.760
You know, it's interesting because I think it takes a
909
00:43:22.800 --> 00:43:25.820
lot of discipline, and I commend you for that, to
910
00:43:25.880 --> 00:43:28.579
go through an intense experience like that where a lot
911
00:43:28.599 --> 00:43:32.860
of people are upset and remember your job is comedy.
912
00:43:33.460 --> 00:43:37.210
Because I do think many people would say, I want
913
00:43:37.230 --> 00:43:41.239
to go on the equivalent of Oprah and cry. It's
914
00:43:41.260 --> 00:43:44.679
something that I've, you know, I bumped into Chris not
915
00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:47.099
too long ago, Chris Rock, and I was telling him,
916
00:43:47.139 --> 00:43:52.500
I really commend you on not, you know, you know, everybody,
917
00:43:52.920 --> 00:43:57.679
you know, Oprah and every show like that will do
918
00:43:57.760 --> 00:44:00.820
anything to get him to come on and open up
919
00:44:01.389 --> 00:44:04.030
and maybe tear up and cry. And it takes a
920
00:44:04.150 --> 00:44:07.670
lot of, I think, discipline and a kind of a
921
00:44:07.730 --> 00:44:11.039
class to say, I'm not going to do that. I'm
922
00:44:11.099 --> 00:44:13.639
going to wait for my moment and then do what
923
00:44:13.860 --> 00:44:14.340
I do.
924
00:44:15.380 --> 00:44:19.159
Because you want the end result of it to be joy, right?
925
00:44:19.179 --> 00:44:20.659
That is my job at the end of the day.
926
00:44:20.750 --> 00:44:25.389
And I wouldn't hand over my narrative to anybody else.
927
00:44:25.469 --> 00:44:29.949
I wouldn't trust anybody with my narrative, but myself. As
928
00:44:30.050 --> 00:44:33.889
much as I know what for instance, Prince Harry and
929
00:44:33.929 --> 00:44:37.489
Meghan Markle have gone through. I imagine there will now
930
00:44:37.570 --> 00:44:41.159
be a podcast about the book, about the interview, about
931
00:44:41.199 --> 00:44:45.340
the documentary. But a comedian doesn't have to go through that.
932
00:44:45.480 --> 00:44:48.119
We can just crack a joke and bring everybody to
933
00:44:48.139 --> 00:44:51.420
the table again. I think it's the most beautiful democratic
934
00:44:51.840 --> 00:44:55.239
of professions in that sense. So yeah, that took a while.
935
00:44:55.260 --> 00:44:57.849
And you just kind of have to surround yourself with
936
00:44:57.869 --> 00:45:00.010
other comics. You know, like I remember I was at
937
00:45:00.050 --> 00:45:02.380
the cellar, I think the night that I was on
938
00:45:02.389 --> 00:45:04.659
the news and a comic came up to me and
939
00:45:04.699 --> 00:45:06.340
he was like, you know what the worst part is?
940
00:45:06.900 --> 00:45:11.880
They're calling you a poet. And that's such a comedian
941
00:45:11.940 --> 00:45:14.659
response where at some point you go, okay, this is
942
00:45:14.679 --> 00:45:15.619
going to be funny someday.
943
00:45:15.840 --> 00:45:16.059
Yes.
944
00:45:16.119 --> 00:45:16.940
And then you buckle down.
945
00:45:17.019 --> 00:45:21.119
Did you when you went back to India, were you
946
00:45:21.539 --> 00:45:23.360
arrested or just charged?
947
00:45:23.380 --> 00:45:26.519
No, it was people filed complaints, filed complaints. And then
948
00:45:26.619 --> 00:45:28.619
the police was like, no, we're not entertaining.
949
00:45:28.739 --> 00:45:30.420
And you never felt physically threatened.
950
00:45:30.599 --> 00:45:33.960
No, I don't think there's a more powerful feeling than
951
00:45:34.000 --> 00:45:35.280
feeling like you've let people down.
952
00:45:35.340 --> 00:45:35.559
Yes.
953
00:45:35.860 --> 00:45:38.239
You know, and so I think that's the most powerful feeling.
954
00:45:38.800 --> 00:45:41.619
at the center of the special. Like I'd never, one
955
00:45:41.639 --> 00:45:43.469
of the things that was important with the special is
956
00:45:43.550 --> 00:45:46.789
I never want to lionize myself or victimize myself. You know,
957
00:45:47.769 --> 00:45:50.449
this is just funny. You know, I think we all know,
958
00:45:52.349 --> 00:45:54.030
the way that I look at it is I never
959
00:45:54.090 --> 00:45:57.860
even referenced the content as such. To me, you can't
960
00:45:57.900 --> 00:46:01.920
predict when content becomes controversial, you know, but you can
961
00:46:01.940 --> 00:46:04.460
make sure that controversy isn't your content, you know, and
962
00:46:04.480 --> 00:46:07.599
you can kind of be the idiot always. So I
963
00:46:07.619 --> 00:46:09.099
think that's been the learning.
964
00:46:09.239 --> 00:46:11.019
Do you, you know, it's funny because we started talking
965
00:46:11.059 --> 00:46:14.719
about your relationship with your parents. I'm very curious if
966
00:46:14.920 --> 00:46:16.679
they find you funny.
967
00:46:17.039 --> 00:46:18.260
Not one bit.
968
00:46:19.960 --> 00:46:20.239
Wow.
969
00:46:20.659 --> 00:46:23.460
Like they're proud of me, but like my mom will
970
00:46:23.500 --> 00:46:25.880
be sitting, like my mom will watch the audience in
971
00:46:25.900 --> 00:46:28.099
the middle of my show. And therefore, like I cannot
972
00:46:28.159 --> 00:46:31.530
have my parents in my eyeline at all during the show.
973
00:46:31.949 --> 00:46:34.869
You know, I have to say this. If I have family,
974
00:46:35.590 --> 00:46:38.969
any kind of family coming to a show, I can't
975
00:46:39.010 --> 00:46:39.429
handle it.
976
00:46:39.570 --> 00:46:41.449
And you also take it a lot more personally. Like
977
00:46:41.730 --> 00:46:44.780
my wife is very smart in that on a 25
978
00:46:44.780 --> 00:46:47.900
country world tour, she'll go like, okay, there, there, and there,
979
00:46:47.920 --> 00:46:50.400
I'm coming with you, but I'm not coming to Arlington, Texas.
980
00:46:50.679 --> 00:46:52.780
I'll come to Edinburgh, you know, I'll come to New York.
981
00:46:53.380 --> 00:46:56.159
And so then if you're doing a show and you
982
00:46:56.199 --> 00:46:58.219
look over in the wings and your wife is just
983
00:46:58.260 --> 00:47:03.070
like on her phone, wow. You take that so goddamn personally.
984
00:47:03.090 --> 00:47:05.789
And you're like, I know it's the 50th time you've
985
00:47:05.829 --> 00:47:08.030
seen the show, but you have to be as captive
986
00:47:08.090 --> 00:47:10.070
as the rest of the audience. So I just, I
987
00:47:10.090 --> 00:47:12.760
just rather not, you know, have people there.
988
00:47:13.880 --> 00:47:17.489
I'm just relating to this. this is meaningful to me.
989
00:47:17.670 --> 00:47:21.349
Because I know exactly what you're talking about.
990
00:47:21.389 --> 00:47:25.179
She's like playing Candy Crush during my, I'm like, what
991
00:47:25.199 --> 00:47:25.900
the hell?
992
00:47:26.780 --> 00:47:29.400
Do you see I'm killing here? She's like, yeah, but
993
00:47:29.420 --> 00:47:32.510
I'm really with this Candy Crush. This is a high
994
00:47:32.570 --> 00:47:34.670
score for me. This is a personal best.
995
00:47:35.070 --> 00:47:36.989
Can I tell you something though? I've been dying to
996
00:47:37.010 --> 00:47:39.929
bring this up with you. Just how your comment section,
997
00:47:39.949 --> 00:47:41.269
which I'm not sure if you read or not.
998
00:47:41.389 --> 00:47:43.050
I don't. I don't read comments.
999
00:47:43.150 --> 00:47:46.489
I read your comments and it's the most humbling comment
1000
00:47:46.510 --> 00:47:49.010
section for me ever. Why? Because the first time I
1001
00:47:49.050 --> 00:47:51.309
did your show, I was very nervous and you were wonderful.
1002
00:47:51.650 --> 00:47:54.309
And you guys shot me well, you know, you shot
1003
00:47:54.329 --> 00:47:56.530
me kind of low angle and I look good. And
1004
00:47:57.139 --> 00:47:59.800
It was a decent set. You know, God was kind
1005
00:47:59.860 --> 00:48:01.860
and all the comments were like, he's doing well. He's
1006
00:48:01.880 --> 00:48:04.090
making us proud. And then at the end of it,
1007
00:48:04.139 --> 00:48:07.300
you came and stood next to me on stage. And
1008
00:48:07.340 --> 00:48:13.900
we looked like Frodo and Gandalf. And the entire comment section,
1009
00:48:13.920 --> 00:48:15.840
you can just see them go, this fucking guy.
1010
00:48:17.630 --> 00:48:20.449
So we just looked like a pencil and a rubber together.
1011
00:48:21.489 --> 00:48:23.769
It was terrible. It didn't help that I was wearing
1012
00:48:23.789 --> 00:48:28.250
an eraser on my head too. I apologize for that. No,
1013
00:48:28.289 --> 00:48:30.309
you were hilarious right away.
1014
00:48:30.409 --> 00:48:32.369
And I.
1015
00:48:34.670 --> 00:48:41.019
Would say the gift of getting to do a late
1016
00:48:41.059 --> 00:48:46.829
night show for all those years was meeting so many
1017
00:48:46.869 --> 00:48:52.610
people that are funny in different ways. And then being
1018
00:48:52.650 --> 00:48:54.090
able to reach out to you and say, would you
1019
00:48:54.110 --> 00:48:57.739
come by and do the podcast and get to see you,
1020
00:48:58.019 --> 00:49:01.760
you know, is, it's joyous. I mean, that's my, that's
1021
00:49:01.800 --> 00:49:03.719
a joy for me. It really is very meaningful.
1022
00:49:03.920 --> 00:49:07.019
Well, credit where it's due. I don't think anybody has
1023
00:49:07.079 --> 00:49:11.449
championed more different comics and started more different careers than
1024
00:49:11.489 --> 00:49:13.489
you have through Late Night. So I must give you
1025
00:49:13.510 --> 00:49:16.780
that credit. The reason I, it was, Your show was
1026
00:49:16.820 --> 00:49:19.739
the first thing I ever did in the States. I'd
1027
00:49:19.900 --> 00:49:23.059
never done anything. Even my Netflix special was shot abroad.
1028
00:49:23.239 --> 00:49:26.079
And so that was my introduction. So it really kicked
1029
00:49:26.480 --> 00:49:29.000
everything off, that five minutes. It really was a powerful
1030
00:49:29.019 --> 00:49:29.760
thing and I'm grateful.
1031
00:49:29.780 --> 00:49:33.099
Well, you are welcome here anytime. You won't be paid.
1032
00:49:34.400 --> 00:49:35.179
That's the best part.
1033
00:49:35.239 --> 00:49:35.599
Yeah.
1034
00:49:37.269 --> 00:49:39.489
And you'll probably have to wait in an immigration line
1035
00:49:39.670 --> 00:49:44.769
for a very long time. Well, this is a huge treat.
1036
00:49:44.789 --> 00:49:47.809
Let me just make sure that I mention what's coming
1037
00:49:47.869 --> 00:49:49.670
up next, just so that I do that.
1038
00:49:49.809 --> 00:49:53.110
Well, just Veerdas Landing. It's the new special on Netflix.
1039
00:49:53.130 --> 00:49:55.309
So please watch that. And I think I'll be touring
1040
00:49:55.349 --> 00:50:00.690
the States March 1st onwards. So it's veerdas.in is my site.
1041
00:50:00.710 --> 00:50:04.090
So V-I-R-D-A-S dot I-N. And there'll be some tour dates there.
1042
00:50:04.679 --> 00:50:05.739
Anything that's that?
1043
00:50:06.139 --> 00:50:08.420
I can't wait to see. I have not seen the special.
1044
00:50:08.539 --> 00:50:10.980
I can't wait to see it. When's it drop, as
1045
00:50:11.000 --> 00:50:11.500
the kids say?
1046
00:50:11.980 --> 00:50:12.659
It has dropped.
1047
00:50:12.699 --> 00:50:13.300
It has dropped.
1048
00:50:13.400 --> 00:50:16.699
As the kids, I don't know what kids say.
1049
00:50:16.719 --> 00:50:17.699
Kids don't say any of this.
1050
00:50:17.739 --> 00:50:20.150
Kids don't say, it's just one emoji and a frown,
1051
00:50:20.789 --> 00:50:21.769
is what kids say.
1052
00:50:22.570 --> 00:50:26.849
I get a lot of poop emojis. Vir Das Landing
1053
00:50:27.010 --> 00:50:30.650
is out now, and I'm a huge fan and an
1054
00:50:30.730 --> 00:50:35.929
admirer of your approach, and- Mad respect. And thank you
1055
00:50:35.949 --> 00:50:36.710
so much for doing this.
1056
00:50:36.769 --> 00:50:37.630
Thank you for having me, guys.
1057
00:50:37.690 --> 00:50:37.889
Seriously.
1058
00:50:37.909 --> 00:50:38.230
I appreciate it.
1059
00:50:38.570 --> 00:50:40.650
Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
1060
00:50:40.829 --> 00:50:42.170
I know what you mean, Coo Column.
1061
00:50:42.369 --> 00:50:45.469
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
1062
00:50:45.610 --> 00:50:47.730
Eating tons of fresh grass.
1063
00:50:47.889 --> 00:50:48.170
What?
1064
00:50:48.309 --> 00:50:51.409
Not you or cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
1065
00:50:51.449 --> 00:50:55.119
milk is so good. It's famous all over the world.
1066
00:50:55.400 --> 00:50:55.880
Legend.
1067
00:50:56.219 --> 00:50:56.780
Dairy.
1068
00:50:57.460 --> 00:51:00.539
Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
1069
00:51:00.840 --> 00:51:04.360
help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
1070
00:51:04.400 --> 00:51:08.440
for the National Dairy Council guarantee. Learn more at ndc.ie.
1071
00:51:09.380 --> 00:51:13.000
With TUI, there's more choice than you think. Beach days
1072
00:51:13.159 --> 00:51:13.920
or a city break.
1073
00:51:14.340 --> 00:51:17.610
Weekend in Rome? Booked. Fly from your local airport?
1074
00:51:17.889 --> 00:51:18.449
Of course.
1075
00:51:18.929 --> 00:51:19.690
Just a hotel?
1076
00:51:20.050 --> 00:51:20.849
Got them too.
1077
00:51:21.289 --> 00:51:23.010
Number of nights? Take your pick.
1078
00:51:25.710 --> 00:51:34.679
Ah, that's the thing about doors. Open one and whole
1079
00:51:34.739 --> 00:51:36.519
new worlds suddenly become possible.
1080
00:51:38.699 --> 00:51:39.860
If you're searching for.
1081
00:51:39.780 --> 00:51:42.219
Your new home in Leash, the first thing you need
1082
00:51:42.239 --> 00:51:47.090
to open is MyHome, Ireland's trusted property platform. With custom filters,
1083
00:51:47.269 --> 00:51:51.030
property alerts, and a hub of advice, available online or in-app,
1084
00:51:51.469 --> 00:51:54.590
it's the smart way to buy, sell, or rent your home.
1085
00:51:55.090 --> 00:51:58.829
Start searching and find your happy place at myhome.ie.
1086
00:52:04.949 --> 00:52:07.860
Again, things are a little different today. Matt Gourley not
1087
00:52:07.900 --> 00:52:11.940
with us. I think he's doing something very important. Really?
1088
00:52:11.960 --> 00:52:12.019
No.
1089
00:52:12.360 --> 00:52:18.139
He's probably just buying a new colored... rocks for his aquarium.
1090
00:52:19.219 --> 00:52:21.570
But we are sitting here with David Hoppin, who helps
1091
00:52:21.679 --> 00:52:24.210
out on the show. And you fill in very nicely
1092
00:52:24.230 --> 00:52:25.849
on the program from time to time.
1093
00:52:25.909 --> 00:52:26.510
Oh, thank you.
1094
00:52:26.650 --> 00:52:28.670
Yeah. And what's on your mind, David?
1095
00:52:29.190 --> 00:52:31.369
No, we were just talking before this. Did we ever
1096
00:52:31.409 --> 00:52:33.269
tell you about the time that Sona and I just
1097
00:52:33.670 --> 00:52:36.429
abandoned you and Jeff to go to every single friend's
1098
00:52:36.889 --> 00:52:37.690
filming location?
1099
00:52:37.750 --> 00:52:40.539
Yeah. Wait, I don't know what you're talking about. Whenever
1100
00:52:40.559 --> 00:52:42.659
we were- First of all, you guys are supposed to
1101
00:52:42.699 --> 00:52:45.659
take care of myself and Jeff Ross, our executive producer.
1102
00:52:45.699 --> 00:52:46.340
Yeah.
1103
00:52:46.590 --> 00:52:50.230
And you said that you both, because you're each the
1104
00:52:50.269 --> 00:52:51.269
backup for the other.
1105
00:52:51.590 --> 00:52:51.829
Yeah.
1106
00:52:51.909 --> 00:52:53.489
You're the pilot and the co-pilot.
1107
00:52:53.550 --> 00:52:53.869
Yes.
1108
00:52:53.989 --> 00:52:58.289
When both of you leave the cockpit, that breaks every
1109
00:52:58.769 --> 00:53:01.639
FAA rule in the book. Yeah. So what happened? Where
1110
00:53:01.679 --> 00:53:02.119
did you go?
1111
00:53:03.099 --> 00:53:05.940
We just left and we were at Warner Brothers where
1112
00:53:05.960 --> 00:53:07.079
they filmed Friends.
1113
00:53:07.380 --> 00:53:07.579
Mm-hmm.
1114
00:53:07.909 --> 00:53:10.489
I mean, it's important to have the context that that
1115
00:53:10.570 --> 00:53:16.440
week you made me watch 56 hours of Friends. This
1116
00:53:16.500 --> 00:53:19.059
really is your fault. So this is technically your fault.
1117
00:53:19.099 --> 00:53:20.719
It was a part of a challenge. It came up
1118
00:53:20.800 --> 00:53:22.659
on the show and we had a challenge to see
1119
00:53:23.300 --> 00:53:26.050
if you could watch every, as many episodes of Friends
1120
00:53:26.110 --> 00:53:28.230
as possible in one week because- Kind of also to
1121
00:53:28.269 --> 00:53:29.530
prove the point that you didn't do a lot of
1122
00:53:29.590 --> 00:53:31.809
actual work. Okay, well, you know. You were watching those
1123
00:53:31.829 --> 00:53:34.650
shows anyway. So that was the bit. That was the bit.
1124
00:53:34.670 --> 00:53:36.639
You were doing it for the show. Okay, so you
1125
00:53:36.679 --> 00:53:38.900
watch all these episodes of Friends and then what happens?
1126
00:53:38.960 --> 00:53:42.139
So we tape Monday through Thursday. I watched Friends that
1127
00:53:42.179 --> 00:53:42.579
whole week.
1128
00:53:42.659 --> 00:53:45.679
And then on Friday, you know, David used to be
1129
00:53:45.920 --> 00:53:48.400
a tour guide on the Warner Brothers lot. And that's
1130
00:53:48.440 --> 00:53:51.920
where Friends was shot. So we were like, let's go
1131
00:53:51.960 --> 00:53:56.179
to all the locations that Friends shot on the Warner
1132
00:53:56.199 --> 00:53:56.739
Brothers lot.
1133
00:53:57.349 --> 00:53:58.900
So you went to where the fountain was?
1134
00:53:58.920 --> 00:54:02.420
Yeah, that was at the ranch, like a mile.
1135
00:54:02.239 --> 00:54:02.940
Or two away.
1136
00:54:02.980 --> 00:54:04.980
Yeah, so we left you two.
1137
00:54:05.019 --> 00:54:06.679
And then we took a full tour of the ranch
1138
00:54:06.719 --> 00:54:07.300
while we were there.
1139
00:54:07.320 --> 00:54:11.090
Wait, so you left your job. And I remember this.
1140
00:54:11.230 --> 00:54:12.670
We didn't tell either of you either.
1141
00:54:13.050 --> 00:54:13.710
We didn't tell.
1142
00:54:15.070 --> 00:54:17.190
Was I doing a show that day? There was no show. No,
1143
00:54:17.239 --> 00:54:18.340
it was Friday. Yeah.
1144
00:54:18.639 --> 00:54:21.219
It was not even a day. We're so relaxed.
1145
00:54:21.260 --> 00:54:23.500
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're getting a paycheck.
1146
00:54:23.519 --> 00:54:25.139
You should be on hand to take care of me.
1147
00:54:25.179 --> 00:54:28.940
I probably needed some valuable medical help that day.
1148
00:54:28.960 --> 00:54:31.219
Well, that's normal every day though.
1149
00:54:33.920 --> 00:54:36.719
David, let's not get it out there that I have
1150
00:54:36.760 --> 00:54:38.519
a series of fits and convulsions.
1151
00:54:38.539 --> 00:54:38.920
Uh-huh.
1152
00:54:39.909 --> 00:54:42.719
Pretty much hourly. No one needs to know that. What,
1153
00:54:43.260 --> 00:54:45.420
so you went off, did you feel any guilt? Be honest.
1154
00:54:45.980 --> 00:54:46.800
No, we had a great time.
1155
00:54:46.860 --> 00:54:48.460
We had so much fun. Yeah.
1156
00:54:48.480 --> 00:54:50.739
We took Sona's car over to the fountains.
1157
00:54:50.800 --> 00:54:53.500
Yeah. The new car or the old crappy one?
1158
00:54:54.260 --> 00:54:55.480
I think you had just gotten the new one.
1159
00:54:55.489 --> 00:54:57.369
I got my, it was a new, my Kia. It
1160
00:54:57.389 --> 00:55:01.670
was Kia Zadora. We took her to the ranch. So
1161
00:55:02.010 --> 00:55:05.119
even if you guys needed us right away, we weren't
1162
00:55:05.460 --> 00:55:08.599
close to you. So we had left and we had
1163
00:55:08.639 --> 00:55:11.239
left for like hours. Did you have your pager on you?
1164
00:55:11.260 --> 00:55:12.280
Pager.
1165
00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:12.989
Pager.
1166
00:55:13.010 --> 00:55:17.260
I've always been obsessed with the pager. I always wish
1167
00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:18.380
the pager would come back.
1168
00:55:18.659 --> 00:55:19.059
Why?
1169
00:55:19.099 --> 00:55:22.260
Because I don't like, you know, people can easily, you know,
1170
00:55:22.360 --> 00:55:25.059
ignore their phone. But I think both of you should
1171
00:55:25.079 --> 00:55:28.719
have to have a 1978 Motorola pager.
1172
00:55:28.989 --> 00:55:29.349
No.
1173
00:55:29.809 --> 00:55:31.349
Strapped to your hip. Yes.
1174
00:55:31.389 --> 00:55:34.429
And it would get mad at it.
1175
00:55:34.510 --> 00:55:36.409
And it would, I would use it all the time.
1176
00:55:36.429 --> 00:55:37.610
I don't like it.
1177
00:55:37.630 --> 00:55:37.849
Yeah.
1178
00:55:38.190 --> 00:55:40.949
I feel like you would use it for nothing serious.
1179
00:55:40.989 --> 00:55:43.219
And then we would just never return your calls because
1180
00:55:43.239 --> 00:55:44.820
we want to expect.
1181
00:55:44.539 --> 00:55:44.940
It to be real.
1182
00:55:44.960 --> 00:55:47.929
We have to return my calls. So anyway, that's quite
1183
00:55:47.969 --> 00:55:50.989
a revelation. You left for a day to go look
1184
00:55:51.070 --> 00:55:53.389
at places where they shot Friends episodes?
1185
00:55:53.409 --> 00:55:56.760
Well, then we filmed it, and then we spent even
1186
00:55:56.820 --> 00:55:59.739
more time editing the footage that we got into like
1187
00:55:59.780 --> 00:56:03.219
a little post that we put on Instagram. Then we
1188
00:56:03.260 --> 00:56:05.639
put it up on Instagram, and then Instagram was like,
1189
00:56:05.679 --> 00:56:07.019
you can't use the Friends theme.
1190
00:56:07.079 --> 00:56:07.719
Immediately.
1191
00:56:07.739 --> 00:56:10.599
So then we had to record the Friends theme, and
1192
00:56:10.619 --> 00:56:12.940
then we edited that on top of the footage.
1193
00:56:12.659 --> 00:56:13.099
That we shot.
1194
00:56:13.119 --> 00:56:14.739
You did this all in a day when you were-
1195
00:56:15.340 --> 00:56:18.099
supposedly working. In our defense- You know, I'm sorry, you
1196
00:56:18.139 --> 00:56:21.590
have the work ethic of an alcoholic chimp. If you
1197
00:56:21.610 --> 00:56:27.269
gave a circus monkey alcohol and then monitored his work
1198
00:56:27.309 --> 00:56:31.650
progress throughout the day as he stumbled and bumbled, Excuse.
1199
00:56:31.469 --> 00:56:35.190
Me, but you're the one who made me watch so
1200
00:56:35.230 --> 00:56:36.929
many hours of Friends that week.
1201
00:56:37.010 --> 00:56:40.119
So, you know, you're like enabling me.
1202
00:56:40.199 --> 00:56:44.079
If I'm an alcoholic chimp, you're the chimp guy who's
1203
00:56:44.119 --> 00:56:44.679
giving me alcohol.
1204
00:56:44.699 --> 00:56:47.159
He's not the chimp guy. He's the chimp trainer. Okay,
1205
00:56:47.179 --> 00:56:47.610
you're the.
1206
00:56:47.550 --> 00:56:50.829
Chimp trainer and you're just like, Have some more alcohol, chimp.
1207
00:56:51.010 --> 00:56:54.949
And then it's, you're the problem. You're the problem. It's
1208
00:56:55.670 --> 00:56:57.349
not me. Nothing you did is.
1209
00:56:57.329 --> 00:56:59.030
What you're saying. Nothing that David or I did.
1210
00:56:59.050 --> 00:57:01.860
I also think it's important to note that you didn't
1211
00:57:02.000 --> 00:57:03.300
know that this happened.
1212
00:57:03.340 --> 00:57:04.340
So clearly it was fine.
1213
00:57:05.440 --> 00:57:08.460
Where were you? That's not, wait a minute. You can,
1214
00:57:08.619 --> 00:57:10.380
as I said, and I'll stick with this analogy. If
1215
00:57:10.400 --> 00:57:13.610
the pilot and the co-pilot both leave the cockpit and
1216
00:57:13.639 --> 00:57:15.389
go and start getting high in the men's room, no
1217
00:57:15.429 --> 00:57:17.329
one on the plane knows about it, but it's still
1218
00:57:17.389 --> 00:57:22.019
a crime. You did endangered everybody.
1219
00:57:22.219 --> 00:57:22.460
No.
1220
00:57:22.639 --> 00:57:23.239
Endangered?
1221
00:57:23.260 --> 00:57:23.400
Yeah.
1222
00:57:23.420 --> 00:57:24.199
Did I endanger?
1223
00:57:24.219 --> 00:57:25.110
Yeah.
1224
00:57:25.309 --> 00:57:25.590
What?
1225
00:57:25.730 --> 00:57:26.909
You had to answer your phone?
1226
00:57:27.010 --> 00:57:28.210
Yeah, you had to get your own sandwich?
1227
00:57:28.269 --> 00:57:28.829
You had to say hello?
1228
00:57:28.849 --> 00:57:30.050
What's Spielberg called?
1229
00:57:30.070 --> 00:57:34.000
Then you would have looked really cool answering your own phone.
1230
00:57:34.739 --> 00:57:36.639
You don't need an assistant. You're Conan O'Brien.
1231
00:57:37.150 --> 00:57:39.650
I mean, I'm a big Wheeler dealer. I have some
1232
00:57:39.690 --> 00:57:41.889
pretty big phone calls come through, don't I, Sona? Not
1233
00:57:41.909 --> 00:57:42.409
at all.
1234
00:57:42.469 --> 00:57:45.849
You know, there have been whole days where we will
1235
00:57:45.889 --> 00:57:47.949
be sitting and no one will call.
1236
00:57:48.429 --> 00:57:52.480
I'm sure. Never. Really? Never.
1237
00:57:52.559 --> 00:57:55.360
There was never a time where I thought, oh, no,
1238
00:57:55.480 --> 00:57:56.380
what if we're missing an.
1239
00:57:56.360 --> 00:58:02.179
Important phone call? Jesus. We got to get back to
1240
00:58:02.219 --> 00:58:04.260
that desk ASAP.
1241
00:58:04.539 --> 00:58:05.260
It was never.
1242
00:58:05.280 --> 00:58:08.849
Come on. Big time, big name directors never called?
1243
00:58:08.869 --> 00:58:08.929
No.
1244
00:58:09.159 --> 00:58:12.260
What director? Do they even have your phone number?
1245
00:58:12.559 --> 00:58:15.780
What are you talking about? I don't, I'm just curious.
1246
00:58:15.860 --> 00:58:19.579
What about like rap producers or people in the music industry?
1247
00:58:20.079 --> 00:58:21.179
They might be trying to call me.
1248
00:58:21.219 --> 00:58:21.820
For what?
1249
00:58:22.599 --> 00:58:26.369
To get my take. I'm a legend.
1250
00:58:27.070 --> 00:58:30.110
To get, you don't even know anybody who's doing music
1251
00:58:30.170 --> 00:58:30.630
right now.
1252
00:58:30.989 --> 00:58:31.329
Do you?
1253
00:58:31.409 --> 00:58:32.730
I mean, I know we talked about it and you
1254
00:58:32.769 --> 00:58:35.889
keep naming the same people over and over.
1255
00:58:36.449 --> 00:58:41.179
But like, you know, you don't, like big pop stars,
1256
00:58:41.219 --> 00:58:44.340
I feel like you can't, I feel like you don't
1257
00:58:44.380 --> 00:58:45.480
know a lot of them.
1258
00:58:45.500 --> 00:58:48.519
I know Conan Gray. Name a song, name a song
1259
00:58:48.619 --> 00:58:51.000
that he sang. I wish I was the real Conan.
1260
00:58:51.139 --> 00:58:57.920
That guy, he must burn his ass. that people are
1261
00:58:57.940 --> 00:58:59.699
always running up to him going, I love you, I
1262
00:58:59.840 --> 00:59:02.340
love you, Conan. And then he turns around, they're like, oh,
1263
00:59:02.719 --> 00:59:05.409
Conan Gray, not Conan O'Brien.
1264
00:59:05.429 --> 00:59:06.889
You guys don't even look alike.
1265
00:59:07.969 --> 00:59:10.659
I love that people get this. just because he has
1266
00:59:10.679 --> 00:59:15.639
the same name, people think that he's me. Nothing alike.
1267
00:59:15.659 --> 00:59:19.000
So stupid. Conan, Conan, Conan, Conan.
1268
00:59:19.480 --> 00:59:19.960
Yes.
1269
00:59:19.980 --> 00:59:21.980
Oh no.
1270
00:59:23.500 --> 00:59:27.739
Not the Conan who's tearing up the charts. Who's really relevant.
1271
00:59:27.800 --> 00:59:30.880
And not that gorgeous, young. All right, take it easy.
1272
00:59:30.940 --> 00:59:36.260
Conan Gray. If I had work done, I'd look great. Anyway,
1273
00:59:36.559 --> 00:59:41.619
I know exactly what's going on. Conan Gray. Okay.
1274
00:59:41.780 --> 00:59:43.380
He froze so quick.
1275
00:59:43.880 --> 00:59:44.579
Sam Silliam.
1276
00:59:45.079 --> 00:59:47.519
Sam Silliam?
1277
00:59:47.559 --> 00:59:47.900
Silliam.
1278
00:59:48.800 --> 00:59:52.130
This is like you trying to. Name Taylor Swift albums.
1279
00:59:52.489 --> 00:59:52.769
All right.
1280
00:59:52.789 --> 00:59:53.489
This is rough.
1281
00:59:53.510 --> 00:59:55.730
Well, anyway, I do think that I should dock you
1282
00:59:55.769 --> 00:59:58.860
a day's pay both for what you did. Okay. How
1283
00:59:58.880 --> 00:59:59.780
many years ago was this?
1284
01:00:00.880 --> 01:00:02.800
It had to have been, what, four or five?
1285
01:00:02.900 --> 01:00:03.719
Four or five years ago.
1286
01:00:03.780 --> 01:00:05.469
I don't even remember. That's going to be adjusted to
1287
01:00:05.530 --> 01:00:06.170
for inflation.
1288
01:00:07.309 --> 01:00:08.469
I don't think that's going to happen.
1289
01:00:08.989 --> 01:00:10.889
Do you even know how much we get paid? I'm
1290
01:00:10.929 --> 01:00:12.570
not sure. I didn't think you did. Do you get
1291
01:00:12.590 --> 01:00:16.630
paid money? I know you get beans, right? You get
1292
01:00:16.650 --> 01:00:18.590
what we told you was magical beans and you keep
1293
01:00:18.610 --> 01:00:19.760
sending them home to Illinois.
1294
01:00:19.780 --> 01:00:21.039
Yeah, nothing's happened with them yet.
1295
01:00:21.059 --> 01:00:25.800
Don't you worry, mama. These are magic beans. Conan says
1296
01:00:25.840 --> 01:00:28.739
they're magical beans. Put them with the other beans.
1297
01:00:29.869 --> 01:00:31.230
I'm just a big bowl of beans.
1298
01:00:31.570 --> 01:00:31.809
Yeah.
1299
01:00:32.010 --> 01:00:33.730
Well, those things accrue over time.
1300
01:00:33.769 --> 01:00:35.630
No, but you actually pay me money. So thanks.
1301
01:00:36.130 --> 01:00:36.409
All right.
1302
01:00:36.429 --> 01:00:40.889
Listen, this was a huge waste of time. When Gourley
1303
01:00:40.929 --> 01:00:42.769
gets back, he's going to be stunned by what happened
1304
01:00:42.789 --> 01:00:46.150
in his house. But I'm proud of both of you.
1305
01:00:46.170 --> 01:00:48.889
I know I give you a hard time, but you
1306
01:00:48.929 --> 01:00:50.119
really are great at what you do.
1307
01:00:50.139 --> 01:00:50.880
What?
1308
01:00:51.019 --> 01:00:51.860
I'm waiting for it.
1309
01:00:52.179 --> 01:00:55.480
Nope. You really are both valuable people. Mean a lot
1310
01:00:55.519 --> 01:00:57.070
to me. So there you go. And....
1311
01:00:59.840 --> 01:01:03.139
Here it comes nope no sure.
1312
01:01:03.000 --> 01:01:07.420
As my name is Conan Gray you were the people
1313
01:01:07.480 --> 01:01:08.019
I've ever.
1314
01:01:07.860 --> 01:01:13.659
Met Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien Sona
1315
01:01:13.679 --> 01:01:17.789
Movsesian and Matt Gourley produced by me Matt Gourley executive
1316
01:01:17.829 --> 01:01:21.130
produced by Adam Sachs Joanna Solitaroff and Jeff Ross at
1317
01:01:21.170 --> 01:01:24.429
Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf
1318
01:01:24.690 --> 01:01:27.889
theme song by The White Stripes incidental music by Jimmy
1319
01:01:27.909 --> 01:01:34.380
Vivino take it away Jimmy Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair,
1320
01:01:34.489 --> 01:01:37.860
and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by
1321
01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:42.269
Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking
1322
01:01:42.309 --> 01:01:45.880
by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can
1323
01:01:45.940 --> 01:01:48.329
rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you
1324
01:01:48.369 --> 01:01:51.230
might find your review read on a future episode. Got
1325
01:01:51.250 --> 01:01:56.199
a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
1326
01:01:56.219 --> 01:01:58.639
323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured
1327
01:01:58.679 --> 01:02:01.219
on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please
1328
01:02:01.260 --> 01:02:05.010
subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher,
1329
01:02:05.320 --> 01:02:06.489
or wherever fine.
1330
01:02:06.269 --> 01:02:07.530
Podcasts are downloaded.
1331
01:02:13.570 --> 01:02:18.590
This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.
1332
01:02:25.250 --> 01:02:28.889
With TUI, there's more choice than you think. Beach days
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01:02:32.139 --> 01:02:33.519
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01:02:33.800 --> 01:02:34.360
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01:02:39.380 --> 01:02:42.480
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01:02:42.860 --> 01:02:43.159
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