Randall Park

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Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
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I know what you mean, Coo Column.
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Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
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Eating tons of fresh grass.
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What?
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Not you, we're cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
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milk is so good. It's famous all over the world.
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Legend.
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Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
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help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
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for the National Dairy Council guarantee. Learn more at ndc.ie.
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Reckon we'll need a fleet of about 50 vehicles next quarter. Oh,
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one of our suppliers just pulled out of the market.
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Ten should do the job. Nice, just won a new contract.
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Make that 100 vehicles.
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Why tie up your valuable capital? Whether you need a
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car or van rental for two hours or two years,
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Europe Car, moving your business your way.
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Hi, my name is Randall Park. And I feel it's
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neither here nor there.
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Okay. About being Conan O'Brien's friend. Hey there, welcome to
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Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. This is Conan O'Brien. What
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are you giggling about already?
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Because you tried to play the schoolmarm and shut us
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up right before this began and Sona and I are
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snickering away.
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Yeah.
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Sona wouldn't stop talking and we needed to get the
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show started. And here's the problem. Sona, when she's talking
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a lot and you want her to maybe talk a
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little less so that we can get something done. Okay.
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Hold it, listen, listen. He's got his hand.
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He always changes the narrative to make himself look more reasonable.
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You go nuclear.
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You change the narrative to make yourself look more reasonable.
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You've done this every single time. I'm a reasonable man.
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You're a criminal. You're an absolute criminal and you need
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to be killed.
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Well, listen.
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That's why we brought you here today. Do you notice
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the plastic on the floor? I do. I feel like
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Joe Pesci. Oh, shit.
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Blam!
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Well, I'll tell you what was going on before we
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started even recording today. We got into a big heated discussion.
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It feels like there's a generation gap.
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There is.
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Matt Gourley and I both love to talk about things
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from the 60s, 70s, 80s. And Sona, you, and not
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just you, but also Eduardo and Adam, you're all from
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a different generation and you're constantly saying, what the hell
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are they talking about? Yeah. And so this, I need
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to address this because this venture, this podcast, I worry,
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are we alienating people with our old references?
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Or bringing everybody in because as we've discussed on this
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podcast before, we're almost all exactly 10 years apart in
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three different generations.
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Millennial, Generation X, and boomer. So we're covering all bases, but.
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You guys, it's not that you're talking about your generation either.
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You're talking about things older than you two. Like you're
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talking about things from the 60s, but you were born
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in the 60s. So I know you didn't watch that
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stuff in the 60s when it aired. You like went
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back and did that. And that's what you did too.
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So it's cheating. It's not cheating. My generation and Matt's generation.
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Here's how we're different. We're somewhat aware of things that
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happened before we were alive. reading about them.
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Wow. Researching them.
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Let's attack my generation and every generation after mine.
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For you, for you, everything that happened before 1997 doesn't exist. How,
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do you even educate yourself with things that are going
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on now?
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Sure.
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No, you don't.
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See, that's the thing.
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You won't go forward and you won't go backward.
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I'm in the middle of playing Rover. I speak both
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your languages. No, you don't, Matt. No, you don't. Hey,
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guess what I listen to? Tamagotchi, Pokemon. I know what's happening.
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Oh my God.
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What?
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Sailor Moon? No, you're equally, you guys are equally as guilty. No,
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I do try, I do try to understand the new music.
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I do try, this morning I was listening. The new music.
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All the new music. How about the new way people
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speak about things?
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Hey, I dig your new sound, Kat.
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This is painful. I bought a record this morning.
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I'm with Sona on this one.
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Yeah, thank you.
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This is how you guys are. If you have time.
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Hey, excuse me.
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I'm the guy who last summer went with my daughter
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to Coachella. checked out Japanese breakfast. This morning, I'm listening
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to Wet Leg. I think they're terrific. I'm trying, I'm
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making an effort, but also I know that America had
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a civil war from 1861 to 1865.
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Okay.
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And you know about the Goonies.
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Yeah, I do.
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And you know- I'm with you on the Goonies. I
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love the Goonies. But here's the thing with you too.
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It's like, okay, I know what the Civil War is.
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I know what happened. You're like, on this date, exactly
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at this time, this cannon was shot. And then that happened.
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Why do you need to know all of that?
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Like, why can't I just know big picture stuff? You're like,
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you should know what happened on this date 400 years ago. Like,
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nobody knows that stuff, you know?
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Maybe I'm wrong. I guess I should- Oh, no, I
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didn't expect it to go that way. Now I'm uncomfortable.
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You can do what you want. You can do what
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makes you happy.
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See, this great peacemaker in the middle generation who wants
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to make both people happy.
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You know what? You are the child of a couple
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that fights bitterly. I am a child of divorce. Yeah,
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and you're- I can see it. Mommy and daddy are
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fighting again. It's happening all over again. I'm the child
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of people that should have divorced. But that's a different thing.
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But you, I'm just saying, this is really fascinating to
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me that I saw what you were doing right there,
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which is no, no, no, you're both right. Can we
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just go get ice cream and everyone's good?
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Can we?
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You're a good mommy and you're a good daddy. You
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both have photographic memory too about things. No, I don't.
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But not things that matter. You both really remember a
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lot of details. You'll remember a scene from a show
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that happened, you know, 50 years ago. I don't remember
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what I watched like two days ago.
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That's because you have something called priorities. You have a
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healthy understanding of things that are important in life and
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we don't.
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I didn't expect the conversation to go this way. Well,
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I will say- Because I think you guys also are healthy,
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have priorities.
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You don't have to sit down.
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Don't back down.
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This is how you diffuse someone. Do you understand that?
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I'm learning. I'm learning from the master. It only took
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you 14 years. But I do think, yes, it's a struggle,
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but one must stay current. One must stay current. It's
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just- And this is why it's good that you're here, Sona,
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and you, Eduardo. It's good that you're here to say
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we don't know what you're talking about because I'm sure
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there are some listeners out there who, if you and
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I go on a long run about Smokey and the Bandit,
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are saying, what are they talking about? Classic movie, 1977.
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Monster hit. There's just so many good movies. There really aren't.
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There really aren't. There are. I think there are a
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lot of really, really good movies.
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And I think that, you know, it's really hard to
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watch a lot of them, especially the ones that were
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made a long time ago.
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And if they're not on a streaming service. What are
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your favorite movies?
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I mean, I go by genre. You know, my favorite
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comedy is probably Galaxy Quest. I love Adaptation. I've always loved.
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These are solid choices.
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Yeah.
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Oh, thank you.
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They are.
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They are fun. No, I'm not being sarcastic.
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You know, my favorite rom-com is Moonstruck. You know, what
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are your favorite movies?
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Hey, look, we're just interested. I know, I feel attacked.
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You got very defensive, and we were actually, that was
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supposed to be a sweet question.
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I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. That got
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very intense. No, I thought, like, one of your choices
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was on the money, and I think... And then the other,
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just big swing.
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And a miss. Also, you know what?
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I came in real revved up on this, because you
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did the quiet thing to me right before, because you
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know that upsets me.
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It does upset you. You did those little clam hands.
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I do the little clam hands, and I do it
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because it makes Sona crazy. But you were talking a lot.
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You were on a roll. You wouldn't stop. And then
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I just do the little, a shh. And I do,
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it's Dr. Evil.
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Oh, yeah.
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Remember when he's like, can we have a little shh?
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Can we have a little shh? All right. And then
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you just see red. I do, I get it now.
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And then you attack.
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Well, also before that, you looked at Adam like, intervene
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here and quiet her up.
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Quiet this woman! That I would like to see. Would
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someone take? He did though, he looked at you like,
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intervene here. Would someone quiet this woman?
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She's hysterical!
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry I got in on it. That's what,
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by the way, that's what Stanton did when Lincoln was
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on his deathbed after being shot in Ford's Theater. See,
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I'm with you. Hold on, listen, Mary Lincoln kept coming
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into the room and wailing and screaming and throwing herself
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on the body. And finally, Stanton, of course, the Secretary
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of War says, Someone get this hysterical woman out of here.
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And they carried her away from her dying husband. Why
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would they do that? Because it's Stanton. You don't fuck
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with him. He just prosecuted a war successfully for four years.
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So he died. And he had a massive beard.
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His wife wasn't even at his bedside?
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Probably a good idea.
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Why?
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I have never more confidently held up this rap sign
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before in my life.
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No, but I don't understand this. This is upsetting. Isn't
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this upsetting? It was a different time. And Mary, she
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saw him get shot right in front of Mary.
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She's hysterical.
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I find that it was a different time excuses going
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over well these days.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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And I'd like to right now say that I think-
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Wait a minute, no, I'm not gonna say any of that.
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I was gonna do it as a joke and then
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I thought, nah. They're gonna just read it as a
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transcript at the trial. And then I'm like, Kirana, it's
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clear that I'm exaggerating for the humorous content. Cut to
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me at a newly opened Alcatraz prison. Just for you.
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Opened just for me. And you guys come by in
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a boat and wave at me. You got no audience
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and you're just walking the island.
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You know, you guys are allowed to like whatever you like.
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I'm sorry I make fun of you.
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You too. That's not cool of me to do that.
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You should enjoy it. We're all friends. Remember, Stanton, Secretary
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of War, Giant Beard. I won't remember. Had Mary Lincoln
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removed from the, well, it's of course the Peterson house.
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Remember too, if you're just talking Alcatraz, you can watch
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Escape from Alcatraz or The Rock. It depends on what
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generation you're in.
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Escape from Alcatraz. The Rock. The Rock. My guest today,
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starred in the ABC series Fresh Off the Boat.
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Like a boss.
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He's been in such films as Ant-Man and The Wasp,
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Always Be My Maybe, and Aquaman. Now you can see
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him in the Netflix series Blockbuster. Very excited he's here today.
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Randall Park, welcome. I mean, I'm a huge fan. I've
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told you this. And of the podcast, I'm a fan
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of all you guys. Yeah, I don't. I don't necessarily
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want to be your friend. No, no, no, trust me.
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That's like different. Yeah, yeah. And I, can I just
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say something? You are demonstrating incredible wisdom. You like the product,
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but you don't want to hang out at the factory.
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No.
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You're a discerning gentleman. A discerning gentleman who, I will
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point out, this shows, I think, great class. You show
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up with a brown paper bag. I wasn't sure what
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was going to happen. And you reached into it and
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you pulled out gifts for the podcast team.
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Well, yeah.
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I mean, yeah. I mean, this is, you know. Let
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me tell you something. Nobody does that. Really? Nobody brings gifts.
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Can you think of anyone, Gorley, who's brought a gift?
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The only person I can think of was Kaley Cuoco
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sent us gifts afterwards. after the fact.
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She sent us little equestrian mugs and treats.
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Really nice equestrian mugs.
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Because it went well, and she was like, I'm doing
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this without even knowing how this is gonna go.
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So far you're in a deep hole. Are you kidding? No, no, okay.
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You're on a mountain, look at this. Look at this, okay,
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let's talk about what you brought. Let's start with this.
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You brought some purulene chocolate hazelnut cream-filled wafers in a
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big tin. So when we're done eating the wafers, we
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can keep, that's going to be a swear jar. Yeah.
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We should have a swear jar. We should have a
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swear jar here. And then you brought a bottle of,
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what is the bottle? It's just some Irish whiskey. Okay, so.
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Because you're.
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You know.
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Actually not. Don't let the name and face and 100%
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genetic certitude fool you. I'm an Ashkenazi Jew and very
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proud of it. And I haven't seen you in shul lately. Oh, me? Yeah, Gourley.
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Or you, Randall. No, you brought us some Bunratty Irish whiskey. Yeah.
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And that is a, does that say potato malt on
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the bottom? No, product of Ireland, peated malt. Oh, peated malt.
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Oh.
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I'm looking at it from across the table and I thought,
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potato malt?
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You asshole.
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And there's one for the future swear jar. Yes. Oh,
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wait a minute. And then you brought us Astro Buffalo
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Chicken Wing Jerky.
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Yeah.
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Wow.
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Look at that. And then the, well, that's interesting. Look at,
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I like the logo is a, He has a cow
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in a space thing. A cow in a space suit
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floating in orbit.
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Yeah.
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I went to the store right down the street, the
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wine and cheese store and grabbed the first things I saw.
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This is amazing.
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Okay.
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00:14:08.409 --> 00:14:10.740
Well, I do think this should be a precedent now
306
00:14:10.769 --> 00:14:13.419
on the podcast. Yeah. I think people should bring gifts.
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And over time. Not that these are fine gifts.
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What?
309
00:14:20.309 --> 00:14:22.799
No, no, don't get an attitude. But over time, the
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gifts will, you know, improve. I think maybe the amount spent,
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there'll be some fine watches maybe. If I come back.
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If I come back. Oh, you are coming back. You know,
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I want to first compliment you on, and thank you.
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When I was wrapping up my late night show and
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we were doing some of our last you know, couple
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of weeks of months of episodes, you showed up and
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you brought, you did this hilarious thing on our show.
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It's the hardest I've laughed on camera in a long time.
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very seriously sold what a good artist you are and
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how much you've been working on it over COVID. And
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I swear to God, I knew nothing about this. Sometimes
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people were very cynical about talk shows and they think, well,
323
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the host knows everything that's going to happen.
324
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Yeah.
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We know some things, but I don't, I like to
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not know some things and you did not tell me this.
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So you were talking for a while about how good
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you were and you were very convincing, very good. And
329
00:15:19.639 --> 00:15:24.000
then We should put this up. I didn't bring it
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with me, but we have it.
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I think if the listener goes to Team Coco podcasts
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on Instagram.
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Yeah, you listen to it. These portraits. So you totally
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had me, hook, line, and sinker. And I was so excited.
335
00:15:36.690 --> 00:15:40.230
And then you talked very seriously about COVID and you've
336
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been working on it and you thought you got really
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good and your style and you're getting a lot of compliments.
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And then you showed me this, you put so much
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pressure on it. And then you showed me this portrait
340
00:15:51.669 --> 00:15:55.649
you had done of me, and it was terrible in
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the funniest way. And that's very hard to achieve. It
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00:16:00.299 --> 00:16:04.740
got a huge reaction from the crowd. I couldn't stop laughing.
343
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We kept showing it. People loved it. I took it home.
344
00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:13.059
My wife came home. She couldn't stop laughing, because you
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had it in a little frame. You framed it.
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Yeah, yeah.
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00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:21.460
And it is, Then my kids came home. They couldn't
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stop laughing. Guess what? It is still in our kitchen.
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00:16:24.059 --> 00:16:26.200
Oh my gosh, I love that. I look at it
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00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:28.990
every day. Every day, I'm like, I'm busy, I've got
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stuff to do, and sometimes I'm in a bad mood,
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and then I see this portrait, an original by Randall
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00:16:35.730 --> 00:16:38.200
Park of me. Oh, I love that it's still in
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00:16:38.220 --> 00:16:43.159
your home. It's hilariously, do you have it? Yes. You know,
355
00:16:43.279 --> 00:16:51.990
I actually like my kind of approach. Please look up
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this portrait. I know this is a podcast. I know
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this is a podcast, but oh my God. Sincerely, my
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approach was to like, to draw you good, like to
359
00:17:00.679 --> 00:17:03.700
try to draw you good. And then something would, I
360
00:17:03.740 --> 00:17:07.220
knew something would be off, because I'm not that great.
361
00:17:07.420 --> 00:17:11.880
And then just to accentuate the thing that's not a
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00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:13.839
little off. Well, that's what's the thing, it is a
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00:17:13.940 --> 00:17:17.480
thing of profound beauty, and Gourley, am I right? It
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really is. It's very hard to be slight, I mean.
365
00:17:21.529 --> 00:17:25.490
This is like the best version of the Uncanny Valley.
366
00:17:25.509 --> 00:17:29.230
You know, like you've somehow made that art. As opposed
367
00:17:29.269 --> 00:17:30.309
to like the lack of art.
368
00:17:30.470 --> 00:17:32.750
And I'm always, I swear to God, I'm always going
369
00:17:32.769 --> 00:17:34.690
to have this in my home. Oh, I love it.
370
00:17:34.769 --> 00:17:36.250
And visible because.
371
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It's an uncanny mountain.
372
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If that makes sense.
373
00:17:39.849 --> 00:17:40.950
Yeah.
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00:17:41.450 --> 00:17:44.849
It is truly- Well, that's an honor. A gift that
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00:17:44.890 --> 00:17:46.490
keeps on giving. I love that.
376
00:17:46.690 --> 00:17:47.289
I love that.
377
00:17:47.509 --> 00:17:50.390
You know, first of all, you've achieved many great things
378
00:17:51.099 --> 00:17:55.549
in your career. You're very funny. I am a huge
379
00:17:55.569 --> 00:17:57.529
fan of yours and you also seem like a lovely guy.
380
00:17:57.569 --> 00:17:59.329
I do wish you were my friend. I'll be honest
381
00:17:59.349 --> 00:18:05.680
with you. Yeah, yeah. Maybe after you have a little
382
00:18:05.720 --> 00:18:08.880
whiskey and some jerky, you'll warm to me.
383
00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:11.359
You know, I did, I was at a baseball game once.
384
00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:13.980
A friend had invited me to these box seats. It
385
00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:17.220
was a Dodger game, I believe. And I went to
386
00:18:17.240 --> 00:18:21.369
the game and the box, those special boxes, I was like, oh,
387
00:18:21.410 --> 00:18:23.549
this is so cool. I get to be in these
388
00:18:23.589 --> 00:18:27.359
special boxes. And you were in the box. You were
389
00:18:27.380 --> 00:18:29.519
just like sitting towards the front of the box.
390
00:18:29.740 --> 00:18:33.200
Which is something I never... There's a Dodger game. Yeah.
391
00:18:33.259 --> 00:18:36.920
I've gone to very few Dodger games. And one time
392
00:18:36.940 --> 00:18:41.000
I was invited to... I mean, I love baseball. Yeah.
393
00:18:41.259 --> 00:18:42.680
But I haven't been to a lot of Dodger games,
394
00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:44.809
but I was invited to sit in a box. And
395
00:18:44.829 --> 00:18:47.109
I remember this very clearly. I think you were. Yeah.
396
00:18:47.170 --> 00:18:52.059
Because this is a crazy... I'm friends with Jack White
397
00:18:52.299 --> 00:18:55.680
and he showed up. I think he instigated it. He said,
398
00:18:56.099 --> 00:19:00.180
I actually got some tickets in a box. So I
399
00:19:00.220 --> 00:19:03.680
went with Jack White and we went together to this
400
00:19:04.369 --> 00:19:08.660
baseball game and like 15, 20 minutes into it, Bob
401
00:19:08.720 --> 00:19:11.099
Newhart showed up. Do you remember Bob Newhart being there?
402
00:19:11.119 --> 00:19:14.839
Who's one of my all-time comedy idols. Yes, of course.
403
00:19:14.859 --> 00:19:17.339
And so I had, of course, I had, not of course,
404
00:19:17.359 --> 00:19:18.920
but I had met him a couple of times and
405
00:19:18.940 --> 00:19:21.160
interviewed him, but got to talk to him for a
406
00:19:21.210 --> 00:19:22.750
long time that night. Oh, that's amazing. And we got
407
00:19:22.789 --> 00:19:28.349
to be closer friends, which is just a joy. But
408
00:19:28.369 --> 00:19:31.089
I don't know how you feel about a box. Well,
409
00:19:31.210 --> 00:19:35.309
I saw you in the box and I didn't see
410
00:19:35.490 --> 00:19:40.250
Bob Newhart nor Jack White. Well, I give off a light.
411
00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:43.079
But I saw you. When people see me in person,
412
00:19:43.119 --> 00:19:47.730
there's just, well, it's almost Christ-like. And my wife was
413
00:19:47.789 --> 00:19:49.670
there and she was, and I had done your show.
414
00:19:50.140 --> 00:19:51.700
once at that point. She was like, oh, you should
415
00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:54.380
go say hi. And I was like, oh no.
416
00:19:58.589 --> 00:20:00.369
I didn't want to bother you. And a part of
417
00:20:00.410 --> 00:20:03.369
me was like, I don't know. I don't want it
418
00:20:03.390 --> 00:20:05.349
to be awkward. It wouldn't have been awkward.
419
00:20:05.769 --> 00:20:08.990
I don't know. Well, first of all, I think the
420
00:20:09.029 --> 00:20:11.569
truth is you just didn't want to come on the spot.
421
00:20:11.589 --> 00:20:12.329
Pure disinterest.
422
00:20:12.349 --> 00:20:12.950
Yeah, yeah.
423
00:20:12.990 --> 00:20:15.509
That's what I'm getting. Well, I know you in the
424
00:20:15.549 --> 00:20:18.549
context of the show. And then, but you know, and
425
00:20:18.589 --> 00:20:21.740
it's great. And you're so nice. And you're like, even off.
426
00:20:21.700 --> 00:20:23.099
Camera, you're so nice.
427
00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:25.279
What if I'm one of those people who switches? Is
428
00:20:25.299 --> 00:20:27.140
that what you're thinking? He could have been.
429
00:20:27.160 --> 00:20:27.880
Oh, he is.
430
00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:28.619
Yeah.
431
00:20:28.680 --> 00:20:30.259
Yeah. Shut the fuck up.
432
00:20:31.099 --> 00:20:36.700
Cha-ching. Corley, seriously. Fucking cut it out of your head.
433
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:40.160
Okay, that's paper money in the swear jar.
434
00:20:40.180 --> 00:20:42.640
There's at least $ 60. We have to eat some of
435
00:20:42.660 --> 00:20:47.990
the cookies first to make room. But no. But yeah.
436
00:20:48.009 --> 00:20:49.470
I just didn't want to ruin.
437
00:20:49.150 --> 00:20:53.029
The, because you're such a great, you know, I hold
438
00:20:53.049 --> 00:20:53.839
you in high regard.
439
00:20:53.890 --> 00:20:56.799
And I figured if I'd met you. Gourley, do me
440
00:20:56.819 --> 00:20:59.259
a favor and be honest for a second. All bits aside.
441
00:20:59.690 --> 00:21:02.369
I do think I'm the same person wherever you encounter me.
442
00:21:02.549 --> 00:21:05.230
Oh yeah, 100%. Yeah, for better or for worse.
443
00:21:05.349 --> 00:21:11.930
That is true. Okay, that's as good as I'm gonna
444
00:21:11.970 --> 00:21:14.210
get at it, Gourley. But yes, what you see is
445
00:21:14.230 --> 00:21:16.579
what you get. But, you know, one of the things
446
00:21:16.619 --> 00:21:19.839
that I was thinking about when I was driving in
447
00:21:19.880 --> 00:21:21.819
here today, because I wanted to talk to you about,
448
00:21:21.880 --> 00:21:23.039
you are a first generation.
449
00:21:23.460 --> 00:21:23.559
Yeah.
450
00:21:23.599 --> 00:21:23.900
Is that right?
451
00:21:23.920 --> 00:21:27.200
Yeah. Your parents were born in Korea.
452
00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:27.980
Yeah, yeah.
453
00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:33.400
I've always thought that it is a scary proposition when
454
00:21:34.930 --> 00:21:38.250
anyone tells their parents, you know what? I kind of
455
00:21:38.289 --> 00:21:42.730
like to get into improv in comedy. But there's something
456
00:21:42.750 --> 00:21:48.369
that when you're first generation- I've always felt that the
457
00:21:48.410 --> 00:21:50.210
intensity knob must be turned up.
458
00:21:50.609 --> 00:21:50.990
Yes.
459
00:21:51.730 --> 00:21:54.430
And this is for any culture. It's we just got here.
460
00:21:54.950 --> 00:21:57.650
We are trying to, we've got to get serious here.
461
00:21:57.670 --> 00:21:57.750
Yeah.
462
00:21:58.089 --> 00:22:02.029
And it's very important for you to get up this
463
00:22:02.089 --> 00:22:03.410
ladder as quickly as possible.
464
00:22:03.430 --> 00:22:03.509
Yeah.
465
00:22:03.609 --> 00:22:07.980
And then you're telling them, you know, I really improv
466
00:22:08.700 --> 00:22:10.700
and making some goofy stuff on the internet.
467
00:22:11.099 --> 00:22:11.180
Yeah.
468
00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:13.660
That sounds fun to me. How did that go over? Well,
469
00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:14.579
you know, yeah.
470
00:22:14.619 --> 00:22:18.450
I mean, the immigrant kind of, journey is, you know,
471
00:22:18.970 --> 00:22:22.029
I mean, that's a huge sacrifice. You leave all your friends,
472
00:22:22.049 --> 00:22:23.630
your family, you come to this new place, you don't
473
00:22:23.650 --> 00:22:25.730
speak the language, you know, you just do it so
474
00:22:25.750 --> 00:22:30.960
your children could have just better opportunities. And so I
475
00:22:31.220 --> 00:22:33.579
do remember, you know, when I started getting interested in
476
00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:37.640
doing acting and comedy and kind of telling them a
477
00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:40.400
little bit, kind of mentioning, oh, you know, this might
478
00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:41.220
be a career path.
479
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:42.140
And they shut me.
480
00:22:42.069 --> 00:22:45.390
Down right away. They were like, no, no, It's not
481
00:22:45.430 --> 00:22:47.589
going to work. You can't do it. And I was like, yeah, yeah, no,
482
00:22:47.650 --> 00:22:48.049
it's I'm not.
483
00:22:48.210 --> 00:22:49.009
Yeah, it's not. It's not.
484
00:22:49.309 --> 00:22:51.289
I'm just, you know, I'm just kind of. Hey, you
485
00:22:51.309 --> 00:22:53.750
didn't think I was serious, did you? Yeah, exactly. I'm
486
00:22:53.829 --> 00:22:58.509
still on the astrophysicist track. Yeah. And then and then
487
00:22:58.970 --> 00:22:59.490
and then I.
488
00:22:59.430 --> 00:23:01.569
Just from there on out, I just didn't tell them,
489
00:23:01.690 --> 00:23:03.579
you know, I just kind of did it, you know.
490
00:23:03.819 --> 00:23:04.130
Yeah.
491
00:23:04.490 --> 00:23:07.880
Kind of behind their backs. I still haven't told them.
492
00:23:07.940 --> 00:23:08.059
Yeah.
493
00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:12.559
That's getting harder and harder for you.
494
00:23:12.660 --> 00:23:13.059
Yeah.
495
00:23:13.180 --> 00:23:19.200
Because television, movies, you know, they don't watch much. You
496
00:23:19.240 --> 00:23:21.809
just quickly just put on some kind of like a
497
00:23:22.230 --> 00:23:23.650
medical coat when you come in the door.
498
00:23:23.670 --> 00:23:24.529
Yeah, every time.
499
00:23:24.809 --> 00:23:28.309
Oh boy, that was a tough surgery today. Why were
500
00:23:28.329 --> 00:23:30.650
you operating on the brain? I thought you operated on eyes.
501
00:23:30.710 --> 00:23:32.230
Did I say brain?
502
00:23:32.269 --> 00:23:32.839
No, no.
503
00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:36.700
We're all connected, you know. I had to go through
504
00:23:36.740 --> 00:23:38.160
the eyes to get to the brain. That's right.
505
00:23:38.740 --> 00:23:40.819
Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
506
00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:42.319
I know what you mean, Coo Collum.
507
00:23:42.539 --> 00:23:45.640
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
508
00:23:45.779 --> 00:23:47.880
Eating tons of fresh grass.
509
00:23:48.059 --> 00:23:51.009
What? Not you, we're cows. That's one of the reasons
510
00:23:51.180 --> 00:23:55.309
Irish milk is so good. It's famous all over the world.
511
00:23:55.569 --> 00:23:56.089
Legend.
512
00:23:57.650 --> 00:24:00.710
Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
513
00:24:01.009 --> 00:24:04.549
help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
514
00:24:04.569 --> 00:24:08.630
for the National Dairy Council guarantee. Learn more at ndc.ie.
515
00:24:08.890 --> 00:24:13.049
Reckon we'll need a fleet of about 50 vehicles next quarter. Oh,
516
00:24:13.430 --> 00:24:15.390
one of our suppliers just pulled out of the market.
517
00:24:15.829 --> 00:24:16.829
Ten should do the job.
518
00:24:18.470 --> 00:24:20.890
Nice, just won a new contract. Make that 100 vehicles.
519
00:24:23.130 --> 00:24:25.509
Why tie up your valuable capital? Whether you need a
520
00:24:25.549 --> 00:24:28.089
car or van rental for two hours or two years,
521
00:24:28.369 --> 00:24:31.509
Europecar offers total flexibility for you to get the job done.
522
00:24:31.750 --> 00:24:34.039
No matter what the job is, simply pay as you go.
523
00:24:34.299 --> 00:24:38.119
Search Europecar Business to get moving. Europecar, moving your business
524
00:24:38.299 --> 00:24:38.720
your way.
525
00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:40.500
You know if you're a.
526
00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:43.819
Young adult aged 19 to 25 or a full-time third-level student,
527
00:24:44.079 --> 00:24:47.200
you can get half-price public transport with a TFI LeapCard.
528
00:24:47.619 --> 00:24:48.500
Sounds complex.
529
00:24:48.859 --> 00:24:50.359
No, it's simple. 50% off journeys.
530
00:24:52.230 --> 00:24:52.569
So.
531
00:24:53.069 --> 00:24:55.289
So more money in your pocket for things you like doing.
532
00:24:55.670 --> 00:24:57.490
Because I've saved 50% on fares?
533
00:24:58.190 --> 00:24:59.789
Yes, you've got it.
534
00:24:59.950 --> 00:25:02.430
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535
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536
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at leapguard.ie. Brought to you by Transport for Ireland.
537
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:20.299
It's funny because my parents were... We've been here many generations, but...
538
00:25:21.250 --> 00:25:23.230
I was part of a very large family.
539
00:25:23.250 --> 00:25:23.549
Right.
540
00:25:23.630 --> 00:25:26.589
And I do get the sense that, and my parents
541
00:25:26.650 --> 00:25:29.450
were upwardly mobile and that had the mission that they had,
542
00:25:30.069 --> 00:25:32.190
that's the message they had received from their parents who
543
00:25:32.230 --> 00:25:36.930
received it from their parents. Yeah. But I think I
544
00:25:37.230 --> 00:25:39.039
benefited a lot from being one of many.
545
00:25:39.319 --> 00:25:39.619
Yes.
546
00:25:39.700 --> 00:25:43.400
Because I honestly think, I mean, I see helicopter parents
547
00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:46.359
today that hover over their kids and know everything that
548
00:25:46.380 --> 00:25:46.940
they're doing.
549
00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:47.160
Yeah.
550
00:25:47.180 --> 00:25:50.339
And I love my parents and they were really good parents.
551
00:25:50.759 --> 00:25:53.079
but it was a different time. There were a lot
552
00:25:53.119 --> 00:25:55.980
of us. I honestly don't think they knew what I
553
00:25:56.009 --> 00:25:58.549
was doing most of the time. And I think they
554
00:25:58.569 --> 00:26:01.130
just were, you know, I graduated college and said, yeah,
555
00:26:01.230 --> 00:26:02.390
I'm out in LA now.
556
00:26:02.509 --> 00:26:02.890
All right.
557
00:26:04.190 --> 00:26:06.150
Which one are you? Third from the top, fourth from
558
00:26:06.170 --> 00:26:08.329
the bottom. All right. Yeah, I mean, for me- I
559
00:26:08.349 --> 00:26:10.500
paid my own rent. Good enough. I mean, I was
560
00:26:10.539 --> 00:26:11.799
born and raised in LA.
561
00:26:11.819 --> 00:26:14.259
So they're like here, you know, they're like, so, and
562
00:26:14.299 --> 00:26:16.859
you know, it was kind of hard to hide from them,
563
00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:17.740
like truthfully.
564
00:26:17.819 --> 00:26:18.519
And- Right.
565
00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:22.240
But, you know, over time, it's like, you know, I just,
566
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:25.220
they'd see me on TV, they'd see me on a commercial,
567
00:26:25.299 --> 00:26:26.839
and they'd be like, wow, what was that?
568
00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:28.240
And I was like, ah, it's just a hobby.
569
00:26:28.299 --> 00:26:28.640
You know?
570
00:26:30.299 --> 00:26:32.500
And the crazy thing was they were, you know, when
571
00:26:32.539 --> 00:26:34.779
I told them, like, hey, I got this opportunity to
572
00:26:34.819 --> 00:26:40.910
play Kim Jong-un in a movie. And I was like, really, like,
573
00:26:40.990 --> 00:26:43.269
do you guys think this is okay? And they were like,
574
00:26:43.549 --> 00:26:44.470
super excited.
575
00:26:46.049 --> 00:26:47.869
Obviously. Yeah, I would say.
576
00:26:47.890 --> 00:26:48.130
Yeah.
577
00:26:49.740 --> 00:26:52.269
I'm guessing they're from South Korea. Yeah.
578
00:26:52.490 --> 00:26:54.490
Okay, good. Yeah.
579
00:26:54.630 --> 00:27:00.130
Because, you know, it gets more complicated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No,
580
00:27:00.150 --> 00:27:06.779
you cannot. You had a very good education. You studied history? Well,
581
00:27:06.799 --> 00:27:11.220
I was at UCLA. I studied English and then Asian
582
00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:13.960
American studies. I met so many young people who tell
583
00:27:13.980 --> 00:27:15.799
me they want to be in comedy and then they
584
00:27:16.299 --> 00:27:19.700
They mentioned that, yeah, in college, I only tried to
585
00:27:19.740 --> 00:27:22.259
study anything that was like TV related.
586
00:27:22.319 --> 00:27:22.640
Yeah.
587
00:27:23.059 --> 00:27:25.880
And I always, that makes me a little sad because
588
00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:31.130
I think, no, you don't need to know anything to
589
00:27:31.170 --> 00:27:36.430
be in television. You really don't. You should, this is
590
00:27:36.470 --> 00:27:39.450
your last chance to know some things and to learn
591
00:27:39.490 --> 00:27:40.470
how to know some things.
592
00:27:40.490 --> 00:27:41.009
That's right, yeah.
593
00:27:41.049 --> 00:27:43.750
And then you'll end up, that will be somehow reflected
594
00:27:43.910 --> 00:27:44.670
in your comedy.
595
00:27:44.769 --> 00:27:44.990
Yeah.
596
00:27:45.029 --> 00:27:47.849
But- when I tell, when I talk to people who say,
597
00:27:47.910 --> 00:27:49.690
oh yeah, you know, I watched all the talk shows.
598
00:27:49.710 --> 00:27:52.569
I had a class called talk show, you know, talk
599
00:27:52.609 --> 00:27:57.619
show intricacies. And I was like, no, no, that's, that's
600
00:27:57.650 --> 00:28:01.079
a terrible waste of your time. Yeah. I mean, reading
601
00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:04.920
like you can middle English or totally anything.
602
00:28:05.160 --> 00:28:05.519
Totally.
603
00:28:05.539 --> 00:28:08.140
I mean, I, I think when I, cause I didn't
604
00:28:08.180 --> 00:28:12.809
start pursuing this business so well later into my adulthood, but, uh,
605
00:28:13.410 --> 00:28:15.809
And for a while there, when I started, I was
606
00:28:15.990 --> 00:28:18.509
probably I was in my like mid to later 20s.
607
00:28:19.109 --> 00:28:22.069
And and I thought, oh, gosh, why did I do
608
00:28:22.089 --> 00:28:25.200
all those years of college? Like I could have started
609
00:28:25.259 --> 00:28:29.380
way earlier and, you know, but then as kind of
610
00:28:29.519 --> 00:28:31.240
I would do more and more and kind of get
611
00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:34.920
into comedy and get into and start working. I was
612
00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:37.650
just so thankful for for all those years.
613
00:28:37.869 --> 00:28:43.619
You also had a number of. very different kinds of jobs. Yeah.
614
00:28:43.819 --> 00:28:48.460
You were a night watchman in a museum? Yeah. Were
615
00:28:48.500 --> 00:28:50.500
you a good night watchman?
616
00:28:50.579 --> 00:28:53.140
I wasn't a night watchman, I was a security guard.
617
00:28:53.529 --> 00:28:56.710
I like saying night watch. I like the idea of
618
00:28:56.779 --> 00:29:00.359
you and you befriend a mouse who's also, you have
619
00:29:00.380 --> 00:29:03.079
a really long flashlight and you guys have adventures. I mean,
620
00:29:03.099 --> 00:29:05.799
if you don't mind me having that. Sure, okay, I
621
00:29:05.819 --> 00:29:08.700
was a night watchman. It was during the day.
622
00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:08.900
Uh-huh.
623
00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:16.299
At the Hammer Museum in LA. And you wore a
624
00:29:16.319 --> 00:29:20.720
sleep mask while you walked around, mashing into things. Sure, sure.
625
00:29:20.779 --> 00:29:24.640
Yeah, and my job was basically to like stand there
626
00:29:25.029 --> 00:29:28.930
pretty much. And if someone got too close to the painting,
627
00:29:28.970 --> 00:29:31.289
just tell them, hey, can you back away?
628
00:29:31.309 --> 00:29:37.089
And then that was it. That was pretty much it. Yeah.
629
00:29:37.730 --> 00:29:38.410
Yeah.
630
00:29:38.430 --> 00:29:40.650
So you were sort of like- someone whose job was
631
00:29:40.690 --> 00:29:42.539
to monitor at a prom, an adult.
632
00:29:42.890 --> 00:29:43.170
You too.
633
00:29:43.490 --> 00:29:46.579
You're a little close to the monitor there.
634
00:29:46.599 --> 00:29:46.680
Yeah.
635
00:29:46.740 --> 00:29:49.400
Back it up a little bit. Pretty, well, yeah, pretty much.
636
00:29:49.420 --> 00:29:52.599
Hands off the lower back. That was it.
637
00:29:52.660 --> 00:29:52.940
Yeah.
638
00:29:53.019 --> 00:29:55.180
I was hoping for like, you know, some kind of
639
00:29:55.710 --> 00:29:58.079
huge theft of something. Would you have done anything?
640
00:29:58.170 --> 00:29:58.390
No.
641
00:30:01.279 --> 00:30:04.740
No, but it would have been like. Would you have
642
00:30:04.759 --> 00:30:08.099
helped them? No, no, no, that edge is dragging. That's
643
00:30:08.119 --> 00:30:10.619
gonna hurt the frame. I'll get that edge. Probably. You
644
00:30:10.640 --> 00:30:13.970
get the front. And let's get this van go out
645
00:30:14.029 --> 00:30:16.190
of here. There you go, guys. All right, I think
646
00:30:16.210 --> 00:30:19.910
we got it. Yeah, yeah. Just keep the bungee cords.
647
00:30:19.930 --> 00:30:26.220
Those are yours to keep. You worked at a Starbucks.
648
00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:26.839
I did.
649
00:30:26.859 --> 00:30:26.970
I did.
650
00:30:28.039 --> 00:30:30.920
What's that gig like? It was the best. I loved it.
651
00:30:31.119 --> 00:30:35.789
I worked for a few years at the Starbucks in
652
00:30:35.809 --> 00:30:36.710
the Palisades.
653
00:30:37.349 --> 00:30:38.109
That's where they put me.
654
00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:42.579
And I remember just driving up there and sometimes famous
655
00:30:42.619 --> 00:30:44.880
people would come in. And, you know, at the time
656
00:30:44.940 --> 00:30:49.589
I was doing kind of comedy just for fun. And
657
00:30:49.950 --> 00:30:53.170
Brad Garrett came in one day. That's a very tall man. Yeah,
658
00:30:53.230 --> 00:30:53.829
very tall.
659
00:30:53.950 --> 00:30:56.650
And he left like a $ 20 tip. And I was like, oh,
660
00:30:56.690 --> 00:31:00.180
my gosh, that was like so cool, you know. Do
661
00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:02.339
you think he felt he probably felt because you recognized him,
662
00:31:02.380 --> 00:31:05.599
he had to leave a $ 20 tip. Maybe, maybe. That's
663
00:31:05.640 --> 00:31:09.640
the trap. That's the trap you're in. Because people go like, oh,
664
00:31:09.680 --> 00:31:11.420
that's so cool. It's Randall Park.
665
00:31:11.880 --> 00:31:12.059
Yeah.
666
00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:15.049
And, you know, in the old days, you could throw
667
00:31:15.089 --> 00:31:17.650
a couple of coins in there. That's right. That's right.
668
00:31:17.750 --> 00:31:19.910
Now I got to leave $ 20 every time.
669
00:31:20.049 --> 00:31:20.829
Yeah.
670
00:31:20.990 --> 00:31:23.549
I have a thing where I leave 20, but it's
671
00:31:23.609 --> 00:31:24.410
on a fishing line.
672
00:31:24.509 --> 00:31:25.230
Oh, my God.
673
00:31:25.309 --> 00:31:29.450
Okay. And so I get, they get that initial burst
674
00:31:30.349 --> 00:31:32.809
of like, Conan seems like, wow, at 20, that's pretty good.
675
00:31:32.829 --> 00:31:34.829
He just, you know, he didn't really get, he just
676
00:31:34.849 --> 00:31:36.759
got a water and he gave me a 20. Yeah.
677
00:31:36.890 --> 00:31:39.480
And then I'm outside the store and I wait until
678
00:31:39.500 --> 00:31:42.400
their back is turned and I whip the 20 away.
679
00:31:43.019 --> 00:31:45.059
And then I watch them accuse others in the store
680
00:31:45.099 --> 00:31:48.039
of stealing it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I've
681
00:31:48.059 --> 00:31:49.720
been eating the same 20 since 1993. Yeah.
682
00:31:51.809 --> 00:31:55.490
So ordering waters all over the country, coffee shops all
683
00:31:55.549 --> 00:31:56.569
over the country.
684
00:31:56.910 --> 00:31:58.750
I don't even want the stuff I'm ordering there half
685
00:31:58.789 --> 00:32:01.980
the time, but I just want to make a good impression.
686
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:06.579
And then I want my 20 back. When did you
687
00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:09.009
know that you were funny? Were you funny for your
688
00:32:09.049 --> 00:32:12.869
friends early on? Yeah, yeah, I think so.
689
00:32:12.910 --> 00:32:14.769
I was, you know, I was kind of, I wouldn't
690
00:32:14.789 --> 00:32:17.549
say I was the class clown necessarily, but, you know.
691
00:32:17.569 --> 00:32:19.950
I have no, I'm not a fan of the class clown.
692
00:32:19.970 --> 00:32:20.349
Oh, really?
693
00:32:20.390 --> 00:32:22.009
No, no, I was not the class clown either.
694
00:32:22.029 --> 00:32:22.109
Yeah.
695
00:32:22.690 --> 00:32:25.289
I was, I'm suspicious of the class clown.
696
00:32:25.329 --> 00:32:25.670
Yes.
697
00:32:25.849 --> 00:32:29.750
But the guy who's just killing it in fourth grade.
698
00:32:29.769 --> 00:32:30.329
Yeah.
699
00:32:30.349 --> 00:32:36.140
Because he's, you know, setting the clock forward. and throwing
700
00:32:36.180 --> 00:32:39.640
things out the window. I don't think most of them
701
00:32:39.700 --> 00:32:42.250
go on I don't think so. To an entertainment career.
702
00:32:42.349 --> 00:32:43.690
Yeah, yeah.
703
00:32:44.630 --> 00:32:46.480
I was a class clown in the sixth grade.
704
00:32:46.519 --> 00:32:49.000
Were you really? You were the class clown?
705
00:32:49.059 --> 00:32:49.519
I know.
706
00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:51.380
What were some of your antics?
707
00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:52.579
I don't even remember.
708
00:32:52.759 --> 00:32:53.599
I truly don't.
709
00:32:53.740 --> 00:32:56.759
I don't know. I don't remember being clownish.
710
00:32:56.960 --> 00:32:57.240
I don't.
711
00:32:57.359 --> 00:32:58.740
I mean, maybe they were just- Wait, were you the
712
00:32:58.789 --> 00:32:59.569
class clown?
713
00:32:59.650 --> 00:33:00.670
I was, yeah, I was.
714
00:33:00.690 --> 00:33:02.670
But you don't remember doing anything class clownish?
715
00:33:02.950 --> 00:33:03.630
No, I don't.
716
00:33:03.690 --> 00:33:05.829
Wait, was this just from people telling you you were
717
00:33:05.869 --> 00:33:06.410
the class clown?
718
00:33:06.430 --> 00:33:08.670
No, I was in the yearbook as the class clown.
719
00:33:09.240 --> 00:33:12.119
You probably did things like you switched. They probably had
720
00:33:12.240 --> 00:33:14.809
all the presidents in order and you like... I put
721
00:33:15.089 --> 00:33:16.849
Eisenhower before FDR.
722
00:33:16.869 --> 00:33:18.150
Yeah, just those two.
723
00:33:18.170 --> 00:33:19.890
Giggle.
724
00:33:19.910 --> 00:33:20.349
Snort.
725
00:33:21.630 --> 00:33:25.390
Eisenhower before Franklin Roosevelt. I don't think so.
726
00:33:25.930 --> 00:33:28.519
Listen, I'm not proud because I actually agree with you.
727
00:33:28.539 --> 00:33:30.099
And I think I look back at that period of
728
00:33:30.140 --> 00:33:31.920
my life as something to forget. So I'm glad I
729
00:33:31.940 --> 00:33:32.400
brought it up.
730
00:33:32.500 --> 00:33:36.279
Listen, you have done well. You are... I don't think...
731
00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:38.779
I think a mistake was made. I think a clerical
732
00:33:38.849 --> 00:33:39.420
error was made.
733
00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:40.049
It might have been.
734
00:33:40.089 --> 00:33:41.630
You were not the class clown or else you were
735
00:33:41.670 --> 00:33:47.109
in an environment that was so staid. So by their standards,
736
00:33:47.130 --> 00:33:50.789
you were the class clown. Yeah. But- Yeah, you don't
737
00:33:50.849 --> 00:33:54.180
strike me as the type that would- I've been through
738
00:33:54.200 --> 00:33:58.519
a lot. I think- I really do think most class
739
00:33:58.559 --> 00:34:02.579
clowns are beaten to death in prison. Well, I had
740
00:34:02.619 --> 00:34:03.319
that phase too.
741
00:34:03.359 --> 00:34:04.420
I know.
742
00:34:04.460 --> 00:34:07.619
Man, I tried. I got into prison just to kill you.
743
00:34:07.640 --> 00:34:13.340
It's one of those movie plots. But I'm, I don't know. Yeah,
744
00:34:13.429 --> 00:34:13.780
I see.
745
00:34:13.800 --> 00:34:16.809
Yeah, I could see a lot of class clowns becoming
746
00:34:16.869 --> 00:34:19.329
like going into finance and stuff like that.
747
00:34:19.570 --> 00:34:22.630
Yes, right. And then just playing pranks with our financial assistance.
748
00:34:23.139 --> 00:34:28.610
That's right. I destroyed a whole region of the country
749
00:34:28.619 --> 00:34:31.730
and I got a massive house in Long Island out
750
00:34:31.750 --> 00:34:36.150
of it. Yeah, pretty much. No, I'm not. I think
751
00:34:36.210 --> 00:34:41.610
there's something about people that are sensitive and even somewhat
752
00:34:41.670 --> 00:34:45.579
naturally shy who have to overcome, who there's like comedy
753
00:34:45.860 --> 00:34:49.900
percolating in there. and it needs to overcome that barrier.
754
00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:52.699
And I think that that's sort of important. And those
755
00:34:52.760 --> 00:34:56.019
are some of my favorite people in comedy who I've met,
756
00:34:56.159 --> 00:35:00.119
I know were not, they were, you know, I think
757
00:35:00.139 --> 00:35:04.570
they were with their friends. I was definitely shy.
758
00:35:04.590 --> 00:35:08.989
I was very shy growing up to this day, but
759
00:35:10.130 --> 00:35:12.449
amongst my friends and people who I felt comfortable with,
760
00:35:13.309 --> 00:35:14.269
very wacky.
761
00:35:14.469 --> 00:35:17.230
What was your first commercial that you did? Oh, that's right.
762
00:35:18.159 --> 00:35:20.039
It was a, it was a commercial.
763
00:35:20.119 --> 00:35:22.920
It was on the, the, you know, channel 18 in LA,
764
00:35:22.940 --> 00:35:26.039
which is kind of like the, the Asian channel where
765
00:35:26.059 --> 00:35:27.079
they do like shows.
766
00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:32.050
That's where I got my start. Yeah. My first talk show. No,
767
00:35:32.050 --> 00:35:36.530
it was actually my fifth talk show. I killed it,
768
00:35:36.809 --> 00:35:37.230
by the way.
769
00:35:37.289 --> 00:35:37.849
They loved me.
770
00:35:37.869 --> 00:35:42.940
They didn't understand a word. They really thought it was great.
771
00:35:43.079 --> 00:35:43.380
Yeah.
772
00:35:43.460 --> 00:35:48.139
It was a commercial for that network. non-union, it was
773
00:35:48.179 --> 00:35:50.360
for these Chinese liver pills.
774
00:35:50.500 --> 00:35:51.179
Oh my God.
775
00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:53.860
Yeah, I don't know, I actually don't know what exactly
776
00:35:53.889 --> 00:35:55.889
it was for, because I don't understand Chinese.
777
00:35:56.969 --> 00:36:00.889
Oh, so the ad was in- It was in Chinese.
778
00:36:00.929 --> 00:36:04.269
Was in Chinese, and so you don't even know, you
779
00:36:06.070 --> 00:36:08.880
think they were liver pills. I think they were, it's
780
00:36:08.929 --> 00:36:12.960
because someone might've told me that. Are you sure that
781
00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:14.639
maybe it wasn't something more nefarious?
782
00:36:15.699 --> 00:36:16.119
I don't know.
783
00:36:16.630 --> 00:36:17.030
I don't know.
784
00:36:17.050 --> 00:36:19.230
It's not your responsibility to know. No, I just needed
785
00:36:19.269 --> 00:36:22.809
the money. Yeah, and in the commercial, I just play
786
00:36:22.829 --> 00:36:25.389
this dad who comes home tired, and then the kid
787
00:36:25.409 --> 00:36:28.090
is like, oh, let me get my dad these pills,
788
00:36:28.139 --> 00:36:28.960
which is kind of weird.
789
00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:29.960
What?
790
00:36:32.159 --> 00:36:34.059
I know what my dad needs. How old are you?
791
00:36:34.300 --> 00:36:34.659
Four.
792
00:36:36.940 --> 00:36:39.059
Here's a pill I got from a commercial that I
793
00:36:39.219 --> 00:36:42.070
didn't understand. And then the kid.
794
00:36:43.030 --> 00:36:45.610
shoves the pills down my throat. He shoves them in
795
00:36:45.630 --> 00:36:46.010
your mouth?
796
00:36:46.070 --> 00:36:46.409
No, no.
797
00:36:46.409 --> 00:36:47.429
Okay, all right.
798
00:36:47.969 --> 00:36:49.929
But the kid, you know, the kid gets the idea
799
00:36:49.969 --> 00:36:53.269
of giving me these pills, and then all of a sudden,
800
00:36:53.630 --> 00:36:55.309
cut to I'm energetic, and.
801
00:36:55.250 --> 00:36:57.369
Now I'm playing with him. That was the commercial.
802
00:36:57.429 --> 00:36:58.090
Yeah, yeah.
803
00:36:58.210 --> 00:37:00.829
Well, he gave you, I think, definitely an amphetamine.
804
00:37:00.949 --> 00:37:02.309
Yeah, for sure.
805
00:37:02.349 --> 00:37:08.309
He gave you a strong, powerful dose of amphetamine.
806
00:37:08.730 --> 00:37:09.090
That was nice.
807
00:37:09.630 --> 00:37:12.800
Not a liver pill. Is a liver pill, does it
808
00:37:12.860 --> 00:37:14.380
treat your liver or is it made of liver?
809
00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:15.139
Yeah, good question.
810
00:37:15.159 --> 00:37:17.639
I have no, I don't know. Wow, you're a responsible
811
00:37:17.659 --> 00:37:21.400
guy when you do that, aren't you? Hello, I'm not
812
00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:24.880
sure what this is, but inject this into your heart immediately.
813
00:37:25.500 --> 00:37:28.489
This is Randall Park saying, you can trust me. I
814
00:37:31.150 --> 00:37:32.269
made like $ 120. Seriously?
815
00:37:32.309 --> 00:37:35.849
Yeah, something like, it was a very, very, I mean,
816
00:37:35.869 --> 00:37:37.849
but to me at the time, that was like, oh God.
817
00:37:37.889 --> 00:37:39.809
How many people did, you indirectly kill.
818
00:37:39.849 --> 00:37:45.389
We're doing the research now. They say it's in the
819
00:37:45.429 --> 00:37:47.849
tens of thousands.
820
00:37:49.679 --> 00:37:51.079
You sure you weren't class class?
821
00:37:51.139 --> 00:37:51.860
Yeah.
822
00:37:52.840 --> 00:37:53.119
True.
823
00:37:53.500 --> 00:37:53.739
True.
824
00:37:55.599 --> 00:38:01.079
I love any class clown that uses drugs purchased illegally,
825
00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:05.599
tricking people into eating them. You were a graphic designer. Yeah,
826
00:38:05.760 --> 00:38:08.570
that's right. You wouldn't maybe know that from looking at
827
00:38:08.590 --> 00:38:12.190
the portrait of me, but you did that for a
828
00:38:12.210 --> 00:38:12.670
number of years.
829
00:38:12.710 --> 00:38:13.230
I did, I did.
830
00:38:13.289 --> 00:38:16.670
And you worked for some interesting projects. Well, no, I mean,
831
00:38:16.690 --> 00:38:17.190
I worked.
832
00:38:17.070 --> 00:38:20.130
For, you know, I think they still have them, the
833
00:38:20.170 --> 00:38:22.449
weekly kind of free, you know, like LA Weekly, the
834
00:38:22.469 --> 00:38:25.059
free kind of. in the kiosk, you just grab, you know,
835
00:38:25.079 --> 00:38:28.860
and then in the back section of those weeklies were
836
00:38:29.460 --> 00:38:33.719
the ads for, you know, escorts. Oh yeah, I'm quite familiar.
837
00:38:34.079 --> 00:38:37.659
You know, you know. Sure, I do know actually. Yeah,
838
00:38:37.679 --> 00:38:45.170
I've seen your ad. I will date you and then
839
00:38:45.230 --> 00:38:49.630
give you a liver pill. Not in that order.
840
00:38:49.650 --> 00:38:51.989
But yeah, I was in charge of, they put me
841
00:38:52.030 --> 00:38:54.849
in charge of kind of building those ads for- So
842
00:38:55.210 --> 00:38:58.809
is it just arranging, aren't they mostly, not that I, again,
843
00:38:58.829 --> 00:39:03.000
I haven't studied them closely, but photographs and then numbers
844
00:39:03.039 --> 00:39:03.500
to call.
845
00:39:03.659 --> 00:39:04.460
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
846
00:39:04.539 --> 00:39:07.619
And then like a, you know, like a backdoor action,
847
00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:10.820
you know, like things, things like kind of- A tagline.
848
00:39:10.840 --> 00:39:13.179
That say it without saying it, you know, you know.
849
00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:16.380
I'm lost. I don't know what you're talking about. You
850
00:39:16.400 --> 00:39:18.769
got to spell this out for me. Like anal sex.
851
00:39:20.210 --> 00:39:20.570
Okay.
852
00:39:20.889 --> 00:39:22.409
So they meet you at the back door of their
853
00:39:22.449 --> 00:39:24.570
house- and then you have anal sex.
854
00:39:24.780 --> 00:39:25.110
Yeah.
855
00:39:26.019 --> 00:39:28.119
Should I just stop asking? Just stop.
856
00:39:28.599 --> 00:39:28.699
Okay.
857
00:39:28.840 --> 00:39:29.360
All right.
858
00:39:29.800 --> 00:39:32.639
But yeah, so I would, you know, build these ads and, and,
859
00:39:33.699 --> 00:39:37.449
and people, I guess pimps would come in and give
860
00:39:37.550 --> 00:39:40.690
photos of, and I'd have to scan the photos.
861
00:39:40.789 --> 00:39:43.250
So the pimps would come in and say, who do
862
00:39:43.269 --> 00:39:45.050
I speak to? And they'd say, Randall over there. And
863
00:39:45.070 --> 00:39:47.869
you'd be like, oh, hey, how are you? Pretty much,
864
00:39:47.889 --> 00:39:50.889
you know, managers, I guess, you know, stuff like that. Yeah,
865
00:39:50.949 --> 00:39:52.309
a pimp might be a derogatory term.
866
00:39:52.369 --> 00:39:52.829
Yeah, yeah.
867
00:39:52.869 --> 00:39:53.510
Yeah, I don't know.
868
00:39:53.570 --> 00:39:54.880
I don't want to, and listen.
869
00:39:54.949 --> 00:39:56.159
You guys are looking at me like.
870
00:39:56.179 --> 00:39:57.480
Oh, please.
871
00:39:57.659 --> 00:39:59.639
You were a pimp for a while. But it was, yeah,
872
00:39:59.719 --> 00:40:02.619
it was. Only for, yeah, prostitutes dressed as late 19th
873
00:40:02.639 --> 00:40:07.500
century heiresses. And then other times we'd use, and then
874
00:40:07.579 --> 00:40:10.380
other times we'd use, we'd use a stock photos, like
875
00:40:10.440 --> 00:40:16.320
just like royalty free, like stock photos of these poor models. Like, yeah, uh,
876
00:40:16.760 --> 00:40:20.099
it was not a good job. I got an early gig. Uh,
877
00:40:20.159 --> 00:40:24.719
I had some, um, very stupid early jobs. Um, one
878
00:40:24.760 --> 00:40:28.150
was I was hired because someone had seen me do improv, uh,
879
00:40:28.230 --> 00:40:30.829
maybe at the groundlings, but they, they said, and I
880
00:40:30.869 --> 00:40:32.969
just wanted to do anything to get experience. So they
881
00:40:33.010 --> 00:40:36.530
said that, uh, come and you can improvise, you can
882
00:40:36.570 --> 00:40:40.699
be the guy. It was to sell musical instruments. And
883
00:40:40.739 --> 00:40:44.599
it was for some national association of musical instrument sellers.
884
00:40:44.699 --> 00:40:46.980
And they said, we want you to get, you're the
885
00:40:47.260 --> 00:40:50.400
guy selling instruments at the store. who says too much,
886
00:40:50.420 --> 00:40:54.059
you're too pushy, you're too bossy. And basically I realized
887
00:40:54.139 --> 00:40:56.440
they hired me because they said, just improvise it, that
888
00:40:56.460 --> 00:40:58.659
way they didn't have to have a script. So I
889
00:40:58.699 --> 00:41:00.760
was the guy who someone came in as the customer.
890
00:41:01.030 --> 00:41:02.969
So there was a guy, a very handsome man who said,
891
00:41:03.289 --> 00:41:05.809
but remember when selling, you know, musical instruments at your store,
892
00:41:05.869 --> 00:41:08.030
you don't want to be too nosy, or I mean,
893
00:41:08.530 --> 00:41:11.880
you don't want to be too Gabby like this salesman.
894
00:41:12.099 --> 00:41:14.079
And then he would step away and I'd, A guy
895
00:41:14.099 --> 00:41:15.780
would go up and go, I'm thinking of buying a
896
00:41:15.860 --> 00:41:18.219
Moog synthesizer. And I'd say, oh, well, you know, you
897
00:41:18.250 --> 00:41:20.949
want the cord? And I would say all this stuff
898
00:41:20.969 --> 00:41:23.530
that I was just making up. And I remembered the
899
00:41:23.550 --> 00:41:28.320
job paid absolutely nothing, like next to nothing. and they
900
00:41:28.360 --> 00:41:31.059
told me, bring your own makeup. I didn't even have makeup,
901
00:41:31.099 --> 00:41:34.860
so I went to a drugstore and bought, basically just
902
00:41:35.059 --> 00:41:38.619
asked for a paste that would make me look less
903
00:41:38.739 --> 00:41:43.679
white and did it myself in my crappy car in
904
00:41:44.119 --> 00:41:48.380
a really hot parking lot and just walked in looking
905
00:41:48.400 --> 00:41:53.239
like a burn victim. And then another thing that I
906
00:41:53.460 --> 00:41:56.769
remembered recently is a friend of mine had to, he
907
00:41:56.789 --> 00:41:58.750
was in charge of putting together a poster for like
908
00:41:58.789 --> 00:42:03.929
a slasher film. Yeah. And there's a standard thing we've
909
00:42:04.010 --> 00:42:07.400
all seen a million times on slasher films where it's
910
00:42:07.559 --> 00:42:10.210
a woman- She's almost in a silhouette.
911
00:42:10.230 --> 00:42:10.650
Yes, yes.
912
00:42:10.730 --> 00:42:14.539
And she's clearly taking off her bra and panties behind.
913
00:42:14.559 --> 00:42:18.820
But then there's the shadow of the creep in the
914
00:42:18.880 --> 00:42:24.170
background who's holding a gun. And I'm that shadow. What?
915
00:42:24.349 --> 00:42:25.550
I wanna know what movie this is.
916
00:42:25.570 --> 00:42:26.130
I'm dying to know.
917
00:42:26.150 --> 00:42:29.929
We can find out, because I'm still good friends. My
918
00:42:29.989 --> 00:42:34.880
friend will tell me and we'll find it, but I'm
919
00:42:34.900 --> 00:42:38.000
a creepy shadow that's looking at a woman who for
920
00:42:38.059 --> 00:42:41.699
some reason is standing directly in front of a window
921
00:42:41.739 --> 00:42:45.039
and is starting to undress. But I have a very,
922
00:42:45.059 --> 00:42:47.239
you know, I have a distinctive profile.
923
00:42:47.260 --> 00:42:47.659
Yeah.
924
00:42:47.969 --> 00:42:51.550
And I remember doing that and We all do these things.
925
00:42:51.630 --> 00:42:54.769
We do these things just to- I did a bunch
926
00:42:54.869 --> 00:42:58.829
of workplace training videos, you know, like those.
927
00:42:58.869 --> 00:43:01.730
That sounds like what I did, yeah. To this day, yeah.
928
00:43:01.769 --> 00:43:06.760
And to this, like harassment or bullying, you know, different,
929
00:43:06.840 --> 00:43:09.880
different themes. And to this day, they still show them.
930
00:43:09.920 --> 00:43:12.500
And people will like reach out and tell me like,
931
00:43:12.739 --> 00:43:16.940
hey- I just saw you in our workplace training video.
932
00:43:17.340 --> 00:43:20.170
Now, did you get to be, because I liked being,
933
00:43:20.190 --> 00:43:22.630
I got to do both. They would say, here's the
934
00:43:22.670 --> 00:43:24.530
wrong way. And I would be the too nosy and
935
00:43:24.570 --> 00:43:28.969
too pushy. and too filled with information that just overwhelmed
936
00:43:28.989 --> 00:43:30.570
the guy and the customer would go like, I just
937
00:43:30.590 --> 00:43:33.440
can't handle this and would walk away. And then the
938
00:43:33.480 --> 00:43:36.019
handsome guy would step in and say, maybe this is
939
00:43:36.059 --> 00:43:37.840
the way to do it. And then I'd say, well,
940
00:43:37.880 --> 00:43:39.059
tell me what you're looking for. And that would be
941
00:43:39.079 --> 00:43:40.820
the reasonable guy. Did you ever get to be the
942
00:43:40.840 --> 00:43:42.659
bad guy? Both, both.
943
00:43:42.780 --> 00:43:43.519
Yeah, yeah.
944
00:43:43.800 --> 00:43:45.769
I mean, I was in one, I was.
945
00:43:47.269 --> 00:43:51.090
Being sexually harassed, which was interesting. Yeah, it was like,
946
00:43:51.409 --> 00:43:54.329
and then in another, I was a bully.
947
00:43:54.469 --> 00:43:55.550
What kind of things were you saying?
948
00:43:56.670 --> 00:44:01.019
Just snide comments, you know, in the break room. Okay,
949
00:44:01.059 --> 00:44:03.679
shut up.
950
00:44:03.719 --> 00:44:07.019
Poorly. You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna watch
951
00:44:07.980 --> 00:44:11.010
Randall's video. We're gonna look it up. We're gonna watch
952
00:44:11.050 --> 00:44:14.690
his video about bullying, and it's probably gonna be stuff
953
00:44:14.710 --> 00:44:18.250
that is... I'm regularly, my dial is on 10 and
954
00:44:18.269 --> 00:44:19.230
you're probably on two.
955
00:44:19.329 --> 00:44:19.570
Yeah.
956
00:44:19.590 --> 00:44:21.070
Do you know what I mean? You're probably just saying
957
00:44:21.090 --> 00:44:23.650
things like, hey, come on, get the lead out. Let's
958
00:44:23.710 --> 00:44:27.969
move it. We got, and then, Gorley's watching it thinking,
959
00:44:28.030 --> 00:44:30.320
this is nothing. You guys good, you guys good.
960
00:44:30.340 --> 00:44:30.880
This is nothing.
961
00:44:35.059 --> 00:44:37.019
But you loved TV growing up as a kid, right?
962
00:44:37.039 --> 00:44:37.559
Yeah, I did, I did.
963
00:44:37.579 --> 00:44:38.139
TV was huge for you.
964
00:44:38.179 --> 00:44:40.480
Oh my gosh, TV was huge. Late night was huge.
965
00:44:40.500 --> 00:44:42.659
You were huge, you know? I mean, well, I was older,
966
00:44:42.719 --> 00:44:43.659
but totally.
967
00:44:43.679 --> 00:44:45.039
What were you watching when you were a kid that
968
00:44:45.059 --> 00:44:47.590
you really loved? Oh my gosh, I mean, I was-
969
00:44:47.610 --> 00:44:50.650
Besides late night. I was big on sitcoms.
970
00:44:50.929 --> 00:44:54.489
Just, you know, I grew up sitting in front of
971
00:44:54.530 --> 00:45:00.010
a TV, you know? just all the sitcoms. I knew
972
00:45:00.030 --> 00:45:02.769
the TV Guide, which was another thing back then.
973
00:45:03.590 --> 00:45:05.630
There used to be a magazine, a book that came
974
00:45:05.710 --> 00:45:09.210
out once a week that told you when things were on.
975
00:45:09.309 --> 00:45:09.610
Yeah.
976
00:45:09.789 --> 00:45:13.469
And it was more important than the Bible in most homes.
977
00:45:13.510 --> 00:45:15.409
It was the Bible. It was the Bible. I also
978
00:45:15.449 --> 00:45:18.559
looked to it for religious instruction.
979
00:45:18.699 --> 00:45:21.400
But yeah, that was, I mean, I memorized it, you know,
980
00:45:21.639 --> 00:45:23.719
every night I knew what was going to be on,
981
00:45:23.760 --> 00:45:25.659
what time, what it was going up against, you know.
982
00:45:26.110 --> 00:45:29.489
I mean, and I mostly sitcoms is what I'd watch,
983
00:45:29.710 --> 00:45:30.510
you know, I mean.
984
00:45:30.550 --> 00:45:32.309
Your era, I know you're younger than I am. So
985
00:45:32.329 --> 00:45:33.349
you're watching like what?
986
00:45:33.429 --> 00:45:34.010
Silver Spoons.
987
00:45:34.030 --> 00:45:37.369
Silver Spoons. Too Close for Comfort. Too Close for Comfort.
988
00:45:37.389 --> 00:45:37.469
Yeah.
989
00:45:39.210 --> 00:45:41.690
Family Ties. Yeah, Too Close for Comfort was a little
990
00:45:41.710 --> 00:45:45.599
before me, but I did watch that. Family Ties, New Heart.
991
00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:46.420
Yeah.
992
00:45:46.780 --> 00:45:49.840
Not the original one, but the Bed and Breakfast one,
993
00:45:50.500 --> 00:45:54.800
Cosby Show, Golden Girls, you know, all of them.
994
00:45:54.940 --> 00:45:56.679
You know what's interesting is that every show you just
995
00:45:56.719 --> 00:45:59.800
listed had laughter on it. Yeah. Meaning it was either
996
00:45:59.840 --> 00:46:03.320
shot before a live studio audience or it had. And
997
00:46:03.440 --> 00:46:06.500
it's so fascinating to me that there's a whole kind
998
00:46:06.539 --> 00:46:08.960
of comedy that young people who have grown up watching,
999
00:46:09.079 --> 00:46:13.900
I'm thinking of my kids, but there's no laugh track there.
1000
00:46:14.039 --> 00:46:14.260
Yeah.
1001
00:46:14.400 --> 00:46:16.679
There isn't that sense of like, I don't know. We're
1002
00:46:16.699 --> 00:46:19.380
all in this together. Yeah. Oh, I remember Happy Days
1003
00:46:19.400 --> 00:46:21.760
was a huge show when I was a kid. And
1004
00:46:21.800 --> 00:46:23.539
my best friend was Jake Fleischer.
1005
00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:23.510
And there was.
1006
00:46:24.730 --> 00:46:27.900
an episode where he was gonna, this is not the
1007
00:46:27.940 --> 00:46:30.030
famous jump the shark episode, but before that there was
1008
00:46:30.050 --> 00:46:32.230
an episode where he had to do some stunt on
1009
00:46:32.269 --> 00:46:37.179
his bicycle A motorcycle, bicycle. The Fonz had a bicycle.
1010
00:46:37.610 --> 00:46:39.760
This is before he got really cool. This is his unicycle. Yeah,
1011
00:46:39.780 --> 00:46:42.679
he was a very fit, this is a very fit,
1012
00:46:42.860 --> 00:46:47.679
aerobically in shape Fonz. No, he had to do some
1013
00:46:47.719 --> 00:46:49.420
kind of jump on his motorcycle. It was like the
1014
00:46:49.519 --> 00:46:52.050
first season of the show and everyone in school was
1015
00:46:52.110 --> 00:46:54.190
watching and I was in maybe fourth grade, fifth grade.
1016
00:46:54.210 --> 00:46:55.750
I don't know what I was in, but I didn't
1017
00:46:55.829 --> 00:46:58.050
get to see it. But my friend Jake Fleischer had
1018
00:46:58.110 --> 00:47:01.030
seen it because my parents wouldn't let me watch TV
1019
00:47:01.050 --> 00:47:05.280
on a school night. And the next day I ran
1020
00:47:05.380 --> 00:47:08.179
to Jake Fleischer's house. I remember as fast as I
1021
00:47:08.280 --> 00:47:12.360
could to have him explain to me, is the Fonz okay?
1022
00:47:12.380 --> 00:47:15.840
That's right. And today I would get on my computer.
1023
00:47:15.860 --> 00:47:19.489
First of all, my parents, they can't control what I'm watching.
1024
00:47:19.510 --> 00:47:22.409
If I'm streaming something on the computer, who knows?
1025
00:47:22.710 --> 00:47:25.909
This was back when- Well, back then, like a show
1026
00:47:26.070 --> 00:47:29.289
airs and you're like, You're never gonna see it again.
1027
00:47:29.329 --> 00:47:31.570
That's it. Ever. It's it, yeah. Or maybe it'll be
1028
00:47:31.610 --> 00:47:34.869
rerun over the summer. That's right, yeah. But chances are
1029
00:47:34.889 --> 00:47:36.530
you're not gonna, or you're gonna maybe see it in
1030
00:47:36.550 --> 00:47:40.190
a rerun in the spring, maybe, but it was, I
1031
00:47:40.409 --> 00:47:43.250
ran like a maniac, like my life depended on it,
1032
00:47:43.269 --> 00:47:45.769
and was pounding on Jake Fleischer's door like, what happened?
1033
00:47:45.829 --> 00:47:49.010
He said, he does get hurt and they, it's a
1034
00:47:49.030 --> 00:47:50.860
two-parter and he has to go to the hospital for
1035
00:47:50.880 --> 00:47:52.920
the next one, cause his leg is hurt. And I'm like, wow,
1036
00:47:54.139 --> 00:47:58.570
I'll be back. My dad used to, we weren't allowed
1037
00:47:58.590 --> 00:48:02.389
to watch TV on a school night. And if he
1038
00:48:02.449 --> 00:48:05.059
suspected that we were cheating, because we were always cheating,
1039
00:48:05.360 --> 00:48:08.079
he would rush in. We would hear him coming because
1040
00:48:08.099 --> 00:48:11.300
someone was on the lookout and we would scatter, turn
1041
00:48:11.320 --> 00:48:13.010
off the TV and scatter, but he would put his
1042
00:48:13.170 --> 00:48:16.050
hand on the TV set. And this is back when
1043
00:48:16.090 --> 00:48:19.820
TVs had a little bit of an electrical staticky, charge
1044
00:48:20.159 --> 00:48:22.280
that you could feel. And if he felt that charge,
1045
00:48:22.320 --> 00:48:26.460
he was like, get in here! You know, and it
1046
00:48:26.519 --> 00:48:27.019
was terrifying.
1047
00:48:27.059 --> 00:48:28.980
How did you see any TV if you couldn't watch
1048
00:48:29.019 --> 00:48:30.480
TV on a school night? That was when all the
1049
00:48:30.519 --> 00:48:32.760
good shows were on. I got better at cheating. We
1050
00:48:32.840 --> 00:48:35.219
got better at cheating. But I missed out on some
1051
00:48:35.260 --> 00:48:36.059
really good stuff.
1052
00:48:36.079 --> 00:48:38.969
Sounds like it. But one of the advantages is that
1053
00:48:39.010 --> 00:48:42.800
my father was really into classic comedy. So he would
1054
00:48:42.900 --> 00:48:45.800
make sure that I saw, he took me to a movie,
1055
00:48:45.840 --> 00:48:47.480
which was 10 from your show of shows, which was
1056
00:48:47.539 --> 00:48:49.960
all of Sid Caesar's best sketches. Oh, wow. And he
1057
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:51.139
took me to the movie theater. He took me to
1058
00:48:51.159 --> 00:48:53.960
see Chaplin. He took me to see Laurel and Hardy.
1059
00:48:54.360 --> 00:48:57.679
He made sure that I had this great foundation, which
1060
00:48:57.699 --> 00:49:00.949
is why I really fought hard for. our late night
1061
00:49:00.969 --> 00:49:05.130
show to be shot in black and white. And to
1062
00:49:05.150 --> 00:49:10.679
mostly involve pratfalls. But I lost that one. It's just
1063
00:49:10.699 --> 00:49:16.530
so funny to me that it's, cause you have a show, Blockbuster. Yeah.
1064
00:49:16.710 --> 00:49:19.309
And this show Blockbuster, which is, it's a great concept
1065
00:49:19.349 --> 00:49:22.820
by the way. You have, you are running, you find
1066
00:49:22.980 --> 00:49:25.639
out that they've just closed like seven Blockbusters, so you
1067
00:49:25.780 --> 00:49:28.170
are- The last. The last Blockbuster.
1068
00:49:28.210 --> 00:49:28.389
Yeah.
1069
00:49:28.449 --> 00:49:30.510
And it really does have the feeling of the Alamo,
1070
00:49:30.530 --> 00:49:35.550
you know, that- You know, we've lost this wonderful time.
1071
00:49:35.570 --> 00:49:35.650
Yeah.
1072
00:49:36.250 --> 00:49:38.289
What a golden era it was when everyone went to
1073
00:49:38.309 --> 00:49:39.670
the blockbuster. Oh my gosh, yeah. And you guys are
1074
00:49:39.730 --> 00:49:41.650
the last one. Last one, that's right.
1075
00:49:42.090 --> 00:49:47.670
And you have a terrific cast. Incredible cast. JB, Melissa, Fumero.
1076
00:49:48.050 --> 00:49:50.150
I mean, it's just heavy hitters, yeah.
1077
00:49:50.190 --> 00:49:54.239
Yeah, and I, first of all, I've, JB Smoove has,
1078
00:49:54.699 --> 00:49:55.980
you know, I met him when he first came on
1079
00:49:56.019 --> 00:49:56.420
our show.
1080
00:49:56.440 --> 00:49:57.260
Yeah.
1081
00:49:57.320 --> 00:49:59.420
Years ago, I think he was a writer on SNL.
1082
00:49:59.460 --> 00:50:02.650
I know, yeah. He would come down and do our show.
1083
00:50:02.670 --> 00:50:05.349
And this is before I think he was really known
1084
00:50:05.389 --> 00:50:07.409
and he was just, and before he did Curb Your
1085
00:50:07.429 --> 00:50:12.130
Enthusiasm and he was so instantly funny right away. He's so,
1086
00:50:13.110 --> 00:50:15.150
he's so himself. Yes. And distinct.
1087
00:50:15.510 --> 00:50:15.750
Yeah.
1088
00:50:15.929 --> 00:50:18.650
I ask him about SNL all the time and cause I'm,
1089
00:50:18.969 --> 00:50:22.739
anyone who's touched SNL, I'm just so fascinated, you know?
1090
00:50:22.860 --> 00:50:26.619
And he was telling me how, like during the, I
1091
00:50:26.639 --> 00:50:29.619
guess the table reads how he would just kill.
1092
00:50:29.840 --> 00:50:30.079
Yes.
1093
00:50:30.519 --> 00:50:31.260
Every time.
1094
00:50:31.280 --> 00:50:31.360
Yep.
1095
00:50:31.969 --> 00:50:34.369
Just put on a show. And I was like, did
1096
00:50:34.389 --> 00:50:36.630
you get any, like, did any sketches get on?
1097
00:50:36.650 --> 00:50:36.989
He was like, no.
1098
00:50:37.030 --> 00:50:42.699
No, no, he also, he's famous at Saturday Night Live for,
1099
00:50:43.010 --> 00:50:45.949
there's a meeting that we used to have that's always
1100
00:50:45.969 --> 00:50:48.260
been part of the drill there, which is Monday night.
1101
00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:51.239
Monday's a slow day. But then what happens is they
1102
00:50:51.260 --> 00:50:54.119
bring the host in, like it's seven o'clock at night.
1103
00:50:54.719 --> 00:50:56.800
So the host would come in and they sit in
1104
00:50:56.840 --> 00:50:59.980
Lauren's office. So Lauren sits behind his desk. and the
1105
00:51:00.019 --> 00:51:01.900
host sits in a chair and the rest of us
1106
00:51:02.559 --> 00:51:06.119
kind of sit on the floor. And then you go
1107
00:51:06.139 --> 00:51:09.469
around the room and it's all to make the host
1108
00:51:09.530 --> 00:51:13.630
feel better. And if the host has something to say like, hey,
1109
00:51:13.670 --> 00:51:15.289
I might like to do something where I water ski,
1110
00:51:16.349 --> 00:51:17.570
or I had an idea for this or I had
1111
00:51:17.590 --> 00:51:21.170
an idea for that, but it's all theater. And sometimes
1112
00:51:21.210 --> 00:51:25.489
ideas get pitched in there that end up on the show. JB,
1113
00:51:25.510 --> 00:51:28.659
I was not there at the same time as JB,
1114
00:51:28.699 --> 00:51:33.429
but he became famous for telling these elaborate crazy stories
1115
00:51:33.869 --> 00:51:36.849
about the sketch that would destroy. I mean, the host
1116
00:51:36.929 --> 00:51:39.730
is saying, oh my God, Lady Gaga is saying, this
1117
00:51:39.809 --> 00:51:42.050
is amazing. I can't wait to do this. And then
1118
00:51:42.090 --> 00:51:45.940
he would never write it up.
1119
00:51:45.969 --> 00:51:46.969
It was just theater.
1120
00:51:47.050 --> 00:51:50.000
He was also such an out of the box thinker.
1121
00:51:51.170 --> 00:51:53.889
Like I could see a lot of his like ideas
1122
00:51:53.969 --> 00:51:57.250
just being, you know, like, how do we do that?
1123
00:51:57.369 --> 00:51:58.730
You know, it's hilarious.
1124
00:51:58.909 --> 00:51:59.130
Right.
1125
00:51:59.349 --> 00:52:02.050
But how do we do, you know. I can, I
1126
00:52:02.090 --> 00:52:05.590
also imagine if you're on set as you are with
1127
00:52:05.769 --> 00:52:09.590
JB and you're shooting this show, Black Buster, that he
1128
00:52:09.650 --> 00:52:13.590
is always himself. Oh, always. Always doing bits. Always being
1129
00:52:13.630 --> 00:52:15.690
JV Smooth. And I don't care if you're doing a
1130
00:52:15.789 --> 00:52:18.570
night shoot and it's four in the morning and the
1131
00:52:18.590 --> 00:52:21.550
craft service food was bad and everyone's in a bad mood.
1132
00:52:21.570 --> 00:52:25.889
He'll be doing his shtick. Yes, yes, for sure, for sure.
1133
00:52:25.969 --> 00:52:29.190
And I remember us shooting like real late. We were
1134
00:52:29.210 --> 00:52:33.190
in a party. His character plays a manager of a
1135
00:52:33.230 --> 00:52:37.030
party store and we're in this party store till really late.
1136
00:52:37.050 --> 00:52:38.489
It must have been four in the morning. And he
1137
00:52:38.510 --> 00:52:46.820
starts going, Just hissing, just hissing like a cat. And
1138
00:52:47.019 --> 00:52:53.150
we're just rolling, dying. And he just keeps doing it.
1139
00:52:53.500 --> 00:52:53.739
Sure.
1140
00:52:53.800 --> 00:53:00.590
All night. And he's a man after my own heart. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's,
1141
00:53:00.610 --> 00:53:04.650
I don't know what that is. That's almost like metabolic comedy.
1142
00:53:04.690 --> 00:53:04.829
Yeah.
1143
00:53:04.869 --> 00:53:07.690
That's comedy because either just too much sugar hit you.
1144
00:53:08.969 --> 00:53:11.690
It's happening on a chemical level. Oh, for sure, for sure.
1145
00:53:11.710 --> 00:53:13.989
And it's hitting us at a chemical level. It's just like,
1146
00:53:14.070 --> 00:53:16.849
he's just, he's a genius and we love him. You have,
1147
00:53:16.869 --> 00:53:19.610
cause this is a really funny idea for a show.
1148
00:53:20.030 --> 00:53:23.610
You are, and you're so good at being beleaguered. You know,
1149
00:53:23.690 --> 00:53:27.179
you really are. You have, you're such a great, a
1150
00:53:27.559 --> 00:53:34.159
dry comedic performer that you patiently, that your mission is so,
1151
00:53:35.320 --> 00:53:38.360
it's like Don Quixote, it's such a foolish mission, but
1152
00:53:38.400 --> 00:53:42.090
you're so funny at, I need to take, this is
1153
00:53:42.230 --> 00:53:46.510
very important that we keep this blockbuster going. And the
1154
00:53:46.570 --> 00:53:48.889
weight of the world is on your shoulders. It's biblical.
1155
00:53:48.949 --> 00:53:52.389
It's like Job. It's everything. It's an impossible task, but
1156
00:53:53.110 --> 00:53:56.119
you're just rolling up your sleeves and you're gonna, and
1157
00:53:56.139 --> 00:53:57.960
I think that's such a funny, that's such a great
1158
00:53:58.000 --> 00:54:02.500
kind of comedy. Oh, I appreciate that. Yeah, I don't know. It's,
1159
00:54:02.860 --> 00:54:03.239
I think.
1160
00:54:04.280 --> 00:54:07.750
Yeah, that's just kind of what comes most kind of
1161
00:54:07.949 --> 00:54:10.710
easily to me. I think everybody has their thing that
1162
00:54:10.789 --> 00:54:13.289
kind of comes easily to them. And I feel like
1163
00:54:13.829 --> 00:54:18.179
something about my life is very beleaguered, I guess.
1164
00:54:21.280 --> 00:54:26.380
Yeah, beleaguered. You also have this terrible task. You're in
1165
00:54:26.400 --> 00:54:29.940
this awkward position of being an increasingly more and more
1166
00:54:29.980 --> 00:54:34.349
important part of the Marvel world. But as Agent Jimmy Woo,
1167
00:54:34.369 --> 00:54:37.489
but you're also in the DC world, that must be
1168
00:54:37.550 --> 00:54:41.690
very complicated because- I don't know how you can inhabit
1169
00:54:41.750 --> 00:54:46.489
both worlds without fans attacking you. Do you know what
1170
00:54:46.650 --> 00:54:48.730
I mean? You're like, you're in a blue state, but
1171
00:54:48.750 --> 00:54:52.900
you're wearing a MAGA hat. You know what I mean?
1172
00:54:52.980 --> 00:54:53.340
Yeah.
1173
00:54:53.420 --> 00:54:57.760
You've got good environmental policy, but you don't believe in
1174
00:54:58.159 --> 00:55:01.460
getting vaccinated. It helps to not be on social media.
1175
00:55:01.760 --> 00:55:05.400
That helps. But yeah, I don't know how it happened.
1176
00:55:05.500 --> 00:55:07.769
It just, I kind of booked.
1177
00:55:07.590 --> 00:55:11.349
Those two jobs at, the exact same time, and it
1178
00:55:11.409 --> 00:55:16.429
just kind of somehow magically happened, you know? Because I remember,
1179
00:55:16.570 --> 00:55:19.389
I think on the same day even, like, hey, you
1180
00:55:19.429 --> 00:55:22.369
got this Marvel thing, and hey, you got this DC thing.
1181
00:55:22.389 --> 00:55:25.789
And a couple hours later, and I was like, well,
1182
00:55:25.869 --> 00:55:28.090
do I have to pick one? And, you know, my
1183
00:55:28.150 --> 00:55:30.550
reps were like, well, let's see if we can make
1184
00:55:30.570 --> 00:55:31.130
them both work.
1185
00:55:31.960 --> 00:55:36.039
I don't think they told anybody. Because I think Marvel people,
1186
00:55:36.860 --> 00:55:40.650
the people making Marvel movies are probably so snobby about DC,
1187
00:55:40.670 --> 00:55:42.710
they won't even watch it. And the DC people are like,
1188
00:55:42.730 --> 00:55:46.610
I'm not watching that shit. And so the Aquaman people
1189
00:55:46.750 --> 00:55:49.130
aren't watching, you know, they don't know that. I think
1190
00:55:49.190 --> 00:55:51.030
they don't know. It's possible.
1191
00:55:51.050 --> 00:55:53.760
But they're, I mean, they, you know, unless they're like
1192
00:55:53.800 --> 00:55:56.719
my parents and my career, they're a No, your whole
1193
00:55:56.739 --> 00:55:58.380
career has been about deception.
1194
00:55:58.440 --> 00:56:01.420
And that's what's happening right now is you're living a
1195
00:56:01.559 --> 00:56:05.880
double life. You're inhabiting both of these comic universes.
1196
00:56:05.980 --> 00:56:07.840
This is like the modern day equivalent of being a
1197
00:56:07.989 --> 00:56:12.210
union scout.
1198
00:56:12.650 --> 00:56:13.849
You're gonna get roughed up in an alley.
1199
00:56:13.909 --> 00:56:14.710
I know, I know.
1200
00:56:14.769 --> 00:56:15.769
It's like on the waterfront.
1201
00:56:17.480 --> 00:56:20.210
It's cool also because I'm not a superhero. I'm just
1202
00:56:20.250 --> 00:56:21.889
like a regular guy.
1203
00:56:23.230 --> 00:56:26.829
Some say, though, that's the greatest superhero of all. Who
1204
00:56:26.869 --> 00:56:30.869
says that? Absolutely nobody. Yeah, I don't know. No, but
1205
00:56:30.989 --> 00:56:34.619
I think it's, I mean, actually in a world inhabited
1206
00:56:34.659 --> 00:56:37.639
by people that can float, shoot beams out of their eyes,
1207
00:56:37.699 --> 00:56:42.159
walk through walls, there's constant portals opening up and they're
1208
00:56:42.179 --> 00:56:46.489
jumping through. being a guy in a suit makes you pop.
1209
00:56:46.690 --> 00:56:48.389
You're a guy in a suit who's got a job
1210
00:56:48.429 --> 00:56:51.650
to do. You're a civil servant. And it's got its
1211
00:56:51.730 --> 00:56:54.840
own cool factor to it. Yeah, I saw a friend
1212
00:56:54.889 --> 00:56:58.820
showed me something online. Someone had like tweeted something about like,
1213
00:56:58.920 --> 00:57:01.360
oh my God, it's, there's this like quick scene where
1214
00:57:01.380 --> 00:57:06.400
I'm like bringing coffee to a coffee shop. some of
1215
00:57:06.519 --> 00:57:10.260
my partners and they were like, oh my God, it's,
1216
00:57:10.360 --> 00:57:13.559
we love that he's bringing coffee to his, you know,
1217
00:57:13.599 --> 00:57:18.630
his coworkers. And I'm like, yeah, you know, that is
1218
00:57:18.730 --> 00:57:20.929
like something that should be cool.
1219
00:57:20.969 --> 00:57:21.190
Yeah.
1220
00:57:21.650 --> 00:57:25.170
You know, because also I think if you're watching any
1221
00:57:25.210 --> 00:57:29.030
of the, especially the later Avengers where there's constantly different
1222
00:57:29.170 --> 00:57:31.960
holes opening up in the sky and dragons made out of,
1223
00:57:32.530 --> 00:57:35.690
fire coming out and Thor's punching Spider-Man.
1224
00:57:36.670 --> 00:57:39.340
I thought you were gonna say like the Hulk brought
1225
00:57:39.400 --> 00:57:40.800
coffee to somebody.
1226
00:57:40.820 --> 00:57:44.539
No, but if you saw the Hulk say, Hulk go
1227
00:57:45.239 --> 00:57:52.409
get latte. Anyone else want hot drink? I think everyone
1228
00:57:52.429 --> 00:57:53.710
would stop for a second.
1229
00:57:53.730 --> 00:57:53.909
For sure.
1230
00:57:53.969 --> 00:57:57.409
And they're spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on these
1231
00:57:57.489 --> 00:58:01.559
CGI effects. And if there's just a moment where Hulk say,
1232
00:58:02.070 --> 00:58:04.500
you know, or he doesn't even ask, he comes back. Oh,
1233
00:58:04.510 --> 00:58:07.550
that would be amazing. Yeah, and he says to Captain America,
1234
00:58:07.570 --> 00:58:14.050
me see you drink green tea once. Buy you green tea.
1235
00:58:14.289 --> 00:58:15.190
Wow, Hulk.
1236
00:58:16.309 --> 00:58:20.079
Me not sure green, cause everything look green to me. Yeah,
1237
00:58:20.139 --> 00:58:23.719
it's not actually green tea, it's actually coffee. Look green
1238
00:58:23.760 --> 00:58:28.780
to me. Don't make Hulk mad. Me also buy you
1239
00:58:28.820 --> 00:58:30.719
green cookie. No, it's not.
1240
00:58:30.739 --> 00:58:31.559
No, it's not.
1241
00:58:31.679 --> 00:58:32.179
Oh, Hulk.
1242
00:58:33.260 --> 00:58:39.289
Hulk-y ass. You green. Everyone green. Everyone green. Hulk need
1243
00:58:39.449 --> 00:58:45.280
lens crafters. Okay, Hulk, tell us what you see. All green, okay!
1244
00:58:45.320 --> 00:58:54.429
Take it easy, Hulk. Okay. Every day St. Paddy's Day. St.
1245
00:58:54.489 --> 00:58:59.289
Paddy's Day again? Hulk just want beer, all beer green. Hulk,
1246
00:58:59.349 --> 00:59:05.590
we've been through this. Well, this is really stupid. Man, Randall,
1247
00:59:06.349 --> 00:59:09.449
I know you're feeling iffy. You're not sure, you feel
1248
00:59:09.489 --> 00:59:11.599
neither here nor there about being my friend, but I
1249
00:59:11.639 --> 00:59:14.800
would really, I sincerely really want you to be my friend.
1250
00:59:14.820 --> 00:59:15.320
Yeah, me too.
1251
00:59:15.420 --> 00:59:20.860
You are so, and real and talented, and I'm very
1252
00:59:20.900 --> 00:59:23.079
happy for you. All I ask is that if you
1253
00:59:23.119 --> 00:59:28.019
ever see me at Dodger Stadium in Fox, do not approach. Yeah, no.
1254
00:59:28.699 --> 00:59:33.500
You understand that, right? No, yeah, yeah. It's just crazy. No,
1255
00:59:33.539 --> 00:59:35.519
I mean, maybe, you know.
1256
00:59:35.840 --> 00:59:40.179
I do want, I'm open to the possibility of being
1257
00:59:40.219 --> 00:59:44.489
your friend, because I do want to come to the
1258
00:59:44.530 --> 00:59:45.980
house and just see you.
1259
00:59:46.269 --> 00:59:49.050
The drawing in the frame. Oh, wow, what an egotist.
1260
00:59:49.889 --> 00:59:52.329
You wanna come to my house just to see the
1261
00:59:52.369 --> 00:59:56.070
drawing you did in my kitchen. It's there. I see
1262
00:59:56.130 --> 00:59:58.190
it every day. And then that's it. And it always
1263
00:59:58.230 --> 01:00:01.369
makes me laugh. All right, I will make that happen.
1264
01:00:02.369 --> 01:00:05.510
I will make that happen. Randall, absolute pleasure. Thank you, John.
1265
01:00:05.530 --> 01:00:07.570
Thank you for being here. Thank you, guys. Thank you.
1266
01:00:07.710 --> 01:00:10.889
Thank you, man. And congrats on the new show and just,
1267
01:00:11.800 --> 01:00:13.780
Just don't pretend you don't know me. Don't act like
1268
01:00:13.800 --> 01:00:17.150
you don't know me. Because you know you're going to. No,
1269
01:00:17.190 --> 01:00:19.849
I won't. I'll come up and say hi. All right,
1270
01:00:19.869 --> 01:00:20.309
take care.
1271
01:00:20.769 --> 01:00:23.469
Thank you. Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
1272
01:00:23.489 --> 01:00:24.969
I know what you mean, Coo Column.
1273
01:00:25.170 --> 01:00:28.269
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
1274
01:00:28.409 --> 01:00:30.510
Eating tons of fresh grass.
1275
01:00:30.679 --> 01:00:30.989
What?
1276
01:00:31.110 --> 01:00:34.219
Not you or cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
1277
01:00:34.239 --> 01:00:37.940
milk is so good. It's famous all over the world.
1278
01:00:38.199 --> 01:00:38.679
Legend.
1279
01:00:40.260 --> 01:00:43.340
Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
1280
01:00:43.619 --> 01:00:47.159
help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
1281
01:00:47.179 --> 01:00:49.019
for the National Dairy Council guarantee.
1282
01:00:49.179 --> 01:00:51.239
Learn more at ndc.ie.
1283
01:00:51.519 --> 01:00:55.659
Reckon we'll need a fleet of about 50 vehicles next quarter. Oh,
1284
01:00:56.059 --> 01:00:58.019
one of our suppliers just pulled out of the market.
1285
01:00:58.440 --> 01:01:02.639
Ten should do the job. Nice, just won a new contract.
1286
01:01:02.960 --> 01:01:03.519
Make that 100 vehicles.
1287
01:01:05.760 --> 01:01:08.119
Why tie up your valuable capital? Whether you need a
1288
01:01:08.159 --> 01:01:10.719
car or van rental for two hours or two years,
1289
01:01:11.000 --> 01:01:14.139
Europecar offers total flexibility for you to get the job done.
1290
01:01:14.380 --> 01:01:16.659
No matter what the job is, simply pay as you go.
1291
01:01:16.900 --> 01:01:18.840
Search Europecar Business to get moving.
1292
01:01:19.159 --> 01:01:19.639
Europecar.
1293
01:01:19.860 --> 01:01:21.300
Moving your business, your way.
1294
01:01:21.320 --> 01:01:23.179
Do you know if you have a car or a
1295
01:01:23.179 --> 01:01:24.539
van rental for two hours or two years or if
1296
01:01:24.559 --> 01:01:26.199
you have a car or a van rental for two
1297
01:01:26.219 --> 01:01:27.900
hours or two years or if you have a car
1298
01:01:27.920 --> 01:01:29.619
or a van rental for two hours or two years
1299
01:01:29.780 --> 01:01:30.719
or if you have a car or a van.
1300
01:01:30.599 --> 01:01:32.460
Rental for two hours or two years or if you
1301
01:01:32.519 --> 01:01:32.840
have a.
1302
01:01:32.800 --> 01:01:34.739
Car or a van rental for two hours or two
1303
01:01:34.780 --> 01:01:37.889
years I need a little help from two pretty practiced parents.
1304
01:01:37.909 --> 01:01:38.570
My daughter tried to.
1305
01:01:38.550 --> 01:02:09.980
Buy a Subaru. Well, it's a fine car. I mean,
1306
01:02:10.019 --> 01:02:12.860
if she's not even won yet.
1307
01:02:13.340 --> 01:02:15.760
She's won. Yeah, she's won this weekend.
1308
01:02:15.780 --> 01:02:20.079
She's won this. Okay. That's a pretty wise choice, I think,
1309
01:02:20.300 --> 01:02:21.539
for a first-time car buyer.
1310
01:02:21.619 --> 01:02:24.099
My quibble is not with the car. She got on
1311
01:02:24.300 --> 01:02:28.440
my wife's phone and somehow got on the OfferUp app.
1312
01:02:28.900 --> 01:02:31.119
And my wife got it away from her as it
1313
01:02:31.159 --> 01:02:32.900
was literally one button left.
1314
01:02:33.719 --> 01:02:36.760
To purchase the Subaru. Did she go through all the options?
1315
01:02:36.940 --> 01:02:37.500
I guess.
1316
01:02:37.699 --> 01:02:39.579
I don't know how easy it is to buy.
1317
01:02:39.599 --> 01:02:41.739
I mean, I guess shout out to OfferUp that it's
1318
01:02:41.760 --> 01:02:43.460
so easy even a child could use it, but also
1319
01:02:43.519 --> 01:02:45.360
shame on you, OfferUp, it's so easy.
1320
01:02:45.860 --> 01:02:47.500
Did she opt for leather seats?
1321
01:02:47.519 --> 01:02:49.260
I don't know.
1322
01:02:51.059 --> 01:02:54.840
What kind of sound package did she get? You know,
1323
01:02:54.860 --> 01:02:58.820
this happens. Have you experienced this yet, Liza?
1324
01:02:59.199 --> 01:02:59.719
I mean, Sona.
1325
01:03:01.199 --> 01:03:03.889
I just heard someone- I saw a woman looking at
1326
01:03:03.929 --> 01:03:06.469
me disapprovingly, and I used my wife's name instead of Sona's.
1327
01:03:06.989 --> 01:03:08.750
No, they haven't tried to buy a car yet.
1328
01:03:08.769 --> 01:03:09.980
I mean, that's a big one.
1329
01:03:09.989 --> 01:03:12.730
But, you know, they'll get on the phone, they'll start
1330
01:03:12.750 --> 01:03:14.389
doing things, they'll lock it, and then you have to
1331
01:03:14.409 --> 01:03:16.139
just take it away from them. But they haven't almost
1332
01:03:16.340 --> 01:03:19.199
purchased a car. I need a car, so I wouldn't
1333
01:03:19.239 --> 01:03:19.750
mind it.
1334
01:03:19.980 --> 01:03:23.059
We used to nickname... My daughter did not do this.
1335
01:03:23.099 --> 01:03:26.099
My son, we nicknamed him Button Boy when he was
1336
01:03:26.139 --> 01:03:28.909
a kid because he... was obsessed with tech and he
1337
01:03:28.949 --> 01:03:32.960
was constantly, if he saw anyone's phone around or any device,
1338
01:03:33.000 --> 01:03:34.940
he would grab it and start pushing buttons. And he
1339
01:03:35.119 --> 01:03:41.420
intuitively or magically would always do something, change the time.
1340
01:03:41.500 --> 01:03:44.659
And he wasn't, I mean, at the earliest stage, he
1341
01:03:44.679 --> 01:03:47.769
was doing that. And so we called him Button Boy.
1342
01:03:47.849 --> 01:03:49.610
And in a lot of the photographs we have of
1343
01:03:49.690 --> 01:03:52.929
him as a kid, He's always holding a device, anything
1344
01:03:52.949 --> 01:03:56.719
that has a button. So he'd find like a cheap plastic,
1345
01:03:57.019 --> 01:04:00.099
almost disposable digital watch on the beach and just hang
1346
01:04:00.159 --> 01:04:01.019
on to it for months.
1347
01:04:01.039 --> 01:04:01.619
Oh my God.
1348
01:04:01.719 --> 01:04:04.039
And keep pushing the buttons. Did they have busy boards
1349
01:04:04.079 --> 01:04:04.380
back then?
1350
01:04:04.400 --> 01:04:06.360
Because we just got one for Glenn and it's a
1351
01:04:06.510 --> 01:04:10.110
wood board with like 20 switches and lights that they
1352
01:04:10.150 --> 01:04:11.210
just turn on and off.
1353
01:04:11.269 --> 01:04:14.110
And it's amazing. I just sit there and play with it. Oh,
1354
01:04:14.130 --> 01:04:14.590
that's cool.
1355
01:04:14.730 --> 01:04:14.949
Yeah.
1356
01:04:15.170 --> 01:04:16.829
I have a couple of toys of Du Bois I'm
1357
01:04:16.909 --> 01:04:19.500
obsessed with. Like what? Like these stacking cups. I need
1358
01:04:19.519 --> 01:04:22.159
to have all nine of them. It's very important. Like
1359
01:04:22.199 --> 01:04:24.440
they'll be coming to me for attention and I'll just
1360
01:04:24.719 --> 01:04:27.320
shove them aside to look for these stacking cups.
1361
01:04:27.440 --> 01:04:28.159
What do you mean stacking?
1362
01:04:28.179 --> 01:04:31.300
They're just stacking cups. There's just, I have an obsession
1363
01:04:31.340 --> 01:04:34.739
right now with just keeping this specific toy intact. And
1364
01:04:34.800 --> 01:04:37.070
I don't know why. Wait, you have the obsession or
1365
01:04:37.110 --> 01:04:39.110
they do? Yeah, I do. Wait, you're playing with a
1366
01:04:39.130 --> 01:04:41.670
child's toy? Yeah, but Matt just said he played with
1367
01:04:41.730 --> 01:04:42.349
Glenn's toy.
1368
01:04:42.630 --> 01:04:43.789
Yeah, but mine's a busy board.
1369
01:04:43.809 --> 01:04:45.610
Yours are just cups. Yeah, that's a busy board. You're
1370
01:04:45.650 --> 01:04:48.510
just stacking cups. That's called cleaning up in the kitchen.
1371
01:04:48.550 --> 01:04:49.250
It's a chore.
1372
01:04:49.269 --> 01:04:51.449
You're just doing chores. What are you talking about? You're like,
1373
01:04:51.469 --> 01:04:53.250
I love this new kid's toy they have. It's called
1374
01:04:53.289 --> 01:04:56.659
Laundry in Hamper. I think Tack just came to you
1375
01:04:56.699 --> 01:04:59.440
and said, yeah, this is a kid's toy. We'll stack
1376
01:04:59.460 --> 01:05:01.900
this in cups. I know that old trick. Nine cups.
1377
01:05:02.059 --> 01:05:03.519
What else are you obsessed with playing with?
1378
01:05:05.280 --> 01:05:07.500
My mom is obsessed with this one turtle toy where
1379
01:05:07.519 --> 01:05:09.400
you put the shapes in there and she needs to
1380
01:05:09.440 --> 01:05:10.739
make sure all the pieces are there.
1381
01:05:10.760 --> 01:05:12.559
You know, I get the sense that you and your
1382
01:05:12.579 --> 01:05:15.679
mom and probably your dad and your husband are busy
1383
01:05:15.760 --> 01:05:17.170
playing with children's toys.
1384
01:05:17.250 --> 01:05:17.530
Yeah.
1385
01:05:17.829 --> 01:05:21.769
While Mikey and Charlie are just wandering the highway. Yeah.
1386
01:05:21.969 --> 01:05:22.449
On foot.
1387
01:05:22.469 --> 01:05:23.590
That's true.
1388
01:05:23.690 --> 01:05:28.230
You're like, look, I stacked them. Mikey, Charlie.
1389
01:05:28.250 --> 01:05:28.639
That's true.
1390
01:05:29.110 --> 01:05:33.000
You know, my son's button obsession is, This is a
1391
01:05:33.039 --> 01:05:37.460
true story. We were in Washington for some event. I
1392
01:05:37.519 --> 01:05:39.420
forget what it was. And we got to have a
1393
01:05:39.500 --> 01:05:43.190
tour of the White House. And they were giving us
1394
01:05:43.250 --> 01:05:45.730
some special stuff like, oh, you can go here, you
1395
01:05:45.750 --> 01:05:48.369
can go there. And so Liza was with us and
1396
01:05:48.409 --> 01:05:51.110
my daughter was with us and my son. And he's
1397
01:05:51.239 --> 01:05:53.400
really young at the time. And at one point they
1398
01:05:53.440 --> 01:05:57.570
took us downstairs and they have this special room. And
1399
01:05:57.590 --> 01:06:00.010
I think it's like the iconic picture of when they
1400
01:06:00.070 --> 01:06:00.989
got bin Laden.
1401
01:06:01.210 --> 01:06:01.809
Oh, yeah.
1402
01:06:01.829 --> 01:06:03.369
They showed us those rooms. I don't think we were
1403
01:06:03.409 --> 01:06:04.869
in that room, but we were in the, there's a
1404
01:06:04.929 --> 01:06:06.969
mirror image room right next to it. And they were
1405
01:06:06.989 --> 01:06:09.329
showing us that room. This is like a situation room?
1406
01:06:09.409 --> 01:06:11.300
Like a situation room. And they said, yeah, you can
1407
01:06:11.340 --> 01:06:13.460
take a look at this room. And there's a button
1408
01:06:13.480 --> 01:06:15.860
in the room. And so my son just leans over
1409
01:06:15.960 --> 01:06:19.760
and hits the button. And suddenly I was just thinking like,
1410
01:06:19.900 --> 01:06:22.380
maybe you shouldn't push that because there's a button in
1411
01:06:22.400 --> 01:06:24.039
the middle of the situation room. My son just leans
1412
01:06:24.059 --> 01:06:26.559
forward and hits it. And very quickly a door opens
1413
01:06:26.639 --> 01:06:28.599
up and a guy leans in and said, everything okay
1414
01:06:28.619 --> 01:06:34.039
in here? And we were like, yeah, everything's fine. And
1415
01:06:34.079 --> 01:06:37.119
he went, oh, the like, we need someone to come
1416
01:06:37.179 --> 01:06:41.030
in here button was just pushed. And so, and my
1417
01:06:41.130 --> 01:06:42.809
son was like panicked for a second that he had
1418
01:06:42.829 --> 01:06:45.610
done something wrong. And I said, no, you did the
1419
01:06:45.650 --> 01:06:48.429
right thing. You saw a button. in the White House
1420
01:06:48.449 --> 01:06:50.460
Situation Room. No, no, that's the wrong thing to say.
1421
01:06:50.469 --> 01:06:52.170
And you hit it. That was not the right thing
1422
01:06:52.190 --> 01:06:53.369
to say. Well, if he didn't, I was going to
1423
01:06:53.429 --> 01:06:53.710
do it.
1424
01:06:53.789 --> 01:06:54.190
What?
1425
01:06:54.250 --> 01:06:56.409
No, you should know better. You're the adult. There was
1426
01:06:56.449 --> 01:06:58.500
a half second where I thought he had launched a missile.
1427
01:06:58.559 --> 01:06:59.699
Yeah.
1428
01:06:59.719 --> 01:07:00.480
Yeah.
1429
01:07:00.659 --> 01:07:03.420
Would it be that easy? Apparently, they're just all over
1430
01:07:03.440 --> 01:07:06.519
the place. The buttons to launch the missiles? Yes, definitely.
1431
01:07:06.619 --> 01:07:08.360
And you know what's really bad? They look just like
1432
01:07:08.400 --> 01:07:10.820
light switches. Yeah, and you know what? They also- They're
1433
01:07:10.889 --> 01:07:13.550
on a busy board. Stupidly, they put them right next
1434
01:07:13.590 --> 01:07:17.550
to the elevator. And for the missile to go, the
1435
01:07:17.590 --> 01:07:19.639
missile to, if you want to fire a missile up
1436
01:07:19.780 --> 01:07:22.639
into the atmosphere in another country, it's just a little
1437
01:07:22.679 --> 01:07:24.880
triangle pointing up. Yeah, and if you want to fire
1438
01:07:24.900 --> 01:07:27.079
a torpedo, there's one just going down, yeah.
1439
01:07:27.380 --> 01:07:27.780
Okay.
1440
01:07:27.940 --> 01:07:30.840
Yeah, true story. Oh, it's true, it's a true story. Okay,
1441
01:07:30.860 --> 01:07:32.619
if you two say it. They also have a bunch
1442
01:07:32.739 --> 01:07:36.139
over near the snack machine. By the vending machine? Yeah,
1443
01:07:36.400 --> 01:07:38.019
there's a little, there's buttons there too.
1444
01:07:38.119 --> 01:07:38.380
Yeah.
1445
01:07:38.579 --> 01:07:44.789
I think it's A7 is either SunChips Or you decimate
1446
01:07:45.269 --> 01:07:51.389
some part of Turkey. No, but all joking aside, I
1447
01:07:51.429 --> 01:07:54.130
do think it's quite a complicated process to launch a missile.
1448
01:07:54.349 --> 01:07:54.789
It must be.
1449
01:07:54.869 --> 01:07:56.369
At least I'm kind of hoping it is.
1450
01:07:56.510 --> 01:07:57.829
I am, oh God.
1451
01:07:58.110 --> 01:07:58.849
You know? Yeah.
1452
01:07:59.570 --> 01:08:00.329
What's this button do?
1453
01:08:00.530 --> 01:08:05.110
Oh no, okay. What would it do in here? What
1454
01:08:05.730 --> 01:08:08.570
button do they have? You just created another podcast.
1455
01:08:08.769 --> 01:08:09.590
Oh, no.
1456
01:08:09.730 --> 01:08:13.409
That's how easy it is to create a podcast. It's
1457
01:08:13.449 --> 01:08:19.920
called Jawbonin' with Skaz and Millie. Skaz and Millie just
1458
01:08:20.060 --> 01:08:25.420
chew the fat from their basement in Santa Clarita. Jawbonin'.
1459
01:08:25.680 --> 01:08:27.779
Available wherever you get your podcasts.
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Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. with Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian,
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and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced
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by Adam Sachs, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco,
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and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song
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by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
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Take it away, Jimmy.
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Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent
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producer is Jennifer Samples.
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Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
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Additional production support by Mars Models.
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Melnick.
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Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.
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You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts,
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and you might find your review read on a future episode.
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Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline
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at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be
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featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already,
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please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher.
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Or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
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This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.
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Reckon we'll need a fleet of about 50 vehicles next quarter. Oh,
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one of our suppliers just pulled out of the market.
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Ten should do the job.
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Nice, just won a new contract. Make that 100 vehicles.
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Why tie up your valuable capital? Whether you need a
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car or van rental for two hours or two years,
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Europecar offers total flexibility for you to get the job done.
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No matter what the job is, simply pay as you go.
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Search Europecar Business to get moving. Europecar, moving your business
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your way.
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You know if you're a young adult aged 19 to
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25 or a full-time third-level student, you can get half-price
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public transport with a TFI lead card.
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Sounds complex.
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No, it's simple. 50% off journeys.
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So?
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So more money in your pocket for things you like doing.
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Because I've saved 50% on fares?
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Yes, you've got it.
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Get 50% off public transport journeys with a TFI young
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adult or student LeapGuard. Find out more and apply today
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at leapguard.ie.
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Brought to you by Transport for Ireland.