David Spade Returns

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Hey guys, my name is David Spade and I feel
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somewhat sick about being just more like bad tummy about
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being Conan's friend.
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You know, I think I've always had that effect on you.
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No, maybe I'll change it to honored.
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Too late.
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Okay. Fall is here.
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Hear the yell.
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Back to school.
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Ring the bell. Brand new shoes.
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Walking blues. Climb the fence. Books and pens.
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I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Yes,
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I can tell that we are gonna be friends.
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Okay, hit it.
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Friendship is a good thing.
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Quiet.
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It's a miserable life.
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It's a miserable life. The whole rhythm of friendship is
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a good thing. Quiet.
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Oh, God.
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It's so insane. Okay, here we go. Hey there. Welcome
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to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined by Sonam Ovsassian.
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Hi.
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Hi. and Matt Gourley, and I had something kind of
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sweet and uplifting to talk about. Oh. My wife noticed this. Suspicious.
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I know. Even I'm suspicious, but of course the wildfires occurred,
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and Sona, you lost your home. It was terrible. Oh
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my God.
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What?
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What?
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What's the matter?
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I just went, she gone.
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I know. Well, but you're, you're processing it, but it
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was devastating. And we've talked about it here. And, um,
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the fire came right. As I've said to people, I was,
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we were crazily lucky. The fire came to the back
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of our yard, to the edge of our yard and
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stopped and burned some stuff, uh, on the edge of
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our property. So there's, um, and, and, And there was
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smoke damage, but we were overwhelmingly, crazily lucky. And I'm
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back living in the house now. Liza noticed that we
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had these fruit trees, this little small area of fruit
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trees in the backyard. And all of them burned and
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are charred and had to be cut down and taken away,
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except one. The pomegranate tree that your parents... Gifted me.
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Yeah.
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And Liza back when you.
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Guys hosted our engagement party.
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That's right.
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With just 200 of our closest friends and family.
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Yeah.
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No joke.
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Yeah. Yeah. We had a big party in the backyard
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for your for your tax engagement and a bunch of
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I mean, obviously your friends and your family came. And
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I was I mean, I didn't think I was getting
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a gift because that wasn't the point of it. But
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your parents brought. Yeah. This pomegranate tree, and we planted
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it along with all the other trees, and it kind
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of doesn't make sense because all the other trees burned,
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and there's not a really good reason why this tree
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didn't burn.
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Yes, there is.
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Which is, say.
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Well, pomegranates represent prosperity.
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Mm-hmm.
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So- Obviously.
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And it's part of the Armenian voodoo that my mom
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put into the tree.
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It's protecting. It protected your house. That's why it's fine.
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You're welcome.
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Did you have a pomegranate tree in your... Did your
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parents give you one for your house?
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I had that question as well.
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I did. The tree survived.
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Wait a minute. Okay. But wait, did your pomegranate tree survive?
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It did survive, actually.
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But it didn't save the house. No, no.
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It didn't serve its purpose.
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Maybe it just didn't know which house it was supposed
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to be guarding.
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It did protect The yoga studio that my neighbors built
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next door, that's the closest structure to it.
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You probably faced the tree wrong and it probably misunderstood.
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Like a well-intentioned dog.
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Don't worry.
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I saved the yoga studio. You idiot. Oh, my God.
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I have to say, because I've traveled to Armenia with you.
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Yeah.
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Pomegranates and the pomegranate tree. It's like it is a
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very important part of Armenian culture. Yeah.
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It's got a lot of symbolism to it. It's very
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it's a very important fruit in our culture. And I
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think that and also it's not just it didn't just survive.
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It's green and lush.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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I mean, ours is in bloom.
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Yeah.
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It's spectacular looking as if nothing happened. Surrounded by stumps. Yeah.
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And I thought that was very cool.
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You now have to believe in the Armenian.
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I know we've talked about the like witchcraft my mom
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does and the things that she believes in.
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You have to admit that.
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There's some truth.
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Something.
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I don't think I was a big denier of the power.
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Yes, you were.
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What do you mean?
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When my mom buried a baby doll in the front yard.
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You just said buried a baby. Yeah, but when she buried.
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A doll in the front yard, you laughed about it.
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But wait, what was that for? I can't remember.
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For me to have babies. And guess what?
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It worked.
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Yeah. Through science.
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Sure, my fertility doctors may have.
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Had something to do with it.
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You had twins. Did she bury one baby or two babies?
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She buried one, but it's not like.
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Was it a real realistic plastic baby doll or was
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it like a Ken doll or was it a.
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No, it was like this doll I actually had when
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I was a kid and it's gender neutral too. It
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doesn't have any genitalia.
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That's weird.
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The baby doll didn't have a big swangin' dick. Went
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shopping for baby dolls. I like one with a big cock!
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How ever did she find one like that?
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Wow, that's a real find.
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Those are hard to find these days.
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Yeah.
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Just insane.
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Your logic today, Sona.
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I don't know.
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This doll poops, it wets, it cries, and it becomes
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massively erect.
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And it stars in its own Skinamax after dark. Oh,
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come on.
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Well.
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Yeah, all you're saying.
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It's got a little weird mustache. 70s mustache.
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No, it's gender neutral.
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So it didn't look like a girl.
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It doesn't look like a boy. She buried it. And
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then I got pregnant with, yes, the help of fertility doctors,
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but still.
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I am not someone who I say, if it's working
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for you, go with it. And I don't pretend to
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know the answers. I really don't. And so I'm, and
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I was very impressed and I have been very impressed
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by Armenians and by your country. And I'm just like,
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you guys have this very strong spirit. And I think, yeah,
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I would give it up for any power that you
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guys have. And this tree surviving, I have to say
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it's a, It's a powerful thing to see. It's cool.
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My parents, I sent them a picture of it because
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Liza sent me a picture of the tree. It's surrounded
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by just charred stuff. And they were really touched and
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happy that it survived.
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Oh, good.
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They were really, really happy. And my mom was not surprised,
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by the way. She kind of knew it would survive.
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I don't mean to ruin the moment. I'm just thinking
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of your mom burying a baby doll with a huge
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plastic dick.
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And the dick is sticking out of the soil. She
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buried it six feet under, but still. And then it flowers.
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The dick is coming out, and then it flowers. And
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a pomegranate comes out the tip of the dick. Oh! Yeah.
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Yes!
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Yes! Oh, my God. And your mom just turns to
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a camera and goes, it's the power of Armenia! Well, anyway,
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we've ruined another episode of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
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All right, my guest today is a hilarious comedian and
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a very old friend of mine. His latest standup special,
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David Spade Dandelion, is available for streaming on Prime Video.
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I am thrilled he's here today. I really do love
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hanging with this guy. David Spade, welcome.
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I think you should roll right when people walk in
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because then you see the real and then when I
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drop my bullshit act and I start being nice to
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everyone for the cameras.
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I'm rolling now.
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Oh, it is? Okay.
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The whole thing where you said bullshit and when you
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talk about how you hate Italians. Why do you hate Italians?
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I said it on the stairs. It doesn't count. We
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are on our way in.
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Thanks for being here.
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Do you have like a beginning or is this the beginning?
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Yeah.
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I've seen this show a million times.
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I'm clear. I love that when you walked in, you said,
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which one's Conan?
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No, I knew you were tall. Oh, this one with
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the hidden cameras.
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Yeah.
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Dana told me all about it. Oh, you got the
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backstage journey. only what you look out for.
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Well, I want to mention, first of all, you and
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Dana do a great podcast, Fly on the Wall. Thank you.
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And you guys get all the backstage dirt on what's
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going on at SNL over the years. Plus, you talk
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to other people as well.
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Yeah, we sort of watered down. We sort of ran through.
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You got through everybody. Yeah. You know, once you would
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talk to Jim Brewer six times, you knew it was,
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you had to move on.
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Gervitz is always like, you haven't scratched the surface. Just
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another 900 casts. And I go, yeah, but Bill Squankmeyer
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from 1988. At a certain point, we realized, I guess
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people do like stars. That's the sad part.
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Mark Gervitz, by the way, if you don't know, he's
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been a manager at Brillstein for, I think, 75 years.
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70 to 100 years.
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70 to 100 years.
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Yeah. Um, he used to represent Al Jolson. Uh, it's
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a funny reference. So you should look it up. I
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know he's old. Yeah. Thank you.
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Hey, Conan likes money. I guess you don't like money.
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So he's telling you, I'm going to do a gig
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in Ottawa tomorrow. I go tomorrow.
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Sorry.
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I'll call Dana. He likes money.
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That's what Gervit says to you. So he will give
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you shit about not taking a gig because he says
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that Dana will take the gig. Yeah.
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And he just does it to make you feel bad.
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Yeah.
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Because they sit there in their office with their feet
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up and they get 10% of whatever. So it's better
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if you just say yes and they hang up the
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phone and go, oh, he's on three flights to Ottawa
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and I make money. So it's better if you say yes.
255
00:11:27.149 --> 00:11:27.470
Yes.
256
00:11:27.590 --> 00:11:29.730
Oh, they like a yes. They like a yes. And
257
00:11:29.750 --> 00:11:32.269
they don't care what you go through. Not at all.
258
00:11:32.309 --> 00:11:34.490
It's a pretty good gig. It's in Anchorage. You might
259
00:11:34.509 --> 00:11:35.129
like Anchorage.
260
00:11:35.330 --> 00:11:42.950
Somebody hates Alaska. I don't hate Alaska. I think it's far.
261
00:11:43.169 --> 00:11:48.360
It's okay. I'll break it to Alaska. They're your fans.
262
00:11:49.679 --> 00:11:54.139
This is what it's like, you know, having a manager. Yeah.
263
00:11:54.159 --> 00:11:55.799
But I have to say, I've had the same guy
264
00:11:56.370 --> 00:11:58.889
since day one, you know, when I got out here.
265
00:11:59.750 --> 00:12:01.870
I will tell you a quick story. Do we have
266
00:12:01.889 --> 00:12:02.110
an hour?
267
00:12:02.610 --> 00:12:03.210
This is six hours.
268
00:12:03.230 --> 00:12:05.850
Okay, this will fit in perfectly, this one story. It's
269
00:12:06.149 --> 00:12:07.169
exactly 58 minutes.
270
00:12:07.250 --> 00:12:09.350
Right, it's about how you grew up until this moment.
271
00:12:09.409 --> 00:12:11.950
No, this is a good manager story, so, and I
272
00:12:11.990 --> 00:12:12.889
know then we'll get into stuff.
273
00:12:12.909 --> 00:12:15.070
And I will quickly say, Mark Gervitz, I've known him
274
00:12:15.090 --> 00:12:17.509
for a long time, and he's a mensch, he's a
275
00:12:17.529 --> 00:12:18.049
good fella.
276
00:12:18.309 --> 00:12:20.990
Yeah, I think I've only told this story on 17 podcasts.
277
00:12:21.009 --> 00:12:23.330
That's okay, it doesn't matter. Have you ever heard people
278
00:12:23.350 --> 00:12:23.669
say this?
279
00:12:23.789 --> 00:12:25.470
No one listens to any other podcast.
280
00:12:25.509 --> 00:12:26.470
I haven't told this anywhere.
281
00:12:26.649 --> 00:12:26.889
Yeah.
282
00:12:27.009 --> 00:12:29.049
And they ramp it up, like I go, I don't
283
00:12:29.080 --> 00:12:30.759
want to see this clip because I know it's all
284
00:12:30.799 --> 00:12:32.730
set up like, Like, I want you to make it
285
00:12:32.769 --> 00:12:35.909
a clip. I shouldn't tell this, but I'll tell this
286
00:12:35.990 --> 00:12:41.230
because it's boring. It'll fit right in. So I, here's Spady.
287
00:12:41.370 --> 00:12:44.350
This is before you knew me, before we fell in love.
288
00:12:44.879 --> 00:12:49.500
This is probably, I'm 22, moved out here doing standup
289
00:12:49.820 --> 00:12:52.279
from Arizona. Got my first movie, got $ 6, 000. I cleared 6,000,
290
00:12:52.279 --> 00:12:57.940
bought a car. Looked for two weeks going, and I
291
00:12:57.980 --> 00:13:00.519
didn't just grab the first one, like first Camaro, what
292
00:13:00.539 --> 00:13:04.139
you would think. Hot rod. I get a Honda Accord.
293
00:13:04.200 --> 00:13:05.620
I take the hit. I go, I just got to
294
00:13:05.639 --> 00:13:08.070
get one that starts every day. Buy it cash, drive
295
00:13:08.090 --> 00:13:10.250
it to the improv, come out to show my friend, stolen.
296
00:13:10.590 --> 00:13:15.330
So stolen in not even an hour. Wow. And then
297
00:13:15.590 --> 00:13:17.809
it's so embarrassing. I'm like, here it is. And I'm showing,
298
00:13:17.830 --> 00:13:19.009
I'm a little buzzed. I went in and did a
299
00:13:19.049 --> 00:13:21.529
shot and I kind of go, maybe it's on Kilkia.
300
00:13:21.570 --> 00:13:23.830
Hold on. And then we're walking and I go, would
301
00:13:23.870 --> 00:13:24.809
it be on Beverly?
302
00:13:24.830 --> 00:13:25.049
Yeah.
303
00:13:25.740 --> 00:13:29.059
Wait, let me check the 405 because I just couldn't
304
00:13:29.100 --> 00:13:31.860
believe like, where is my car? Where did I park it?
305
00:13:31.889 --> 00:13:33.289
You can't believe someone took it.
306
00:13:33.309 --> 00:13:33.669
I could.
307
00:13:33.710 --> 00:13:35.110
That didn't even cross my mind. I go, I just
308
00:13:35.149 --> 00:13:38.740
don't remember where I parked it. And then the cops go, oh,
309
00:13:38.750 --> 00:13:40.980
they probably sold it to you, kept the key, followed
310
00:13:41.000 --> 00:13:42.899
you and took it. And I go, so now what
311
00:13:42.919 --> 00:13:45.379
do you do? Spring into action. He goes, you'd think.
312
00:13:48.909 --> 00:13:52.490
One would think. I like these cops already. One would hope.
313
00:13:52.710 --> 00:13:54.730
He goes, I'm already forgetting about this as I walk
314
00:13:54.769 --> 00:13:56.809
back to my car, but I'll say we're on the case.
315
00:13:56.830 --> 00:13:59.129
But anyway, nothing happened. So now I'm back to zero.
316
00:13:59.669 --> 00:14:02.529
I have to borrow money and stuff. Anyway, so I...
317
00:14:02.649 --> 00:14:04.970
This is a Police Academy movie. This is how it started.
318
00:14:05.009 --> 00:14:07.190
So I got that movie, cleared that. And when I
319
00:14:07.230 --> 00:14:09.649
was there, I was so new, didn't know how to act.
320
00:14:10.110 --> 00:14:12.289
I wasn't the fine actor I am today.
321
00:14:12.429 --> 00:14:13.769
You've become quite the thespian.
322
00:14:13.970 --> 00:14:14.330
Yeah. So.
323
00:14:15.200 --> 00:14:18.740
I was there, and this Bobcat Goldthwait, who was helping
324
00:14:18.759 --> 00:14:21.679
me out, was like, hey, this director of mine is here,
325
00:14:21.700 --> 00:14:23.850
and he's doing a new show on Fox, which just started.
326
00:14:23.879 --> 00:14:26.570
This is how old I am. And I said, okay.
327
00:14:26.590 --> 00:14:28.629
I always wanted a sitcom or something. He's like, it's
328
00:14:28.669 --> 00:14:32.250
a single camera where you're like a high school FBI.
329
00:14:32.389 --> 00:14:35.450
I was like, oh, how fun. So I said, oh, cool.
330
00:14:35.509 --> 00:14:38.570
So Fox, new network. I don't give a fuck. So great.
331
00:14:38.970 --> 00:14:42.049
So he goes, hey, do you mind reading this script?
332
00:14:42.090 --> 00:14:44.649
So he has sides. This is in Toronto during police cabbing.
333
00:14:45.659 --> 00:14:48.570
should you fucking glue this on to make me look stupid?
334
00:14:49.230 --> 00:14:49.750
Glue it on.
335
00:14:49.830 --> 00:14:55.289
Take a pot. So anyway, I go, okay. So I
336
00:14:55.309 --> 00:14:57.210
just read this. So I just literally read it to him. Yeah.
337
00:14:57.289 --> 00:14:58.490
And he's like, great.
338
00:14:58.649 --> 00:14:59.409
Well, okay.
339
00:14:59.429 --> 00:15:01.549
You're not quite there. We'll work with it. I literally
340
00:15:01.570 --> 00:15:04.330
knew nothing about acting. Just read it to him like
341
00:15:04.370 --> 00:15:07.049
a story. And he goes, all right, but you got
342
00:15:07.070 --> 00:15:08.350
a little heat on you. This is what I didn't know.
343
00:15:08.929 --> 00:15:11.440
I had done standup at the improv for about six months,
344
00:15:11.899 --> 00:15:15.980
some casting. I got this, Job's a skateboarder in this movie.
345
00:15:16.460 --> 00:15:17.820
And so now I get back and I've got those
346
00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:18.279
heat on me.
347
00:15:18.460 --> 00:15:18.679
Yeah.
348
00:15:18.740 --> 00:15:20.649
Which I don't even know what that means. Just like, oh,
349
00:15:20.679 --> 00:15:23.539
they're talking about you. So I got a manager. My
350
00:15:24.220 --> 00:15:27.039
agent moved to ICM. So now I'm at ICM, which
351
00:15:27.090 --> 00:15:29.970
is too big for me. I get home and they go, hey,
352
00:15:30.549 --> 00:15:34.190
this guy offered you that part, the lead in that show.
353
00:15:34.629 --> 00:15:37.230
And I was like, wait, my own show? I said,
354
00:15:37.269 --> 00:15:40.370
oh my God, this is like a crazy. And they go, okay.
355
00:15:40.730 --> 00:15:42.940
So they have a big meeting at ICM. I think
356
00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:45.049
Gervis is there. And they go, here's why we're going
357
00:15:45.070 --> 00:15:47.169
to turn that down. You've got too much heat on you.
358
00:15:47.549 --> 00:15:50.490
That's a new network. We want you at NBC. They're
359
00:15:50.509 --> 00:15:52.850
doing Cosby show. And we're going to have a meeting
360
00:15:52.870 --> 00:15:55.279
with Brandon Tartarsauce or whatever his name is. And you're
361
00:15:55.299 --> 00:16:00.080
going to get a job there. He's heard about you.
362
00:16:00.120 --> 00:16:03.139
He's excited. He saw you stand up. I go, oh,
363
00:16:03.419 --> 00:16:05.940
I don't know. Wouldn't it be better to the one
364
00:16:05.980 --> 00:16:08.559
I have that's a thousand fucking percent an offer?
365
00:16:09.159 --> 00:16:09.519
No, no, no.
366
00:16:09.779 --> 00:16:12.950
And maybe like 20 grand a week, whatever, some magnanimous number.
367
00:16:13.740 --> 00:16:17.340
So I said, oh, so we're all agreed, all 12 agents,
368
00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:18.200
but I don't do this.
369
00:16:18.759 --> 00:16:19.000
Okay.
370
00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:23.039
So then I meet Tartikoff. They have me read something, right?
371
00:16:23.259 --> 00:16:24.340
So now I'm a free agent.
372
00:16:24.559 --> 00:16:24.740
Yeah.
373
00:16:25.179 --> 00:16:27.600
And that fucking casting director goes, oh, you're about to
374
00:16:27.639 --> 00:16:30.519
go in. I think we're doing these sides now. I
375
00:16:30.580 --> 00:16:32.480
should never have taken them. I took them. I go, okay.
376
00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:34.919
I had been coached on a little scene he wanted
377
00:16:34.940 --> 00:16:36.710
me to read. Now I walk in and do the
378
00:16:36.730 --> 00:16:39.779
police academy read again. Blah, blah, blah, read it. I leave.
379
00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:42.480
Gerwitz goes, all the people that just got a development
380
00:16:42.500 --> 00:16:45.440
deal at NBC take one step forward. Not so fast, Spade.
381
00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:47.720
I go, what do you mean? He goes, you were
382
00:16:47.740 --> 00:16:50.580
too green. They saw you ready. You're not ready. But
383
00:16:50.620 --> 00:16:52.019
they like you and they're going to keep an eye
384
00:16:52.039 --> 00:16:53.539
on you. And I go, so now what? He goes,
385
00:16:53.860 --> 00:16:55.779
now we hit the pavement and start auditioning. So I
386
00:16:55.820 --> 00:16:58.179
auditioned for 30 pilots that year and got none. Not
387
00:16:58.210 --> 00:16:59.950
even one callback. I didn't know what I was doing.
388
00:17:00.110 --> 00:17:00.309
Right.
389
00:17:00.809 --> 00:17:04.029
And then he goes, you know what? Fuck ICM. Let's
390
00:17:04.069 --> 00:17:07.109
leave them. Let's go to, there's a smaller agency, Abrams,
391
00:17:07.230 --> 00:17:08.109
which is medium, right?
392
00:17:08.130 --> 00:17:08.410
They're good.
393
00:17:08.630 --> 00:17:11.190
This guy loves you. And I was spinning out. I
394
00:17:11.289 --> 00:17:14.109
could not believe what was going on. I'm like, lost everything.
395
00:17:14.549 --> 00:17:17.109
Lost my heat. They all think I'm bad. And I
396
00:17:17.150 --> 00:17:19.589
got into classes to act. And then I was with
397
00:17:19.630 --> 00:17:23.470
this agency. And I swear to you, about three years ago,
398
00:17:24.289 --> 00:17:26.869
we're at dinner and Gervitz goes. And then ICM fucked
399
00:17:26.890 --> 00:17:29.130
him over and dropped him. And I go, no, no, no.
400
00:17:29.630 --> 00:17:31.970
I left ICM. Remember? He goes, oh, is that what
401
00:17:31.990 --> 00:17:35.700
I told you? And I go, no. What do you mean?
402
00:17:36.099 --> 00:17:38.289
Did they drop me? He goes, oh, yeah. I go, they,
403
00:17:38.349 --> 00:17:39.869
they dropped me. They're the ones that fucked me over.
404
00:17:39.910 --> 00:17:41.710
And he goes, I know. I couldn't tell you that though,
405
00:17:41.750 --> 00:17:43.859
because just a tough biz. They said, we don't need
406
00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:45.819
him anymore. He didn't, it didn't click. And I was like,
407
00:17:46.799 --> 00:17:47.980
I say, he goes, you wouldn't have made it. I
408
00:17:47.980 --> 00:17:50.000
handled that. I said, I would not have, there's no
409
00:17:50.039 --> 00:17:52.980
way I couldn't handle that. Just mentally. Like the rejection
410
00:17:53.000 --> 00:17:54.980
was so piled on by that point. I couldn't deal
411
00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:58.150
with it. So then I went and scraped my way
412
00:17:58.250 --> 00:18:00.829
over to, uh, you know, SNL or whatever.
413
00:18:00.950 --> 00:18:03.230
Well, I, I mentioned this the last time you were on,
414
00:18:03.250 --> 00:18:06.990
I was present when you auditioned, I went with, And
415
00:18:07.009 --> 00:18:09.309
this was not common, but I don't remember this actually. Yeah.
416
00:18:09.410 --> 00:18:12.529
I went with, uh, it was not common, but Lauren,
417
00:18:12.549 --> 00:18:13.430
there was a showcase.
418
00:18:13.849 --> 00:18:16.309
Yeah. And, uh, I can never say who was there.
419
00:18:16.329 --> 00:18:16.950
I can't remember.
420
00:18:16.990 --> 00:18:20.210
Yeah. Lauren. I remembered. I didn't go to a lot
421
00:18:20.250 --> 00:18:23.549
of these, but Lauren wanted me there for some, I
422
00:18:23.589 --> 00:18:28.710
was a writer at SNL, young whippersnapper and I hungry, hungry.
423
00:18:29.099 --> 00:18:32.380
I go with Lauren and Schneider, I think was the
424
00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:32.980
same night.
425
00:18:33.079 --> 00:18:33.200
Yeah.
426
00:18:33.539 --> 00:18:35.559
And the other guy was- Tom Kenny. Tom Kenny, the
427
00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:38.019
voice of, this is before he was the voice of
428
00:18:38.039 --> 00:18:39.559
SpongeBob and Mr.
429
00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:39.880
Show.
430
00:18:40.039 --> 00:18:43.819
And so, and watched you guys. And I remembered you
431
00:18:43.859 --> 00:18:47.049
were doing okay. And then at the end, you did
432
00:18:47.069 --> 00:18:50.049
your Michael J. Fox impression and get killed. And I
433
00:18:50.049 --> 00:18:54.569
remembered Lauren, us driving away and Lauren being like, you know,
434
00:18:54.710 --> 00:18:59.170
I liked the Michael J. Fox guy. And then he
435
00:18:59.210 --> 00:18:59.930
liked Schneider.
436
00:18:59.950 --> 00:19:00.210
So scary.
437
00:19:00.250 --> 00:19:02.579
And so he brought you two in at the same time.
438
00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:06.539
And then I remembered getting to know you really when
439
00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:09.140
it was those Tuesday nights when we would stay up
440
00:19:09.319 --> 00:19:13.880
all night and write and you and Chris Rock and
441
00:19:14.019 --> 00:19:17.279
Schneider would be kind of wandering around to see who
442
00:19:17.339 --> 00:19:19.160
had what ideas. Do you know what I mean? And
443
00:19:19.180 --> 00:19:22.279
you'd come in, you'd go like, hey fellas, anybody got any,
444
00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:24.059
hey buddy, got any ideas?
445
00:19:24.140 --> 00:19:25.099
Fucking help me.
446
00:19:25.099 --> 00:19:30.789
Out, man. But it's funny because I know you're, Your
447
00:19:30.809 --> 00:19:33.210
standup special is Dandelion and you have an explanation for
448
00:19:33.349 --> 00:19:36.920
why it's Dandelion, which is a little bit about your character.
449
00:19:36.940 --> 00:19:37.359
Fragile.
450
00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:41.079
Fragile on the inside, but I always found you, my
451
00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:44.789
read on you was always, this is a guy with,
452
00:19:45.390 --> 00:19:48.769
you always had that kind of tough, not tough, but
453
00:19:48.809 --> 00:19:53.890
I would say sarcastic. dismissive, super sharp. Shell. But I
454
00:19:53.910 --> 00:19:56.789
could always tell you were a very sweet guy underneath.
455
00:19:57.279 --> 00:19:59.710
I would say, yeah, I would say thank you. I
456
00:19:59.950 --> 00:20:02.359
kind of agree that it was so tough there.
457
00:20:02.859 --> 00:20:03.279
Scary.
458
00:20:03.420 --> 00:20:04.880
And it was tough. It's the same reason I was
459
00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:07.680
sarcastic in high school. I wasn't as scared of getting
460
00:20:07.700 --> 00:20:11.319
beat up at SNL, but in high school and grade school,
461
00:20:11.359 --> 00:20:13.339
it was, I was in some bad places that I
462
00:20:13.440 --> 00:20:16.099
didn't like. And so it was sort of my thing
463
00:20:16.180 --> 00:20:18.819
being a bit of a pipsqueak. So getting to SNL
464
00:20:18.839 --> 00:20:20.519
was the same thing. I'm just in over my head
465
00:20:20.740 --> 00:20:23.650
clearly and just trying to take it all in and
466
00:20:24.009 --> 00:20:26.430
going to doors going, I don't know what to do
467
00:20:26.529 --> 00:20:28.910
like here, you know, and like everyone, it just takes
468
00:20:28.990 --> 00:20:32.309
so long to, to seep in and then figure out
469
00:20:32.329 --> 00:20:34.299
how to write on that legal pad and all that shit.
470
00:20:35.819 --> 00:20:38.059
Yeah, that high-tech legal pad stuff.
471
00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:40.460
It's a pad and a pen, and you just go, go.
472
00:20:40.519 --> 00:20:42.609
And then the door closes, and I go, go do what?
473
00:20:42.789 --> 00:20:45.210
I write a sketch? Toontzes? I don't know. I don't
474
00:20:45.230 --> 00:20:48.170
write my own sketch. Do I write theirs? Who's the host?
475
00:20:48.190 --> 00:20:49.549
Do I get to meet a celebrity?
476
00:20:49.630 --> 00:20:51.089
The thing, I'm sure you guys have covered this on
477
00:20:51.109 --> 00:20:54.650
your podcast, but the thing about SNL that no one understands,
478
00:20:55.809 --> 00:20:57.519
and this is true of a lot of show business,
479
00:20:57.710 --> 00:20:59.400
how little supervision there is.
480
00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:00.059
Yeah.
481
00:21:00.460 --> 00:21:03.380
I mean... You get to SNL and you think someone's
482
00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:05.160
going to tell you, okay, here's how it works. No
483
00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:06.369
one tells you anything.
484
00:21:06.789 --> 00:21:08.170
They're almost mad you're there.
485
00:21:08.190 --> 00:21:09.250
Yeah.
486
00:21:09.490 --> 00:21:10.930
Oh, they are.
487
00:21:10.470 --> 00:21:14.029
Mad you're there. Lauren's standard line when you'd encounter them
488
00:21:14.049 --> 00:21:16.170
in the hall was, still with the show.
489
00:21:16.819 --> 00:21:18.660
Still with the show.
490
00:21:18.880 --> 00:21:21.160
And you'd think, I think I am.
491
00:21:25.640 --> 00:21:28.819
You know that idea you can't stop thinking about? The
492
00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:30.539
one you want to turn into a business.
493
00:21:31.559 --> 00:21:32.480
It's time.
494
00:21:33.119 --> 00:21:36.500
Shopify has everything you need to launch your website fast
495
00:21:36.759 --> 00:21:38.740
and sell everywhere customers shop.
496
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507
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see Vodafone.ie.
510
00:22:24.200 --> 00:22:24.940
The KCR.
511
00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:27.220
If ever there was a place in dire need of
512
00:22:27.259 --> 00:22:31.039
an avocado scanner, it's here. So we've put one in
513
00:22:31.059 --> 00:22:33.740
the new spa. No longer will locals have to merely
514
00:22:33.940 --> 00:22:37.799
guess the ripeness of their avocados. Not into avos? Well,
515
00:22:37.900 --> 00:22:41.700
there's bravado coffee, a deli, and a Subway too. Under
516
00:22:41.720 --> 00:22:43.859
the tree at the new spa KCR.
517
00:22:50.559 --> 00:22:53.359
I told Lauren when we talked to him on the show...
518
00:22:54.049 --> 00:22:55.289
Cause you know, it's a little easier to talk to
519
00:22:55.309 --> 00:22:57.289
him to Lauren now when all the stress is gone,
520
00:22:57.369 --> 00:23:00.589
it's fun to talk to. Cause every year he would
521
00:23:00.630 --> 00:23:03.490
talk to the managers or whatever and go, I don't know.
522
00:23:03.509 --> 00:23:06.630
So can they, can you just say he's coming back
523
00:23:06.670 --> 00:23:09.950
so he can keep his apartment? We're not there yet.
524
00:23:10.259 --> 00:23:12.059
So I would for six years, like.
525
00:23:12.519 --> 00:23:14.119
Lorne was the one that stole your car, by the way.
526
00:23:14.380 --> 00:23:15.440
Was it?
527
00:23:15.539 --> 00:23:18.559
Oh, it's a Honda Accord. I love those. Someone give
528
00:23:18.579 --> 00:23:20.140
me a ruler. I'll jimmy it open.
529
00:23:20.279 --> 00:23:21.319
Take that, prick.
530
00:23:22.619 --> 00:23:24.700
I know how to hotwire it. I learned it in
531
00:23:24.799 --> 00:23:26.579
Toronto at university.
532
00:23:27.140 --> 00:23:28.500
Things just got worse for you.
533
00:23:31.720 --> 00:23:34.369
I love that that was revealed later on, too. Miss
534
00:23:34.390 --> 00:23:35.089
your Honda?
535
00:23:35.289 --> 00:23:35.750
Lorne!
536
00:23:35.829 --> 00:23:39.950
Lorne! You hold me back. I thought Gervitz told you.
537
00:23:42.069 --> 00:23:46.809
I put the drop on you at ICM. So anyway,
538
00:23:47.789 --> 00:23:49.130
I says, I says, I says.
539
00:23:49.150 --> 00:23:52.650
I forgot you were an old sailor.
540
00:23:52.730 --> 00:23:54.910
I says, I says, I says. Remember that Farley bit?
541
00:23:55.150 --> 00:23:56.680
I says, I says to him, I says right to
542
00:23:56.720 --> 00:23:58.460
his face, I says, I says, I says, I says.
543
00:23:58.579 --> 00:24:01.140
And I'm like, I go afterwards at read through, I go,
544
00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:03.220
you're not really going to do this on update.
545
00:24:03.559 --> 00:24:03.759
Yeah.
546
00:24:03.900 --> 00:24:04.539
Oh yeah, I am.
547
00:24:04.740 --> 00:24:04.980
Yeah.
548
00:24:05.099 --> 00:24:07.680
I go, is that enough to kill with one, three words?
549
00:24:07.700 --> 00:24:08.009
No, no, no.
550
00:24:09.299 --> 00:24:13.460
Watch. And I did, and he did. But anyway, I
551
00:24:13.500 --> 00:24:15.420
tell Lorne every year he doesn't bring it back, and
552
00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:16.740
every year I have to get ready. I drag my
553
00:24:16.779 --> 00:24:18.839
mattress down. I have to sell it. I fucking get
554
00:24:18.859 --> 00:24:21.480
out of my apartment. Then about a month later, can't
555
00:24:21.529 --> 00:24:23.289
get a hold of him. He's in Amagansett. No phones.
556
00:24:23.309 --> 00:24:24.829
I mean, it's always the funniest. I can't get a
557
00:24:24.829 --> 00:24:27.210
hold of him. Then he finally goes, he says yes.
558
00:24:27.569 --> 00:24:30.150
So I go back in the apartment and stress out
559
00:24:30.170 --> 00:24:32.470
of my fucking gourd. And then when we had him
560
00:24:32.490 --> 00:24:35.220
on the show, he goes, you were never in any
561
00:24:35.259 --> 00:24:36.539
danger of getting fired.
562
00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:38.079
Lorne.
563
00:24:39.130 --> 00:24:43.170
Look at me. There was some danger because maybe in
564
00:24:43.210 --> 00:24:44.970
your head, because it all, it did work out, but
565
00:24:45.019 --> 00:24:45.680
it took a while.
566
00:24:45.720 --> 00:24:46.059
You were there.
567
00:24:46.079 --> 00:24:47.980
It took a while for me to get any, you know,
568
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:49.740
you get a few snarky lines here and there, but
569
00:24:49.839 --> 00:24:54.440
I was not that valuable. I remember one time Schmeigel said, uh, Schmeigel, Schmeigel.
570
00:24:55.369 --> 00:24:58.089
Schmeigel is from Lord of the Rings and he's the
571
00:24:58.130 --> 00:25:02.089
lowliest creature. Um, and then, uh, and then there's Robert
572
00:25:02.109 --> 00:25:04.650
Schmeigel who's also in, uh.
573
00:25:05.380 --> 00:25:09.339
And so Smig says, because Schneider was acting up for something,
574
00:25:09.400 --> 00:25:12.200
and Rob and I have talked about this forever, but
575
00:25:12.220 --> 00:25:15.950
we were all handling it differently. And he goes, Schneider's tough,
576
00:25:15.990 --> 00:25:19.049
but he is valuable. Worth having around. And I was like,
577
00:25:19.490 --> 00:25:20.789
I want to be valuable. That's what hit me. I
578
00:25:20.789 --> 00:25:23.369
was like, oh, you want someone to say in a
579
00:25:23.750 --> 00:25:27.230
position like Smigel was, like, we need you around. Because
580
00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:30.539
he can go to Lauren, Rob, and he'll go, yeah,
581
00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:33.480
he's worth it. Because Rob is a funny writer, you know?
582
00:25:33.660 --> 00:25:33.859
Yeah.
583
00:25:34.140 --> 00:25:37.309
And he had kind of a gruff, abrasive personality back then,
584
00:25:37.349 --> 00:25:41.000
if that's fair. But I was a nice guy finishing
585
00:25:41.059 --> 00:25:43.500
last guy. And Rob was like, hey, I'm going to
586
00:25:43.539 --> 00:25:44.960
get in there. But it was working, you know?
587
00:25:45.119 --> 00:25:49.160
You know, everyone... Stuff gets rewritten over time and everybody.
588
00:25:49.220 --> 00:25:50.059
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
589
00:25:50.700 --> 00:25:53.000
And there's how you experience it. And this is actually
590
00:25:53.019 --> 00:25:55.829
kind of a big... A recurring theme on the podcast
591
00:25:55.869 --> 00:25:58.869
that fascinates me, so I revisit it a lot, which
592
00:25:58.970 --> 00:26:01.710
is I talk to these very famous people who've had
593
00:26:01.750 --> 00:26:07.180
incredible success, like yourself, and then... Their take on it
594
00:26:08.019 --> 00:26:11.960
is harrowing. I felt like I wasn't gonna make it.
595
00:26:12.019 --> 00:26:16.480
It was scary. It was touch and go. I squeaked
596
00:26:16.559 --> 00:26:19.220
by and then in the end, things kind of worked out.
597
00:26:19.599 --> 00:26:22.720
But that is not how anybody else sees it. They
598
00:26:22.769 --> 00:26:25.250
just see you as being someone who is like, okay,
599
00:26:25.309 --> 00:26:29.269
big star on SNL and then in movies and then
600
00:26:31.650 --> 00:26:36.450
many TVs, sitcom, you're just like a staple. Yeah. But
601
00:26:36.490 --> 00:26:39.259
that is not how it feels to you.
602
00:26:39.339 --> 00:26:42.579
I think it, in fairness, I'm pretty objective about it.
603
00:26:42.579 --> 00:26:44.720
I mean, most of the things I say are lies,
604
00:26:44.759 --> 00:26:49.819
but when I look back, it was pretty, it was
605
00:26:49.859 --> 00:26:52.460
hard for me to get a foothold. I mean, obviously
606
00:26:52.509 --> 00:26:55.349
Sandler caught fire pretty quick and he's got so many moves,
607
00:26:55.369 --> 00:26:59.630
all these characters, Spoonman, everything was happening so fast. I
608
00:26:59.630 --> 00:27:04.700
was like, holy shit, he really came in loaded. And like, Dana, obviously,
609
00:27:04.720 --> 00:27:06.720
is so good on the show. And Farley, right from
610
00:27:06.740 --> 00:27:09.420
the get-go. So I just didn't have that. I was
611
00:27:09.460 --> 00:27:13.180
sort of just a comedian that could write some funny stuff,
612
00:27:13.220 --> 00:27:16.470
but it took a while. By the end, I do
613
00:27:16.509 --> 00:27:18.710
like I'm lumped in with Farley, Sandler Rock. I mean,
614
00:27:18.750 --> 00:27:19.710
that's just kind of how it is.
615
00:27:19.869 --> 00:27:20.049
Yeah.
616
00:27:20.289 --> 00:27:22.349
And I love it. So when I was just on
617
00:27:22.390 --> 00:27:25.069
a show, Rich Eisen, this morning, I mentioned you because
618
00:27:25.109 --> 00:27:27.839
I was saying that that chunk when I got there
619
00:27:28.480 --> 00:27:32.660
of talent around, which made me better, was... running with
620
00:27:32.700 --> 00:27:34.940
people better than you. And I said, Conan and Smigel
621
00:27:34.980 --> 00:27:37.480
and I think Greg Daniels and, uh, and all these
622
00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:40.079
writers and Downey and, you know, I could go on
623
00:27:40.099 --> 00:27:42.000
and on Frank and, and then you got Neil and
624
00:27:42.019 --> 00:27:44.259
all the cast and Mike Myers and our new guys
625
00:27:44.299 --> 00:27:46.779
coming in with me and Adam and Chris and Chris
626
00:27:46.859 --> 00:27:50.039
Rock and Meadows and shit. So that was just a
627
00:27:50.200 --> 00:27:54.000
big chunk of people that you could look to anyone
628
00:27:54.019 --> 00:27:55.619
and go, oh, I can learn something from this guy.
629
00:27:55.640 --> 00:27:56.759
I can learn how to write, or I can learn
630
00:27:56.779 --> 00:27:59.009
how to perform or look at the table read. It
631
00:27:59.069 --> 00:28:00.869
took a while to seep in and then I got
632
00:28:00.930 --> 00:28:03.839
better at it, but man, Every... I could have gotten...
633
00:28:03.900 --> 00:28:05.490
If I left in a year, I told Gervais I
634
00:28:05.509 --> 00:28:07.789
wanted to leave once. He goes, then what? I mean,
635
00:28:07.809 --> 00:28:10.269
where do you go? You left SNL and it didn't work. Now,
636
00:28:10.849 --> 00:28:13.029
that's a hard place to be in Hollywood.
637
00:28:13.130 --> 00:28:13.329
Yeah.
638
00:28:13.809 --> 00:28:16.450
And so, he said, just stick... Even when I wanted
639
00:28:16.490 --> 00:28:19.289
to quit to do movies, he's like, you're getting movies
640
00:28:19.410 --> 00:28:21.470
only because you're on SNL. Do you understand? I go, well,
641
00:28:21.490 --> 00:28:22.789
I don't have any time to do them. Maybe one
642
00:28:22.809 --> 00:28:26.210
in the summer. He's like, but if you leave, it's
643
00:28:26.230 --> 00:28:27.150
hard to explain, but it's true.
644
00:28:27.430 --> 00:28:27.630
Yeah.
645
00:28:27.809 --> 00:28:28.069
You know?
646
00:28:28.109 --> 00:28:28.549
How did you.
647
00:28:28.690 --> 00:28:32.650
I'm curious because I remember... I was at your audition
648
00:28:32.670 --> 00:28:37.450
and I also clearly remember, it's burned into my brain,
649
00:28:38.130 --> 00:28:42.599
going into Lauren's outer office on the ninth floor, which
650
00:28:42.619 --> 00:28:46.680
is one floor above 8H, his little office that looks
651
00:28:46.799 --> 00:28:47.940
out over the studio.
652
00:28:47.960 --> 00:28:52.200
And there was a- Watch as the cows graze.
653
00:28:51.819 --> 00:28:55.839
On the fucking rehearsal. Really, yeah. But it's, that's like
654
00:28:55.880 --> 00:28:58.140
the office that he moves to later in the week.
655
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:01.180
That's not the office high up in the tower. Um,
656
00:29:01.619 --> 00:29:04.559
and so when everything shifts to this stage for the
657
00:29:04.599 --> 00:29:07.920
second half of the week, uh, Lauren's there. And I
658
00:29:07.960 --> 00:29:10.890
remembered there would always be people waiting outside to meet
659
00:29:10.910 --> 00:29:12.589
with Lauren and Lauren would keep them forever. And I
660
00:29:12.630 --> 00:29:15.210
have a very clear memory of this kind of stout,
661
00:29:15.390 --> 00:29:20.490
boyish looking, tousled haired guy sitting out on this couch,
662
00:29:20.650 --> 00:29:24.130
waiting to talk to Lauren for like more than a day.
663
00:29:24.150 --> 00:29:27.390
And I went up and chatted with him because he
664
00:29:27.410 --> 00:29:29.500
was Odenkirk's friend and it was Chris Farley.
665
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:30.039
Oh.
666
00:29:30.380 --> 00:29:32.460
And then, and he was sitting there and he was
667
00:29:32.519 --> 00:29:36.170
super eager and he was laughing real hard. And I would,
668
00:29:36.250 --> 00:29:37.990
and so I took him on a tour of the
669
00:29:38.049 --> 00:29:40.299
stage and was doing that shtick I used to do
670
00:29:40.339 --> 00:29:42.940
where I would, if someone was already hanging a lamp,
671
00:29:43.460 --> 00:29:47.099
I'd be like, and hang that lamp. And you over there, Joe.
672
00:29:47.140 --> 00:29:48.980
I went, I was saying all their names wrong. And
673
00:29:49.019 --> 00:29:51.019
if the guy was on a crane, use the crane,
674
00:29:51.059 --> 00:29:54.319
that's the way. And Farley was following me around giggling.
675
00:29:54.359 --> 00:29:55.400
He would laugh his ass off.
676
00:29:55.519 --> 00:29:57.180
And he was, and I just said, I love this.
677
00:29:57.970 --> 00:30:00.789
he had the energy of a puppy when you first
678
00:30:00.809 --> 00:30:04.539
go get the puppy, just so much fun. And then
679
00:30:04.559 --> 00:30:07.839
you guys found, was it the two of you that
680
00:30:07.900 --> 00:30:10.099
realized we have this thing or did someone else see
681
00:30:10.119 --> 00:30:12.720
it and go, wait a minute, you've got this energy
682
00:30:13.019 --> 00:30:16.279
of Spade and you've got this energy of Farley, it's
683
00:30:16.359 --> 00:30:18.079
peanut butter and jelly, let's put them together.
684
00:30:18.700 --> 00:30:21.609
Yeah, it was probably, it was either Lorne or the
685
00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:23.849
Turners because the writing team.
686
00:30:23.890 --> 00:30:26.150
Bonnie and Terry Turner, great writing team, yeah.
687
00:30:26.720 --> 00:30:29.450
Writer i forgot to say those two uh but you
688
00:30:29.490 --> 00:30:33.529
know lauren's like maybe something about how they are at
689
00:30:33.569 --> 00:30:35.250
the office i think that's how it all started like
690
00:30:35.829 --> 00:30:37.930
i make fun of chris he laughs tells me to
691
00:30:37.950 --> 00:30:40.299
make fun of him again he laughs just we walk
692
00:30:40.339 --> 00:30:42.420
around we go to moose on franks or whatever we
693
00:30:42.759 --> 00:30:46.579
not moose and franks wally and joseph yeah yeah in
694
00:30:46.640 --> 00:30:50.279
new york yeah and uh huxley's and all the places
695
00:30:50.299 --> 00:30:52.089
that have been condemned now but.
696
00:30:52.029 --> 00:30:54.769
Um In front of us, they were condemned then. You
697
00:30:55.390 --> 00:30:56.490
just still went to them.
698
00:30:57.470 --> 00:31:02.119
Yeah. Anyway, so then Billy III got written up, that one,
699
00:31:02.220 --> 00:31:04.940
with the Turners wrote that first draft. And then I
700
00:31:05.720 --> 00:31:07.980
think turned it over to Fred Wolf, turned it into
701
00:31:08.039 --> 00:31:10.819
Tommy Boy. But that was also because Billy was Billy
702
00:31:10.839 --> 00:31:12.289
Madison that summer.
703
00:31:12.609 --> 00:31:16.589
That's so funny. I'm curious about something. Tommy Boy comes
704
00:31:16.769 --> 00:31:21.690
out and... not thought of as a success initially, but
705
00:31:21.730 --> 00:31:26.069
then very quickly afterwards, you find out that it's huge.
706
00:31:26.269 --> 00:31:26.829
Is that correct?
707
00:31:27.009 --> 00:31:29.710
I think it opened number one, but not crazy through
708
00:31:29.730 --> 00:31:30.009
the roof.
709
00:31:30.230 --> 00:31:30.430
Right.
710
00:31:30.589 --> 00:31:36.049
And then, and then after time, it was looked upon
711
00:31:36.509 --> 00:31:37.970
more fondly over time, but.
712
00:31:37.849 --> 00:31:40.430
Then it went to video. But like the video sales
713
00:31:40.470 --> 00:31:40.779
were insane.
714
00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:41.759
I think it went to a hundred million.
715
00:31:41.779 --> 00:31:41.920
Yeah.
716
00:31:41.940 --> 00:31:45.500
They said the Paramount goes, this video, they ordered black
717
00:31:45.539 --> 00:31:48.119
sheep after Tommy boy for the following summer. They're like,
718
00:31:48.529 --> 00:31:51.789
Start now. We got to do another one. Maybe while
719
00:31:51.849 --> 00:31:54.650
we were before it came out because we shot it
720
00:31:54.670 --> 00:31:57.910
the next summer. So if I could still be doing those,
721
00:31:57.930 --> 00:31:58.690
that was the funnest.
722
00:31:58.710 --> 00:32:02.809
You know, I leave SNL, go to the Simpsons. I
723
00:32:02.849 --> 00:32:08.640
come back and Chris would you just sign that? That's great.
724
00:32:08.660 --> 00:32:12.359
That's worth less. I'm just trying to remember how I
725
00:32:12.380 --> 00:32:15.740
know you. The more you tell me are more clues.
726
00:32:15.779 --> 00:32:20.400
Worthless.
727
00:32:21.259 --> 00:32:24.720
I come back to do the late night show and
728
00:32:25.339 --> 00:32:28.279
you guys were all so generous and nice. I mean,
729
00:32:28.319 --> 00:32:30.640
I'm the new late night host. I'm down on six
730
00:32:31.069 --> 00:32:33.309
and I know all you guys. And so you're all
731
00:32:33.369 --> 00:32:37.410
coming down doing bits. Chris would come down and do bits,
732
00:32:38.130 --> 00:32:41.359
which I look at now and they just... They fill
733
00:32:41.380 --> 00:32:44.359
me with joy. They also make me sad because he's
734
00:32:44.380 --> 00:32:45.049
not here.
735
00:32:45.069 --> 00:32:46.789
The one where he runs in on Letterman I see
736
00:32:46.809 --> 00:32:48.509
a lot on Instagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He runs down
737
00:32:48.529 --> 00:32:50.190
and grabs a guy and he throws him the garbage can.
738
00:32:50.250 --> 00:32:50.970
Yes, yeah, yeah.
739
00:32:51.269 --> 00:32:53.589
Unreal. That was one of the best pieces of television
740
00:32:53.630 --> 00:32:54.289
I've ever seen.
741
00:32:54.349 --> 00:32:54.589
Fantastic.
742
00:32:54.670 --> 00:32:58.160
It's so funny. Probably not super thought out. He's wearing
743
00:32:58.180 --> 00:33:00.819
a thick suit. The funny thing is he would wear
744
00:33:00.859 --> 00:33:04.519
like a t-shirt, then a shirt, then a button down,
745
00:33:04.539 --> 00:33:07.200
then a tie, then an overcoat, then a cashmere. I'm like,
746
00:33:07.500 --> 00:33:10.200
God damn, dude, how do you move? Because my neck
747
00:33:10.259 --> 00:33:12.359
is fucked up. I can't wear more than two layers.
748
00:33:12.720 --> 00:33:15.740
He has layers. I'd like to feel tight and hugged.
749
00:33:15.779 --> 00:33:19.069
I'm like, God damn. And then he's running and he's sweating.
750
00:33:19.109 --> 00:33:20.789
I'm like, he's like, why am I sweating? I'm like,
751
00:33:20.869 --> 00:33:22.210
you have 14 layers on.
752
00:33:22.230 --> 00:33:26.069
That's the other thing funny too is that he got
753
00:33:26.190 --> 00:33:31.650
tagged as the funny fat guy, but he was incredibly
754
00:33:31.789 --> 00:33:35.289
athletic and strong and Do you know what I mean? Yeah,
755
00:33:35.309 --> 00:33:35.509
he was.
756
00:33:35.809 --> 00:33:36.410
Agile.
757
00:33:36.470 --> 00:33:38.930
Yeah, and he could do all these amazing things with
758
00:33:38.970 --> 00:33:40.779
his body. And I think in the same way, his
759
00:33:40.910 --> 00:33:46.740
hero Belushi, because he was paired with a beanpole Ackroyd
760
00:33:46.759 --> 00:33:49.880
at the time or whatever, you could think of him
761
00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:55.039
as the heavy guy of the duo. But I remembered
762
00:33:55.099 --> 00:33:58.480
him being just such an incredibly physical comedian.
763
00:33:58.500 --> 00:34:01.079
Yeah, I think it's an extra move that, is surprising
764
00:34:01.119 --> 00:34:03.160
to people, but it's one more funny thing about him. Like,
765
00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:06.240
he can do those pirouettes. We did that skating sketch, remember?
766
00:34:06.579 --> 00:34:06.759
Yep.
767
00:34:07.099 --> 00:34:10.530
Bump up the jam, they will. And it was like,
768
00:34:10.570 --> 00:34:13.610
Phil was Vern Lindquist or something, and I was Scott Hamilton,
769
00:34:13.650 --> 00:34:17.250
and it was Nancy Kerrigan's show. And Farley and Nancy Kerrigan,
770
00:34:17.329 --> 00:34:19.969
and he kept falling. Oh, that's going to hurt him.
771
00:34:20.389 --> 00:34:23.670
He kept falling over and over, and he got down to, like,
772
00:34:23.730 --> 00:34:26.219
zero points. But he was a really good skater, too,
773
00:34:26.300 --> 00:34:28.139
and so it was funny that he could skate well,
774
00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:30.869
and you go, oh, that's a surprising... And then when
775
00:34:30.889 --> 00:34:33.869
he does any sort of like ballet, he can do
776
00:34:33.909 --> 00:34:36.429
these weird moves. All adds to the funny.
777
00:34:36.820 --> 00:34:37.030
Yeah.
778
00:34:37.360 --> 00:34:40.420
Yeah. Well, he is missed. It must be. I mean,
779
00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:45.159
I know that you had an incredibly close relationship with him.
780
00:34:45.539 --> 00:34:50.340
I miss him and knew him as like a friend
781
00:34:50.530 --> 00:34:52.250
and a guy that I would do things with from
782
00:34:52.289 --> 00:34:56.650
time to time. But clearly it was a must. I
783
00:34:56.690 --> 00:34:59.630
hope time has made that. I'm sure an easier thing
784
00:34:59.650 --> 00:35:00.489
to handle. Yeah.
785
00:35:00.530 --> 00:35:02.050
I mean, we were all pretty close to them. And
786
00:35:02.110 --> 00:35:06.309
so any of that stuff. I remember one time he goes,
787
00:35:06.590 --> 00:35:09.210
I don't want to be known as the funny fat guy.
788
00:35:09.269 --> 00:35:12.610
I go, would you take the fat funny guy? And
789
00:35:12.630 --> 00:35:16.599
he said, it's a little better. But I remember seeing
790
00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:20.820
you at another, there's another sad, Norm's Memorial.
791
00:35:20.940 --> 00:35:21.219
Yeah.
792
00:35:21.460 --> 00:35:26.070
Where something did happen funny. Not the dying part, but
793
00:35:26.090 --> 00:35:29.050
there was other stuff that was going on. By the way,
794
00:35:29.059 --> 00:35:30.679
it was like brought to you by Netflix. It was
795
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:33.079
something because I remember going to the talk and there
796
00:35:33.099 --> 00:35:35.400
was like a crane shot or something. I'm starting to
797
00:35:35.460 --> 00:35:36.699
cry and they're like, push in.
798
00:35:36.929 --> 00:35:37.130
I'm like.
799
00:35:37.780 --> 00:35:39.800
Is there a camera dolly coming at me?
800
00:35:39.800 --> 00:35:41.599
What was that? I spoke. I don't know if I
801
00:35:41.619 --> 00:35:45.659
was emceeing it. You can't emcee a funeral. You know
802
00:35:45.699 --> 00:35:46.719
what's funny?
803
00:35:47.059 --> 00:35:49.079
It always just turns into that. Let's be honest.
804
00:35:49.099 --> 00:35:50.059
No, no, no. It's true.
805
00:35:50.079 --> 00:35:51.719
It turns into.
806
00:35:51.380 --> 00:35:55.400
Who's doing well. I spoke about him up front and
807
00:35:55.539 --> 00:35:59.260
talked about him and then brought other people up on stage.
808
00:35:59.909 --> 00:36:02.630
The two things that I remember are Laurie Jo is
809
00:36:02.670 --> 00:36:04.570
sort of running it or whatever. And I said, Laurie Jo,
810
00:36:04.590 --> 00:36:06.670
she goes, can you speak? And I said, I'm not
811
00:36:06.730 --> 00:36:07.989
good at that. I said, I would do it if
812
00:36:08.010 --> 00:36:09.690
I just do it right away up front because I
813
00:36:09.710 --> 00:36:14.000
don't want to sit there and rot while thinking of, oh, no.
814
00:36:14.019 --> 00:36:18.199
So she goes, okay. It was like Downey went up,
815
00:36:18.219 --> 00:36:21.280
standing ovation. I'm going to bring Conan up, standing ovation.
816
00:36:21.800 --> 00:36:23.659
Laurie Jo goes, then I think you bring her up.
817
00:36:23.739 --> 00:36:26.369
She gets a standing ovation. And then we finally get
818
00:36:26.409 --> 00:36:28.489
back to you and you finally go, all right, we're
819
00:36:28.510 --> 00:36:30.469
going to bring up some friends, David Spade. And so
820
00:36:30.530 --> 00:36:31.849
I hooked up and I go, well, I guess the
821
00:36:31.869 --> 00:36:33.309
standing ovation portion is over.
822
00:36:34.079 --> 00:36:35.559
Because I was the first- Which killed, by the way.
823
00:36:35.579 --> 00:36:38.739
Yeah, that was a good one. I should have gotten off. Honestly,
824
00:36:38.760 --> 00:36:41.000
that was the fucking funniest thing that happened. But when
825
00:36:41.039 --> 00:36:43.239
I walked up, I fell on those fucking stairs.
826
00:36:43.559 --> 00:36:43.639
Oh.
827
00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:45.800
And you caught me, I think. And you grabbed me.
828
00:36:45.969 --> 00:36:47.190
And I think you fell, too.
829
00:36:47.289 --> 00:36:49.250
Yeah, I'll tell you. I know exactly what happened.
830
00:36:49.269 --> 00:36:49.929
Yeah.
831
00:36:50.110 --> 00:36:52.010
We're in this goofy, I don't know what venue we
832
00:36:52.030 --> 00:36:56.349
were at, where we were. But you went up. You
833
00:36:56.389 --> 00:36:57.250
tripped on the stairs.
834
00:36:57.269 --> 00:36:57.349
Yeah.
835
00:36:57.429 --> 00:36:59.630
I think I did catch you. You don't weigh a lot,
836
00:36:59.809 --> 00:37:01.929
so that was easy. It was like catching a packing peanut.
837
00:37:01.929 --> 00:37:02.010
94.
838
00:37:02.010 --> 00:37:02.110
Yeah.
839
00:37:02.110 --> 00:37:07.179
90, I don't know. That's generous, 94.
840
00:37:07.179 --> 00:37:07.639
Kilos.
841
00:37:08.239 --> 00:37:11.300
You fell and you started to float and I grabbed you.
842
00:37:11.320 --> 00:37:12.420
You're like a balloon.
843
00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:12.880
Yeah.
844
00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:15.650
But then I thought, what's wrong with Spade? Why did
845
00:37:15.670 --> 00:37:18.670
he trip on that step? So then cut to me.
846
00:37:18.769 --> 00:37:19.989
What's wrong with Spade?
847
00:37:20.010 --> 00:37:22.769
What's wrong with fucking Spade? He can't walk upstairs? He's
848
00:37:22.829 --> 00:37:26.489
falling apart. So then you do your thing. I go
849
00:37:26.659 --> 00:37:29.179
up to then take the stage again to bring up
850
00:37:29.199 --> 00:37:33.579
the next person. My foot catches on something on the
851
00:37:33.639 --> 00:37:35.739
step and I trip and I turned it into like
852
00:37:35.780 --> 00:37:37.940
a roll and stood up again and people thought, oh,
853
00:37:37.980 --> 00:37:41.860
Conan's doing like physical shtick. But then I walked off
854
00:37:41.920 --> 00:37:46.909
stage and I said to the guy, that step, Spade
855
00:37:46.989 --> 00:37:48.250
tripped on it and I tripped on it. And the
856
00:37:48.269 --> 00:37:50.789
guy went, yeah, that happens a lot. We should fix
857
00:37:50.869 --> 00:37:51.730
that someday.
858
00:37:51.969 --> 00:37:52.449
Yeah, he knew.
859
00:37:52.469 --> 00:37:55.550
He said we should fix that someday. And I'm like, yeah,
860
00:37:55.570 --> 00:37:59.530
what happens when Dame Judi Dench is killed? I mean,
861
00:37:59.650 --> 00:38:02.380
the two of us can take a fall. You know,
862
00:38:02.519 --> 00:38:04.099
what happens when it's the.
863
00:38:04.619 --> 00:38:06.800
It was pretty funny to me that he kept going, like,
864
00:38:06.980 --> 00:38:09.429
it felt like most people trip. And I'm like, well,
865
00:38:09.909 --> 00:38:12.929
this isn't an anomaly. Like with me, I look over
866
00:38:13.070 --> 00:38:16.050
and thought he'd be like this. He was like this. Like, yep,
867
00:38:16.309 --> 00:38:17.429
another one bites the dust.
868
00:38:17.489 --> 00:38:20.010
Another one, yeah. And then he said like, I went
869
00:38:20.050 --> 00:38:21.329
into it with him a little bit. I went, what
870
00:38:21.349 --> 00:38:22.789
do you mean? And he was like, well, you know,
871
00:38:23.170 --> 00:38:26.570
it's higher than the other steps. Like each other step
872
00:38:26.690 --> 00:38:29.130
is exactly four inches. So you're used to like this, this, this. Yeah,
873
00:38:29.210 --> 00:38:31.190
and then there's one that's like five and he said,
874
00:38:31.230 --> 00:38:35.070
and it's also uneven and it's coming off. And you're like,
875
00:38:35.150 --> 00:38:35.829
fix it!
876
00:38:36.409 --> 00:38:37.449
And there's also an earthquake.
877
00:38:37.550 --> 00:38:38.469
That's not my union.
878
00:38:38.789 --> 00:38:41.440
Yeah, I mean. I don't know how many of these
879
00:38:41.480 --> 00:38:44.760
funerals you host, but you did a good job.
880
00:38:45.460 --> 00:38:48.860
You know what's weird? I became the funeral guy because
881
00:38:48.929 --> 00:38:53.289
I've done a bunch. Oh, boy. And I really fret
882
00:38:53.409 --> 00:38:57.489
over them and worry about them because it's not just
883
00:38:57.530 --> 00:38:59.530
a regular thing. You're really trying to think of who
884
00:38:59.570 --> 00:39:02.780
was this person. And now they're starting to rack up
885
00:39:02.880 --> 00:39:05.150
where it's like, I've, I've done a bunch.
886
00:39:05.210 --> 00:39:05.690
Too many.
887
00:39:05.730 --> 00:39:05.969
It's hard.
888
00:39:06.010 --> 00:39:07.659
You're good at that stuff. You're doing the Pope's.
889
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:09.440
I'm doing the Pope's.
890
00:39:09.639 --> 00:39:12.719
Is the Pope's going to be in LA? Can you
891
00:39:12.739 --> 00:39:14.300
get me in? This is my friends always want to
892
00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:16.530
get tickets to shit. Can you get me in?
893
00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:17.980
I just have to tell this one story, which is
894
00:39:18.119 --> 00:39:21.409
I have to tell this cause it's a Lauren story, but, but, um,
895
00:39:22.630 --> 00:39:24.329
after nine 11, you know, there was like months and
896
00:39:24.349 --> 00:39:26.530
months and months of cleanup and it was an area
897
00:39:26.550 --> 00:39:29.420
that you couldn't go to, but sometimes people went, down
898
00:39:29.460 --> 00:39:33.440
there and Mike Sweeney ran into Lauren somewhere and Lauren
899
00:39:33.460 --> 00:39:35.900
knew that Mike Sweeney was my head writer and they're
900
00:39:35.920 --> 00:39:39.420
chatting for a little bit. And then Lauren, to be magnanimous, said,
901
00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:44.039
have you been down to Ground Zero? And Mike Sweeney went, no,
902
00:39:44.099 --> 00:39:46.590
I haven't. He went, would you like to? And suddenly
903
00:39:46.610 --> 00:39:52.309
Sweeney pictured a velvet rope And you are a Sweeney,
904
00:39:52.329 --> 00:39:55.449
but look, yes, yes, right this way. And there's the
905
00:39:55.489 --> 00:39:56.110
big pit.
906
00:39:56.510 --> 00:39:58.489
We called ahead, yeah.
907
00:39:58.769 --> 00:40:00.650
I'll have the veal, and I'd like to be near
908
00:40:01.030 --> 00:40:01.630
that part of.
909
00:40:01.690 --> 00:40:04.309
What I kept saying, which was never working, was I
910
00:40:04.329 --> 00:40:07.400
might head down to Ground Zilch. And everyone's like, where
911
00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:09.920
am I on Ground Zip? And they're like, are you
912
00:40:09.940 --> 00:40:12.119
talking about the 9-11 where people died? I go, no, no,
913
00:40:12.119 --> 00:40:15.579
I'm talking about something else. But that was tragic. But yeah,
914
00:40:15.619 --> 00:40:17.320
I went down there like a week later because there's
915
00:40:17.380 --> 00:40:20.610
a 9-11... where we all flew in and there was
916
00:40:20.650 --> 00:40:21.289
a concert.
917
00:40:21.349 --> 00:40:21.889
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
918
00:40:21.949 --> 00:40:24.829
Adam went on, everyone went on. And they took us down.
919
00:40:24.869 --> 00:40:26.030
That was one of the perks.
920
00:40:27.429 --> 00:40:28.389
Oh my God.
921
00:40:28.670 --> 00:40:28.949
It is.
922
00:40:29.510 --> 00:40:30.289
It was a weird time.
923
00:40:30.309 --> 00:40:31.010
It was so weird.
924
00:40:31.070 --> 00:40:32.079
It was such a crazy time to be in.
925
00:40:32.150 --> 00:40:33.789
It was like a humble brag.
926
00:40:33.889 --> 00:40:34.530
I went down, yeah.
927
00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:35.530
Yeah, yeah.
928
00:40:35.659 --> 00:40:36.449
Do you get close?
929
00:40:36.989 --> 00:40:37.219
Yeah.
930
00:40:37.679 --> 00:40:41.019
I got a little souvenir. But 9-11, yeah, I know
931
00:40:41.039 --> 00:40:45.219
you think it's funny. It's not funny. But my friends,
932
00:40:45.500 --> 00:40:51.250
my friends, it's noted that you laugh. My friends go- Sona, Sona.
933
00:40:51.269 --> 00:40:52.570
What the fuck is wrong with you?
934
00:40:52.590 --> 00:40:53.309
God, it's so funny.
935
00:40:53.329 --> 00:40:56.099
You're a monster. I'm crying. We're doing a thing about
936
00:40:56.139 --> 00:41:01.059
how it's not funny. Yes. And then you start laughing. No,
937
00:41:01.079 --> 00:41:03.820
it is awful. You're young and stuff, but we lived there.
938
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:05.300
He said ground zilch.
939
00:41:05.389 --> 00:41:06.389
Yeah, that was funny to me.
940
00:41:06.389 --> 00:41:08.610
So let's not forget. He said ground zilch.
941
00:41:08.690 --> 00:41:11.090
No, let's not forget. Never forget. It means 9-11.
942
00:41:11.110 --> 00:41:11.809
Yeah, yeah.
943
00:41:11.889 --> 00:41:14.949
Not that David Spade called it ground zilch. Never forget.
944
00:41:14.969 --> 00:41:16.150
Let's never forget.
945
00:41:16.389 --> 00:41:17.010
Never forget.
946
00:41:17.030 --> 00:41:19.909
The terrible day? No, that Spade called it ground zilch.
947
00:41:20.750 --> 00:41:21.550
You're a monster.
948
00:41:21.590 --> 00:41:23.090
Come on.
949
00:41:23.130 --> 00:41:24.130
Let me ask you about Norm.
950
00:41:25.630 --> 00:41:25.989
Okay.
951
00:41:26.210 --> 00:41:29.230
You did stuff on... you were on the road with
952
00:41:29.329 --> 00:41:33.590
Norm and a lot of us when Norm passed were shocked.
953
00:41:34.710 --> 00:41:37.269
And I kept thinking, oh, I must have been the
954
00:41:37.289 --> 00:41:40.989
only person that didn't know. And people all thought, well, Conan,
955
00:41:41.440 --> 00:41:44.619
you knew Norm and he does his classic appearances on
956
00:41:44.659 --> 00:41:46.659
your show and da-da-da-da-da. And I was like, I know.
957
00:41:46.679 --> 00:41:49.179
We were desperately trying to get him back. I desperately
958
00:41:49.219 --> 00:41:52.940
wanted Norm on my last episode. We were trying to
959
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:56.980
get him and not getting an answer back. And I thought, well,
960
00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:00.070
he just doesn't want to come and I was bummed
961
00:42:00.110 --> 00:42:02.840
about it, but thought he's probably got other things to do.
962
00:42:02.880 --> 00:42:06.460
That's too bad. Get these all time great guests. And
963
00:42:06.480 --> 00:42:10.460
then he, he dies. And I just thought, well, I
964
00:42:10.500 --> 00:42:13.239
didn't know, but everyone else must've known. And then Jim
965
00:42:13.260 --> 00:42:17.130
Downey called me and said, you know, more or less Conan,
966
00:42:17.190 --> 00:42:19.429
fuck you for not telling me about Norm. And I said, Jim,
967
00:42:19.690 --> 00:42:22.730
I didn't know. And he, and, and Jim Downey said,
968
00:42:22.750 --> 00:42:25.210
I would think Downey might know. No, Jim didn't know.
969
00:42:25.230 --> 00:42:25.929
Did you know?
970
00:42:25.949 --> 00:42:26.429
I did not know.
971
00:42:27.110 --> 00:42:28.869
And you were touring with him.
972
00:42:29.150 --> 00:42:34.139
Well, I'd done some gigs with him, and then before COVID, me, him,
973
00:42:34.179 --> 00:42:37.139
and Dennis Miller was our last one together. But great,
974
00:42:37.239 --> 00:42:41.300
super fun, obviously. But, you know, we would talk, and
975
00:42:41.719 --> 00:42:43.659
it was more about coming over for dinner, same thing,
976
00:42:43.719 --> 00:42:46.440
where he didn't tell me because he'd go, no, I can't.
977
00:42:46.460 --> 00:42:48.760
And then he goes, well, it's just me and you
978
00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:51.780
sitting 10 feet apart, but something to do. And he's like, yeah, okay,
979
00:42:51.820 --> 00:42:53.949
for sure. And then that night I go, where are you?
980
00:42:53.960 --> 00:42:57.659
He goes, David, it's COVID. And I go, what is it?
981
00:42:57.679 --> 00:43:00.599
So you're not coming? We're not supposed to leave the house.
982
00:43:00.840 --> 00:43:03.110
I go, I know, but we've talked about this. It's
983
00:43:03.119 --> 00:43:07.030
like you're allowed to go places. And then they, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well,
984
00:43:07.050 --> 00:43:08.889
let's do it next week. And then he just did
985
00:43:08.929 --> 00:43:12.409
that routine. And then until it was too late, but
986
00:43:12.550 --> 00:43:14.469
I didn't know. So I don't know who knew. I
987
00:43:14.489 --> 00:43:17.639
think Gervitz knew and maybe. I think Gervitz and Laurie Jo.
988
00:43:17.780 --> 00:43:21.139
I think that's about it. And I think, I mean,
989
00:43:21.159 --> 00:43:24.619
I think two things about it, and they're diametrically opposed
990
00:43:24.639 --> 00:43:27.070
to One is, I wish I had known because I
991
00:43:27.090 --> 00:43:29.530
would have told him what he meant to me. And
992
00:43:29.550 --> 00:43:35.550
there's that feeling of feeling, I wish I had known.
993
00:43:36.179 --> 00:43:38.619
And so initially I was mad that I didn't know.
994
00:43:39.199 --> 00:43:43.000
And then there's the other side, which is great respect
995
00:43:43.500 --> 00:43:46.280
for him wanting to keep it private and him not
996
00:43:46.340 --> 00:43:50.539
wanting people to treat him any differently because he was sick.
997
00:43:51.610 --> 00:43:54.050
I don't know. So I have both feelings at the
998
00:43:54.090 --> 00:43:54.530
same time.
999
00:43:54.900 --> 00:43:57.659
Yeah, I feel the same way. It was just so
1000
00:43:57.760 --> 00:44:02.489
overwhelmingly horrible that I just... Then later, it took me
1001
00:44:02.989 --> 00:44:06.849
how it affected me, where I was mad at him.
1002
00:44:07.130 --> 00:44:09.630
By the way, just not to lighten up the feel here,
1003
00:44:09.650 --> 00:44:12.610
because I know it's getting sad, but when we were
1004
00:44:12.650 --> 00:44:16.119
at the memorial or whatever that... special was for Norm.
1005
00:44:16.179 --> 00:44:16.420
Yeah.
1006
00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:19.199
Where we watched, were you, we were watching the special.
1007
00:44:19.260 --> 00:44:21.460
Remember that? We watched his special. That's why the cameras
1008
00:44:21.480 --> 00:44:21.659
are there.
1009
00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:24.079
That's a separate, that was, that was a thing.
1010
00:44:24.380 --> 00:44:26.400
Wasn't that after the memorial.
1011
00:44:25.980 --> 00:44:28.929
We went into the room? You're talking about two different things. No,
1012
00:44:29.010 --> 00:44:34.250
there was, there was a, a kind of a eulogy
1013
00:44:34.730 --> 00:44:39.670
for Norm that I sort of spoke at and brought
1014
00:44:39.690 --> 00:44:42.170
people up. And then there was a separate thing where
1015
00:44:42.269 --> 00:44:46.389
Norm had made He was planning to do a, it
1016
00:44:46.909 --> 00:44:52.380
was fascinating. He was planning to do an hour and
1017
00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:56.280
he had an hour together or 50 minutes and he
1018
00:44:56.340 --> 00:44:59.780
really had it in his mind. And he knew, I think,
1019
00:45:00.179 --> 00:45:02.309
I believe, and Laurie Jo would know better. I don't
1020
00:45:02.329 --> 00:45:04.309
want to speak for her, but I think he was
1021
00:45:04.510 --> 00:45:07.789
planning to go into the hospital for what he thought
1022
00:45:07.829 --> 00:45:08.489
was going to be.
1023
00:45:08.989 --> 00:45:10.670
Something routine maintenance.
1024
00:45:10.710 --> 00:45:12.920
Routine maintenance treatment for his condition.
1025
00:45:12.940 --> 00:45:13.019
Yeah.
1026
00:45:13.449 --> 00:45:15.429
So what he did was he said, before I go
1027
00:45:15.449 --> 00:45:19.530
into the hospital, I want to record. So he recorded
1028
00:45:20.489 --> 00:45:22.269
using similar technology.
1029
00:45:22.309 --> 00:45:23.019
Like just a.
1030
00:45:23.210 --> 00:45:25.429
Literally just a camera there. I mean, we're doing here
1031
00:45:25.469 --> 00:45:30.199
is far more sophisticated. And he did from memory his whole.
1032
00:45:30.219 --> 00:45:31.500
Yeah.
1033
00:45:31.500 --> 00:45:35.139
50 minutes. And it was really funny and great. He
1034
00:45:35.179 --> 00:45:38.920
goes into the hospital and he dies. And then Laurie
1035
00:45:38.960 --> 00:45:40.360
Jo found the tape.
1036
00:45:40.380 --> 00:45:41.559
Yeah.
1037
00:45:41.579 --> 00:45:45.179
And they thought. to round out the special or to
1038
00:45:45.199 --> 00:45:50.739
give it something else, let's have you, me, Sandler, Chappelle, Letterman,
1039
00:45:51.159 --> 00:45:52.139
who else was there?
1040
00:45:52.159 --> 00:45:53.300
One more, Molly?
1041
00:45:53.940 --> 00:45:57.900
Molly was there, Molly Shannon. Maybe that was it. Might've
1042
00:45:57.920 --> 00:46:01.260
been it. And had us watch it. We hadn't seen it.
1043
00:46:01.260 --> 00:46:02.380
Watch it in real time.
1044
00:46:02.400 --> 00:46:05.219
That part was a little weird because the camera's filming us.
1045
00:46:05.420 --> 00:46:09.059
Yes, and then talk about it right afterwards. And that part,
1046
00:46:10.019 --> 00:46:12.340
I mean, I think it came out really well, but
1047
00:46:12.360 --> 00:46:16.219
I remembered being it was very powerful to be in
1048
00:46:16.239 --> 00:46:18.440
a room and have everyone else leave and shut the
1049
00:46:18.500 --> 00:46:20.570
doors and then show, and then suddenly Norm was there.
1050
00:46:20.590 --> 00:46:20.840
Yeah.
1051
00:46:21.219 --> 00:46:25.090
And he's, he's being hilarious and we're laughing and loving it.
1052
00:46:25.429 --> 00:46:29.030
And then it's over. And then I think we.
1053
00:46:28.909 --> 00:46:32.090
Just started talking about it. Because you can, you're just
1054
00:46:32.130 --> 00:46:34.809
watching him going and then you start drifting your mind going, okay,
1055
00:46:34.889 --> 00:46:38.050
it's over. This is right before. And then we talk
1056
00:46:38.070 --> 00:46:39.769
and then it's funny because we're all talking. And then
1057
00:46:39.829 --> 00:46:44.170
also we're like just a weird scene. Will that ever
1058
00:46:44.210 --> 00:46:45.289
be released, do you think?
1059
00:46:45.449 --> 00:46:45.769
It was.
1060
00:46:45.809 --> 00:46:47.630
I think it won an Emmy. I didn't realize that.
1061
00:46:47.650 --> 00:46:52.989
Yeah, it was released. I think it's on Netflix. Oh,
1062
00:46:53.030 --> 00:46:57.889
your mistakes get cut out. That's nice. Yes, it won a, no.
1063
00:46:58.250 --> 00:46:59.820
Can you edit out me laughing at 9-11?
1064
00:47:00.139 --> 00:47:00.239
No.
1065
00:47:01.320 --> 00:47:01.449
No?
1066
00:47:01.570 --> 00:47:02.860
Okay. Because we never forget.
1067
00:47:03.159 --> 00:47:05.739
It's called Nothing Special. We never forget who thinks it's funny.
1068
00:47:05.760 --> 00:47:06.460
It's called Nothing Special.
1069
00:47:06.480 --> 00:47:06.760
Yeah.
1070
00:47:07.119 --> 00:47:09.159
It's called Nothing Special and it won an Emmy.
1071
00:47:09.840 --> 00:47:10.960
Was it called Nothing Special?
1072
00:47:11.420 --> 00:47:11.699
What's that?
1073
00:47:11.780 --> 00:47:12.619
Was it called Nothing Special?
1074
00:47:13.079 --> 00:47:13.539
Yeah, Norm Macdonald.
1075
00:47:13.559 --> 00:47:17.139
Is this the thing that you guys are watching is aired? Yes.
1076
00:47:17.280 --> 00:47:20.400
His material. No, no, no. Just so we're clear.
1077
00:47:20.420 --> 00:47:22.880
Has he been listening? No, this is.
1078
00:47:22.840 --> 00:47:23.480
His first podcast.
1079
00:47:23.500 --> 00:47:23.900
Is he new?
1080
00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:25.420
He won a contest. Is he a contest?
1081
00:47:26.239 --> 00:47:27.000
He gets to sit in?
1082
00:47:27.039 --> 00:47:29.000
He's a contest winner. He got to fly in. And
1083
00:47:29.039 --> 00:47:29.909
he told him not to talk.
1084
00:47:30.030 --> 00:47:30.949
He loves that I make fun of him.
1085
00:47:30.969 --> 00:47:35.130
That microphone isn't even real. No, it was... The special was...
1086
00:47:35.590 --> 00:47:39.449
You see, it plays Norm special and then you see
1087
00:47:39.510 --> 00:47:41.130
our reaction to it. So that's the whole, so you
1088
00:47:41.170 --> 00:47:41.590
see both.
1089
00:47:41.690 --> 00:47:42.010
Sorry.
1090
00:47:42.130 --> 00:47:43.150
No, that's okay. Don't be sorry.
1091
00:47:43.170 --> 00:47:44.250
Don't be sorry.
1092
00:47:44.760 --> 00:47:47.489
And that's humanity. You should feel terrible about your crimes. Oh, okay.
1093
00:47:47.590 --> 00:47:48.760
We should edit that out.
1094
00:47:48.780 --> 00:47:51.500
You know, at the memorial, the first one with the
1095
00:47:51.539 --> 00:47:54.880
dolly shots, whatever that one was, that you were falling everywhere.
1096
00:47:56.480 --> 00:47:56.619
Right.
1097
00:47:57.449 --> 00:47:59.820
When people die and I'm mourning them, I tend to
1098
00:47:59.840 --> 00:48:01.809
do a tumbling act for a little bit just to
1099
00:48:01.829 --> 00:48:02.750
sort of loosen up the crowd.
1100
00:48:02.829 --> 00:48:04.110
Also, by the way, I think it was like four
1101
00:48:04.150 --> 00:48:07.170
inches and the next one was like nine inches because everybody,
1102
00:48:07.329 --> 00:48:09.550
their toe hit that fucking thing I'm still mad about,
1103
00:48:09.909 --> 00:48:13.170
that step. But I left in between that and then
1104
00:48:13.190 --> 00:48:15.670
there was like a part two or maybe it was the,
1105
00:48:16.449 --> 00:48:18.650
I'm confusing it, but I had to come back. So
1106
00:48:18.670 --> 00:48:20.969
I had about, or I just left during it because
1107
00:48:20.989 --> 00:48:24.389
it was getting too sad. So I ran out. This
1108
00:48:24.449 --> 00:48:26.829
is when I went to McDonald's and in the Amazon special,
1109
00:48:27.530 --> 00:48:30.550
I talk about that exact thing. I went to McDonald's
1110
00:48:30.929 --> 00:48:35.300
in my suit and was in line. And the crazy
1111
00:48:35.320 --> 00:48:37.579
guy comes out of the bushes and starts, takes off
1112
00:48:37.599 --> 00:48:38.480
shirts and smacking.
1113
00:48:38.780 --> 00:48:38.980
Yes.
1114
00:48:39.019 --> 00:48:39.739
The guy ordering.
1115
00:48:39.920 --> 00:48:40.099
Yep.
1116
00:48:40.420 --> 00:48:42.880
So I go, let's back up, but let's park. I don't,
1117
00:48:42.980 --> 00:48:45.860
I want to watch. So I went in and that
1118
00:48:45.900 --> 00:48:48.630
whole thing takes place from the Norm McDonald.
1119
00:48:48.670 --> 00:48:49.050
I didn't really.
1120
00:48:49.110 --> 00:48:49.389
Okay.
1121
00:48:49.409 --> 00:48:51.150
So that happened from the Norm thing.
1122
00:48:51.170 --> 00:48:53.869
That's a real story. And it was really happening. And
1123
00:48:54.650 --> 00:48:56.369
I did get scared when he came in because I
1124
00:48:56.369 --> 00:48:57.250
thought we were going to get in a fight.
1125
00:48:57.550 --> 00:48:59.909
First of all, I want it noted that someone you
1126
00:48:59.929 --> 00:49:02.409
were very close to, a colleague and a cherished person,
1127
00:49:02.570 --> 00:49:04.679
passed away and you were present at the memorial, but
1128
00:49:05.440 --> 00:49:06.900
walked out halfway through to go to McDonald's.
1129
00:49:08.300 --> 00:49:08.880
But also.
1130
00:49:08.900 --> 00:49:10.659
But then something funny happened, which you could use in
1131
00:49:10.679 --> 00:49:14.010
your special. No, because I had already done my set. Yeah,
1132
00:49:14.030 --> 00:49:15.510
you did your set. So then you're out of there.
1133
00:49:17.190 --> 00:49:19.349
I scored and now it's time for some chicken McNuggets.
1134
00:49:19.809 --> 00:49:19.929
Oh.
1135
00:49:20.260 --> 00:49:24.340
Yeah. I tried to sound real, and it's too many
1136
00:49:24.400 --> 00:49:27.639
comics there, and I'm trying to sound like, say nice
1137
00:49:27.659 --> 00:49:30.699
stories about Norman. Everyone's just looking for punchlines. It's such
1138
00:49:30.739 --> 00:49:33.599
a weird scene because it's all comedians, and you're just like,
1139
00:49:34.320 --> 00:49:35.619
I'm just going to leave here and everyone's going to
1140
00:49:35.639 --> 00:49:37.139
be like, who did well? You know what I mean?
1141
00:49:37.159 --> 00:49:38.559
It's like, that's everything.
1142
00:49:38.659 --> 00:49:38.880
Okay.
1143
00:49:38.900 --> 00:49:42.320
Let's talk about this. This is a real phenomenon where
1144
00:49:42.650 --> 00:49:45.510
a funny person dies.
1145
00:49:45.789 --> 00:49:46.050
Yes.
1146
00:49:46.929 --> 00:49:49.869
Who are they? Who are their friends? Other funny, professionally
1147
00:49:49.909 --> 00:49:54.110
funny people. We get together when people pass on, when
1148
00:49:54.130 --> 00:49:58.420
they die and there's a gathering, people speak, but you've
1149
00:49:58.440 --> 00:50:02.079
got a room full of people who are competitive about
1150
00:50:02.139 --> 00:50:07.030
getting up and being funny. And it's a strange phenomenon.
1151
00:50:07.809 --> 00:50:10.610
These things are weird because you think, nope, it's not
1152
00:50:10.650 --> 00:50:13.070
about that. But there's some part of you that wants
1153
00:50:13.139 --> 00:50:13.659
to do well.
1154
00:50:13.679 --> 00:50:16.699
And there's some nerves and some awkwardness. And I think
1155
00:50:16.739 --> 00:50:19.760
it started, I went to Gary Shandling's funeral and then
1156
00:50:19.820 --> 00:50:24.519
everyone was like, Bill Maher did great. Can I say something?
1157
00:50:24.699 --> 00:50:28.639
Maher used props. He had a lot of balloons. He
1158
00:50:28.659 --> 00:50:29.739
was doing balloon work.
1159
00:50:29.780 --> 00:50:30.360
He was?
1160
00:50:30.389 --> 00:50:32.550
I don't remember that. No, I remember it clearly. And
1161
00:50:32.570 --> 00:50:36.210
he had a whole trunk like Gallagher or Gallagher 2.
1162
00:50:36.210 --> 00:50:37.269
That was being filmed too.
1163
00:50:37.550 --> 00:50:37.809
Yeah.
1164
00:50:37.909 --> 00:50:38.929
I think Apatow filmed it.
1165
00:50:38.929 --> 00:50:40.369
Has that been released?
1166
00:50:40.429 --> 00:50:42.309
Oh, I thought Gallagher was.
1167
00:50:42.389 --> 00:50:43.550
Sorry. I got confused.
1168
00:50:43.650 --> 00:50:45.670
I thought Gallagher... So you guys.
1169
00:50:45.530 --> 00:50:46.110
Are here to help.
1170
00:50:46.289 --> 00:50:47.269
Yeah, I know.
1171
00:50:47.329 --> 00:50:50.699
She's throwing confusion at I am. You should do Gallagher three.
1172
00:50:51.670 --> 00:50:53.289
Do you know what Gallagher two is?
1173
00:50:53.309 --> 00:50:54.750
Gallagher two is his brother. Yeah.
1174
00:50:54.969 --> 00:50:56.110
And he does Gallagher's act.
1175
00:50:56.769 --> 00:50:59.280
Right. But I think, are they, have they both passed
1176
00:50:59.340 --> 00:51:01.079
on to their reward? I think Gallagher one.
1177
00:51:01.199 --> 00:51:03.940
According to this podcast, I'm sure they did. Because everyone's
1178
00:51:03.980 --> 00:51:05.659
dying so far that we talk about it.
1179
00:51:05.659 --> 00:51:05.780
I know.
1180
00:51:05.800 --> 00:51:06.840
You guys are talking a lot.
1181
00:51:06.860 --> 00:51:08.480
Well, I'm sorry. It's a lot of death.
1182
00:51:08.500 --> 00:51:09.619
I'm sorry. We're jinxing everyone.
1183
00:51:09.820 --> 00:51:09.960
I know.
1184
00:51:09.980 --> 00:51:14.300
We are two survivors here. You know, Sona, you and Gorilla,
1185
00:51:14.340 --> 00:51:16.849
you're young people. You don't know what it's like. We,
1186
00:51:17.449 --> 00:51:20.289
we have been through the shit. We're like guys that
1187
00:51:20.349 --> 00:51:21.210
were in war together.
1188
00:51:21.230 --> 00:51:23.300
We're like in the Titanic. We're just talking about it.
1189
00:51:23.329 --> 00:51:24.250
We're in SNL together.
1190
00:51:24.289 --> 00:51:24.829
I don't think that's.
1191
00:51:24.909 --> 00:51:25.110
I know.
1192
00:51:25.130 --> 00:51:28.730
It's a lot like the Titanic SNL. Yeah.
1193
00:51:28.929 --> 00:51:30.960
God, we talk about SNL forever. It's so embarrassing, but
1194
00:51:31.360 --> 00:51:34.409
it is something to talk about. Right?
1195
00:51:34.630 --> 00:51:37.449
He said doodling. Hey, if you're bored, just let me know. No,
1196
00:51:37.510 --> 00:51:39.909
I'm not. I actually love talking about this stuff and
1197
00:51:39.929 --> 00:51:40.670
it's meaningful to me.
1198
00:51:40.710 --> 00:51:41.869
No, because we were both there.
1199
00:51:41.909 --> 00:51:43.309
If you want to take a break and go to McDonald's,
1200
00:51:43.329 --> 00:51:45.530
go ahead and I'll just keep talking. You can get
1201
00:51:45.550 --> 00:51:47.730
yourself the McGriddle, whatever it's called.
1202
00:51:47.750 --> 00:51:50.329
No, I almost got beat up. That's a big story.
1203
00:51:50.349 --> 00:51:51.369
You're not even concerned.
1204
00:51:51.469 --> 00:51:52.329
Well, let's hear about it.
1205
00:51:52.489 --> 00:51:53.170
No, I can't.
1206
00:51:57.539 --> 00:52:01.119
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1224
00:53:06.639 --> 00:53:08.179
The real moments you don't want to miss.
1225
00:53:08.639 --> 00:53:10.239
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1226
00:53:11.139 --> 00:53:14.440
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1229
00:53:17.360 --> 00:53:18.019
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1230
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Anytime, anywhere nicotine pouches.
1232
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18 and over contains tobacco-free nicotine and addictive substance.
1233
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If you're new to Velo, start with Mellow.
1234
00:53:25.909 --> 00:53:27.449
You should not use this product if you do not
1235
00:53:27.550 --> 00:53:28.329
already use nicotine.
1236
00:53:35.920 --> 00:53:37.519
I very much enjoyed your special.
1237
00:53:37.559 --> 00:53:38.420
Did you watch it?
1238
00:53:38.559 --> 00:53:38.920
Yeah, I did.
1239
00:53:38.940 --> 00:53:40.440
Oh my God, that's nice.
1240
00:53:40.460 --> 00:53:42.159
What are you talking about? When I talk to a
1241
00:53:42.260 --> 00:53:45.420
friend and they have a special, I, and you know
1242
00:53:45.440 --> 00:53:47.909
what I, what I liked is that you've got very
1243
00:53:47.989 --> 00:53:51.230
funny material. You're obviously a very funny comedian, but when
1244
00:53:51.289 --> 00:53:54.650
you notice something that's just happening in the real moment
1245
00:53:54.750 --> 00:53:57.489
and fuck around about it, you're one of my favorites.
1246
00:53:57.650 --> 00:53:58.889
And one of the first things he does in the
1247
00:53:58.929 --> 00:54:01.900
special is you're talking and I didn't even notice it.
1248
00:54:02.239 --> 00:54:04.260
But I realize you're kind of doing that thing when
1249
00:54:04.280 --> 00:54:07.500
there's a long cord. Mic cord. Mic cord. And you're
1250
00:54:07.519 --> 00:54:10.199
trying to run, and you went, by the way, the
1251
00:54:10.320 --> 00:54:15.099
cordless mic was invented in 1996, guys. And it's hilarious,
1252
00:54:15.139 --> 00:54:17.239
and it's not even part of the set that you
1253
00:54:17.260 --> 00:54:20.090
had planned. And then you go on this whole riff
1254
00:54:20.320 --> 00:54:22.920
about Jeff Bezos and.
1255
00:54:22.969 --> 00:54:24.909
Give me a shitty mic for my fucking special.
1256
00:54:24.969 --> 00:54:28.619
Yeah, and- I noticed this at the SNL 50th, and
1257
00:54:28.639 --> 00:54:30.219
I know I'm bringing SNL back into it, but for
1258
00:54:30.239 --> 00:54:32.179
a reason, you did a sketch in that. And at
1259
00:54:32.260 --> 00:54:34.039
one point, you're not even in the sketch anymore. And
1260
00:54:34.059 --> 00:54:37.320
you ad-libbed a line that was one of my favorite
1261
00:54:37.360 --> 00:54:38.010
lines of the night.
1262
00:54:38.070 --> 00:54:40.010
That's right. You told me that was very nice.
1263
00:54:40.190 --> 00:54:42.670
And I mean, it absolutely was hilarious, which is a
1264
00:54:42.710 --> 00:54:44.329
sketch is going on. You take us through it.
1265
00:54:44.530 --> 00:54:50.010
I'm doing a sketch with Mulaney and Pete Davidson. Broadway
1266
00:54:50.070 --> 00:54:52.250
New York musicals so it's kind of a long.
1267
00:54:52.050 --> 00:54:54.530
Sketch and it's about the evolution of New York throughout
1268
00:54:54.550 --> 00:54:57.110
the different eras like starting out in 75 when SNL
1269
00:54:57.130 --> 00:54:58.849
starts out and then a bunch of people saw.
1270
00:54:58.670 --> 00:55:00.349
This and me and Peter are like two young kids
1271
00:55:00.429 --> 00:55:02.690
and he's telling us the story of how it started
1272
00:55:03.409 --> 00:55:05.530
and so as we go through it I don't know
1273
00:55:05.550 --> 00:55:07.340
if they predicted this but of course I got bored
1274
00:55:07.380 --> 00:55:11.099
during it so they have me they write me in
1275
00:55:11.119 --> 00:55:12.900
the middle of it I walk in and I sit
1276
00:55:12.920 --> 00:55:15.039
in the audience you're in the audience.
1277
00:55:14.679 --> 00:55:16.599
Which all the way people don't really know you like
1278
00:55:16.639 --> 00:55:20.280
suddenly you're not there but You don't quite clock that.
1279
00:55:20.340 --> 00:55:21.179
And then all of a sudden they just.
1280
00:55:21.420 --> 00:55:25.139
They wonder, where's David? He goes, listen, Jimmy. And then
1281
00:55:25.159 --> 00:55:28.070
he goes, wait, Pete. He just breaks character.
1282
00:55:28.389 --> 00:55:28.989
Where's Spade?
1283
00:55:29.630 --> 00:55:31.369
And he goes, oh, I think he went back to
1284
00:55:31.409 --> 00:55:33.909
the audience and sat in the audience. And then they
1285
00:55:33.949 --> 00:55:36.159
look around and then they have a camera at me
1286
00:55:36.179 --> 00:55:38.039
and I'm sitting in the audience. And they cut to
1287
00:55:38.059 --> 00:55:39.340
me and I go, oh yeah, no, I got a
1288
00:55:39.380 --> 00:55:39.869
feel for it.
1289
00:55:43.360 --> 00:55:45.559
And so I asked around and I think that was you,
1290
00:55:45.579 --> 00:55:46.880
was that your line?
1291
00:55:47.199 --> 00:55:49.320
Well, they gave me a line and it was something
1292
00:55:49.380 --> 00:55:51.300
like that. And then Wally goes, I'm not going to
1293
00:55:51.320 --> 00:55:52.800
give you a cue card. You got it. And I go, yeah.
1294
00:55:52.820 --> 00:55:55.159
And then when it came to me in rehearsal, I
1295
00:55:55.199 --> 00:55:57.440
said that, which was basically something like the line.
1296
00:55:57.780 --> 00:55:59.909
Right, but you said it your way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1297
00:56:00.179 --> 00:56:04.010
And you were so dismissive and it was so thrown away.
1298
00:56:04.030 --> 00:56:06.119
You're like, nah, I got a feel for it. And I...
1299
00:56:07.019 --> 00:56:08.940
you know, I laughed very hard a bunch of times
1300
00:56:08.960 --> 00:56:11.019
that night. That might've been my favorite moment.
1301
00:56:11.039 --> 00:56:12.920
Thank you. That was fun. Cause we did a rehearsal
1302
00:56:12.940 --> 00:56:14.570
and it worked. And then Melanie was like, just do
1303
00:56:14.590 --> 00:56:16.800
it like that. Like whatever. It was perfect. It was,
1304
00:56:16.889 --> 00:56:19.610
it was fun to be at the 50th and it
1305
00:56:19.650 --> 00:56:21.909
was fun to be in something because, you know, we
1306
00:56:21.929 --> 00:56:25.070
just go. And, uh, I thought Lovitz's line was funny too.
1307
00:56:25.130 --> 00:56:28.389
Oh my God. They, they didn't, Lovitz is at the
1308
00:56:28.469 --> 00:56:29.869
American girl store.
1309
00:56:30.230 --> 00:56:31.550
He's sitting so far away.
1310
00:56:31.630 --> 00:56:33.309
So he's, you know, they have people sitting and he
1311
00:56:33.329 --> 00:56:35.710
has an American girl store and what it was his line.
1312
00:56:35.750 --> 00:56:37.650
And they go, cause they have the, All stars in
1313
00:56:37.670 --> 00:56:39.550
the audience, but you can't fit everyone. And they go,
1314
00:56:39.570 --> 00:56:41.929
where's John Lovitz? And then they pan to the real
1315
00:56:41.969 --> 00:56:43.559
American Girl story. He's sitting there with all these dolls
1316
00:56:43.579 --> 00:56:47.260
around him. And they go, oh, Johnny goes, I'm not mad.
1317
00:56:47.280 --> 00:56:52.530
I just want to know why. They go, sorry, John,
1318
00:56:52.550 --> 00:56:54.429
that you're all the way over across the street in
1319
00:56:54.449 --> 00:56:57.409
the American Girl story. I'm not mad. I just want
1320
00:56:57.429 --> 00:57:00.409
to know why. Like he doesn't get, there's not enough seats.
1321
00:57:00.469 --> 00:57:02.269
He's like, we had a crazy night. I don't know
1322
00:57:02.289 --> 00:57:04.650
if you can remember this. It wasn't that crazy, but
1323
00:57:04.909 --> 00:57:08.170
we occasionally get dinner together. Yeah. It'll be. And when
1324
00:57:08.190 --> 00:57:12.269
I say we, it's you, it's Dana Carvey. It's myself.
1325
00:57:12.739 --> 00:57:14.530
It's the same group. We always go to the exact
1326
00:57:14.570 --> 00:57:17.360
same restaurant on La Cienega. Coy.
1327
00:57:17.380 --> 00:57:17.670
Love it.
1328
00:57:18.280 --> 00:57:22.159
And it's this thing we do and we'll just sit
1329
00:57:22.199 --> 00:57:25.809
around and talk. And I remember one night we, It
1330
00:57:26.130 --> 00:57:29.610
wasn't planned. It was a total accident. We're leaving the
1331
00:57:29.659 --> 00:57:31.360
restaurant and we hear, hello.
1332
00:57:31.440 --> 00:57:32.059
Hello.
1333
00:57:32.219 --> 00:57:33.579
And it's John Lovitz.
1334
00:57:34.000 --> 00:57:34.980
What do we have here?
1335
00:57:35.099 --> 00:57:39.420
What do we have here? And he is always himself.
1336
00:57:39.559 --> 00:57:42.300
And he's always, he's one of the funniest people you'll
1337
00:57:42.360 --> 00:57:46.469
ever meet because he's always himself. And whatever he's doing,
1338
00:57:46.849 --> 00:57:49.530
if he's standing with an attractive woman, he'll say, Oh,
1339
00:57:49.590 --> 00:57:52.969
and this is, you know, this is Jessica. And then
1340
00:57:52.989 --> 00:57:55.510
he'll look at me in front of her and say, jealous.
1341
00:57:57.710 --> 00:58:01.150
He's a walking cartoon character. And he does play the
1342
00:58:01.170 --> 00:58:03.769
John Lovitz. He doesn't. He does what you want to hear.
1343
00:58:03.849 --> 00:58:07.739
But we were with him and we're all talking to him.
1344
00:58:07.840 --> 00:58:11.340
And then I can't believe this really happened. But we
1345
00:58:11.400 --> 00:58:14.469
all walk outside the restaurant. And Lovitz is standing there
1346
00:58:14.510 --> 00:58:16.949
and he said, hold on, they're delivering a car for me.
1347
00:58:17.869 --> 00:58:19.159
And they delivered like an.
1348
00:58:20.809 --> 00:58:23.829
One of those trucks was delivering a car to him
1349
00:58:23.849 --> 00:58:27.170
at the restaurant. I don't mean like an Uber. I
1350
00:58:27.210 --> 00:58:30.530
don't mean, I mean, he was taking possession of a
1351
00:58:30.650 --> 00:58:33.840
fancy car and looked to me and was like, I'm jealous.
1352
00:58:33.880 --> 00:58:36.500
Yeah, I was jealous.
1353
00:58:36.639 --> 00:58:38.159
As they were lowering a car.
1354
00:58:38.199 --> 00:58:39.000
You're a Porsche, sir.
1355
00:58:39.179 --> 00:58:45.019
Yeah, and I thought, who... Who the fuck says, yes, well, yes,
1356
00:58:45.059 --> 00:58:47.559
I'll take possession of my Bugatti, and I'll be over
1357
00:58:47.599 --> 00:58:51.920
at Coy looking for old friends from Saturday Night Live.
1358
00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:54.139
Wait till you see me standing with them, and then
1359
00:58:54.239 --> 00:58:54.980
pull up.
1360
00:58:55.280 --> 00:58:57.449
When you see me standing there, and you see them
1361
00:58:57.469 --> 00:59:00.690
with their shitty cars, make sure you wait, and then
1362
00:59:00.690 --> 00:59:03.599
back up and have the car delivered. And it was
1363
00:59:03.599 --> 00:59:05.210
a happening. I loved that.
1364
00:59:05.210 --> 00:59:07.070
Yeah, yeah. We love it. This is always a crack up.
1365
00:59:07.090 --> 00:59:10.539
He has tons of cars. I'm shocked. I like cars.
1366
00:59:10.579 --> 00:59:13.960
He has way more. He pulls up. Do you like it?
1367
00:59:13.960 --> 00:59:16.079
Do you like it? He goes, how can I? Because
1368
00:59:16.099 --> 00:59:17.940
he goes, you should get a Mustang. And he pulls
1369
00:59:17.980 --> 00:59:21.159
up this new, blown out Mustang. He goes, how can
1370
00:59:21.199 --> 00:59:25.269
I get you in this car? He's trying to sell it.
1371
00:59:27.130 --> 00:59:27.469
Yeah.
1372
00:59:27.929 --> 00:59:30.840
He is always a crack up. Uh, I'll also, you,
1373
00:59:30.940 --> 00:59:33.530
you did, uh, the Mark Twain. I saw you at
1374
00:59:33.550 --> 00:59:35.349
the last Mark Twain that I was in, which was
1375
00:59:35.429 --> 00:59:38.150
the Sandler. That was a really funny one. Was yours,
1376
00:59:38.190 --> 00:59:39.030
was yours fun too?
1377
00:59:39.409 --> 00:59:40.750
Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Yeah. It was
1378
00:59:40.789 --> 00:59:42.949
a lot of fun. I was more fun than I
1379
00:59:42.989 --> 00:59:44.969
thought it was going to be. I like, I really
1380
00:59:45.010 --> 00:59:48.320
like showing up for other people being talked about. Of course.
1381
00:59:48.340 --> 00:59:49.059
Is it weird?
1382
00:59:49.619 --> 00:59:52.719
Uh, I was dreading and then I loved it. Yeah. Um,
1383
00:59:52.800 --> 00:59:55.639
just because everyone was so funny and. Yeah.
1384
00:59:55.659 --> 00:59:57.570
I just saw the lineup out there on the poster
1385
00:59:57.610 --> 01:00:01.170
that you. sign for yourself or something, but it was
1386
01:00:01.210 --> 01:00:01.650
on the wall.
1387
01:00:01.690 --> 01:00:04.090
No other people signed it to me.
1388
01:00:04.150 --> 01:00:05.889
I don't know exactly what happened.
1389
01:00:06.090 --> 01:00:09.710
I stood with a marker and I signed Letterman Mullaney.
1390
01:00:09.820 --> 01:00:12.010
It's part of your deal. Sign here.
1391
01:00:12.519 --> 01:00:14.219
I signed everyone else's name on it to pretend.
1392
01:00:14.239 --> 01:00:18.619
I was with Nikki Glaser in Vegas and she gallantly
1393
01:00:19.059 --> 01:00:20.500
took a, we did our show.
1394
01:00:20.699 --> 01:00:20.860
Yep.
1395
01:00:21.320 --> 01:00:22.699
And she goes, I'm going to miss your set. I'm
1396
01:00:22.719 --> 01:00:25.340
going straight to the airport. Went straight on the red
1397
01:00:25.460 --> 01:00:29.460
eye to you. Got it together. I mean, That's a brutal.
1398
01:00:29.719 --> 01:00:34.840
She killed. And I was just in Vegas yesterday and ran,
1399
01:00:35.909 --> 01:00:39.349
I think drove by seven different signs.
1400
01:00:39.429 --> 01:00:40.289
Oh, for me and Nikki.
1401
01:00:40.389 --> 01:00:42.710
Yeah. For you and Nikki. And I adore her.
1402
01:00:42.730 --> 01:00:42.809
Yeah.
1403
01:00:43.969 --> 01:00:45.949
I adore her. And I adore you. I love the
1404
01:00:46.030 --> 01:00:49.030
idea of you two being out there together. And that
1405
01:00:49.070 --> 01:00:50.869
would be a show. I would love to see that.
1406
01:00:50.929 --> 01:00:51.150
Yeah.
1407
01:00:51.170 --> 01:00:53.730
You'd laugh. It's funny. We just, and like what you're
1408
01:00:53.750 --> 01:00:55.929
saying earlier, it's like when you do corporate shows, you
1409
01:00:55.949 --> 01:00:58.219
probably do those when you, Dane and I do a
1410
01:00:58.219 --> 01:01:01.659
bunch of them and he fucking kills. He's exactly what
1411
01:01:01.699 --> 01:01:04.300
they want. He exactly, I'm pretty much what they want,
1412
01:01:04.599 --> 01:01:06.860
but he's exactly what they want. But whenever you do
1413
01:01:06.980 --> 01:01:09.659
anything in actually any show, when I'm on the road,
1414
01:01:09.679 --> 01:01:12.800
this tour, if you say anything that they don't think
1415
01:01:12.880 --> 01:01:15.480
is scripted, like that mic thing, or you say something
1416
01:01:15.500 --> 01:01:17.159
about this, you make fun of the guy over here
1417
01:01:17.179 --> 01:01:19.719
with the lights. It always works 10 times better than
1418
01:01:19.739 --> 01:01:22.539
whatever you're really supposed to say. It's so funny that
1419
01:01:22.559 --> 01:01:25.179
it always works that way. One time I was doing
1420
01:01:25.199 --> 01:01:27.199
this corporate and this is just a dumb example, but
1421
01:01:27.639 --> 01:01:31.099
It was like three nights. One night was like Stevie Nicks, me,
1422
01:01:31.139 --> 01:01:35.139
and then Journey, right? So I'm going backstage. They're like,
1423
01:01:35.739 --> 01:01:37.820
and don't forget, tomorrow night, we got David Spade coming,
1424
01:01:37.880 --> 01:01:40.260
but don't forget, tomorrow night, Journey. They would put over
1425
01:01:40.280 --> 01:01:42.469
the loudspeaker. So after about six times before I go on,
1426
01:01:42.480 --> 01:01:44.300
I go, hey, guys, I don't want to hear one
1427
01:01:44.400 --> 01:01:48.239
fucking more thing about Journey, okay? We're here tonight. I
1428
01:01:48.260 --> 01:01:51.630
don't give a fat fuck. About Journey and all their
1429
01:01:51.690 --> 01:01:53.429
contest winners that are in that. It's not even all
1430
01:01:53.489 --> 01:01:56.010
real Journey. I'm ready to break it to you. But
1431
01:01:56.050 --> 01:01:58.300
I said, we're here and I'm here and it's going
1432
01:01:58.320 --> 01:01:59.820
to suck and we're going to get through it. And
1433
01:01:59.840 --> 01:02:03.599
then you get your precious Journey. And then that works
1434
01:02:03.619 --> 01:02:04.420
better than the whole.
1435
01:02:04.559 --> 01:02:04.940
Of course.
1436
01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:05.860
Anything like that.
1437
01:02:06.000 --> 01:02:07.039
Anything else you've got.
1438
01:02:07.960 --> 01:02:13.929
And then I go, anyway, dogs are funny. And they're like. Oh,
1439
01:02:13.989 --> 01:02:15.030
I smell your act.
1440
01:02:15.110 --> 01:02:18.409
Go back to Journey. You really got it with that
1441
01:02:18.469 --> 01:02:19.170
Journey thing.
1442
01:02:19.230 --> 01:02:20.880
Say shit about anything else.
1443
01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:23.320
David, I've kept you here long enough.
1444
01:02:23.880 --> 01:02:26.219
God, that did go fast going on. I have to say,
1445
01:02:26.280 --> 01:02:28.639
we did a good job. It was nice and fun
1446
01:02:28.679 --> 01:02:29.360
and you were great.
1447
01:02:29.519 --> 01:02:30.599
I think I did a good job.
1448
01:02:30.619 --> 01:02:31.219
You did a great job.
1449
01:02:31.840 --> 01:02:33.519
You were all over the map. I think Sona and
1450
01:02:33.619 --> 01:02:34.039
I did.
1451
01:02:33.940 --> 01:02:35.260
The best work here. Yeah, I think me and Matt.
1452
01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:37.000
In your own way, I think you guys killed it.
1453
01:02:37.239 --> 01:02:37.719
We learned a lot.
1454
01:02:37.739 --> 01:02:39.260
We learned about building seven over there.
1455
01:02:40.500 --> 01:02:42.179
Jesus Christ. Oh my God.
1456
01:02:42.679 --> 01:02:43.960
Yeah, building seven.
1457
01:02:44.280 --> 01:02:50.059
So, to end on a positive note. Pearl Harbor. Yeah.
1458
01:02:50.099 --> 01:02:51.559
There we go.
1459
01:02:51.579 --> 01:02:55.659
Sona doesn't know what you're talking about. David, on a
1460
01:02:55.699 --> 01:02:58.940
serious note, I've known you, I don't know, I think
1461
01:02:58.980 --> 01:03:02.750
it was 1989, something like that, 1990. I can't remember.
1462
01:03:02.769 --> 01:03:04.369
It was a long time. I've known you a really
1463
01:03:04.409 --> 01:03:08.369
long time, and I'm always really happy to see you.
1464
01:03:08.389 --> 01:03:09.550
Thank you.
1465
01:03:09.590 --> 01:03:14.309
It's really easy. You are a deeply funny person and
1466
01:03:14.409 --> 01:03:18.179
also a sweet gentleman. I've always known you to be that.
1467
01:03:18.409 --> 01:03:20.940
That sweet rumor, hopefully it's sticking around.
1468
01:03:20.960 --> 01:03:24.219
Yeah, we're getting the word out there. It's not trending well.
1469
01:03:24.849 --> 01:03:28.030
You aren't buying it, but there's a lot of pushback
1470
01:03:28.179 --> 01:03:33.320
on it. But David Spade Dandelion is available to stream
1471
01:03:33.500 --> 01:03:35.619
on Prime Video. I watched it last night.
1472
01:03:35.639 --> 01:03:36.099
Very nice.
1473
01:03:36.219 --> 01:03:38.000
It's really funny.
1474
01:03:38.960 --> 01:03:39.320
That's it.
1475
01:03:39.699 --> 01:03:40.360
You're a good man.
1476
01:03:40.559 --> 01:03:42.519
On the road. Come see me. I know your friend Adam.
1477
01:03:42.539 --> 01:03:48.239
Tell your friend Adam I said hello. Actually, someone said
1478
01:03:48.360 --> 01:03:50.679
there's a house over there by you guys. I don't
1479
01:03:50.699 --> 01:03:51.860
even know where you live exactly.
1480
01:03:52.320 --> 01:03:53.320
But we keep it that way.
1481
01:03:53.340 --> 01:03:55.260
Didn't you get, didn't it get close to you?
1482
01:03:55.500 --> 01:03:55.820
Yeah.
1483
01:03:55.900 --> 01:03:56.260
Oh God.
1484
01:03:56.340 --> 01:03:58.360
Oh no, no, no, no. It's, it's fine. The fire's
1485
01:03:58.400 --> 01:04:01.159
got Sandler and I live very close to each other.
1486
01:04:01.519 --> 01:04:03.940
I lived closer to the fire than Sandler.
1487
01:04:04.460 --> 01:04:06.519
Um, but can you still live there? You can not.
1488
01:04:06.659 --> 01:04:07.179
Yes, I can.
1489
01:04:07.199 --> 01:04:07.800
Yeah.
1490
01:04:07.820 --> 01:04:08.019
Yeah.
1491
01:04:08.039 --> 01:04:08.260
Yeah.
1492
01:04:08.400 --> 01:04:12.159
Our, our, we're God, you know, I'm very lucky. We
1493
01:04:12.239 --> 01:04:16.320
were very fortunate that, uh, our house was close and
1494
01:04:16.340 --> 01:04:17.710
we had to, we had to move out of it
1495
01:04:17.769 --> 01:04:20.230
for a couple of months, but it was just smoke damage.
1496
01:04:20.670 --> 01:04:23.320
Um, Sorry to bring that up, but yeah, I'm glad
1497
01:04:23.340 --> 01:04:23.820
you're okay.
1498
01:04:23.840 --> 01:04:27.119
So you saw us getting out with some good sentiment
1499
01:04:27.179 --> 01:04:29.679
and some good feeling and you brought up the fires. Yeah.
1500
01:04:30.280 --> 01:04:33.079
I said quickly, I was racking my brain. Chad GBT,
1501
01:04:33.139 --> 01:04:36.250
what's the saddest thing that's happened recently?
1502
01:04:36.329 --> 01:04:38.369
Three fires in Los Angeles.
1503
01:04:38.469 --> 01:04:40.679
And it goes, this show's over. I wouldn't bring it up.
1504
01:04:40.929 --> 01:04:45.849
So wait, so Chad GBT knew that it was a mistake.
1505
01:04:45.869 --> 01:04:47.840
They know everything.
1506
01:04:47.949 --> 01:04:53.079
I would have ended on the journey bit. That really killed.
1507
01:04:53.440 --> 01:04:54.639
I thought you had timing.
1508
01:04:54.739 --> 01:04:55.420
You're proving.
1509
01:04:56.420 --> 01:04:56.739
Yeah.
1510
01:04:56.920 --> 01:04:58.880
All right, David. I hope I see you real soon.
1511
01:04:59.139 --> 01:05:01.889
Yeah, give me about 100 yards ahead of you, and
1512
01:05:01.909 --> 01:05:02.510
then you take off.
1513
01:05:02.820 --> 01:05:02.969
Yeah.
1514
01:05:03.090 --> 01:05:03.429
All right, thanks.
1515
01:05:06.289 --> 01:05:10.050
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