Chris Robinson

WEBVTT
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Thank you.
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Good nights are about the people. The laughs. The real
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moments you don't want to miss. So, why step outside?
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Velo tobacco-free nicotine pouches fit seamlessly into your night.
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Velo.
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and addictive substance. If you're new to Velo, start with Mellow.
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You should not use this product if you do not
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already use nicotine.
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The KCR.
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If ever there was a place in dire need of
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an avocado scanner, it's here. So we've put one in
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the new spa. No longer will locals have to merely
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guess the ripeness of their avocados. Not into avos? Well,
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there's bravado coffee, a deli and a Subway too. Under
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the tree at the new spa KCR.
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Hi, my name is Chris Robinson. And I feel confused
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about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
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I don't see why you'd be confused. I think we
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have a natural affection.
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We do, but I get mixed messages from you. I'm
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a Sagittarian. I'm very sensitive. And you know what? I
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need more attention.
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You need more attention from me?
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Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined
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as always by my chums, I suppose, contractual chums, son
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of Obsession.
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That's a good way to put it. We have contracts?
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Matt Borley.
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And we're chums. Yours is written on a lettuce leaf. Listen,
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I was trying to do the introduction and you kept
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badgering me about my face, which you say is.
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It looks extra red, like you got a little sunburned.
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I did, or I'm having some sort of stroke. It
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could be that. But I think it's because I got
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a lot of sun and I'll tell you why. I
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was in New York City for a couple of days
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on business. I'm a man that's got affairs to manage.
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And I was walking around Manhattan a lot.
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You love to walk.
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I do like to walk. The tropical paradise of Manhattan. Well,
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at this time of year.
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Okay, sure.
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This time of year, late spring, early summer. Yeah, and so.
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Nothing provides shade there.
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Well, okay. This is a fun thing that you're doing,
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you know. I'm Fred Astaire trying to dance and you
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keep throwing concrete cinder blocks at my feet. Anyway, yes.
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I was there and it rained the entire time we
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were there.
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Oh!
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What is going on?
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And you know what? Adam doesn't look at all like
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he got any sun.
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Adam, to clarify, the first day that we were there,
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it was sunny, and I was walking around a lot
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on that day, and it doesn't take me very long
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to get red.
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Now that I buy.
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So I did. Yes. So I did. I mean, so yeah. Okay.
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Perry Mason.
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He did get you.
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I'm consulting the almanac. He did. Case closed. I think
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I was there for four days, but I got a
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lot of sun the first day walking around. And then
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the rest of the time it was raining. I did
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have a very unique, just a very New York experience.
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My agent was walking with me, Rick Rosen. We were
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walking hand in hand as agent and client do. You
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were skipping. Yeah, I was skipping.
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La, la, la, la, la.
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He was taking 10% of my joy. But anyway, walking
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down the street, and this was on a sunny day,
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and this guy was probably in his 30s, and he
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had that New York look of, you know, everyone there
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was honking their horns and uptight. Yeah, they honk a lot.
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They're big honkers. They honk a lot because the traffic
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was bad and people were uptight.
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Big honkers.
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Yeah, and I'm walking along with my agent, and this
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guy is walking by, and he looks kind of intense,
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and he sees me, and he says, I really fucking
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like your show. It's fucking good. But he said it
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and my agent said, what's he so mad about? And
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he's a fan of the podcast, but he said it like,
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I'm going to fucking kill you. But if you just
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look at the transcript, what he said was quite nice.
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He said, I really fucking like you. I like that
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fucking show. And then he kept walking and off to,
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I think, stab someone in the eye. But I was wondering.
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Do you find people often like your material against their will?
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Yes. I think that is one way to look at
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it is every, it was going against his better judgment
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and he was angry, but I also felt like that's
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probably how he proposed to his wife. I want to
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marry you. I'm going to marry the shit out of you.
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I'm going to put a fucking ring on your finger.
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We're going to be together for 50 years and be
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happy and create eternal bond. Be buried side by side. Fucker. Like,
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but that's how... That kind of felt like who he was.
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I get a little angrier in New York because you
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have to be on your A game. You know, you're
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walking and then you're behind someone who's slow and you're
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like this fucking person who's slow and then you walk
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around them.
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Everybody's sunburned.
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Yeah. Okay. I'm telling you, this is what happens. If
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I'm someplace for four days and one day is sunny,
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I will come back, you know, looking like a tomato.
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I just will.
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I have.
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And I should have put on some sunscreen. I usually
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am pretty good about it.
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You are.
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You are what?
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You are good about putting on sunscreen.
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Yeah, but I didn't do it when I was in
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New York because I thought the same thing you guys
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are thinking. I'm not going to put on sunscreen and
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walk around New York City. And again, it didn't even
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seem that sunny out. I shouldn't live on planet Earth.
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Yeah.
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I don't think I belong on Earth. All right.
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So what happens now when you get a little burnt?
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Like, do you have to, like, go see your dermatologist?
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No.
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Okay.
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All right.
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I don't know how it works with you.
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I don't think I'm with me.
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Yeah.
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I have to go into a hyperbaric chamber. And I
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have to be attended to by Mormons for nine weeks.
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What?
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They put creams and stuff on your face.
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Yeah, they cover me with creams.
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Really?
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It's a Howard Hughes reference. He was attended by Mormons.
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You got to know your references. Why the Mormons? Howard
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Hughes had... was very controlling and he, he wanted, uh,
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white male Mormons to take care of him. I think
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he thought, you know, I mean, look, the man was
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kind of kooky and yes, a little kooky. I don't
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know how we, you, you sidetracked me, but, um, I
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did a, what I thought was a clever reference and
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you could pick it up or not. But then, uh,
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I just asked, uh, No, I know. And I'm telling you.
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I just asked.
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I didn't get the reference.
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I just asked.
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And you know what? If you were working for Howard Hughes,
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he'd be right now clawing at you with his 10-inch fingernails.
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To be fair, I kind of am working for Howard Hughes.
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Oh, please. I have more money than him. Wait, what happened?
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That's me.
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That's my alarm.
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Oh, no.
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You're better.
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Oh my God.
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Oh my God.
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Let me explain.
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Oh no.
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Dogs and cats living together.
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Let me explain to the listener what just happened. Why
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did your alarm go off? Because it was.
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Because I had to put.
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Money- That's a microphone.
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I had to put money in my meter.
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Okay. And people are probably going to be like, what?
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You have to pay to go to work?
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And you know what?
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You give us all free parking spaces, but it's too far.
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What is that?
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These are very sensitive electronics underneath this table. Now, Eduardo
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freaks out because Eduardo built this studio. And Eduardo, why
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don't you explain- What could be happening to the electronic systems?
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Wait, can we finish the story? Because you didn't explain
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what happened just now.
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We'll get there in a second. Will you let the
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coach run the team?
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Are you the coach?
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Yeah, I'm a very masculine coach. This is Friday Night Lights.
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This will be brief.
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You are not Coach Taylor.
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Thankfully, the water spilled over two microphone ports that we
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don't use that often.
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I've got a port I don't use too often.
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But if we try to connect microphones to them, the
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likelihood is they're not going to work now.
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Oh, is that true? Now, do we have to take
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the whole table apart?
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I'll probably have to take the table apart at a
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future date and replace those two.
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Wait, why did you build something that could... Is it
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made of sugar? Why did you build something that was
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so fragile?
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Well, electronics and water are usually not a good combination.
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Unless you know what you're doing.
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Now, I'm just saying, Eduardo, I'm not.
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Jesus Christ!
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Did you even mention, Coach, that you'd spilled water all
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over the table?
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Well, I think you're the one to blame because your
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alarm went off. I went to get your phone to
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turn it off. My microphone knocked over a glass of water.
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All I know is I'm not to blame.
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I retract the formula.
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Electronics, water, and Conan. Not a good combination.
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That's.
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I have a question.
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But shouldn't we, if we're not using ports, shouldn't they
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be covered? Aren't there port covers that we could be using?
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You're not going to blame Eduardo.
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No, Eduardo, don't you think that might be smart?
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Or can we put covers on the glasses?
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No, it wouldn't work because people frequently sip from the glasses.
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But if a microphone port is not in use, it
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should be covered. It should be covered. Should it not? Now,
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tell me if you think I have a decent idea here, Adam.
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Be fair. Okay, you're so far away from a microphone.
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He said it was raining in New York.
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I think we should cover the microphone ports.
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I think port covers is a brilliant idea.
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And Eduardo, I forgive you. Maybe I'm thinking of it
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as a business idea. Eduardo, I forgive you for not
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thinking of it.
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Okay, wait. That only covers part of the problem.
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I have a point.
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Because what if your water just spilled all the way
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to Sona's mic, potentially, and Gourley's original mic?
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I would get to the water long before that happened.
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I have a comment to make.
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When you heard my phone go off, did you try
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to reach for my phone because you thought the phone
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was ringing and you wanted to answer it?
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No, I thought it was ringing with a soft G. Oh, God.
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I've never put up a rap sign more fervently than this.
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Maybe you need to grow up and not reach for
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my phone or you're going to tip over your water.
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Maybe it's behavioral.
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Okay. Well, I guess. I agree. Oh, of course, Edward.
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on your side because he was the one that failed to...
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build the challenger properly.
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So what you're saying is, you're saying, Sonia, you're saying
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bad boundaries is what tipped over that wall.
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I'm saying if you were a little bit more mature
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in handling my phone going off, then this entire situation.
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During a podcast? I think that's an egregious mistake.
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Give me a parking spot.
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Give me a parking spot. You see how much space
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is back there. I know. Now, Jeff likes to come
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and park in kind of a funky way. Yeah. Of course,
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Adam has to be here.
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Yeah.
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Right?
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Yeah. But Jeff sends his car over even when he
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doesn't come in. He has someone drive his car over
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and wedge it into the parking space.
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Some of us have families.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Andy comes with a big van that runs on, you know.
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castor oil and so there's no room back.
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There i know and you know in in your defense
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i don't know why i'm defending you after just criticizing
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you you do give me a free parking space it's
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just like a block away and i just don't.
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Want to i don't want to walk we are from
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la you don't walk you guys never formed legs.
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Wow all right so you can't anyway you can't be
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out in the sun i.
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Think what we learned here is the following okay there
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was enough sun for me to get burned in New York.
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So Adam, you lose. The microphone ports should be covered.
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You should have thought of that, Eduardo. Sona, you have
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a free parking space. It's only a block away. You
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could have gotten there and you should turn off your
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alarm when you come in. Conan wins again. Hey, my
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guest today is a musician and co-founder of the Black Crows,
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whose 10th studio album, Happiness Bastards, is out now. Chris Robinson, welcome.
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You are going to get so much attention from me.
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I adore you. You know that. I am a massive
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fan of your work. We can get into all that,
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but boy, you talk about, oh man, I've always wanted
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to meet Chris Robinson. And then from the first time
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I met you when you would come on the late
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night show, You were so goddamn hilarious. And then I'm talking,
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I ran into you recently and let's just say we
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hung out for a little bit. Let's just say. Let's
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just say.
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See what I mean about these mixed messages.
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Let's just say there was a hang. There was a
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hang with the Robinson Brothers. Maybe we did and maybe
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we didn't. And some tequila was involved, some high-end tequila.
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Yeah, yeah.
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We had a really good time and you were making
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me laugh so hard. And at one point you said
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something to me. I think you mentioned... your wife, and
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you said, I said, oh, your wife? And you said, yes, yes,
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my third wife. And then you said, I'm not afraid
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to love, Conan! And I started laughing so hard! And
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you were that level of funny the whole time. I
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was just so delighted. Yeah, because you're a very talented musician,
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front man for one of the great bands of all time,
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and I also think you are a comedian. I think
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you're a really funny fucking comedian.
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My initial... foray into the business we all know as show.
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Thank you.
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And when I was a teenager, I didn't, you know,
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I knew I wasn't probably going to be the manager
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at a, barnes and nobles or whatever.
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Because you didn't try you need to really dedicate yourself
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my dyslexic uh reality has made it very difficult for
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me in the day job world.
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But so i had an acting class and um i
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was horrible i was a horrible actor but the guy
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who ran it had like a you know like a
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local cable show. It was like a sketch comedy show.
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And I would be like, oh, I can do the
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rabbi who sells, you know, barbecue or whatever.
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You know what I mean?
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Yeah, yeah, exactly. He thought I wasn't a good actor,
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but he thought I was funny. And he was like, oh,
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write some sketches. And then I started doing that. And
326
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then the very first thing I ever did was stand-up
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comedy at this club. I opened for, like, what's the
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guy's name? Washington, older... George Washington. Not that guy. Okay.
329
00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:01.440
No, he never did. He always performed.
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There's other people than George Washington. I mean, he's a
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very big one.
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00:14:06.899 --> 00:14:09.899
You went right to the oldest and the most famous Washington.
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00:14:10.440 --> 00:14:12.899
Which is cool that we could just narrow it down
334
00:14:12.919 --> 00:14:13.279
so quickly.
335
00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:14.940
Well, clearly who he was made it big.
336
00:14:14.960 --> 00:14:18.950
No, but he's big. He's big. He's a black comic.
337
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He's older. He wears a Kangol backwards.
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George Wallace.
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Oh, George Wallace.
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Yes, George Wallace. You confused him with another famous statesman.
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00:14:26.429 --> 00:14:31.899
George Wallace. Yes. Make America George Wallace again. They're doing
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00:14:31.960 --> 00:14:40.019
it in Alabama. But yes, George Wallace, I opened for him.
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00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:40.559
That's crazy.
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00:14:40.600 --> 00:14:41.399
It was horrible.
345
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I didn't know any of this. He was funny.
346
00:14:44.039 --> 00:14:47.120
And I do wonder sometimes, though, if I had, you
347
00:14:47.159 --> 00:14:50.500
know what I mean? Because like anything else, you practice
348
00:14:50.539 --> 00:14:56.549
the dark arts. Comedy isn't. is an entire dimensional thing.
349
00:14:56.730 --> 00:15:00.889
But trust me, Chris, you chose wisely. Because every comedian,
350
00:15:00.909 --> 00:15:04.720
myself included, we dabble. I walk around. I play my
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00:15:04.750 --> 00:15:07.559
guitar in front of the mirror still at my advanced age.
352
00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:11.309
I dream about getting to live that life. And I
353
00:15:11.330 --> 00:15:13.309
don't even mean in a big way. I mean, if
354
00:15:13.370 --> 00:15:16.210
I was just touring and just barely getting by in
355
00:15:16.250 --> 00:15:16.970
an old van.
356
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Should I do the same thing? I would do it.
357
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I feel like I would do that.
358
00:15:19.470 --> 00:15:23.750
I'm at the Chuckle Bucket in Oklahoma. I've put on
359
00:15:23.750 --> 00:15:28.480
50 pounds. It's like Jake LaMotta talking at the end
360
00:15:28.509 --> 00:15:33.559
of his career. And I dream too. Can I dream?
361
00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:35.299
You can dream. You can dream.
362
00:15:36.059 --> 00:15:36.940
You guys should switch.
363
00:15:36.980 --> 00:15:39.000
You take on the Black Crows and you take on
364
00:15:39.039 --> 00:15:39.720
this podcast.
365
00:15:39.820 --> 00:15:42.480
I know, but he's been very successful. My dream, he
366
00:15:42.519 --> 00:15:45.019
said his music dream goes to life.
367
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Mine would, I'm telling you, I would take on.
368
00:15:47.399 --> 00:15:50.850
You're like Johnny Thunders in New Orleans. The last day
369
00:15:50.929 --> 00:15:51.970
before it's all over.
370
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Was it a crime?
371
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We don't know.
372
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I would take down the Black Crows instantly. You would
373
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let me borrow the Black Crows for one day and
374
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it would be, nope, it's over. And you can never
375
00:16:02.090 --> 00:16:05.690
use that name again. I remember very clearly, and I've
376
00:16:05.769 --> 00:16:09.559
talked to you about this, but your band was very
377
00:16:09.600 --> 00:16:12.460
important to me at a very important time. So around
378
00:16:12.460 --> 00:16:16.120
1990 is when I'm around the time I'm leaving SNL
379
00:16:16.159 --> 00:16:19.419
and I go work on The Simpsons. And I am
380
00:16:19.539 --> 00:16:22.870
driving around a lot alone. And I am listening to
381
00:16:23.269 --> 00:16:27.029
Shake Your Moneymaker until the thing just I think I
382
00:16:27.070 --> 00:16:29.389
had it back when you would slide a CD. Yeah.
383
00:16:30.149 --> 00:16:33.629
into the Ford Taurus you were driving around, and that's
384
00:16:33.690 --> 00:16:34.129
a true story.
385
00:16:34.169 --> 00:16:35.649
God forbid a cassette gets in there.
386
00:16:35.730 --> 00:16:38.230
Yeah, God forbid, yeah. I think my problem was I
387
00:16:38.269 --> 00:16:40.970
was shoving a cassette into the CD slide, but it
388
00:16:41.009 --> 00:16:43.129
sounded great still. I listened to that, and I thought,
389
00:16:43.149 --> 00:16:46.370
this is so great, and then flash forward a little time,
390
00:16:46.610 --> 00:16:49.269
and I'm about to leave The Simpsons, and I know
391
00:16:49.289 --> 00:16:51.600
that something big is gonna happen in my life. I
392
00:16:51.620 --> 00:16:54.059
can just sense it. I'm about to take on this
393
00:16:54.139 --> 00:16:58.019
late night show, and the Southern Harmony and Musical Companion
394
00:16:58.059 --> 00:17:02.389
comes out, And for my money, as much as I
395
00:17:02.500 --> 00:17:05.710
know Shake Your Moneymaker was the Atomic Bomb Blast, I
396
00:17:05.730 --> 00:17:09.009
think the Southern Harmony and Musical Companion is a perfect,
397
00:17:10.029 --> 00:17:10.509
perfect album.
398
00:17:10.549 --> 00:17:12.869
Thank you. I mean, I think it's probably our, you know,
399
00:17:12.930 --> 00:17:14.289
it's our best one.
400
00:17:14.329 --> 00:17:17.279
It's absolutely fantastic. And I listened to it and I
401
00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:18.440
listened to it and I listened to it and I
402
00:17:18.460 --> 00:17:23.539
would listen to Remedy and then into Thorn in My Pride.
403
00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:26.400
And I would drive around at night like a serial killer.
404
00:17:27.180 --> 00:17:29.339
Without the killing part. Yeah, yeah. Which, you know, kind
405
00:17:29.380 --> 00:17:29.769
of ruined it.
406
00:17:29.799 --> 00:17:32.529
But just the obsession and the focus and the.
407
00:17:33.349 --> 00:17:34.230
The staring.
408
00:17:34.269 --> 00:17:36.269
Letting the... Choosing.
409
00:17:36.849 --> 00:17:39.710
And choosing my victims but not doing anything.
410
00:17:39.730 --> 00:17:40.769
Yeah, and the van.
411
00:17:40.809 --> 00:17:41.809
Yeah, let the.
412
00:17:42.069 --> 00:17:44.250
You have a van that's ready, but you just never
413
00:17:44.269 --> 00:17:44.460
use it.
414
00:17:44.509 --> 00:17:46.740
I have all these tools, but I don't use those either.
415
00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:49.220
Let the madness overtake you.
416
00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:49.880
You know what it is?
417
00:17:49.900 --> 00:17:51.700
But not completely sweep you away.
418
00:17:51.839 --> 00:17:52.220
Of course.
419
00:17:52.880 --> 00:17:53.599
Walk to the edge.
420
00:17:53.660 --> 00:17:56.339
You know what I was? I was the slacker serial killer.
421
00:17:57.180 --> 00:17:59.470
I never quite could get my ass up and do
422
00:17:59.509 --> 00:18:00.369
the actual crime.
423
00:18:00.509 --> 00:18:04.089
Oh, you're like the serial killer with obsessive compulsive disorder
424
00:18:04.170 --> 00:18:14.769
who's like, I can't touch entrails in wool. There must
425
00:18:14.809 --> 00:18:16.190
be a chat room for that.
426
00:18:17.569 --> 00:18:21.750
But anyway, that was huge for me. And then over
427
00:18:21.789 --> 00:18:24.509
the years on the late night show, you guys would
428
00:18:24.549 --> 00:18:27.049
come on. And one of my favorite memories, and I
429
00:18:27.069 --> 00:18:30.619
have a still photo of it somewhere. You were touring
430
00:18:31.539 --> 00:18:34.160
with the great Jimmy Page. You and your brother, the
431
00:18:34.200 --> 00:18:35.559
Black Crows with Jimmy Page.
432
00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:40.759
We call him, you know, Jim. I'm just kidding. I
433
00:18:40.799 --> 00:18:42.680
call him Mr. Page.
434
00:18:42.980 --> 00:18:45.059
You call him Sir Page.
435
00:18:45.559 --> 00:18:46.599
Sir Page.
436
00:18:46.900 --> 00:18:51.720
But you guys did something with him, which was mind blowing.
437
00:18:51.740 --> 00:18:54.920
And then you came over and you sat down and
438
00:18:55.009 --> 00:18:57.750
you had said just before the show, you said, hey, Conan.
439
00:18:58.369 --> 00:19:00.190
I want you to bring out the masturbating bear while
440
00:19:00.230 --> 00:19:00.769
I'm sitting there.
441
00:19:00.789 --> 00:19:02.569
That's the only reason. I thought he would be here today.
442
00:19:02.589 --> 00:19:02.670
Yeah.
443
00:19:02.789 --> 00:19:05.819
That's the only reason you're here.
444
00:19:05.890 --> 00:19:08.039
Now it's like we have a lactating raccoon.
445
00:19:15.309 --> 00:19:16.970
It's a male raccoon.
446
00:19:17.069 --> 00:19:23.329
Still lactating. We're out of oat milk, but bring that
447
00:19:23.390 --> 00:19:27.890
raccoon in here. The raccoon's nipples are like hanging on
448
00:19:27.930 --> 00:19:29.869
the table. Leave me alone.
449
00:19:30.589 --> 00:19:31.049
Enough.
450
00:19:31.410 --> 00:19:32.539
What's wrong with you?
451
00:19:32.579 --> 00:19:33.980
Get some fucking oat milk.
452
00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:36.579
Like everybody else in Los Angeles.
453
00:19:39.740 --> 00:19:42.220
So I said yes. So the great thing is that,
454
00:19:42.339 --> 00:19:45.250
of course, you and Rich, you know what's going on.
455
00:19:45.289 --> 00:19:49.869
You've watched the show before. You were chatting with Jimmy Page.
456
00:19:50.119 --> 00:19:52.559
the creator of Led Zeppelin, when all of a sudden
457
00:19:53.319 --> 00:19:56.259
we had the bear come out and start masturbating in
458
00:19:56.299 --> 00:19:59.500
front of Jimmy, and you and your brother are howling, laughing,
459
00:19:59.960 --> 00:20:03.069
and Jimmy has this look of like, I've seen it all.
460
00:20:04.470 --> 00:20:06.910
I'm sorry. And he didn't know what it was, but
461
00:20:06.950 --> 00:20:09.150
a bear came out in a diaper and started masturbating
462
00:20:09.190 --> 00:20:11.269
in front of him on national television. And he was
463
00:20:11.309 --> 00:20:15.549
just like, oh, this happened in 72. Yeah, yeah. In Seattle.
464
00:20:16.269 --> 00:20:16.769
My boy.
465
00:20:16.789 --> 00:20:21.910
He's like, I live in Aleister Crowley's home. You know
466
00:20:21.930 --> 00:20:23.680
what I mean? This is nothing.
467
00:20:23.700 --> 00:20:28.539
You think a masturbating bear will phase me? The Led
468
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:30.740
Zeppelin jet was flown by a masturbating bear.
469
00:20:31.880 --> 00:20:35.640
And in his mind, he's like, that bear's not really masturbating.
470
00:20:35.660 --> 00:20:40.690
He's just simply touching the bulge in his diaper very quickly.
471
00:20:42.670 --> 00:20:46.130
My boy, let me show you how it's done. Let
472
00:20:46.170 --> 00:20:50.019
me bring out my whips. Yeah, it was. So there
473
00:20:50.039 --> 00:20:52.119
was a picture. I got to find it, but I
474
00:20:52.140 --> 00:20:54.220
got it framed. I love it so much. And it's
475
00:20:54.259 --> 00:20:55.920
you and your brother and Jimmy between you and the
476
00:20:55.960 --> 00:20:58.039
bear batting at the bulge in his diaper.
477
00:20:58.059 --> 00:21:00.579
The bear also, like, because of, like, you know, I
478
00:21:00.920 --> 00:21:03.319
was so excited. You know what I mean? Make America
479
00:21:03.339 --> 00:21:08.970
great again. Bring that motherfucker back. You know what I mean?
480
00:21:09.009 --> 00:21:11.509
We did an episode once towards the end where we
481
00:21:11.569 --> 00:21:13.849
revealed the identity of the bear and he was masturbating
482
00:21:13.869 --> 00:21:15.329
and then we removed it and it was Jim Carrey.
483
00:21:15.640 --> 00:21:16.220
That's right.
484
00:21:16.289 --> 00:21:18.309
And Jim Carrey was in the suit.
485
00:21:18.970 --> 00:21:21.210
I was around, too. I'm no Jim Carrey, but I
486
00:21:21.390 --> 00:21:23.309
could have jumped in there. You could have jumped in.
487
00:21:23.349 --> 00:21:24.009
You can still do it.
488
00:21:24.109 --> 00:21:24.970
Oh, my God.
489
00:21:24.990 --> 00:21:27.890
We still got that costume. We can hose it off.
490
00:21:28.730 --> 00:21:29.569
Oh, God.
491
00:21:29.609 --> 00:21:33.269
But, you know, you have said that all those years
492
00:21:33.349 --> 00:21:37.670
of touring, the drugs interested you not as much like
493
00:21:37.730 --> 00:21:39.779
the sex. Like, you'd read about these other heavy metal
494
00:21:39.799 --> 00:21:42.339
groups that were into group sex, and you had this
495
00:21:42.420 --> 00:21:45.819
great quote where you went... please, group sex is unhygienic.
496
00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:51.220
And I was like, he's right. Maybe that's why I've
497
00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:51.859
never done it.
498
00:21:51.880 --> 00:21:55.640
Let me tell you something. Maybe, I don't know why
499
00:21:55.700 --> 00:21:57.400
I'm the way I am, but it's like, I didn't
500
00:21:57.420 --> 00:21:59.440
do group sex and I don't do all you can
501
00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:00.809
eat sushi. You know what I mean?
502
00:22:00.890 --> 00:22:02.809
It's like... I just.
503
00:22:03.210 --> 00:22:04.750
When you see all you get, I'm like, I don't
504
00:22:04.789 --> 00:22:07.170
know if that's something that I want access to as
505
00:22:07.349 --> 00:22:09.309
much as I can till I vomit.
506
00:22:09.349 --> 00:22:10.009
Yeah. Yeah.
507
00:22:10.329 --> 00:22:13.490
Or whatever. It's just weird. I mean, uh, yeah, I
508
00:22:13.529 --> 00:22:17.609
don't know. I was, I was always a one woman
509
00:22:17.849 --> 00:22:20.069
kind of person. I liked a relationship.
510
00:22:20.259 --> 00:22:20.410
Yep.
511
00:22:21.059 --> 00:22:22.720
Uh, doesn't mean I was very good at him until
512
00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:26.380
very recently and the jury is still out, but, but
513
00:22:26.579 --> 00:22:29.420
what if you meet a girl and she doesn't have
514
00:22:29.519 --> 00:22:33.259
any big star records. You know what I mean? Like,
515
00:22:33.660 --> 00:22:36.160
your shoes don't go with this outfit.
516
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:36.940
What are you?
517
00:22:37.099 --> 00:22:38.599
We're not going to hang. You know what I mean?
518
00:22:38.619 --> 00:22:39.309
I have certain.
519
00:22:39.589 --> 00:22:44.410
Wow. Your bar is so high. All I need to know.
520
00:22:44.809 --> 00:22:46.250
All they need to know as far as I'm concerned
521
00:22:46.289 --> 00:22:47.670
is that I was on television.
522
00:22:47.690 --> 00:22:47.910
Yeah.
523
00:22:50.069 --> 00:22:51.970
You were a game show host? Good enough!
524
00:22:52.029 --> 00:22:53.869
Yeah, I did.
525
00:22:53.910 --> 00:22:57.289
Were you on a movie or something? Yeah, whatever! Let's go!
526
00:22:57.309 --> 00:23:01.650
I saw you on an episode of Canon. And to
527
00:23:01.710 --> 00:23:02.549
catch a predator.
528
00:23:02.710 --> 00:23:06.569
Yeah, whatever, sure! And I did get caught, so what?
529
00:23:19.349 --> 00:23:23.109
Good nights are about the people. The laughs. The real
530
00:23:23.150 --> 00:23:26.339
moments you don't want to miss. So, why step outside?
531
00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:30.539
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532
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Velo.
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535
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and addictive substance. If you're new to Velo, start with Mellow.
536
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You should not use this product if you do not
537
00:23:43.650 --> 00:23:44.450
already use nicotine.
538
00:23:46.160 --> 00:23:46.880
The KCR.
539
00:23:47.319 --> 00:23:49.160
If ever there was a place in dire need of
540
00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:52.980
an avocado scanner, it's here. So we've put one in
541
00:23:53.009 --> 00:23:55.690
the new spa. No longer will locals have to merely
542
00:23:55.890 --> 00:23:59.750
guess the ripeness of their avocados. Not into avos? Well,
543
00:23:59.849 --> 00:24:03.650
there's bravado coffee, a deli and a Subway too. Under
544
00:24:03.670 --> 00:24:05.819
the tree at the new spa KCR.
545
00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:11.319
Hi, I'm Ardlow Hanlon, host of Clayton Hotel's new Bedcast series,
546
00:24:11.559 --> 00:24:14.579
Up Close and Personally. I'm hopping back into bed again
547
00:24:14.619 --> 00:24:18.079
to ask one too many questions. Ever wondered, would Nicky
548
00:24:18.099 --> 00:24:22.299
Byrne rename Westlife? Where Vogue Williams gets her unshakable confidence?
549
00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:26.519
Or how Mylene Klass rose to fame? Yes, well, me too. So,
550
00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:29.079
they've jumped into bed across from me to share their stories,
551
00:24:29.339 --> 00:24:31.960
all from the comfort of my Clayton Hotel room. You
552
00:24:31.980 --> 00:24:34.500
can find the Up Close and Personal bedcast series on
553
00:24:34.559 --> 00:24:35.940
Clayton Hotel's social channels.
554
00:24:36.279 --> 00:24:46.660
MUSIC the trajectory that you guys went through. I think
555
00:24:46.740 --> 00:24:49.180
in the space of, I don't know if it's like
556
00:24:49.220 --> 00:24:52.859
a year maybe, you go from playing to, I think
557
00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:54.960
you've said, maybe 18 people.
558
00:24:54.700 --> 00:24:56.789
In a room. Sometimes I wish it was 18.
559
00:24:56.789 --> 00:24:59.720
18 people in a room, let's say, and a year later,
560
00:24:59.740 --> 00:25:04.480
after Shake Your Moneymaker, you're playing to hundreds of thousands
561
00:25:04.500 --> 00:25:05.960
of people in Moscow.
562
00:25:05.980 --> 00:25:06.799
All around the world.
563
00:25:06.839 --> 00:25:10.339
All around the world. And you're how old?
564
00:25:10.339 --> 00:25:15.089
23 turning 24. Yeah. Rich is just turning 20, 21.
565
00:25:15.089 --> 00:25:17.529
I've always said, again, I don't have a lot of
566
00:25:17.589 --> 00:25:20.049
experience with drugs, but I defy anyone to find a
567
00:25:20.109 --> 00:25:24.089
more powerful drug than adulation from a big crowd. I
568
00:25:24.289 --> 00:25:27.609
think that goes right into your heart, like very powerful cocaine.
569
00:25:27.930 --> 00:25:30.250
You know, it's funny. Izzy Stradlin from Guns N' Roses
570
00:25:30.309 --> 00:25:33.069
invited Rich and I to his house in like early 1990.
571
00:25:33.049 --> 00:25:35.970
We were out here. And we were like, I mean,
572
00:25:36.170 --> 00:25:38.529
that's Guns N' Roses. They're still Guns N' Roses, but
573
00:25:38.710 --> 00:25:42.970
then they were like Guns N' Roses. And we were like, cool.
574
00:25:43.009 --> 00:25:45.630
And he was like, oh, man, thanks for coming over.
575
00:25:45.670 --> 00:25:48.190
I just wanted to meet you guys. And I don't
576
00:25:48.210 --> 00:25:50.240
know if you're prepared for what's going to happen. And
577
00:25:50.259 --> 00:25:52.660
we were like, you're going to pay for lunch? I
578
00:25:52.700 --> 00:25:55.000
didn't know. We're prepared for that.
579
00:25:55.079 --> 00:25:55.880
I have $ 8.
580
00:25:55.579 --> 00:26:01.519
You just sold 800 million records. But no, we're not
581
00:26:01.539 --> 00:26:04.390
getting lunch time. Never mind, never mind. uh but that
582
00:26:04.829 --> 00:26:06.670
what fame and the you know he goes you just
583
00:26:06.769 --> 00:26:09.269
just hang on and you know it's funny that was
584
00:26:09.789 --> 00:26:11.839
we you have no idea you don't i mean you
585
00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:14.019
you think about those things it's the same thing i
586
00:26:14.039 --> 00:26:16.900
was teasing before about reading a book or whatever at
587
00:26:16.940 --> 00:26:22.079
the end of 1991 we're in europe and david bowie
588
00:26:22.200 --> 00:26:25.640
is in a band called tin machine with reese grabrell
589
00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:28.380
guitar player who's now in the cure fantastic guitar player
590
00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:30.309
great guy i haven't seen him in a little while
591
00:26:30.329 --> 00:26:33.569
but We were all in Dublin together and he was like,
592
00:26:33.630 --> 00:26:35.990
and it was funny. I had this, I look back
593
00:26:36.069 --> 00:26:38.690
on this day. It was a, it was funny. You
594
00:26:38.710 --> 00:26:40.809
want to have breakfast with me and David, David Bowie?
595
00:26:40.829 --> 00:26:44.130
And I was like, yeah, of course I do. He's paying, right?
596
00:26:44.150 --> 00:26:44.990
I'm just kidding.
597
00:26:45.410 --> 00:26:46.809
You're obsessed with that.
598
00:26:46.990 --> 00:26:48.170
Well, I'm just thinking at the time.
599
00:26:48.470 --> 00:26:51.470
That water's on us.
600
00:26:51.630 --> 00:26:54.269
But at the time I was probably very nervous, but again,
601
00:26:54.289 --> 00:26:57.970
I had, I had made one record, you know, my
602
00:26:58.029 --> 00:27:02.099
life is changing, but I've made one record. Fucking David Bowie.
603
00:27:02.440 --> 00:27:05.880
I mean, he's Rock's chameleon. Yeah. But he's David Bowie.
604
00:27:05.920 --> 00:27:11.349
He's already this iconic... He's already this archetype of a
605
00:27:11.589 --> 00:27:15.650
certain thing that we associate culturally with rock and roll.
606
00:27:15.890 --> 00:27:17.309
And what am I going to be like? Well, there
607
00:27:17.349 --> 00:27:19.539
was that time I was in the studio last week.
608
00:27:19.559 --> 00:27:20.099
You know what I mean?
609
00:27:20.220 --> 00:27:24.579
I hadn't traveled. I haven't done anything. And he was
610
00:27:24.619 --> 00:27:29.230
very aloof. It wasn't that he was... But I realized, like,
611
00:27:29.430 --> 00:27:32.109
what did I have to offer that conversation? Even if
612
00:27:32.609 --> 00:27:37.829
I'm smart, whatever. It wasn't adding up. We go that night.
613
00:27:38.049 --> 00:27:41.450
The Edge has a birthday party at his mansion. And
614
00:27:41.470 --> 00:27:44.609
we're invited to that. So Bono was there. He was
615
00:27:44.650 --> 00:27:46.150
dressed as Che Rivera, which was.
616
00:27:46.950 --> 00:27:47.130
What?
617
00:27:47.450 --> 00:27:50.170
He was. What? He didn't have, you know.
618
00:27:50.289 --> 00:27:52.369
It was Che Guevara night in Ireland, yeah.
619
00:27:52.549 --> 00:27:56.349
I mean, yeah. I mean, he had the... He was completely...
620
00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:57.779
So I thought he was.
621
00:27:58.319 --> 00:27:58.519
Yeah.
622
00:27:58.980 --> 00:28:03.019
It wasn't Pol Pot, I tell you that. But he was.
623
00:28:04.019 --> 00:28:05.589
That was Friday. Yeah, yeah.
624
00:28:05.609 --> 00:28:08.150
That was a private party. I didn't think it would
625
00:28:08.170 --> 00:28:11.410
be good to have a costume party, but it has
626
00:28:11.430 --> 00:28:13.490
to be private where everyone comes as the worst person
627
00:28:13.509 --> 00:28:16.710
in the world. I'm like, there's two Jim Joneses here.
628
00:28:17.230 --> 00:28:19.910
Guys.
629
00:28:19.950 --> 00:28:21.769
You're like, well, I thought you were.
630
00:28:21.789 --> 00:28:22.630
We got a call ahead.
631
00:28:22.710 --> 00:28:24.289
I thought you were coming as Herman Hess.
632
00:28:24.430 --> 00:28:25.450
I'm like, all right.
633
00:28:26.099 --> 00:28:31.519
The wrong size boots. God damn it. But I'm not
634
00:28:31.579 --> 00:28:33.259
saying Shea is a bad part. I'm not at all.
635
00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:34.180
He's a revolutionary.
636
00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:34.700
Sure.
637
00:28:35.019 --> 00:28:36.640
But the point of the story is Bono's like, oh,
638
00:28:36.660 --> 00:28:37.640
you're in the Black Crows.
639
00:28:37.720 --> 00:28:38.039
I go, yeah.
640
00:28:38.059 --> 00:28:41.529
And he goes, oh, you poor bastard. You'll never sell
641
00:28:41.549 --> 00:28:44.289
that many records again. You know that. I was like, Jesus, Bono.
642
00:28:44.309 --> 00:28:46.609
This is, I mean, I don't know what's going to happen. Oh,
643
00:28:46.730 --> 00:28:48.849
I do. I'm Bono. You know, look at me. I'm
644
00:28:48.890 --> 00:28:53.789
in my fatigues, you know. But he said that and...
645
00:28:54.420 --> 00:28:56.559
And in a way, though, I get it. You know
646
00:28:56.579 --> 00:28:59.859
what I mean? Because other bands, bands that we love,
647
00:29:00.960 --> 00:29:06.460
every story is different to get to where you end up.
648
00:29:06.539 --> 00:29:10.160
And I always envied the, you have one record, it's
649
00:29:10.220 --> 00:29:13.970
pretty good. You could terrace up this thing and start
650
00:29:14.009 --> 00:29:17.970
to learn your way around an industry and a business
651
00:29:18.029 --> 00:29:21.839
that Can be horrible. Horrible. Some of the worst people
652
00:29:22.019 --> 00:29:22.579
in the world.
653
00:29:22.759 --> 00:29:22.940
Yep.
654
00:29:23.180 --> 00:29:24.940
Again, it's the same thing when you sign your first
655
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.150
record contract and the lawyer goes, this is the worst
656
00:29:29.250 --> 00:29:33.630
thing you'll ever see. I'll sign that. No, for the
657
00:29:33.670 --> 00:29:37.670
first one. Hold on a minute. So even my even
658
00:29:37.880 --> 00:29:41.480
if it is successful my children will know i'll sign
659
00:29:41.519 --> 00:29:43.539
that you know what i mean like you do it
660
00:29:43.599 --> 00:29:47.460
because at the time there's nothing else.
661
00:29:47.680 --> 00:29:50.259
You just played in front of 18 people and someone's
662
00:29:50.319 --> 00:29:53.240
saying we will make this record and we will put
663
00:29:53.279 --> 00:29:56.990
it out but just sign this and you will sign it.
664
00:29:57.279 --> 00:29:59.140
The Lorne Michaels said to me that one of the
665
00:29:59.160 --> 00:30:01.119
truest things I know it's true now.
666
00:30:01.720 --> 00:30:03.740
And he said, Conan, that's my chair.
667
00:30:03.880 --> 00:30:09.349
He said, that's my chair. It's my show. But he said, um, he's,
668
00:30:09.690 --> 00:30:12.470
you know, cause I was, uh, many people would say
669
00:30:12.490 --> 00:30:16.230
like I was signing crazy, signing away a lot of things. And,
670
00:30:16.369 --> 00:30:17.730
but I was brand new and.
671
00:30:17.630 --> 00:30:19.009
You don't have a lot of leverage.
672
00:30:19.029 --> 00:30:21.170
I had no leverage. And so what he said to
673
00:30:21.210 --> 00:30:23.009
me was, he said, look, And he had that kind
674
00:30:23.029 --> 00:30:24.970
of my boy. And he was absolutely right. He said
675
00:30:25.380 --> 00:30:27.140
many of the smartest things I've heard about show business
676
00:30:27.160 --> 00:30:29.819
have been from Lorne Michaels. And he said, Conan, they
677
00:30:29.859 --> 00:30:32.759
take advantage of you for five years. Then it's your turn.
678
00:30:33.700 --> 00:30:35.779
And I didn't know what he was talking about. But,
679
00:30:36.319 --> 00:30:37.619
you know, if you put in the time and you
680
00:30:37.640 --> 00:30:39.920
can hang in there, then you get to say, if
681
00:30:39.960 --> 00:30:42.329
you want more of what I'm doing, I would like
682
00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:43.410
to set the terms now.
683
00:30:43.420 --> 00:30:46.329
Isn't it weird? Before the Kardashians came on TV, five
684
00:30:46.349 --> 00:30:49.049
years seemed like a long time. Now it's like 83
685
00:30:49.049 --> 00:30:51.509
seasons of that bullshit. You know what I mean? Yeah.
686
00:30:51.569 --> 00:30:51.750
Yeah.
687
00:30:52.170 --> 00:30:56.509
Yeah. No, it is true how people always- Just kidding.
688
00:30:56.549 --> 00:30:59.210
I've never even seen five seconds of it. I just
689
00:30:59.230 --> 00:31:00.930
thought it would be funny. I don't know, but it's-
690
00:31:00.970 --> 00:31:02.829
And I don't know if it's funny or if you're
691
00:31:02.849 --> 00:31:03.490
just being nice.
692
00:31:03.609 --> 00:31:07.079
No, no, no. No, it is pretty funny. It is
693
00:31:07.339 --> 00:31:12.599
very funny. I'm always stunned now at, it used to
694
00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:15.059
be like an epic run if a TV show was
695
00:31:15.160 --> 00:31:17.200
on for six years. It was like, wow, you guys
696
00:31:17.220 --> 00:31:19.380
did six years and you're going to go into syndication.
697
00:31:19.980 --> 00:31:22.140
And now I'm constantly seeing that a show that, I
698
00:31:22.220 --> 00:31:25.640
swear to God, sounds like it just went on the
699
00:31:25.700 --> 00:31:28.339
air like three years ago. Yeah. Like, not even The
700
00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:33.059
Bachelor or The Bachelorette, but Bachelorette's on stilts. And they'll say,
701
00:31:33.319 --> 00:31:38.319
we're celebrating our 40th season. And you're like, what happened?
702
00:31:38.339 --> 00:31:44.240
The show came out in 1971? Can I tell you
703
00:31:44.259 --> 00:31:45.079
a funny story, though?
704
00:31:45.099 --> 00:31:45.779
Nope, no time.
705
00:31:46.220 --> 00:31:47.279
See you guys later.
706
00:31:47.359 --> 00:31:47.700
Bye.
707
00:31:48.619 --> 00:31:49.099
Shut the door.
708
00:31:49.119 --> 00:31:52.289
The day we had made Shake Your Money Maker. It's
709
00:31:52.450 --> 00:31:56.549
in the can. It's finished. The artwork is done. They're
710
00:31:56.630 --> 00:31:58.829
going to give us the release date. We had a
711
00:31:58.869 --> 00:32:01.410
show in a place called Rome, Georgia. There's a boarding
712
00:32:01.430 --> 00:32:04.180
school there called Darlington that my dad and Rich actually
713
00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:06.440
went to. And they had a little bar up there
714
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:08.660
and we'd play there occasionally. We'd drive the van up.
715
00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:12.579
It's like 90 miles. And we were called Mr. Crow's
716
00:32:12.599 --> 00:32:16.910
Garden and it just didn't fit. Our little jangly, psychedelic,
717
00:32:17.029 --> 00:32:20.140
60s kind of name didn't fit what we were doing.
718
00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:23.480
And so, you know, George and everyone said we needed
719
00:32:23.500 --> 00:32:25.759
a new name. We liked the Crows. That's why we
720
00:32:25.779 --> 00:32:28.349
keep the E in it because of the book. Mr.
721
00:32:28.380 --> 00:32:31.119
Crow is like a proper noun. So on the way
722
00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:36.190
up to this gig, we say in the van, that's it. Today,
723
00:32:36.329 --> 00:32:38.690
we had like a couple of names. We're the Black
724
00:32:38.730 --> 00:32:42.690
Crows from here, no matter what happens. We are all
725
00:32:42.769 --> 00:32:45.750
in on this. Yes, we make that decision. We go
726
00:32:45.769 --> 00:32:48.420
to the gig. We set up our gear. We do soundcheck.
727
00:32:48.680 --> 00:32:51.440
There's a band that's opening for us. It's like a
728
00:32:51.519 --> 00:32:54.460
dad and a daughter and like a cousin. And it's
729
00:32:54.480 --> 00:32:57.319
like some family band. I don't know if they were Christians.
730
00:32:57.359 --> 00:32:58.900
I don't know what they were doing. And we're like,
731
00:32:58.920 --> 00:33:01.440
that's weird. So we go down the street to get
732
00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:04.789
something to eat. We come back. Those guys finish their set.
733
00:33:04.869 --> 00:33:07.950
We're dressed like the, I mean, we look like, you know,
734
00:33:08.049 --> 00:33:11.589
we're doing a gig. It's a real fucking gig. We're
735
00:33:11.609 --> 00:33:15.009
the fucking Black Crows. We made an album. We walk
736
00:33:15.109 --> 00:33:18.619
out on stage. We fucking open with Jealous again. The
737
00:33:18.779 --> 00:33:21.359
only people in the club are the dad, the daughter,
738
00:33:21.380 --> 00:33:22.119
and the cousin.
739
00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:23.970
Hold on.
740
00:33:24.039 --> 00:33:27.839
And they're sitting there and they're eating Subway sandwiches while
741
00:33:27.859 --> 00:33:38.349
we're playing. Four people. The opening band, and we're like,
742
00:33:38.789 --> 00:33:42.490
jealous again. Oh, wow.
743
00:33:45.609 --> 00:33:49.349
I'm like, yes!
744
00:33:49.710 --> 00:33:52.829
You know what I mean? Like, here we come. World beaters.
745
00:33:53.049 --> 00:33:56.450
Fantastic. You know, it's funny because the dynamic, your brother
746
00:33:56.529 --> 00:33:59.849
could not be less like you. It's so fantastic how
747
00:33:59.890 --> 00:34:02.470
different you guys are. And I've got to know him
748
00:34:02.519 --> 00:34:06.900
a little bit. And you've described yourself as a dyslexic
749
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:13.090
extrovert and rich... as an OCD introvert. And I thought
750
00:34:13.170 --> 00:34:13.929
when I read that description.
751
00:34:13.949 --> 00:34:16.090
I mean, I said that in a therapy session and.
752
00:34:16.030 --> 00:34:21.130
It got out. Yeah. I was the therapist. That's a
753
00:34:21.170 --> 00:34:21.769
bad idea.
754
00:34:22.869 --> 00:34:24.849
I just came in for the meds and now all
755
00:34:24.969 --> 00:34:26.070
of this.
756
00:34:26.760 --> 00:34:30.340
But it's fascinating that it works so well and then
757
00:34:30.360 --> 00:34:33.019
in other times you guys would have to say, that's it,
758
00:34:33.119 --> 00:34:36.559
can't do this anymore for a long period of time.
759
00:34:36.579 --> 00:34:42.510
Yeah, and for... Every band, every business, every partnership, everything
760
00:34:42.570 --> 00:34:45.130
has its ebb and flow and good and bad. I
761
00:34:45.230 --> 00:34:47.610
love the people that kept their shit private. We were
762
00:34:47.630 --> 00:34:50.630
just not going to be that way. To us, our
763
00:34:50.690 --> 00:34:54.739
connection with music and everything is an emotional connection. It's
764
00:34:54.780 --> 00:34:57.920
a feeling. We didn't learn music. Rich and I don't
765
00:34:57.960 --> 00:35:00.119
know any music, if you put it in front of us.
766
00:35:00.860 --> 00:35:03.000
I don't know what key I'm singing. You know what
767
00:35:03.019 --> 00:35:07.659
I mean? It is something that we've developed together. And
768
00:35:07.989 --> 00:35:09.590
I mean, yes, of course we know a little bit
769
00:35:09.630 --> 00:35:12.750
of music 35 years later, but it's really just by the,
770
00:35:13.010 --> 00:35:15.550
a visceral sort of connection to, to what it is
771
00:35:16.090 --> 00:35:19.210
in the same way. Um, that's how we write, you know,
772
00:35:19.289 --> 00:35:22.400
ritual play me the little, it could be the littlest thing.
773
00:35:22.420 --> 00:35:25.059
It could be, I don't know, a rhythmic thing, a
774
00:35:25.199 --> 00:35:27.300
seventh note. And I don't know, it could be whatever
775
00:35:27.320 --> 00:35:31.179
it is dictates. That's where I start. That's where I
776
00:35:31.199 --> 00:35:36.039
come in. This song is, whatever the theme is going
777
00:35:36.079 --> 00:35:38.619
to be comes from something that she talks to angels
778
00:35:38.679 --> 00:35:40.739
is a great example. We were still living at mom
779
00:35:40.780 --> 00:35:43.300
and dad's house and he just played that little thing
780
00:35:43.380 --> 00:35:47.260
and he just started mucking around with open E and,
781
00:35:47.519 --> 00:35:50.400
and that song is funny because I, it was very
782
00:35:50.579 --> 00:35:55.639
easy to, to write a scene or a story about the,
783
00:35:55.800 --> 00:35:58.440
I knew someone that looked a certain way who I
784
00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:03.769
at the time had heard was into, heroin right or
785
00:36:04.369 --> 00:36:06.929
you know hard drugs but i don't know they never
786
00:36:06.969 --> 00:36:08.829
had a child or lost a child you know what
787
00:36:08.849 --> 00:36:10.869
i mean like i just fill in the blanks of
788
00:36:10.909 --> 00:36:13.300
the story i want to tell but i'm not even
789
00:36:13.460 --> 00:36:16.480
beginning to tell that story without just whatever that little
790
00:36:16.519 --> 00:36:19.539
thing is rich plays me because i've written many songs
791
00:36:19.579 --> 00:36:22.829
by myself written songs with other people and it's different
792
00:36:22.969 --> 00:36:25.429
you know what i mean That's what he and I do.
793
00:36:25.550 --> 00:36:30.449
So between our OCD and dyslexia, we make one functioning songwriter,
794
00:36:30.590 --> 00:36:33.250
I think. We're one Billy Joel. So.
795
00:36:43.190 --> 00:36:46.360
A very Billy Joel who doesn't shower.
796
00:36:48.159 --> 00:36:50.380
I'm picturing when little kids, when one gets on the
797
00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:52.099
other's shoulder and they put on a big trench coat
798
00:36:52.579 --> 00:36:53.860
and try to go to the movie theater as an
799
00:36:53.900 --> 00:36:56.099
adult and the hand comes out of the crotch to
800
00:36:56.139 --> 00:36:56.619
pay for it.
801
00:36:56.619 --> 00:36:57.619
But instead they play piano.
802
00:37:00.739 --> 00:37:02.699
By the way, what's the Billy Joel song where he goes,
803
00:37:03.380 --> 00:37:06.440
what's the one where he breaks into like a vampire voice?
804
00:37:06.519 --> 00:37:07.639
You know what I'm talking about?
805
00:37:07.719 --> 00:37:09.199
I don't know that one.
806
00:37:09.510 --> 00:37:10.010
It's so funny.
807
00:37:10.030 --> 00:37:10.989
Long Island Vampire?
808
00:37:11.030 --> 00:37:12.130
No, it's one of his big hits.
809
00:37:12.150 --> 00:37:12.309
Yeah.
810
00:37:13.019 --> 00:37:14.260
Yeah, the Long Island Vampire.
811
00:37:14.280 --> 00:37:17.530
You're going to turn to big shot. That's right, big shot.
812
00:37:17.699 --> 00:37:19.989
And then you thought he was a big shot. Yes.
813
00:37:20.110 --> 00:37:22.610
Didn't you? That's so fucking crazy. I was like, what
814
00:37:22.690 --> 00:37:23.110
is he?
815
00:37:23.190 --> 00:37:25.610
That's so crazy. I started to scan my brain, and
816
00:37:25.650 --> 00:37:28.150
I just said, Billy Joel Vampire. And I went to him,
817
00:37:28.190 --> 00:37:30.650
and I go, you think that you're a big shot,
818
00:37:30.789 --> 00:37:33.630
didn't you? Like Count Chocula.
819
00:37:33.690 --> 00:37:34.809
Yeah, Count Chocula.
820
00:37:35.309 --> 00:37:40.519
Well, you're not coming to my castle. That's fucking hilarious.
821
00:37:40.539 --> 00:37:42.510
Someone talk to the bass player because I'm in the
822
00:37:42.570 --> 00:37:43.610
QV flat. What?
823
00:37:48.389 --> 00:37:51.449
After every concert, his band mysteriously disappears.
824
00:37:51.630 --> 00:37:53.880
Well, you get him on your, just to ask him
825
00:37:53.940 --> 00:37:55.239
what the fuck was that?
826
00:37:55.539 --> 00:37:57.340
I would ask him about the other song where he's like,
827
00:37:57.360 --> 00:38:00.320
you know, JFK blown away. The one where he's just
828
00:38:00.420 --> 00:38:03.019
listing things that happened in history. That's the one I
829
00:38:03.079 --> 00:38:06.539
remember that him being on, Billy Joel was on Saturday
830
00:38:06.579 --> 00:38:09.059
Night Live and he was performing that song. You know,
831
00:38:09.179 --> 00:38:11.639
we didn't start the fire. But then it's the whole
832
00:38:11.679 --> 00:38:12.579
list of like, you know.
833
00:38:12.599 --> 00:38:15.039
Very true in Doors Day, Red China, Johnny Ray, South Pacific,
834
00:38:15.059 --> 00:38:16.280
Walter Winfield, Joe DiMaggio.
835
00:38:16.300 --> 00:38:17.679
Okay, well, you're fired. You're fired.
836
00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:18.409
Of course.
837
00:38:18.469 --> 00:38:18.800
Get out.
838
00:38:19.139 --> 00:38:21.789
By the way, I have erectile dysfunction after that.
839
00:38:22.030 --> 00:38:23.150
Yeah. Really?
840
00:38:23.269 --> 00:38:24.329
I have a huge boner.
841
00:38:25.110 --> 00:38:28.510
But anyway, I remembered watching, being back near the Kraft
842
00:38:28.550 --> 00:38:31.530
food service table where the double doors are in Sign
843
00:38:31.550 --> 00:38:33.889
Out Live where the food is. And I'm standing there
844
00:38:34.090 --> 00:38:37.190
and he's singing that song, listing things. And Jim Downey's
845
00:38:37.230 --> 00:38:38.329
standing there and he turned to me and he went,
846
00:38:38.369 --> 00:38:42.969
he's just listing things. This is when it was like
847
00:38:42.989 --> 00:38:46.780
the number one song in the country. But Jim Downey knew.
848
00:38:46.929 --> 00:38:48.570
He's just listing things.
849
00:38:48.610 --> 00:38:54.679
Just reading the credits. It's like, oh, bring me my
850
00:38:54.699 --> 00:38:55.920
Encyclopedia Britannica.
851
00:38:55.940 --> 00:38:56.039
Yeah.
852
00:38:57.659 --> 00:38:58.380
Which ones do you want?
853
00:38:58.519 --> 00:39:01.030
All of them, all of them. Get them all. This
854
00:39:01.110 --> 00:39:02.389
is a long song.
855
00:39:02.409 --> 00:39:05.409
A to Z. Sorry, I didn't know why he does
856
00:39:05.429 --> 00:39:07.150
the breaks into the vampire sound.
857
00:39:07.389 --> 00:39:08.789
Well, you know.
858
00:39:09.030 --> 00:39:09.900
It was the 70s.
859
00:39:09.929 --> 00:39:13.469
He was feeling it. You think that you're a big shot.
860
00:39:16.789 --> 00:39:19.400
You know what's fascinating to me is that people get
861
00:39:19.440 --> 00:39:21.960
all jumbled up about time later on and it doesn't matter,
862
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:26.820
but you have to understand that in 1990... Nobody was
863
00:39:26.960 --> 00:39:30.289
dressing like you. There was a Seattle punk thing that
864
00:39:30.309 --> 00:39:32.829
was starting to happen and then there was also metal
865
00:39:32.909 --> 00:39:37.409
hair metal and then you guys and you're you've I
866
00:39:37.429 --> 00:39:40.889
think you've called it it's Mick Jagger circa like 1970
867
00:39:40.889 --> 00:39:41.570
well yeah.
868
00:39:42.110 --> 00:39:47.460
We we really loved like 72 stones like that was
869
00:39:47.500 --> 00:39:51.920
like the way Keith kind of looked the stooges but
870
00:39:51.980 --> 00:39:55.800
it's funny because i always remember you know it was
871
00:39:55.860 --> 00:40:00.460
hard to find clothes like that and everyone had looked
872
00:40:00.500 --> 00:40:03.079
like guns and roses and we went to england for
873
00:40:03.119 --> 00:40:04.800
the first time and they had a place called kensington
874
00:40:04.820 --> 00:40:09.550
market it was fabulous amazing place like crazy stalls and
875
00:40:10.010 --> 00:40:15.030
homemade wild clothes and all sorts of stuff punk things
876
00:40:15.090 --> 00:40:19.489
goth things and whatever it could be. And I bought my,
877
00:40:19.710 --> 00:40:23.130
I bought a pair of like a maroon kind of
878
00:40:23.190 --> 00:40:26.949
bell bottoms. And we came back to the States and
879
00:40:26.989 --> 00:40:29.730
we were on tour with Aerosmith. Funny enough, our first
880
00:40:29.750 --> 00:40:33.739
tour bus, but we played a gig in Rochester, New York.
881
00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:40.800
There's a baseball stadium there. And it was Black Crowes, Warrant, Metallica, Aerosmith.
882
00:40:41.139 --> 00:40:44.449
We're on first. And I remember, I remember this. And
883
00:40:44.769 --> 00:40:47.150
I come off, I come out of the thing and
884
00:40:47.210 --> 00:40:49.130
I'm like wearing my bell button, you know, the way
885
00:40:49.190 --> 00:40:51.510
we look. And people are like snickering at me. And
886
00:40:52.010 --> 00:40:55.860
I'm like, y'all motherfuckers laugh all you want. I look cool.
887
00:40:55.880 --> 00:40:57.760
You know, like I feel cool.
888
00:40:57.840 --> 00:40:58.159
Yeah.
889
00:40:58.840 --> 00:41:01.059
And we went up and did the gig and people,
890
00:41:01.179 --> 00:41:03.619
like a lot of Metallica fans are like, you know,
891
00:41:03.760 --> 00:41:05.940
carving pentagrams of bleeding in their hands.
892
00:41:06.019 --> 00:41:10.719
Fuck yeah. I hate you! Oh, I get that a lot.
893
00:41:10.760 --> 00:41:12.780
You know, they were like, we were the worst thing
894
00:41:12.820 --> 00:41:15.530
they've ever seen, but we were still kind of street,
895
00:41:15.699 --> 00:41:17.750
you know, we're from Atlanta, and I get up there,
896
00:41:17.769 --> 00:41:20.269
and I'm like, rubbing my butt and looking at them,
897
00:41:21.230 --> 00:41:24.630
like kissing them, and I'm like, bring it up here,
898
00:41:24.730 --> 00:41:28.639
big boy, you know what I'm saying? They're fucking throwing
899
00:41:28.699 --> 00:41:31.800
tennis shoes and golf balls and shit at us. I'm like,
900
00:41:31.840 --> 00:41:39.389
who's bringing golf balls? And so we did it. We
901
00:41:39.409 --> 00:41:43.599
brought a pocket full of fucking golf balls to this gig. Security!
902
00:41:44.559 --> 00:41:46.599
So we do the gig, though, and we, you know,
903
00:41:46.659 --> 00:41:49.920
some people like it, I imagine. We're still here, but
904
00:41:49.960 --> 00:41:53.039
we were like this, you know, fuck y'all. We're going
905
00:41:53.059 --> 00:41:55.699
to do our fucking thing, and you can't stop us.
906
00:41:55.719 --> 00:41:58.550
That's part of this weird rock and roll thing. So
907
00:41:58.570 --> 00:42:01.610
we go backstage. We're like, whatever. We played 30 minutes
908
00:42:01.670 --> 00:42:05.699
or whatever. Warrant is going on next. And they come
909
00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:08.719
out of the trailer in these little matching, like, outfits.
910
00:42:08.739 --> 00:42:11.860
They look like the Osmond family. You know what I mean?
911
00:42:11.880 --> 00:42:15.639
Crazy horses. I remember that. And they would, like, do
912
00:42:15.659 --> 00:42:18.010
their little dance. And they would have, like, little matching, like,
913
00:42:18.150 --> 00:42:21.050
one's got blue shirt, one's got a white shirt, blue pants,
914
00:42:21.110 --> 00:42:24.269
white legs. You know, little outfits. And these guys are wearing, like,
915
00:42:24.309 --> 00:42:26.530
these little, you know, at the time, I guess they
916
00:42:27.210 --> 00:42:28.949
had never saw the Osmond family.
917
00:42:29.150 --> 00:42:29.329
Right.
918
00:42:30.090 --> 00:42:32.800
So the stadium, I don't know, there's 50,000 people in there.
919
00:42:34.449 --> 00:42:36.409
And you just hear Warren sucks.
920
00:42:36.829 --> 00:42:38.469
Warren sucks.
921
00:42:38.610 --> 00:42:42.500
And that whole place is ringing this out. Like it's loud.
922
00:42:42.579 --> 00:42:45.679
And I, and they look at each other and they
923
00:42:45.840 --> 00:42:48.670
put on their, they went back in their trailer, put
924
00:42:48.769 --> 00:42:50.849
on their like sweatpants and got on the bus and
925
00:42:50.869 --> 00:42:51.329
they left.
926
00:42:51.730 --> 00:42:52.210
No.
927
00:42:52.369 --> 00:42:54.530
And I was like, I mean, I get it. That's,
928
00:42:55.110 --> 00:42:56.889
they didn't even know we were the black crows enough
929
00:42:56.929 --> 00:42:59.050
to say we sucked. We would have gone out anyway.
930
00:42:59.110 --> 00:43:00.110
We just would have, we were.
931
00:43:00.050 --> 00:43:01.630
That insert name here sucks.
932
00:43:01.650 --> 00:43:07.510
These people wanted Metallica. Yeah.
933
00:43:07.570 --> 00:43:07.789
Yeah.
934
00:43:07.889 --> 00:43:11.869
And, and, and Aerosmith, which is totally cool. Of course it's,
935
00:43:12.070 --> 00:43:15.110
but I was like, you, you know, I was like,
936
00:43:15.489 --> 00:43:18.070
who could, why did you should, if you really believe
937
00:43:18.139 --> 00:43:20.719
in what you're doing, you go, you weather the storm,
938
00:43:20.780 --> 00:43:22.599
get up there, give it to him. You don't know.
939
00:43:22.619 --> 00:43:25.630
You know what I mean? Like, You can't just fold.
940
00:43:25.690 --> 00:43:28.030
I mean, I'm not picking on them. I'm sure they're
941
00:43:28.349 --> 00:43:31.690
rad dudes. I don't hang out with them at the
942
00:43:31.750 --> 00:43:33.050
all-you-can-eat sushi place.
943
00:43:35.880 --> 00:43:42.900
But they're coming. They're here in 20 minutes. But I'm just... No,
944
00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:45.840
you have to say, this is what we're doing. You
945
00:43:45.880 --> 00:43:48.469
can't ask, is this okay, what we're doing? You have
946
00:43:48.510 --> 00:43:52.250
the essence of not just rock and roll, but comedy is...
947
00:43:53.010 --> 00:43:56.349
this is what we're doing. And if you, there's no
948
00:43:56.409 --> 00:43:59.250
going back and you just have to say, this is
949
00:43:59.309 --> 00:44:02.809
what it is. And you, if you're asking permission, it's
950
00:44:02.869 --> 00:44:03.449
not going to work.
951
00:44:03.829 --> 00:44:07.869
Ever. It would never, ever work. And I think, I
952
00:44:07.889 --> 00:44:09.929
don't know. I think there might be an argument that
953
00:44:10.030 --> 00:44:13.639
today music, they're asking for your permission more. I mean,
954
00:44:13.659 --> 00:44:16.699
cause there's definitely, you know, part of the appeal of
955
00:44:16.760 --> 00:44:19.659
rock and roll, but part of the reality of art
956
00:44:19.719 --> 00:44:24.690
and being an outside person in the world of, not, it's,
957
00:44:25.110 --> 00:44:28.400
it's not about conforming. It's just no, we're not doing that.
958
00:44:28.579 --> 00:44:30.199
You know what I mean? Like, it's just not going
959
00:44:30.260 --> 00:44:32.699
to fit. I can't, I mean, if you think this
960
00:44:32.800 --> 00:44:35.559
is mental illness, wait till you see, like trying to
961
00:44:36.039 --> 00:44:39.840
force something that, that doesn't work in that way. Um,
962
00:44:40.300 --> 00:44:44.409
and I think that, you know, that's, you know, part
963
00:44:44.449 --> 00:44:45.630
of what you want to say, part of the way
964
00:44:45.670 --> 00:44:47.829
we wanted to sound, the way we wanted to look
965
00:44:48.550 --> 00:44:53.269
was defiant towards other things that were going on. And
966
00:44:53.309 --> 00:44:56.449
I think, you know, in the corporate landscape of today
967
00:44:56.469 --> 00:45:00.780
and just the way the culture works outside of, you know,
968
00:45:00.860 --> 00:45:05.539
what is the, to me, it's status really rules everything,
969
00:45:05.880 --> 00:45:09.360
you know. But to obtain a certain amount of status,
970
00:45:09.460 --> 00:45:12.699
you have to comply. And, you know what I mean?
971
00:45:12.739 --> 00:45:18.460
So our whole philosophic, slant was defiance you know in
972
00:45:18.480 --> 00:45:21.199
the face you're defiant in the face of the business
973
00:45:21.239 --> 00:45:23.909
that says you're from Atlanta and you're not in LA
974
00:45:23.969 --> 00:45:27.530
and you're you know you're not wearing the right clothes
975
00:45:27.550 --> 00:45:29.329
you're not playing the game you're not you know I
976
00:45:29.349 --> 00:45:34.150
mean we had you know lots of managers listen to
977
00:45:34.210 --> 00:45:37.030
Shake Your Money Maker and said that singer he's horrible
978
00:45:37.510 --> 00:45:40.329
you know because this is at the age of you
979
00:45:40.349 --> 00:45:45.070
know everyone's very high voice and metal and rock things
980
00:45:45.110 --> 00:45:47.579
like that And I didn't sing that way. And they,
981
00:45:47.719 --> 00:45:50.239
it was like, he, we can't, we don't know what
982
00:45:50.300 --> 00:45:52.769
this is, which is kind of funny today that we
983
00:45:52.809 --> 00:45:56.269
have a record out now that it's different because of
984
00:45:56.329 --> 00:45:59.230
course we have three decades plus of people knowing what
985
00:45:59.269 --> 00:46:02.010
it is, but that it has the reaction that it
986
00:46:02.050 --> 00:46:03.429
has had. You know what I mean?
987
00:46:03.469 --> 00:46:06.130
I was, I've been blasting it in my car. I
988
00:46:06.210 --> 00:46:10.820
upgraded from a Ford Taurus to the new Ford Taurus
989
00:46:11.199 --> 00:46:13.619
just coming out. I have a Ford, make me a
990
00:46:13.699 --> 00:46:16.210
new Taurus. Just, That's the kind of clout I have.
991
00:46:16.889 --> 00:46:22.789
It's made of gold. Happiness bastards. And I've been blasting
992
00:46:22.829 --> 00:46:26.530
this and it's great. It's fantastic. And you guys, you
993
00:46:26.550 --> 00:46:29.170
guys haven't missed a beat. You really haven't. It doesn't,
994
00:46:29.309 --> 00:46:31.489
it doesn't, it doesn't feel like it at all. I
995
00:46:31.510 --> 00:46:34.820
think it's been 15 years since the last time you
996
00:46:34.840 --> 00:46:35.880
guys worked together. Yeah.
997
00:46:36.380 --> 00:46:38.940
Since we made a, we're in the studio doing stuff, new,
998
00:46:39.099 --> 00:46:43.420
you know, original song, original things that we've, Did you
999
00:46:43.440 --> 00:46:44.219
do this with George?
1000
00:46:44.460 --> 00:46:45.219
George?
1001
00:46:45.679 --> 00:46:48.500
No, no. We did it with this guy, Jay Joyce
1002
00:46:48.519 --> 00:46:52.840
in Nashville. Jay Joyce, okay. He's under Uber producer.
1003
00:46:54.590 --> 00:46:55.949
Oh, he has a little submarine, does he?
1004
00:46:56.329 --> 00:46:57.769
Yeah, yeah.
1005
00:46:57.809 --> 00:46:58.730
Dive, dive!
1006
00:46:58.789 --> 00:46:59.909
He has two submarines.
1007
00:47:00.170 --> 00:47:03.670
Oh, wow. Okay, nice. I mean, because also, I mean,
1008
00:47:03.690 --> 00:47:06.730
the guitar sound is fantastic. I know.
1009
00:47:06.849 --> 00:47:10.550
I mean, we really, you know, when we've, We went
1010
00:47:10.570 --> 00:47:14.690
through the things that we've gone through and people always say, well,
1011
00:47:15.030 --> 00:47:18.289
how did you do, you know, what, you know, the cynic,
1012
00:47:18.570 --> 00:47:20.769
the cynicism in the world is, oh, you're going to
1013
00:47:20.809 --> 00:47:22.329
do this. It's a money grab.
1014
00:47:22.570 --> 00:47:22.730
Right.
1015
00:47:23.369 --> 00:47:25.769
And it's funny because Rich is like people who don't
1016
00:47:25.809 --> 00:47:28.170
know about the music businesses. We're, you know, no matter
1017
00:47:28.289 --> 00:47:30.469
where we are, we're still the black crows and we're
1018
00:47:30.510 --> 00:47:33.940
worth tickets. You know, people, we have an audience, we
1019
00:47:33.960 --> 00:47:37.139
have a history, we've made good records. We have songs
1020
00:47:37.199 --> 00:47:38.219
people have in their life.
1021
00:47:38.480 --> 00:47:38.599
Right.
1022
00:47:38.780 --> 00:47:41.409
And we put on a good show. So every year
1023
00:47:41.449 --> 00:47:43.550
we didn't do the Black Crowes. Someone calls up and goes,
1024
00:47:43.610 --> 00:47:45.889
you know, I'll tell you what, if you guys get
1025
00:47:45.929 --> 00:47:49.159
it together, we'll put you out there. Here's what money's
1026
00:47:49.199 --> 00:47:51.019
going to be. I just think of a guy.
1027
00:47:51.099 --> 00:47:53.440
You guys know Jed Clampett? Ralph Stanley's back?
1028
00:47:53.480 --> 00:47:57.739
Yeah. It's just a guy in cowboy boots and a
1029
00:47:57.760 --> 00:47:58.280
gold chain.
1030
00:47:58.300 --> 00:48:00.539
You gotta get out in there. There's a lot of money.
1031
00:48:00.679 --> 00:48:02.840
Okay. Would this be better? Like, Hey, listen, you guys.
1032
00:48:02.739 --> 00:48:06.820
Want to get out there? I like that guy.
1033
00:48:06.920 --> 00:48:10.980
I'll worry about the agent. You worry about the union representative.
1034
00:48:11.300 --> 00:48:15.010
I don't even know what you're talking about. You just
1035
00:48:15.070 --> 00:48:16.739
want to play the show, but you know, there was
1036
00:48:16.800 --> 00:48:18.119
always an offer.
1037
00:48:17.760 --> 00:48:19.730
For us to do it. But I think, you know,
1038
00:48:19.809 --> 00:48:22.789
the time we, we, you know, I just had had
1039
00:48:22.869 --> 00:48:25.659
enough of the black crows. I'd had enough. And, and, and,
1040
00:48:26.139 --> 00:48:28.389
knowing full well that I'm a part of the problem.
1041
00:48:28.429 --> 00:48:30.949
I'm not the solution. You know what I mean? I
1042
00:48:31.110 --> 00:48:33.130
am a part of the problem. We all were at
1043
00:48:33.170 --> 00:48:36.170
the time. But I did have, you know, for whatever reason,
1044
00:48:36.250 --> 00:48:39.429
I blew the scene up. But it was great for
1045
00:48:39.469 --> 00:48:41.630
Rich and I. You know what I mean? Because what
1046
00:48:41.650 --> 00:48:43.590
does every band say in a documentary? I was watching
1047
00:48:43.610 --> 00:48:46.179
like the... you know, my bloody Valentine or something, some
1048
00:48:46.219 --> 00:48:47.900
shoegaze documentary. And they were like, if we had just
1049
00:48:47.940 --> 00:48:50.500
taken six months off, it wouldn't have blown up. And
1050
00:48:50.519 --> 00:48:52.809
you don't do it. You know, you just don't do it.
1051
00:48:53.119 --> 00:48:56.880
I don't know what that is. Youth, ambition, you know,
1052
00:48:56.920 --> 00:48:59.280
that thing Izzy Stravlin said, when it takes off, just
1053
00:48:59.320 --> 00:49:01.840
hang on. We just didn't want the ride to stop, maybe,
1054
00:49:01.880 --> 00:49:03.039
that first decade.
1055
00:49:03.059 --> 00:49:06.389
It's interesting, because I heard your kids helped you and
1056
00:49:06.820 --> 00:49:09.570
your brother patch things up somewhat. Is that true?
1057
00:49:09.889 --> 00:49:13.880
Yeah, well, you know, they... After, you know, they get
1058
00:49:14.059 --> 00:49:23.059
older and they're like, I have cousins. Yeah, you do.
1059
00:49:23.139 --> 00:49:24.780
I don't know their names, but you do. How come
1060
00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:27.739
we don't know them? I don't know them either. That
1061
00:49:27.860 --> 00:49:32.550
becomes something else. But family. I mean, my wife, Camille,
1062
00:49:32.590 --> 00:49:38.610
as well, eventually was like, what is it? Let's talk
1063
00:49:38.670 --> 00:49:41.969
about it. What's with the anger? What's with the resentment?
1064
00:49:42.250 --> 00:49:46.969
And it just turned out to be a perfect time.
1065
00:49:47.530 --> 00:49:50.969
And again, we're not that clever. It's just, it felt right.
1066
00:49:51.650 --> 00:49:55.389
And we could deal with each other. And subsequently, it's
1067
00:49:55.429 --> 00:50:01.860
been fantastic. And that us versus them sort of mentality
1068
00:50:01.920 --> 00:50:04.659
is real. And I think it's important in terms of like,
1069
00:50:05.679 --> 00:50:08.380
it's just authentic to our, to who we are. We
1070
00:50:08.420 --> 00:50:10.780
felt that way about art. We felt that way about
1071
00:50:10.840 --> 00:50:13.139
rock and roll. We feel that way about a lot
1072
00:50:13.179 --> 00:50:16.860
of things, um, because we're passionate and we believe that
1073
00:50:16.889 --> 00:50:20.869
there's something else. That's not just status. That's not just success.
1074
00:50:20.929 --> 00:50:25.090
The way it looks like there's something magic in making music.
1075
00:50:25.550 --> 00:50:28.650
There's something magic about listening to it, about being inspired
1076
00:50:28.690 --> 00:50:34.210
by it, about going to see live music, uh, You
1077
00:50:34.230 --> 00:50:37.070
know what I mean? Our house is just full of records.
1078
00:50:37.449 --> 00:50:40.210
And when I'm not making music, I'm driving everyone crazy
1079
00:50:40.230 --> 00:50:45.219
because we just listen to music. And it's probably because
1080
00:50:45.260 --> 00:50:49.280
of the way my mind works. Music starts to make
1081
00:50:49.440 --> 00:50:55.219
the unreal real. It gives it a certain construct, your
1082
00:50:55.260 --> 00:50:56.920
daily life. You know what I mean?
1083
00:50:56.940 --> 00:50:59.300
I don't know what it is. I mean, everyone's experienced this,
1084
00:50:59.340 --> 00:51:03.989
but I try to... stay in shape as much as
1085
00:51:04.050 --> 00:51:05.769
I can, especially.
1086
00:51:05.170 --> 00:51:05.820
As I get older.
1087
00:51:05.909 --> 00:51:08.239
And I will, I really don't want to go for
1088
00:51:08.260 --> 00:51:10.579
a run. I really don't want to get on my bike.
1089
00:51:10.659 --> 00:51:12.920
I just don't want to do it. But if I
1090
00:51:12.960 --> 00:51:17.579
put the earbuds in and a good example is listen
1091
00:51:17.599 --> 00:51:22.670
to black crows and cranked into my ears, I can
1092
00:51:22.730 --> 00:51:26.030
suddenly do things that I couldn't do before. And I don't,
1093
00:51:26.429 --> 00:51:30.050
I don't know what that is, but I'm suddenly like,
1094
00:51:30.889 --> 00:51:33.440
And everyone's experience is this isn't a new thing, but I,
1095
00:51:34.250 --> 00:51:36.360
and then I start to have ideas and I start
1096
00:51:36.389 --> 00:51:38.300
to feel like I've got this, I come up with
1097
00:51:38.320 --> 00:51:40.760
all these ideas for fun, cool things I'd like to
1098
00:51:40.820 --> 00:51:44.400
try and do. And as soon as my heart rate
1099
00:51:44.420 --> 00:51:48.289
starts to slow down afterwards, I go, I'm not doing it.
1100
00:51:48.380 --> 00:51:49.500
I'm not doing any of that.
1101
00:51:49.539 --> 00:51:51.119
I'm a man with no dreams.
1102
00:51:52.179 --> 00:51:55.949
The dream's over because I stopped listening to the black crows, but.
1103
00:51:56.380 --> 00:51:59.920
I do have that, there is a magic there. And
1104
00:52:00.079 --> 00:52:03.059
I think, you were talking earlier about status and show business.
1105
00:52:03.179 --> 00:52:06.239
I do think one thing that has changed is there
1106
00:52:06.340 --> 00:52:11.000
is an obsession, not just in music, but in, there's
1107
00:52:11.039 --> 00:52:15.420
an obsession across the board, comedy, music, film, with the
1108
00:52:15.440 --> 00:52:18.199
business side of it as a status thing. And I
1109
00:52:18.219 --> 00:52:21.199
don't think artists used to talk about that, but now
1110
00:52:21.420 --> 00:52:25.840
it's kind of seen as a cool thing if- you're
1111
00:52:26.079 --> 00:52:28.820
seen as like a corporate brand. And I don't think
1112
00:52:28.840 --> 00:52:30.179
that used to be the case.
1113
00:52:30.260 --> 00:52:31.739
I mean, as a matter of fact, a lot of
1114
00:52:31.860 --> 00:52:33.980
our hero, you know what I mean? And I think
1115
00:52:34.019 --> 00:52:37.409
the hero is not just like Joseph Campbell talking whenever,
1116
00:52:37.789 --> 00:52:40.110
but the, the hero as a part of like who
1117
00:52:40.150 --> 00:52:42.650
we are and who we identify with is very important.
1118
00:52:43.110 --> 00:52:47.190
And again, I understand I'm 57 years old. I'm not
1119
00:52:47.250 --> 00:52:50.539
a person of the, of this century. I'm a mid
1120
00:52:50.599 --> 00:52:54.179
century product of the last century, but it's like, You know,
1121
00:52:54.239 --> 00:53:00.789
whether it was Gregory Corso, William Burroughs, Keith Richards, Alex Chilton,
1122
00:53:01.230 --> 00:53:04.280
Robert Altman. I had heroes. Not like, that guy's great
1123
00:53:04.320 --> 00:53:07.460
at video games. You know what I mean? I'm like, whoa. Oh,
1124
00:53:07.500 --> 00:53:08.139
my God.
1125
00:53:08.260 --> 00:53:08.449
Right.
1126
00:53:08.820 --> 00:53:10.780
You know, his mom lets him wear a diaper so
1127
00:53:10.800 --> 00:53:12.559
he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. You know
1128
00:53:12.599 --> 00:53:16.280
what I mean? Like, oh, he's a very committed champion.
1129
00:53:18.250 --> 00:53:21.670
But I do, I do, I do, do you see
1130
00:53:21.690 --> 00:53:23.409
what I'm sort of getting at? Which is a lot
1131
00:53:23.449 --> 00:53:23.909
of times when I.
1132
00:53:23.869 --> 00:53:25.289
Read- That's what I mean, but our heroes would be
1133
00:53:25.329 --> 00:53:27.750
the people in comedy. It could be that too. But
1134
00:53:27.769 --> 00:53:29.130
also- People who went.
1135
00:53:28.989 --> 00:53:32.030
Against- It was never part of the story. Sometimes it was,
1136
00:53:32.070 --> 00:53:33.710
but it was not really part of the story how
1137
00:53:33.769 --> 00:53:37.050
much they made or- how many ads they did and
1138
00:53:37.130 --> 00:53:40.849
now it has become the narrative for everyone. And I
1139
00:53:41.469 --> 00:53:45.449
think that's so much to navigate. Just focus on what's
1140
00:53:45.489 --> 00:53:48.780
the thing you're making, like try and try and make something.
1141
00:53:48.800 --> 00:53:51.699
I mean, when our first record was such a big.
1142
00:53:51.539 --> 00:53:53.619
Thing, I'm, I'm, I mean, are you kidding? It's not
1143
00:53:53.659 --> 00:53:57.239
going through my head. Like, you know, John Coltrane never
1144
00:53:57.280 --> 00:53:59.519
sold 6 million records, you know what I mean? Or whatever,
1145
00:53:59.900 --> 00:54:02.360
or like that first thing of like, wait a minute,
1146
00:54:03.030 --> 00:54:06.050
It did the opposite of me, of course. Dyslexic, we
1147
00:54:06.070 --> 00:54:10.210
do the opposite. It didn't, yes, my ego or whatever
1148
00:54:10.409 --> 00:54:15.769
as a singer, Sagittarian, young person, but it humbled me
1149
00:54:15.829 --> 00:54:19.210
in the face or in the presence of the tradition
1150
00:54:19.230 --> 00:54:21.510
that I'm working in. And you know what I mean?
1151
00:54:21.650 --> 00:54:23.880
I think also being the kind of band we were
1152
00:54:24.449 --> 00:54:28.300
because of our influences, like, you know, I'm meeting my heroes.
1153
00:54:28.380 --> 00:54:30.679
I'm not, you know, I'm not hanging out so much
1154
00:54:30.739 --> 00:54:33.989
with my peers, which is, I do that more now.
1155
00:54:34.829 --> 00:54:37.489
But at that time, it was like, oh, Joe Cocker
1156
00:54:37.530 --> 00:54:39.349
knows my name and wants to give me a hug.
1157
00:54:39.369 --> 00:54:42.789
Or Ian Hunter from The Hoople, the first rock star
1158
00:54:42.809 --> 00:54:44.369
who came to one of our shows in New York.
1159
00:54:44.929 --> 00:54:47.510
The great Ronnie Lane was in his wheelchair when his
1160
00:54:48.139 --> 00:54:50.440
partner brought him down. He wanted to meet us in
1161
00:54:51.159 --> 00:54:54.219
not even a dressing room, in the ice. We were
1162
00:54:54.360 --> 00:54:56.860
opening for this band in our first time in Austin
1163
00:54:56.920 --> 00:54:59.860
in March of 1990. And there's a knock on the
1164
00:54:59.880 --> 00:55:01.159
door and the guy goes, there's some guy in a
1165
00:55:01.179 --> 00:55:03.360
wheelchair named Ronnie Lane who wants to meet you guys.
1166
00:55:04.099 --> 00:55:07.440
I'm like, all right, really? And, you know, the waiters
1167
00:55:07.480 --> 00:55:09.460
are filling up the ice buckets while he's in there
1168
00:55:09.480 --> 00:55:12.179
and we're putting our clothes on after the show. And
1169
00:55:12.199 --> 00:55:14.059
he was just like, oh, I just want to meet
1170
00:55:14.079 --> 00:55:16.079
you guys. You know, you've said so many nice things
1171
00:55:16.139 --> 00:55:18.760
about my music. And we were I was just I
1172
00:55:18.780 --> 00:55:19.800
will remember it forever.
1173
00:55:19.820 --> 00:55:20.079
Yeah.
1174
00:55:20.440 --> 00:55:23.090
You know what I mean? Like and. Rob Tyner from
1175
00:55:23.110 --> 00:55:27.639
the MC5. First time we play in Livonia outside of Detroit.
1176
00:55:27.679 --> 00:55:29.139
There he is in the dressing room.
1177
00:55:29.539 --> 00:55:32.320
I've always said the people that blow my mind, and
1178
00:55:32.340 --> 00:55:34.360
it happens less and less and less as I get older,
1179
00:55:34.440 --> 00:55:38.429
but meeting the people that I saw on television be
1180
00:55:38.489 --> 00:55:43.730
funny when I was eight years old. It's like seeing
1181
00:55:43.769 --> 00:55:45.690
a Greek god in real life.
1182
00:55:45.789 --> 00:55:47.690
I had a weekend with Don Rickles one time, and
1183
00:55:47.710 --> 00:55:50.599
that was like heaven. You know what I mean?
1184
00:55:50.719 --> 00:55:51.019
Oh, yeah.
1185
00:55:51.699 --> 00:55:54.260
Say something bad about me now.
1186
00:55:54.639 --> 00:55:57.260
I can take it. I can take it. I was
1187
00:55:57.300 --> 00:55:59.409
that way the day I met Don Knotts. And I
1188
00:55:59.590 --> 00:56:04.190
just couldn't believe I'm meeting Barney Fife. By the way,
1189
00:56:04.230 --> 00:56:06.670
one of the funniest people of that character are the
1190
00:56:06.769 --> 00:56:09.670
funniest people of all time. To this day, I can't
1191
00:56:09.949 --> 00:56:14.469
accept that. No, I saw him in Brookline, Massachusetts, sitting
1192
00:56:14.510 --> 00:56:17.050
on the floor. And I'm sitting in a high chair
1193
00:56:17.110 --> 00:56:19.570
watching him on, you know, I was in a high
1194
00:56:19.610 --> 00:56:25.889
chair very late. Uh, this is like 10 years ago.
1195
00:56:26.389 --> 00:56:29.699
I had rickets. Um, you don't hear rickets much anymore.
1196
00:56:29.719 --> 00:56:30.639
Don rickets.
1197
00:56:30.760 --> 00:56:31.460
Not as fun.
1198
00:56:31.519 --> 00:56:34.860
It's not as funny. Um, listen, I've kept you a
1199
00:56:34.880 --> 00:56:38.860
while and I did it selfishly because, um, I love
1200
00:56:38.880 --> 00:56:43.119
your music. And I also, uh, think you are one
1201
00:56:43.159 --> 00:56:47.400
of the, just, you're such an authentically funny, person and
1202
00:56:47.659 --> 00:56:50.539
really honest. And I love talking to you. I really do.
1203
00:56:50.559 --> 00:56:51.460
Thanks for having me.
1204
00:56:51.599 --> 00:56:55.500
I would, anytime you want to lower yourself, we'll hang and, uh,
1205
00:56:55.519 --> 00:56:59.210
finish that, finish that tequila, you know? Um, but thank
1206
00:56:59.230 --> 00:57:02.409
you so much for being here. And, uh, I want
1207
00:57:02.429 --> 00:57:06.070
to tell people, check out happiness bastards. Cause I've been
1208
00:57:06.110 --> 00:57:06.610
loving this.
1209
00:57:06.969 --> 00:57:07.219
Thank you.
1210
00:57:07.250 --> 00:57:07.789
It's fantastic.
1211
00:57:07.809 --> 00:57:10.659
We're very, uh, it's good. It's nice. It's, you know,
1212
00:57:10.699 --> 00:57:14.730
we're going on this tour and, uh, Yeah, we're just thrilled.
1213
00:57:14.750 --> 00:57:15.630
We're having a great.
1214
00:57:15.650 --> 00:57:17.449
Are you going to give the group sex a try
1215
00:57:17.489 --> 00:57:17.909
this time?
1216
00:57:17.929 --> 00:57:20.090
Oh my God, I might throw my knee out.
1217
00:57:23.469 --> 00:57:26.070
That's the first thing to go with me. When I
1218
00:57:26.110 --> 00:57:28.989
have group sex, it's the first thing that goes. The
1219
00:57:29.090 --> 00:57:29.949
old trick knee.
1220
00:57:30.159 --> 00:57:34.059
I'm like, listen, I don't know about reverse cowgirl, but
1221
00:57:34.099 --> 00:57:35.599
how about reverse cuckold?
1222
00:57:35.679 --> 00:57:36.179
And curtain.
1223
00:57:51.340 --> 00:57:55.110
Good nights are about the people. The laughs. The real
1224
00:57:55.170 --> 00:57:58.349
moments you don't want to miss. So why step outside?
1225
00:57:59.250 --> 00:58:02.550
Velo tobacco-free nicotine pouches fit seamlessly into your night.
1226
00:58:02.789 --> 00:58:06.139
Convenient and full of flavour. No breaks. No interruptions.
1227
00:58:06.679 --> 00:58:06.980
Velo.
1228
00:58:07.260 --> 00:58:10.320
Anytime, anywhere nicotine pouches. 18 and over.
1229
00:58:10.360 --> 00:58:13.300
Contains tobacco-free nicotine and addictive substance. If you're new to Velo,
1230
00:58:13.320 --> 00:58:15.139
start with Mellow. You should not use this product if
1231
00:58:15.159 --> 00:58:16.449
you do not already use nicotine.
1232
00:58:18.150 --> 00:58:18.889
The KCR.
1233
00:58:19.309 --> 00:58:21.170
If ever there was a place in dire need of
1234
00:58:21.210 --> 00:58:25.000
an avocado scanner, it's here. So we've put one in
1235
00:58:25.019 --> 00:58:27.699
the new spa. No longer will locals have to merely
1236
00:58:27.880 --> 00:58:31.760
guess the ripeness of their avocados. Not into avos? Well,
1237
00:58:31.860 --> 00:58:35.670
there's bravado coffee, a deli and a Subway too. Under
1238
00:58:35.690 --> 00:58:37.829
the tree at the new spa KCR.
1239
00:58:38.989 --> 00:58:43.309
Hi, I'm Ardlow Hanlon, host of Clayton Hotel's new Bedcast series,
1240
00:58:43.570 --> 00:58:46.570
Up Close and Personally. I'm hopping back into bed again
1241
00:58:46.630 --> 00:58:50.090
to ask one too many questions. Ever wondered, would Nicky
1242
00:58:50.110 --> 00:58:54.309
Byrne rename Westlife? Where Vogue Williams gets her unshakable confidence?
1243
00:58:54.730 --> 00:58:58.530
Or how Mylene Klass rose to fame? Yes, well, me too. So,
1244
00:58:58.730 --> 00:59:01.070
they've jumped into bed across from me to share their stories,
1245
00:59:01.349 --> 00:59:03.949
all from the comfort of my Clayton Hotel room. You
1246
00:59:03.989 --> 00:59:06.510
can find the Up Close and Personal bedcast series on
1247
00:59:06.550 --> 00:59:07.929
Clayton Hotel's social channels.
1248
00:59:14.230 --> 00:59:16.139
Conan here. Got a little segment to do, and I
1249
00:59:16.199 --> 00:59:19.360
don't know anything about this segment because Matt Gourley has
1250
00:59:19.420 --> 00:59:21.639
some scheme up his sleeve.
1251
00:59:21.679 --> 00:59:21.989
What's up?
1252
00:59:22.199 --> 00:59:24.019
A long time ago, I don't know if you remember this,
1253
00:59:24.059 --> 00:59:27.530
we actually did, I think you did a riff about uh,
1254
00:59:27.699 --> 00:59:30.800
inspirational posters that you might see in like a grade
1255
00:59:30.820 --> 00:59:35.199
school class or something, but with some unexpected phrases on them. Well,
1256
00:59:35.260 --> 00:59:38.619
a wonderful, wonderful listener named Timothy Sanders, who has some
1257
00:59:38.659 --> 00:59:40.570
of the nicest penmanship I've ever seen.
1258
00:59:40.590 --> 00:59:43.190
Beautiful. It looks like a Cyrillic typewriter.
1259
00:59:43.210 --> 00:59:47.210
He has taken it upon himself to make some of these,
1260
00:59:48.389 --> 00:59:52.530
starting with these lovely turtles. You're the one that you
1261
00:59:52.590 --> 00:59:53.539
knew you had to be.
1262
00:59:53.699 --> 00:59:55.469
Oh, Are these ones that we said on the air?
1263
00:59:55.480 --> 00:59:55.599
Yeah.
1264
00:59:55.619 --> 00:59:56.760
That I was making up bullshit?
1265
00:59:56.940 --> 00:59:57.340
Yeah.
1266
00:59:57.360 --> 00:59:58.880
Those are great.
1267
00:59:59.219 --> 01:00:00.500
Watch yourself get married.
1268
01:00:01.199 --> 01:00:04.019
With a glass of water. That's fantastic.
1269
01:00:04.440 --> 01:00:07.119
Whatever you think you were, that is what it was.
1270
01:00:07.139 --> 01:00:10.800
So stupid. That's a Volkswagen thing, I believe.
1271
01:00:11.170 --> 01:00:11.550
Oh my God.
1272
01:00:11.590 --> 01:00:12.869
Popular car in the 70s.
1273
01:00:13.269 --> 01:00:17.110
A story of spontaneous podcast banter. Tomorrow is yesterday's idea
1274
01:00:17.210 --> 01:00:18.289
of what you ate.
1275
01:00:19.130 --> 01:00:21.650
A Team Coco paperback.
1276
01:00:21.829 --> 01:00:22.690
Uh-huh.
1277
01:00:23.280 --> 01:00:24.940
You can't judge yourself from within.
1278
01:00:24.960 --> 01:00:26.460
Well, that's actually a good one.
1279
01:00:26.659 --> 01:00:26.960
Yeah.
1280
01:00:27.219 --> 01:00:29.469
And I love that cat just hanging in there. Is
1281
01:00:29.530 --> 01:00:29.909
it good?
1282
01:00:29.989 --> 01:00:30.889
Does it make sense?
1283
01:00:30.989 --> 01:00:31.989
Sure it does. Okay.
1284
01:00:32.329 --> 01:00:33.590
I don't know if it does.
1285
01:00:34.070 --> 01:00:37.010
Sunshine is the regret you used to know during daylight.
1286
01:00:37.789 --> 01:00:40.150
Are these ones we said? I'm not sure they were.
1287
01:00:40.170 --> 01:00:42.250
Some of them are. Or are these AI? Maybe it's AI.
1288
01:00:42.269 --> 01:00:43.130
I think some of them are.
1289
01:00:43.289 --> 01:00:43.489
Yeah.
1290
01:00:44.269 --> 01:00:48.650
I remember this. Who farted? William Thackeray.
1291
01:00:48.769 --> 01:00:48.989
Yes.
1292
01:00:53.139 --> 01:00:55.219
Back that shit up, of course, Jane Austen. That's my
1293
01:00:55.280 --> 01:00:57.760
favorite one. I remember that one. Now it's coming back
1294
01:00:57.800 --> 01:00:58.059
to me.
1295
01:00:58.280 --> 01:00:59.940
And for the listeners, if you want to see these,
1296
01:00:59.980 --> 01:01:01.719
you can go to our YouTube channel and check them
1297
01:01:01.760 --> 01:01:05.119
out or go to at Team Coco on socials and
1298
01:01:05.159 --> 01:01:05.599
take a look.
1299
01:01:05.719 --> 01:01:06.320
Yeah, these are fun.
1300
01:01:06.360 --> 01:01:09.039
Oh, my God. Drop it like it's hot, ho. Of course,
1301
01:01:09.099 --> 01:01:12.199
Melville during his drop it like it's hot phase.
1302
01:01:12.340 --> 01:01:13.079
And finally.
1303
01:01:13.599 --> 01:01:15.679
I'd hit that. Mary Todd Lincoln.
1304
01:01:16.019 --> 01:01:17.420
And a picture of sexy Lincoln.
1305
01:01:17.500 --> 01:01:18.320
Those are great.
1306
01:01:18.380 --> 01:01:18.539
Yeah.
1307
01:01:18.559 --> 01:01:19.280
Aren't those amazing?
1308
01:01:19.630 --> 01:01:22.610
He is sexy in that picture. Yeah, I'd hit that
1309
01:01:22.679 --> 01:01:23.110
for sure.
1310
01:01:23.360 --> 01:01:23.840
Look at that.
1311
01:01:23.969 --> 01:01:24.800
You'd hit that?
1312
01:01:24.840 --> 01:01:26.500
No, I don't think you would. He's very depressed.
1313
01:01:26.860 --> 01:01:30.619
I mean, look at his face. He's got great bone structure.
1314
01:01:30.639 --> 01:01:32.659
Nice high cheekbones.
1315
01:01:32.860 --> 01:01:34.480
6'4, just like your friend Conan.
1316
01:01:34.500 --> 01:01:35.239
Don't compare yourselves.
1317
01:01:35.260 --> 01:01:38.219
Was there some question about his sexuality at some point, too?
1318
01:01:38.280 --> 01:01:39.960
Yes, someone wrote a book, and I think a lot
1319
01:01:39.980 --> 01:01:41.519
of it was based on the fact that Lincoln shared
1320
01:01:41.579 --> 01:01:44.260
a bed when he was on the circuit, but then
1321
01:01:44.280 --> 01:01:45.710
it was revealed that everyone had.
1322
01:01:45.650 --> 01:01:47.210
To share beds back then, so.
1323
01:01:47.590 --> 01:01:49.050
Just because you shared a bed. I mean, I regularly
1324
01:01:49.090 --> 01:01:50.949
share a bed with a good friend of mine.
1325
01:01:51.010 --> 01:01:52.110
Who's that? Eric Reif.
1326
01:01:52.690 --> 01:01:56.929
Well, anyway, that's our business. It's good friends. And when
1327
01:01:56.949 --> 01:01:59.239
we're on the circuit together riding, sometimes you come to
1328
01:01:59.280 --> 01:02:00.159
an inn and you have to share.
1329
01:02:00.179 --> 01:02:02.260
What circuit? What is this? The vaudeville circuit?
1330
01:02:02.599 --> 01:02:05.239
I'm just making shit up. This is babble.
1331
01:02:05.280 --> 01:02:06.900
Did you guys sleep in bunk beds when you were
1332
01:02:06.920 --> 01:02:07.420
in college?
1333
01:02:07.480 --> 01:02:08.300
We did freshman year.
1334
01:02:08.420 --> 01:02:09.079
Who was on top?
1335
01:02:09.420 --> 01:02:11.199
I was on top. That's fun. I was on the bottom.
1336
01:02:11.539 --> 01:02:12.579
I like that top bunk too.
1337
01:02:12.800 --> 01:02:14.550
No, I love the top bunk. It's like, wee, I'm
1338
01:02:14.590 --> 01:02:17.800
way up high. This is as a freshman in college.
1339
01:02:17.840 --> 01:02:20.039
I was like, yay, I'm up high, wee.
1340
01:02:20.059 --> 01:02:22.440
Yeah, I can't believe you guys didn't have bunk beds
1341
01:02:22.480 --> 01:02:23.860
growing up in your house.
1342
01:02:24.320 --> 01:02:27.369
My brothers and I slept three in a room for
1343
01:02:27.409 --> 01:02:27.789
a while.
1344
01:02:27.809 --> 01:02:28.570
Yeah, that's why I'm surprised.
1345
01:02:28.590 --> 01:02:30.809
Before Justin was born. So it was Neil and Luke
1346
01:02:30.849 --> 01:02:32.849
were in twin beds and I was in a cot
1347
01:02:32.949 --> 01:02:34.730
at the foot of their bed for a bunch of years.
1348
01:02:35.409 --> 01:02:37.750
And my cot was up against the wall. And my
1349
01:02:37.809 --> 01:02:39.309
mother used to put us, this is, you know, way
1350
01:02:39.369 --> 01:02:40.949
back in the day, she'd put us in these little
1351
01:02:40.989 --> 01:02:44.630
brown shoes with hard, you know, heels. Kids today all
1352
01:02:44.650 --> 01:02:48.869
wear sneakers, but back then, mid-1960s or whatever, they give
1353
01:02:48.889 --> 01:02:51.050
you these little brown shoes that you wore. My mother
1354
01:02:51.090 --> 01:02:53.199
would make me take a nap every day at three
1355
01:02:53.219 --> 01:02:55.199
in the afternoon and I didn't want to take a nap.
1356
01:02:55.519 --> 01:02:57.699
So I put my back on the bed and with
1357
01:02:57.760 --> 01:03:01.019
my shoes on, I would kick at the wall with
1358
01:03:01.079 --> 01:03:03.699
my heels. Why were you napping with shoes on? Because
1359
01:03:03.739 --> 01:03:04.940
I wouldn't take them off because I'm not going to
1360
01:03:05.019 --> 01:03:07.969
kick the wall with my bare feet. And my mom
1361
01:03:07.989 --> 01:03:10.539
would just let me kick it out and I swear
1362
01:03:10.579 --> 01:03:13.500
to God, the wall has since been replastered and repainted.
1363
01:03:13.860 --> 01:03:15.510
But part of me wants to go back to that
1364
01:03:15.570 --> 01:03:18.949
house in Brookline, Massachusetts, because my parents still live there.
1365
01:03:19.389 --> 01:03:21.809
And I want to take off the paint and you
1366
01:03:21.849 --> 01:03:25.469
will see little Conan feet that are crushed into the
1367
01:03:25.510 --> 01:03:29.000
plaster because I was so enraged that I was being
1368
01:03:29.079 --> 01:03:31.139
told I had to take a nap at three. Now
1369
01:03:31.219 --> 01:03:32.840
I would love it if someone told me to go
1370
01:03:32.880 --> 01:03:33.739
take a nap at three.
1371
01:03:33.760 --> 01:03:33.960
Yeah.
1372
01:03:34.489 --> 01:03:39.090
Wait, what? Cots are small. Did your feet dangle off
1373
01:03:39.190 --> 01:03:39.590
the edge?
1374
01:03:39.610 --> 01:03:42.090
Yeah, I was a little boy. So in a... When
1375
01:03:42.130 --> 01:03:44.409
someone's a little boy, they aren't who they are now
1376
01:03:44.449 --> 01:03:47.150
wearing tiny clothes. I know, but you also. You're thinking
1377
01:03:47.190 --> 01:03:51.329
it's like a sketch. Here comes baby Conan. Hi, everybody.
1378
01:03:51.349 --> 01:03:55.030
I'm wearing a diaper and goo goo ga ga. Duck
1379
01:03:55.050 --> 01:03:58.969
your head, six foot four Conan baby. No, I was
1380
01:03:59.070 --> 01:04:01.639
a little boy and then I grew over the years.
1381
01:04:01.699 --> 01:04:04.019
Yeah, then when you grew, because you lived at home
1382
01:04:04.039 --> 01:04:06.679
until you went to college. So where did you sleep?
1383
01:04:06.719 --> 01:04:07.920
Did you still sleep on the couch? Well, eventually I
1384
01:04:07.920 --> 01:04:10.039
got moved up to the attic. Oh, okay. They moved
1385
01:04:10.059 --> 01:04:12.539
me to the attic. They banished you. Well, it was
1386
01:04:12.579 --> 01:04:15.519
a controversial move. Everyone else agreed it was the right
1387
01:04:15.559 --> 01:04:16.039
place for me.
1388
01:04:16.139 --> 01:04:16.460
I see.
1389
01:04:16.800 --> 01:04:18.340
I was at the end of a long hall in
1390
01:04:18.360 --> 01:04:20.900
the attic. Who should we send to the attic? All
1391
01:04:20.940 --> 01:04:22.920
I wanted was a desk up there and a bunch
1392
01:04:22.940 --> 01:04:24.860
of rubber stamps because I wanted to stamp papers.
1393
01:04:24.929 --> 01:04:26.010
Oh, my God.
1394
01:04:26.130 --> 01:04:28.389
And I was obsessed with having a little office. And
1395
01:04:28.409 --> 01:04:30.050
I was always like, I've got to go tend to
1396
01:04:30.090 --> 01:04:33.170
my affairs. Bing, bing, bing, bing. And I had signed
1397
01:04:33.230 --> 01:04:36.809
papers and I had some stamps that meant nothing, like remit.
1398
01:04:36.829 --> 01:04:38.650
You should have put rubber stamps on the soles of
1399
01:04:38.670 --> 01:04:42.269
your shoes. I know, I know. Stupid. What a weird kid.
1400
01:04:42.289 --> 01:04:43.550
What a weird man.
1401
01:04:43.590 --> 01:04:47.170
I was Tuesday Adams long before Tuesday Adams. Anyway, I
1402
01:04:47.230 --> 01:04:48.340
grew up in- Tuesday?
1403
01:04:48.380 --> 01:04:48.980
A Wednesday.
1404
01:04:49.000 --> 01:04:51.179
Oh, you know what?
1405
01:04:51.619 --> 01:04:52.239
I'm sorry.
1406
01:04:52.880 --> 01:04:53.239
You know?
1407
01:04:53.260 --> 01:04:54.320
Tuesday.
1408
01:04:54.360 --> 01:04:56.420
Oh, you mean from the show The Anders Family?
1409
01:04:59.610 --> 01:05:02.070
No, on leap year, she's Tuesday.
1410
01:05:02.489 --> 01:05:03.369
Oh, my God.
1411
01:05:03.550 --> 01:05:04.449
All right, I'll give you that.
1412
01:05:04.510 --> 01:05:08.449
All right. I got myself out of another scrape. All right,
1413
01:05:08.489 --> 01:05:11.610
that's our time for now. Remember, I was a weird child.
1414
01:05:14.719 --> 01:05:18.360
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian,
1415
01:05:18.559 --> 01:05:22.179
and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced
1416
01:05:22.219 --> 01:05:25.260
by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco,
1417
01:05:25.400 --> 01:05:28.639
and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song
1418
01:05:28.699 --> 01:05:32.119
by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take
1419
01:05:32.139 --> 01:05:38.539
it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and
1420
01:05:38.579 --> 01:05:42.260
our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing
1421
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:45.880
by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by
1422
01:05:45.960 --> 01:05:49.480
Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and
1423
01:05:49.519 --> 01:05:51.909
Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on
1424
01:05:52.010 --> 01:05:54.710
Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on
1425
01:05:54.750 --> 01:05:57.650
a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the
1426
01:05:57.690 --> 01:06:03.130
Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too,
1427
01:06:03.170 --> 01:06:05.389
could be featured on a future episode. And if you
1428
01:06:05.409 --> 01:06:08.460
haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend
1429
01:06:08.500 --> 01:06:10.800
wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
1430
01:06:10.840 --> 01:06:13.039
Conan O'Brien.
1431
01:06:19.090 --> 01:06:21.090
Needs a Friend.
1432
01:06:25.099 --> 01:06:28.860
Good nights are about the people. The laughs. The real
1433
01:06:28.900 --> 01:06:32.059
moments you don't want to miss. So, why step outside?
1434
01:06:32.980 --> 01:06:37.019
Velo tobacco-free nicotine pouches fit seamlessly into your night. Convenient
1435
01:06:37.239 --> 01:06:38.099
and full of flavour.
1436
01:06:38.400 --> 01:06:40.719
No breaks. No interruptions. Velo.
1437
01:06:41.000 --> 01:06:45.329
Anytime, anywhere nicotine pouches. 18 and over contains tobacco-free nicotine
1438
01:06:45.369 --> 01:06:47.690
and addictive substance. If you're new to Velo, start with Mellow.
1439
01:06:47.769 --> 01:06:49.289
You should not use this product if you do not
1440
01:06:49.389 --> 01:06:50.190
already use nicotine.
1441
01:06:51.909 --> 01:06:52.630
The KCR.
1442
01:06:53.070 --> 01:06:54.929
If ever there was a place in dire need of
1443
01:06:54.949 --> 01:06:58.739
an avocado scanner, it's here. So we've put one in
1444
01:06:58.780 --> 01:07:01.440
the new spa. No longer will locals have to merely
1445
01:07:01.639 --> 01:07:05.519
guess the ripeness of their avocados. Not into avos? Well,
1446
01:07:05.599 --> 01:07:09.400
there's bravado coffee, a deli and a Subway too. Under
1447
01:07:09.440 --> 01:07:11.059
the tree at the new spa KCR.