1
00:00:00,740 --> 00:00:06,326
The comedy4cast Network.
Let's dog-ear that for now.
2
00:00:06,327 --> 00:00:14,180
This is comedy4cast,
episode 880, Social Insecurity.
3
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:19,494
It's time once again for the August
Dog Days of Podcasting Challenge.
4
00:00:19,495 --> 00:00:23,937
For more information and to hear
shows from all the participants,
5
00:00:23,938 --> 00:00:27,384
go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
6
00:00:27,385 --> 00:00:32,354
comed4cast is taking this time to
provide you with some interesting yet
7
00:00:32,355 --> 00:00:39,474
totally useless odd news. In fact, two Odd
News stories that we think deserve each other.
8
00:00:39,475 --> 00:00:45,101
So, let's have some fun
with Odd News Times Twos.
9
00:00:45,102 --> 00:00:46,967
♪ "OPENING THEME" UP AND OUT ♪
10
00:00:46,968 --> 00:00:49,838
Our first story takes us to Malaysia.
11
00:00:49,839 --> 00:00:52,115
[ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ]
12
00:00:52,116 --> 00:00:53,937
Okay, we're here in Ipoh,
13
00:00:53,938 --> 00:00:57,601
and we're supposed to meet up with
some gentleman in this restaurant.
14
00:00:57,602 --> 00:01:01,542
Oh, here comes a lovely couple
getting seated right next to us.
15
00:01:01,543 --> 00:01:04,259
Maybe this gentleman is...
No, I guess not.
16
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,883
He just excused himself
to use the bathroom.
17
00:01:06,884 --> 00:01:09,663
Sorry, too much information.
Hang on.
18
00:01:09,664 --> 00:01:12,280
Why is that gruff-looking guy
bothering the woman?
19
00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:16,650
The woman handle the situation herself,
but should we intervene?
20
00:01:16,651 --> 00:01:18,403
Oh, maybe there's no need.
21
00:01:18,404 --> 00:01:22,103
The gentleman has returned and
appears to be giving the ruffian...
22
00:01:22,104 --> 00:01:29,203
What for. Crisis averted. Uh, except that
now the ne'er-do-well is headed our way.
23
00:01:29,204 --> 00:01:33,365
I think this is a good time to head off to
cover our second odd news story.
24
00:01:33,366 --> 00:01:35,065
Off to Russia!
25
00:01:35,066 --> 00:01:36,755
[ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ]
26
00:01:36,756 --> 00:01:40,785
And here we are in Moscow to
check out a strange new trend.
27
00:01:40,786 --> 00:01:42,073
Look over there.
28
00:01:42,074 --> 00:01:46,626
That guy. The one with hiS
iPhone out. Watch. Or listen.
29
00:01:46,627 --> 00:01:48,376
[ PHONE CRASHES TO THE GROUND ]
30
00:01:48,377 --> 00:01:51,433
Yeah, he just smashed his
phone down on the ground.
31
00:01:51,434 --> 00:01:54,785
Hard. Really making a mess of the screen.
32
00:01:54,786 --> 00:01:58,693
But he wasn't taking out his frustrations
over having connectivity issues or
33
00:01:58,694 --> 00:02:02,174
going over a data cap.
No, he did it on purpose.
34
00:02:02,175 --> 00:02:03,882
And he's happy he did it.
35
00:02:03,883 --> 00:02:08,397
This all stems from a recent
TikTok trend. Of course it does.
36
00:02:08,398 --> 00:02:12,559
Where women were posting
photos of their old, beat-up iPhones.
37
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:17,331
Equating a roughed-up phone,
practically held together with duct tape,
38
00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:21,563
as being the type of phone a real man has.
39
00:02:21,564 --> 00:02:26,323
Of course, those photos were probably
taken with brand-new iPhones.
40
00:02:26,324 --> 00:02:30,743
And some of the men who smashed
their phones may just now be realizing that
41
00:02:30,744 --> 00:02:34,753
it's going to be really hard to take
a mirror selfie of themselves with their
42
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:39,528
trashed phone now that they've
damaged the built-in camera.
43
00:02:39,529 --> 00:02:42,130
Better luck next time, fellas.
44
00:02:42,131 --> 00:02:43,763
Now back to Malaysia.
45
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,582
[ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ]
46
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:49,593
Dang it! That troublemaker is
still headed for our table.
47
00:02:49,594 --> 00:02:52,906
Oh, he's smiling and putting out his hand.
48
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:56,530
This is actually the person
we're supposed to meet?
49
00:02:56,531 --> 00:03:02,077
It is indeed. His name is Shezali Sulaiman,
and he's often been told that he
50
00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:07,606
looks like a gang member. What with his unkept
long hair and biker clothing and whatnot.
51
00:03:07,607 --> 00:03:12,198
At first, Sulaiman shook it off.
But over time, he started thinking.
52
00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:16,777
Maybe he could use this persona
to his advantage. Soon afterwards,
53
00:03:16,778 --> 00:03:19,692
Sulaiman announced a
Villains for Hire service.
54
00:03:19,693 --> 00:03:23,674
not as a henchman or minion,
but as a fall guy.
55
00:03:23,675 --> 00:03:28,408
For a fee of 100 ringgit,
$22 U.S., on weekdays
56
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:33,166
and 150 ringgit during weekends,
you can hire Sulaiman.
57
00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:38,105
Then set up a time and place where
he will show up to bother your partner,
58
00:03:38,106 --> 00:03:44,387
giving you a chance to intervene and pretend
to be a heroine or knight in shining armor.
59
00:03:44,388 --> 00:03:49,027
And make no mistake, it is a business.
If Sulaiman has to travel out of town,
60
00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,543
you have to pay his
travel expenses too.
61
00:03:51,544 --> 00:03:55,304
Now you can certainly find issues
with the Villains for Hire concept.
62
00:03:55,305 --> 00:03:58,225
Is Sulaiman breaking the law
by harassing people?
63
00:03:58,226 --> 00:04:01,620
Sulaiman assures people
it is all just an act.
64
00:04:01,621 --> 00:04:04,675
Like WWE. No one gets hurt.
65
00:04:04,676 --> 00:04:09,979
I am the only loser. Well, until
the partner finds out at least.
66
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:11,926
So what did we learn today?
67
00:04:11,927 --> 00:04:16,272
I think it's that if you have an
overpowering urge to be a poser,
68
00:04:16,273 --> 00:04:20,626
don't go and throw your phone on
the ground. What did it ever do to you?
69
00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:25,267
Contact a villain for hire instead.
At least that way, while you make a fool
70
00:04:25,268 --> 00:04:29,200
of yourself, some
local entrepreneur has a job.
71
00:04:29,201 --> 00:04:31,284
♪ "END THEME" IN AND UNDER
♪
72
00:04:31,285 --> 00:04:35,016
That about wraps it up for
today's Odd News Times Twos.
73
00:04:35,017 --> 00:04:40,752
But first, a very special shout-out to my
Patreon patrons, including producer-level
74
00:04:40,753 --> 00:04:46,692
patrons Paul Barrie from the A Window to
the Magic podcast, Kirby Bartlett-Sloan,
75
00:04:46,693 --> 00:04:53,232
Chuck Tomasi from the Technorama podcast,
Kyle Nishioka, Brian Martsolf, Amy Murphy,
76
00:04:53,233 --> 00:04:57,255
and Steve Ng from steveng5.com.
77
00:04:57,256 --> 00:05:04,059
That's S-T-E-V-E-N-G, the number 5, dot com.
You too can show your support.
78
00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:08,412
Just search for comedy4cast,
all one word with the number 4,
79
00:05:08,413 --> 00:05:13,792
on Patreon.com. Original script,
voices, and original music by me,
80
00:05:13,793 --> 00:05:16,876
Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2026.
81
00:05:16,877 --> 00:05:20,752
All rights reserved. Talk to you
again next time. But for now,
82
00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:24,266
that's it. We're done, done,
done, done, done. Bye-bye.
00:00:00,740 --> 00:00:06,326
The comedy4cast Network.
Let's dog-ear that for now.
2
00:00:06,327 --> 00:00:14,180
This is comedy4cast,
episode 880, Social Insecurity.
3
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:19,494
It's time once again for the August
Dog Days of Podcasting Challenge.
4
00:00:19,495 --> 00:00:23,937
For more information and to hear
shows from all the participants,
5
00:00:23,938 --> 00:00:27,384
go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
6
00:00:27,385 --> 00:00:32,354
comed4cast is taking this time to
provide you with some interesting yet
7
00:00:32,355 --> 00:00:39,474
totally useless odd news. In fact, two Odd
News stories that we think deserve each other.
8
00:00:39,475 --> 00:00:45,101
So, let's have some fun
with Odd News Times Twos.
9
00:00:45,102 --> 00:00:46,967
♪ "OPENING THEME" UP AND OUT ♪
10
00:00:46,968 --> 00:00:49,838
Our first story takes us to Malaysia.
11
00:00:49,839 --> 00:00:52,115
[ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ]
12
00:00:52,116 --> 00:00:53,937
Okay, we're here in Ipoh,
13
00:00:53,938 --> 00:00:57,601
and we're supposed to meet up with
some gentleman in this restaurant.
14
00:00:57,602 --> 00:01:01,542
Oh, here comes a lovely couple
getting seated right next to us.
15
00:01:01,543 --> 00:01:04,259
Maybe this gentleman is...
No, I guess not.
16
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,883
He just excused himself
to use the bathroom.
17
00:01:06,884 --> 00:01:09,663
Sorry, too much information.
Hang on.
18
00:01:09,664 --> 00:01:12,280
Why is that gruff-looking guy
bothering the woman?
19
00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:16,650
The woman handle the situation herself,
but should we intervene?
20
00:01:16,651 --> 00:01:18,403
Oh, maybe there's no need.
21
00:01:18,404 --> 00:01:22,103
The gentleman has returned and
appears to be giving the ruffian...
22
00:01:22,104 --> 00:01:29,203
What for. Crisis averted. Uh, except that
now the ne'er-do-well is headed our way.
23
00:01:29,204 --> 00:01:33,365
I think this is a good time to head off to
cover our second odd news story.
24
00:01:33,366 --> 00:01:35,065
Off to Russia!
25
00:01:35,066 --> 00:01:36,755
[ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ]
26
00:01:36,756 --> 00:01:40,785
And here we are in Moscow to
check out a strange new trend.
27
00:01:40,786 --> 00:01:42,073
Look over there.
28
00:01:42,074 --> 00:01:46,626
That guy. The one with hiS
iPhone out. Watch. Or listen.
29
00:01:46,627 --> 00:01:48,376
[ PHONE CRASHES TO THE GROUND ]
30
00:01:48,377 --> 00:01:51,433
Yeah, he just smashed his
phone down on the ground.
31
00:01:51,434 --> 00:01:54,785
Hard. Really making a mess of the screen.
32
00:01:54,786 --> 00:01:58,693
But he wasn't taking out his frustrations
over having connectivity issues or
33
00:01:58,694 --> 00:02:02,174
going over a data cap.
No, he did it on purpose.
34
00:02:02,175 --> 00:02:03,882
And he's happy he did it.
35
00:02:03,883 --> 00:02:08,397
This all stems from a recent
TikTok trend. Of course it does.
36
00:02:08,398 --> 00:02:12,559
Where women were posting
photos of their old, beat-up iPhones.
37
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:17,331
Equating a roughed-up phone,
practically held together with duct tape,
38
00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:21,563
as being the type of phone a real man has.
39
00:02:21,564 --> 00:02:26,323
Of course, those photos were probably
taken with brand-new iPhones.
40
00:02:26,324 --> 00:02:30,743
And some of the men who smashed
their phones may just now be realizing that
41
00:02:30,744 --> 00:02:34,753
it's going to be really hard to take
a mirror selfie of themselves with their
42
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:39,528
trashed phone now that they've
damaged the built-in camera.
43
00:02:39,529 --> 00:02:42,130
Better luck next time, fellas.
44
00:02:42,131 --> 00:02:43,763
Now back to Malaysia.
45
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,582
[ ELECTRONIC WHOOSH ]
46
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:49,593
Dang it! That troublemaker is
still headed for our table.
47
00:02:49,594 --> 00:02:52,906
Oh, he's smiling and putting out his hand.
48
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:56,530
This is actually the person
we're supposed to meet?
49
00:02:56,531 --> 00:03:02,077
It is indeed. His name is Shezali Sulaiman,
and he's often been told that he
50
00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:07,606
looks like a gang member. What with his unkept
long hair and biker clothing and whatnot.
51
00:03:07,607 --> 00:03:12,198
At first, Sulaiman shook it off.
But over time, he started thinking.
52
00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:16,777
Maybe he could use this persona
to his advantage. Soon afterwards,
53
00:03:16,778 --> 00:03:19,692
Sulaiman announced a
Villains for Hire service.
54
00:03:19,693 --> 00:03:23,674
not as a henchman or minion,
but as a fall guy.
55
00:03:23,675 --> 00:03:28,408
For a fee of 100 ringgit,
$22 U.S., on weekdays
56
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:33,166
and 150 ringgit during weekends,
you can hire Sulaiman.
57
00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:38,105
Then set up a time and place where
he will show up to bother your partner,
58
00:03:38,106 --> 00:03:44,387
giving you a chance to intervene and pretend
to be a heroine or knight in shining armor.
59
00:03:44,388 --> 00:03:49,027
And make no mistake, it is a business.
If Sulaiman has to travel out of town,
60
00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,543
you have to pay his
travel expenses too.
61
00:03:51,544 --> 00:03:55,304
Now you can certainly find issues
with the Villains for Hire concept.
62
00:03:55,305 --> 00:03:58,225
Is Sulaiman breaking the law
by harassing people?
63
00:03:58,226 --> 00:04:01,620
Sulaiman assures people
it is all just an act.
64
00:04:01,621 --> 00:04:04,675
Like WWE. No one gets hurt.
65
00:04:04,676 --> 00:04:09,979
I am the only loser. Well, until
the partner finds out at least.
66
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:11,926
So what did we learn today?
67
00:04:11,927 --> 00:04:16,272
I think it's that if you have an
overpowering urge to be a poser,
68
00:04:16,273 --> 00:04:20,626
don't go and throw your phone on
the ground. What did it ever do to you?
69
00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:25,267
Contact a villain for hire instead.
At least that way, while you make a fool
70
00:04:25,268 --> 00:04:29,200
of yourself, some
local entrepreneur has a job.
71
00:04:29,201 --> 00:04:31,284
♪ "END THEME" IN AND UNDER
♪
72
00:04:31,285 --> 00:04:35,016
That about wraps it up for
today's Odd News Times Twos.
73
00:04:35,017 --> 00:04:40,752
But first, a very special shout-out to my
Patreon patrons, including producer-level
74
00:04:40,753 --> 00:04:46,692
patrons Paul Barrie from the A Window to
the Magic podcast, Kirby Bartlett-Sloan,
75
00:04:46,693 --> 00:04:53,232
Chuck Tomasi from the Technorama podcast,
Kyle Nishioka, Brian Martsolf, Amy Murphy,
76
00:04:53,233 --> 00:04:57,255
and Steve Ng from steveng5.com.
77
00:04:57,256 --> 00:05:04,059
That's S-T-E-V-E-N-G, the number 5, dot com.
You too can show your support.
78
00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:08,412
Just search for comedy4cast,
all one word with the number 4,
79
00:05:08,413 --> 00:05:13,792
on Patreon.com. Original script,
voices, and original music by me,
80
00:05:13,793 --> 00:05:16,876
Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2026.
81
00:05:16,877 --> 00:05:20,752
All rights reserved. Talk to you
again next time. But for now,
82
00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:24,266
that's it. We're done, done,
done, done, done. Bye-bye.
