WEBVTT
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I've been on this desert road for miles.
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I could really use some gas.
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Maybe a couple snacks.
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Oh, next gas station, a mile ahead.
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Good to know.
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I think I'll just pull over here.
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Huh.
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I'm sure there's another one up the road.
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Hello everyone, and welcome to the next episode of Comedy and Dice.
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My name is Tyler Wood.
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I play AIE the Barbarian, Ericakra level three.
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He's a father.
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He is a part of the mafia, and he is currently with his friends in a dune buggy, ready to go.
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And usually to my left, but now above me in the Discord call, is Hi, I'm Grant Janik.
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I am your DM.
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DM, of course, stands for Dirty Mop and also stands for Dungeon Master.
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I am the world.
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And usually to my left, but also uh according to my screen, I'm in the correct rotation and everyone else is too.
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So to my left is the amazing and lovable.
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Who's doing it?
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It's always you, Mark.
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Oh, it's not me.
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And um, yeah, that other space was mine.
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It's uh Mark Brady.
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I am John Lick.
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I am a halfling druid dog.
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Irish setter now.
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Uh accent got switched up and uh you're a Scottish Terrier.
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Right, yes.
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What did I say?
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Irish setter.
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Oh, yeah.
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Scottish Terrier, right.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, an Irish setter is a volleyball player who just sets the spikes.
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All right.
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That's gonna not make it in.
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It has to.
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And then uh, of course, uh last but not least, um, one of the whole the whole gang's favorite, I think.
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And this is where Shane's intro usually goes.
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He is Ranger Danger, a half-elf Ranger, and his audio dropped.
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So I'm just inserting this for him uh because it is way too late to be asking him to re-record.
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We had a little bit of a technical difficulty, some of the fun of recording remotely, but we got it figured out, and even though we lost some of Shane's recording, we were able to sync back up and restart the episode.
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Hey Grant, I have a question.
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I have an answer.
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Where are we?
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What are we doing?
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Yes! Well, big episode last time.
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When we last left off, you guys had entered back into the world of Dunkel Sprout, but it was not as it all seems, as the cutesy fun, pink, Katy Perry-filled world of Dunkel Sprout has been mad-maxified as the author has taken Dunkel Sprout because you know where the plot hole is originally.
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It's up in Meaniburg Hill in Meaniburg Castle.
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And your goal is to just get to the castle and get to the plot hole, but he created this hellscape of a world, just sand dunes.
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Uh, and speaking of sand dunes, unluckily, you guys do not have to walk on this sand dune because you have a buggy that you guys have used some scrap metal to make into your very own Mad Max mobile.
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The upgrades that you have put on it so far is like a cow plate or whatever it's called, basically the cow catcher.
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The cowcatcher, uh, the V on the top of the buggy.
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You also have fortified it with walls, and then you also took some spikes on the bottom of it.
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So you have two on the front wheels, two on the back wheels, and then two on the sides.
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That being said, you also did something very important, very plot-related.
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Before you went into the book, uh AI took his feather and pricked Ranger for some blood and wrote in chapter 20, the key, wrote, the key is in chapter four, which happens to be where you guys are right now.
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That being said, now you guys are following this map, Doom Buggy in tow.
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You have two more stops until you make it to Meanie Berg Hill.
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The two stops on the map are one, looks like sort of a pool area, more of like a pool of water pond-esque, and then another one is just a deep hole, and then you're at Meaniburg Hill.
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But be sure to be going quick because you have some people in hot pursuit.
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You guys did not see who was in hot pursuit behind you.
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You just knew that you are being chased.
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So, with that, we'll pick up on you guys traveling on your way along this curvy road as you are traveling to the pond, the next area of fucking interest.
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There you go.
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Thanks.
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There's an award-winning linguistics.
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I have to be going quick, quick going, quickly.
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We grant, you're the best.
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Thanks.
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Thanks.
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I I I had therapy today, so it's I'm ready to go.
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I got told like I'm ready to quit.
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No, no joke.
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I got told today in therapy.
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He was like, hey, I think you may be depressed.
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I was like, oh, he was he was right.
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He was just he just told you that.
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Well, how long have you been seeing this guy?
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Oh, a couple years.
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I got sober with him too, and we're just learning this now.
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Yeah, I would have thought that would have been one of my first guesses.
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Hey, Grant, you know what would help?
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Well, another trip to Disney.
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Oh, we're planning it.
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Uh oh, but there so with that, we pick up with you guys.
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We pick up with you guys rolling along the sand dunes.
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Who is who was the last person to drive, I believe?
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Because you guys had gotten out to fill the gas.
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So I set the gas station on fire, so I might as well be the person driving.
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I'll I will take responsibility for that one.
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All right.
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So then Mark, you're in the back with the kids.
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Yep.
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Okay, it's it's just you, and then who has the worm?
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Who has the bookworm?
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Nobody, everybody hates him.
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All right, you left him.
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He's he's left fine.
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Uh I'll keep him.
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I'll keep him with me because if he pisses me off, it's something I can snack on.
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All right.
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So, with that in mind, we're gonna pick up with you guys just traveling along this dune buggy.
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Grant is looks like he's riding a horse or something else.
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You're a bit jovial when you ride a dick, Grant.
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That's that's interesting to know.
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It's a great place to be.
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I'm happy to be there.
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Yeah, you don't like depressed at all, actually.
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No, it's where the G-spot is, man.
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I think he rides a dick, like he rides the teacups at Disney World, like, ha!
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I spin the same way too on it.
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Okay, so we're we're heading down.
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What do I see out the the windshield?
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So out the windshield, currently, you see just it's more sand.
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There's it's winding up and down as it continuously goes.
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I will say also, you guys keep periodically looking back in the weird view mirror just to see whoever's chasing you.
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You can't see who's chasing you.
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All you see is dust of somebody continuously following you.
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You can't figure out what it is, but you can tell that something is in fact following you.
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I put my left arm out the side of the dune buggy.
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I assume there's a hole there where I can just like put my hand out, and I'm going to angle it in such a way that it does not hit the dune buggy, but it does go onto the ground.
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I'm going to spray as much as I can, as often as I can, from my cantrip of acid splash onto the sand.
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So we all know liquid keeps well on sand.
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Okay, yeah.
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You are doing that as you cast acid splash, it's creating these bubbles.
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So it's not a continuous stream, but it's a giant bubble glop, a giant bubble glop, a giant bubble glop.
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So as you are periodically doing that, you continue along this map, and you see in the horizon, you start to see silhouettes of trees.
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I'd say more of the palm variety.
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Alright.
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The palm variety.
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Am I following the map?
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What do I see on the map?
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You are you are following the map.
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Is there a road we're following?
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There's not really a road.
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It's more so a loose path, but you can tell using the map, like there's giant hills of sand dunes that you would not be able to use to get like use the dune buggy to get up.
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So you can use that we're going in between some of them.
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You're going in between some of them, you're able to use them as landmarks in comparison to the map.
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So you can tell that you are on path to the next part of this place, this desert, uh, and you can tell that these palm trees are signifying that you are getting closer and closer to your intended destination.
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Alright, let's go to the pool.
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Fast travel.
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So as you approach the pool, the the palm trees start to get more and more like palm tree-ish.
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They're they're not hands.
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They they start to appear more and more often.
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And you start to notice that you pass a palm tree, pass another palm tree, then you pass a cactus, which is the first time you've kind of seen vegetation in this area.
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As you continue more and more, you see more and more cacti appear, and some of them have red flowers budding.
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As you continue onward, you start to see now grass is spurting up here and there.
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Very sparse.
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It's not like outside, not outside grass, it's not like you know, patches uh and fields of grass, but it's patches, it's small pricks here and there.
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It's not outside grass.
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No, it's inside grass.
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It's like a it's it's a Christmas tree.
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Yeah, it's turf.
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It's astroturf.
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Uh as you continue along as well, you start to notice that the air has shifted from a dry heat to a humidity heat.
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And I would say here everybody roll perception.
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14.
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11.
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18.
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Okay, with uh an 18, John and AI, you guys do not know this, but Ranger, you are able to sense that something is kind of caddy wampous with these trees.
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Something's a little afoot.
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You can't put your finger on it, but as you whiz by, something's going a little bit wonky with these.
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Alright.
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You guys, there's something up with this forest of pine, maybe palmetto trees.
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What are you talking about?
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It feels wrong.
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It just doesn't feel right.
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It said it just doesn't feel right.
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I'm feeling it.
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You know how, like, right when you're about to pass out and everything starts to go black around your eyes, it feels like that.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Do I need to stop?
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What do I need to do?
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Keep going.
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No, I'm gonna I'm gonna I wanna uh do detect magic.
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Okay, as you cast detect magic, you are able to discern that there is indeed a magical presence around you, and the magical school is school of illusion.
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Ooh, okay.
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Oh, can you illus illusion now?
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Can you think I just know it's from the school of illusion?
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Unfortunately.
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But uh, y'all, this is an illusion.
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All this is fake.
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You know, this for this forest of palm trees.
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You know how I say we're living the simulation, and you're like, whatever.
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This is it feels like this.
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It's all like I don't think these trees are real.
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I think this is uh I think I think it's a mirage.
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It's a mirage.
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Ooh, that's what that's the phrase, especially for a whole lot of the room.
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Well, what do we do?
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Do we keep going?
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There's people you know coming behind us here.
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Oh, yeah.
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How should we do that?
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Maybe we maybe we stop and and and let them pass and see what happens.
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Yeah, we we go like Scooby-Doo, like behind the tree.
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We have a big long car and it's not that wide of a tree, and we go behind it and we disappear.
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Oh, yeah, yeah.
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And then they go by and then we come out the other side, like all along.
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Like, oh, you know what?
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I'm gonna uh I'm gonna cast a fog cloud when they come by.
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That way we hide ourselves, they don't see us.
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That's smart.
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That's smart.
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Yeah, that's right.
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That's right.
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We'll just be just be a giant inconspicuous cloud of fog right in the middle of this mirage.
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Yeah, well, I mean, who knows?
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They couldn't see us, so uh let me see how how much I can cast 30 feet cube uh cube of fog that's okay.
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Uh 20 feet?
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So what if I do it a bunch?
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What if I just keep going casting all over the place?
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I'm like, oh yeah.
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What fucking accent do you have right now?
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I can I can do it uh uh a bunch of times.
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Is it a cantrip or is it uh it's a first level?
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How many how many spell slots do you have available to cast fog?
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You would have reset since we actually I don't know what did you cast any spells last week?
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He casted fog to get away.
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Okay, yeah, I only got one one spell I like.
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Please do use up one of your slots.
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Ooh, I have mold earth.
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What I can mold earth, make us a little uh a little a little place we can hide behind Scooby-do it.
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I thought you said mold orf.
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I was like, oh, is it a Lord of the Rings podcast?
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That's what I want to do.
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Let's get out.
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Let's do it.
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Actually, you don't have to get out just in case.
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Yeah, mold earth is a cantrip, so you can do this as many times as you want.
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Nice.
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Molding sand.
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It's yeah, that's that's part of earth.
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Yeah, you can do that.
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Mold earth.
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If it's not wet, it's just gonna like you choose a portion of dirt or stone that you can see within range that fits within a five-foot cube.
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If you target an area of loose earth, you can instantly excavate it, or you can make it difficult terrain.
00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:31.279
Alright.
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I I'm going to make mold the sand into an arrow point that we're gonna hide behind.
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And it's gonna be going pointing towards uh the way we're going.
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Can you smart?
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You have fire, right?
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Yeah, some type of fire.
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Uh no, I don't think I do.
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I think Shane does.
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Do I?
00:14:54.879 --> 00:15:02.639
What if you you take the sand and you mold it into like an arrow shape, and then Shane, you use fire and make it into glass.
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That way you have a giant glass arrow.
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Well, it's not a it's not like a two-way mirror.
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Yeah, he's trying to make a big arrow for you to hide behind, not like.
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I'm sorry, you're still Looney Tunes.
00:15:17.200 --> 00:15:22.080
You're still Looney Tunes, and I'm thinking you have an actual like arrow that you're gonna pull back.
00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:28.559
If you made it glass, you they would just see the dune buggy behind the arrow.
00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:35.679
Where would they go?
00:15:37.039 --> 00:15:37.759
Oh, they're right there.
00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:39.200
They're behind that glass.
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:43.120
But the arrow's pointing, so they know that we went into the place.
00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:44.639
So it's a distraction.
00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:48.240
That's not a bad idea for making arrows in the future.
00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:49.919
Oh, yeah, for sure.
00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:50.480
Yeah.
00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:54.320
So what what's the plan that we're going with here?
00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:57.679
I'm gonna defer to my my my two animated friends on this one.
00:15:57.759 --> 00:15:59.200
They seem to have this down.
00:15:59.440 --> 00:16:03.200
I'm gonna mold Earth uh into uh just enough to cover.
00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:09.919
So I don't want it to obviously be like a sheet, but I'm it's it's like a gradual, just kind of blanket, if you will.
00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:14.559
Okay, so you're creating more or less like a uh more of the dune.
00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:16.240
You're making it look more duney.
00:16:16.559 --> 00:16:17.200
More duney.
00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:26.000
I will say um I'll let you pick whichever one you want.
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:31.519
You can either do this as a sleight of hand check or a nature check.
00:16:31.919 --> 00:16:34.639
Oh, uh what?
00:16:34.879 --> 00:16:37.039
I don't even do I have those?
00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:39.840
Those are two skills that everyone has, yeah.
00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:40.559
Right.
00:16:40.720 --> 00:16:43.679
Uh I will do sleight of hand.
00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:45.120
15.
00:16:45.360 --> 00:16:46.000
15.
00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:49.840
You do it just in the nick of time.
00:16:50.080 --> 00:16:55.279
So so you're able to create effectively what you want to make.
00:16:55.440 --> 00:17:02.320
Tell me exactly how you're hiding behind it so I can narrate because it's gonna it's gonna affect a lot.
00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:05.279
Okay, well, we're we're are we're still in the car, right?
00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:08.559
Because we at first we were like, we're gonna get out, and then we're like, well, that's dumb.
00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:09.759
Because if we're hiding.
00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:23.039
So it's really just we're all in the car, and then uh from like the top of it, it's just kind of hilly, and then on its way down to kind of blend in to the bottom.
00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:27.680
Okay, so it's more or less completely covered by sand.
00:17:28.079 --> 00:17:28.480
Yeah.
00:17:28.799 --> 00:17:36.480
Are we talking like from left to right igloo style, or you're more hiding behind like a big mound?
00:17:36.880 --> 00:17:37.519
Nice.
00:17:37.839 --> 00:17:40.720
More more of hiding behind a big mound.
00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:41.440
Hell yeah.
00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:42.319
Than an igloo.
00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:42.480
Okay.
00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:44.160
That's all I want for my birthday.
00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:44.880
A big mound.
00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:46.720
Well, hiding behind a big mound.
00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:47.519
Yeah.
00:17:47.759 --> 00:17:48.480
Hell yeah.
00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:51.200
You don't want that left to right igloo style, don't you?
00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:53.519
No, no, that's too advanced for me.
00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:55.839
I'd break it, it would be good.
00:17:58.079 --> 00:17:58.400
Okay.
00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:06.640
So you are able to make this big hill that you pull the van around, and everybody roll perception.
00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:13.599
Roll it with disadvantage because there isn't specifically places for you guys to look out to see at who's following you.
00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:15.519
Oh fuck.
00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:17.680
Disadvantage, I got five.
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:20.079
I got a six.
00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:21.279
Two.
00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:21.920
Okay.
00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:28.640
All you can hear is the roaring sound of one engine.
00:18:28.799 --> 00:18:29.200
Is it going?
00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:34.559
And then you hear a multitude of tires.
00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:35.839
Multitude.
00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:37.680
A multitude of tires.
00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:39.839
Can I get a definition, Judge?
00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:42.160
Yeah, there is more than one.
00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:44.000
Oh my god, a bicycle.
00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:45.359
Oh my god.
00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:46.400
You guys hear that?
00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:47.599
It sounds like a bicycle.
00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:48.400
Yeah.
00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:58.000
And then you hear it go and then it goes as it speeds away.
00:18:58.240 --> 00:19:02.240
And it goes in the direction of the pool.
00:19:02.559 --> 00:19:03.759
The arrow worked.
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:05.759
So do we see do we see it?
00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:08.319
Like how how far away is it?
00:19:08.400 --> 00:19:10.880
And like, when do we when do you guys want to go?
00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:12.480
You know, we got to time this a little bit.
00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:13.920
Because I want to see what happens to them.
00:19:14.079 --> 00:19:15.039
Oh, they're gonna keep going.
00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:16.160
I kind of want to keep my eye on it.
00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:18.000
I don't think so.
00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:19.440
I don't think we've got any binoculars.
00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:21.359
Oh no, can we see can we see them from here?
00:19:21.599 --> 00:19:22.960
I can make some out of glass.
00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:24.079
Yeah, we could.
00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:25.039
No, that'd be stupid.
00:19:25.119 --> 00:19:26.240
Let's make more arrows.
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:34.000
Um so we can't see them from here.
00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:35.200
You can't see them from here.
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:36.160
They've already sped off.
00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:37.920
And there's nothing, no one behind them.
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:41.279
It's just it's there, from what you can see.
00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:43.680
Uh I won't even make you roll perception for this.
00:19:43.759 --> 00:19:44.720
There's no one behind them.
00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:48.400
This is the person that was chasing you, and they have continued on forward.
00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:53.359
Okay, let's uh Well, there's only that we're kind of fucked because that's the road we gotta go down.
00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:53.839
True.
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:55.200
But I'd rather be behind them.
00:19:55.279 --> 00:19:56.079
I think that's fine.
00:19:56.240 --> 00:19:57.200
That's right here.
00:19:58.559 --> 00:19:59.920
I want to see what happens to them.
00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:02.000
Rather have a bottle in front of me.
00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:09.519
Shane said they'd rather be in front of us, and it reminds me of that thing where I've had it in my head a lot recently.
00:20:09.680 --> 00:20:12.720
I'd rather have a bottle.
00:20:12.880 --> 00:20:14.319
Would you rather have a bottle?
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:14.880
Fuck.
00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:17.599
Would I rather have a bottle in front of me or a frontal lobotomy?
00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:18.319
Ooh.
00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:18.960
Oh.
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:19.759
Yeah.
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:20.799
Hell yeah.
00:20:21.039 --> 00:20:21.440
Both.
00:20:21.599 --> 00:20:22.400
Uh fuck you guys.
00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:24.079
I'm cutting it from the podcast.
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:28.160
Looks like I never bomb.
00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:31.279
Hilarious.
00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:33.759
How how often we we're at a fog cloud?
00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:35.680
Uh, Ranger, you got any cantrips?
00:20:35.839 --> 00:20:36.960
Oh, let's see what I got.
00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:37.599
I have.
00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:40.880
Oh, I have control flames, but I can't produce flames.
00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:41.839
I have firebolt.
00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:43.359
Yeah, I have produced flames.
00:20:43.680 --> 00:20:44.319
Mage hand.
00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:45.279
What does this do?
00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:52.960
A spectra floating hand that appears at a point you choose, and the hand will hand job you for the duration.
00:20:53.279 --> 00:21:05.039
Oh, what if we uh we drive by, but you're casting uh mage hand if you see them, and you're given like a thumbs up to show that we're not conspicuous or anything, like we're good to go.
00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:05.759
That's a good idea.
00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:07.680
Yeah, yeah, that because that'll throw them off.
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:08.319
All right, let's do it.
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:09.279
We're driving we're driving yet.
00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:09.759
Let's get in.
00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:10.240
Who's driving?
00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:10.640
You're driving.
00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:11.839
I'm driving.
00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:16.960
I take off, I go at a moderate pace towards the direction that we saw them take off.
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:17.599
What do we see?
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:18.160
Okay.
00:21:18.319 --> 00:21:26.480
As you continue onward, the trees start to get more and more dense, the humidity starts to gain more and more humid.
00:21:26.640 --> 00:21:28.559
As you know, more and more humid.
00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:28.880
Nice.
00:21:29.119 --> 00:21:52.240
Yes, as you continue onward, you reach an opening where you see a vast oasis, you see a pool of water, and in the very center is a rock, a very flat stone, and coiled up on that stone, you see a mermaid just J chillin' on it.
00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:59.759
And as you continue looking onward, you see to the left of the doughnut esque oasis, you see.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:22.880
A giant 18-wheeler rig that is currently not on, engine not running, and walking towards the mermaid in the center, getting ready to start swimming, is a very scarred, tathered, beat-up cartoon the mare.
00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:32.000
And as he starts stumbling forward, he removes his shirt to start swimming.
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:41.200
And as he removes his shirt, you see around his neck a shining and glistening key.
00:22:41.759 --> 00:22:47.359
And he dives into the water and starts swimming towards the mermaid.
00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:49.680
Does anybody have anything to fucks with water?
00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:51.200
Yep.
00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:55.200
First of all, did you guys see that how long that mermaid was?
00:22:55.440 --> 00:22:56.480
She was coiled up.
00:22:56.640 --> 00:22:57.680
She's coiled up on that.
00:22:58.640 --> 00:22:59.440
I've never swimming.
00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:04.160
I've never seen such a long mermaid.
00:23:04.400 --> 00:23:07.279
It's gotta be the longest one I've ever seen.
00:23:08.640 --> 00:23:11.279
It's gonna be at least 12 foot up.
00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:12.160
At least.
00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:14.960
Now you're Australian.
00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:18.160
That's great.
00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:19.200
Crikey.
00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:20.000
Crikey.
00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:22.799
I have create or destroy water.
00:23:23.119 --> 00:23:23.839
I can destroy.
00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:25.839
Can I get rid of it while he's in there?
00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:31.599
And then he's just in the bottom of a big pool.
00:23:31.839 --> 00:23:34.319
Yeah, that he looks like an idiot trying to swim on land.
00:23:35.519 --> 00:23:36.559
Jokes on him.
00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:41.119
Uh all I have is firebolt and poison spray.
00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:42.240
Yeah, I don't have anything.
00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:43.359
I got mage hand.
00:23:43.440 --> 00:23:45.759
I didn't uh can I have beast bond.
00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:48.319
I could bond with the bottom half of the mermaid.
00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:49.759
Yeah, if it's willing.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:50.640
Yeah.
00:23:51.039 --> 00:23:51.519
True.
00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:54.000
I can manipulate an object with a mage hand.
00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:54.880
There you go.
00:23:55.039 --> 00:23:56.400
Oh, to what extent?
00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:57.839
Um, let's see.
00:23:58.160 --> 00:23:59.599
It's like a normal hand.
00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:01.680
Yeah, so anything I want, really.
00:24:01.920 --> 00:24:03.119
Grab him and squeeze him.
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:03.680
Yeah.
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:05.440
The guy or the mermaid?
00:24:05.519 --> 00:24:07.519
Should I just grab the mermaid by the tail?
00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:08.319
Oh, cartoon both.
00:24:08.799 --> 00:24:10.799
If you kill cartoon, it's Edgar Allan Pooh.
00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:14.079
If you kill if you die in the video game, you die in real life.
00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:16.240
It's it's that fucking Tom Cruise movie.
00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:17.039
That's a good call.
00:24:17.119 --> 00:24:17.599
I like this.
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:18.480
All right, I'm gonna do that.
00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:19.599
Risky business.
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:20.880
Risky business.
00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:24.240
I want a mage hand and squeeze.
00:24:25.759 --> 00:24:26.079
Okay.
00:24:26.640 --> 00:24:30.319
How far how far away is Mage Hand like active?
00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:33.680
It says 30 feet.
00:24:34.079 --> 00:24:35.200
I gotta get closer.
00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:37.599
You'd have to get pretty close.
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:40.799
He's so far away that he doesn't notice you guys.
00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:41.839
Oh, so man.
00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:46.799
I'd say you're about like 120, you know, you're about like maybe 50, 60 yards away.
00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:47.680
Okay, I got a plan.
00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:54.799
I want to create mage hand, and I want the hand to throw me over him, and I will stab him to death.
00:24:55.119 --> 00:24:56.480
That's just a great idea.
00:24:57.359 --> 00:24:57.519
Thank you.
00:24:57.839 --> 00:24:58.880
That's a great idea.
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:01.680
Ranger, that's that's the smartest thing ever.
00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:06.079
You know, you could have grabbed him, but like there's a chance he swiggles out.
00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:08.240
He gets out of there like he's a slippery fish.
00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:12.079
Yeah, you know what you're doing.
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:15.200
You you know what what a grip of a man feels like.
00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:16.240
You know how to do it right.
00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:17.839
You know just where to throw yourself.
00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:18.400
That's smart.
00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:18.799
I like that.
00:25:19.039 --> 00:25:19.599
I'm pretty good.
00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:21.359
They don't call me Ranger Danger for nothing.
00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:22.559
Is this dangerous, you think?
00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:24.079
It's stupid for sure.
00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:27.440
Ranger.
00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:27.920
Yeah.
00:25:28.079 --> 00:25:29.200
How much do you weigh?
00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:30.880
That's very polite.
00:25:31.279 --> 00:25:31.680
Yeah, yeah.
00:25:31.759 --> 00:25:32.319
Come on.
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:33.759
Be nice.
00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:35.519
I don't ask that of you.
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:39.440
I'm kind of fluctuating between 144 and 48 lately.
00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:41.839
Okay, 144 or 148.
00:25:42.079 --> 00:25:43.279
But I'm a half-liver.
00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:45.920
No, I'm just a half elf, so I'm a normal sized person.
00:25:46.160 --> 00:25:47.440
Sorry, what was your question, Greg?
00:25:47.839 --> 00:25:48.880
How much do you weigh?
00:25:49.119 --> 00:25:49.759
148.
00:25:49.920 --> 00:25:50.720
No, 144.
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:52.240
Yeah, 144, a little bit lighter.
00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:54.079
144, it's a good day today.
00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:54.799
Okay, good.
00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:55.440
Okay.
00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:58.240
Go ahead and cast mage hand.
00:25:58.640 --> 00:25:59.680
Okay, cast.
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.640
And the size of this n normal hand appears in front of you.
00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:06.319
What are you having it try to do?
00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:07.839
Wait, normal hand?
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:09.599
Like my own sized hand?
00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:10.559
Yes.
00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:12.400
No, I was gonna make it a bigger hand.
00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:15.839
Does it not I assumed it would be whatever size hand I want, right?
00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:16.880
Does it say?
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:21.200
You know what, for the sake of this idea, I think this does get to be rewarded.
00:26:21.279 --> 00:26:23.279
So you can make this hand as big as you want.
00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:23.839
Okay.
00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:24.160
Nice.
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:27.279
So I basically am casting this and I want to pick myself up.
00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:32.799
Because I only weigh 144, which is actually pretty good for a man my size, half elf my size.
00:26:32.880 --> 00:26:39.920
And I want it to pick me up and hurl me with accuracy to my desired target.
00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:47.440
I will say, in order for you to do this, because normally mage hands can't carry more than 10 pounds.
00:26:47.599 --> 00:26:48.000
Oh no.
00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:57.759
With for for you to make it bigger and to be able to lift it, you will have to use spell slots in order for you to give this hand enough power to throw it, throw yourself over there.
00:26:58.000 --> 00:27:00.480
How many slots do you want me to stick it to?
00:27:00.720 --> 00:27:01.200
What do you have?
00:27:01.359 --> 00:27:04.240
I have two because I used uh detect magic already.
00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:05.039
What level?
00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:06.160
What level of what?
00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:06.799
Oh, first level.
00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:07.599
What level spell slots?
00:27:08.079 --> 00:27:08.400
First level.
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:09.039
First level?
00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:09.599
Okay.
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:15.119
I would say you would need both level one spell slots.
00:27:15.599 --> 00:27:17.440
Like the both ones were Okay.
00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:26.799
So you use all of your spell slots and you take this hand and it grabs you, and you said it want you want it to catapult you.
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:28.480
Yeah, basically, but with accuracy.
00:27:28.720 --> 00:27:29.200
Accuracy.
00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:30.319
Yes, with accuracy.
00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:39.039
Okay, so you want it to trebuchet you over as you trebuchet over this waterfall, you end up right on top of cartoon.
00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:41.759
You splash down with perfect accuracy.
00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:44.400
Okay, I wanted to pull a weapon before I splash down.
00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:45.279
Do I have any weapon?
00:27:45.519 --> 00:27:45.920
That's fine.
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:46.480
Uh you do.
00:27:46.559 --> 00:27:48.480
You have any weapon that you have available to you.
00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:49.519
Oh, perfect.
00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:54.480
Uh I would like to pull my short sword.
00:27:54.640 --> 00:27:54.799
Okay.
00:27:55.920 --> 00:27:56.960
Go my scimitar.
00:27:58.079 --> 00:27:58.400
Okay.
00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:01.359
Oh, because we're in like uh an Arabian type of deal.
00:28:01.519 --> 00:28:02.000
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:02.079 --> 00:28:06.079
Or ooh, actually, it might be better to pull my bow because that actually does more damage.
00:28:06.319 --> 00:28:11.440
I will say bows are you get disadvantaged to hit when you are at close range.
00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:14.559
Oh, well, how far am I when I'm above him?
00:28:14.640 --> 00:28:16.240
What's the highest that the hand threw me?
00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:16.799
You know what?
00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:20.640
I'll say you you with you using two spell slots, you're able to get high.
00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:26.480
You you get very high if you want to, right above him to use your bow without disadvantage.
00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:31.200
I'm gonna use my bow and shoot him from above and then land on him.
00:28:31.519 --> 00:28:31.839
Okay.
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:34.400
Roll to hit with your bow.
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:34.960
Okay.
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:36.960
No way.
00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:37.599
Yep.
00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:38.400
20.
00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:39.200
Nailed it.
00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:47.920
Grant's like, uh the podcast just got shortened by five.
00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:48.400
It did.
00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:49.359
Ten weeks.
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:50.160
It did.
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:55.119
No, a lot, a lot's gonna happen.
00:28:55.200 --> 00:28:57.759
Uh okay, Shane.
00:28:58.640 --> 00:28:59.920
This is very important.
00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:03.519
Tell me what you do while you're in the air.
00:29:03.680 --> 00:29:05.119
Because you haven't landed on him yet.
00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:06.240
Have I shot him yet?
00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:07.920
So you shot him.
00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:08.319
Okay.
00:29:08.480 --> 00:29:09.920
How what's your plan here?
00:29:10.079 --> 00:29:12.960
Like how how have you executed this shot?
00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:14.240
So I I drew an arrow.
00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:15.920
Very it's it looked really cool.
00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:19.759
Imagine it in slow motion, but I drew arrow shot him, and I'm in the air.
00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:21.359
It hit, I assume it hits him.
00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:22.319
We haven't figured out.
00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:23.119
It does.
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:24.480
It 100% hits him.
00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:26.240
I'm asking how how do you want to do this?
00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:30.240
Uh so as I'm falling, I yell camp park here.
00:29:31.119 --> 00:29:33.440
Uh because I like that meme.
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:35.920
Uh as it's been going around.
00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:40.640
And uh as I'm falling, uh, you know, I make note of where the arrow is.
00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:42.160
I don't want to run into that.
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:46.000
Uh am I capable of drawing a short sword as I'm falling?
00:29:46.160 --> 00:29:46.960
Am I allowed to switch?
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:48.240
Oh, yeah, it's a mat 20.
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:48.559
You can.
00:29:48.880 --> 00:29:50.799
Okay, so I draw my short sword.
00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:52.880
You can do quite a bit with this shape.
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:53.599
Yeah, I can.
00:29:53.680 --> 00:29:54.000
Yeah.
00:29:54.160 --> 00:29:55.279
Don't you worry.
00:29:55.440 --> 00:29:59.599
Uh I pull my short sword, which is a perfectly fine size.
00:29:59.759 --> 00:30:01.359
Uh it glistens in the sun.
00:30:01.680 --> 00:30:10.480
I put it in my teeth, and then like Travis Pastrana, I uh take my boots off and sling them around like this.
00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:12.480
Is this all while you're falling?
00:30:13.359 --> 00:30:18.319
And I put them back on my feet just because it's a cool thing to do.
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:29.359
I rotate in the air, I look back at my bros, my uh my uh my sand dune bros, and uh I go thumbs up.
00:30:30.160 --> 00:30:33.680
I backflip uh while I'm doing this.
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:37.359
Now I'm going like a I'm gonna belly flop.
00:30:37.519 --> 00:30:51.440
And then right before, right before I hit the water, I do a can opener on his back and shove the blade in uh in his uh spinal column between his head and his back.
00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:52.400
Damn.
00:30:53.279 --> 00:30:55.599
I'm not even gonna make you roll damage for this.
00:30:55.839 --> 00:30:56.400
Oh, good.
00:30:56.720 --> 00:31:02.720
As you hold the phone, no, I I do need to roll a couple of things here because you're falling.
00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:05.599
Alright, roll one.
00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:10.480
Oh, look at that asshole.
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:12.319
I know, baby.
00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:14.319
You're talking about Shane or the cat?
00:31:16.880 --> 00:31:43.599
Okay, as you can opener right into this guy's neck with your short sword diving into it, you feel his body go limp as he goes, ah, and that's all he's able to muster before his vocal cries start to become gargled and a gurgled mess of blood and liquid and viscera.
00:31:43.839 --> 00:31:54.160
And as you as your speed stops as you hit the water and the water slows you down, the crystal clear water starts to get a tainted deeper dark red.
00:31:54.319 --> 00:32:06.720
As you have done this, the mermaid in the center of the rock springs up, and you notice that this mermaid has an instant look of anger and terror all in one.
00:32:06.960 --> 00:32:11.279
And as she springs up, she's like full 12 feet, sprung up.
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:24.240
Her hair suddenly starts to turn into snakes, and you notice around all the palm trees around you and all the cacti start to dissipate.
00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:25.920
Oh, Jesus.
00:32:26.240 --> 00:32:47.279
As it slowly starts to dissipate, you look down at the body that you have just massacred and pile driven, and it starts to slowly evaporate before you, and the key that was around his neck as you go to grab slowly disappears.
00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:56.799
And you look back at the 18-wheeler, all three of you, and you see Carn sitting in the cab.
00:32:57.119 --> 00:33:01.519
That's bullshit, twirling his finger with the key around it.
00:33:01.839 --> 00:33:03.519
That's all you ever do, Grant.
00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:05.839
It's none of it's real.
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:08.400
None of what we ever do is real if you don't want it to be.
00:33:08.480 --> 00:33:09.279
This is bullshit.
00:33:09.759 --> 00:33:13.920
Hey, Ranger, that was just that was cool, even though it wasn't real.
00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:17.279
The Gorgon.
00:33:17.599 --> 00:33:18.480
Is it cheese?
00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:19.759
Gorgon New York.
00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:22.160
Well, her name is Zola.
00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:32.079
Uh the the Gorgon looks on all three of you and says, Illusion magic really is the best.
00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:33.279
Oh, yeah, I forgot about it.
00:33:33.759 --> 00:33:37.920
And with that, we will end our show.
00:33:38.240 --> 00:33:38.960
Damn.
00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:40.079
Fuck you.
00:33:42.480 --> 00:33:45.039
That does it for another episode of Comedy and Dice.
00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:46.640
Thank you so much for listening.
00:33:46.720 --> 00:33:47.839
We really appreciate it.
00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:51.519
If you want to support directly, please check us out on Patreon.
00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:54.640
That is patreon.com slash comedyand dice.
00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:58.640
Patreon.com slash comedy, the letter in dice.
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:00.000
Thank you to our cast.
00:34:00.079 --> 00:34:02.160
I have been Tyler Wood playing AIE.
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:09.840
We have Grant Janik as our incomparable dungeon master, Shane Smith as Ranger, always in danger, and Mark Brady as John Lake.
00:34:10.079 --> 00:34:16.320
Thank you to Lisa Corello for playing the narrator, and thank you to DD Spuggers, aka Tim White.
00:34:16.559 --> 00:34:23.920
You can find him on all social media at DD Spuggers for providing us this wonderful backing music you hear each and every week.
00:34:24.079 --> 00:34:25.679
A little bit of a short one this week.
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:34.079
Everybody was pretty busy, but we were able to carve out some time to meet up on a Discord call because we didn't want to miss a week of bringing you guys your favorite podcast.
00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:35.920
At least top 10, I hope.
00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:37.119
Doesn't need to be your favorite.
00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:45.119
But we really appreciate you listening either way, and we didn't want you to miss out on any of the fun of this Mad Max saga.
00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:50.559
And get ready because this is just the second of the three May episodes.
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:53.760
We have the next one coming to you on May 27th.
00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:54.639
Don't miss it.
00:34:54.800 --> 00:34:56.239
We'll see you back here then.
00:35:03.119 --> 00:35:04.320
Did you know it sucked?
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:12.960
Uh yeah, I was I was five minutes from your place, and then I saw Shane calling the Discord or some the Discord going off, and I go, oh fuck.
00:35:13.360 --> 00:35:16.800
I almost suggested you just go and do it with Tyler and sit next to him.
00:35:17.039 --> 00:35:17.519
I almost did.
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:21.519
I almost was like, I'll just sit next to him and then we can be in the same room.
00:35:21.599 --> 00:35:26.079
But uh he didn't want to hang out with Tyler alone on my birthday.
00:35:26.639 --> 00:35:28.320
I was I was at food line.
00:35:28.480 --> 00:35:30.480
I was at food line, I was buying cupcakes.
00:35:30.639 --> 00:35:32.239
I was buying cupcakes for our birthday.
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:33.360
Now you gotta eat those.
00:35:33.599 --> 00:35:34.239
Oh no.
00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:36.320
I think I still have the uh hold on.
00:35:36.559 --> 00:35:37.840
Yeah, I bought cupcakes too.
00:35:38.079 --> 00:35:39.039
You'll never know.
00:35:45.920 --> 00:35:46.400
Anyway.
00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:48.559
No, we can't do it.
00:35:48.639 --> 00:35:49.039
We can't do it.
00:35:49.599 --> 00:35:50.239
That's so nice of you.
00:35:50.480 --> 00:35:51.440
But it's the thought, right?
00:35:51.519 --> 00:35:52.079
It's the thought.
00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:52.400
Yeah.
00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:55.039
I like that he doesn't have the cupcakes anywhere near him.
00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:56.800
It means the girls already ate.
00:35:58.639 --> 00:35:59.440
Well, they're downstairs.
00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:01.679
I wasn't gonna bring up here for myself.
00:36:02.639 --> 00:36:04.480
Yeah, Mark doesn't eat like that.
00:36:05.360 --> 00:36:05.679
He doesn't.
00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:11.039
I was in food line and you and you called, and I go, Well, I don't have to buy cupcakes.
00:00:00.800 --> 00:00:03.359
I've been on this desert road for miles.
00:00:04.320 --> 00:00:05.360
I could really use some gas.
00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:06.959
Maybe a couple snacks.
00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:09.279
Oh, next gas station, a mile ahead.
00:00:09.839 --> 00:00:10.240
Good to know.
00:00:10.880 --> 00:00:13.199
I think I'll just pull over here.
00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:15.599
Huh.
00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:20.800
I'm sure there's another one up the road.
00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:30.960
Hello everyone, and welcome to the next episode of Comedy and Dice.
00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:32.000
My name is Tyler Wood.
00:00:32.079 --> 00:00:36.079
I play AIE the Barbarian, Ericakra level three.
00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:37.439
He's a father.
00:00:37.759 --> 00:00:44.399
He is a part of the mafia, and he is currently with his friends in a dune buggy, ready to go.
00:00:44.560 --> 00:00:51.119
And usually to my left, but now above me in the Discord call, is Hi, I'm Grant Janik.
00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:51.920
I am your DM.
00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:57.280
DM, of course, stands for Dirty Mop and also stands for Dungeon Master.
00:00:57.520 --> 00:00:58.719
I am the world.
00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:06.560
And usually to my left, but also uh according to my screen, I'm in the correct rotation and everyone else is too.
00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:10.879
So to my left is the amazing and lovable.
00:01:11.359 --> 00:01:11.920
Who's doing it?
00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:12.719
It's always you, Mark.
00:01:13.280 --> 00:01:14.799
Oh, it's not me.
00:01:15.040 --> 00:01:17.280
And um, yeah, that other space was mine.
00:01:17.359 --> 00:01:19.040
It's uh Mark Brady.
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:20.319
I am John Lick.
00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:23.280
I am a halfling druid dog.
00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:25.519
Irish setter now.
00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:30.159
Uh accent got switched up and uh you're a Scottish Terrier.
00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:31.040
Right, yes.
00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:32.000
What did I say?
00:01:32.319 --> 00:01:33.200
Irish setter.
00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:34.159
Oh, yeah.
00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:36.400
Scottish Terrier, right.
00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:36.560
Yeah.
00:01:36.879 --> 00:01:41.680
Yeah, an Irish setter is a volleyball player who just sets the spikes.
00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:42.959
All right.
00:01:43.120 --> 00:01:44.879
That's gonna not make it in.
00:01:46.159 --> 00:01:46.959
It has to.
00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:59.040
And then uh, of course, uh last but not least, um, one of the whole the whole gang's favorite, I think.
00:01:59.359 --> 00:02:01.680
And this is where Shane's intro usually goes.
00:02:01.760 --> 00:02:07.120
He is Ranger Danger, a half-elf Ranger, and his audio dropped.
00:02:07.439 --> 00:02:13.680
So I'm just inserting this for him uh because it is way too late to be asking him to re-record.
00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:24.879
We had a little bit of a technical difficulty, some of the fun of recording remotely, but we got it figured out, and even though we lost some of Shane's recording, we were able to sync back up and restart the episode.
00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:27.280
Hey Grant, I have a question.
00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:28.400
I have an answer.
00:02:28.719 --> 00:02:29.280
Where are we?
00:02:29.360 --> 00:02:30.080
What are we doing?
00:02:30.319 --> 00:02:34.000
Yes! Well, big episode last time.
00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:54.879
When we last left off, you guys had entered back into the world of Dunkel Sprout, but it was not as it all seems, as the cutesy fun, pink, Katy Perry-filled world of Dunkel Sprout has been mad-maxified as the author has taken Dunkel Sprout because you know where the plot hole is originally.
00:02:54.960 --> 00:02:58.159
It's up in Meaniburg Hill in Meaniburg Castle.
00:02:58.719 --> 00:03:08.159
And your goal is to just get to the castle and get to the plot hole, but he created this hellscape of a world, just sand dunes.
00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:20.719
Uh, and speaking of sand dunes, unluckily, you guys do not have to walk on this sand dune because you have a buggy that you guys have used some scrap metal to make into your very own Mad Max mobile.
00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:29.120
The upgrades that you have put on it so far is like a cow plate or whatever it's called, basically the cow catcher.
00:03:29.360 --> 00:03:32.400
The cowcatcher, uh, the V on the top of the buggy.
00:03:32.479 --> 00:03:38.400
You also have fortified it with walls, and then you also took some spikes on the bottom of it.
00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:42.800
So you have two on the front wheels, two on the back wheels, and then two on the sides.
00:03:43.120 --> 00:03:48.879
That being said, you also did something very important, very plot-related.
00:03:49.120 --> 00:04:07.120
Before you went into the book, uh AI took his feather and pricked Ranger for some blood and wrote in chapter 20, the key, wrote, the key is in chapter four, which happens to be where you guys are right now.
00:04:07.840 --> 00:04:12.560
That being said, now you guys are following this map, Doom Buggy in tow.
00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:17.439
You have two more stops until you make it to Meanie Berg Hill.
00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:29.600
The two stops on the map are one, looks like sort of a pool area, more of like a pool of water pond-esque, and then another one is just a deep hole, and then you're at Meaniburg Hill.
00:04:29.920 --> 00:04:36.079
But be sure to be going quick because you have some people in hot pursuit.
00:04:36.319 --> 00:04:39.360
You guys did not see who was in hot pursuit behind you.
00:04:39.439 --> 00:04:42.079
You just knew that you are being chased.
00:04:42.240 --> 00:04:54.720
So, with that, we'll pick up on you guys traveling on your way along this curvy road as you are traveling to the pond, the next area of fucking interest.
00:04:55.040 --> 00:04:55.600
There you go.
00:04:55.680 --> 00:04:55.920
Thanks.
00:04:56.160 --> 00:04:58.800
There's an award-winning linguistics.
00:04:59.360 --> 00:05:03.360
I have to be going quick, quick going, quickly.
00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:05.920
We grant, you're the best.
00:05:06.240 --> 00:05:06.800
Thanks.
00:05:06.959 --> 00:05:07.439
Thanks.
00:05:07.519 --> 00:05:12.000
I I I had therapy today, so it's I'm ready to go.
00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:14.399
I got told like I'm ready to quit.
00:05:14.639 --> 00:05:15.519
No, no joke.
00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:16.800
I got told today in therapy.
00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:18.720
He was like, hey, I think you may be depressed.
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:22.560
I was like, oh, he was he was right.
00:05:22.959 --> 00:05:24.720
He was just he just told you that.
00:05:24.800 --> 00:05:26.319
Well, how long have you been seeing this guy?
00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:27.920
Oh, a couple years.
00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:31.759
I got sober with him too, and we're just learning this now.
00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:35.600
Yeah, I would have thought that would have been one of my first guesses.
00:05:36.480 --> 00:05:38.079
Hey, Grant, you know what would help?
00:05:38.240 --> 00:05:40.079
Well, another trip to Disney.
00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:42.240
Oh, we're planning it.
00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:46.079
Uh oh, but there so with that, we pick up with you guys.
00:05:47.519 --> 00:05:50.399
We pick up with you guys rolling along the sand dunes.
00:05:50.560 --> 00:05:54.720
Who is who was the last person to drive, I believe?
00:05:54.879 --> 00:05:57.600
Because you guys had gotten out to fill the gas.
00:05:57.839 --> 00:06:02.480
So I set the gas station on fire, so I might as well be the person driving.
00:06:02.560 --> 00:06:04.319
I'll I will take responsibility for that one.
00:06:04.560 --> 00:06:04.879
All right.
00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:06.959
So then Mark, you're in the back with the kids.
00:06:07.040 --> 00:06:07.360
Yep.
00:06:07.600 --> 00:06:11.680
Okay, it's it's just you, and then who has the worm?
00:06:11.759 --> 00:06:13.199
Who has the bookworm?
00:06:13.519 --> 00:06:14.639
Nobody, everybody hates him.
00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:15.759
All right, you left him.
00:06:15.839 --> 00:06:17.839
He's he's left fine.
00:06:18.319 --> 00:06:20.079
Uh I'll keep him.
00:06:20.160 --> 00:06:24.319
I'll keep him with me because if he pisses me off, it's something I can snack on.
00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:24.959
All right.
00:06:25.199 --> 00:06:30.480
So, with that in mind, we're gonna pick up with you guys just traveling along this dune buggy.
00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:34.639
Grant is looks like he's riding a horse or something else.
00:06:38.160 --> 00:06:40.399
You're a bit jovial when you ride a dick, Grant.
00:06:40.480 --> 00:06:41.600
That's that's interesting to know.
00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:43.120
It's a great place to be.
00:06:43.199 --> 00:06:44.240
I'm happy to be there.
00:06:44.639 --> 00:06:46.720
Yeah, you don't like depressed at all, actually.
00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:49.759
No, it's where the G-spot is, man.
00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:53.600
I think he rides a dick, like he rides the teacups at Disney World, like, ha!
00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:57.680
I spin the same way too on it.
00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:01.920
Okay, so we're we're heading down.
00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:03.759
What do I see out the the windshield?
00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:08.160
So out the windshield, currently, you see just it's more sand.
00:07:08.240 --> 00:07:12.000
There's it's winding up and down as it continuously goes.
00:07:12.319 --> 00:07:20.720
I will say also, you guys keep periodically looking back in the weird view mirror just to see whoever's chasing you.
00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:22.319
You can't see who's chasing you.
00:07:22.480 --> 00:07:27.839
All you see is dust of somebody continuously following you.
00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:31.920
You can't figure out what it is, but you can tell that something is in fact following you.
00:07:32.240 --> 00:07:36.560
I put my left arm out the side of the dune buggy.
00:07:36.639 --> 00:07:45.199
I assume there's a hole there where I can just like put my hand out, and I'm going to angle it in such a way that it does not hit the dune buggy, but it does go onto the ground.
00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:55.920
I'm going to spray as much as I can, as often as I can, from my cantrip of acid splash onto the sand.
00:07:56.079 --> 00:07:58.160
So we all know liquid keeps well on sand.
00:07:58.399 --> 00:07:59.279
Okay, yeah.
00:07:59.600 --> 00:08:05.199
You are doing that as you cast acid splash, it's creating these bubbles.
00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:13.120
So it's not a continuous stream, but it's a giant bubble glop, a giant bubble glop, a giant bubble glop.
00:08:13.439 --> 00:08:23.279
So as you are periodically doing that, you continue along this map, and you see in the horizon, you start to see silhouettes of trees.
00:08:23.439 --> 00:08:26.319
I'd say more of the palm variety.
00:08:26.639 --> 00:08:27.040
Alright.
00:08:27.360 --> 00:08:28.560
The palm variety.
00:08:29.279 --> 00:08:30.319
Am I following the map?
00:08:30.399 --> 00:08:31.120
What do I see on the map?
00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:32.240
You are you are following the map.
00:08:32.639 --> 00:08:33.840
Is there a road we're following?
00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:36.000
There's not really a road.
00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:51.039
It's more so a loose path, but you can tell using the map, like there's giant hills of sand dunes that you would not be able to use to get like use the dune buggy to get up.
00:08:51.120 --> 00:08:53.519
So you can use that we're going in between some of them.
00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:58.559
You're going in between some of them, you're able to use them as landmarks in comparison to the map.
00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:15.519
So you can tell that you are on path to the next part of this place, this desert, uh, and you can tell that these palm trees are signifying that you are getting closer and closer to your intended destination.
00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:17.200
Alright, let's go to the pool.
00:09:17.440 --> 00:09:18.399
Fast travel.
00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:28.960
So as you approach the pool, the the palm trees start to get more and more like palm tree-ish.
00:09:29.200 --> 00:09:30.080
They're they're not hands.
00:09:31.519 --> 00:09:34.720
They they start to appear more and more often.
00:09:35.039 --> 00:09:45.919
And you start to notice that you pass a palm tree, pass another palm tree, then you pass a cactus, which is the first time you've kind of seen vegetation in this area.
00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:51.840
As you continue more and more, you see more and more cacti appear, and some of them have red flowers budding.
00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:56.399
As you continue onward, you start to see now grass is spurting up here and there.
00:09:56.559 --> 00:09:57.440
Very sparse.
00:09:57.600 --> 00:10:07.120
It's not like outside, not outside grass, it's not like you know, patches uh and fields of grass, but it's patches, it's small pricks here and there.
00:10:07.360 --> 00:10:08.480
It's not outside grass.
00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:09.679
No, it's inside grass.
00:10:09.759 --> 00:10:11.440
It's like a it's it's a Christmas tree.
00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:12.559
Yeah, it's turf.
00:10:12.639 --> 00:10:13.919
It's astroturf.
00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:24.320
Uh as you continue along as well, you start to notice that the air has shifted from a dry heat to a humidity heat.
00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:28.960
And I would say here everybody roll perception.
00:10:29.759 --> 00:10:30.240
14.
00:10:30.639 --> 00:10:31.200
11.
00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:32.000
18.
00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:45.279
Okay, with uh an 18, John and AI, you guys do not know this, but Ranger, you are able to sense that something is kind of caddy wampous with these trees.
00:10:45.440 --> 00:10:46.720
Something's a little afoot.
00:10:46.799 --> 00:10:52.799
You can't put your finger on it, but as you whiz by, something's going a little bit wonky with these.
00:10:53.120 --> 00:10:53.360
Alright.
00:10:53.600 --> 00:10:58.879
You guys, there's something up with this forest of pine, maybe palmetto trees.
00:10:59.120 --> 00:11:00.480
What are you talking about?
00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:01.600
It feels wrong.
00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:02.799
It just doesn't feel right.
00:11:02.879 --> 00:11:04.080
It said it just doesn't feel right.
00:11:04.159 --> 00:11:04.720
I'm feeling it.
00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:10.399
You know how, like, right when you're about to pass out and everything starts to go black around your eyes, it feels like that.
00:11:10.720 --> 00:11:11.279
Yeah.
00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:11.679
Okay.
00:11:12.480 --> 00:11:13.039
Do I need to stop?
00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:13.759
What do I need to do?
00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:14.240
Keep going.
00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:17.440
No, I'm gonna I'm gonna I wanna uh do detect magic.
00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:33.600
Okay, as you cast detect magic, you are able to discern that there is indeed a magical presence around you, and the magical school is school of illusion.
00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:34.879
Ooh, okay.
00:11:36.159 --> 00:11:38.159
Oh, can you illus illusion now?
00:11:38.480 --> 00:11:42.399
Can you think I just know it's from the school of illusion?
00:11:42.879 --> 00:11:44.000
Unfortunately.
00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:46.639
But uh, y'all, this is an illusion.
00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:47.840
All this is fake.
00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:50.320
You know, this for this forest of palm trees.
00:11:50.480 --> 00:11:53.679
You know how I say we're living the simulation, and you're like, whatever.
00:11:53.840 --> 00:11:55.120
This is it feels like this.
00:11:55.200 --> 00:11:57.440
It's all like I don't think these trees are real.
00:11:57.519 --> 00:12:00.080
I think this is uh I think I think it's a mirage.
00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:00.879
It's a mirage.
00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:03.840
Ooh, that's what that's the phrase, especially for a whole lot of the room.
00:12:08.639 --> 00:12:10.080
Well, what do we do?
00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:11.200
Do we keep going?
00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:13.919
There's people you know coming behind us here.
00:12:14.399 --> 00:12:14.879
Oh, yeah.
00:12:14.960 --> 00:12:15.840
How should we do that?
00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:22.000
Maybe we maybe we stop and and and let them pass and see what happens.
00:12:22.240 --> 00:12:25.120
Yeah, we we go like Scooby-Doo, like behind the tree.
00:12:25.360 --> 00:12:29.279
We have a big long car and it's not that wide of a tree, and we go behind it and we disappear.
00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:29.919
Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:33.840
And then they go by and then we come out the other side, like all along.
00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:35.600
Like, oh, you know what?
00:12:35.759 --> 00:12:39.440
I'm gonna uh I'm gonna cast a fog cloud when they come by.
00:12:39.519 --> 00:12:42.720
That way we hide ourselves, they don't see us.
00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:43.519
That's smart.
00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:44.080
That's smart.
00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:45.039
Yeah, that's right.
00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:45.519
That's right.
00:12:45.600 --> 00:12:51.519
We'll just be just be a giant inconspicuous cloud of fog right in the middle of this mirage.
00:12:51.840 --> 00:12:53.919
Yeah, well, I mean, who knows?
00:12:54.399 --> 00:13:04.639
They couldn't see us, so uh let me see how how much I can cast 30 feet cube uh cube of fog that's okay.
00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:08.000
Uh 20 feet?
00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:09.440
So what if I do it a bunch?
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:13.360
What if I just keep going casting all over the place?
00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:14.799
I'm like, oh yeah.
00:13:15.679 --> 00:13:17.519
What fucking accent do you have right now?
00:13:20.799 --> 00:13:24.080
I can I can do it uh uh a bunch of times.
00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:27.440
Is it a cantrip or is it uh it's a first level?
00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:30.480
How many how many spell slots do you have available to cast fog?
00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:35.679
You would have reset since we actually I don't know what did you cast any spells last week?
00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:37.840
He casted fog to get away.
00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:41.600
Okay, yeah, I only got one one spell I like.
00:13:42.559 --> 00:13:44.320
Please do use up one of your slots.
00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:46.799
Ooh, I have mold earth.
00:13:47.039 --> 00:13:54.000
What I can mold earth, make us a little uh a little a little place we can hide behind Scooby-do it.
00:13:54.240 --> 00:13:55.279
I thought you said mold orf.
00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:57.519
I was like, oh, is it a Lord of the Rings podcast?
00:13:57.759 --> 00:13:58.639
That's what I want to do.
00:13:58.799 --> 00:13:59.360
Let's get out.
00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:00.000
Let's do it.
00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:02.240
Actually, you don't have to get out just in case.
00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:08.159
Yeah, mold earth is a cantrip, so you can do this as many times as you want.
00:14:08.399 --> 00:14:08.559
Nice.
00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:10.240
Molding sand.
00:14:10.559 --> 00:14:12.559
It's yeah, that's that's part of earth.
00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:13.759
Yeah, you can do that.
00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:14.639
Mold earth.
00:14:14.960 --> 00:14:24.080
If it's not wet, it's just gonna like you choose a portion of dirt or stone that you can see within range that fits within a five-foot cube.
00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:30.720
If you target an area of loose earth, you can instantly excavate it, or you can make it difficult terrain.
00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:31.279
Alright.
00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:40.480
I I'm going to make mold the sand into an arrow point that we're gonna hide behind.
00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:45.360
And it's gonna be going pointing towards uh the way we're going.
00:14:45.679 --> 00:14:47.120
Can you smart?
00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:48.480
You have fire, right?
00:14:48.639 --> 00:14:49.919
Yeah, some type of fire.
00:14:51.919 --> 00:14:53.200
Uh no, I don't think I do.
00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:54.080
I think Shane does.
00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:54.639
Do I?
00:14:54.879 --> 00:15:02.639
What if you you take the sand and you mold it into like an arrow shape, and then Shane, you use fire and make it into glass.
00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:05.279
That way you have a giant glass arrow.
00:15:05.679 --> 00:15:08.639
Well, it's not a it's not like a two-way mirror.
00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:14.720
Yeah, he's trying to make a big arrow for you to hide behind, not like.
00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:16.960
I'm sorry, you're still Looney Tunes.
00:15:17.200 --> 00:15:22.080
You're still Looney Tunes, and I'm thinking you have an actual like arrow that you're gonna pull back.
00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:28.559
If you made it glass, you they would just see the dune buggy behind the arrow.
00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:35.679
Where would they go?
00:15:37.039 --> 00:15:37.759
Oh, they're right there.
00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:39.200
They're behind that glass.
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:43.120
But the arrow's pointing, so they know that we went into the place.
00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:44.639
So it's a distraction.
00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:48.240
That's not a bad idea for making arrows in the future.
00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:49.919
Oh, yeah, for sure.
00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:50.480
Yeah.
00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:54.320
So what what's the plan that we're going with here?
00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:57.679
I'm gonna defer to my my my two animated friends on this one.
00:15:57.759 --> 00:15:59.200
They seem to have this down.
00:15:59.440 --> 00:16:03.200
I'm gonna mold Earth uh into uh just enough to cover.
00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:09.919
So I don't want it to obviously be like a sheet, but I'm it's it's like a gradual, just kind of blanket, if you will.
00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:14.559
Okay, so you're creating more or less like a uh more of the dune.
00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:16.240
You're making it look more duney.
00:16:16.559 --> 00:16:17.200
More duney.
00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:26.000
I will say um I'll let you pick whichever one you want.
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:31.519
You can either do this as a sleight of hand check or a nature check.
00:16:31.919 --> 00:16:34.639
Oh, uh what?
00:16:34.879 --> 00:16:37.039
I don't even do I have those?
00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:39.840
Those are two skills that everyone has, yeah.
00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:40.559
Right.
00:16:40.720 --> 00:16:43.679
Uh I will do sleight of hand.
00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:45.120
15.
00:16:45.360 --> 00:16:46.000
15.
00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:49.840
You do it just in the nick of time.
00:16:50.080 --> 00:16:55.279
So so you're able to create effectively what you want to make.
00:16:55.440 --> 00:17:02.320
Tell me exactly how you're hiding behind it so I can narrate because it's gonna it's gonna affect a lot.
00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:05.279
Okay, well, we're we're are we're still in the car, right?
00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:08.559
Because we at first we were like, we're gonna get out, and then we're like, well, that's dumb.
00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:09.759
Because if we're hiding.
00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:23.039
So it's really just we're all in the car, and then uh from like the top of it, it's just kind of hilly, and then on its way down to kind of blend in to the bottom.
00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:27.680
Okay, so it's more or less completely covered by sand.
00:17:28.079 --> 00:17:28.480
Yeah.
00:17:28.799 --> 00:17:36.480
Are we talking like from left to right igloo style, or you're more hiding behind like a big mound?
00:17:36.880 --> 00:17:37.519
Nice.
00:17:37.839 --> 00:17:40.720
More more of hiding behind a big mound.
00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:41.440
Hell yeah.
00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:42.319
Than an igloo.
00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:42.480
Okay.
00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:44.160
That's all I want for my birthday.
00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:44.880
A big mound.
00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:46.720
Well, hiding behind a big mound.
00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:47.519
Yeah.
00:17:47.759 --> 00:17:48.480
Hell yeah.
00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:51.200
You don't want that left to right igloo style, don't you?
00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:53.519
No, no, that's too advanced for me.
00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:55.839
I'd break it, it would be good.
00:17:58.079 --> 00:17:58.400
Okay.
00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:06.640
So you are able to make this big hill that you pull the van around, and everybody roll perception.
00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:13.599
Roll it with disadvantage because there isn't specifically places for you guys to look out to see at who's following you.
00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:15.519
Oh fuck.
00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:17.680
Disadvantage, I got five.
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:20.079
I got a six.
00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:21.279
Two.
00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:21.920
Okay.
00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:28.640
All you can hear is the roaring sound of one engine.
00:18:28.799 --> 00:18:29.200
Is it going?
00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:34.559
And then you hear a multitude of tires.
00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:35.839
Multitude.
00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:37.680
A multitude of tires.
00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:39.839
Can I get a definition, Judge?
00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:42.160
Yeah, there is more than one.
00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:44.000
Oh my god, a bicycle.
00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:45.359
Oh my god.
00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:46.400
You guys hear that?
00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:47.599
It sounds like a bicycle.
00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:48.400
Yeah.
00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:58.000
And then you hear it go and then it goes as it speeds away.
00:18:58.240 --> 00:19:02.240
And it goes in the direction of the pool.
00:19:02.559 --> 00:19:03.759
The arrow worked.
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:05.759
So do we see do we see it?
00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:08.319
Like how how far away is it?
00:19:08.400 --> 00:19:10.880
And like, when do we when do you guys want to go?
00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:12.480
You know, we got to time this a little bit.
00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:13.920
Because I want to see what happens to them.
00:19:14.079 --> 00:19:15.039
Oh, they're gonna keep going.
00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:16.160
I kind of want to keep my eye on it.
00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:18.000
I don't think so.
00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:19.440
I don't think we've got any binoculars.
00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:21.359
Oh no, can we see can we see them from here?
00:19:21.599 --> 00:19:22.960
I can make some out of glass.
00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:24.079
Yeah, we could.
00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:25.039
No, that'd be stupid.
00:19:25.119 --> 00:19:26.240
Let's make more arrows.
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:34.000
Um so we can't see them from here.
00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:35.200
You can't see them from here.
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:36.160
They've already sped off.
00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:37.920
And there's nothing, no one behind them.
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:41.279
It's just it's there, from what you can see.
00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:43.680
Uh I won't even make you roll perception for this.
00:19:43.759 --> 00:19:44.720
There's no one behind them.
00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:48.400
This is the person that was chasing you, and they have continued on forward.
00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:53.359
Okay, let's uh Well, there's only that we're kind of fucked because that's the road we gotta go down.
00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:53.839
True.
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:55.200
But I'd rather be behind them.
00:19:55.279 --> 00:19:56.079
I think that's fine.
00:19:56.240 --> 00:19:57.200
That's right here.
00:19:58.559 --> 00:19:59.920
I want to see what happens to them.
00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:02.000
Rather have a bottle in front of me.
00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:09.519
Shane said they'd rather be in front of us, and it reminds me of that thing where I've had it in my head a lot recently.
00:20:09.680 --> 00:20:12.720
I'd rather have a bottle.
00:20:12.880 --> 00:20:14.319
Would you rather have a bottle?
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:14.880
Fuck.
00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:17.599
Would I rather have a bottle in front of me or a frontal lobotomy?
00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:18.319
Ooh.
00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:18.960
Oh.
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:19.759
Yeah.
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:20.799
Hell yeah.
00:20:21.039 --> 00:20:21.440
Both.
00:20:21.599 --> 00:20:22.400
Uh fuck you guys.
00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:24.079
I'm cutting it from the podcast.
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:28.160
Looks like I never bomb.
00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:31.279
Hilarious.
00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:33.759
How how often we we're at a fog cloud?
00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:35.680
Uh, Ranger, you got any cantrips?
00:20:35.839 --> 00:20:36.960
Oh, let's see what I got.
00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:37.599
I have.
00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:40.880
Oh, I have control flames, but I can't produce flames.
00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:41.839
I have firebolt.
00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:43.359
Yeah, I have produced flames.
00:20:43.680 --> 00:20:44.319
Mage hand.
00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:45.279
What does this do?
00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:52.960
A spectra floating hand that appears at a point you choose, and the hand will hand job you for the duration.
00:20:53.279 --> 00:21:05.039
Oh, what if we uh we drive by, but you're casting uh mage hand if you see them, and you're given like a thumbs up to show that we're not conspicuous or anything, like we're good to go.
00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:05.759
That's a good idea.
00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:07.680
Yeah, yeah, that because that'll throw them off.
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:08.319
All right, let's do it.
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:09.279
We're driving we're driving yet.
00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:09.759
Let's get in.
00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:10.240
Who's driving?
00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:10.640
You're driving.
00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:11.839
I'm driving.
00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:16.960
I take off, I go at a moderate pace towards the direction that we saw them take off.
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:17.599
What do we see?
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:18.160
Okay.
00:21:18.319 --> 00:21:26.480
As you continue onward, the trees start to get more and more dense, the humidity starts to gain more and more humid.
00:21:26.640 --> 00:21:28.559
As you know, more and more humid.
00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:28.880
Nice.
00:21:29.119 --> 00:21:52.240
Yes, as you continue onward, you reach an opening where you see a vast oasis, you see a pool of water, and in the very center is a rock, a very flat stone, and coiled up on that stone, you see a mermaid just J chillin' on it.
00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:59.759
And as you continue looking onward, you see to the left of the doughnut esque oasis, you see.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:22.880
A giant 18-wheeler rig that is currently not on, engine not running, and walking towards the mermaid in the center, getting ready to start swimming, is a very scarred, tathered, beat-up cartoon the mare.
00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:32.000
And as he starts stumbling forward, he removes his shirt to start swimming.
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:41.200
And as he removes his shirt, you see around his neck a shining and glistening key.
00:22:41.759 --> 00:22:47.359
And he dives into the water and starts swimming towards the mermaid.
00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:49.680
Does anybody have anything to fucks with water?
00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:51.200
Yep.
00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:55.200
First of all, did you guys see that how long that mermaid was?
00:22:55.440 --> 00:22:56.480
She was coiled up.
00:22:56.640 --> 00:22:57.680
She's coiled up on that.
00:22:58.640 --> 00:22:59.440
I've never swimming.
00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:04.160
I've never seen such a long mermaid.
00:23:04.400 --> 00:23:07.279
It's gotta be the longest one I've ever seen.
00:23:08.640 --> 00:23:11.279
It's gonna be at least 12 foot up.
00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:12.160
At least.
00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:14.960
Now you're Australian.
00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:18.160
That's great.
00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:19.200
Crikey.
00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:20.000
Crikey.
00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:22.799
I have create or destroy water.
00:23:23.119 --> 00:23:23.839
I can destroy.
00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:25.839
Can I get rid of it while he's in there?
00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:31.599
And then he's just in the bottom of a big pool.
00:23:31.839 --> 00:23:34.319
Yeah, that he looks like an idiot trying to swim on land.
00:23:35.519 --> 00:23:36.559
Jokes on him.
00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:41.119
Uh all I have is firebolt and poison spray.
00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:42.240
Yeah, I don't have anything.
00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:43.359
I got mage hand.
00:23:43.440 --> 00:23:45.759
I didn't uh can I have beast bond.
00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:48.319
I could bond with the bottom half of the mermaid.
00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:49.759
Yeah, if it's willing.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:50.640
Yeah.
00:23:51.039 --> 00:23:51.519
True.
00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:54.000
I can manipulate an object with a mage hand.
00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:54.880
There you go.
00:23:55.039 --> 00:23:56.400
Oh, to what extent?
00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:57.839
Um, let's see.
00:23:58.160 --> 00:23:59.599
It's like a normal hand.
00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:01.680
Yeah, so anything I want, really.
00:24:01.920 --> 00:24:03.119
Grab him and squeeze him.
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:03.680
Yeah.
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:05.440
The guy or the mermaid?
00:24:05.519 --> 00:24:07.519
Should I just grab the mermaid by the tail?
00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:08.319
Oh, cartoon both.
00:24:08.799 --> 00:24:10.799
If you kill cartoon, it's Edgar Allan Pooh.
00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:14.079
If you kill if you die in the video game, you die in real life.
00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:16.240
It's it's that fucking Tom Cruise movie.
00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:17.039
That's a good call.
00:24:17.119 --> 00:24:17.599
I like this.
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:18.480
All right, I'm gonna do that.
00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:19.599
Risky business.
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:20.880
Risky business.
00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:24.240
I want a mage hand and squeeze.
00:24:25.759 --> 00:24:26.079
Okay.
00:24:26.640 --> 00:24:30.319
How far how far away is Mage Hand like active?
00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:33.680
It says 30 feet.
00:24:34.079 --> 00:24:35.200
I gotta get closer.
00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:37.599
You'd have to get pretty close.
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:40.799
He's so far away that he doesn't notice you guys.
00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:41.839
Oh, so man.
00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:46.799
I'd say you're about like 120, you know, you're about like maybe 50, 60 yards away.
00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:47.680
Okay, I got a plan.
00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:54.799
I want to create mage hand, and I want the hand to throw me over him, and I will stab him to death.
00:24:55.119 --> 00:24:56.480
That's just a great idea.
00:24:57.359 --> 00:24:57.519
Thank you.
00:24:57.839 --> 00:24:58.880
That's a great idea.
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:01.680
Ranger, that's that's the smartest thing ever.
00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:06.079
You know, you could have grabbed him, but like there's a chance he swiggles out.
00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:08.240
He gets out of there like he's a slippery fish.
00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:12.079
Yeah, you know what you're doing.
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:15.200
You you know what what a grip of a man feels like.
00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:16.240
You know how to do it right.
00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:17.839
You know just where to throw yourself.
00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:18.400
That's smart.
00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:18.799
I like that.
00:25:19.039 --> 00:25:19.599
I'm pretty good.
00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:21.359
They don't call me Ranger Danger for nothing.
00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:22.559
Is this dangerous, you think?
00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:24.079
It's stupid for sure.
00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:27.440
Ranger.
00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:27.920
Yeah.
00:25:28.079 --> 00:25:29.200
How much do you weigh?
00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:30.880
That's very polite.
00:25:31.279 --> 00:25:31.680
Yeah, yeah.
00:25:31.759 --> 00:25:32.319
Come on.
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:33.759
Be nice.
00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:35.519
I don't ask that of you.
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:39.440
I'm kind of fluctuating between 144 and 48 lately.
00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:41.839
Okay, 144 or 148.
00:25:42.079 --> 00:25:43.279
But I'm a half-liver.
00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:45.920
No, I'm just a half elf, so I'm a normal sized person.
00:25:46.160 --> 00:25:47.440
Sorry, what was your question, Greg?
00:25:47.839 --> 00:25:48.880
How much do you weigh?
00:25:49.119 --> 00:25:49.759
148.
00:25:49.920 --> 00:25:50.720
No, 144.
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:52.240
Yeah, 144, a little bit lighter.
00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:54.079
144, it's a good day today.
00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:54.799
Okay, good.
00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:55.440
Okay.
00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:58.240
Go ahead and cast mage hand.
00:25:58.640 --> 00:25:59.680
Okay, cast.
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.640
And the size of this n normal hand appears in front of you.
00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:06.319
What are you having it try to do?
00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:07.839
Wait, normal hand?
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:09.599
Like my own sized hand?
00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:10.559
Yes.
00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:12.400
No, I was gonna make it a bigger hand.
00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:15.839
Does it not I assumed it would be whatever size hand I want, right?
00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:16.880
Does it say?
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:21.200
You know what, for the sake of this idea, I think this does get to be rewarded.
00:26:21.279 --> 00:26:23.279
So you can make this hand as big as you want.
00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:23.839
Okay.
00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:24.160
Nice.
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:27.279
So I basically am casting this and I want to pick myself up.
00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:32.799
Because I only weigh 144, which is actually pretty good for a man my size, half elf my size.
00:26:32.880 --> 00:26:39.920
And I want it to pick me up and hurl me with accuracy to my desired target.
00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:47.440
I will say, in order for you to do this, because normally mage hands can't carry more than 10 pounds.
00:26:47.599 --> 00:26:48.000
Oh no.
00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:57.759
With for for you to make it bigger and to be able to lift it, you will have to use spell slots in order for you to give this hand enough power to throw it, throw yourself over there.
00:26:58.000 --> 00:27:00.480
How many slots do you want me to stick it to?
00:27:00.720 --> 00:27:01.200
What do you have?
00:27:01.359 --> 00:27:04.240
I have two because I used uh detect magic already.
00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:05.039
What level?
00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:06.160
What level of what?
00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:06.799
Oh, first level.
00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:07.599
What level spell slots?
00:27:08.079 --> 00:27:08.400
First level.
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:09.039
First level?
00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:09.599
Okay.
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:15.119
I would say you would need both level one spell slots.
00:27:15.599 --> 00:27:17.440
Like the both ones were Okay.
00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:26.799
So you use all of your spell slots and you take this hand and it grabs you, and you said it want you want it to catapult you.
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:28.480
Yeah, basically, but with accuracy.
00:27:28.720 --> 00:27:29.200
Accuracy.
00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:30.319
Yes, with accuracy.
00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:39.039
Okay, so you want it to trebuchet you over as you trebuchet over this waterfall, you end up right on top of cartoon.
00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:41.759
You splash down with perfect accuracy.
00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:44.400
Okay, I wanted to pull a weapon before I splash down.
00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:45.279
Do I have any weapon?
00:27:45.519 --> 00:27:45.920
That's fine.
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:46.480
Uh you do.
00:27:46.559 --> 00:27:48.480
You have any weapon that you have available to you.
00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:49.519
Oh, perfect.
00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:54.480
Uh I would like to pull my short sword.
00:27:54.640 --> 00:27:54.799
Okay.
00:27:55.920 --> 00:27:56.960
Go my scimitar.
00:27:58.079 --> 00:27:58.400
Okay.
00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:01.359
Oh, because we're in like uh an Arabian type of deal.
00:28:01.519 --> 00:28:02.000
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:02.079 --> 00:28:06.079
Or ooh, actually, it might be better to pull my bow because that actually does more damage.
00:28:06.319 --> 00:28:11.440
I will say bows are you get disadvantaged to hit when you are at close range.
00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:14.559
Oh, well, how far am I when I'm above him?
00:28:14.640 --> 00:28:16.240
What's the highest that the hand threw me?
00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:16.799
You know what?
00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:20.640
I'll say you you with you using two spell slots, you're able to get high.
00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:26.480
You you get very high if you want to, right above him to use your bow without disadvantage.
00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:31.200
I'm gonna use my bow and shoot him from above and then land on him.
00:28:31.519 --> 00:28:31.839
Okay.
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:34.400
Roll to hit with your bow.
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:34.960
Okay.
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:36.960
No way.
00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:37.599
Yep.
00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:38.400
20.
00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:39.200
Nailed it.
00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:47.920
Grant's like, uh the podcast just got shortened by five.
00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:48.400
It did.
00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:49.359
Ten weeks.
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:50.160
It did.
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:55.119
No, a lot, a lot's gonna happen.
00:28:55.200 --> 00:28:57.759
Uh okay, Shane.
00:28:58.640 --> 00:28:59.920
This is very important.
00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:03.519
Tell me what you do while you're in the air.
00:29:03.680 --> 00:29:05.119
Because you haven't landed on him yet.
00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:06.240
Have I shot him yet?
00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:07.920
So you shot him.
00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:08.319
Okay.
00:29:08.480 --> 00:29:09.920
How what's your plan here?
00:29:10.079 --> 00:29:12.960
Like how how have you executed this shot?
00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:14.240
So I I drew an arrow.
00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:15.920
Very it's it looked really cool.
00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:19.759
Imagine it in slow motion, but I drew arrow shot him, and I'm in the air.
00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:21.359
It hit, I assume it hits him.
00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:22.319
We haven't figured out.
00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:23.119
It does.
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:24.480
It 100% hits him.
00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:26.240
I'm asking how how do you want to do this?
00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:30.240
Uh so as I'm falling, I yell camp park here.
00:29:31.119 --> 00:29:33.440
Uh because I like that meme.
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:35.920
Uh as it's been going around.
00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:40.640
And uh as I'm falling, uh, you know, I make note of where the arrow is.
00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:42.160
I don't want to run into that.
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:46.000
Uh am I capable of drawing a short sword as I'm falling?
00:29:46.160 --> 00:29:46.960
Am I allowed to switch?
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:48.240
Oh, yeah, it's a mat 20.
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:48.559
You can.
00:29:48.880 --> 00:29:50.799
Okay, so I draw my short sword.
00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:52.880
You can do quite a bit with this shape.
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:53.599
Yeah, I can.
00:29:53.680 --> 00:29:54.000
Yeah.
00:29:54.160 --> 00:29:55.279
Don't you worry.
00:29:55.440 --> 00:29:59.599
Uh I pull my short sword, which is a perfectly fine size.
00:29:59.759 --> 00:30:01.359
Uh it glistens in the sun.
00:30:01.680 --> 00:30:10.480
I put it in my teeth, and then like Travis Pastrana, I uh take my boots off and sling them around like this.
00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:12.480
Is this all while you're falling?
00:30:13.359 --> 00:30:18.319
And I put them back on my feet just because it's a cool thing to do.
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:29.359
I rotate in the air, I look back at my bros, my uh my uh my sand dune bros, and uh I go thumbs up.
00:30:30.160 --> 00:30:33.680
I backflip uh while I'm doing this.
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:37.359
Now I'm going like a I'm gonna belly flop.
00:30:37.519 --> 00:30:51.440
And then right before, right before I hit the water, I do a can opener on his back and shove the blade in uh in his uh spinal column between his head and his back.
00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:52.400
Damn.
00:30:53.279 --> 00:30:55.599
I'm not even gonna make you roll damage for this.
00:30:55.839 --> 00:30:56.400
Oh, good.
00:30:56.720 --> 00:31:02.720
As you hold the phone, no, I I do need to roll a couple of things here because you're falling.
00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:05.599
Alright, roll one.
00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:10.480
Oh, look at that asshole.
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:12.319
I know, baby.
00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:14.319
You're talking about Shane or the cat?
00:31:16.880 --> 00:31:43.599
Okay, as you can opener right into this guy's neck with your short sword diving into it, you feel his body go limp as he goes, ah, and that's all he's able to muster before his vocal cries start to become gargled and a gurgled mess of blood and liquid and viscera.
00:31:43.839 --> 00:31:54.160
And as you as your speed stops as you hit the water and the water slows you down, the crystal clear water starts to get a tainted deeper dark red.
00:31:54.319 --> 00:32:06.720
As you have done this, the mermaid in the center of the rock springs up, and you notice that this mermaid has an instant look of anger and terror all in one.
00:32:06.960 --> 00:32:11.279
And as she springs up, she's like full 12 feet, sprung up.
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:24.240
Her hair suddenly starts to turn into snakes, and you notice around all the palm trees around you and all the cacti start to dissipate.
00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:25.920
Oh, Jesus.
00:32:26.240 --> 00:32:47.279
As it slowly starts to dissipate, you look down at the body that you have just massacred and pile driven, and it starts to slowly evaporate before you, and the key that was around his neck as you go to grab slowly disappears.
00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:56.799
And you look back at the 18-wheeler, all three of you, and you see Carn sitting in the cab.
00:32:57.119 --> 00:33:01.519
That's bullshit, twirling his finger with the key around it.
00:33:01.839 --> 00:33:03.519
That's all you ever do, Grant.
00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:05.839
It's none of it's real.
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:08.400
None of what we ever do is real if you don't want it to be.
00:33:08.480 --> 00:33:09.279
This is bullshit.
00:33:09.759 --> 00:33:13.920
Hey, Ranger, that was just that was cool, even though it wasn't real.
00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:17.279
The Gorgon.
00:33:17.599 --> 00:33:18.480
Is it cheese?
00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:19.759
Gorgon New York.
00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:22.160
Well, her name is Zola.
00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:32.079
Uh the the Gorgon looks on all three of you and says, Illusion magic really is the best.
00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:33.279
Oh, yeah, I forgot about it.
00:33:33.759 --> 00:33:37.920
And with that, we will end our show.
00:33:38.240 --> 00:33:38.960
Damn.
00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:40.079
Fuck you.
00:33:42.480 --> 00:33:45.039
That does it for another episode of Comedy and Dice.
00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:46.640
Thank you so much for listening.
00:33:46.720 --> 00:33:47.839
We really appreciate it.
00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:51.519
If you want to support directly, please check us out on Patreon.
00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:54.640
That is patreon.com slash comedyand dice.
00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:58.640
Patreon.com slash comedy, the letter in dice.
00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:00.000
Thank you to our cast.
00:34:00.079 --> 00:34:02.160
I have been Tyler Wood playing AIE.
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:09.840
We have Grant Janik as our incomparable dungeon master, Shane Smith as Ranger, always in danger, and Mark Brady as John Lake.
00:34:10.079 --> 00:34:16.320
Thank you to Lisa Corello for playing the narrator, and thank you to DD Spuggers, aka Tim White.
00:34:16.559 --> 00:34:23.920
You can find him on all social media at DD Spuggers for providing us this wonderful backing music you hear each and every week.
00:34:24.079 --> 00:34:25.679
A little bit of a short one this week.
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:34.079
Everybody was pretty busy, but we were able to carve out some time to meet up on a Discord call because we didn't want to miss a week of bringing you guys your favorite podcast.
00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:35.920
At least top 10, I hope.
00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:37.119
Doesn't need to be your favorite.
00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:45.119
But we really appreciate you listening either way, and we didn't want you to miss out on any of the fun of this Mad Max saga.
00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:50.559
And get ready because this is just the second of the three May episodes.
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:53.760
We have the next one coming to you on May 27th.
00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:54.639
Don't miss it.
00:34:54.800 --> 00:34:56.239
We'll see you back here then.
00:35:03.119 --> 00:35:04.320
Did you know it sucked?
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:12.960
Uh yeah, I was I was five minutes from your place, and then I saw Shane calling the Discord or some the Discord going off, and I go, oh fuck.
00:35:13.360 --> 00:35:16.800
I almost suggested you just go and do it with Tyler and sit next to him.
00:35:17.039 --> 00:35:17.519
I almost did.
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:21.519
I almost was like, I'll just sit next to him and then we can be in the same room.
00:35:21.599 --> 00:35:26.079
But uh he didn't want to hang out with Tyler alone on my birthday.
00:35:26.639 --> 00:35:28.320
I was I was at food line.
00:35:28.480 --> 00:35:30.480
I was at food line, I was buying cupcakes.
00:35:30.639 --> 00:35:32.239
I was buying cupcakes for our birthday.
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:33.360
Now you gotta eat those.
00:35:33.599 --> 00:35:34.239
Oh no.
00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:36.320
I think I still have the uh hold on.
00:35:36.559 --> 00:35:37.840
Yeah, I bought cupcakes too.
00:35:38.079 --> 00:35:39.039
You'll never know.
00:35:45.920 --> 00:35:46.400
Anyway.
00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:48.559
No, we can't do it.
00:35:48.639 --> 00:35:49.039
We can't do it.
00:35:49.599 --> 00:35:50.239
That's so nice of you.
00:35:50.480 --> 00:35:51.440
But it's the thought, right?
00:35:51.519 --> 00:35:52.079
It's the thought.
00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:52.400
Yeah.
00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:55.039
I like that he doesn't have the cupcakes anywhere near him.
00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:56.800
It means the girls already ate.
00:35:58.639 --> 00:35:59.440
Well, they're downstairs.
00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:01.679
I wasn't gonna bring up here for myself.
00:36:02.639 --> 00:36:04.480
Yeah, Mark doesn't eat like that.
00:36:05.360 --> 00:36:05.679
He doesn't.
00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:11.039
I was in food line and you and you called, and I go, Well, I don't have to buy cupcakes.
