145. Looking for Validation in All the Wrong Places: Why Your Spouse Should Be Your Audience

When Your Spouse Is Your Biggest Audience

Rarely does a pool party reveal something profound about marriage, but that is exactly what happened to Brad Draper in this deeply relatable episode of Choosing Us. After jumping off a 15-foot cliff and climbing an 18-foot wet rope, Brad realized he was not performing for the crowd. He was performing for one person: his wife, Michaela.

What does it mean to truly show up for your partner, and not just for external validation?
Approaching their 13-year anniversary, Brad and Michaela unpack how small, consistent gestures keep a long-term relationship alive and exciting. From late-night conversations about goals and dreams to intentional flirting, they share how they have rebuilt and maintained their spark. (It turns out impressing your spouse matters more than impressing anyone else in the room.) Their son's courageous cliff jump, which inspired other kids including their four-year-old to follow, mirrors the same truth in parenting: courage and influence ripple outward from those we love most.

Continuously and deliberately, the Drapers nurture romance, friendship, and honest communication as separate but equally essential layers of their bond.

If you want a marriage that feels like both a love story and a best friendship, listen to this episode now.


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