Full Transcript for Breaking Old Patterns: Accountability & Change with Anna Di Carlo and Krysti Montes De Oca — Part 1

00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:01.759 Like you've made it, you figured it out, you ran the machine. 00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:06.719 Well, I got diagnosed with lupus in 2018 and it started a fight for my life. 00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:11.120 And through that process, I had just learned I didn't know anything about myself. 00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:17.279 Literally, I had no idea how my human body worked, what it took for me to even process food that I would eat in a day. 00:04:17.519 --> 00:04:21.120 And in 2020, I reversed the disease completely off my record. 00:04:21.279 --> 00:04:23.920 My body, everything, my organs started to regenerate. 00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:26.160 And through that process, I had met Anna. 00:04:26.560 --> 00:04:28.879 And Anna was extremely encouraging. 00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:34.639 And she goes, You really know a lot about yourself and how it works and what you do, and you really should teach it. 00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:36.079 And the answer was no. 00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:39.839 I I want to be selfish for me because I had never done that, right? 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:40.959 Everyone performs. 00:04:41.120 --> 00:04:46.399 So I was like, No, I'm the selfish person you're gonna meet because when I do show up, I want to be fully selfless. 00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:49.279 And I had learned the difference of what that actually was. 00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:55.680 And performing's not showing up selflessly, you are sacrificing, and that is not what we were designed to do. 00:04:55.839 --> 00:04:59.519 So through her encouragement, she goes, please just work with my clients. 00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:01.519 And I said, No, how about I work with you? 00:05:01.759 --> 00:05:03.360 So I started with her first. 00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:10.879 And when her clients were like, You're different, and there's this and there's that, she goes, please just work with my clients, and it exploded from there. 00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:20.639 So I completely changed from running real estate to teaching exactly how I reverse the disease on top of the tools that keep us moving forward and doing it. 00:05:20.800 --> 00:05:23.680 And that is also done through kinesiology, muscle testing. 00:05:23.920 --> 00:05:30.399 But there are so many avenues to learning our human body, it's actually putting them into place, is our challenge. 00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:31.519 That's fantastic. 00:05:31.759 --> 00:05:37.040 Well, you know, I I will say, and uh anybody who listens to the podcast has probably heard me say this before. 00:05:37.279 --> 00:05:44.319 My favorite place to operate is where the most selfless thing I can do is also the most selfish thing that I can possibly do. 00:05:44.560 --> 00:05:44.879 Fair. 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:50.000 Meaning that everybody in this scenario is getting what they need from the outcome. 00:05:50.240 --> 00:06:00.879 And uh, I think the more people collaborate and the more people think of or use that lens, just it's it's gonna be a space of abundance for everybody. 00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:01.759 Absolutely. 00:06:01.920 --> 00:06:11.120 Um, one of the best things about our friendship, truly, and I hope everybody hears it when I say it, is the best compliment I've ever gotten from Anna is she knows where I stand. 00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:16.639 She doesn't have to guess how I feel, what my boundaries are, what works for me, what doesn't work for me. 00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:18.000 She's never tippy toeing around them. 00:06:18.160 --> 00:06:19.680 She goes, She said it, she meant it. 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:20.879 I absolutely do. 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:22.319 I do that 100%. 00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:27.439 There's so much reassurance in knowing who you are and standing on business, right? 00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:30.319 Your nervous system responds well, everyone around you responds well. 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:32.879 And anybody who doesn't, it's probably because they don't know who they are. 00:06:32.959 --> 00:06:33.279 Yeah. 00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:34.879 And it's been so nice. 00:06:35.040 --> 00:06:39.519 Um, she did an even a better compliment, actually, when we did a different podcast. 00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:44.720 And she goes, you know, she taught me what standards of friendship and relationships look like. 00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:56.800 And I hope everybody has somebody like that in their life because I I hold that high and true to myself or honor that she said that about me was you showed me that this is what a standard of friendship looks like. 00:06:56.959 --> 00:07:02.480 Not take from me, not expect from me, but this is the standard of care as your friend I should have. 00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:05.199 And if it doesn't meet that, maybe they're not my friend. 00:07:05.600 --> 00:07:07.360 Like good, here or better. 00:07:07.680 --> 00:07:08.959 That's exactly where you should stand. 00:07:09.519 --> 00:07:09.920 I love it. 00:07:10.160 --> 00:07:11.439 I absolutely did do that. 00:07:12.160 --> 00:07:14.240 And I and I still should be in that moment. 00:07:14.399 --> 00:07:16.480 I was like, oh, oh, yeah, you're right. 00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:16.800 Yes. 00:07:16.959 --> 00:07:17.120 Yeah. 00:07:17.600 --> 00:07:19.120 Standard of care, here or better. 00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:19.759 Yeah. 00:07:20.079 --> 00:07:20.959 New baseline. 00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:22.399 She created the new baseline. 00:07:22.639 --> 00:07:22.879 Okay. 00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:24.000 That's good. 00:07:24.079 --> 00:07:24.720 That's good. 00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:31.680 Um now, Ana, you've you've kind of changed some of the services that you're that you offer or or the way that you offer them. 00:07:31.839 --> 00:07:32.240 Yep. 00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:43.040 So um, you know, if if I go back 18 months ago, it was primarily uh Reiki, uh soundbed, yes, lymphatic drainage. 00:07:43.279 --> 00:07:43.519 Yep. 00:07:43.839 --> 00:07:53.120 And now I feel like it's like this, but it's it's the services have expanded, but

so has the depth of service that you're providing. 00:07:53.519 --> 00:07:53.839 Right. 00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:57.360 And so the depth has really we talk about that a lot, actually. 00:07:57.439 --> 00:08:00.160 We talk about the depth at which people can meet us at. 00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:02.879 Um, so the services have definitely changed. 00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:06.319 One of them being it's not Reiki anymore, it's resolution reset. 00:08:06.720 --> 00:08:11.439 Uh, that is something, again, that kind of brings bridges the gap, right? 00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:18.959 Between human behavior, the patterns that you're going through, how to break those patterns, how to give you tools to navigate everyday life. 00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:21.439 And that's really what we focus on, Christy and I. 00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:31.680 Let's give you tools so that way you know how to navigate your everyday life because circumstances can be different, but all the emotions are exactly the same, right? 00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:34.559 And that leads into a book that I've written. 00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:37.679 So uh I know we're gonna touch base on that too. 00:08:38.080 --> 00:08:39.200 Would you like me to do that now? 00:08:39.440 --> 00:08:39.679 Absolutely. 00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:40.799 Let's dive straight in. 00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:45.440 So uh the book is really fictional characters, fictional events. 00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:52.879 However, again, all circumstances being different that you will ever experience, but the emotions within the book are very real. 00:08:53.039 --> 00:09:03.200 All the emotions that I've experienced that through learning myself between Christy and I, I've realized, oh crap, like this, everybody at some point has felt like they're not enough. 00:09:03.440 --> 00:09:08.720 Everybody at some point has felt that scarcity, that what if I pull away, what is gonna happen? 00:09:08.879 --> 00:09:13.279 What if I leave this relationship or leave this house or leave this whatever, right? 00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:20.159 So that book really focuses more than even the circumstance on the emotion set behind it. 00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:30.240 And then at the back of the book, it starts to give you tools that could help you navigate through just those particular emotions within the book, which is coming back to self. 00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:40.080 So without getting super, super into it, um one of the tools is what we talk about all the time in the moments that you don't know. 00:09:40.320 --> 00:09:45.039 So let's say uh you have all these options in front of you or all these choices, right? 00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:52.879 And you're like, well, God, I don't know what to do, or I don't know how to leave this person, or I don't know how to leave this job, or what this looks like. 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:55.120 We have these things of reality check. 00:09:55.360 --> 00:09:56.799 Tell me all the things you do know. 00:09:57.360 --> 00:10:02.159 And it could be as simple as, I'm wearing pants, I'm sitting on a chair, right? 00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:04.000 Because when your brain is silly. 00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:04.720 That's right. 00:10:04.879 --> 00:10:10.559 When your brain is looping of I don't know where to go, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to approach this. 00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:15.039 It's time to pause and go, okay, but this is what I do know. 00:10:15.679 --> 00:10:23.200 I know that I have my phone, I know that I have shoes on, I know whatever that is, and that stops the brain from spiraling even further. 00:10:23.360 --> 00:10:26.240 So the back of the book has several different tools that'll help guide that. 00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:34.240 I kind of feel like it is it's the reminder that you need to know where you are in order to even plot out where you're going. 00:10:34.399 --> 00:10:36.399 Think of like GPS on your phone, right? 00:10:37.200 --> 00:10:40.000 The first thing it does is figure out where you are. 00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:40.399 Yeah. 00:10:40.639 --> 00:10:44.879 And then you tell it where you're trying to go, and then a mapping can can happen. 00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:49.840 But if you don't, if you haven't realized where you're at in the situation, I mean you're just flailing. 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:50.240 Yeah. 00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:52.320 But we expand on what you just said, right? 00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:54.159 I love the GPS analogy. 00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:57.120 There are lots of routes to get to where you're going. 00:10:57.279 --> 00:10:58.320 It's not one way. 00:10:58.559 --> 00:10:58.960 That's right. 00:10:59.039 --> 00:10:59.200 Right. 00:10:59.279 --> 00:11:02.159 And it's always calculating things you're not thinking about. 00:11:02.399 --> 00:11:07.600 So instead of worrying about is it the right step, it's taking a step. 00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:10.080 And I want to expand on your book if it's okay to share. 00:11:10.320 --> 00:11:10.480 Absolutely. 00:11:10.799 --> 00:11:14.000 One of my favorite things watching her process write the book. 00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:15.120 Let's be real. 00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:16.879 To be human is to be biased. 00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:20.080 And if you don't believe that, go look it up, do some independent research, everybody. 00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:22.799 We have biases for our survival mechanisms. 00:11:22.960 --> 00:11:28.000 And my favorite thing watching Anna do this is her actually seeing her own biases. 00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:28.879 Oh my God. 00:11:29.039 --> 00:11:29.919 It was gross. 00:11:30.159 --> 00:11:30.960 It was gross. 00:11:31.200 --> 00:11:41.600 It's been so fun because the moment she thinks that this is the way that it was written in her mind, and this is how she felt about it, and this is what it meant to her, we'll get to talking about it. 00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:42.879 We'll get to breaking it down. 00:11:43.039 --> 00:11:47.840 Then I go, hey, Anna, what about this point of view and this perspective?

00:11:47.919 --> 00:11:51.759 And she goes, I didn't see it until now. 00:11:52.639 --> 00:11:53.759 And we'll sit with it. 00:11:53.919 --> 00:11:58.399 And her bias gets shattered, her delusion of protection in that moment. 00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:01.120 So there will be a lot of books written. 00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:01.919 There will be. 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:12.240 Because as she unfolds, her true experience of emotion, not that her book is tit for tat of her life, but it's the real emotion of her experience. 00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:13.679 And you will watch it unfold. 00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:20.240 And it has been so fun as a friend, as a collaborator, to see her in the background going, I did it again. 00:12:20.559 --> 00:12:21.919 I got myself again. 00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:32.799 Well, I almost feel like it should be a a step outside, a book about the book, about we're really a book about the experience. 00:12:33.200 --> 00:12:34.240 Oh, yeah, it's coming. 00:12:34.559 --> 00:12:42.559 Meaning, because because really you changed throughout the process the process of writing the book. 00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:44.720 Oh, sure did. 00:12:45.200 --> 00:12:46.159 It was so fun. 00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:47.039 It's been so fun. 00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:55.840 But there was actually a moment, and you know, as funny as is, we can talk about, you know, everything happens for a reason, all things, but you really don't know it until you're in it, right? 00:12:55.919 --> 00:12:59.200 So as I was writing the book, I had a pause in my clientele. 00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:00.159 Literally. 00:13:00.639 --> 00:13:01.759 Christy loves this. 00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:08.240 I get a phone call going, I know the pattern, I know why the pattern's here, and I'm still annoyed. 00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:08.639 Yeah. 00:13:08.879 --> 00:13:09.679 I go, I hear you, girl. 00:13:09.919 --> 00:13:12.720 But you can't help others if you're in your own little spiral, right? 00:13:12.879 --> 00:13:23.039 So as I was seeing my patterns through life, now again, the characters are fictional, the storyline is fictional, fully fictional, but the emotions behind it are real, right? 00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:26.879 So as I'm re-experiencing these emotions, I'm going, oh my God. 00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:35.039 Every time I denied myself, every time I told myself I wasn't good enough, every time I lost an opportunity, I did it to my damn self. 00:13:35.440 --> 00:13:35.759 Right? 00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:38.080 So all these things are coming back up. 00:13:38.159 --> 00:13:47.759 And meanwhile, I have a pause in clientele, and I'm like, great, because I can't clearly, I'm not in a mode where I can help somebody else currently. 00:13:47.919 --> 00:13:48.159 Sure. 00:13:48.320 --> 00:13:49.200 This is not it. 00:13:49.440 --> 00:13:53.600 Well, you were in the you were in the process of kind of deconstructing. 00:13:53.840 --> 00:13:54.480 Sure was. 00:13:54.879 --> 00:13:56.080 And then reconstructing. 00:13:56.320 --> 00:13:57.200 Sure was. 00:13:57.759 --> 00:14:00.159 And I mean, think of a building. 00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:04.480 If if that building is being torn down and rebuilt, people can't be inside. 00:14:04.639 --> 00:14:07.759 It can't, there's no way to service people inside that building. 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:08.480 Doesn't it? 00:14:08.720 --> 00:14:09.919 So that's really what you were going through. 00:14:10.240 --> 00:14:10.960 I really was. 00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:15.200 And so that first book is really about it's called The Ghost and the Habit. 00:14:15.440 --> 00:14:18.399 The Ghost and the Habit is literally all about self. 00:14:18.559 --> 00:14:26.960 And I love hearing everybody's thought on the on the book title, but the ghost is you, and you're lost in your own habits. 00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:35.120 So that's why even the tools at the back of the book help you to just take a moment to acknowledge yourself, and they're little tools. 00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:47.039 The really, really basics and fundamentals, and as Christy and I have discovered through just everyday living are basics to human behavior, human pattern, human existence. 00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:50.720 And without those basics, we tend to forget and get lost in the sauce. 00:14:51.279 --> 00:14:54.159 So we bring it back to that one first. 00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:57.039 And that yes, there are absolutely more books to be coming. 00:14:57.279 --> 00:14:59.360 I'm already starting on the second book. 00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:01.519 Um that's way out. 00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:08.399 But it that'll hit at the back of the book, there'll be tools on what that book expands on, right? 00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:15.120 So you're slowly building your own toolkit, realizing that I I'm not getting into your story. 00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:19.120 I've given you my emotions that you've at some point felt within yours. 00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:19.440 Right. 00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:19.840 Right? 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:21.840 There's no interconnecting with them. 00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:22.559 That's right. 00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:27.039 And then knowing how from there to address those with tools. 00:15:27.600 --> 00:15:35.519 I feel like in in the back of each of one of your each of your books going forward, you should have a section that is called Did you get lost in the sauce? 00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:37.120 That's a good idea. 00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:40.879 And it could and it could help them kind of walk back how how they re-engage. 00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:41.919 Truly. 00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:48.399 Because I can see people getting lost in in connecting your story to their own work. 00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:54.000 The resonance of it is going to eat them up and looping it back to you is ingenious. 00:15:54.320 --> 00:16:01.679 You might even you might even have like highlighted areas where it's like, oh, it's almost like you take a detour and it's like, hey, just checking on you. 00:16:01.840 -->

00:16:02.080 Yeah. 00:16:02.720 --> 00:16:03.759 Don't get lost. 00:16:04.399 --> 00:16:05.840 Wait, it's like one of those books. 00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:12.799 You know, like those, the bubbles, those kid books where you're like going through, okay, turn to page 11 if you choose this choice, right? 00:16:13.679 --> 00:16:14.799 Scavenger at your way back. 00:16:15.519 --> 00:16:17.440 Those those could be QR codes in the book. 00:16:17.679 --> 00:16:18.399 That's ingenious. 00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:22.240 Or you scan it, and then they hear you say, Look, I know. 00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:25.279 Yeah, I know this is a journey. 00:16:25.440 --> 00:16:25.600 Yeah. 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:30.159 And at this point, you may be feeling filling a blank, and that's natural. 00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:41.039 You know, basically, you know, if you think about any line on the planet, like like if you go to a store, the most frustrating thing that can happen is if you think you're in line, but you're not real sure. 00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:42.720 So it's that not knowing. 00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:48.720 And so I think you could have checkpoints throughout the book where it's like, hey, if you're I know that chapter was tough. 00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:49.840 Check in here. 00:16:50.080 --> 00:16:50.399 Yeah. 00:16:50.639 --> 00:16:51.360 Absolutely. 00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:52.320 I like that. 00:16:52.879 --> 00:16:57.440 And I think you would have more engagement because people they'd be like, oh, she gets me. 00:16:57.679 --> 00:16:58.000 Yeah. 00:16:58.159 --> 00:16:58.480 Yeah. 00:16:58.879 --> 00:16:59.200 Yeah. 00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:00.639 That's a good that's a good thing. 00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:04.799 I shouldn't note that for the the second, third, fourth, however many books we're doing here. 00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:08.079 Well, in collaboration of it all, what we know about, right? 00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:14.960 The nervous system is the nervous system repeats its patterns on purpose to educate us and to bring us back to our highest well-being. 00:17:15.279 --> 00:17:24.799 And fun outsider looking in at Anna's world is her first book truly was, you know, her adolescence, her childhood, her finding herself and all of these things. 00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:31.680 And in her real life, like real life, she actually has to now teach her children how not to do that. 00:17:31.839 --> 00:17:32.880 Oh, that's some messed up. 00:17:33.279 --> 00:17:43.680 And it has been in parallel growth since she started writing it, is because she has real kids in real life, in real life stages that she has to parent herself out of. 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:58.400 Okay, so in that in that same same talk track, so is some of it you teach them to avoid it, or is some of it you give them the tools so that they know how to work through it? 00:17:58.640 --> 00:17:59.759 Oh, yeah, no, we don't avoid it. 00:17:59.839 --> 00:18:01.839 I was gonna say, I'm already gonna go with that one. 00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:04.079 Yeah, no, we don't avoid. 00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:08.319 We uh we teach tools to actually navigate through it, right? 00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:10.240 Because otherwise it just repeats itself. 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:19.119 Anything that's unlearned, or like the times that we have things that loop in our I've done it myself, where it's looped, I'm like, oh, there's something I've missed. 00:18:19.440 --> 00:18:21.200 Because it's really not anybody else's fault. 00:18:21.279 --> 00:18:21.839 It's me, right? 00:18:21.920 --> 00:18:23.119 It always comes back to self. 00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:26.160 It's just willing whether we're willing to see it or not, right? 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:29.119 So I I don't avoid with the kids. 00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:32.799 It's like, I do have my human moments, and Christy will attest. 00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:36.319 I'll have a human moment, I'll look at them and be like, and we're gonna do a session on that later. 00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:36.640 Okay. 00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:41.440 Yeah, but we'll talk to Christy or me later, but we'll figure it out because we're still human. 00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:42.160 It's fine. 00:18:42.559 --> 00:18:43.279 That's right. 00:18:43.680 --> 00:18:45.039 Not perfect out here. 00:18:45.920 --> 00:18:47.279 But just knowing where we're at. 00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:47.680 Yeah. 00:18:47.839 --> 00:18:48.240 Yeah. 00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:49.039 Okay. 00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:50.079 That's cool. 00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:58.000 Um, so how has so how has the writing the book, the experience of writing the book, how has it changed you? 00:18:58.240 --> 00:18:59.359 We'll get real specific. 00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:01.200 How has it changed you as a parent? 00:19:01.599 --> 00:19:03.039 Oh, as a parent. 00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:12.400 Well, first I gotta go with myself first, because I had I had during the writing of it, I made sure my girls they get the opportunity to be with my parents during the summer. 00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:13.440 And you know this. 00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:17.359 And so they were they were there during that time with their grandparents. 00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:20.559 So I was able really to self-reflect on myself. 00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:30.799 And how I changed in those moments is realizing all the things, like I said before, the opportunities that I had neglected or the times that I put myself down. 00:19:30.960 --> 00:19:32.319 Nobody else did it, right? 00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:35.279 They they gave me the information, but I agreed to take it. 00:19:35.440 --> 00:19:35.759 That's right. 00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:36.319 Right. 00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:45.839 So, ironically enough, when my girls got back, there were some things that I saw within my oldest that I was like, oh, I see me. 00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:47.039 I see me right there. 00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:49.440 We're not gonna decline every opportunity. 00:19:49.599 --> 00:19:52.400 You're going to take a moment, and that's

what I was telling you before the show, right? 00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:56.799 We're gonna take a moment to think about where you actually stand. 00:19:57.200 --> 00:20:04.640 And you better be proud of whatever decision you make because you're the only one that has to live with that consequence, good or bad. 00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:07.519 So I've had real life, Christy's not wrong. 00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:17.839 I've had the parallel for it has been so sincerely divinely put you can't make this stuff up. 00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:21.279 So the parallel to it has just been fascinating. 00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:21.680 Yeah. 00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:22.880 I hope that answers your question. 00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:24.079 No, it absolutely does. 00:20:24.160 --> 00:20:29.920 And uh I think we we all get in um these patterns or rut. 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:30.240 Yeah. 00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:38.799 And uh one of the things that I know people have heard me say before is uh what's the difference between a a rut and a groove and it's success. 00:20:39.039 --> 00:20:45.680 And that success could be monetarily, it could be it's getting you closer to where you're trying to go or towards your goals, etc. 00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:48.720 But but we we do get stuck in patterns sometimes. 00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:58.400 And um recently I had I literally had to just find a reason to say yes because I had been stuck in a pattern of no. 00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:04.799 And I think just more people need to be aware of the patterns that they're creating. 00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:09.839 I feel like the challenge with being aware is that we don't know how we work, right? 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:11.359 We don't know how our bodies work. 00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:13.680 So I am an emotion and body coat practitioner, that's Dr. 00:21:13.759 --> 00:21:18.400 Bradley Nelson, which is certified kinesiology, and then I study all the other fun stuff. 00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:23.359 But the challenge I see with my one-on-one clients is they don't know how they work. 00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:29.200 They don't know that the brain is wired to protect you, but then we have innate needs that conflict one another, right? 00:21:29.519 --> 00:21:31.359 Oh, go, you gotta tell, you gotta tell one of them. 00:21:31.599 --> 00:21:33.599 You need expansion, but you need stability. 00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:36.319 That's a direct conflict in your body, right? 00:21:36.400 --> 00:21:40.960 So you literally will go in a circle of I want to go explore, but I'm terrified. 00:21:41.279 --> 00:21:41.839 What? 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:48.400 So if you know it happens and you know your body is designed to keep you alive, you can become the parent. 00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:51.599 And we talk a lot about becoming the parent. 00:21:51.839 --> 00:21:59.759 You have got to grow up for yourself because you are the only person that is going to advocate, that's going to show up. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:05.440 Right back for you, the way your body has been doing all this background work at the same time. 00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:11.039 And I feel the same is true in so, and I know there's a very strong correlation. 00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:17.519 It's it's really kind of one and the same with what y'all are doing, is people have to be their own ad advocate for their own health. 00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:17.920 Yeah. 00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:19.279 A hundred percent. 00:22:19.519 --> 00:22:25.039 And a lot of people, it and this it blows my mind how many people just want to be told what to do. 00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:26.000 Yes, yes. 00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:30.559 They don't want to make a decision because they don't want to be responsible for the outcome. 00:22:31.119 --> 00:22:34.240 So they want to go to the doctor and for the doctor to tell them what to do. 00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:43.599 Well, here's the kicker of that, though, because I love that you said that, and I'm sure Christy will agree with me, is that we automatically want somebody else to blame. 00:22:44.079 --> 00:22:45.440 Kind of like what you said, right? 00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:49.200 But in reality, you still agree to it, right? 00:22:49.359 --> 00:22:50.400 So, good example. 00:22:50.480 --> 00:22:51.839 I had my youngest the other day. 00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:54.079 She Christy knows the story. 00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:56.160 Um, but I had my youngest the other day. 00:22:56.240 --> 00:23:02.720 We're sitting at the dinner table, and she we went, me, Christy, and a group of us, we went to a putt putt place. 00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:04.640 And it was all electronic putt shack. 00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:04.799 Yeah. 00:23:05.359 --> 00:23:05.599 Yeah, yeah. 00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:06.559 I saw the pictures. 00:23:06.799 --> 00:23:07.039 Yes. 00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:10.960 So we were there, they took me and my girls went into a photo booth and had a picture. 00:23:11.119 --> 00:23:15.759 Well, I stood there and said, Look, Emma, if you don't want to do the soccer ones, they have these other ones, and I started naming them. 00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:17.440 And she goes, Well, you spoke for me. 00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:20.400 And I said, Oh, love that. 00:23:20.880 --> 00:23:21.680 Back up. 00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:27.039 I was like, Because every single thing that was chosen, you were asked if you agreed. 00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:29.680 Nobody said yes but you. 00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:33.279 And she just stood there with her mouth open, like, oh shit. 00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:35.119 Like, I don't know where to go from here. 00:23:35.440 --> 00:23:38.319 But when you put it like that, that's our favorite statement from many. 00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:41.200 Well, when you put it like that, accountability, it's a real thing. 00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:42.079 Yeah, people. 00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:45.119 Like, okay, so I'm I'm gonna ask the the two of you. 00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:54.720 Obviously, you have an unfair advantage because uh we've done some done some

work together, but yeah, um, so a little bit of I'd love for you to analyze me a little bit. 00:23:55.200 --> 00:24:03.839 Christy in that uh so on the disc profile, I I'm high D, high C, so I want it perfect and I want it right now, so I'm always at conflict with myself. 00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:05.839 And I'm the opposite. 00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:07.519 I don't want to blame someone else. 00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:11.839 I want to be in charge, I want to be the one to blame if it goes sideways. 00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:18.319 So much so that I will not ride with anybody else, I will not let my kids ride with anybody else. 00:24:18.559 --> 00:24:26.640 Like I'm in control of that environment because I do not want something to be outside of my control when it's that important. 00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:28.480 Hyperindependence all day long. 00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:30.240 It requires for safety. 00:24:30.319 --> 00:24:34.319 Your nervous system doesn't trust you, which means it doesn't trust its environment. 00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:34.960 Okay. 00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:43.039 We've got to get you as the main parent in the in the system, and we've got to build the resilience in there that says, I have a hundred percent success rate. 00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:46.720 Every single thing you've ever been faced with, you actually figured it out. 00:24:47.200 --> 00:24:49.839 But the brain can't see that prediction mechanism. 00:24:50.079 --> 00:25:04.880 There is something deep in your core inside that little, well, I call them your little, whatever you want to call them, name him, have a whole relationship with it because there's something that's stuck in that subconscious that says, if I don't know the outcome, I can't trust it, meaning I can't move forward. 00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:07.039 So I need to be in full control. 00:25:07.359 --> 00:25:07.680 Okay. 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:09.759 Instead of just saying, I trust me. 00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:10.799 I got this. 00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:11.279 Okay. 00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:12.799 Does that last part sound familiar? 00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:13.359 A little bit. 00:25:13.599 --> 00:25:13.680 Okay. 00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:16.880 I just want to make sure that the last part we've not talked about that before. 00:25:17.119 --> 00:25:19.680 But hyperindependence is a trauma response, right? 00:25:19.839 --> 00:25:23.680 It lets us know that we weren't given the tools, and this is no fault or blame to anyone else. 00:25:23.759 --> 00:25:27.200 It's our nervous system, it's the way it is developed through time. 00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:32.000 And there are very specific stages in our nervous system that build our resilience and our confidence. 00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:39.920 And if at any point in time that was shattered, shifted, blamed, or adjusted during development, you've got to rewire it now as an adult. 00:25:40.160 --> 00:25:40.480 Okay. 00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:42.640 And you know exactly which time that is. 00:25:42.799 --> 00:25:43.039 Right. 00:25:43.359 --> 00:25:44.000 Oh, yeah, yeah. 00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:44.400 Uh-huh. 00:25:44.559 --> 00:25:44.960 Well, I will. 00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:47.119 I just want to hit that real quick. 00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:48.160 Well, I know his brain went. 00:25:48.720 --> 00:25:51.359 Well, this is one fundamental we talk about. 00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:53.119 And I, if it gets into here, great. 00:25:53.279 --> 00:25:54.799 If it doesn't, I hope you hear it from me. 00:25:54.960 --> 00:25:55.359 Yeah. 00:25:55.519 --> 00:25:56.880 We do not choose our thoughts. 00:25:57.039 --> 00:26:03.920 And I worked with a neuro on this, and he sat me down and he goes, Look, you can't tell me what you're gonna think next. 00:26:04.079 --> 00:26:05.279 And I go, Yeah, I can. 00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:08.000 I was young and ego, and I was bound to prove him wrong. 00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:09.680 He goes, You can tell me what you're thinking. 00:26:09.839 --> 00:26:11.119 You can tell me what you've thought. 00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:13.200 You can't tell me the next thought that comes. 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:17.119 And I sat there just fuming. 00:26:17.519 --> 00:26:20.559 I was enraged because I'm hyper-independent. 00:26:21.119 --> 00:26:22.400 I've got it all under control. 00:26:22.480 --> 00:26:25.839 I don't need anyone, and it's all in my hands, or it's not right. 00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:26.720 Okay. 00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:29.680 That's burnout and that's survival. 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:36.240 But he goes, You have to learn how to manage what your brain does because you cannot control it. 00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:36.799 Right. 00:26:37.359 --> 00:26:40.720 So we don't choose our thoughts, we only navigate them. 00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:45.119 Whenever we're talking and you're getting memory, that's your body's communication. 00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:48.720 That's the way that it processes what is stuck in your muscle memory. 00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:53.599 So the fact that I was talking about something and your body went straight to a memory, you didn't choose that. 00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:56.799 Your body is processing its resonance with me. 00:26:57.039 --> 00:26:57.279 Okay. 00:26:57.440 --> 00:26:58.240 In that information. 00:26:58.319 --> 00:26:59.599 Because you didn't tap into there. 00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:02.079 It just went, whoop, file cabinet, here we go. 00:27:02.319 --> 00:27:02.640 Right. 00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:07.440 That's what blew my mind about learning human behavior to begin with was you know what? 00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:09.920 I'm not choosing what my body's kicking up. 00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:11.599 Where is that coming from? 00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:14.319 Where's the stored information at in here? 00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:17.599 And we've learned muscle memory is big file cabinets in our system. 00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:18.000 Right. 00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:19.759 Let's clean out the file cabinets. 00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:20.480 Okay.

00:27:20.960 --> 00:27:33.440 And I think I think what I'm gonna just interject here with something, but I really think it's important that that was brought up because even as we as we progress forward, people are like, oh, well, I have this survival, oh, or I have this, right? 00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:36.079 And it's almost like this blame game shift. 00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:38.880 Yeah, this guilt thing. 00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:43.920 And it it's a no, we we had survival, right? 00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:51.200 But we actually now have depicted little pieces and bits of it and go, now how do we make it work for us? 00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:52.079 Right? 00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:59.440 And so I think everybody can come to terms with that, but you have to be willing to be the parent of yourself, you have to be willing to take accountability. 00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:01.839 There's look, everybody throws accountability around. 00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:04.319 Please. 00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:06.880 Accountability is a two-step process. 00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:09.440 So adults don't want to hear that. 00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:11.920 They're like, well, I admitted it, and I go, cute. 00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:12.799 Yeah, that's cute. 00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:13.680 That's acknowledgement. 00:28:13.759 --> 00:28:14.720 That's not accountability. 00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:15.119 Right. 00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:19.519 Okay, accountability says I've acknowledged it, and I have course of action of change behavior. 00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:20.000 Right. 00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:24.000 So it's the chain, it always ends up with action behind it. 00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:26.640 You have to have changed behavior to have accountability. 00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:27.519 That's right. 00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:29.759 Otherwise, you're just repeating. 00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:30.880 You're manipulating. 00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:32.160 You're manipulating yourself, girlfriend. 00:28:32.400 --> 00:28:34.400 You're very good at persuasion and manipulation. 00:28:34.799 --> 00:28:38.240 Or justification for things that the reason why we do things all day long. 00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:39.839 People do it every day. 00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:40.720 All the time. 00:28:41.119 --> 00:28:43.200 But I love hearing an adult go, I'm so accountable. 00:28:43.279 --> 00:28:44.160 And I go, that's great. 00:28:44.240 --> 00:28:45.200 How much have you changed? 00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:46.799 And they go, What? 00:28:47.440 --> 00:28:48.000 Right. 00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:51.599 You're very well acknowledged. 00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:57.200 You're very maybe aware of yourself, but you're not doing anything but adding to the bucket of things you already don't like. 00:28:57.440 --> 00:28:57.839 Yeah. 00:28:58.400 --> 00:28:59.359 What are you doing about it? 00:28:59.839 --> 00:29:02.720 I mean, as as just as a human construct, we do that every day. 00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:04.160 Every day. 00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:08.079 We are the master puppet masters of self, right? 00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:18.240 Like we literally pull every string of persuasion and our emotions are designed to help us, not harm us, but we are so stuck in them because we don't understand they have purpose. 00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:21.920 There is eight primary emotions and they have a job that's innate. 00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:25.839 Every human, I don't care who, what, when, and where, it is survival-driven. 00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:28.400 If you learn them, they're not so scary. 00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:31.200 If I'm angry, I need protection. 00:29:31.440 --> 00:29:34.480 Well, I think I think most people just go through life with blinders on. 00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:35.519 Uh bias. 00:29:35.759 --> 00:29:37.759 I just this is the way I'm going. 00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:40.720 I know it's over there, but I'm I'm not looking at it. 00:29:40.880 --> 00:29:41.839 This is me not looking at it. 00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:46.079 Doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but it will show up literally somewhere else, right? 00:29:46.240 --> 00:29:48.720 So whether it be work, I even asked my husband that. 00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:48.960 Yeah. 00:29:49.200 --> 00:29:49.759 You know that. 00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:56.400 I've asked him, he came up to me one day and he was like, you know, I'm really feeling like I'm just not doing enough. 00:29:56.720 --> 00:29:58.400 But I'm doing enough, right? 00:29:58.480 --> 00:29:59.680 He was like, it's the weirdest feeling. 00:29:59.839 --> 00:30:00.400 I said, Great. 00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:01.680 So you've had it at your job. 00:30:01.839 --> 00:30:03.359 Have you had it feeling at home? 00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:04.640 And he was like, What? 00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:12.640 And I said, Because if you don't catch it when it's outside like that, it's gonna slowly work its way in and in and in to it smacks you in the face. 00:30:12.799 --> 00:30:14.960 And then that's when people are like, Well, now I don't know what to do. 00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:16.160 It's everywhere, right? 00:30:16.319 --> 00:30:17.759 But that's what we help teach. 00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:24.079 That's what we help no stop it at the beginning of its cycle, the beginning of the pattern, but you gotta see there's one there to begin with. 00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:24.799 Yeah, right. 00:30:24.960 --> 00:30:26.000 So that's really what we delve into. 00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:27.279 You gotta catch it, right? 00:30:27.359 --> 00:30:30.720 And that's the basic steps we start with is learning how to identify. 00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:35.039 You can rectify anything in your nervous system once you can identify it. 00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:35.440 Right. 00:30:35.519 --> 00:30:36.160 Nothing's broken. 00:30:36.319 --> 00:30:36.799 That's right. 00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:39.200 Acknowledgement required, the mess matters. 00:30:39.279 --> 00:30:42.240 And that is our collaboration space is the mess matters. 00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:48.079 Every single thing we've

ever collaborated on was because it was a mess first in anything for ourselves or with others. 00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:48.559 Yeah. 00:30:48.799 --> 00:30:49.359 Truly. 00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:50.000 Sure. 00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:51.599 That's an ooh moment. 00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:55.839 We are so messy, but we're not broken. 00:30:55.920 --> 00:31:01.839 And if anybody who's ever moved, rearranged, or done something, it's messier before it gets better. 00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:08.079 But the feeling you have through that process, through that journey, through that reorganization is what builds that nervous system. 00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:10.079 It builds your strength within yourself. 00:31:10.319 --> 00:31:11.359 We don't like it to start. 00:31:11.519 --> 00:31:12.319 Nobody likes it. 00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:12.799 Okay. 00:31:12.960 --> 00:31:13.519 We got it. 00:31:13.599 --> 00:31:14.880 It's it's uncomfortable. 00:31:14.960 --> 00:31:16.000 That is what intuition is. 00:31:16.079 --> 00:31:17.359 It's not designed to be comfortable. 00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:18.400 We wouldn't do anything. 00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:21.839 So we have to be uncomfortable, but then also look at your data. 00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:24.400 You really do have got a track record of success. 00:31:24.559 --> 00:31:27.440 You may not like all of it, but it's still there. 00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:28.160 That's right. 00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:37.839 Well, and kind of like we were talking before we started the podcast, uh, because my background is a business coach, and so I loved what you said there, is it's messier before it gets better. 00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:38.319 Yes. 00:31:38.480 --> 00:31:42.000 And a lot of people stop as soon as it gets messier. 00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:42.640 Oh, yeah. 00:31:43.119 --> 00:31:52.319 And um, so I love having clients that are that you know, I usually have to shed some light on the fact that it is going to get worse before it gets better. 00:31:52.559 --> 00:31:52.640 Yeah. 00:31:53.039 --> 00:32:04.480 Because if if if you were if you were doing this much work in order to just keep doing what you're doing, you're going to have to do that much work plus this much work in order to write the ship. 00:32:04.880 --> 00:32:06.400 And that's where a lot of people stop. 00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:14.799 Is when as soon as they see it it got harder, and it didn't get harder for a minute, it got harder for three months or whatever that whatever that looks like. 00:32:14.960 --> 00:32:18.960 And so I I I I see the same correlation with people trying to fix themselves. 00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:19.680 Yep. 00:32:19.839 --> 00:32:22.880 Um and so we'll make all kinds of excuses. 00:32:23.279 --> 00:32:30.480 Just the same way, same way business owners will make all kinds of excuses as to why it is what it is, or we do it this way because we've always done it that way. 00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:31.440 Oh my god. 00:32:31.920 --> 00:32:38.240 And and so people do the same thing in their personal lives, and they're just they're just used to it, so they're stuck in that rut. 00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:39.039 That's right. 00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:45.119 And and if you think about getting out of a rut, like it takes a lot of effort to get up and out of that rut. 00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:53.759 And so, whether we're talking about business or in life, it takes a lot of effort beyond what you are currently doing to get out of it. 00:32:54.079 --> 00:33:01.039 See, and I love your approach with that because you are, and correct me if I'm wrong here, but you're you are very business and straightforward in that manner. 00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:04.000 And the issue that we find, right, is people's thresholds. 00:33:04.319 --> 00:33:07.039 And so we have found a way to meet that threshold. 00:33:07.119 --> 00:33:10.799 And I I applaud you for being at the level where I don't have to meet everyone's threshold, it's where you sit. 00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:12.559 I repeat that that's cool. 00:33:12.799 --> 00:33:14.480 And that's that's exactly it. 00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:18.000 Not everybody needs the baby steps, but some people do. 00:33:18.160 --> 00:33:25.200 And we've we've devised a very beautiful stepping stone that says take the wins, build on compound because it matters, right? 00:33:25.359 --> 00:33:27.680 What's the difference between a ditch and a grave? 00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:29.039 One you get out of. 00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:29.599 Okay. 00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:31.200 So pick and choose. 00:33:31.680 --> 00:33:33.279 He's gonna write that down for future, look at it. 00:33:35.839 --> 00:33:39.759 It's really, really important though that we understand where our thresholds are at. 00:33:40.079 --> 00:33:41.920 The depth in which we can meet them, yeah. 00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:44.880 So that we don't set them up for crash and burn. 00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:47.839 And we really do go take your wins. 00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:49.680 Your wins are I didn't run nobody over today. 00:33:49.839 --> 00:33:51.039 Ain't nobody got cussed out today. 00:33:51.119 --> 00:33:51.279 Yeah. 00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:52.400 That's enough of a win. 00:33:52.640 --> 00:33:52.799 Okay. 00:33:52.880 --> 00:33:56.160 So when we first met and first started saying that, I would ask her. 00:33:56.559 --> 00:33:57.200 You're concerned. 00:33:57.440 --> 00:34:00.400 I was because I would be like, Hi, Ben, like, what are you doing? 00:34:00.559 --> 00:34:02.160 And when I asked that, I genuinely mean it. 00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:03.759 And she's like, Well, I didn't kill anybody today. 00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:04.160 We're good. 00:34:04.240 --> 00:34:05.119 And I was like, What? 00:34:05.279 --> 00:34:06.480 And I genuinely meant it. 00:34:06.640 --> 00:34:08.880 That was my win for the day because I had ran real estate. 00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:12.480 And if anybody has ever been in real estate, it's a crapshoot. 00:34:12.639 --> 00:34:12.800 Yeah. 00:34:12.960 -->

00:34:13.360 Oh, absolutely. 00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:14.480 For the day. 00:34:15.679 --> 00:34:21.280 But truly, we we allow ourselves to be human unapologetically and messy. 00:34:21.599 --> 00:34:23.199 It matters for the journey. 00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:30.079 This is not about perfection and performance, which is something we talked about earlier was, you know, I you want it to be perfect. 00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:31.199 You want it to have in control. 00:34:31.280 --> 00:34:35.119 And that's just because the nervous system doesn't trust that it's going to be okay. 00:34:35.519 --> 00:34:43.280 Well, you know, uh, somebody asked me once, it was actually on a podcast uh years ago, and they said um perfect doesn't exist. 00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:44.960 No, what is perfect? 00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:46.559 Well, I want to challenge that. 00:34:46.800 --> 00:34:47.920 Uh-oh, yay. 00:34:48.239 --> 00:34:50.159 Perfect moments can exist. 00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:57.199 Now, I think a lot of people are striving for this perfect life or this perfect journey, and that doesn't exist. 00:34:57.440 --> 00:35:05.199 But I do think there are these shiny, bright moments that we gravitate toward where everything just kind of came together for our benefit. 00:35:05.519 --> 00:35:10.960 And some of it we had control over, and some of it was just the world playing to our advantage that day. 00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:21.519 And I do think there are these perfect moments that you can you can hold on to to give you that confidence the next time you feel like you're in a ditch or you feel like you're in this rut that you can't get out of. 00:35:21.599 --> 00:35:32.559 And you you can kind of pull from that feeling or that confidence that you had in that that last time or that whatever that happened and leverage it for your advantage. 00:35:32.960 --> 00:35:35.039 Moments to meaning is the first thing I thought of. 00:35:35.119 --> 00:35:36.000 Is that what you thought of? 00:35:36.239 --> 00:35:50.880 It is, but I also want to expand on that because I I do believe language matters and learning more about how our psyche works and how our brain processes, when we say perfect moments, right, we do need to remind ourselves mentally and physically that it's our perfect moment. 00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:51.440 Sure. 00:35:51.679 --> 00:35:51.840 Right? 00:35:52.159 --> 00:35:52.719 It's our story. 00:35:53.039 --> 00:35:57.599 That language matters because the psyche does not know anyone else exists, right? 00:35:57.760 --> 00:35:58.800 It doesn't know that. 00:35:58.960 --> 00:36:07.519 And so when we're talking or preaching or advocating out here and sharing, we forget that our language is so important to our brain. 00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:09.679 And so it's like, this was my perfect moment. 00:36:09.840 --> 00:36:11.280 Look at the world showing up for me. 00:36:11.599 --> 00:36:13.840 Look at this space working out for me. 00:36:14.079 --> 00:36:16.559 That feeds right back into what

I call your bank account. 00:36:16.639 --> 00:36:17.760 You are the bank account. 00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:18.960 What is withdrawing? 00:36:19.199 --> 00:36:20.239 What is depositing? 00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:21.360 You should know those things. 00:36:21.440 --> 00:36:21.679 Yeah. 00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:29.920 And then really feed that language back into yourself because that's the relationship you're building, that one-on-one of true show up and get it done. 00:36:30.079 --> 00:36:32.400 But your perfect moment was absolutely perfect for you. 00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:35.039 I guarantee if I sat in your moment, it wouldn't feel the same for me. 00:36:35.280 --> 00:36:36.239 Sure, absolutely. 00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:38.079 But it was your perfect moment. 00:36:38.239 --> 00:36:38.639 Yeah. 00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:40.239 And that's the end of discussion. 00:36:40.320 --> 00:36:41.360 And that's what I love hearing. 00:36:41.440 --> 00:36:42.559 People like, this is mine. 00:36:42.639 --> 00:36:44.000 Let's teach you how to have yours. 00:36:44.719 --> 00:36:45.440 That's cool. 00:36:45.679 --> 00:36:46.239 I like that. 00:36:46.559 --> 00:36:47.920 Give it your power back. 00:36:48.159 --> 00:37:03.039 Well, and you know, uh, I I won't I won't name names, uh, but I have family members that you have helped, and and I see how much more equipped they are to handle the things that they couldn't properly handle before. 00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:03.840 What a cost of things. 00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:18.159 And not that not that they're not that they're perfect or any of those things, but they are uh there were there were moments that I had family members that I mean it would take them weeks to recover from a planned experience. 00:37:18.960 --> 00:37:22.159 And now it's more like hours. 00:37:22.639 --> 00:37:23.280 I love that. 00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:26.960 Talk about progress, not perfection, progress. 00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:27.440 Progress. 00:37:27.679 --> 00:37:27.840 Sure. 00:37:28.559 --> 00:37:29.039 I love that. 00:37:29.599 --> 00:37:35.679 Um, have you guys ever talked about you know the correlation of the physical body and the mind? 00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:37.119 Have you guys ever had those conversations? 00:37:37.199 --> 00:37:38.960 I don't want to jump in too far in that. 00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:40.159 Example. 00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:42.880 Example is you talked about recovery, right? 00:37:42.960 --> 00:37:52.559 And a lot of people, I really, really advocate about this is understanding your body's response system of recovery is based off of how well your nervous system's regulated. 00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:54.079 How much stress are you really holding? 00:37:54.159 --> 00:37:56.079 How much silent stressors are you really holding? 00:37:56.320 --> 00:37:59.519 So a lot of my clients sometimes aren't ready to go vulnerable. 00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:00.639 They're not ready to go deep. 00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:02.480 So we talk about why's your left shoulder

hurt? 00:38:02.559 --> 00:38:03.679 And why is it bin hurting? 00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:03.920 Yeah. 00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:04.320 Right. 00:38:04.480 --> 00:38:08.159 The muscle memory disruption is also emotional baggage. 00:38:08.639 --> 00:38:09.599 Yeah, we've talked about that. 00:38:09.760 --> 00:38:09.920 Yeah. 00:38:10.079 --> 00:38:14.000 We've talked about not in that way, because you know, we always talk different. 00:38:14.239 --> 00:38:18.960 That's why we can meet everybody where they're at, but we have talked those certain things through. 00:38:19.199 --> 00:38:20.639 And that's I know who he's talking about. 00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:40.159 Well, that's what I'm hearing about your family is like when you yes, take off the emotional part, but then give the tool, you're teaching your body how not to carry that weight of disruption and it can recover, physically recover, which is how I rewired my system and eliminated something that was eating me from the inside out. 00:38:40.639 --> 00:38:46.559 And everybody does not realize most of the time how much silent stressors are tissue eaters. 00:38:46.719 --> 00:38:49.039 They will eat through anything in the system. 00:38:49.119 --> 00:38:50.880 And then we wonder why we feel like crap. 00:38:51.039 --> 00:38:51.199 Yeah. 00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:51.760 100%. 00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:57.039 And a lot of times when we when I talk to people, even it's it's focused on that, right? 00:38:57.119 --> 00:39:01.199 So they're like, oh, well, why is my we've talked about this back pain, right? 00:39:01.280 --> 00:39:02.639 Or shoulder pain or whatever, right? 00:39:02.719 --> 00:39:04.880 We're like, okay, let's talk about what are we holding on to? 00:39:05.039 --> 00:39:05.679 Yeah, what are you carrying? 00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:06.639 Yeah, what are you carrying? 00:39:06.719 --> 00:39:06.800 Yeah. 00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:07.599 So we've talked about this. 00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:11.920 My favorite response with that is, well, I moved a whole house, that's why I'm sore, and I go, cute. 00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:12.960 Wasn't that a month ago? 00:39:13.280 --> 00:39:13.599 Yeah. 00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:14.159 Right. 00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:14.559 Right. 00:39:14.800 --> 00:39:16.159 A month ago you moved a house. 00:39:16.239 --> 00:39:18.880 So why didn't your your body recover yet? 00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:22.320 I had one that was like, oh, 14 years ago I had whiplash. 00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:24.480 And I'm like, 14 years. 00:39:25.280 --> 00:39:25.679 Right. 00:39:25.760 --> 00:39:26.159 Oh, yeah. 00:39:26.320 --> 00:39:28.800 Let's go about a little bit more in depth with that then a little bit. 00:39:29.039 --> 00:39:37.280 Well, I do think though, I mean, people have to be, I'm not say ready, but willing to start and take this journey. 00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:37.920 Yes. 00:39:38.079 --> 00:39:41.840 Uh, point in case, when we met, that was funny. 00:39:42.079 --> 00:39:47.440 We had a lengthy conversation,

and uh, I said, I've got to introduce you to my wife. 00:39:47.599 --> 00:39:49.280 My wife absolutely needs you. 00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:53.360 And Anna was like, Does she know that she needs me? 00:39:54.239 --> 00:39:54.719 Fair. 00:39:55.360 --> 00:40:02.000 And then so the first time Emily went, um, Anna was like, Are you here by your own cognition? 00:40:02.159 --> 00:40:03.920 Are you you are you under duress? 00:40:04.159 --> 00:40:04.320 Yes. 00:40:04.559 --> 00:40:06.800 Were you were you required to come here? 00:40:07.360 --> 00:40:09.039 I absolutely did ask that. 00:40:09.199 --> 00:40:10.239 I absolutely did. 00:40:10.480 --> 00:40:11.840 Consent required, everybody. 00:40:12.239 --> 00:40:13.519 Consent required out here. 00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:18.639 And then and then, because Emily went first, and then uh um uh I said, Well, how did it go? 00:40:18.719 --> 00:40:20.400 And she's like, I don't want to tell you yet. 00:40:20.559 --> 00:40:22.719 You need to go, and then we'll we'll talk about it. 00:40:23.039 --> 00:40:28.719 And then after after I went for my first Reiki session, then we had a a great conversation. 00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:30.559 But uh she was ready. 00:40:30.880 --> 00:40:32.960 Uh and and I was I was glad that she was. 00:40:33.119 --> 00:40:33.360 Yeah. 00:40:33.599 --> 00:40:35.199 So we were supposed to meet that day. 00:40:35.360 --> 00:40:35.760 Yeah. 00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:36.559 Yep. 00:40:36.800 --> 00:40:40.239 You you guys definitely did a switch off, and that's okay. 00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:42.559 But divine timing's a real thing too, right? 00:40:42.639 --> 00:40:44.159 Everything really does work out for us. 00:40:44.320 --> 00:40:51.519 I love the GPS where it's like, I don't have to know every piece of the journey to know where I'm headed. 00:40:51.760 --> 00:40:54.480 I just have to be okay with navigating the journey. 00:40:54.639 --> 00:41:00.719 Everyone wants to just either not start and get to the end, or stay at the start and never get to the end. 00:41:01.280 --> 00:41:05.679 It's the in-between part that we kind of get afraid of, but it's designed like that. 00:41:05.840 --> 00:41:11.519 It's literally designed that way as a human to have resistance so that you grow. 00:41:11.760 --> 00:41:14.320 Our nervous system was designed to regenerate. 00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:17.360 And so if you're not regenerating, you're in a swamp. 00:41:17.519 --> 00:41:17.760 Okay. 00:41:17.920 --> 00:41:20.079 You got a swamp ass, and it's not going anywhere. 00:41:20.320 --> 00:41:20.480 Right. 00:41:21.840 --> 00:41:22.239 I did. 00:41:22.880 --> 00:41:26.000 Recently, uh, Matthew McConaughey was on a podcast. 00:41:26.239 --> 00:41:28.639 Team is Jim Cripps here with the Charge Forward Podcast. 00:41:28.719 --> 00:41:30.320 I just want to tell you, I love you. 00:41:30.559 --> 00:41:32.000 I appreciate you listening. 00:41:32.159 --> 00:41:40.400 I appreciate you for subscribing and sharing the Charge Forward Podcast with people you know and you love because that's what we're here for. 00:41:40.559 --> 00:41:55.119 We are here to share the amazing stories, the things that people have been through, the ways that they were able to improve their life so that you can take little nuggets from theirs and help improve your story and be better tomorrow than you were today. 00:41:55.440 --> 00:42:04.480 I hope that this is the tool you needed at the right time, and that you find value in the amazing guests that we bring each and every week. 00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:08.960 Thanks so much, and don't forget, new episodes drop every Thursday.