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There is a difference between making someone feel safe andmaking sure they never feel uncomfortable. That distinction matters. When someone we care about is struggling, our instinct maybe to rescue them. We reassure. We soften. We fill the silence. We try to make the uncomfortable feeling disappear…
What happens inside you when someone responds to athoughtful question with three little words: “I don’t know”? Sometimes our instinct is to jump in. Ask another question.Offer some choices. Explain what we meant. Rescue the conversation. Anything to fill that slightly uncomfortable space. But what …
Sometimes the wisest response is a deep question. Sometimes it is encouragement. Sometimes it is silence. And sometimes, for goodness’ sake, we just need to send the email. Growth does not always mean going deeper. Sometimes growth means knowing what this particular moment actually requires. We do …
Sometimes the thing we are trying to change makes perfectsense when we understand what is underneath it. Maybe you keep saying yes because somewhere along the way, being capable became connected to doing everything. Maybe you struggle to create boundaries because disappointingsomeone feels like evi…

Skilled Coach: IDK

Sometimes the problem we are trying to solve is not actuallythe problem. Someone says they are overwhelmed, so we help them manage their time. They keep saying yes, so we help them organize theircalendar. They have too much to do, so we help them prioritize. All useful things. Unless the real probl…
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