Episode 165 - Disloyalty Destroys More Than You Think

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What if the most expensive thing you'll ever lose isn't money,
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isn't a relationship, isn't a career?
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What if it's trust? Not trust in other people, trusting yourself.
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Let me ask you something. Have you ever had someone promise they'd be there
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for you and then disappear when you need it the most?
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Have you ever discovered a lie that shattered a relationship you thought was solid?
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Have you ever looked at a friend, a partner, a coworker, or even a family member
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and thought, I never expected that from you.
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That feeling's difficult to describe.
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It's bigger than disappointment. It's deeper than anger.
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It's a painful realization that someone you trusted made a choice that will
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change how you see them forever.
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That is what disloyalty does. And there's a truth, and here's the truth,
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that most people never talk about.
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But disloyalty doesn't just destroy relationships, it destroys confidence, it destroys security,
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it destroys culture, it destroys families, it destroys teams,
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and sometimes it destroys the relationships you have with yourself.
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Not because all disloyalty come from other people Sometimes we become disloyal to our own values.
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Our own dreams Our own integrity And the consequences are far greater than we imagine,
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Today we're pulling back the curtain on a subject that impacts every one of
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us A topic that can quietly erode years of trust in a single moment,
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A topic that can either break lives apart or teach us one of the most valuable
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lessons we'll ever learn.
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Disloyalty destroys more than you think. Let's talk about it.
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Welcome to the Catalyst Podcast, I'm your host, Jason. Connect with us on Facebook,
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Shoot us an email at catalystmotivationpodcast at gmail.com.
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Catalystmotivationpodcast at gmail.com. Welcome, welcome, welcome to episode 165.
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Disloyalty destroys more than you think.
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I remember a friend telling me about the day that he found out a business partner
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had been talking behind his back.
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Not criticizing decision, not offering constructive feedback.
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Actually undermining him.
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Actively. Strategically.
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To people whose opinions matter.
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He told me something I'll never forget. He said, it wasn't the money that hurt.
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It wasn't even the damage to the business.
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It was realizing I was the only one being loyal to the partnership. Think about that.
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The loss wasn't financial. It wasn't emotional.
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I mean, it was emotional because trust had been broken. And trust isn't easily rebuilt.
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So why does that hurt so much? Because loyalty creates safety.
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It's the invisible agreement that says, I'm with you. I've got your back.
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You can trust me. When that agreement gets broken, uncertainty rushes in.
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Suddenly you're questioning everything, the relationship, the conversation,
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the memories, even your own judgment. And that's why betrayal hurts long after
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the event itself. Here's another story.
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A woman spent years putting everyone before herself.
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Her spouse, her children, her co-workers, her friends, everyone.
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If someone needed help, she was there.
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If someone needed support, she'd show up. If someone needed a sacrifice, she volunteered.
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Then one day she looked in the mirror and realized she couldn't remember the
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last time she'd done something for herself.
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And it's not because she was selfish. It's because she had spent years abandoning her own needs.
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And tears rolled down her face, and she said something heartbreaking.
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I've been loyal to everyone except me.
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How many of us are living out there right now like that?
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How many people give everything to everyone and don't think about ourselves?
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You know you're out there.
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Maybe you are. Maybe I am. Maybe you've become so committed to being everything
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for someone else that you've forgotten how to be something for yourself. you.
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And then there's a story I personally know. A season of life when I compromise small things.
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Nothing dramatic. Tiny compromises. A conversation I should have but avoided.
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A boundary I should have protected but weakened.
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A truth I should have spoken but softened.
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At first it seemed harmless, but compromise is a strange way of multiplying.
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One small compromise becomes another. Then another.
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And then one day you wake up wondering why you no longer recognize yourself.
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Not because anybody betrayed you, but because you slowly betrayed your own standards.
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And that's the kind of disloyalty nobody sees. But it may be the most dangerous kind of all.
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The reality is this. Struggle is everywhere, folks.
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People betray partners. Friends betray confidence. Leaders betray trust.
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Employees betray teams. people betray themselves, and often the reason is surprisingly simple.
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Fear. Fear of missing out. Fear of losing status.
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Fear of being uncomfortable. Fear of telling truth. Fear of consequences.
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When fear becomes the decision maker, loyalty becomes expendable.
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And that's where destruction begins.
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What took me years to understand. Disloyalty rarely starts with a dramatic act.
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It starts with a small choice. A choice that seems insignificant.
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A choice we convince ourself doesn't matter. Imagine a foundation underneath a house.
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One tiny crappy appears. Nope. No big guilt.
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Then another. For months it looks fine. But underneath, the structure is weakening.
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That is how disloyalty works.
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Its damage begins long before the collapse becomes visible. So here's a few
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ways that disloyalty affects you, okay?
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Here we go. Disloyalty destroys trust before it destroys relationships.
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Most people think relationships end because trust was broken.
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In reality, relationships often begin ending the moment trust starts eroding.
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Trust is like a bank account.
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Every promise kept is a deposit, every act of integrity is a deposit every honest
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conversation is a deposit but every lie withdrawal,
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a broken promise withdrawal, act of betrayal withdrawal and eventually the account
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runs empty and suddenly the relationship is bankrupt and.
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Corrupt. That's what the word is. Not overnight, over time.
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I mean, when you think about everyday life, a spouse says they'll be home and doesn't call.
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A manager says they'll support the team and then disappears during a crisis.
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A friend shares something confidential. Someone repeats it.
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The action may seem small, but what's against damage is much larger. Trust.
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And once trust leaves the room, everything else becomes harder.
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Communication, connection, collaboration, all of it.
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Okay? There's something else disloyalty does. Disloyalty creates doubt that spreads.
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Disloyalty is rarely contained. It spreads like a drop of ink in clear water.
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One betrayal creates questions.
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And if they lied about this, what else have they lied about?
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And if they talked about somebody else behind their back, would they do the same about me?
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If they abandoned their values once, would they do it again?
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A single act can create hundreds of questions.
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That's the hidden cost.
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Another thing disloyalty does, especially self-disloyalty.
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Self-disloyalty is often the root cause. Now, this might be the biggest lesson of all.
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People who consistently betray others have often been betraying themselves first.
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They've ignored their values. They've ignored their conscience.
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They've ignored integrity.
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They've ignored truth. Eventually, it becomes easier to compromise externally
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because they've already compromised internally. Think of integrity like a muscle.
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You use it constantly, and it grows stronger. Ignore it long enough, and often, it weakens.
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And here's the aha moment, words for playing.
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Disloyalty isn't measured by what you gain. It's measured by what you lose while gaining it.
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You might gain the promotion, you lose your integrity.
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You might gain approval, but you lose authenticity. You might gain temporary
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comfort, but you lose self-respect.
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The question isn't what did you get? The question is, what did it cost?
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I mean, endgame, what did it cost? Everything, right?
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So here's some research from the Edelman Trust Barometer has constantly shown
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that trust is one of the strongest predictors of healthy relationships,
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effective relationships, and organizational performance. Think about that.
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Trust isn't a soft skill. It's not a bonus feature. It's not an operating system.
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But without trust, everything becomes slower, harder, more stressful.
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People stop collaborating, stop communicating, stop believing.
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Trust isn't everything, but when it's gone, it feels like everything.
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And while we're at it, let's talk about trust issues. If you've ever refreshed
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your email six times in 60 seconds waiting for someone to respond,
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congratulations, you've participated in one of humanity's least productive hobbies.
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We've all been there. Here's another one. You know that inner voice?
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Mine occasionally acts like a lawyer trying to argue every possible worst-case
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scenario. No evidence, no facts, just pure confidence.
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Disloyalty from other people is painful.
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But sometimes our own imagination deserves an honorable mention for creating
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drama where none exists.
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Right? So now here's where everything changes. Because this episode isn't meant to leave you angry.
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It's meant to leave you aware Disloyalty does destroy But it also teaches But
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only if we're willing to learn.
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The lesson is about protecting trust more carefully or about becoming the kind
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of person whose words mean something or about recognizing when we've compromised our own values.
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Maybe the lesson's about forgiveness. Not because someone deserves it.
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Because someone carrying bitterness forever is exhausting.
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One of the greatest truths I've learned is this. Trust is built in drops and loss in buckets.
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Trust is built in drops and loss in buckets.
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Which means every day matters. Every conversation matters. Every small decision
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matters. Character isn't revealed during one giant moment.
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It's revealed through thousands of tiny choices.
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You don't become loyal when life is easy. You become loyal when loyalty costs everything.
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I mean, you know, I mean, when telling the truth is uncomfortable,
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when doing the right thing isn't popular, when integrity requires sacrifice,
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that's when character speaks.
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And here's a perspective that changed my life. Loyalty is not blind agreement.
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Loyalty is courageous honesty.
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And the most loyal friend isn't the one who tells you what you want to hear.
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It's the one who tells you the truth with love.
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The most loyal leader isn't the one who avoids a difficult conversation He has it. He faces it.
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He has them The most loyal partner isn't perfect But it's the one that chooses
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honesty even when honesty is hard.
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One, I want you to remember. The people who deserve your trust are the people
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whose actions repeatedly match their words.
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Let me read that again. The people who deserve your trust are the people whose
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actions repeatedly match their words.
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Not occasionally, repeatedly. Consistency builds confidence.
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Consistency builds safety.
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Consistency builds trust.
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And perhaps most importantly, be that person for yourself.
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It's you. Keep promises to yourself. Honor your values. Protect your integrity.
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Because self-respect grows every time you do.
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Okay, let's wrap this up with a simple exercise called the trust mirror. Okay?
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So do this for me. Grab a notebook or open your notes app, whichever one you want to do.
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And I want you to do these three steps, okay? You ready? Step one.
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I want you to make two lists on one sheet of paper.
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The first list is called promises I expect others to keep.
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Promises I expect others to keep. The second list is called promises I make to myself.
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Promises I make to myself. Compare them.
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Okay? Step two, circle the promises to yourself that you've been neglecting. Which one is it?
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Exercise, boundaries, goals, health, dreams, honesty, anything?
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Anything. Notice what stands out.
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Step three, choose one promise, just one, and honor it within the next 24 hours.
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Not next week, not next month, today.
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Build trust with yourself through action.
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So as we close out today, remember this. Disloyalty destroys far more than we think.
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It destroys trust, confidence, relationship, credibility, and when left unchecked,
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it can destroy our connections to ourselves.
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But loyalty, real loyalty, loyalty creates the opposite.
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Trust, security, freedom, connection, peace.
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The goal isn't perfection. None of us are perfect. The goal is integrity.
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To be the kind of person whose actions and values walk in the same direction.
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Because at the end of the day, people may forget what you accomplished.
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They may forget what you own. They may forget what you achieved,
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but they will always remember whether they can trust you.
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And there's the final question I want to leave you with.
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If the people closest to you learn how to be loyal by watching your example, what would they learn?
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Sit with that. Let it challenge you. Let it inspire you. Most importantly, let it guide you.
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Thank you so much for listening. Please like and subscribe to our podcast for
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more motivational content.
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Follow us on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, threads, and TikTok for more inspiration.
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And pick up the book, The Ways of Compromise, out now.
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If you're looking for a read that pushes you to think differently about your
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decisions, this is the book for you. Until next time, remember this.
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Trust is earned slowly, lost quickly, and rebuilt intentionally.
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Intentionally.
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Guard it well. Thank you so much for listening to Catalyst Motivational Podcast.
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We'll see you next time. Go be great.