ABOUT THIS EPISODE
The chase continues across the spaghetti junctions of the M6. Can Gavin and Chip escape the lorry that's been tailing them
or will they be pushed off the road to face a fiery death on the hard shoulder.
Geoff the Baker advises that there could be some confusion with the small print about him on the last episode, and
would like to point out that he is not a vampire, he just enjoys merlot.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.uk
#britishcomedy #comedyseries #ukcomedy #storytelling #comedyvideo #funny #catnoir #scary #silly #surreal
Buy the Creeping Jazz novel here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Novel-Story-Creeping-Jazz/dp/B0GHJQJCKZ
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SCENE FOUR: LOCAL GARAGE
Gavin and chip are inside the shop. Mr Boombastic, the owner, is behind the counter. Gavin throws some items before him. There is horrible shop music playing.
GAVIN: Here you go mate.
MR BOOMBASTIC: One a penny, two a penny, hot crossed buns.
GAVIN: What? You? How are you here. I met you in the last garage I went to. 50 miles ago.
MR BOOMBASTIC: What. I own this garage and only this one garage. Not a second garage. Just one. Right here. You are standing in the only garage I own as I do not have a second one.
GAVIN: Glad you made that clear. Thank you. We've met before.
MR BOOMBASTIC: We have not.
GAVIN: I know you, you sing.
MR BOOMBASTIC: I don't normally do that, but if you want me to, I will. Prepare yourself for an aural onslaught.
GAVIN: Talk about déjà vu.
MR BOOMBASTIC: I do not know that song. The only French song I know is 99 red balloons.
GAVIN: That's German. No, I mean we met this morning and had this same conversation.
MR BOOMBASTIC: My brother owes a garage like this fifty miles away. He also likes to sing. Although, of course he can't. He will tell you that he wants to be on TV. (plugs in a microphone) I do not want to be on TV but I do, have the voice of (with reverb) an angel.
GAVIN: Yes, certainly something that's died. Hey, Chip, come here!
CHIP: What?
GAVIN: You won't believe this.
Chip walks to the counter. He places items on the counter throughout the next exchange.
MR BOOMBASTIC: Chip?
CHIP: Hello.
MR BOOMBASTIC: No, I was offering you a chip.
CHIP: Oh. That just happens to be my name too.
MR BOOMBASTIC: My name isn't chip.
CHIP: (sighs) This guy is hard work.
GAVIN: Says you.
CHIP: What does that mean?
GAVIN: You are Mr Hard work city.
CHIP: I'm not a place where people live mate.
MR BOOMBASTIC: And neither am I. Although my middle name is Potter's Bar.
GAVIN: I do sometimes wonder if I'm trapped in some kind of comedy series.
CHIP: Hmm. As the straight man.
GAVIN: Yes. What?
CHIP: Gonna grab some snacks.
Chip wanders off and starts throwing bags of sweets onto the counter.
MR BOOMBASTIC: Very funny. This friend of yours Mr Chips. He knows what is right and wrong.
GAVIN: Mr Chips?
MR BOOMBASTIC: Yes, sorry… what is Mr Chips doing?
GAVIN: I don't know. Say what you see.
MR BOOMBASTIC: He is putting bags and bags of sweets on my counter. He is filling up the whole counter. Now he has filled the middle square. Is he going to buy them?
CHIP: It's a good guess, but it's not quite right. Gavin's going to buy them for me. He owes me after I saved his life AGAIN.
GAVIN: I don't think that's true and I'm not buying you sweets.
MR BOOMBASTIC: I would buy him sweets if he saved my life.
GAVIN: Well you are not me.
Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy
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