Trust the Process

WEBVTT
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The view, stories, and opinions shared on caregiving and conversations are my own.
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The experiences I discuss are personal and honest reflections of my caregiving journey and genuine feelings.
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They are shared with transparency and authenticity and should never be interpreted as a lack of love, respect, or care for my loved ones.
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The view, stories, and opinions expressed by guests on this podcast are entirely their own and do not necessarily reflect those of caregiving and conversations or its whole experiences and information shared are intended for educational and informational purposes only.
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They are not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
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Always seek the guidance of your physician or another qualified health care provider regarding any medical condition or health-related concerns.
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Thank you for listening and welcome to Caregiving and Conversations.
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Welcome to Caregiving and Conversations with Mr.
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Tiffan Filter.
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Let's have a seat.
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Let's chat.
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I have a special guest today.
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I have Latanya.
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And Latina, she wears many hats.
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She is a mother.
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She's a wife.
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She's a lala.
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She's a caregiver.
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She's an entrepreneur.
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She just has many hats.
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And actually, before I get started, before I get started, Latanya, how are you today?
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Hello.
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Hello.
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I'm good.
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Actually, I'm really good.
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Good.
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So before we get started, I like to do what I call my two-word check-in.
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And this is you just checking in with yourself, being intentional about how you are actually feeling, but you cannot use the word fine.
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So, Latanya, how are you feeling today?
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Accomplished and motivated.
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Oh girl, look, it's only 1118.
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What are you doing?
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That is great.
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Um, my two words today.
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I am I'm actually content today, and I'm a little sleepy.
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I went out last night on a school night, and so I'm a little tired.
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I had to put um some of those puppy eye mask things on to get rid of.
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But we here.
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Yes, yes, we are.
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So I met Latanya, you guys.
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Um, she actually saw a podcast that I did, and she reached out and she was like, Hey, can I come on and tell my story?
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And then Latanya and I chatted.
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And when I tell you, we had so much fun on that conversation.
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I was like, Oh my god, I can't wait to get her on the podcast.
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So here she is, Latanya.
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How's it been going since I think we talked about about a month ago, maybe?
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It doesn't seem like it was that long, right?
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It's like we flow so naturally, it was just natural.
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We know went off on trips and everything else.
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Oh no, I love it.
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I love it.
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I love the fact that this caregiving community is growing, and what we're doing, what I'm finding out is there are tons of people who are caregivers, and we all have some of the same stories.
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Um, they might look a little different, but the running theme is the same.
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So before um we start getting into your real caregiving journey, and as I mentioned in the intro, you wear many hats.
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Um yeah, because we're gonna get into how you do that.
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Um, but who who is Latanya outside of all the many hats that you wear?
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Tell me a little about yourself.
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Um, I would say definitely uh go-getter.
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Um uh what they call a lifelong learner.
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I'm always going to school for something, getting a certification, exploring, doing my due diligence research.
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I'm always doing something to be educated around whatever it is that caught my interest for whatever reason.
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Um, I would say a boss.
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My husband probably would say bossy.
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Um, I enjoy helping people, you know.
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I'm an Aquarius, right?
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We we love people, but we don't like people.
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That's funny.
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Uh yeah, I would say definitely those those those words I would characterize myself.
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Okay, I love it.
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I love it, I love it.
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And and there is something about being bossy, right?
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When you're a caregiver, and especially you, you wear so many different hats, you have to balance it all with what you're doing.
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Um, I heard the term sandwich generation.
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So you are caring for your mother, and then you also have children that you're caring for.
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Um, how many children and grandchildren are we are we talking over here?
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Oh six.
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We have a blended family um and three grandbabies.
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Um, but funny story, uh, I've been knowing my husband since I was 14.
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I want to say 14, 15.
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And so um his oldest, our oldest, I'm gonna call her ours.
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She belongs to me too.
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Um, when her mom uh was pregnant with her, I was knowing her because we both worked at the same 7-Eleven.
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So I always tease her and say, Hey, I've been knowing you since you've even known yourself, literally.
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Um, and she's the one that's married with the three grandbabies.
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They call me Lolly and they call him Pop, Lolly Pop.
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Oh, Lolly Pop.
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Okay, I know it.
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Yeah, so it's um she's the oldest, and then it's a 27-year-old, 21, and then the ones I birthed are 20, 15, and 13.
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And he and I have the 15 and 13-year-old together.
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So all right, all right, wow, blended family, caregiving.
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Um, that's a lot.
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Yeah, it keeps but but you're doing it right, and that's that's what you do.
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You have the mini hats on, and part of that is you have to be bossy because you have to make sure those kids are doing what they need to do.
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You have to make sure that you're doing what you need to do, your mom is being taken care of, and also your husband.
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Don't tell him I said it, but I'm sure you hear the nine.
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It'll be all right.
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It'll be all right.
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All right, so um, how long have you been caregiving for your mom?
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I've had mom going on twelve, I want to say almost 12 years now.
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Um, she was diagnosed at 62, should be 74 next month, October.
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Okay, and yeah, once um the diagnosis took place, uh conversation was had between myself and siblings.
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Who does she want to live with?
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And she explained who she did not want to live with.
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We're gonna talk about that later.
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I was very adamant about it, and so I was like, okay, I guess it's me, huh?
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You know, so yeah, I've had her um yeah, about 11, 12 years now.
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Yeah.
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All right, and so when you had to make that decision um being married and with your kids, was it like a family meeting?
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Did you bring your husband in?
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Did you talk to the children about it?
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It's uh funny because, and my husband and I we talk about this all the time.
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We were we were always that house of let's go to their house for help, or I guess the caregiving house, let's be honest, even though mom caregiving is a different, you know, in a different capacity, but everyone at one point of uh of time have um definitely benefited from our stability.
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And I'm not saying that you know we think we're better than it's none of that, but we've always been that house of stability.
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So because at one point we've had his mom um that she was going through some, you know, some things, and we helped her out to take care of her, and God bless, she's doing her thing now.
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And then um we've had, you know, his cousins and my niece and my nephew, my great niece and great nephew, my my nephew uh was hit by an 18-wheeler, broke every bone in his body.
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Yeah, it was bad.
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And because we had a flatter surface for the wheelchair, you know, he's walking, he's a police officer now, he's doing amazing.
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But we had him, you know, taking him to rehab.
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And so our home has always had that safety net or that feel, I guess.
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And I always say maybe that was our calling, you know, from God.
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Maybe God had put us in this role to be able to really take in everyone, my sister, my brother, his children at one point in and out when he was going through some things with his wife, but he's you know, he's good now.
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Um, but yeah, everyone has at one point or another benefit from our stability in this home.
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So bring your mom in, it was just kind of natural to just say, okay, well, you know, here it is.
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And thank God for my husband.
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He's he calls my mom his new woman.
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I'm not his woman anymore.
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I think I need to, I need to get I need to get your husband on a podcast.
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Yeah, he's hilarious.
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But uh, so yeah, it was just a natural transition.
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It was, you know, something that we could not say no to.
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Why is everybody texting me now?
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Um uh something we can say, you know, we couldn't say no to.
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Um, he was there when the conversation was had and she, you know, um chose us as the home.
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And he was like, all right, we got the house together.
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I mean, not really fully understanding Alzheimer's.
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We really, you know, didn't know what came with it.
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Um, but yeah, it's just a natural transition, honestly.
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Yeah.
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Okay, and the kids were so little.
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Um, she was my grandnanny, taking them back and forth to preschool.
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So they already knew, and then they spent a lot of time with her as well when she was living on her own.
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Um, so she had a really close relationship.
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So that was a natural transition too, because she was so active in their lives anyway, that her coming with us was just like, oh, grandma's in the house.
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Okay, cool, you know.
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Okay, so that, okay, one so many things in just that.
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But one of the things I want to say is I think in every family there's always that stability house.
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There's always that house, there's always that family that people can go to.
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I know my mom's house was we any day there would be somebody at our house.
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I could be, you know, from I remember being in middle school and I would come home from school and there would be somebody there.
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And I'm like, like, who, why, what, what?
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And then even just like as we got into high school and after, you know, me and my brothers, even their friends would come to the house and they would be there for days on out.
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And it just became and so our house was one of the stability houses.
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Um, so I thought we froze.
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Oh, I can see you.
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I can hear you.
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Can you hear me?
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Can you hear me?
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I think we froze up.
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I hear you.
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Can you hear me now?
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Yeah, okay.
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It has stopped that you said that you know your brother's friends were coming over and then it fell.
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Yeah, yeah.
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So yeah, girl, look.
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Um so there's always the family, right?
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There's always a family um that has the stability, I call it the safe space to land.
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Um, and so that's great.
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But one of the things that you said, and you talked about the transition being easy from um your grandnanny and then the kids being there and knowing your mom as the grandnanny and helping you out.
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Now all of a sudden she's living with you and she can't help.
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How was that transition?
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Like, what were some of the things?
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Because you were working at the time, right?
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Yeah.
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When this took place.
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So, how was that transition of bringing your mom in and now finding care for your for your children?
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Um, at this point, I think we still really didn't understand the severity of the disease.
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Um, because we would still leave her um in the house, you know, with the children and um allowing her to drive.
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And we started seeing a pattern of constantly washing like the same clothes over and over.
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And my daughter would go to school with the same outfit.
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And it was like, hmm, okay, let's help you out a little bit.
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So uh I would lay them out, but she would still find the same outfit type of thing.
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And then um once we started noticing more forgetfulness of how to get to take them home and things of the nature.
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My husband's an entrepreneur, he has a construction company, so he was able to be more flexible and the schedule to kick in, um, you know, to make sure that the kids were wherever they were supposed to be.
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Once they transitioned into like full-time school, the bus stop was literally my driveway.
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And now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, ooh, God is amazing how he makes things work, um, and how things like came to be because that's an awesome question.
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I never thought about that until you said this, but things were in order and where it was supposed to be, where really didn't become so difficult.
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Okay.
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What do I mean by that?
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Our driveway was literally the bus stop.
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So the kids knew how to come in, press the button to go through the garage and get in the house.
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It was no walking, you know, they they understood what to do.
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Um, and then the flexibility of my husband's schedule, being able to get home in time to take care of a lot of the things and make sure mom is good.
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Um, so that's an excellent question.
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I just don't feel like it was, I think as she progressed, it just naturally everything just kind of fell into play.
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Yeah, if that makes any sense.
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You know what I mean?
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Absolutely, absolutely 100%.
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I know several people who um are caring for parents or some a loved one with Alzheimer's dementia, and they were still leaving the kids with, you know, either the grandkids or kids, um, because there's part of that loved one that is still there that can still do it.
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You're seeing them and they look normal and they talk in normal, but then you're like, wait, that's not that's not.
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And I remember um I remember when my mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and at this time, so she had her diagnosis, but she didn't have her first real flare-up where she couldn't walk or do just difficulties with walking at the time.
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But I remember um she was driving my car.
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And at the time I was a flight attendant, and I left my car at the house, and she was driving my car, and I came back and the front was smashed.
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And I was like, What happened to my car?
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And she was like, Oh, I was driving, and I couldn't find the uh brake pedal, so she hit something, and I was like, You couldn't find and then that moment I was like, We need to take the keys from her, she can't drive anymore.
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And you talk about a difficult decision to tell one, especially a parent, what they can't do.
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Um because for me, it wasn't it had nothing to do about the car in that moment, it was everything about the safety of her and anyone else um in that moment.
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But having that discussion, I don't even know.
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I don't even think now you would now that I'm thinking back on it, I don't think I even had the discussion.
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I think I just took keys.
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Oh no, my cussed us all the way out, clean out.
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So my mom didn't cuss, but she cussed in her own way.
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Yeah, yeah, clear words, but she you you could always tell when she was mad.
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Like she she she my mama would get an attitude.
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Um to me, I could deal with her attitude, I could deal with her attitude if it's gonna mean the safety.
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Um so I just want to ask this question.
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So your kids literally are growing up watching you and your your husband care for their their grandma.
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Um and they jumped in, they jump in like so thinking back on it.
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Let's see, um, my youngest is 13.
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We have mom, what, 11 years?
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So she was two, and then the other one was four at the time, and then my oldest was nine.
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Um, so like you said, yeah, they literally they remember her.
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The oldest one definitely remembers her prior to this.
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The younger two, you know, so I think most of their life has been where she is, you know, uh, with this disease and seeing us like caring for her.
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But now they jump right in, like they know, you know, my son picks her up like she's a doll because mom's so tiny, she's 70 pounds, you know.
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So he'll pick her up and like do exercises with her, like like as if she's the dumbbell or something, you know.
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And I'm like, stop, she's still, you know, you're gonna break her or whatever.
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Um, and they, you know, they help with the with making sure she eats and they'll do everything but bathroom.
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They're like, no, we're not doing that.
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Okay, okay.
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All right.
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So do you think um that has helped them being more patient and compassionate?
00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:50.240
They're building that as yeah, I think there's it's a lot of responsibility, but I think there's some character building when it comes to kids watching that.
00:17:50.400 --> 00:18:00.720
I mean, I I look at just me and my siblings, and I could talk about all my cousins and stuff who have watched, you know, caregiving within the family, but I'll only speak on me and my siblings.
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:02.960
There has been a level of patience.
00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:35.200
I probably was the least patient before, but became you know, very patient and caregiving, and it and it is a uh character-building trait that comes along with caregiving and like just and then when you have it at a young age, oh definitely, and when you get it at a young age, even just watching people when they interact with their own friends, I'm sure you see some of that caregiving there and the patience and and more empathy and understanding because they deal with it on a daily basis in the home.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:41.440
Yeah, they they are very um well, I can't say much about the 15-year-old.
00:18:41.519 --> 00:18:42.400
He's no nonsense.
00:18:42.480 --> 00:18:53.839
He he's like, no, we're not doing my oldest and the other one, they they're very unbothered, you know, especially when it comes to conflict with whatever school, whatever the case may be.
00:18:54.000 --> 00:19:05.680
Um, it it would it will take a lot for them to just be like, okay, you know what, you know, or like you said, but the infinity, like my daughter was saying yesterday, she said uh one of the kids at the school um is autistic.
00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:07.920
And she was like, that's my bestie.
00:19:08.079 --> 00:19:15.039
Um, the other kids kind of not being kids, not necessarily bullying, but not the nicest, being kids.
00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:15.200
Yeah.
00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:21.200
And my kid, you know, she's like, Yeah, and I just took her in because she's just higher level, she just thinks differently.
00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:21.599
That's all.
00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:23.759
And I just have girls, she's my new bestie.
00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:26.160
And I'm like, that is so sweet of you, you know.
00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:31.039
Um, but she she has mentioned that she has noticed that other kids start to fall in line.
00:19:31.119 --> 00:19:36.480
Like, my kid is not necessarily the popular one, but she's not necessarily the non-popular one either.
00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:38.720
She's kind of like that kid that gets along with everyone.
00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:44.240
So seeing her, based on what she told me yesterday, interact with this, you know, kid.
00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:47.359
Um, other people are starting to, oh, okay.
00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:48.319
Oh, okay.
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:49.440
Well, she is pretty cool.
00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:50.559
Okay, you know what I mean?
00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:51.839
And just falling in line.
00:19:51.920 --> 00:19:56.880
So yeah, I could definitely see those characters, those characteristics building in all three of them.
00:19:57.039 --> 00:19:59.279
Um, my middle one is no nonsense.
00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:05.599
But he will be the one to take care of everyone, you know, but he's very much so no nonsense.
00:20:05.839 --> 00:20:12.640
You say he's gonna say what he has to say, straightforward, whatever, but he's the one to take care of everything too.
00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:12.960
Yeah.
00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:14.160
I would love to come back.
00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:24.000
Look, I would love to come back in five years and see what we see where how they all have uh progressed and and if any if there's any role changes that have taken place.
00:20:24.240 --> 00:20:27.759
So because you wear so many hats, do you ever take a hat off?
00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:30.000
Are you able to take all the hats off?
00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:31.920
Are you able to just sit and rest?
00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:42.000
That's why this taping is happening a month after we recorded.
00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:44.160
You had so much going on.
00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:46.160
It was insane.
00:20:46.319 --> 00:20:50.799
Even today, you know, the little one with his 102 tip, you know, he just walked upstairs.
00:20:50.880 --> 00:20:54.960
He looked in a little battery, all is well, just a virus or something's going around.
00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:56.240
So he's okay.
00:20:56.400 --> 00:21:04.640
But even though I have all this energy right now, probably because I'm on this podcast with you, but um, I've been because I had to keep checking on him and making sure he was okay.
00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:10.960
And, you know, the temperature wasn't dropping, and I'm throwing cold towels on him in the middle of the night and just coming in there, like, how you feeling now?
00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:11.759
How you feeling now?
00:21:11.920 --> 00:21:14.960
Giving him water and keeping him hydrated, you know.
00:21:15.119 --> 00:21:17.200
Um, so I don't know.
00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:18.559
Um, I get my rest.
00:21:18.799 --> 00:21:20.079
My mother-in-law, bless her heart.
00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:23.599
She'll come over and sit with my mom, help out a lot.
00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:29.920
Um, you know, the husband, if mom is sundowning for whatever reason, he's a night owl, so he's up with her.
00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:34.960
Um, and it's really honestly been us three, you know, to be full transparent.
00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:37.039
It's been us three and the and the and the kids.
00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:39.039
Unfortunately, my siblings.
00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:45.440
And but you know, I'm not gonna put them out there on the podcast, but no, they're gonna help.
00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:52.480
Um, so it I really've been leaning on those two individuals tremendously.
00:21:52.559 --> 00:22:01.680
You know, um, a friend of mine is having a party in Jersey next month or November, and so my husband's like, all right, he Ready, you know, so he's gonna take mama.
00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:14.160
So little things like that helps a lot tremendously, you know, is is needed, but I don't think I ever ever take off my hat because I'm always constantly thinking about even when I had to go out of town before for a funeral, I was still calling.
00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:17.759
I was looking on the cameras, my husband took the cameras down, like, nope, and I'm like, really?
00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:19.279
Did you take the cameras?
00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:24.960
Dirk, you know, he's like, nope, you're gone, you know, relax.
00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:26.400
We're good, we're good.
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:31.519
So even when I try to take the hats off, I really don't, yeah, yeah.
00:22:31.839 --> 00:22:39.599
So what I'm gonna challenge you, um, I'm challenging all my caregivers is to find an hour for yourself in the day.
00:22:39.839 --> 00:22:42.319
I don't care if that's just you sitting.
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:46.400
Um, I don't care if that's you going out taking a one-hour walk.
00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:48.960
I don't care if that's you just taking a nap.
00:22:49.359 --> 00:22:52.160
Um, just take an hour for yourself.
00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:54.960
You, you, you, you need it, you deserve it.
00:22:55.119 --> 00:22:56.799
Um, because you have to pour into yourself.
00:22:56.880 --> 00:23:04.559
You pour so many, and you are literally pouring into so many different people that you have to be able to pour into yourself first.
00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:11.359
So that's my that's my challenge to you, and I'll be checking on you, talking about did you get an hour today?
00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:16.559
Um let's let's let's transition a little.
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:22.960
Um, so when we had talked before, you were getting ready to um have a wellness event.
00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:23.680
Oh, yeah.
00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:26.559
Tell me, tell me a little about your wellness event.
00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:28.079
It was awesome, actually.
00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:29.359
I have to send you the video.
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:32.559
I'm trying to act like I don't know about it.
00:23:32.799 --> 00:23:33.440
Oh, that's right.
00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:34.720
I'm gonna send you the video.
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:35.279
Wink.
00:23:35.599 --> 00:23:42.559
Um, so it took place August 15th um in Lumbar, Illinois, at the Lumbar Community Center.
00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:50.720
We had 17 vendors, 17 vendors, 94 people um signed in and came through.
00:23:50.799 --> 00:23:53.359
Um, so was able to reach 94 families.
00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:54.720
That was pretty amazing.
00:23:54.799 --> 00:24:06.880
Um, received a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of feedback of how amazing it was and how exciting for a first-time event, and um all the resources was very beneficial.
00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:11.359
Like we received a lot of feedback asking when the second one, when are you gonna have a second one?
00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:13.200
And we we secured a date.
00:24:13.279 --> 00:24:19.839
Yay! Um so yeah, we were able to collaborate with the local school district out here, the superintendent.
00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:20.559
She's amazing.
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:38.960
She was one of the speakers, and so we're going to have it at one of their facilities and make it a little bigger with classrooms having speakers and people uh can actually go sit and learn some things about caregiving and you know, uh some strategies and some tips uh from different organizations.
00:24:39.119 --> 00:24:41.839
And so it's gonna be June 20th, 2027.
00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:44.720
Yes, that is Father's Day on a Sunday.
00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:48.160
And I laughed because I was like, I mean, do we really celebrate Father's Day?
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:48.799
I'm just playing.
00:24:48.960 --> 00:24:49.359
That's me.
00:24:49.759 --> 00:24:55.200
But uh bring your father out to have a good time.
00:24:55.279 --> 00:24:56.799
We have some things lined up.
00:24:56.880 --> 00:24:59.599
So yeah, we're preparing and getting that all organized.
00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:00.799
But it was exciting.
00:25:00.880 --> 00:25:07.279
I was really, really, really honored that 94 people were able to come out and really get the information needed.
00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:17.759
And um yeah, uh a couple of them were saying this is the first time that they were able to, you know, be in the room with where a question asked of where do I start?
00:25:17.839 --> 00:25:24.079
So, like the department imaging was there, it was senior services there and you know, asking about financial pieces of it.
00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:27.599
So I had two financial facilities that was there or home care services.
00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:29.440
I had some home care services people there.
00:25:29.599 --> 00:25:44.880
So I tried to think like a caregiver in a position of I don't know what to do, and answer those questions by trying to have as many of those resources or those people there to answer that I don't know what to do question.
00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:53.039
You know, I had a funeral home there, which is rare, excuse me, you know, so but end of life services is real.
00:25:53.759 --> 00:25:54.720
I'm so sorry.
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:56.799
Sorry.
00:25:57.039 --> 00:26:01.200
Um, and then like the gift of hope was there, so it was a good time.
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:04.319
Hold on one second.
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:04.880
I'm sorry.
00:26:05.119 --> 00:26:06.480
Nope, you're fine.
00:26:13.759 --> 00:26:15.279
Okay, okay, yeah.
00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:16.880
Been a busy morning already.
00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:19.759
I'm like everything's happening.
00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:22.480
I got a hydration drink here.
00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:26.640
I should have brought my water in here, but you want to go get it?
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:28.400
You want to go get it?
00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:29.920
I have the hubby get it for me.
00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:30.799
Oh, thank you though.
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:31.119
Okay.
00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:35.920
Um so okay, you said June 20th, 2027.
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:45.119
Let me see if we can get caregiving and conversations there and and and set up a room because we already talked about some other stuff that we might start working on.
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:55.359
So, you know, and that's what I like about this um so far with the podcast is being able to meet so many different people and see what other people are doing.
00:26:55.519 --> 00:27:01.519
Um, and a wellness event is for you know, for caregiving is great because a lot of people have that.
00:27:01.759 --> 00:27:02.559
Where do I start?
00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:13.599
I remember when my mom became, it was like she was diagnosed, but then there was like two years maybe where she was still able to be on her own.
00:27:13.839 --> 00:27:15.200
Yeah, or independent, yeah.
00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:18.880
Yeah, and then she had a flare-up, and it was kind of like, whoa.
00:27:19.359 --> 00:27:20.640
Yeah, what is coming from?
00:27:20.960 --> 00:27:28.079
Yeah, like she was still working at the time, and I remember I was like, Well, does she take short-term disability?
00:27:28.240 --> 00:27:31.839
What about what about, oh, wait a minute, what about life insurance?
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:33.920
Oh, wait, what about her medical insurance?
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:34.640
What do I do?
00:27:34.799 --> 00:27:57.920
And you know, at the time there was a big thing going on, and um, Social Security was denying a lot of people's claims who were disabled at the time, and you had to file an appeal and you had to get lawyers and all that, and you talked about you know things just working out, and I remember going through the process and I got the letter that she was approved the first time around, and I was like, thank god, right?
00:27:58.160 --> 00:27:59.440
Yeah, that's a blessing.
00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:10.880
It took me to get three years, I think, for my three years, it would be immediately, and then um but knowing where to start because you're just sitting there.
00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:16.640
Um, I do have a guest that's coming on in a couple of she'll be on shortly.
00:28:16.799 --> 00:28:24.319
Um but she has a book about where to start, what to do, and I can't wait to dig into that interview too.
00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:35.599
Um but yeah, having these events and caregiving, I know at my church, um, there's been a lot of people talking about caregiving and you know, coming into caregiving.
00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:41.279
And so um my pastor um agreed to do a caregiving summit.
00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:46.000
And I walked in in April, I think.
00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:47.200
March or April.
00:28:47.359 --> 00:29:01.680
And I remember walking in because I'm thinking, oh, it's just gonna be like, you know, a few people in here, and there were over 500 people who signed up and over 50 different vendors there in the caregiving space and what to do and this and that.
00:29:01.759 --> 00:29:09.440
And I looked around this room and it was one amazing to see so many people stepping into the caregiving role.
00:29:09.599 --> 00:29:21.599
Um, but I was also like in awe on how many men were actually in the room because men are actually stepping into that caregiving role.
00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:21.839
Yeah.
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:30.000
When I look at my analytics for the podcast, I'm seeing 45% of the people who are watching are men.
00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:31.920
I'm like, wait, what?
00:29:32.799 --> 00:29:46.640
You know, that's interesting that because it sounds like um, like my husband was saying too, where is the safe space to be vulnerable as a man um in this, you know, arena, right?
00:29:47.039 --> 00:29:50.240
And he goes to, I think I told, I'm not sure if we talked about this.
00:29:50.319 --> 00:29:51.839
He goes to two groups.
00:29:52.160 --> 00:30:06.400
So he has one group that's a certain culture, and then the other group that's a certain culture, and the the mission is the same to be able to speak about you know what's going on, right?
00:30:07.279 --> 00:30:16.000
But the expression in one was a lot more accepted than it was in the other.
00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:22.079
And he's saying he just came to the conclusion like, why don't people feel that we hurt too?
00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:24.720
Like, why don't they know that we have feelings too?
00:30:24.880 --> 00:30:43.359
Or why is it perceived that men is supposed to always, you know, be this strong, no cry, no nonsense, rock when we're dealing with the same emotions as anyone else, but where's our outlet?
00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:49.200
And I just thought sat back like, hmm, because yes, he's here in it with me as well.
00:30:49.359 --> 00:31:17.759
He's seen like the not so good days when you know we have to clean up a mess, you know, or um the you know, agitations, the anxiety, the not wanting to sleep, the um just all the just the pure deterioration of she was like fist, yeah, too meek and you know, timid, and just seeing it slow deterioration in in front of you.
00:31:17.839 --> 00:31:22.319
That's a mind, that's a mental, like that plays with your mental big time.
00:31:22.480 --> 00:31:22.720
Yeah.
00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:27.039
Um so yeah, he always said that, like, where where is that safe space?
00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:35.440
So just to hear what you're saying, how they're chiming in and really, you know, coming out and really seeking that help.
00:31:35.680 --> 00:31:36.960
I'm not surprised.
00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:49.279
And I say that because of, I don't know, because I'm new to this too, and I'm seeing it, but I'm also glad to know that they are stepping up and saying, hey, we have feelings too, and we need help too, you know, absolutely.
00:31:49.759 --> 00:31:50.000
Yeah.
00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:50.720
Absolutely.
00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:52.240
And we all need a safe space.
00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:59.759
And I'm glad that you know, men are actually seeking it because a lot of times men just take it and they just go on about their day, right?
00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:06.960
But having a place for them to feel seen, um, listened to is so important.
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:13.119
And I'm glad that your husband is getting um tapping into those resources.
00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:13.440
Yeah.
00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:22.799
Again, I'm gonna have to get your husband on this podcast so I can get his perspective from just the support and you know, he's support slash also caregiving.
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:23.200
Yeah.
00:32:23.839 --> 00:32:30.079
And it's his mother-in-law, you know, that's that's that's a killer, it's his mother-in-law, not his mother, yeah.
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:48.960
So I'm single, and I remember talking to a guy that I was dating at the time, and I said, and this is when my mom, you know, was diagnosed with montical sclerosis, and I said, I want somebody to be able to love my mom the way that I love her.
00:32:49.039 --> 00:32:50.880
And he was like, Oh, that'll never happen.
00:32:51.200 --> 00:32:53.359
Girl, let me let me tell you.
00:32:53.759 --> 00:32:54.720
Red flag.
00:32:55.759 --> 00:32:57.440
And this is why we're not together, sir.
00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:06.160
But overall, you know, a nice guy.
00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:08.880
But when you start thinking about this, it's reality.
00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:10.400
Like, my mom is gonna be here.
00:33:10.480 --> 00:33:12.319
Like, I don't know what it's gonna look like.
00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:17.359
This is at the beginning stages of her multiple sclerosis, so the decline is gonna happen.
00:33:17.680 --> 00:33:26.799
Um and if I need you to take her to the doctors and ask the questions, like I would ask, I need you to be able to do that, whether it's love or not.
00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:36.640
But to say, oh, that's never gonna happen, like you said, that's a red flag, that's gonna stick up because anytime something happens, I'm gonna be like, But did you really do that?
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:39.039
So it is important, right?
00:33:39.119 --> 00:33:47.200
And so when they talk about, you know, finding your person, it's not just about you and your marriage, it's about the family, it's about what can happen.
00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:51.680
Like you said, you have this house that is a safe space where people can feel comfortable.
00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:56.000
That's also because of your husband, who you chose to be your husband.
00:33:56.240 --> 00:34:00.480
So, um, girl, we can go into a whole nother thing about dating and caregiving.
00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:02.720
That's not that's not what this is about.
00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:04.799
Um, so dating caregiving.
00:34:04.880 --> 00:34:06.400
That should be a next podcast.
00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:09.039
Somebody come up next.
00:34:10.159 --> 00:34:12.800
I can do that whole one by myself.
00:34:14.719 --> 00:34:15.519
Yeah, self.
00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:17.280
No, no.
00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:20.480
Oh my god, I love this.
00:34:20.719 --> 00:34:26.800
Um, so the wellness event, June 20th, 2027, in the Chicago area.
00:34:26.960 --> 00:34:34.800
When we get that, look, when we get that information, I'll make sure I plug in for my people who are gonna be watching from the Chicago area.
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:38.800
But I'm gonna make a I'm gonna I'm gonna really try to see if I can make that happen.
00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:39.760
Yes, please.
00:34:40.559 --> 00:34:45.039
And what I can, you know, what what source I can be there for.
00:34:45.440 --> 00:35:02.800
Um so in between all the roles, all the hats that you have at home, um, organizing wellness events, you're also in the process of doing something else.
00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:08.559
Oh, I'm in the process of doing a lot of stuff, but okay as a boss, as a boss.
00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:13.280
So tell me about Teresa's place.
00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:16.480
Yeah, so Teresa and how that came about.
00:35:16.719 --> 00:35:17.840
Oh, yeah, definitely.
00:35:17.920 --> 00:35:32.719
Um, Teresa's Place, Adult Day Center, um, is a day center for adults living with moderate to severe dementia or ice Alzheimer's, and maybe needing that more one-on-one intensive care.
00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:40.320
Um, so it's more than just a social, socialization environment with more personalized care.
00:35:40.960 --> 00:35:48.000
And it came about because my journey with mom, mom's middle name is Teresa, her first name is Jacqueline, but everyone calls her Teresa.
00:35:48.159 --> 00:35:49.599
I don't know, is that a southern thing?
00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:53.360
Because all of my mom's cousins, they all go by their middle name.
00:35:53.760 --> 00:35:58.079
Didn't find it out too well into my adult year that all of their names are their middle names.
00:35:58.159 --> 00:35:59.199
It's not their first names.
00:35:59.440 --> 00:36:00.400
Never knew their first names.
00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:01.199
I'm like, what?
00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:04.880
Anywho, um, they're all from Alabama, Georgia area.
00:36:05.599 --> 00:36:17.920
And so as I was on the journey with mom and she started to progress through the disease, uh, as I was reaching out, asking those questions, asking for help, she was at a specific um day center, bless their heart.
00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:20.320
They tried their best, they are trying their best.
00:36:20.480 --> 00:36:29.039
Um, but as she declined, there was not another assessment to determine her new needs.
00:36:29.519 --> 00:36:34.960
And so I was starting to be get calls because at the time I was an assistant principal in Chicago Public Schools.
00:36:35.119 --> 00:36:43.760
So I was starting to receive calls asking questions like, oh, she's a pacer, she won't sit.
00:36:44.320 --> 00:36:47.599
Could you talk to the doctor about medication?
00:36:48.400 --> 00:36:55.440
And Mike, okay, because everything is always labeled anxiety or UTI, right?
00:36:55.599 --> 00:36:56.000
Everything.
00:36:56.239 --> 00:36:57.760
Oh, they must have a UTI.
00:36:57.920 --> 00:36:59.920
Oh, their anxiety, everything, right?
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:01.679
No matter what it is, everything.
00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:15.679
And um, I did talk, speak with the doctor, they were able to prescribe her medication, but what I noticed was the medication, I did some research, had nothing to there was no health benefits.
00:37:16.239 --> 00:37:20.400
It was more to calm her, right?
00:37:20.639 --> 00:37:37.280
And so I had to sit back and think because every time I would come, she wasn't active, she was zombified, she was drugged up, she was nodding, there was no active life, you know, she's still here.
00:37:37.360 --> 00:37:39.280
Why is she sleeping half the time?
00:37:39.679 --> 00:37:45.840
And I had to ask, is this really a health benefit or is this more so to make your day easier?
00:37:46.239 --> 00:38:05.280
And I had to come to the realization, because my background is special education as well, that this is more towards making everyone else's day easier rather than having a program catering to their specific needs and accommodating their specific needs and their behaviors.
00:38:05.519 --> 00:38:08.239
And so I said, I'm taking off that crap.
00:38:09.280 --> 00:38:10.960
There is nothing else wrong with her.
00:38:11.119 --> 00:38:12.960
You know, it's just the dementia.
00:38:13.199 --> 00:38:15.039
There's no other health concerns.
00:38:15.119 --> 00:38:17.519
Now, I understand some people have health needs.
00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:18.079
I get it.
00:38:18.159 --> 00:38:21.760
This is no way, shape, or form that I'm saying, hey, take your parent off this name.
00:38:22.159 --> 00:38:23.840
I'm not saying that whatsoever.
00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:30.079
I'm speaking in terms of my personal belief and my personal experience with my mother.
00:38:30.320 --> 00:38:38.559
Um, so I started to ask, they said, Well, could you call the Department of Agent to ask if they can provide a one-on-one care?
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:44.159
Because now at this point, she was no longer able to verbalize that she had to go to the bathroom.
00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:48.639
Or, excuse me, you know, again, she paced a lot.
00:38:48.800 --> 00:38:55.440
Um, she was also um her hand coordination with the fork was becoming, you know, non-existent.
00:38:55.840 --> 00:38:57.760
Um, and so I would get a call.
00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:02.639
Hey, could you bring food, finger foods that, because we can't sit here and feed her.
00:39:02.800 --> 00:39:10.400
Even though the state pays for their meals, I was asked to bring food and her lunch and her breakfast.
00:39:10.480 --> 00:39:13.199
And I'm like, what's the problem?
00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:14.880
Well, we can't sit and feed her.
00:39:15.119 --> 00:39:23.920
Okay, just tap on the plate that'll trigger her ear, her hearing to reach for what's there, and she can use her hands.
00:39:24.239 --> 00:39:27.440
Oh, well, some of the things we have can be a little sloppy.
00:39:27.599 --> 00:39:28.559
I'll clean it up.
00:39:28.639 --> 00:39:29.280
It's okay.
00:39:29.360 --> 00:39:31.599
You know, so it was always something.
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:33.840
So I start calling around, asking questions.
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:44.159
Hey, is there a day center available to accommodate someone who needs more one-on-one care and of a higher acuity in this, you know, disease?
00:39:44.320 --> 00:39:46.719
And everyone said, no, put her in the nursing facility.
00:39:46.800 --> 00:39:49.679
The Department of Aging, no, put her in the nursing facility.
00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:53.760
And so I finally asked, why is the answer to everything a nursing facility?
00:39:53.920 --> 00:39:55.119
I have nothing wrong with that.
00:39:55.199 --> 00:39:56.480
That's just not my choice.
00:39:56.559 --> 00:40:00.400
Because to me, because she's pacing, I'm not gonna put her in the nursing facility because she's a pacer.
00:40:00.559 --> 00:40:01.360
I'm not doing that.
00:40:01.519 --> 00:40:03.039
Um, that's just for me.
00:40:03.519 --> 00:40:04.559
No one can answer.
00:40:04.639 --> 00:40:12.400
I said, so there's no day centers that once they reach a certain stage that's equipped to handle this.
00:40:12.719 --> 00:40:14.480
And she said, no.
00:40:15.440 --> 00:40:23.679
Typically, when they're at this point that my mom is in later in stages, stage five, six, seven, they're placed into a facility.
00:40:23.840 --> 00:40:26.559
And I said, Well, what about people that still need to work?
00:40:26.719 --> 00:40:28.239
Because facilities are expensive.
00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:31.039
Some of us can't afford those, you know, facilities.
00:40:31.119 --> 00:40:38.960
And mom, at the time, she was at the threshold, she can't afford it, but she can't qualify because she makes too much, but she can't afford it because she doesn't even have enough.
00:40:39.199 --> 00:40:43.599
And so I'm like, what about those individuals who are like right in that gray area?
00:40:43.760 --> 00:40:44.800
What happens with them?
00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:47.280
And it's just like, gotta make those tough choices.
00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:48.960
I said, That's crazy.
00:40:50.559 --> 00:40:51.440
You know what?
00:40:51.599 --> 00:41:01.519
We had some land that we owned, and I said, we're just gonna turn this land into an adult day center, and we're going to accommodate those individuals who are like mom.
00:41:02.239 --> 00:41:09.920
And I took, I stopped working, I had to sacrifice, I had to, you know, give up my career to take her on full time.
00:41:10.159 --> 00:41:13.679
But the blessing of the Lord is here because he has kept me.
00:41:13.840 --> 00:41:14.639
You hear me?
00:41:14.880 --> 00:41:16.800
Um, very much so.
00:41:16.960 --> 00:41:23.280
And so at Birth Teresa's place adult day center, we were able to secure multiple um grants.
00:41:23.840 --> 00:41:31.760
Um, shout out to leader Lifert, Senator Kimberly Lifert in the state of Illinois.
00:41:31.920 --> 00:41:38.639
She is the first African-American female leader of the Senate in the state of Illinois, has been nothing but amazing.
00:41:38.880 --> 00:41:44.320
She um can relate she's a similar situation with her own mother, and she jumped right on the bandwagon.
00:41:44.400 --> 00:41:46.880
Like, you are absolutely right, we need to get this going.
00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:48.400
And so, shout out to her.
00:41:48.559 --> 00:42:08.239
Uh, state rep LaShawn Ford has been amazing with helping us draft the bill that will help, you know, this piece of what's going on with our elders to make sure that people are held more accountable and set more accommodations and goals for individuals and not just feel like we just have to just stick them in the corner somewhere, let them be jogged up and let them be.
00:42:08.320 --> 00:42:12.239
No, they are still here and we need to make sure that we're taking care of them.
00:42:12.480 --> 00:42:13.920
And so now we're on this mission.
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:17.679
My husband is my contractor, whom I'm about to fire very soon.
00:42:19.840 --> 00:42:26.800
If he don't come on and pick up the pace with this building, but he's very specific and very detailed, and so I appreciate it.
00:42:26.960 --> 00:42:31.360
It's just slow with it, but I appreciate the details that he is uh when it comes to this.
00:42:31.519 --> 00:42:37.119
So, yeah, we're hoping to be up and running um spring of 2027.
00:42:37.440 --> 00:42:42.159
Um, meanwhile, I've been getting a lot of calls about help um in the home.
00:42:42.320 --> 00:42:50.000
So I actually um filled out the application to start Teresa's place um home care services as well as Teresa's Place on Wheel.
00:42:50.159 --> 00:42:56.719
So we have some things going on that's you know unfolding while we're building the bigger picture of Teresa Place Adult Day Center.
00:42:56.880 --> 00:42:58.400
So yeah, I'm excited.
00:42:58.480 --> 00:43:02.400
I think people should be able to still work while their loved one is being cared for.
00:43:02.480 --> 00:43:07.280
The end result shouldn't always have to be a nursing facility, it's super expensive.
00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:09.440
We still need to work, so drop your loved one off.
00:43:09.599 --> 00:43:12.880
I got them, and then come pick them up, just like you do your babies.
00:43:12.960 --> 00:43:14.079
It's the same thing.
00:43:15.519 --> 00:43:17.679
Oh my gosh, so hide you.
00:43:17.920 --> 00:43:27.360
That is one, congratulations to you for seeing um seeing a need and then going in and and and and filling that need.
00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:32.400
Um, two, having a husband who is a contractor that can come in and do that.
00:43:32.559 --> 00:43:35.360
So your husband is absolutely correct, bossy.
00:43:35.440 --> 00:43:43.360
I'm sure you're bossing him around when it comes to what needs to be done, but taking the care to actually do it, right?
00:43:43.519 --> 00:43:47.519
And so the oh god, there's so much that I could talk about.
00:43:47.599 --> 00:43:54.079
Not only because what I didn't know was now you're you're you're a political activist out here for the caregiving.
00:43:54.320 --> 00:43:57.599
So yeah, we've been done down Springfield and everything.
00:43:57.679 --> 00:43:59.599
You know, we've been fighting it, we got this bill.
00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:02.480
In draft, I still have to, it's still a long way.
00:44:02.639 --> 00:44:04.480
I still have to go in front of the committees.
00:44:04.559 --> 00:44:12.960
I'm just excited that I was able to uh recruit several um high official electives in the state of Illinois to say, you're right, let's look into this.
00:44:13.119 --> 00:44:17.679
Let's let's let's push this agenda because it is it doesn't make sense.
00:44:17.840 --> 00:44:28.880
We should we do need to help you know hold people more accountable and um as much as possible and you know provide more care, specifically when they are going, you know, progressing along in this disease.
00:44:28.960 --> 00:44:35.599
There's no reason why we shouldn't come back to the table and reassess what's going on with them, you know, especially when they're getting funding from the state, right?
00:44:35.840 --> 00:44:49.679
Especially when they're getting funding from the state and they're not able to accommodate the needs of the people who are out here and everybody's needs, although the diagnosis may be the same, but there's there's different needs.
00:44:49.760 --> 00:44:59.280
My mom has multiple sclerosis, it should actually be called multiple symptoms because there are so many different symptoms that have taken place because of the diagnosis.
00:45:00.880 --> 00:45:03.199
And so I totally get the finger foods.
00:45:03.280 --> 00:45:07.519
You know, my mom, the dexterity in her hands doesn't work the way it used to.
00:45:07.760 --> 00:45:12.960
So um certain foods, it is easier for her to eat with her fingers.
00:45:13.119 --> 00:45:18.320
Um, we have tried, you know, when she's in the comfort of her home or whatever, she'll use her fingers.
00:45:18.400 --> 00:45:24.400
But when we're out in public, she secretly can you ask, can they give me a spoon?
00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:30.159
Like she's afraid to ask for the spoon because you know, people she thinks people are looking at her.
00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:33.679
And people we just dog right, people are mean sometimes, you know.
00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:35.599
Yeah, people have an ignorance.
00:45:35.920 --> 00:45:42.239
Um, there are times when I'm just like where I have patience with it and I try to educate.
00:45:42.320 --> 00:45:44.239
And there are times where I'm like, what you looking at?
00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:50.000
Like, why are you, you know, no, I'm not holding the door open for you, you know, because I'm holding it for her.
00:45:50.159 --> 00:45:51.599
You want to rush through.
00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:54.719
Like, so there I have moments.
00:45:54.880 --> 00:45:58.400
Remember at the beginning, I said caregiving taught me patience.
00:45:58.559 --> 00:46:02.719
I'm still a work in progress, but when it comes to my mom, I'm willing to fight, right?
00:46:02.800 --> 00:46:03.679
I'm willing to fight.
00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:10.000
Don't mess with caregivers because you would catch smoke that was not for you, please.
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:19.199
Leave us alone because we are always this close, always this close for stepping off on something.
00:46:19.519 --> 00:46:21.840
So, yes, be careful, caregivers.
00:46:22.079 --> 00:46:23.599
We you will you will catch it.
00:46:23.760 --> 00:46:25.039
You will catch it.
00:46:25.440 --> 00:46:27.199
Leave us alone.
00:46:31.280 --> 00:46:48.159
And it is, it's it's it's really sad because um they always try to uh blanket what the care should look like for everyone, and to know that Teresa's place is gonna be the individualized for that person.
00:46:48.320 --> 00:46:53.440
Like, what is it that your loved one needs, and we can accommodate that.
00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:54.320
Exactly.
00:46:54.559 --> 00:47:04.480
I remember um my mom had a fall at her assisted living facility, and they didn't call me.
00:47:05.039 --> 00:47:22.719
They said they checked her out, and God told me to go over there like two days later, and I go over there, and my mom's face is like swollen, black and blue, and I'm like, what the happened to your right?
00:47:23.360 --> 00:47:25.280
Like, oh, I fail, right?
00:47:25.440 --> 00:47:32.880
But because she wasn't in any kind of pain, it didn't occur to her, let me call Tiff, let me tell Tiff, let me see what's going on.
00:47:34.559 --> 00:47:44.320
So listen, so I ended up taking my mom that day to the emergency room, and I was like, I need you to look at her.
00:47:44.480 --> 00:47:49.119
So they did a cat a CT scan on her eye, and they were like, She's fine.
00:47:49.360 --> 00:48:01.519
And I'm like, okay, so it gave me some peace in that moment, and then I went over a day later or two days later, and when I tell you it was her eyes were swollen shut.
00:48:02.239 --> 00:48:04.960
And I was like, This is not normal.
00:48:05.119 --> 00:48:08.079
So I take her back and they did another CAT scan.
00:48:08.159 --> 00:48:18.880
So the first one they did was without contrast, the second one they did with contrast, and they said she had an infection, but they couldn't tell if the infection was in the front of her eye or the back of her eye.
00:48:19.039 --> 00:48:24.960
Um, so they ended up admitting her into the hospital, and they did all these tests and all this stuff.
00:48:25.039 --> 00:48:27.440
She ended up being in the hospital for over a week.
00:48:27.840 --> 00:48:34.239
Um to to get rid of the infection and all the other stuff.
00:48:34.400 --> 00:48:38.000
But one of the things that happened in the hospital, that's again another podcast.
00:48:38.159 --> 00:48:44.960
Girl, why were they uh asking my mom about elder uh elder abuse, thinking that I had abused her?
00:48:45.280 --> 00:48:51.599
Nah, go go talk to that place that that she's staying at.
00:48:51.760 --> 00:48:55.599
And so um all of that to say she ended up leaving the hospital.
00:48:55.679 --> 00:49:04.320
She went to a rehab center after that to find me time um to find another place to place her because I was not putting her back in the city.
00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:05.440
Yeah, of course not.
00:49:05.760 --> 00:49:06.800
Yeah, yeah.
00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:20.639
And I remember they gave me a list of places that the state would, you know, pay for um for her to go or some subsidized.
00:49:21.119 --> 00:49:27.840
And when I tell you I walked in, I was two minutes into this nursing home that they said she could go to.
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:32.800
And I told the lady, I said, we can we can end this.
00:49:32.960 --> 00:49:37.360
We we don't need to finish the tour because everybody you talked about the zombie looking.
00:49:37.519 --> 00:49:48.639
Everybody in there was just sitting staring at walls, not doing, and I thought there is this is I wouldn't put a sick animal in this place like this.
00:49:48.800 --> 00:49:54.639
And I know there are some places that are good, so I don't want to sit here and bash all of the places.
00:49:54.880 --> 00:49:56.079
But you have some good places.
00:49:56.800 --> 00:50:15.119
The ones that they gave me were not good places, which then the decision was immediately for me to make that decision to bring my mom into my home at that time, and so I totally, totally understand where you're coming from because they're not getting that individualized need.
00:50:15.599 --> 00:50:22.880
Um and so when when people sign up, when when that spring, so you got a lot going on.
00:50:22.960 --> 00:50:28.559
You got spring 2027 with Teresa's place opening, I'm gonna just go ahead and put it out there and claim it.
00:50:29.039 --> 00:50:36.800
When you have the wellness on June 20th happening, again, you just keep adding to your to your to your plate.
00:50:37.440 --> 00:50:48.000
Um but when people sign up for Teresa's place, what is it that you want them to know or feel differently from other places?
00:50:48.159 --> 00:50:49.679
What's that thing?
00:50:50.079 --> 00:51:01.679
That their parent is going to be treated like I treat mine with respect, with dignity, um, have them active if they choose to be, you know, do so.
00:51:01.920 --> 00:51:10.320
Again, medication, we are um, I will have a nursing staff, of course, because I'm not a medical profession.
00:51:10.480 --> 00:51:19.920
Um, but if we can eliminate that as much as possible, because once I started to, I'm just gonna give you an example, accommodate mom's needs with the pacing.
00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:22.239
Let's just say the pacing, that's one of the ones.
00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:26.800
I literally created a space in the house where I'm sitting right now in.
00:51:27.199 --> 00:51:37.039
Um, I put up a gate that you put outside a fence, an outside fence into my home to protect her from um, you know, escaping.
00:51:37.280 --> 00:51:41.519
I put knots in the room, I put like a little track for her to walk.
00:51:41.840 --> 00:51:45.119
I put the what's the edge with the babies, what is it called?
00:51:45.199 --> 00:51:45.599
You know, the edge.
00:51:48.239 --> 00:51:52.079
Um, all of the edges in the room, and she paced.
00:51:52.559 --> 00:51:54.159
And that's what she needed to do.
00:51:54.400 --> 00:51:55.199
Go right ahead.
00:51:55.360 --> 00:51:57.039
I didn't want to prevent that.
00:51:57.280 --> 00:52:05.360
So when mom did fall, she has uh she has fallen before, um, before we had to, you know, put all these protective measures in place.
00:52:05.519 --> 00:52:10.719
I really accounted that she didn't nothing broken, she was fine, no bruises, nothing.
00:52:10.880 --> 00:52:13.199
And I believe that's because of her pacing.
00:52:13.440 --> 00:52:18.000
I did not stop her from doing what her body was saying that she needed to do.
00:52:18.159 --> 00:52:31.039
So after a while, when I see that she's tired in her face, of course, I will sit her down, you know, we'll do like a lavender bath or, you know, rub her back or give her some hugs and kisses, whatever, to come, not saying I'm gonna kiss on your loved one.
00:52:31.119 --> 00:52:42.239
I'm not saying that, but uh, you know, some hugs and you know, kisses or what have you, um, to just give her that calming sense and it will calm her down and then she was able to uh relax.
00:52:42.480 --> 00:52:45.840
So just we will have that conversation.
00:52:46.000 --> 00:52:51.119
We'll make it an um interdisciplinary where all parties are involved.
00:52:51.199 --> 00:53:02.719
So the caregiver, doctors, if you have a physical therapist, speech therapist, occupational therapist, neurologist, everyone will come to the table to have a conversation about your loved one's needs.
00:53:02.960 --> 00:53:05.920
And then we will set goals based on the stages they are.
00:53:06.079 --> 00:53:12.480
And those goals will be specifically for what activities they enjoy, what are they still able to do?
00:53:12.639 --> 00:53:16.000
Okay, let's put some place some things that we know they still are able to do.
00:53:16.079 --> 00:53:21.679
So, you know, if they're still able to work with their hands, okay, then maybe they can fold socks, you know.
00:53:21.840 --> 00:53:26.800
Um, I have a drawer that I call the socks with no home because where are the socks?
00:53:26.880 --> 00:53:28.159
Like, why are they always disappearing?
00:53:28.320 --> 00:53:29.920
Why do we only have one sock, right?
00:53:30.239 --> 00:53:35.039
But that was a space for mom to still keep those motor skills going.
00:53:35.199 --> 00:53:43.039
And even though they weren't matching, sometimes she found them, sometimes she didn't, we'll just still have her fold them just to keep those motor skills going, right?
00:53:43.360 --> 00:53:55.360
Or, you know, um, sometimes she, even though she's her verbal, her a her ability to really express, um, have you know, language expression has pretty much diminished.
00:53:55.440 --> 00:53:56.639
She mumbles a lot.
00:53:56.960 --> 00:53:58.960
Music is a thing for her.
00:53:59.119 --> 00:54:06.239
So if I see that she's, you know, having a moment, certain cues let me know that she's bored or something's going on.
00:54:06.480 --> 00:54:08.719
Turn on some music, she rocks.
00:54:08.960 --> 00:54:20.239
Now you saw her with a head down, you know, and that's pretty much what she does because it's comforting for her, but she will rock to the music and she does her little shoulders like this, and you know, it just makes her day.
00:54:20.480 --> 00:54:31.599
Or um, so just paying attention to your loved one's behaviors, talking about it, what you guys do at home to make sure that we're implementing that same thing at Teresa's place.
00:54:31.760 --> 00:54:43.119
And then once we see that this is the key, once we see that they're progressing in their disease and maybe some change is happening, let's come back to the table and revisit what's going on, what do we need to do?
00:54:43.280 --> 00:54:58.880
So I find again, me personally, I'm not saying this everywhere, but me personally, have found that a lot of facilities do not come back to the table to discuss what happens next now that they're unable to do what they used to do, but now you know they're able to do this.
00:54:59.119 --> 00:55:02.079
So let's focus on this rather than what they cannot do.
00:55:02.239 --> 00:55:02.559
Yeah.
00:55:02.800 --> 00:55:04.480
So that's what you can expect with us.
00:55:04.559 --> 00:55:12.320
Uh, we'll have a lower ratio because I want to make sure that even though I am zoned to have 66 clients, I'm not.
00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:14.639
So I probably have like 20 to 25.
00:55:14.719 --> 00:55:14.960
Why?
00:55:15.039 --> 00:55:20.960
Because we have like a one to three ratio, um, just depending on what your loved one is in you know, in need for.
00:55:21.119 --> 00:55:26.559
And I don't want to maximize just for numbers because I'm not this money thing, is it is what it is.
00:55:26.719 --> 00:55:32.159
I've been living without income for five the past four years, and the Lord knows He has blessed me.
00:55:32.239 --> 00:55:33.440
So I'm not worried about that.
00:55:33.599 --> 00:55:58.559
I just want to make the quality of life and ensure that you know we are accommodating their needs, we're coming back to the table, we're having um discussions as a group, as a whole team, and come back to the table, reassess if we need to, and come back to the table and reassess if we need to, just to keep them out of a facility as long as possible so you can work and still take care of your family and get the uh help you need and the care you need.
00:55:58.719 --> 00:56:01.360
Um, so that's where we are with Teresa's place.
00:56:01.840 --> 00:56:02.159
Good.
00:56:02.320 --> 00:56:03.440
I so love that.
00:56:03.599 --> 00:56:06.559
I love I love I love the concept, right?
00:56:06.639 --> 00:56:07.519
I love what you're doing.
00:56:07.679 --> 00:56:18.320
I love how you're taking um the experience that you have learned with your mom and understanding the individualized um is what you're gonna take over into Teresa's place.
00:56:18.559 --> 00:56:25.280
The also the other part that I like about it is when you talk about reassessment, because a lot of times they think it's a one and done.
00:56:25.360 --> 00:56:32.079
And the facility that my mom is in, she's in a um assisted living facility now, they do a reassessment with her.
00:56:32.239 --> 00:56:42.960
Um, and we can me being um I'm I'm not local, but I can dial in and they're open to whoever wants to be on that call.
00:56:43.039 --> 00:56:47.679
Normally it's me or my brothers on that or my brother's there, and then you know, we can be on that call or not.
00:56:47.840 --> 00:56:56.480
But the fact that they do the reassessment and they even though it's a larger facility, they do know my mom needs this.
00:56:57.039 --> 00:57:00.320
You know, the nurses come in and they're like, she's doing well at this.
00:57:00.480 --> 00:57:06.559
One of the things that um my mom hated the food at any facility.
00:57:07.039 --> 00:57:14.320
So um just this year we have decided to do um uh meal prep for her.
00:57:14.480 --> 00:57:23.840
And so we have someone that comes in weekly and she drops off food because my mom can still put it in a microwave and warm up her food and eat it when she wants.
00:57:24.000 --> 00:57:25.599
So it still gives her that independence.
00:57:25.679 --> 00:57:31.440
So when you talked about the motorized skills, it still gives her that thing to do for herself.
00:57:31.679 --> 00:57:36.320
And so um, all these little tasks that we do help them.
00:57:36.800 --> 00:57:40.159
Um and and and we we can't take everything away from them.
00:57:40.239 --> 00:57:42.960
I mean within reason, right?
00:57:43.199 --> 00:57:48.320
Yeah, like I took her car keys from her, at least I let her warm up her own food.
00:57:48.480 --> 00:58:20.639
Um it's it's it's it's definitely needed, and so I commend you for seeing that there was a gap and then going in and filling that gap because people are going to be upset with you that you can accept 66, but you're like, nah, I'm only gonna take 25, um, because you're not doing it for the money, you're doing it because you actually care, and hats off to you, and you will continue to be um blessed abundantly because your heart is in the right place.
00:58:20.880 --> 00:58:22.159
So thank you, thank you.
00:58:22.800 --> 00:58:37.440
My uh sappy sappiness for the moment, but if you could go back and tell Latanya at the beginning of this caregiving journey, what would you tell her?
00:58:38.159 --> 00:58:47.440
Oh trust the process, and I say that like my mama, seriously.
00:58:47.599 --> 00:58:53.519
Um, and I say that because, and again, this is not a flex, but I just laugh at myself and think back.
00:58:56.639 --> 00:59:00.079
Remember, I told you I've always been a lifelong learner.
00:59:01.280 --> 00:59:06.159
So you're gonna have seven degrees, seven to eight degrees, something like that.
00:59:06.480 --> 00:59:14.079
And it always, you know, I never really talked about it because it always seemed as if I was all over the place and not stable.
00:59:14.320 --> 00:59:20.239
But just looking at the pattern of what I did, it all has come together.
00:59:20.400 --> 00:59:45.280
So what I say, undergrad in psychology, then I have a MBA business, um, information systems, you know, that's all about computer technology, um, uh, project management, again, bringing things together, a master's in um elementary education, master's in leadership education, then I just became a certified dementia practitioner.
00:59:45.599 --> 00:59:49.840
So all of that, and then I'm I'm a licensed special education teacher.
00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:51.280
So think about it.
00:59:51.519 --> 01:00:02.159
The special ed background gave me the patience and the understanding to look at be a specific behavior to accommodate those needs because it's the same behavior.
01:00:02.320 --> 01:00:07.119
It really and truly is a similar behavior as someone with special needs.
01:00:07.360 --> 01:00:08.239
It really is.
01:00:08.559 --> 01:00:23.039
Um, and then just thinking on running a business, getting that leadership team together, six of us, to you know, get the help we need and to, you know, have that brain dump together to come up um with some ideas.
01:00:23.119 --> 01:00:23.840
Shout out to Dr.
01:00:23.920 --> 01:00:48.880
Naray Tucker, my partner in current, with this bill that we're trying to have passed, and this um also this success plan that's what we call when we do an assessment on your loved one to determine what you know their needs are, um, to building this whole facility and all the branches that's come along to organizing these events um and wellness, all of it came to be in some way, shape, or fashion.
01:00:48.960 --> 01:00:53.760
So I feel like God had put me on this path to lead me to.
01:00:54.159 --> 01:00:57.599
Of course, I don't want to see my parents because you know my dad has Alzheimer's as well.
01:00:57.840 --> 01:01:01.119
I don't want to see my parents suffering, of course not.
01:01:01.599 --> 01:01:12.400
But this mission that we're on has helped so many people, and I just know that it's going to help many, many, many, many, many, many more, especially when this bill gets pushed and passed, you know.
01:01:12.559 --> 01:01:16.800
Um, so I would say, yeah, trust the process, believe in God with your whole heart, right?
01:01:16.960 --> 01:01:22.960
Whole heart and your whole soul, and just let Him do what your purpose is on life, in life.
01:01:23.199 --> 01:01:25.760
Let me use you to do exactly that.
01:01:26.079 --> 01:01:26.719
Absolutely.
01:01:26.880 --> 01:01:27.360
I love it.
01:01:27.440 --> 01:01:29.360
My mom used to tell me all the time, trust the process.
01:01:29.440 --> 01:01:36.800
And I'll be like, 'cause you know, I wanted, I wanted to know right then and there what is happening, what's next, what's why, who, what, why, when, and where.
01:01:36.960 --> 01:01:38.400
Um, but you're absolutely right.
01:01:38.480 --> 01:01:54.639
When you talk about trust the process, um, I remember, and so all your skills are leading you up to be able to do this, and and you're gonna do it successfully, and you have done it successfully, but continue on doing it successfully, and and having the right team around you is really important.
01:01:54.800 --> 01:01:58.239
So you have you, you, you're, you're off to a great start.
01:01:58.480 --> 01:02:10.320
And I know 2027 is just going to be um a blessing for you and others because you are touching others, and I'm saying too with your podcast.
01:02:10.480 --> 01:02:12.239
That's trust the process.
01:02:12.400 --> 01:02:19.119
So you know I was gonna, I was, I was gonna say it, then I backed out, but now that you brought it back up, I'll I'll bring it up to you.
01:02:19.280 --> 01:02:26.719
So I was in high school and I wanted to be uh anchor, um TV read, you know, on the desk.
01:02:26.800 --> 01:02:29.840
I was gonna at the time there wasn't, you know, many black people.
01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:34.960
So, you know, I'll just say Barbara Walters, I was gonna be the Barbara Watchers of TV.
01:02:35.360 --> 01:02:37.679
And, you know, I put that dream aside.
01:02:37.840 --> 01:02:43.920
I wasn't gonna do that, and dropped out of college and became a flight attendant and was flying the friendly skies.
01:02:44.159 --> 01:02:48.559
So this is people, this is actually being recorded on 9-11.
01:02:48.719 --> 01:02:52.639
Um, so this is always a bittersweet, a bittersweet moment for me.
01:02:52.800 --> 01:02:56.559
It brings about sadness and reflection and hope also.
01:02:56.639 --> 01:02:58.320
But, anyways, trust the process.
01:02:58.559 --> 01:03:06.400
And so um, I launched a coaching business um for wellness and life coaching.
01:03:07.199 --> 01:03:16.800
And during my caregiving journey, I wasn't really caring for myself nor loving myself.
01:03:16.960 --> 01:03:22.559
That's why I encourage all my caregivers to take that hour because I was just going with the flow.
01:03:22.800 --> 01:03:28.079
I was just being pulled in many different directions, doing this, doing that.
01:03:28.239 --> 01:03:44.559
And so when I came out of the caregiving full-time, um, I really started leaning into the self-love, the self-love, loving myself, doing those things that I like to do, um, saying no to things, um, saying yes to some things.
01:03:44.800 --> 01:03:53.920
But I was very hesitant because for the last three, four years, people have been asking me to do a podcast, but they actually wanted me to do podcasts on relationships.
01:03:54.000 --> 01:03:55.679
And I was like, it's inundated.
01:03:55.840 --> 01:04:06.800
I am not no, because to go viral and to be a big podcast, you have to say crazy, outlandish stuff, and my way of thinking is completely different.
01:04:07.039 --> 01:04:12.559
Um, but then people were still calling me because of my 25 years of experience in caregiving.
01:04:12.719 --> 01:04:14.159
Hey, can you talk to this person?
01:04:14.320 --> 01:04:15.280
Hey, what about this?
01:04:15.440 --> 01:04:16.559
Hey, what about this?
01:04:16.719 --> 01:04:20.960
And I was reluctant, I gave them the information, but they were like, you should write a book.
01:04:21.039 --> 01:04:22.159
Nope, you should do this.
01:04:22.320 --> 01:04:23.039
Nope, nope.
01:04:23.199 --> 01:04:26.000
I did not want to be associated with caregiving.
01:04:26.159 --> 01:04:34.320
But there was always this little piece in the back of my head that was like, you're always going to be a caregiver, no matter what.
01:04:34.480 --> 01:04:38.880
Even when your mom is no longer here, you're still once a parent, always a parent.
01:04:39.039 --> 01:04:40.880
Once a caregiver, always a caregiver.
01:04:41.119 --> 01:04:46.320
Because I may not be caring full-time for my mom, but I care for other things, I care for other people.
01:04:46.480 --> 01:04:48.880
So it's in my heart to care.
01:04:49.280 --> 01:04:58.639
Um, and I say all that to trust the process because I did go back to school during COVID and I did get my degree in communications.
01:04:59.119 --> 01:05:04.239
And here I am, I'm not an anchor on a TV show.
01:05:04.320 --> 01:05:13.920
I'm not the Barbara Walters or the Robin Roberts or the Oprah Winfrey, but I am Miss Tiff using those skills on caregiving and conversations.
01:05:14.000 --> 01:05:15.679
So there's my flex for today.
01:05:16.079 --> 01:05:17.920
Come on, come on, Miss Tiff.
01:05:18.880 --> 01:05:20.000
Well, there's my flex.
01:05:20.239 --> 01:05:31.119
But if you experience exactly all the experience that you do um that you have, and and if you're open to it, these are the things that can happen.
01:05:31.280 --> 01:05:33.840
And so um I am open to it.
01:05:34.000 --> 01:05:45.920
I don't know if you saw or um, but anyway, a week ago, Caregiving and Conversations was featured in Black Enterprise magazine, their online portion of it.
01:05:46.159 --> 01:05:48.239
So I'm like, wait, what?
01:05:51.119 --> 01:05:51.679
Yay.
01:05:52.880 --> 01:05:56.719
It it it it it just let me know I'm on the right track.
01:05:56.880 --> 01:06:12.159
I am doing something, and it just made Instead of creating a to-do list or what I would like or a goal list, I created an audacity list, so it just made my audacity list bigger because if you can dream it, you can do it.
01:06:12.239 --> 01:06:14.719
So that's why I'm so happy for you.
01:06:14.960 --> 01:06:16.079
But this ain't about me.
01:06:16.159 --> 01:06:17.039
I'm done with me.
01:06:17.119 --> 01:06:32.079
But if you can give one piece of advice to a woman out there who is wearing as many hats, oh, she could just be wearing one hat, but as one to 10 hats like you are wearing.
01:06:32.320 --> 01:06:36.639
Um, what would be that one piece of advice that you would give somebody?
01:06:37.119 --> 01:06:40.559
Be comfortable being uncomfortable.
01:06:41.920 --> 01:07:01.119
Uh friend of mine told me that, and I never understood that she's a principal as we speak, and I never understood that uh term until I got into this position and started launching the things I have, you know, stuff that God put on me to launch.
01:07:01.280 --> 01:07:02.480
I get it now.
01:07:03.119 --> 01:07:09.519
You know, that nagged feeling that it's not time, I don't have the money, my credit isn't right.
01:07:10.719 --> 01:07:11.199
Nope.
01:07:11.440 --> 01:07:12.000
Nope.
01:07:12.239 --> 01:07:12.880
Nope.
01:07:13.119 --> 01:07:13.519
Nope.
01:07:14.320 --> 01:07:14.880
Do it.
01:07:15.360 --> 01:07:18.239
Do it, do it, do it, do your proper research.
01:07:18.480 --> 01:07:18.719
Yeah.
01:07:18.960 --> 01:07:20.639
If you need help, ask.
01:07:20.719 --> 01:07:22.079
Don't be ashamed.
01:07:22.400 --> 01:07:26.960
Ask for help, ask for guidance with the right people, of course.
01:07:27.280 --> 01:07:30.480
Go at that gut feeling because not everyone is for you.
01:07:30.639 --> 01:07:31.599
Let's just be honest.
01:07:31.760 --> 01:07:38.079
I've lost some friends of 30 plus years when I've been on this mission, and it's okay because I still love you.
01:07:38.320 --> 01:07:41.039
I still love you, just in a different capacity.
01:07:41.199 --> 01:07:42.320
I still love you.
01:07:42.559 --> 01:07:47.519
Um, you know, and be comfortable being uncomfortable.
01:07:47.599 --> 01:07:51.199
It's okay because it's just going to take you to the next level where you're supposed to be.
01:07:51.280 --> 01:07:52.320
Don't be afraid.
01:07:52.559 --> 01:07:58.559
Let me tell you, I'm totally uncomfortable with caregiving and conversations, but I launched it uncomfortable.
01:07:58.719 --> 01:08:00.239
I launched it fearfully.
01:08:00.320 --> 01:08:02.400
I I launched it scared.
01:08:02.559 --> 01:08:05.360
I launched it, what the heck am I doing?
01:08:05.519 --> 01:08:12.159
You know, and here I am almost, I think September 29th will be the three months.
01:08:12.239 --> 01:08:18.640
And so I'm still here and I don't see it going anywhere because I got interviews backed out and through October.
01:08:18.880 --> 01:08:23.840
So again, my kids saw me doing this anyway.
01:08:24.000 --> 01:08:25.279
Really, mom, please stop.
01:08:25.439 --> 01:08:26.000
Please stop.
01:08:26.319 --> 01:08:29.039
I'm loud, I'm just doing it because it's cool.
01:08:29.680 --> 01:08:33.760
No, no, but Latanya, I'm amazing.
01:08:34.239 --> 01:08:36.000
Thank you so much for coming on.
01:08:36.159 --> 01:08:41.279
Thank you so much for watching the video and then reading out saying, Hey, how can I be a part of that?
01:08:41.359 --> 01:08:44.960
And that's what I've been asking people to do, just be a part of this community.
01:08:45.199 --> 01:08:46.720
So, again, thank you.
01:08:46.880 --> 01:08:49.520
You and I are not, this ain't a one and done.
01:08:49.760 --> 01:08:55.680
Um, I have look, we we are friends, we are locked in here.
01:08:56.479 --> 01:09:07.039
And um, I'm so thankful that um our our uh lives have crossed in this caregiving journey and what we can do.
01:09:07.199 --> 01:09:09.520
Um, but again, thank you so much.
01:09:09.760 --> 01:09:14.960
And people out there, make sure you are subscribing to the YouTube channel.
01:09:15.119 --> 01:09:19.039
We are also on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
01:09:19.279 --> 01:09:25.840
Share with your caregiving friends, share with just anyone because at some point or another we're all a caregiver.
01:09:26.159 --> 01:09:36.239
But again, don't forget give yourself grace, give yourself rest, and give yourself love because you deserve it.
01:09:36.399 --> 01:09:38.000
Thank you so much, everyone.
01:09:38.319 --> 01:09:39.039
Bye bye.