#60: Too Much to Do? Time Management When Life Feels Full

WEBVTT
00:00:00.322 --> 00:00:04.745
Hello lovelies and welcome back to Cappuccinos in Confidence with Neffy.
00:00:05.349 --> 00:00:10.787
I'm Neffy, your confidence coach and this is a space where we have honest conversations
00:00:10.787 --> 00:00:16.257
about confidence, self-trust, personal growth and becoming the woman you know
00:00:16.257 --> 00:00:17.795
you are capable of being.
00:00:18.393 --> 00:00:25.133
So grab your coffee, tea, water or whatever you're sipping today and let us settle in.
00:00:25.829 --> 00:00:29.376
Today we're talking about time management when life feels full.
00:00:30.113 --> 00:00:34.507
Not just busy, but full. The kind of full where your work is demanding,
00:00:34.792 --> 00:00:39.372
your personal life needs attention, your home keeps producing jobs,
00:00:39.871 --> 00:00:45.827
people need things from you and your own goals are quietly waiting somewhere in the background.
00:00:46.872 --> 00:00:52.003
You may have a diary, a planner, a calendar app and several to-do lists,
00:00:52.201 --> 00:00:57.739
yet somehow you still feel as though you're constantly running out of time.
00:00:58.688 --> 00:01:03.327
Perhaps you've tried waking up earlier, you've downloaded another productivity
00:01:03.327 --> 00:01:08.617
app, watched videos about time blocking and promised yourself that next week
00:01:08.617 --> 00:01:10.966
you will finally become more organised.
00:01:11.801 --> 00:01:16.811
However, the real problem may not be that you're bad at managing your time.
00:01:17.940 --> 00:01:23.817
The problem may be that you're trying to fit in more into your week than one
00:01:23.817 --> 00:01:26.397
human can realistically hold.
00:01:27.993 --> 00:01:32.422
Today, this episode is about time management when life falls full,
00:01:32.956 --> 00:01:35.446
so you can stop trying to fit everything in.
00:01:36.683 --> 00:01:42.644
I want to begin with a woman called Amara. Amara is ambitious, caring and capable.
00:01:43.422 --> 00:01:48.225
She takes pride in being dependable and she genuinely wants to show up well
00:01:48.225 --> 00:01:50.295
in every area of her life.
00:01:50.922 --> 00:01:53.900
At work, she has an important deadline coming up.
00:01:54.421 --> 00:01:59.547
She wants to do a good job because she's hoping to be considered for a promotion later in the year.
00:02:00.452 --> 00:02:05.578
Her friend is going through a difficult time, so Amara has promised to call her after work.
00:02:06.327 --> 00:02:10.795
Her mum needs help arranging an appointment. Her partner will like them to have
00:02:10.795 --> 00:02:12.283
some proper time together.
00:02:12.980 --> 00:02:16.406
Her home needs cleaning. The food shopping needs to be done.
00:02:16.789 --> 00:02:21.439
And there is a pile of laundry that appears to be reproducing when nobody is looking.
00:02:22.507 --> 00:02:27.605
Amara is also trying to take better care of herself. She wants to exercise three
00:02:27.605 --> 00:02:33.265
times this week, cook healthier meals, restart her morning routine and finally
00:02:33.265 --> 00:02:35.893
book the health appointment she has been postponing.
00:02:36.909 --> 00:02:40.683
On top of that she has a personal project she really cares about.
00:02:41.315 --> 00:02:45.286
She's been telling herself for months that she wants to work on it consistently.
00:02:46.383 --> 00:02:53.315
Every one of these things matters that is the problem and sunday evening amara
00:02:53.315 --> 00:02:57.350
sits down with her planner and tries to fit everything into the week,
00:02:58.424 --> 00:03:03.825
she adds her work meetings first then she schedules three gym sessions two evenings
00:03:03.825 --> 00:03:07.898
for person for her personal project a phone call with her friend,
00:03:08.356 --> 00:03:09.535
dinner with her partner,
00:03:10.150 --> 00:03:15.543
time to help her mum, food shopping, meal preparation, laundry,
00:03:15.839 --> 00:03:18.991
cleaning and a long list of small errands.
00:03:20.309 --> 00:03:25.580
She also leaves herself several tasks to complete before and after work.
00:03:26.624 --> 00:03:31.570
By the time she finishes planning, nearly every hour of the week has been assigned a job.
00:03:32.412 --> 00:03:36.300
The calendar looks organised. It also looks exhausting.
00:03:37.381 --> 00:03:41.444
Amara feels pleased for a moment because everything has a place.
00:03:41.955 --> 00:03:46.849
However, Monday morning starts with an urgent request from her manager.
00:03:48.109 --> 00:03:51.869
A meeting runs over, so she misses the lunchtime walk she plans.
00:03:52.975 --> 00:03:58.043
Her journey home takes longer than expected, and by the time she arrives, she is tired.
00:03:58.699 --> 00:04:01.456
She cancels the gym session and feels guilty.
00:04:02.532 --> 00:04:07.107
On Tuesday, her mum calls with a problem that needs more time than expected.
00:04:07.751 --> 00:04:11.298
On Wednesday, Amara's work's late to catch up.
00:04:12.302 --> 00:04:16.017
By Thursday, the personal project has disappeared from the calendar.
00:04:16.499 --> 00:04:21.509
Laundry is still waiting and she has not had a proper evening to herself.
00:04:22.475 --> 00:04:27.345
By Friday she looks at the week and thinks I need to manage my time better.
00:04:28.486 --> 00:04:35.343
But does she or did she create a seven day plan for a 14 day life?
00:04:36.132 --> 00:04:38.848
Perhaps you recognise yourself in Amara.
00:04:39.789 --> 00:04:43.852
You are not wasting your time. you're not sitting around doing nothing,
00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:50.858
in fact you may be using almost every available hour yet you still feel behind
00:04:51.154 --> 00:04:55.600
because there is more on your list than your life currently has room to hold,
00:04:56.703 --> 00:05:02.185
in this episode we're going to explore five ideas that can help when life feels
00:05:02.185 --> 00:05:09.639
full and they are understand your real capacity becoming honest about what your calendar can hold,
00:05:10.347 --> 00:05:15.676
recognising the season of life you're in creating boundaries around your time,
00:05:16.302 --> 00:05:18.706
leaving breathing room for life to happen.
00:05:20.069 --> 00:05:23.262
Because time management is not only about fitting things in,
00:05:23.848 --> 00:05:29.032
sometimes it is about deciding what cannot fit right now.
00:05:30.593 --> 00:05:34.836
Part 1. Start with capacity, not the calendar.
00:05:36.506 --> 00:05:44.434
The first mistake Amara makes in planning is planning from the calendar rather than from her capacity.
00:05:45.015 --> 00:05:48.910
She looks at each empty space and assumes it is available.
00:05:49.972 --> 00:05:53.467
There is an empty hour before work, so she schedules exercise.
00:05:54.111 --> 00:05:57.820
There are two hours after dinner, so she schedules her personal project.
00:05:58.476 --> 00:06:02.790
Saturday afternoon looks open, so she fills it with errands and household tasks.
00:06:03.324 --> 00:06:11.352
On paper, the time exists. However, available time and available capacity are not the same thing.
00:06:12.188 --> 00:06:17.105
An empty hour in your diary does not automatically mean you have the physical,
00:06:17.557 --> 00:06:21.981
emotional or mental energy to use that hour productively.
00:06:22.834 --> 00:06:27.686
You may technically have two hours after work, but those two hours come after
00:06:27.686 --> 00:06:34.450
commuting, meetings, decisions, conversations, and several hours of concentration.
00:06:35.257 --> 00:06:38.779
The time is there, your energy may not be.
00:06:39.748 --> 00:06:46.121
This is where many plans become unrealistic. We calculate what can fit mathematically,
00:06:46.522 --> 00:06:51.327
but we do not consider what we can hold humanely or humanly.
00:06:52.724 --> 00:06:57.072
Amara sees that she has seven evenings in a week.
00:06:57.693 --> 00:07:02.755
Therefore, she assumes she can use several of them for exercise,
00:07:03.074 --> 00:07:09.297
relationships, family support, home responsibilities and her personal project.
00:07:09.889 --> 00:07:13.401
However, she has not accounted for recovery.
00:07:14.225 --> 00:07:18.576
She has not considered that some evenings will need to remain quiet because
00:07:18.576 --> 00:07:22.120
she's already spent the day giving her attention to other people.
00:07:23.571 --> 00:07:27.780
She is also not allowed for the emotional cost of certain tasks.
00:07:28.777 --> 00:07:34.999
A 30-minute phone call with a friend who is struggling may only take 30 minutes on the calendar.
00:07:35.556 --> 00:07:42.476
Nevertheless, it may require much more emotional energy than 30 minutes of folding laundry.
00:07:43.909 --> 00:07:50.898
A difficult meeting may last one hour, but its effect may follow you for the rest of the afternoon.
00:07:52.184 --> 00:08:00.009
Capacity includes more than time it includes your energy concentration health
00:08:00.427 --> 00:08:04.369
emotions and ability to respond to unexpected,
00:08:05.124 --> 00:08:07.684
before planning your week ask yourself,
00:08:08.595 --> 00:08:14.296
what do I realistically have have the capacity for right now?
00:08:16.085 --> 00:08:22.319
Not what could the most energetic, motivated and perfectly organized version of you do.
00:08:23.782 --> 00:08:27.608
What can the real version of you manage in the life you are actually living?
00:08:28.939 --> 00:08:34.969
This question can feel uncomfortable because the honest answer may be less than what you want it to be.
00:08:36.177 --> 00:08:41.868
You may want to work full-time, exercise five times a week, maintain a spotless
00:08:41.868 --> 00:08:44.448
home, support everyone, build
00:08:44.448 --> 00:08:49.314
a business, attend social events and still have plenty of time for rest.
00:08:50.469 --> 00:08:56.245
Wanting all of those things does not mean you have the capacity to prioritise them all at once.
00:08:57.304 --> 00:09:02.024
Your capacity is not a moral judgment, it is simply information.
00:09:03.465 --> 00:09:07.812
You do not become less capable because your current capacity is limited.
00:09:08.863 --> 00:09:15.748
You become more effective when you stop pretending your limits do not exist.
00:09:16.891 --> 00:09:20.241
Part 2. Practice calendar honesty.
00:09:21.738 --> 00:09:26.780
Once Amara begins thinking about capacity, she looks at her calendar differently.
00:09:27.494 --> 00:09:31.593
Previously, she treated every blank space as unused time.
00:09:32.208 --> 00:09:37.334
Now, she begins to recognise that some of that space needs to stay blank.
00:09:38.145 --> 00:09:42.203
Calendar honesty means seeing the difference between the time you wish you had
00:09:42.644 --> 00:09:44.740
and the time that is genuinely available.
00:09:45.884 --> 00:09:49.785
It also means being honest about how long things actually take.
00:09:50.585 --> 00:09:54.381
Amara often schedules food shopping as a one-hour task.
00:09:54.787 --> 00:09:59.138
However, that hour does not include travelling to the shop, putting everything
00:09:59.138 --> 00:10:03.506
away, or standing in the kitchen wondering why she bought three types of cheese
00:10:03.843 --> 00:10:05.358
but forgot washing up liquid.
00:10:06.694 --> 00:10:11.718
She schedules a gym session for 45 minutes but forgets the time she needed to
00:10:11.718 --> 00:10:16.255
change, travel and shower afterwards. She writes.
00:10:26.979 --> 00:10:32.929
When tasks repeatedly take longer than expected, the problem may not be that you're too slow.
00:10:33.567 --> 00:10:36.481
The estimate may be dishonest.
00:10:37.537 --> 00:10:43.441
A realistic calendar includes the whole task, not only its most visible part.
00:10:44.103 --> 00:10:46.611
It includes preparation, travel,
00:10:46.883 --> 00:10:51.928
transitions, recovery and the smaller steps that surround the task.
00:10:53.141 --> 00:11:01.547
Calendar honesty also requires you to require to require to recognize your fixed commitments,
00:11:02.190 --> 00:11:07.746
begin with the things that actually cannot easily be moved such as work appointments,
00:11:08.209 --> 00:11:10.815
caring responsibilities and essential travel,
00:11:11.957 --> 00:11:15.626
then add things that support your well-being including meals,
00:11:15.626 --> 00:11:19.542
sleep, rest and time to prepare for the next day.
00:11:20.610 --> 00:11:24.818
Only after that should you look at what space remains for everything else.
00:11:25.567 --> 00:11:30.165
Many of us do the opposite. We schedule our work and ambitions first,
00:11:30.420 --> 00:11:35.830
then we try to squeeze eating, resting and recovering into whatever gaps remain.
00:11:36.504 --> 00:11:40.712
By the end of the week our own needs are competing for leftover time.
00:11:41.799 --> 00:11:45.015
You deserve more than leftovers of your calendar.
00:11:45.717 --> 00:11:51.789
Your well-being is not an inconvenience that needs to be fitted around everything more important.
00:11:53.072 --> 00:11:56.126
Amara starts adding realistic transition time.
00:11:56.729 --> 00:12:01.846
She leaves space after difficult meetings and stops scheduling something immediately
00:12:01.846 --> 00:12:03.376
after every commitment.
00:12:04.485 --> 00:12:09.442
She also limits how many demanding things she expects herself to do in one day.
00:12:10.237 --> 00:12:14.707
Instead of planning a full work day, a gym session, a difficult family conversation,
00:12:15.176 --> 00:12:20.749
and two hours on her personal project, she chooses one main commitment for the evening.
00:12:21.769 --> 00:12:25.976
This does not mean that the other things do not matter, it simply means they
00:12:25.976 --> 00:12:29.176
cannot all occupy the same space.
00:12:30.639 --> 00:12:37.123
Calendar honesty may involve saying, I have time for this, but I do not have the energy.
00:12:38.028 --> 00:12:42.237
I can fit this in, but doing so will leave no room to recover.
00:12:43.229 --> 00:12:47.397
This task matters, but it does not have to happen this week.
00:12:48.374 --> 00:12:52.780
I need to reduce the plan rather than keep asking myself to move faster.
00:12:54.130 --> 00:13:01.270
An honest calendar is not always impressive, however, it is much more likely to work.
00:13:02.387 --> 00:13:05.509
Point 3. Respect the season you are in.
00:13:06.716 --> 00:13:11.465
Another reason Amara feels behind is that she expects every area of her life
00:13:11.761 --> 00:13:14.240
to receive equal attention every week.
00:13:14.983 --> 00:13:20.755
She wants to progress at work improve her health nurture her relationships care
00:13:20.755 --> 00:13:25.971
for her family maintain her home and build her personal projects at the same time,
00:13:26.726 --> 00:13:32.985
these are all meaningful priorities however life does not always allow us to
00:13:32.985 --> 00:13:37.042
pursue every priority with the same intensity,
00:13:38.040 --> 00:13:42.845
there are seasons when work needs more attention there are seasons when your
00:13:42.845 --> 00:13:44.373
health has to come first.
00:13:45.018 --> 00:13:51.386
At other times, family responsibilities increase or a relationship requires more care.
00:13:52.436 --> 00:13:58.385
There may also be seasons when survival, recovery or emotional healing take
00:13:58.385 --> 00:14:01.521
up more space than visible achievements.
00:14:02.704 --> 00:14:08.486
A problem begins when you compare what you can do in one season or what you managed in another.
00:14:09.299 --> 00:14:14.007
Perhaps last year you had the energy to exercise four times a week,
00:14:14.239 --> 00:14:17.884
cook every evening and work on your business at the weekend.
00:14:18.459 --> 00:14:22.987
This year your responsibility may be different, your body may be different,
00:14:23.335 --> 00:14:25.471
your emotional capacity may be different.
00:14:26.040 --> 00:14:32.275
I've definitely had that because last year I was you know very active and then
00:14:32.275 --> 00:14:39.098
this year it's been really about, you know, after my operation, just recovery.
00:14:39.804 --> 00:14:46.961
A plan that worked in a calmer season may become completely unrealistic in a demanding one.
00:14:48.283 --> 00:14:52.575
This does not mean you have failed. It means your life has changed,
00:14:52.882 --> 00:14:55.320
so your expectations need to change with it.
00:14:56.517 --> 00:15:01.008
Amara asks herself, what season am I in right now?
00:15:02.546 --> 00:15:07.543
She realises that work is particularly demanding this month and that her mum
00:15:07.883 --> 00:15:09.796
needs more support than usual.
00:15:10.719 --> 00:15:16.033
Therefore, this may not be the season to expect herself to make huge progress
00:15:16.033 --> 00:15:17.546
on her personal project.
00:15:18.405 --> 00:15:23.165
She does not have to abandon it. Instead, she can create a smaller version.
00:15:24.094 --> 00:15:31.077
Rather than giving it two full evenings each week, she chooses one focused hour on Saturday morning.
00:15:32.389 --> 00:15:37.967
That hour may not be dramatic or produce dramatic progress.
00:15:38.344 --> 00:15:42.713
However, it keeps her connected to something that matters without requiring
00:15:42.713 --> 00:15:45.647
a level of capacity she does not currently have.
00:15:46.535 --> 00:15:52.073
This is where flexible priorities become important a priority does not have
00:15:52.073 --> 00:15:56.586
to disappear simply because it cannot be your main focus,
00:15:57.416 --> 00:16:03.313
you can reduce it you can pause it you can maintain it at a smaller level you
00:16:03.313 --> 00:16:08.483
can return to it when your season changes the phrase I want you to remember
00:16:08.483 --> 00:16:12.033
is not now does not mean never.
00:16:13.544 --> 00:16:17.073
You are not giving up because you decide that something cannot receive your
00:16:17.073 --> 00:16:18.664
full attention this month.
00:16:19.558 --> 00:16:26.407
You are recognizing that every yes uses time and energy that cannot be used elsewhere.
00:16:27.033 --> 00:16:34.423
Sometimes the most responsible decision is choosing what you're not going to prioritise right now.
00:16:35.970 --> 00:16:39.656
Part 4. Boundaries protect your priorities.
00:16:41.388 --> 00:16:47.189
Amara's calendar is not only full because of the things she chooses.
00:16:47.722 --> 00:16:50.973
It's also full because she has difficulty saying no.
00:16:51.989 --> 00:16:55.884
She is dependable, so people often come to her when they need help.
00:16:56.505 --> 00:17:01.706
Sometimes she agrees immediately because she does not want to disappoint anyone.
00:17:02.357 --> 00:17:06.670
Afterwards, she tries to arrange her own plans around the new commitment.
00:17:07.924 --> 00:17:13.334
Her work gets pushed later. Her rest disappears. the personal project moves again.
00:17:13.856 --> 00:17:20.078
She tells herself she's being kind. However, kindness that repeatedly requires
00:17:20.078 --> 00:17:24.561
you to abandon yourself will eventually become resentment.
00:17:25.891 --> 00:17:31.608
Boundaries are an essential part of time management. You can use every planner
00:17:31.608 --> 00:17:33.623
and productivity system available,
00:17:34.088 --> 00:17:38.175
but if other people can continually claim your time without limits,
00:17:38.633 --> 00:17:41.274
your schedule will remain out of control.
00:17:42.134 --> 00:17:46.527
A boundary does not mean being cold, selfish or unavailable.
00:17:47.287 --> 00:17:51.565
It means recognising that your time is valuable and finite.
00:17:52.552 --> 00:17:56.900
You cannot say yes to everything without quietly saying no to something else.
00:17:57.788 --> 00:18:02.467
When Amara agrees to another request she maybe say no to sleep,
00:18:02.636 --> 00:18:06.978
exercise, focus work or the evening she needs it to recover.
00:18:08.133 --> 00:18:11.918
The cost is still there even when nobody else sees it.
00:18:12.626 --> 00:18:20.997
Before agreeing to something pause and ask what will this yes require me to move, reduce or give up?
00:18:22.519 --> 00:18:26.467
That question helps you see the full cost of the commitment.
00:18:27.483 --> 00:18:34.289
You may still decide to say yes. However, it becomes a conscious choice rather
00:18:34.289 --> 00:18:36.260
than an automatic reaction.
00:18:37.279 --> 00:18:42.315
Amara begins using simple responses such as, I cannot commit to that this week.
00:18:43.377 --> 00:18:46.913
I can help for 30 minutes but I cannot take on the whole task.
00:18:48.172 --> 00:18:49.719
I need to check my calendar before
00:18:49.719 --> 00:18:54.882
I say yes. I'm not available that evening but I can do the next week.
00:18:57.413 --> 00:19:01.715
I would love to support you but I do not have the capacity right now,
00:19:02.727 --> 00:19:07.649
these responses may feel uncomfortable at first when you're used to being a
00:19:07.649 --> 00:19:12.717
dependable person setting a boundary can feel as though you're letting somebody down,
00:19:13.372 --> 00:19:18.143
however being dependable does not mean being endlessly available.
00:19:18.759 --> 00:19:23.908
You're allowed to protect your time for your health, your goals and your own life.
00:19:24.553 --> 00:19:29.609
Some boundaries also need to be set with yourself. You may need to stop adding
00:19:29.609 --> 00:19:33.550
asked to the week simply because there's an empty square in the planner.
00:19:34.567 --> 00:19:40.632
You may need to avoid agreeing that everything is urgent.
00:19:41.712 --> 00:19:47.610
You may also need a boundary around how late you work, how often you check messages
00:19:48.011 --> 00:19:53.450
or how much of your weekend becomes a recovery service for an overloaded week.
00:19:55.085 --> 00:19:59.526
Boundaries create the space where priorities can actually happen.
00:20:00.172 --> 00:20:06.097
Without them, your calendar may be organised around whoever asks the loudest.
00:20:07.269 --> 00:20:10.195
Part 5. Leaving breathing room.
00:20:12.140 --> 00:20:17.220
By the middle of the week, Amara's original plan begins to collapse because
00:20:17.220 --> 00:20:18.567
it has no breathing room.
00:20:20.401 --> 00:20:26.549
Every hour has a purpose, every evening has a task and every delay creates a problem.
00:20:27.581 --> 00:20:34.923
The week works only if nothing unexpected happens, but life is full of unexpected things.
00:20:36.015 --> 00:20:40.775
A meeting runs over, the train is delayed, somebody becomes unwell,
00:20:40.978 --> 00:20:47.480
an urgent email arrives, your energy drops The task takes twice as long as you expected,
00:20:48.507 --> 00:20:55.101
Breathing room is a space that allows your plan to survive real life It is not wasted time,
00:20:56.338 --> 00:21:00.372
It is what prevents one small delay from taking down the entire week.
00:21:01.778 --> 00:21:05.309
Amara starts leaving one evening completely unplanned.
00:21:06.465 --> 00:21:11.022
At first, she worries she's wasting valuable time.
00:21:11.794 --> 00:21:17.098
However, that evening becomes a space where she can rest, catch up with something
00:21:17.098 --> 00:21:21.325
generally important, or simply respond to whatever the week has brought.
00:21:22.365 --> 00:21:28.018
She also stops filling every weekend. Instead of using Saturday and Sunday to
00:21:28.018 --> 00:21:30.978
complete all the things she could not fit into Monday to Friday,
00:21:31.530 --> 00:21:35.088
she protects part of the weekend for recovery and enjoyment.
00:21:36.299 --> 00:21:42.192
Your free time should not become an overflow drawer for the unrealistic schedule.
00:21:43.412 --> 00:21:48.399
You need space that is not waiting to be claimed by unfinished work.
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:54.587
Breathing room can look like leaving 15 minutes between meetings,
00:21:55.504 --> 00:22:01.896
Keeping one evening free each week Planning only one part of the weekend,
00:22:03.070 --> 00:22:08.918
Allowing extra time for travel Scheduling fewer tasks than you believe you could
00:22:08.918 --> 00:22:13.518
complete Creating a buffer block for unexpected jobs.
00:22:14.813 --> 00:22:21.121
Ending work before the final possible minute Leading space may feel uncomfortable
00:22:21.377 --> 00:22:25.603
if you're used to measuring productivity by how full your calendar looks.
00:22:25.974 --> 00:22:30.020
However, a full calendar is not always evidence of a full life.
00:22:30.630 --> 00:22:34.525
Sometimes it's evidence that your life has no room to breathe.
00:22:35.500 --> 00:22:41.707
You do not have to optimise every hour.
00:22:43.243 --> 00:22:48.119
Some time can simply exist. You're allowed to have an evening with no outcome.
00:22:48.961 --> 00:22:56.612
You're allowed to sit, rest, talk, pray, read, watch television,
00:22:57.030 --> 00:23:00.943
or do something slowly without needing to justify the value of it.
00:23:02.024 --> 00:23:05.785
Time management should help you experience your life.
00:23:06.447 --> 00:23:10.871
It should not turn every part of your life into another task to complete.
00:23:12.783 --> 00:23:19.013
A practical calendar exercise Before we sum up, I want to give you a practical
00:23:19.013 --> 00:23:23.700
exercise Open your calendar and look at the next seven days,
00:23:25.238 --> 00:23:32.243
Do not begin by adding more Instead, begin by noticing what is already there First,
00:23:32.823 --> 00:23:37.773
identify your fixed commitments These might include work, appointments,
00:23:37.773 --> 00:23:43.018
caring responsibilities, travel and anything that genuinely cannot move.
00:23:43.756 --> 00:23:49.103
Next, add the basic things that support you. Include sleep, meals,
00:23:49.683 --> 00:23:54.141
rest, preparation time and anything connected to your health.
00:23:55.106 --> 00:24:00.633
Then look at what space remains. Ask yourself, what do I realistically have
00:24:00.633 --> 00:24:02.372
the capacity for this week?
00:24:03.620 --> 00:24:08.195
Which one or two priorities matter most in this season?
00:24:10.106 --> 00:24:16.325
What can be reduced, postponed or removed? Where do I need a boundary?
00:24:17.610 --> 00:24:19.061
Where is the breathing room?
00:24:20.577 --> 00:24:23.834
Choose one main personal priority for the week.
00:24:24.681 --> 00:24:31.670
It might be your health, a relationship, a piece of life administration or progress on a goal.
00:24:32.448 --> 00:24:37.121
Then choose a minimum version of that priority. For example,
00:24:37.452 --> 00:24:41.326
if your health is a priority, the minimum version might be one walk,
00:24:41.866 --> 00:24:45.277
one health appointment and preparing two simple meals.
00:24:46.609 --> 00:24:53.036
If your personal project is a priority, the minimum version might be one fakest
00:24:53.036 --> 00:24:57.447
hour rather than expecting yourself to work on it every evening.
00:24:58.939 --> 00:25:03.866
Next, choose one thing you are consciously not prioritising this week.
00:25:04.621 --> 00:25:11.656
Write it down You might say, this matters, but this does not need my attention this week,
00:25:13.003 --> 00:25:20.305
Finally, protect one block of breathing room Do not assign it a task in advance,
00:25:20.758 --> 00:25:27.730
Allow it to remain available for rest, catch-up time, or whatever the week genuinely needs,
00:25:28.764 --> 00:25:29.623
Summing up.
00:25:30.970 --> 00:25:36.566
Let us return to Amara Her life is still full, she still has a demanding job,
00:25:36.886 --> 00:25:42.000
family responsibilities, relationships, household tasks and personal goals,
00:25:42.458 --> 00:25:48.176
However, she no longer assumes that every important thing has to happen in the same week,
00:25:49.278 --> 00:25:53.226
She starts with real capacity rather than,
00:25:54.515 --> 00:25:57.946
failing every empty space in the calendar.
00:25:59.285 --> 00:26:04.544
She becomes more honest about how long tasks take and how much energy they require.
00:26:05.381 --> 00:26:14.299
Amara recognises the season of life she is in and allows some priorities to become smaller for now.
00:26:15.304 --> 00:26:19.885
She sets boundaries before agreeing to new commitments. Most importantly,
00:26:20.265 --> 00:26:21.697
she leaves breathing room.
00:26:22.369 --> 00:26:27.695
Her calendar may look less impressive than before. However, her week begins
00:26:27.695 --> 00:26:29.004
to feel more manageable.
00:26:29.978 --> 00:26:34.885
When something unexpected happened the whole plan does not collapse when she
00:26:34.885 --> 00:26:39.532
needs rest she does not have to steal it from another part of her life,
00:26:40.600 --> 00:26:44.705
she also stops telling herself that she needs to manage her time better every
00:26:44.705 --> 00:26:48.286
time she cannot complete an impossible plan,
00:26:49.104 --> 00:26:56.197
sometimes the answer is not better time management sometimes the answer is fewer priorities,
00:26:57.250 --> 00:27:07.465
lovelies you have 24 hours in a day no planner app or morning routine can create a 25th hour.
00:27:08.638 --> 00:27:15.604
Your time is limited and that does not mean you are failing it means your choices matter,
00:27:16.306 --> 00:27:22.215
you are allowed to decide that something cannot fit right now you're allowed
00:27:22.215 --> 00:27:28.154
to protect your evenings, you are allowed to need recovery time,
00:27:28.619 --> 00:27:36.299
you are allowed to prioritise one area of your life without making equal progress everywhere else,
00:27:37.268 --> 00:27:44.269
and you are allowed to build a calendar that supports the person living inside it.
00:27:45.074 --> 00:27:49.805
This week I want you to stop asking how can I fit everything in.
00:27:50.316 --> 00:27:57.885
Instead, ask, what genuinely matters in this season and what do I realistically
00:27:58.268 --> 00:28:00.260
have the capacity to hold?
00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:08.135
Question may not give you a perfect week however it can give you a more honest one.
00:28:09.803 --> 00:28:14.580
Thank you so much for spending time with me if today's episode supported you
00:28:14.696 --> 00:28:21.082
please follow or subscribe to cappuccinos and confidence with neffy wherever you're listening,
00:28:21.802 --> 00:28:26.750
please also share this episode with a woman who is trying to fit too many important
00:28:26.750 --> 00:28:30.033
things into one very full week,
00:28:31.270 --> 00:28:36.240
for a broader look at how your time and energy are currently being divided across
00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:42.141
your life download my free will of life worksheet from nefiaguntalaya.com,
00:28:43.023 --> 00:28:49.570
the worksheet will help you reflect on areas such as work health relationships
00:28:49.570 --> 00:28:55.527
personal goals finance and well-being so you can see where you feel fulfilled
00:28:55.910 --> 00:28:57.873
and where you may want to change.
00:28:59.016 --> 00:29:04.050
You can also visit nephiagunto.com to read the full transcript and explore more
00:29:04.050 --> 00:29:11.410
resources around confidence, routines, boundaries and creating a life that genuinely supports you.
00:29:12.153 --> 00:29:18.800
Until next time, be honest about your capacity, protect what matters and leave
00:29:18.800 --> 00:29:20.579
yourself some room to breathe.
00:29:21.659 --> 00:29:26.670
You do not need to fit everything in you need to create space for what matters
00:29:26.670 --> 00:29:33.732
most you've got this and I'm right here with you with love neffy bye.