00:00:00Changing Habits to Change Identity
00:10:43Changing Beliefs to Achieve Goals
00:16:43Private Facebook Group for Self-Improvement
ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Ever wonder how a simple change in your daily routine can redefine who you are? Join me, Sarah Hamill, as we venture beyond the mere mechanics of habit formation and into the transformative world where habits and identity intersect. We delve deep into the philosophy that adopting new habits is less about the habits themselves and more about evolving our self-perception. By embracing the mindset of the person you yearn to become—like making choices a 'healthy person' would—you can ignite real change. Prepare to be guided through a journey of self-discovery, where we learn that adopting believable truths is the key to fostering genuine belief in our ability to transform.
Exciting news for our listeners: we're launching a private Facebook group—a sanctuary for our community to gather, exchange ideas, and put the strategies discussed into action. In this episode, I also share how reframing negative self-beliefs and declaring our new, empowering beliefs to others can solidify our self-concept and foster lasting habit formation. Drawing wisdom from "Atomic Habits" by James Clear, and sprinkled with my own personal anecdotes, this conversation is more than a guide to better habits—it's a catalyst for reshaping your identity and aligning it with your most ambitious goals. So, let's embrace this transformative mindset together and march confidently toward our desired futures.
English
United States
SHOW NOTES 🔗
TRANSCRIPT 🔗
Speaker 1:
0:00
Welcome to the Can Things Get Better podcast with Sarah Hamill. Hey y'all, my name is Sarah and welcome back for week two of our book club for Atomic Habits by James Clear. So today, like I said, we're going through chapter two and that is titled how your Habits Shape your Identity and Vice Versa habits shape your identity and vice versa. So this is actually kind of a short chapter. I listened to this chapter twice just so I could go through it really quickly with y'all. This will probably be a shorter episode than we had last time, but the basis of this chapter is primarily focusing focusing on how, when you are working on changing something about yourself, it is really not about changing your habits. It is more about changing who you see yourself as, and this is something that has been talked about in a lot of different ways from various people. So one thing that I was thinking about when I was listening to this chapter was that when you are trying to change yourself, oftentimes you're still identifying as that old you. So if we're looking at a habit, like something that a lot of people work on, such as being healthier, you are identifying as that person that you currently are. Right, of course you are, because that's who you are, that's who you have been. So when you are doing that, you are still being that person on your day to day life as well, right? Well, you're looking at me like I'm an idiot, like, well, no crap, that's what I'm doing. But this is where this comes into to be really important. So, let's say, your identity right now is you feel like you're an unhealthy person. You think to yourself maybe some negative thoughts, like I'm fat, I'm always going to be fat, I can't become the person that I want to be because I am always going to be fat. Now, part of you knows that that's not true. Part of you knows that you want to make changes in your life and that you can in that area. Right, and that's why you have the goal of wanting to lose weight. However, when you're going through your day to day life, you're still living as that person that believes that they're going to be fat and they're always going to be fat. There's nothing that they can do. Okay, so this is a big mind shift change and it's something that can be really difficult, but it also can be as simple, as like.
Speaker 1:
2:50
The example in the book talked about his friend who lost weight because she decided to live like what she felt like a skinny person would live like, right? So his example was the friend decided throughout her whole day to make decisions off and on throughout the day of what she thought a skinny person would do. So that would look like something like when choosing what to eat that day, thinking, okay, well, what would a skinny person eat versus what would I eat, right? I think it's really important when you're looking at that thought process of where you are to where you want to be, first of all, you don't want to shame yourself in I'm not good enough, but not just I'm not good enough, but also shaming your decisions, because, like James also talks about in this chapter, you don't have to be perfect for yourself to be able to make positive change in your life, right? So, if we're sticking with the weight loss example, I want to lose a certain amount of weight, so I'm going to make daily choices to do that. And then, when you start to first address looking at yourself as I am a healthy person instead of looking at yourself like I'm unhealthy I need to lose weight, shifting your mindset to I am a healthy person, I am working on becoming a healthy person. That shift will help your mind start to believe that that's who you are, and I think that that's the biggest thing that this chapter is talking about, because the mind is so, so powerful, and I know if you've been in this self-improvement journey for any length of time, you have probably been beat to death with how powerful your mind is, however it really is. So the hard part is, though, is that when you're looking at, you know we'll hear about speaking positive affirmations to yourself and all of that kind of stuff, and I think a lot of times we are getting beat to death with this idea that you know your life is just going to change.
Speaker 1:
5:26
If you're just looking at yourself in the mirror and saying I am awesome, I am smart, I am brave, mind isn't going to believe it. If you are, if you are saying something that is just completely not true, it has to have some what of a truth to it for your mind to believe it, right? Does that make sense? So, like if I said that I'm a six to basketball star over and over to myself in my head, my mind is going to be like no, sarah, you were five, four, completely uncoordinated girl that's never played basketball. Right, my mind isn't going to believe it. It doesn't matter how much I repeat it to myself, it's not going to believe it because there's no part of that that is true. Outside of that I'm a female.
Speaker 1:
6:32
Okay, however, if you look at let's go back to the weight loss goal. Okay, if you look at that and say, say you have a goal weight because often most of us that's where we start we have a goal weight I think that some people in that industry are starting to shift that mindset to just be healthy versus having a goal weight. But many of us are still in that goal weight category, myself included. So let's say you have a goal weight of a certain amount and you know to reach that goal, you need to be living a healthier lifestyle. So, shifting your mindset to that person that lives that healthier lifestyle one person and I can't remember who it was that was talking about it was if you have a goal it was that was talking about. It was if you have a goal. So you have this goal that you want to reach and you're trying to figure out how you're going to get to that goal.
Speaker 1:
7:32
First you need to identify where you are right now, right, and then you have this goal and you need to think about who do I need to be as a person to reach this goal, okay, and so in this chapter that's what we're talking about is the mindset who do I need to be? What would have to be true for me to be that person? So what would have to be true for you to reach that weight loss goal? What would have to be true? So what would have to be true is you eat vegetables every day. What would have to be true is you worked out three to four times a week. What would have to be true is you love your body and you take care of your body, right? Those are things that would have to be true for you to be that person, okay, so that is also going to help you identify what habits you might need to form.
Speaker 1:
8:39
So maybe you know your goal and you know your why you want to reach that goal, but you don't know. Maybe you don't know you want to reach that goal but you don't know. Maybe you don't know the steps to reach that goal, and so if you have a hard time filling in those spots, the best thing to do is to look at other people that have done those things. So success leaves clues, like Tony Robbins always says. Success leaves clues. Success leaves clues. Like Tony Robbins always says, success leaves clues. And so if you don't know how to go from where you are to that goal weight that you want to be at, you need to find somebody that has been successful in completing that goal.
Speaker 1:
9:20
Now let's talk about a different goal. Let's say you have the goal to be more financially stable. You maybe are at one place, say you have a certain amount of debt not able to pay your bills, and then you have this goal out here that you want to be debt free. You want to be able to afford paying all your bills. Simple enough, right? You think, okay, so I just need to work really hard and eventually I'll make that goal out there in the future. However, a lot of times that's not how it is. So, reaching into the resources that we have available to us today, like this podcast, like various books, various programs have ways to guide you through the steps you need to take to be financially stable. So in that time period, we need to work on changing our mindset. So, if you are going to work on the goal of being financially free, you not only have to take the steps to start working towards that goal, you also have to change that mindset of who you think you are.
Speaker 1:
10:43
So if you believe that you are bad at money, if you're bad at saving, if you are an impulsive spender, whatever those limiting beliefs are that you believe that has been keeping you from achieving that goal, you have to shift those to be something that you want them to be to reach your goal. If that makes sense. So say I believe that I am bad at saving money. What would have to be true for you to be financially stable is that you are good at saving money, right? So the exact opposite. So if you just jump from I'm bad at saving money to I'm good at saving money, your brain like we already were talking about right, your brain is not going to believe you. It's not going to believe you. Don't try it. Okay, don't try it. You have to shift that belief. So one way that you can shift that belief is by making that statement more real for you. So maybe instead of saying I'm good at saving money, you say I'm committed to being good at saving money, because that in your brain is going to shift the idea of I know that I'm not very good right now, but I'm committed to getting better and then we can start to change that identity slowly, because it can be really, really difficult, especially if it's something that's really ingrained in you, that you believe, and you've believed it maybe your whole life, and that's why you keep falling back into these old patterns of not doing what you want to do right.
Speaker 1:
12:48
So, getting back to our book here, when it comes to atomic habits, like James Clear talks about, when we're doing the habits every day, that is convincing ourself that we are those people. We are those people that are good at our money, we are those people that eat healthy, we are those people that take care of our bodies right. So when you're doing those habits, it's telling your brain that you are that person doing those habits. It's telling your brain that you are that person and and to me it's kind of one of those chicken before the egg situations right, like, to be able to do the habits, you have to believe that you are the person that does those things right, but to believe you are the person that does those things, you have to do those habits, but to believe you are the person that does those things. You have to do those habits and it doesn't have to be that way. That's why, when you are addressing this goal of I want to be at this certain weight, or I want to have this certain amount of money, or I want to be a rock star, I want to learn how to play the guitar. I am a musician, you know. That's something that he talks about in here, right? He's using that. I am a musician, I am not trying to be a musician.
Speaker 1:
14:14
It really depends on the habit and how you reframe that in your mind so that it is believable. So another example would be learning to play the guitar right. So if you have a goal to be able to play the guitar, it's not a lie to your brain if you tell yourself I play the guitar If you have been practicing, if you've been learning, if you've been going to lessons right, that's not a lie. You say I play the guitar If you have been practicing, if you've been learning, if you've been going to lessons right, that's not a lie. You say I play the guitar. What do you do for fun? I play the guitar. That isn't a lie, right. So it really depends on the goal. Do you need to restructure that phrasing so that way your brain believes it, or is it something that your brain is going to believe as long as you are actually doing it?
Speaker 1:
15:06
So, say, you want to write a book, you telling yourself I am a writer. As long as you are writing every day, you are a writer. Okay, doesn't mean you're paid, doesn't mean you are an author, right, you're. Maybe you're not a book author, but you're a writer, okay. And so that changing your belief is going to happen. And the other aspect of that is as much as you're telling yourself this when you're talking to other people about the things that you enjoy, about who you are, what you want to be, I'm personally, right now, I'm single. So that's a question that I tend to answer a lot, right, because one of the first questions that you get asked is what do you do for a living, what do you do for fun? And so when I say I'm a boutique owner and I do this, then that's true, and so for me, it ingrains that belief even deeper. Every time you tell somebody else what your belief is and you're telling yourself, that is going to ingrain that belief even deeper and it's going to help you maintain these habits that you're working on. Okay, so the story long story short is that to be able to do our habits on a consistent basis, we need to change our beliefs so that we believe that we are the kind of person that would do those habits. And that's the end of this chapter. I hope y'all are having an awesome week. I hope y'all are having an awesome week.
Speaker 1:
16:43
I wanted to let you know that after we started this blog or I started because there's I, there's this is like the formal we. Okay, when I say we, it is me, I am the only person doing this right now, anyways. So after we started this blog, I decided to create a private Facebook group so that way we could sit and discuss things. You know there's going to be things that are going to help you motivate in there. There's going to be different worksheets, so that way, you can actually implement these things that we're talking about in your life. A lot of times, when we are working on something, we really need something concrete to be able to reference to, and if you're writing things down, it's going to stick in your brain better than if you just listen or watch it. Okay, so I did create this private Facebook group. You can sign up for this on the link below and it's just supporting the blog, and then you will be asked to just support a small payment that I think the minimum is $3 a month, and that's just to support the podcast.
Speaker 1:
17:54
I think I said blog, but that's to support the podcast and, like I said, it's just me pouring all my love and heart out to you guys, because I really want you guys to be able to keep growing and working on your goals, and I know how hard it is to be able to stay motivated in this world of in space, where sometimes it's overwhelming.
Speaker 1:
18:22
So for me, I know that creating any change for a really long time for me was very, very difficult, and that's why I started on the self-improvement journey, cause I was trying to figure out how to make it better, how could I be better and it not be so dang hard to be better, it not be so dang hard to be better, and that was really my motivation for going on my self improvement journey, and so I just wanted to share that with you guys. That you know I really hope that you are benefiting from this podcast. I really hope that you're sharing it with people that you think will benefit from it, and I hope that you will join us in our private Facebook group. It's still pretty small right now, but you're getting in at a good time. We can create a community and create a family and really work on this journey of self-improvement together. No-transcript. No-transcript.
0:00
Welcome to the Can Things Get Better podcast with Sarah Hamill. Hey y'all, my name is Sarah and welcome back for week two of our book club for Atomic Habits by James Clear. So today, like I said, we're going through chapter two and that is titled how your Habits Shape your Identity and Vice Versa habits shape your identity and vice versa. So this is actually kind of a short chapter. I listened to this chapter twice just so I could go through it really quickly with y'all. This will probably be a shorter episode than we had last time, but the basis of this chapter is primarily focusing focusing on how, when you are working on changing something about yourself, it is really not about changing your habits. It is more about changing who you see yourself as, and this is something that has been talked about in a lot of different ways from various people. So one thing that I was thinking about when I was listening to this chapter was that when you are trying to change yourself, oftentimes you're still identifying as that old you. So if we're looking at a habit, like something that a lot of people work on, such as being healthier, you are identifying as that person that you currently are. Right, of course you are, because that's who you are, that's who you have been. So when you are doing that, you are still being that person on your day to day life as well, right? Well, you're looking at me like I'm an idiot, like, well, no crap, that's what I'm doing. But this is where this comes into to be really important. So, let's say, your identity right now is you feel like you're an unhealthy person. You think to yourself maybe some negative thoughts, like I'm fat, I'm always going to be fat, I can't become the person that I want to be because I am always going to be fat. Now, part of you knows that that's not true. Part of you knows that you want to make changes in your life and that you can in that area. Right, and that's why you have the goal of wanting to lose weight. However, when you're going through your day to day life, you're still living as that person that believes that they're going to be fat and they're always going to be fat. There's nothing that they can do. Okay, so this is a big mind shift change and it's something that can be really difficult, but it also can be as simple, as like.
Speaker 1:
2:50
The example in the book talked about his friend who lost weight because she decided to live like what she felt like a skinny person would live like, right? So his example was the friend decided throughout her whole day to make decisions off and on throughout the day of what she thought a skinny person would do. So that would look like something like when choosing what to eat that day, thinking, okay, well, what would a skinny person eat versus what would I eat, right? I think it's really important when you're looking at that thought process of where you are to where you want to be, first of all, you don't want to shame yourself in I'm not good enough, but not just I'm not good enough, but also shaming your decisions, because, like James also talks about in this chapter, you don't have to be perfect for yourself to be able to make positive change in your life, right? So, if we're sticking with the weight loss example, I want to lose a certain amount of weight, so I'm going to make daily choices to do that. And then, when you start to first address looking at yourself as I am a healthy person instead of looking at yourself like I'm unhealthy I need to lose weight, shifting your mindset to I am a healthy person, I am working on becoming a healthy person. That shift will help your mind start to believe that that's who you are, and I think that that's the biggest thing that this chapter is talking about, because the mind is so, so powerful, and I know if you've been in this self-improvement journey for any length of time, you have probably been beat to death with how powerful your mind is, however it really is. So the hard part is, though, is that when you're looking at, you know we'll hear about speaking positive affirmations to yourself and all of that kind of stuff, and I think a lot of times we are getting beat to death with this idea that you know your life is just going to change.
Speaker 1:
5:26
If you're just looking at yourself in the mirror and saying I am awesome, I am smart, I am brave, mind isn't going to believe it. If you are, if you are saying something that is just completely not true, it has to have some what of a truth to it for your mind to believe it, right? Does that make sense? So, like if I said that I'm a six to basketball star over and over to myself in my head, my mind is going to be like no, sarah, you were five, four, completely uncoordinated girl that's never played basketball. Right, my mind isn't going to believe it. It doesn't matter how much I repeat it to myself, it's not going to believe it because there's no part of that that is true. Outside of that I'm a female.
Speaker 1:
6:32
Okay, however, if you look at let's go back to the weight loss goal. Okay, if you look at that and say, say you have a goal weight because often most of us that's where we start we have a goal weight I think that some people in that industry are starting to shift that mindset to just be healthy versus having a goal weight. But many of us are still in that goal weight category, myself included. So let's say you have a goal weight of a certain amount and you know to reach that goal, you need to be living a healthier lifestyle. So, shifting your mindset to that person that lives that healthier lifestyle one person and I can't remember who it was that was talking about it was if you have a goal it was that was talking about. It was if you have a goal. So you have this goal that you want to reach and you're trying to figure out how you're going to get to that goal.
Speaker 1:
7:32
First you need to identify where you are right now, right, and then you have this goal and you need to think about who do I need to be as a person to reach this goal, okay, and so in this chapter that's what we're talking about is the mindset who do I need to be? What would have to be true for me to be that person? So what would have to be true for you to reach that weight loss goal? What would have to be true? So what would have to be true is you eat vegetables every day. What would have to be true is you worked out three to four times a week. What would have to be true is you love your body and you take care of your body, right? Those are things that would have to be true for you to be that person, okay, so that is also going to help you identify what habits you might need to form.
Speaker 1:
8:39
So maybe you know your goal and you know your why you want to reach that goal, but you don't know. Maybe you don't know you want to reach that goal but you don't know. Maybe you don't know the steps to reach that goal, and so if you have a hard time filling in those spots, the best thing to do is to look at other people that have done those things. So success leaves clues, like Tony Robbins always says. Success leaves clues. Success leaves clues. Like Tony Robbins always says, success leaves clues. And so if you don't know how to go from where you are to that goal weight that you want to be at, you need to find somebody that has been successful in completing that goal.
Speaker 1:
9:20
Now let's talk about a different goal. Let's say you have the goal to be more financially stable. You maybe are at one place, say you have a certain amount of debt not able to pay your bills, and then you have this goal out here that you want to be debt free. You want to be able to afford paying all your bills. Simple enough, right? You think, okay, so I just need to work really hard and eventually I'll make that goal out there in the future. However, a lot of times that's not how it is. So, reaching into the resources that we have available to us today, like this podcast, like various books, various programs have ways to guide you through the steps you need to take to be financially stable. So in that time period, we need to work on changing our mindset. So, if you are going to work on the goal of being financially free, you not only have to take the steps to start working towards that goal, you also have to change that mindset of who you think you are.
Speaker 1:
10:43
So if you believe that you are bad at money, if you're bad at saving, if you are an impulsive spender, whatever those limiting beliefs are that you believe that has been keeping you from achieving that goal, you have to shift those to be something that you want them to be to reach your goal. If that makes sense. So say I believe that I am bad at saving money. What would have to be true for you to be financially stable is that you are good at saving money, right? So the exact opposite. So if you just jump from I'm bad at saving money to I'm good at saving money, your brain like we already were talking about right, your brain is not going to believe you. It's not going to believe you. Don't try it. Okay, don't try it. You have to shift that belief. So one way that you can shift that belief is by making that statement more real for you. So maybe instead of saying I'm good at saving money, you say I'm committed to being good at saving money, because that in your brain is going to shift the idea of I know that I'm not very good right now, but I'm committed to getting better and then we can start to change that identity slowly, because it can be really, really difficult, especially if it's something that's really ingrained in you, that you believe, and you've believed it maybe your whole life, and that's why you keep falling back into these old patterns of not doing what you want to do right.
Speaker 1:
12:48
So, getting back to our book here, when it comes to atomic habits, like James Clear talks about, when we're doing the habits every day, that is convincing ourself that we are those people. We are those people that are good at our money, we are those people that eat healthy, we are those people that take care of our bodies right. So when you're doing those habits, it's telling your brain that you are that person doing those habits. It's telling your brain that you are that person and and to me it's kind of one of those chicken before the egg situations right, like, to be able to do the habits, you have to believe that you are the person that does those things right, but to believe you are the person that does those things, you have to do those habits, but to believe you are the person that does those things. You have to do those habits and it doesn't have to be that way. That's why, when you are addressing this goal of I want to be at this certain weight, or I want to have this certain amount of money, or I want to be a rock star, I want to learn how to play the guitar. I am a musician, you know. That's something that he talks about in here, right? He's using that. I am a musician, I am not trying to be a musician.
Speaker 1:
14:14
It really depends on the habit and how you reframe that in your mind so that it is believable. So another example would be learning to play the guitar right. So if you have a goal to be able to play the guitar, it's not a lie to your brain if you tell yourself I play the guitar If you have been practicing, if you've been learning, if you've been going to lessons right, that's not a lie. You say I play the guitar If you have been practicing, if you've been learning, if you've been going to lessons right, that's not a lie. You say I play the guitar. What do you do for fun? I play the guitar. That isn't a lie, right. So it really depends on the goal. Do you need to restructure that phrasing so that way your brain believes it, or is it something that your brain is going to believe as long as you are actually doing it?
Speaker 1:
15:06
So, say, you want to write a book, you telling yourself I am a writer. As long as you are writing every day, you are a writer. Okay, doesn't mean you're paid, doesn't mean you are an author, right, you're. Maybe you're not a book author, but you're a writer, okay. And so that changing your belief is going to happen. And the other aspect of that is as much as you're telling yourself this when you're talking to other people about the things that you enjoy, about who you are, what you want to be, I'm personally, right now, I'm single. So that's a question that I tend to answer a lot, right, because one of the first questions that you get asked is what do you do for a living, what do you do for fun? And so when I say I'm a boutique owner and I do this, then that's true, and so for me, it ingrains that belief even deeper. Every time you tell somebody else what your belief is and you're telling yourself, that is going to ingrain that belief even deeper and it's going to help you maintain these habits that you're working on. Okay, so the story long story short is that to be able to do our habits on a consistent basis, we need to change our beliefs so that we believe that we are the kind of person that would do those habits. And that's the end of this chapter. I hope y'all are having an awesome week. I hope y'all are having an awesome week.
Speaker 1:
16:43
I wanted to let you know that after we started this blog or I started because there's I, there's this is like the formal we. Okay, when I say we, it is me, I am the only person doing this right now, anyways. So after we started this blog, I decided to create a private Facebook group so that way we could sit and discuss things. You know there's going to be things that are going to help you motivate in there. There's going to be different worksheets, so that way, you can actually implement these things that we're talking about in your life. A lot of times, when we are working on something, we really need something concrete to be able to reference to, and if you're writing things down, it's going to stick in your brain better than if you just listen or watch it. Okay, so I did create this private Facebook group. You can sign up for this on the link below and it's just supporting the blog, and then you will be asked to just support a small payment that I think the minimum is $3 a month, and that's just to support the podcast.
Speaker 1:
17:54
I think I said blog, but that's to support the podcast and, like I said, it's just me pouring all my love and heart out to you guys, because I really want you guys to be able to keep growing and working on your goals, and I know how hard it is to be able to stay motivated in this world of in space, where sometimes it's overwhelming.
Speaker 1:
18:22
So for me, I know that creating any change for a really long time for me was very, very difficult, and that's why I started on the self-improvement journey, cause I was trying to figure out how to make it better, how could I be better and it not be so dang hard to be better, it not be so dang hard to be better, and that was really my motivation for going on my self improvement journey, and so I just wanted to share that with you guys. That you know I really hope that you are benefiting from this podcast. I really hope that you're sharing it with people that you think will benefit from it, and I hope that you will join us in our private Facebook group. It's still pretty small right now, but you're getting in at a good time. We can create a community and create a family and really work on this journey of self-improvement together. No-transcript. No-transcript.
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