Aubrey O’Day: Overcoming Toxic Men (ft. Diddy, Trump & Pauly D) (FBF)

WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.370 --> 00:00:09.570
Thank you. Good nights are about the people, the laughs,
2
00:00:10.089 --> 00:00:12.849
the real moments you don't want to miss. So why
3
00:00:12.910 --> 00:00:17.899
step outside? Velo tobacco-free nicotine pouches fits seamlessly into your night.
4
00:00:18.140 --> 00:00:23.059
Convenient and full of flavor. No breaks, no interruptions. Velo anytime,
5
00:00:23.179 --> 00:00:27.059
anywhere nicotine pouches. 18 and over contains tobacco-free nicotine and
6
00:00:27.100 --> 00:00:29.300
addictive substance. If you're new to Velo, start with Mellow.
7
00:00:29.379 --> 00:00:30.899
You should not use this product if you do not
8
00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:35.520
already use nicotine. Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
9
00:00:35.700 --> 00:00:37.039
I know what you mean, Coo Collum.
10
00:00:37.240 --> 00:00:40.340
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
11
00:00:40.479 --> 00:00:42.600
Eating tons of fresh grass.
12
00:00:42.759 --> 00:00:43.039
What?
13
00:00:43.179 --> 00:00:44.500
Not you, or cows.
14
00:00:44.759 --> 00:00:47.619
That's one of the reasons Irish milk is so good.
15
00:00:47.869 --> 00:00:49.350
It's famous all.
16
00:00:49.270 --> 00:00:50.770
Over the world. Legend.
17
00:00:51.049 --> 00:00:54.990
Dairy. Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable
18
00:00:55.070 --> 00:00:58.469
actions help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend.
19
00:00:58.770 --> 00:01:01.090
Always look for the National Dairy Council guarantee.
20
00:01:01.259 --> 00:01:03.320
Learn more at ndc.ie.
21
00:01:03.539 --> 00:01:06.620
Tired of your five-minute style turning into a 40-minute workout?
22
00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:09.359
With Dyson and Char Care Care from Appliances Delivered, you'll
23
00:01:09.379 --> 00:01:12.959
get faster styling, frizz control and salon-worthy shine without the
24
00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:13.560
sweat and tears.
25
00:01:13.909 --> 00:01:14.549
Good hair days.
26
00:01:14.829 --> 00:01:18.209
Consider them delivered. If it's online, it's in stock with
27
00:01:18.349 --> 00:01:20.489
quick delivery. Proud part of Expert Electrical.
28
00:01:20.730 --> 00:01:21.890
AppliancesDelivered.ie.
29
00:01:22.090 --> 00:01:23.549
See it, buy it, get it delivered.
30
00:01:27.469 --> 00:01:30.670
What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father,
31
00:01:30.930 --> 00:01:37.359
Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Aubrey O'Day, welcome to
32
00:01:37.400 --> 00:01:38.200
Call Her Daddy.
33
00:01:38.319 --> 00:01:39.340
Thank you for having me.
34
00:01:39.640 --> 00:01:43.099
I am so excited to have you here. I remember...
35
00:01:43.329 --> 00:01:48.370
watching you in 2005 on the biggest show on MTV
36
00:01:48.390 --> 00:01:51.730
at the time, making the band. This show was essentially
37
00:01:51.930 --> 00:01:55.819
the original X Factor. People were auditioning. It was thousands
38
00:01:55.859 --> 00:01:58.519
of people and they put the best people together to
39
00:01:58.579 --> 00:02:01.140
form a band. Danity Kane, which is the band that
40
00:02:01.159 --> 00:02:04.219
you were a part of, People need to understand that
41
00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:07.560
like this show and this band that was created.
42
00:02:07.579 --> 00:02:11.210
It was the first reality show that followed singers. Like
43
00:02:11.250 --> 00:02:13.229
it was before, it was before American Idol.
44
00:02:13.990 --> 00:02:16.270
I remember watching the show, Aubrey, I'm not kidding you.
45
00:02:16.289 --> 00:02:19.930
I was, and I think the entire world was enamored
46
00:02:20.030 --> 00:02:23.449
by you. You were so popular. What do you remember
47
00:02:23.629 --> 00:02:27.349
about captivating that many people at that time?
48
00:02:28.229 --> 00:02:30.030
So it's funny you say that because I don't even,
49
00:02:30.050 --> 00:02:33.710
I can't even like associate with that. We were so
50
00:02:34.389 --> 00:02:38.610
removed from everything. When you're in Puff's world, everything revolves
51
00:02:38.669 --> 00:02:41.469
around Puff. We didn't know. We were just working so much.
52
00:02:41.509 --> 00:02:44.500
We would be at like 6 a.m. morning radio. We'd
53
00:02:44.520 --> 00:02:46.960
take a flight to the afternoon MySpace event. Then we'd
54
00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:49.240
be at night on our tour. We'd do an after
55
00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:51.280
party and then we'd be back on a plane 6 a.m.
56
00:02:51.319 --> 00:02:54.110
next morning show. We hustled like that for years.
57
00:02:54.389 --> 00:02:56.780
So you didn't even understand like the gravity of the situation,
58
00:02:56.819 --> 00:02:59.180
which was like you were the it girl in the
59
00:02:59.219 --> 00:03:02.099
band and the band had become so successful and everyone
60
00:03:02.139 --> 00:03:04.150
was obsessed with it. You didn't even know that.
61
00:03:04.949 --> 00:03:06.889
No, I mean, I didn't know the extent. I knew
62
00:03:06.909 --> 00:03:09.009
that we I could see what we were the numbers
63
00:03:09.050 --> 00:03:11.310
we were selling. I could see us charting things like that.
64
00:03:11.710 --> 00:03:13.939
but I didn't know we had such an impact.
65
00:03:14.180 --> 00:03:16.740
Got it. And again, to give people context, like you
66
00:03:16.759 --> 00:03:18.879
didn't have an Instagram account at the time. No, there
67
00:03:18.900 --> 00:03:19.479
was nothing.
68
00:03:19.620 --> 00:03:22.199
There was MySpace. There was my website.
69
00:03:22.500 --> 00:03:25.419
So let's go back to the audition process.
70
00:03:25.479 --> 00:03:45.610
Okay. Okay. Thank you.
71
00:03:49.319 --> 00:03:53.080
Good nights are about the people, the laughs, the real
72
00:03:53.120 --> 00:03:56.330
moments you don't want to miss. So why step outside?
73
00:03:57.210 --> 00:04:01.250
Velo tobacco-free nicotine pouches fits seamlessly into your night. Convenient
74
00:04:01.469 --> 00:04:05.680
and full of flavor. No breaks, no interruptions. Velo anytime,
75
00:04:05.810 --> 00:04:09.680
anywhere nicotine pouches. 18 and over contains tobacco-free nicotine and
76
00:04:09.719 --> 00:04:11.939
addictive substance. If you're new to Velo, start with Mellow.
77
00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:13.520
You should not use this product if you do not
78
00:04:13.620 --> 00:04:14.419
already use nicotine.
79
00:04:17.660 --> 00:04:20.220
Due to the leaves falling in autumn and the challenges
80
00:04:20.279 --> 00:04:23.519
this brings, Eireann Road Airan wishes to advise customers that
81
00:04:23.560 --> 00:04:26.560
a revised timetable will take effect on Dart and Dublin
82
00:04:26.610 --> 00:04:31.550
commuter routes from Monday, September 21st until December 12th. Morning
83
00:04:31.589 --> 00:04:34.589
and evening peak services will be affected with some earlier
84
00:04:34.629 --> 00:04:37.670
departure times. Please check travel times on the Eireann Road
85
00:04:37.769 --> 00:04:41.850
Airan app or irishrail.ie. Eireann Road Airan is part of
86
00:04:41.870 --> 00:04:43.290
the Transport for Ireland network.
87
00:04:48.699 --> 00:04:51.980
That's the thing about doors. Open one and whole new
88
00:04:52.019 --> 00:04:57.259
worlds suddenly become possible. If you're searching for your new
89
00:04:57.319 --> 00:04:59.699
home in Leish, the first thing you need to open
90
00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:04.740
is MyHome, Ireland's trusted property platform. With custom filters, property
91
00:05:04.779 --> 00:05:08.139
alerts and a hub of advice, available online or in app,
92
00:05:08.579 --> 00:05:11.699
it's the smart way to buy, sell or rent your home.
93
00:05:12.199 --> 00:05:15.350
Start searching and find your happy place at myhome.ie.
94
00:05:16.810 --> 00:05:20.509
So let's go back to the audition process. Okay. Do
95
00:05:20.569 --> 00:05:22.889
you remember the first day? Like, what were you wearing?
96
00:05:22.910 --> 00:05:24.829
Did you have to wait in a line? Like, can
97
00:05:24.850 --> 00:05:27.029
you try to remember that day? Okay.
98
00:05:27.069 --> 00:05:31.209
So I was, I had just taken the LSAT. I
99
00:05:31.250 --> 00:05:34.230
wanted to go to Columbia and study international law. I
100
00:05:34.250 --> 00:05:38.449
have a family of attorneys. And my mom called me
101
00:05:38.889 --> 00:05:41.189
the day before and she said, hey, I think you're
102
00:05:41.209 --> 00:05:43.750
going to be miserable being a lawyer. There's a glass ceiling.
103
00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:48.620
You're far too creative. And then she said Diddy's, a
104
00:05:48.689 --> 00:05:53.029
guy named P. Diddy was doing a competition show on
105
00:05:53.069 --> 00:05:56.170
making the band. He wanted to start like an international
106
00:05:56.209 --> 00:05:59.029
girl group on television. And he was looking for girls
107
00:05:59.069 --> 00:06:02.730
that sang like Christina and danced like Britney. And the
108
00:06:02.790 --> 00:06:04.610
next morning I woke up and I called my boyfriend
109
00:06:04.649 --> 00:06:06.290
in college and was like, hey, can you take me
110
00:06:06.329 --> 00:06:09.120
to this audition? I'm scared to drive to LA. And
111
00:06:09.180 --> 00:06:11.639
he was like, I can, I'm working. And so I
112
00:06:11.639 --> 00:06:14.000
was like, no problem. It wasn't meant to be. And
113
00:06:14.459 --> 00:06:16.180
I went on to campus. I was going to my
114
00:06:16.220 --> 00:06:17.839
poli sci class. And then he called me and he
115
00:06:17.860 --> 00:06:19.759
was like, hey, they let me go for the day.
116
00:06:20.160 --> 00:06:22.300
I'll take you. So I jumped in his car. I
117
00:06:22.339 --> 00:06:24.759
was wearing the outfit I had on to class, to
118
00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:27.540
go to class in. And I went to this audition.
119
00:06:27.579 --> 00:06:31.399
There were girls wrapped around wherever we were, the forum
120
00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:34.990
or some big theater. And I was like, there's no way.
121
00:06:35.029 --> 00:06:36.709
I got out of the car and everyone was singing
122
00:06:36.730 --> 00:06:38.949
Whitney better than Whitney. And I was like, there is
123
00:06:39.209 --> 00:06:43.930
no way. And then this producer that I'm now very
124
00:06:43.970 --> 00:06:46.860
close with, she pulled me out of line and she
125
00:06:46.920 --> 00:06:49.420
was like, tell me about you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
126
00:06:49.439 --> 00:06:51.540
We had a little interview. And then she pulled me
127
00:06:51.579 --> 00:06:54.639
to the top of the line and I went and auditioned.
128
00:06:55.680 --> 00:06:57.790
Why do you think she picked you out of that lineup?
129
00:07:01.149 --> 00:07:03.269
God, probably because of the way I looked maybe.
130
00:07:03.290 --> 00:07:03.470
Mm-hmm.
131
00:07:03.910 --> 00:07:04.189
Yeah.
132
00:07:04.329 --> 00:07:05.750
That's what it always is first.
133
00:07:06.209 --> 00:07:09.230
You mentioned the name Diddy and it's crazy to me.
134
00:07:09.290 --> 00:07:10.740
And I know it's probably crazy to you, but there
135
00:07:10.769 --> 00:07:12.949
may be people that are watching this right now that
136
00:07:13.000 --> 00:07:16.100
have no fucking idea who Diddy is. At the time,
137
00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:19.160
Daddy Gang, if you're listening, he was the executive producer
138
00:07:19.240 --> 00:07:22.399
of the show. And he, on top of that, was
139
00:07:22.439 --> 00:07:24.439
like one of the most influential people in Hollywood. He
140
00:07:24.480 --> 00:07:27.000
was a rapper. He was a mogul. He was so
141
00:07:27.060 --> 00:07:29.120
fucking powerful. And he happened to be the one that
142
00:07:29.160 --> 00:07:32.410
was running the band for you. What was your first
143
00:07:32.810 --> 00:07:37.579
impression of Diddy and how did your relationship evolve over
144
00:07:37.620 --> 00:07:38.839
time while you were in the band?
145
00:07:39.860 --> 00:07:44.240
My first impression was he stole the oxygen out of
146
00:07:44.279 --> 00:07:47.439
the room. I've only met three men in my life
147
00:07:47.500 --> 00:07:52.079
that stole the oxygen out of the room. Diddy, Trump,
148
00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:58.389
Hugh Hefner. Everyone else is noticeable, but not in the
149
00:07:58.430 --> 00:08:01.879
way they are. I mean, literally the oxygen was out
150
00:08:01.939 --> 00:08:05.500
of the room. He just stole everybody's breath. He's very
151
00:08:05.620 --> 00:08:09.319
like powerful and intense. He didn't at that time say much.
152
00:08:10.019 --> 00:08:15.259
So you're always like hanging on every straw. How did
153
00:08:15.310 --> 00:08:18.490
it evolve? Obviously we had, I think, six seasons of
154
00:08:18.550 --> 00:08:20.550
making the band. So we were together with him for
155
00:08:20.589 --> 00:08:26.430
a long time. He taught me, not taught me, he
156
00:08:26.490 --> 00:08:31.050
forced me into a work ethic. that I respect to
157
00:08:31.089 --> 00:08:34.389
this day because I can do anything on no budget.
158
00:08:35.029 --> 00:08:37.070
If you put me in a pile of shit, I
159
00:08:37.090 --> 00:08:41.409
can turn that shit into a castle. I learned how
160
00:08:41.490 --> 00:08:44.830
to be a really street smart, to be a hustler.
161
00:08:46.409 --> 00:08:48.669
Do I think the method that he went about teaching
162
00:08:48.710 --> 00:08:53.100
us that was healthy? Absolutely not. And after six years,
163
00:08:53.360 --> 00:08:57.440
two double platinum selling albums, we were broke. I didn't
164
00:08:57.480 --> 00:09:00.500
have a dime to my name. And so for, I mean,
165
00:09:00.620 --> 00:09:02.759
like we had six seasons on making the band. I
166
00:09:02.779 --> 00:09:06.399
think we made like $ 4, 000 at the most. You're talking
167
00:09:06.460 --> 00:09:09.399
about a show that, that had the same numbers as
168
00:09:09.450 --> 00:09:12.649
a Jersey Shore or a Hills or a whatever. And
169
00:09:12.830 --> 00:09:15.549
we weren't making anything. We were like, and we didn't
170
00:09:15.590 --> 00:09:16.990
even know that we could, we didn't know that we
171
00:09:17.009 --> 00:09:19.399
could negotiate our contracts. We didn't know that we could
172
00:09:19.769 --> 00:09:22.409
say we're not coming back until you pay us correctly, nothing.
173
00:09:22.789 --> 00:09:26.009
When you talk about Diddy, it's interesting too, because I
174
00:09:26.110 --> 00:09:30.169
remember watching the show and I remember that he does
175
00:09:30.250 --> 00:09:33.289
come off so powerful. Obviously he is so powerful, but
176
00:09:33.460 --> 00:09:37.519
you guys would argue. Like you were the one person
177
00:09:37.539 --> 00:09:40.399
I felt like in the band that had some ability
178
00:09:40.519 --> 00:09:43.419
to go at him. What do you remember arguing about
179
00:09:43.460 --> 00:09:44.559
with Diddy? What would you guys be?
180
00:09:44.639 --> 00:09:45.159
Everything.
181
00:09:45.240 --> 00:09:45.659
Everything.
182
00:09:46.620 --> 00:09:49.909
Everything. But kind of how it worked was, I'm obviously
183
00:09:49.970 --> 00:09:52.580
like the most vocal and fearless, probably out of the
184
00:09:52.620 --> 00:09:55.539
girls in those two categories. So it was natural for me,
185
00:09:55.679 --> 00:09:58.450
but also I didn't grow up idolizing him. So I
186
00:09:58.669 --> 00:10:01.730
spoke to him like, uh, business partner and I'm vocal
187
00:10:01.769 --> 00:10:03.909
when I don't think business is being handled correctly. So
188
00:10:03.929 --> 00:10:06.480
I was vocal. Another reason I was vocal is because
189
00:10:07.029 --> 00:10:11.679
I learned quickly being in a, um, multi, uh, multiracial
190
00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:14.600
group that like the black women, when they would come
191
00:10:14.659 --> 00:10:17.580
forward and speak about something that they weren't satisfied with,
192
00:10:18.029 --> 00:10:20.929
it was they were angry black women. Whereas if I
193
00:10:20.990 --> 00:10:22.429
did it, it was so cute that the little white
194
00:10:22.470 --> 00:10:24.990
girl was trying to have a little comment to us.
195
00:10:25.590 --> 00:10:28.289
So it was received differently. So we started to kind
196
00:10:28.360 --> 00:10:32.179
of learn how to protect each other. And so like
197
00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:34.100
I would speak up for things that the group wanted
198
00:10:34.159 --> 00:10:37.320
because it was like acceptable when I did it. And
199
00:10:37.340 --> 00:10:39.299
then when we'd be in the studio, the white girls
200
00:10:39.340 --> 00:10:41.679
were not being put on tracks ever. They weren't even
201
00:10:41.750 --> 00:10:43.870
being auditioned for the track. We were just sit there.
202
00:10:44.850 --> 00:10:46.769
So I started to come forward and I said, hey,
203
00:10:46.850 --> 00:10:49.350
I'll go to Diddy every time and take that bullet
204
00:10:49.690 --> 00:10:51.620
if you guys say to them, hey, Aubrey can sing
205
00:10:51.629 --> 00:10:54.799
this part dope because you know I can. So they
206
00:10:54.820 --> 00:10:57.200
would protect me in the studio with producers. Literally, they
207
00:10:57.220 --> 00:10:59.200
would get out of the booth and be like, Aubrey's
208
00:10:59.220 --> 00:11:01.029
going to take this now. and not even give them
209
00:11:01.049 --> 00:11:02.490
a chance to have a say.
210
00:11:02.830 --> 00:11:08.669
Watching young women navigate the music industry with a mogul
211
00:11:08.700 --> 00:11:11.539
that's running all of it, it was fascinating to see
212
00:11:11.779 --> 00:11:14.679
the dynamic. And if you go back and you watch
213
00:11:14.720 --> 00:11:18.899
some of the clips from the show, the way the women,
214
00:11:18.919 --> 00:11:23.700
aka you and your bandmates, were objectified would never happen
215
00:11:23.879 --> 00:11:27.450
today on television. Can we talk about that?
216
00:11:27.470 --> 00:11:27.659
Sure.
217
00:11:28.049 --> 00:11:31.330
Because I remember a scene where they're talking about your
218
00:11:31.370 --> 00:11:34.190
body and you're too big here or you're too this
219
00:11:34.250 --> 00:11:37.919
or you're too slutty. What do you remember about the objectification?
220
00:11:37.940 --> 00:11:39.600
Oh, God.
221
00:11:39.620 --> 00:11:42.860
I think to this day, all of my band members
222
00:11:42.940 --> 00:11:45.929
are extremely affected by it, whether they understand what they're
223
00:11:45.950 --> 00:11:48.860
affected by or not. We were put in these boxes
224
00:11:48.940 --> 00:11:53.490
and everybody had a label. And as women, I think
225
00:11:53.509 --> 00:11:55.730
that's one of the most frustrating things that we face
226
00:11:55.909 --> 00:11:58.490
because we don't know women that I know. Women are
227
00:11:58.529 --> 00:12:01.750
so unique and beautifully drawn. Like no one woman is
228
00:12:01.870 --> 00:12:04.429
any one thing. But there was just such a desire
229
00:12:04.490 --> 00:12:06.750
to put women in boxes. You're the pretty one. You're
230
00:12:06.769 --> 00:12:08.429
the this one. You're the talented one. You're the this.
231
00:12:08.750 --> 00:12:12.110
So like everybody had always felt so much pressure. So
232
00:12:12.149 --> 00:12:14.460
the girls that weren't considered the pretty ones ended up
233
00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:16.720
getting tons of plastic surgery and changing their whole look.
234
00:12:17.120 --> 00:12:19.700
The girls that were considered the pretty ones never really
235
00:12:19.740 --> 00:12:21.720
felt like worthy and talented to be in a room.
236
00:12:21.759 --> 00:12:24.120
And it took project after project for me to feel
237
00:12:24.139 --> 00:12:26.539
like I could say, I'm a singer. I'm a real singer.
238
00:12:26.639 --> 00:12:29.269
I produce. I write. I do every, I can, I
239
00:12:29.549 --> 00:12:31.529
shoot all of our videos. I mean, I went like
240
00:12:31.789 --> 00:12:33.970
overboard with dumb blonde just because I was like, I
241
00:12:33.990 --> 00:12:36.490
needed to get everything out and prove to people like
242
00:12:36.590 --> 00:12:37.549
what my worth was.
243
00:12:37.570 --> 00:12:37.970
Right.
244
00:12:38.850 --> 00:12:41.789
But as far as looks go, a lot of body shaming.
245
00:12:41.830 --> 00:12:44.149
I mean, everybody in my group was tiny. I was
246
00:12:44.149 --> 00:12:46.190
100 pounds when I first did Making the Band. I
247
00:12:46.230 --> 00:12:48.269
had no boobs, nothing. I was always a late. My
248
00:12:48.309 --> 00:12:49.850
mom was a late bloomer. I was always going to
249
00:12:49.889 --> 00:12:52.629
be a late bloomer. But then when my body started
250
00:12:52.690 --> 00:12:54.990
to change in front of the world, I mean, people
251
00:12:55.049 --> 00:12:57.870
still take photos of me at 17 and then photos now.
252
00:12:57.909 --> 00:12:59.470
And they're like, God, look at what happened to her.
253
00:12:59.490 --> 00:13:01.769
And I'm like, you guys can't take a photo at
254
00:13:01.769 --> 00:13:05.059
17 and put it next to a 38-year-old photo. There's
255
00:13:05.220 --> 00:13:07.740
obviously going to have been a all kinds of changes
256
00:13:07.779 --> 00:13:08.759
in that period of time.
257
00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:12.350
What happened to Danity Kane? Why did the band break up?
258
00:13:13.220 --> 00:13:17.700
Diddy fired me on the sixth, I think it was
259
00:13:17.720 --> 00:13:20.370
the sixth season. At the very end, he fired me.
260
00:13:20.539 --> 00:13:20.850
Why?
261
00:13:23.169 --> 00:13:24.809
Not for the reasons he said on TV.
262
00:13:25.750 --> 00:13:26.990
What did he say on TV?
263
00:13:27.429 --> 00:13:29.750
On TV, it was like, to sum it up quickly,
264
00:13:29.830 --> 00:13:32.850
was like, you're Wiling out. I was hanging out with
265
00:13:32.870 --> 00:13:36.649
Kim Kardashian. We were best friends. He thought I was, like,
266
00:13:37.370 --> 00:13:39.549
he basically, like, told me I was going in a
267
00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:42.320
ho direction and I needed to, like, cut ties with everybody.
268
00:13:42.860 --> 00:13:46.679
So that was the public-facing commentary as to why.
269
00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:50.259
Wild, ho, rebellious, you'll never work again was kind of, like,
270
00:13:50.299 --> 00:13:55.009
the last few interpretations of me. What the truth was
271
00:13:55.210 --> 00:13:59.409
is probably what you can imagine. I don't know legally
272
00:13:59.450 --> 00:14:05.179
what I can say or can't. It's everything you could
273
00:14:05.220 --> 00:14:08.159
imagine why somebody would want to fire somebody.
274
00:14:08.179 --> 00:14:15.429
Can you give us a little more?
275
00:14:15.450 --> 00:14:21.809
I wasn't willing to do what was expected of me.
276
00:14:23.210 --> 00:14:25.629
Not talent-wise, but in other areas.
277
00:14:27.860 --> 00:14:29.100
And were other girls doing?
278
00:14:29.460 --> 00:14:30.840
I was the only one that was in those types
279
00:14:30.879 --> 00:14:34.509
of positions. Wow.
280
00:14:36.909 --> 00:14:39.549
When you look back on that, how does that make
281
00:14:39.570 --> 00:14:39.990
you feel?
282
00:14:45.590 --> 00:14:47.309
You know, I have such a love hate with it
283
00:14:47.389 --> 00:14:49.750
all because I don't think I would have been able
284
00:14:49.809 --> 00:14:52.389
to be so successful in so many other areas had
285
00:14:52.429 --> 00:14:55.830
I not been trained under Diddy. He was the hardest
286
00:14:55.870 --> 00:14:58.860
person that you can work for and it was torture
287
00:14:59.700 --> 00:15:02.399
and not the work part of it, but the other stuff.
288
00:15:03.139 --> 00:15:07.480
Mind games, like just all the girls were so divided
289
00:15:07.580 --> 00:15:10.000
and the men and the people running it had their
290
00:15:10.019 --> 00:15:13.970
hands in it, moving everything. There was a lot of betrayal.
291
00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:16.029
There was a lot of lies. There was a lot of,
292
00:15:17.389 --> 00:15:20.029
you know, when you're young and impressionable and you're just,
293
00:15:20.129 --> 00:15:22.529
we understand our beauty as women through the eyes of
294
00:15:22.570 --> 00:15:26.549
the people observing us. Well, who's observing us? Men. So
295
00:15:26.590 --> 00:15:30.710
we learn our beauty through a man's eye, which is
296
00:15:31.009 --> 00:15:35.120
very subjective, right? So it's difficult when you're that young
297
00:15:35.179 --> 00:15:37.470
to understand your worth as a woman through the men
298
00:15:37.509 --> 00:15:40.509
that I was around. And that was very traumatic. I
299
00:15:40.549 --> 00:15:42.610
don't think any of us have healed from that. Diddy
300
00:15:42.629 --> 00:15:44.830
would be like, you're not hot anymore. Like what happened?
301
00:15:44.850 --> 00:15:46.950
You don't have anything. Like you don't have any curves.
302
00:15:47.309 --> 00:15:49.850
You're looking like just, you're not looking like, I can't
303
00:15:49.889 --> 00:15:53.149
get people to think that you're my good looking person.
304
00:15:53.409 --> 00:15:55.179
And there was no me too at that time. There
305
00:15:55.220 --> 00:15:57.940
was no protecting anyone at that time. You signed a
306
00:15:57.960 --> 00:16:00.620
million NDAs and a million contracts that took away all
307
00:16:00.659 --> 00:16:04.320
your rights. So- You really were operating in an environment
308
00:16:04.340 --> 00:16:06.100
that you had no control in.
309
00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:07.750
When was the last time you spoke to him?
310
00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:15.490
I had seen him a few times after, but I've
311
00:16:15.529 --> 00:16:19.259
never really sat down and had a conversation with him.
312
00:16:19.350 --> 00:16:21.029
What do you think you would say to him if
313
00:16:21.090 --> 00:16:22.509
you did get that opportunity?
314
00:16:24.860 --> 00:16:28.230
You know, I... I battle with this because there are
315
00:16:28.250 --> 00:16:31.340
parts of me that are just like, you have so much.
316
00:16:31.379 --> 00:16:35.220
You couldn't have just paid us properly. We wrote songs
317
00:16:35.279 --> 00:16:37.919
on both albums. You couldn't have just given us our publishing.
318
00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:40.820
You couldn't have just been fair to us a little bit.
319
00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:43.429
There's something really wrong that we were there for as
320
00:16:43.450 --> 00:16:45.309
long as we were and we had no money, that
321
00:16:45.330 --> 00:16:47.850
we couldn't buy a home. We were on tour for
322
00:16:47.929 --> 00:16:51.029
years at a time. We would leave tours in debt
323
00:16:51.070 --> 00:16:54.600
to the label. because they were recouping things, but we
324
00:16:54.639 --> 00:16:56.480
never saw what was being recouped, and by the time
325
00:16:56.519 --> 00:16:59.340
we went to go after it, Bad Boy was bankrupt.
326
00:17:00.460 --> 00:17:02.639
What do you feel on a personal level towards him
327
00:17:02.659 --> 00:17:05.089
and how he handled being in a position of power
328
00:17:05.150 --> 00:17:06.529
and the dynamic between the two of you?
329
00:17:07.009 --> 00:17:09.930
Well, I think it's him and a lot of other factors.
330
00:17:10.009 --> 00:17:14.529
They decided how I was going to be viewed. That's
331
00:17:14.769 --> 00:17:19.099
the production company, that's the network, and that's Diddy. So
332
00:17:19.660 --> 00:17:23.420
once you're presented to the world in a certain way,
333
00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:27.440
I had to spend many years like in all kinds
334
00:17:27.509 --> 00:17:31.309
of twisted webs trying to like, you know, I got
335
00:17:31.349 --> 00:17:33.769
that like sexy girl card. So then I was getting
336
00:17:33.869 --> 00:17:36.910
Playboy offers. The crazy thing is, is I'm a huge nerd.
337
00:17:37.410 --> 00:17:40.529
I never was sexy. I never was cool. I didn't
338
00:17:40.569 --> 00:17:43.450
have sex until my like junior or senior year of college.
339
00:17:44.220 --> 00:17:47.440
I wasn't like sexual. I wasn't anything. I just loved
340
00:17:47.500 --> 00:17:50.869
working and I loved being on stage. So like all
341
00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:53.490
of a sudden to play that role was like weird.
342
00:17:53.950 --> 00:17:56.470
And I took it on and owned it as mine
343
00:17:56.509 --> 00:17:58.970
because that's where my opportunity, the direction of opportunities I
344
00:17:59.089 --> 00:18:04.150
was getting at that time. And that has likely set
345
00:18:04.269 --> 00:18:08.059
a course for me in life. that is very specific
346
00:18:08.130 --> 00:18:10.119
and not necessarily authentic to me.
347
00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:14.140
Did your bandmates have any idea of the real reason
348
00:18:14.180 --> 00:18:15.240
that you left?
349
00:18:19.259 --> 00:18:22.769
Some of the bandmates saw everything that was happening behind
350
00:18:22.809 --> 00:18:26.490
the scenes. Some of the bandmates were a part of it.
351
00:18:26.589 --> 00:18:30.170
We were very, very disconnected by the end. The hand
352
00:18:30.210 --> 00:18:33.039
had gone in. It had stirred the pot. Everybody was
353
00:18:33.099 --> 00:18:36.480
protecting their landing zone. And then there were some that
354
00:18:36.519 --> 00:18:38.299
just had no idea that all that was happening, that
355
00:18:38.339 --> 00:18:41.359
just got, like, blindsided and then ran away and disappeared
356
00:18:41.380 --> 00:18:45.420
because they didn't like it. So, like, did everybody know?
357
00:18:45.559 --> 00:18:47.740
I think now in life we are all very aware
358
00:18:47.789 --> 00:18:50.490
of the things that we went through. We each went
359
00:18:50.509 --> 00:18:55.490
through different levels of it. But I would say then,
360
00:18:55.509 --> 00:19:00.529
I don't know. Then was everybody was in some type
361
00:19:00.549 --> 00:19:01.910
of competition with each other.
362
00:19:02.309 --> 00:19:07.619
So when you left Anity Cane, Where were you mentally
363
00:19:07.900 --> 00:19:10.089
during this time of your life?
364
00:19:10.549 --> 00:19:14.549
So when he fired me, I just stood up. I
365
00:19:14.589 --> 00:19:17.150
said bye. And I looked at the producers and they
366
00:19:17.190 --> 00:19:21.349
were like, everyone was just standing there like in shock.
367
00:19:21.390 --> 00:19:24.309
The producer like dropped his fucking clipboard. Everyone was just like,
368
00:19:24.390 --> 00:19:27.299
what the fuck? No one knew that was happening. So
369
00:19:28.019 --> 00:19:30.259
they like let me leave with my microphone on. They
370
00:19:30.279 --> 00:19:32.900
didn't even take it off. Like nobody knew. And I
371
00:19:32.920 --> 00:19:35.069
just walked out. I got in a cab. I was
372
00:19:35.130 --> 00:19:38.380
being honored during fashion week in one of the most
373
00:19:38.420 --> 00:19:41.319
fashionable whatever. And I was sitting in the car with
374
00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:44.339
my assistant and I was like, I'm really scared. And
375
00:19:44.380 --> 00:19:46.430
she was like, I am too, but this needed to
376
00:19:46.470 --> 00:19:49.069
happen and now you're really going to have to fight.
377
00:19:49.630 --> 00:19:53.779
And for the next like six years, I don't even
378
00:19:53.839 --> 00:19:55.990
know what I was doing except my head was down
379
00:19:56.029 --> 00:19:58.369
and I was fighting for every inch. I had to
380
00:19:58.410 --> 00:20:02.970
take opportunities that I don't necessarily love. I had to
381
00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:06.920
play into ideas and concepts about me because at that
382
00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:09.119
time I wasn't going to say, this is exactly what
383
00:20:09.160 --> 00:20:11.599
happened and this is this and that's that. I don't
384
00:20:11.640 --> 00:20:14.339
think I had that voice developed yet and I was
385
00:20:14.380 --> 00:20:17.680
just scared. So I just knocked on every door. I
386
00:20:17.720 --> 00:20:20.099
stood in front of every person and I just kept
387
00:20:20.119 --> 00:20:25.019
building opportunity after opportunity. But yeah, it was definitely like,
388
00:20:26.000 --> 00:20:28.880
I don't even remember the trauma. I've had so much
389
00:20:28.920 --> 00:20:33.470
trauma since then. But It was my first big heartbreak.
390
00:20:33.950 --> 00:20:37.410
I know you've been open about parts of your relationship
391
00:20:37.470 --> 00:20:41.299
and the struggle with your mom. Can you explain with
392
00:20:41.339 --> 00:20:44.819
how you're comfortable, like what the abusive dynamic was?
393
00:20:44.839 --> 00:20:49.420
I think my mother had me. This is just my opinion.
394
00:20:49.460 --> 00:20:52.359
I think my mother had me because she felt like
395
00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:56.019
she was incomplete and missing something in life. I think
396
00:20:56.079 --> 00:20:57.900
I was that thing that was supposed to make her
397
00:20:57.940 --> 00:21:01.200
life content and full. you should never have a child
398
00:21:01.259 --> 00:21:04.960
if that's the mentality that you're in. Um, so when
399
00:21:05.019 --> 00:21:09.480
I wasn't fulfilling her life, I was punished and I
400
00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:14.950
was a nuisance and I was abused. So, um, you know,
401
00:21:14.970 --> 00:21:16.589
there are all kinds of things I can remember. I
402
00:21:16.630 --> 00:21:20.930
can tie it back into situations and relationships later on
403
00:21:20.990 --> 00:21:25.089
in life, but there was always this abandonment factor and
404
00:21:25.170 --> 00:21:29.730
there was, um, I was pretending all the time. I
405
00:21:29.769 --> 00:21:32.930
was going to school with wealthy kids that were super
406
00:21:32.950 --> 00:21:36.650
put together and had great parents and nannies and whatever
407
00:21:36.670 --> 00:21:39.410
the fuck else. And when I watched my mom get
408
00:21:39.470 --> 00:21:41.609
beat by my stepdad, and then all of a sudden
409
00:21:41.630 --> 00:21:43.359
we were living in a car, then we were getting
410
00:21:43.410 --> 00:21:45.200
food stamps, then we were living in the back of
411
00:21:45.319 --> 00:21:48.220
a mechanic's shop, and I could hear my mom hooking
412
00:21:48.259 --> 00:21:51.940
up with the guy. I went through these really wealthy times,
413
00:21:52.019 --> 00:21:55.809
really low times, But at school, I needed everybody to
414
00:21:55.849 --> 00:21:57.950
see me a certain way, which is also something that
415
00:21:57.990 --> 00:21:59.990
prepared me for who I became in the industry. It
416
00:22:00.279 --> 00:22:03.319
was very easy for me to put on that aspirational role.
417
00:22:03.339 --> 00:22:08.859
And that's kind of where I learned it, I would say,
418
00:22:08.920 --> 00:22:10.799
because I never let anyone know I was being beaten
419
00:22:10.859 --> 00:22:14.119
up at school. I never let anyone know any of
420
00:22:14.180 --> 00:22:16.579
the chaos that was happening. It did come out here
421
00:22:16.619 --> 00:22:19.599
and there when certain things... I developed OCD sometimes. And
422
00:22:19.799 --> 00:22:21.859
I would spend my nights, like my mom would pass
423
00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:23.779
out drunk in the shower, and I'd spend my nights
424
00:22:23.819 --> 00:22:26.190
like laying down next to her. I'd figure out how
425
00:22:26.230 --> 00:22:29.170
to pick her lock with a bobby pin. And I'd
426
00:22:29.210 --> 00:22:31.329
go and lay down and take off my clothes and
427
00:22:31.349 --> 00:22:33.150
lay down in the shower and put my finger under
428
00:22:33.210 --> 00:22:35.569
her nose so I could make sure I felt breath.
429
00:22:36.089 --> 00:22:37.670
And I would just sit there like this under her
430
00:22:37.710 --> 00:22:40.849
nose all night until she'd wake up, you know, from
431
00:22:40.910 --> 00:22:42.839
being drunk and hit me and tell me to get
432
00:22:42.859 --> 00:22:45.619
the fuck out. And then I was like, thank God
433
00:22:45.660 --> 00:22:46.359
my mom's alive.
434
00:22:47.509 --> 00:22:50.329
There are so many themes, like you said, of putting
435
00:22:50.410 --> 00:22:53.509
on a brave face, making everything look like it was,
436
00:22:53.869 --> 00:22:58.039
everything's fine, but also getting used to the survival mentality
437
00:22:58.140 --> 00:23:00.279
and the role of just having to like take care
438
00:23:00.319 --> 00:23:03.160
of yourself, but also trying to like please everyone around
439
00:23:03.180 --> 00:23:04.440
you and make sure everything is okay.
440
00:23:04.680 --> 00:23:06.059
And at the end of the day, there's one other
441
00:23:06.099 --> 00:23:11.380
element too, is wanting my abuser to like me, to
442
00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:13.809
love me. Cause it started with my mom and I
443
00:23:13.890 --> 00:23:16.329
really did want my mom to love me. I probably
444
00:23:16.369 --> 00:23:18.650
will always feel that way until I'm dead.
445
00:23:21.019 --> 00:23:26.140
Let's talk about some of the romantic relationships because it is. Yeah,
446
00:23:26.220 --> 00:23:28.119
it is. And I appreciate you sharing and being so
447
00:23:28.220 --> 00:23:31.170
open Aubrey, because it is interesting to hear like it, it, it,
448
00:23:32.740 --> 00:23:34.680
all of our lives are all connected, right? To what
449
00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:36.660
happened to us in childhood. And then for you to
450
00:23:36.700 --> 00:23:39.339
have a dynamic with Diddy of someone that is abusing
451
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:40.990
their power and you want them to love you and
452
00:23:41.029 --> 00:23:42.509
you want to do everything you can to make sure
453
00:23:42.529 --> 00:23:45.549
they love you. And then now getting into the romantic
454
00:23:45.589 --> 00:23:51.009
side of things. So before Donald Trump was the president
455
00:23:51.170 --> 00:23:53.740
of the United States, he was the host of a
456
00:23:53.819 --> 00:23:59.220
reality show, Celebrity Apprentice. And you were a contestant on
457
00:23:59.240 --> 00:24:03.849
the show. You then started dating Donald Trump's son, Donald
458
00:24:03.869 --> 00:24:07.829
Trump Jr. And he was married at the time that
459
00:24:07.849 --> 00:24:11.529
you were dating him. So it was an affair. How
460
00:24:11.569 --> 00:24:13.069
did that relationship begin?
461
00:24:13.089 --> 00:24:17.299
I think he probably fell in love with me during
462
00:24:17.359 --> 00:24:22.559
the show. Probably both of us. I was the last
463
00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:25.259
woman standing on the show. I was the youngest contestant
464
00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:29.420
ever at that time. And I probably ever. And I
465
00:24:29.759 --> 00:24:33.740
was impressive. in a way that people weren't expecting. So
466
00:24:35.099 --> 00:24:38.180
I think he enjoyed that. He's a sapiosexual. He loves
467
00:24:38.440 --> 00:24:42.640
smart people. So I think that's kind of how we
468
00:24:42.660 --> 00:24:45.549
both learned each other in this like very intense environment
469
00:24:45.589 --> 00:24:48.369
where your mind was constantly on the chopping block, which
470
00:24:48.549 --> 00:24:51.809
I absolutely loved. Cause I would rather have my mind
471
00:24:51.849 --> 00:24:53.450
on the chopping block than anything else.
472
00:24:53.910 --> 00:24:55.769
So he was on the show at the same time
473
00:24:55.829 --> 00:24:56.269
as you?
474
00:24:56.289 --> 00:24:56.490
Yeah.
475
00:24:56.950 --> 00:24:58.880
Got it. Okay. So you guys started to fall in
476
00:24:58.920 --> 00:25:02.509
love while you're on this show. You have said, and
477
00:25:02.549 --> 00:25:07.150
you said today, that Donald Trump Jr. is your soulmate.
478
00:25:08.289 --> 00:25:10.089
What was your relationship like?
479
00:25:13.150 --> 00:25:21.160
Happy, funny, interesting. We both have similarities in childhood with
480
00:25:21.960 --> 00:25:25.579
the relationships we had with our parents. So we kind
481
00:25:25.619 --> 00:25:29.240
of were able to, those little vulnerable pieces of us,
482
00:25:29.299 --> 00:25:33.329
those little holes, were able to connect and protect each other.
483
00:25:33.349 --> 00:25:40.059
I think that he was able to be who he
484
00:25:40.099 --> 00:25:43.299
really is with me. And I think that his life
485
00:25:43.339 --> 00:25:46.160
in the other area required him to be something he wasn't.
486
00:25:48.839 --> 00:25:52.619
And for me, in that situation, like I said, at
487
00:25:52.660 --> 00:25:55.440
that time, I understood the marriage to be a certain
488
00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:59.359
thing that didn't stand a chance next to what we had.
489
00:26:00.369 --> 00:26:03.109
So I never was threatened by it. And I never
490
00:26:03.269 --> 00:26:07.230
felt guilty or I didn't hold myself to any accountability
491
00:26:07.259 --> 00:26:10.980
until I saw my best friend give birth. I saw
492
00:26:12.220 --> 00:26:14.579
what a woman's body goes through. When I saw that,
493
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:17.279
I felt to myself a little bit accountability for Vanessa
494
00:26:17.319 --> 00:26:26.750
and I felt shame. And like I needed to really
495
00:26:27.549 --> 00:26:32.670
rethink the narrative that I had been using in regards
496
00:26:32.710 --> 00:26:33.650
to that relationship.
497
00:26:34.130 --> 00:26:38.089
Was there an explanation essentially to you from Donald Trump Jr.
498
00:26:38.130 --> 00:26:41.509
to be like, we can do this because like, is
499
00:26:41.529 --> 00:26:43.190
that what you're saying? It was kind of like, because
500
00:26:43.210 --> 00:26:44.990
this marriage is actually really more of just like a
501
00:26:45.029 --> 00:26:48.019
business transaction. And so I have room in my life
502
00:26:48.059 --> 00:26:51.180
for an actual real romantic situation. Is that what you're saying?
503
00:26:51.599 --> 00:26:53.920
And I, and I told my family and friends and
504
00:26:54.039 --> 00:26:57.529
they would think you're, they would think the usual thoughts
505
00:26:57.569 --> 00:26:59.950
you're being lied to and in the situation. So I
506
00:26:59.950 --> 00:27:01.710
would go back and tell him and then he'd be like, okay,
507
00:27:01.730 --> 00:27:03.069
well then let me sit in front of your parents.
508
00:27:03.109 --> 00:27:05.089
Let me sit in front of your friends and, or
509
00:27:05.109 --> 00:27:06.170
let me talk to them. And he did.
510
00:27:06.190 --> 00:27:07.670
And what would he say?
511
00:27:08.190 --> 00:27:10.089
That he loved me, that he wanted to be with me,
512
00:27:10.130 --> 00:27:16.430
that he was making plans to do that, that he
513
00:27:16.450 --> 00:27:18.900
would explain to them, like he didn't really talk in
514
00:27:18.940 --> 00:27:21.880
depth about his marriage, probably to protect his family, I'm sure.
515
00:27:21.980 --> 00:27:25.319
But He would basically get them to a place where
516
00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:28.640
they understood that marriage in our eyes is much different
517
00:27:28.660 --> 00:27:31.759
than marriage at that level. It's a whole different set
518
00:27:31.799 --> 00:27:32.160
of rules.
519
00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:33.480
Like it's an agreement.
520
00:27:33.559 --> 00:27:36.240
It's a contract. It's a contract.
521
00:27:36.440 --> 00:27:38.750
Would he talk about his wife to you?
522
00:27:39.309 --> 00:27:41.549
Yes.
523
00:27:42.490 --> 00:27:44.809
How did that make you feel in those conversations?
524
00:27:46.049 --> 00:27:46.130
He.
525
00:27:48.740 --> 00:27:50.619
Anything that he ever said about his wife made me
526
00:27:50.660 --> 00:27:52.589
feel very comfortable in our relationship.
527
00:27:53.250 --> 00:27:54.630
Did she ever reach out to you?
528
00:27:54.650 --> 00:27:54.990
Yeah.
529
00:27:55.789 --> 00:27:57.069
How did that conversation go?
530
00:27:57.230 --> 00:28:01.029
It wasn't nice. I got to see a whole other
531
00:28:01.069 --> 00:28:01.680
side of her.
532
00:28:02.849 --> 00:28:06.150
Was it because she found out? Or do you think
533
00:28:06.170 --> 00:28:06.680
she always knew?
534
00:28:06.700 --> 00:28:14.400
I don't know because I'm not her. But I believe the...
535
00:28:15.130 --> 00:28:18.009
the type of anger that was being displayed was potentially
536
00:28:18.069 --> 00:28:20.410
likely because she had found out something.
537
00:28:21.210 --> 00:28:23.710
Cause I'm thinking like if he was meeting up with
538
00:28:23.750 --> 00:28:27.180
your parents and stuff, like how, yeah. Like how are
539
00:28:27.200 --> 00:28:30.519
your friends? Like how open was this relationship?
540
00:28:30.660 --> 00:28:33.519
So in the very beginning, I basically just told him like, um,
541
00:28:33.880 --> 00:28:35.259
if we're going to do this and I'm going to
542
00:28:35.279 --> 00:28:37.460
be comfortable in this type of setting, I'm never going
543
00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:40.329
to be hidden, brought up to your room by a
544
00:28:40.390 --> 00:28:44.690
fucking security guard or, having to like hide and maneuver.
545
00:28:44.750 --> 00:28:47.190
Like we have to be open and together. And we
546
00:28:47.230 --> 00:28:51.490
would literally be walking down Melrose holding hands and he
547
00:28:51.529 --> 00:28:54.450
wasn't the president's son and I wasn't famous enough to
548
00:28:54.490 --> 00:28:58.690
have paparazzi chasing me. And we would just live very normally.
549
00:28:59.990 --> 00:29:06.019
What emotions come with being the other woman and having
550
00:29:06.079 --> 00:29:09.640
an affair? Like what were you mentally feeling during that
551
00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:10.359
time of your life?
552
00:29:12.750 --> 00:29:16.170
I was so in love and so happy that I
553
00:29:16.230 --> 00:29:19.559
don't know that I ever focused too much on this
554
00:29:19.670 --> 00:29:22.279
other woman idea because I didn't feel like I was.
555
00:29:22.660 --> 00:29:23.519
Why did it end?
556
00:29:23.819 --> 00:29:26.440
They basically gave him a choice of staying with me
557
00:29:26.619 --> 00:29:27.759
or staying with the family.
558
00:29:30.140 --> 00:29:31.589
And did he articulate that to you?
559
00:29:32.549 --> 00:29:35.809
Potentially. Our last conversation, I had taped it, so I
560
00:29:35.849 --> 00:29:38.630
listened to it back with my therapist. I haven't listened
561
00:29:38.670 --> 00:29:40.299
to it in a long time, but I'm was a
562
00:29:40.339 --> 00:29:42.980
lot of explaining of things then. And then Michael kind
563
00:29:43.019 --> 00:29:45.059
of explained to me what was happening on that back end.
564
00:29:45.640 --> 00:29:46.920
And this guy, Michael.
565
00:29:47.140 --> 00:29:47.319
Yeah.
566
00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:48.740
Can you explain who he is?
567
00:29:49.089 --> 00:29:52.329
So Michael Cohen was like a very trusted attorney on
568
00:29:52.349 --> 00:29:55.910
the inside that would, you know, they would depend on
569
00:29:55.970 --> 00:29:57.190
to clean up messes for them.
570
00:29:57.569 --> 00:29:59.089
And he was the Trump family attorney.
571
00:29:59.960 --> 00:30:03.319
I believe so. I don't know what the technical realities
572
00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:05.619
of that were. But, you know, he kind of doesn't
573
00:30:05.640 --> 00:30:08.190
want to be seen as this Ray Donovan fixer type guy.
574
00:30:08.250 --> 00:30:11.170
And he knows that I didn't experience him like that,
575
00:30:11.210 --> 00:30:15.009
but he was fixing something at that time. So it
576
00:30:15.029 --> 00:30:16.990
was interesting to get his perspective. But he was like,
577
00:30:17.029 --> 00:30:19.279
you always worked with me and you always did anything
578
00:30:19.299 --> 00:30:20.880
I asked you to keep it out of the press.
579
00:30:21.220 --> 00:30:21.579
Right.
580
00:30:22.099 --> 00:30:24.140
And to protect the family and to protect a man
581
00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:26.519
that you loved. And Don was not strong enough. He
582
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:29.690
wouldn't have he didn't want to leave you. And I
583
00:30:29.789 --> 00:30:32.920
asked you to leave him and to go away. And
584
00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:35.160
you did. And I'm like thinking to myself, I did?
585
00:30:35.180 --> 00:30:39.019
The fuck? I don't know. I didn't remember that I
586
00:30:39.079 --> 00:30:41.539
did that. I didn't remember that I, I knew that
587
00:30:41.579 --> 00:30:43.720
we would keep it out of the press, but I
588
00:30:43.779 --> 00:30:48.380
didn't know that like I was part of stepping away
589
00:30:48.420 --> 00:30:50.359
from it also. I think I remember it as like
590
00:30:50.500 --> 00:30:54.440
abandonment and it was like overnight and there was nothing
591
00:30:54.509 --> 00:30:57.309
prior to that that ever would have told me like
592
00:30:57.390 --> 00:30:59.190
he was the one that was pushing he was the
593
00:30:59.250 --> 00:31:01.230
one that was calling me soulmate well before I even
594
00:31:01.269 --> 00:31:03.809
thought of him that way he was the one with
595
00:31:03.849 --> 00:31:06.089
the I love you's and the being together and having
596
00:31:06.130 --> 00:31:09.829
a baby and everything else like he was the one driving.
597
00:31:09.349 --> 00:31:13.869
That it's so interesting to hear you talking about this
598
00:31:13.890 --> 00:31:16.450
because it's literally like what you see on tv shows
599
00:31:16.750 --> 00:31:18.210
like I get what you're saying Ray Donovan if no
600
00:31:18.250 --> 00:31:19.789
one knows what that show is like he's a fixer
601
00:31:19.809 --> 00:31:22.430
to people in like Hollywood and politics And so to
602
00:31:22.470 --> 00:31:26.109
hear you talking about like one day you're having this affair,
603
00:31:26.150 --> 00:31:27.769
but it doesn't even feel like an affair because you're
604
00:31:27.789 --> 00:31:30.809
being told, yeah, the wife I have, it's more of
605
00:31:30.849 --> 00:31:33.630
a business arrangement. And like, it's not actually real love,
606
00:31:33.670 --> 00:31:36.829
but this is real love. So you're, you're infatuated, you're
607
00:31:36.849 --> 00:31:39.990
in love, you're happy. And then one day it just ends.
608
00:31:40.410 --> 00:31:42.150
And I don't know, cause I don't know if I'm
609
00:31:42.450 --> 00:31:44.369
reading this wrong and I'm, so I'm sure maybe other
610
00:31:44.390 --> 00:31:48.160
people can be confused. Like Donald Trump wasn't the president
611
00:31:48.180 --> 00:31:51.349
at the time. But when you ended your relationship, was
612
00:31:51.380 --> 00:31:53.710
it because he was currently about to be running?
613
00:31:54.390 --> 00:31:56.809
Those discussions were being had from what I understand.
614
00:31:56.829 --> 00:31:59.750
Okay. So it was kind of like everything needs to
615
00:31:59.809 --> 00:32:00.950
look good. We need to start.
616
00:32:01.049 --> 00:32:03.710
They had a good amount of, they had a period
617
00:32:03.730 --> 00:32:05.599
of time where they were cleaning up all the messes.
618
00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:08.980
And Michael was the man in charge of doing that.
619
00:32:09.619 --> 00:32:11.859
And in their eyes, you were one of the messes.
620
00:32:12.640 --> 00:32:13.980
To somebody there, yeah.
621
00:32:15.450 --> 00:32:17.289
How does that make you feel like being a part
622
00:32:17.329 --> 00:32:19.769
of like almost like the politics? I mean, then we
623
00:32:19.789 --> 00:32:21.650
went on to see it with Donald Trump, like all
624
00:32:21.690 --> 00:32:24.079
the things that have been hidden and with the women
625
00:32:24.190 --> 00:32:26.599
and you were in the middle of parts of that. Like,
626
00:32:26.619 --> 00:32:27.539
how does that make you feel?
627
00:32:27.559 --> 00:32:33.799
I feel sadness for who he became. I'm a liberal.
628
00:32:33.819 --> 00:32:37.569
I am a social justice warrior. I'm very outspoken when
629
00:32:37.609 --> 00:32:40.750
it comes to my feelings about protecting underdogs, giving people
630
00:32:40.789 --> 00:32:42.890
a voice that don't have as big of a platform
631
00:32:43.289 --> 00:32:45.130
and so on and so forth. I have a bleeding
632
00:32:45.210 --> 00:32:46.089
heart for people.
633
00:32:46.109 --> 00:32:46.990
I'm an empath.
634
00:32:47.049 --> 00:32:50.470
Like I have all these attributes. And if Don was
635
00:32:50.529 --> 00:32:53.190
who he is now, that wouldn't be something that he
636
00:32:53.359 --> 00:32:55.859
would likely be attracted to. And I wouldn't have been
637
00:32:55.900 --> 00:32:58.410
attracted to what I see now. So I try to
638
00:32:58.450 --> 00:33:01.769
tell people like, you believe that I am who I am, right?
639
00:33:01.809 --> 00:33:04.089
Like you believe that I am like steady in this.
640
00:33:04.490 --> 00:33:07.869
I am overspoken in life about the way that I
641
00:33:07.930 --> 00:33:09.930
feel about things to a point where it turns people
642
00:33:10.069 --> 00:33:13.109
off because I don't stay politically correct about anything. So
643
00:33:13.190 --> 00:33:15.019
you can imagine I've been that way since I was
644
00:33:15.059 --> 00:33:18.440
a child. So if he were the person he is now,
645
00:33:18.460 --> 00:33:20.900
I wouldn't have liked him and he wouldn't have liked me.
646
00:33:39.259 --> 00:33:39.619
Thank you.
647
00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:48.720
Good nights are about the people, the laughs, the real
648
00:33:48.759 --> 00:33:51.960
moments you don't want to miss. So why step outside?
649
00:33:52.839 --> 00:33:56.890
Velo tobacco-free nicotine pouches fits seamlessly into your night. Convenient
650
00:33:57.089 --> 00:34:01.309
and full of flavor. No breaks, no interruptions. Velo anytime,
651
00:34:01.430 --> 00:34:05.309
anywhere nicotine pouches. 18 and over contains tobacco-free nicotine and
652
00:34:05.349 --> 00:34:07.549
addictive substance. If you're new to Velo, start with Mellow.
653
00:34:07.609 --> 00:34:09.159
You should not use this product if you do not
654
00:34:09.260 --> 00:34:10.059
already use nicotine.
655
00:34:13.300 --> 00:34:15.860
Due to the leaves falling in autumn and the challenges
656
00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:19.159
this brings, Eireann Road Airan wishes to advise customers that
657
00:34:19.179 --> 00:34:22.199
a revised timetable will take effect on Dart and Dublin
658
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:27.179
commuter routes from Monday, September 21st until December 12th. Morning
659
00:34:27.219 --> 00:34:30.219
and evening peak services will be affected with some earlier
660
00:34:30.260 --> 00:34:33.300
departure times. Please check travel times on the Eireann Road
661
00:34:33.400 --> 00:34:37.489
Airan app or irishrail.ie. Eireann Road Airan is part of
662
00:34:37.510 --> 00:34:38.929
the Transport for Ireland network.
663
00:34:42.590 --> 00:34:44.449
So you're basically saying like it's a facade and a
664
00:34:44.489 --> 00:34:45.619
character that he has to play out.
665
00:34:45.769 --> 00:34:47.699
I don't know, but I think so. When I first
666
00:34:47.739 --> 00:34:50.679
started seeing it, I was so sad for him because
667
00:34:50.719 --> 00:34:55.199
I felt like he's sold out. And he was so
668
00:34:55.480 --> 00:34:59.199
interesting and I think could have been so successful breaking
669
00:34:59.239 --> 00:35:02.159
away from that family and just being him. He's gotten
670
00:35:02.199 --> 00:35:04.460
into a lane where he's such a joke. They kind
671
00:35:04.500 --> 00:35:08.079
of gave him the QAnon crowd as his fan base.
672
00:35:08.579 --> 00:35:13.130
And he's just playing into that nonsense so loudly. I,
673
00:35:13.469 --> 00:35:16.510
part of me sometimes thinks he believes it. He's very smart.
674
00:35:16.530 --> 00:35:19.130
He could likely talk himself into many places. There was
675
00:35:19.289 --> 00:35:21.789
one part of him that I probably could have doubted
676
00:35:21.809 --> 00:35:24.179
and nothing else but this one part. And the one
677
00:35:24.219 --> 00:35:32.559
part was his defensiveness and weakness and needing to please
678
00:35:32.599 --> 00:35:36.679
his father. He was just so weak in that area.
679
00:35:36.900 --> 00:35:40.199
And it was always like coming up in these discussions
680
00:35:40.280 --> 00:35:44.969
in a very defensive manner. So, and I didn't see
681
00:35:44.989 --> 00:35:47.050
him behaving that way with any other topics. So I
682
00:35:47.340 --> 00:35:48.860
don't know if it's for the love of daddy or
683
00:35:48.920 --> 00:35:51.940
because he wanted to have this like platform that he
684
00:35:51.980 --> 00:35:54.340
now has. He didn't do anything good with it though.
685
00:35:54.400 --> 00:35:55.880
So what's the point in having it?
686
00:35:56.619 --> 00:35:57.900
Did you meet his siblings?
687
00:35:58.300 --> 00:36:01.329
I met, obviously I met the whole family. I can
688
00:36:01.349 --> 00:36:10.639
only give you my opinion. Of I don't know how
689
00:36:10.679 --> 00:36:13.389
much they genuinely like each other. That could have changed
690
00:36:13.780 --> 00:36:18.190
by now, but at that time. And they were always
691
00:36:18.309 --> 00:36:23.750
raised in this very competitive environment. So can competitors have
692
00:36:23.809 --> 00:36:26.389
moments where they become friends or have respect for each other?
693
00:36:26.489 --> 00:36:26.829
Sure.
694
00:36:27.329 --> 00:36:31.030
But there was a lot of rivalry occurring. Michael also
695
00:36:31.070 --> 00:36:32.769
witnessed a lot of it in the same manner that
696
00:36:32.829 --> 00:36:33.130
I did.
697
00:36:33.880 --> 00:36:36.599
Um, it, it just to also wrap that up because
698
00:36:36.639 --> 00:36:38.780
it's interesting in the beginning of the interview, we were
699
00:36:38.820 --> 00:36:41.090
talking about people that can like suck the air out
700
00:36:41.130 --> 00:36:43.050
of the room, right? We talked about it with Diddy.
701
00:36:43.489 --> 00:36:47.769
You mentioned Hugh Hefner and Trump was one of them
702
00:36:47.829 --> 00:36:49.449
that you got to be in a room with him
703
00:36:49.469 --> 00:36:51.090
before he was the president of the United States when
704
00:36:51.130 --> 00:36:53.949
he was hosting his reality show. What was your experience
705
00:36:53.969 --> 00:36:54.309
with him?
706
00:36:54.329 --> 00:36:54.400
Hmm.
707
00:36:57.699 --> 00:37:08.170
Um, He was well, OK, so in the very beginning
708
00:37:08.190 --> 00:37:13.760
of that show, I was being like very fashion forward.
709
00:37:15.159 --> 00:37:18.369
So I was doing like different unique things with my
710
00:37:18.429 --> 00:37:21.760
hair and wardrobe. And then they were going to fire
711
00:37:21.800 --> 00:37:24.989
me one night. It was between me and Miss Universe,
712
00:37:25.050 --> 00:37:27.090
I think, or something like that. A pretty girl versus
713
00:37:27.110 --> 00:37:28.909
the not pretty girl in his eyes. And he was
714
00:37:28.969 --> 00:37:32.889
making that blatantly clear. My hair and makeup were behind
715
00:37:32.949 --> 00:37:34.900
the scenes watching the cameras and got to hear the
716
00:37:34.940 --> 00:37:37.079
entire dialogue and then told me later. I was the
717
00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:39.519
only one with my own hair and makeup, so they
718
00:37:39.719 --> 00:37:41.559
shouldn't have been in that back room because they would
719
00:37:41.579 --> 00:37:45.139
tell me everything. Um, but I got to hear the
720
00:37:45.179 --> 00:37:48.489
conversation about, um, keeping the pretty girl over the not
721
00:37:48.510 --> 00:37:51.150
pretty girl, but the not pretty girl was smart and
722
00:37:51.170 --> 00:37:54.570
the pretty girl wasn't as smart. Um, and from what
723
00:37:54.610 --> 00:37:57.679
I understand, Ivanka was defending me, Don was defending me,
724
00:37:57.760 --> 00:38:00.659
but Trump did not like the way I looked. And
725
00:38:00.719 --> 00:38:04.860
then I was approached by the two female producers and
726
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:07.039
they said, Hey, you're the youngest person we've had here.
727
00:38:07.079 --> 00:38:10.030
You're running circles around everyone, but Trump doesn't think you're pretty.
728
00:38:10.570 --> 00:38:12.329
So I need you to part your hair down the middle.
729
00:38:13.030 --> 00:38:14.869
and push your tits out and wear a tight dress.
730
00:38:15.269 --> 00:38:17.070
And so I started doing that. You see in the
731
00:38:17.130 --> 00:38:19.440
show I was like wearing suits and my hair was
732
00:38:19.480 --> 00:38:21.920
in all these like dynamic things and then at one
733
00:38:21.980 --> 00:38:24.820
point all you see after that is parted down the middle.
734
00:38:26.199 --> 00:38:30.320
How interesting to go from what we've said earlier was
735
00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:35.199
you never felt like that like blonde bimbo, but you
736
00:38:35.239 --> 00:38:38.760
played the part and it became more evident through making
737
00:38:38.820 --> 00:38:41.320
the band. You were like the beautiful one, but then
738
00:38:41.360 --> 00:38:43.500
it became more fixated on your look. So you would
739
00:38:43.519 --> 00:38:45.380
play that up more. Did you, and then you go
740
00:38:45.440 --> 00:38:48.500
on Celebrity Apprentice and you're saying you were wearing suits
741
00:38:48.539 --> 00:38:51.300
and changing your hair up, which probably I'm assuming made
742
00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:54.070
you feel more like take me seriously for my brain.
743
00:38:54.150 --> 00:38:57.159
This is not about my looks. We're here for a job.
744
00:38:57.659 --> 00:39:00.440
And then to find out Donald Trump is like, I
745
00:39:00.460 --> 00:39:02.380
want to see her fucking tits and her hair looking
746
00:39:02.440 --> 00:39:04.380
so she's hot. And then all of a sudden you
747
00:39:04.420 --> 00:39:06.719
have to go right back to that blonde bombshell role.
748
00:39:06.940 --> 00:39:08.699
It was very hard for me because I respected those
749
00:39:08.760 --> 00:39:10.739
two women so much. And I want to be behind
750
00:39:10.760 --> 00:39:12.719
the scenes and be a producer at some point and
751
00:39:12.780 --> 00:39:15.699
think that I'd be like probably more effective there. And
752
00:39:15.860 --> 00:39:18.159
seeing two women that like were at the height of
753
00:39:18.199 --> 00:39:19.980
the game, they were working for one of the biggest
754
00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:23.940
people and biggest production companies around. and they were like
755
00:39:25.039 --> 00:39:27.260
still telling me, hey, listen, this is what you need
756
00:39:27.280 --> 00:39:30.179
to be as a woman. And and I remember going
757
00:39:30.260 --> 00:39:32.119
home and like, I cried a little and I was like,
758
00:39:32.239 --> 00:39:35.260
I hate this industry. And I hate, like I was
759
00:39:35.320 --> 00:39:37.519
on such a high, I was winning everything. I was
760
00:39:37.559 --> 00:39:40.159
like excelling and killing it. And I thought like, finally
761
00:39:40.179 --> 00:39:42.909
I'm in this zone where people are like paying attention
762
00:39:42.949 --> 00:39:46.130
to my mind. Because I've never been like attached to
763
00:39:46.170 --> 00:39:48.170
my looks. I didn't even really think I was that pretty.
764
00:39:48.190 --> 00:39:50.389
I never have been like, oh my God, this is
765
00:39:50.449 --> 00:39:52.789
my moneymaker. I don't care about it at all.
766
00:39:53.650 --> 00:39:56.829
And then once you changed your looks, I was the
767
00:39:56.869 --> 00:39:57.690
last girl standing.
768
00:39:59.510 --> 00:39:59.849
Damn.
769
00:40:00.230 --> 00:40:04.630
Yeah. So like, what do I think about him? Pretty
770
00:40:04.769 --> 00:40:09.909
easy to manipulate if that's where the mentality is. I
771
00:40:09.989 --> 00:40:14.539
think that likely... There are other people that are running
772
00:40:14.619 --> 00:40:19.780
things behind the scenes, potentially one of the kids. I
773
00:40:19.889 --> 00:40:26.630
think that he was like a creepy old guy that
774
00:40:26.789 --> 00:40:35.010
just wants pussy and Big Macs. But the intense presence
775
00:40:35.030 --> 00:40:38.150
that he has in the room was there. But the
776
00:40:38.570 --> 00:40:44.019
conversation never aligned with that. So it wasn't someone like,
777
00:40:44.039 --> 00:40:46.719
whereas Diddy could prove himself when he would have that
778
00:40:46.739 --> 00:40:47.530
type of energy.
779
00:40:47.690 --> 00:40:47.909
Right.
780
00:40:48.349 --> 00:40:50.210
And Hugh Hefner, I don't know. I was only around
781
00:40:50.250 --> 00:40:52.449
him when I shot Playboy, but he had that same energy.
782
00:40:53.090 --> 00:40:57.090
But yeah, I think maybe Donald Trump's was a lot
783
00:40:57.489 --> 00:41:01.010
of smoke and mirrors, whereas Diddy is a very talented man.
784
00:41:02.239 --> 00:41:05.579
So the smoke and mirrors aspect of him, it was
785
00:41:05.619 --> 00:41:07.929
not something I respected. Yeah. And then once I loved
786
00:41:07.969 --> 00:41:10.969
Don and learned about the whole family in detail, then
787
00:41:11.010 --> 00:41:14.110
I was like, yeah, this is no good. And then
788
00:41:14.130 --> 00:41:15.880
when they were running the country, I was like, this
789
00:41:15.949 --> 00:41:18.900
is really no good. And I would wake up every
790
00:41:18.940 --> 00:41:20.940
day just like there were certain things that were happening
791
00:41:20.980 --> 00:41:23.780
that only I had information on. Like no one else
792
00:41:23.800 --> 00:41:25.980
had been in a moment where somebody was discussed that
793
00:41:26.019 --> 00:41:28.460
is now being seen at the White House with Trump
794
00:41:28.679 --> 00:41:31.000
wearing the red hat. But I know what they were
795
00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:33.619
calling him behind his back, a.k.a. Kanye.
796
00:41:33.880 --> 00:41:35.429
Can you talk about that a tiny bit?
797
00:41:36.019 --> 00:41:38.679
I can just say that like there were conversations about
798
00:41:38.739 --> 00:41:44.179
people that I heard. And then those people ended up
799
00:41:44.679 --> 00:41:48.769
going hard and representing him. I saw Kanye in the
800
00:41:48.809 --> 00:41:52.889
White House and I just was like, I can't be
801
00:41:52.929 --> 00:41:54.949
in this country anymore. It's too fake.
802
00:41:55.750 --> 00:42:00.070
So you're saying you heard conversations from the Trumps about Kanye?
803
00:42:00.090 --> 00:42:04.909
I heard a conversation that was like, I knew Don's
804
00:42:04.949 --> 00:42:10.420
feelings about And when I saw them interacting, I just
805
00:42:10.460 --> 00:42:15.360
really felt shell-shocked. It's all fake. Yeah, it's all fake.
806
00:42:15.409 --> 00:42:17.969
I don't know whatever Kanye felt in that moment might
807
00:42:17.989 --> 00:42:19.949
have been very real for him. But I know it
808
00:42:19.989 --> 00:42:23.230
was happening prior. So to me, I was just like,
809
00:42:23.730 --> 00:42:26.289
this whole thing is so fake. And I don't even
810
00:42:26.329 --> 00:42:29.119
feel like I could at all make a dent in
811
00:42:29.179 --> 00:42:31.159
how bad it's gotten. And I just didn't want to
812
00:42:31.179 --> 00:42:31.619
be here anymore.
813
00:42:31.699 --> 00:42:31.880
Right.
814
00:42:32.099 --> 00:42:37.219
Does it freak you out to be... connected to one of, unfortunately,
815
00:42:37.239 --> 00:42:40.739
the most powerful families in the world. And like you
816
00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:43.719
were a part of something. You're sitting on a podcast
817
00:42:43.780 --> 00:42:46.280
right now. You have information. Like, does it freak you out?
818
00:42:48.039 --> 00:42:50.179
No, but I have had a lot of people that
819
00:42:50.199 --> 00:42:54.590
were very concerned. There were a few really strange moments. Like,
820
00:42:55.650 --> 00:42:58.869
you know, I obviously am the daughter of attorneys. So
821
00:42:59.369 --> 00:43:06.880
I have receipts on everybody. Um, and my phone was
822
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:11.760
wiped right after I said something very controversial and people
823
00:43:11.800 --> 00:43:13.679
around me were like, make sure you have proof of
824
00:43:13.840 --> 00:43:18.239
all the things you said just in case, which I do. But, um, my,
825
00:43:18.440 --> 00:43:20.059
as I was like looking for it on my phone,
826
00:43:20.079 --> 00:43:23.260
my entire phone blacked out. I don't know if that's
827
00:43:23.320 --> 00:43:28.989
just magic, something accidentally happened, or if there's something more
828
00:43:29.030 --> 00:43:32.630
sinister happening. But there were moments where I was like,
829
00:43:33.250 --> 00:43:35.690
I even asked Michael, I'm like, could they have had
830
00:43:35.730 --> 00:43:40.170
somebody outside? Because his cellmate in prison was the guy
831
00:43:40.269 --> 00:43:46.829
who leaked, what's the girl from Hunger Games?
832
00:43:48.050 --> 00:43:49.849
Oh, Jennifer Lawrence's moods? Yes.
833
00:43:50.170 --> 00:43:51.909
He was the guy that leaked them. And how he
834
00:43:51.949 --> 00:43:54.050
would get them is by sitting outside of her apartment
835
00:43:54.070 --> 00:43:54.920
or wherever she lived.
836
00:43:55.059 --> 00:43:55.179
Right.
837
00:43:55.440 --> 00:43:57.400
And like waiting for her phone to be on a
838
00:43:57.440 --> 00:44:00.420
certain mode where they could access the cloud or whatever.
839
00:44:01.090 --> 00:44:03.840
So like there are people that park outside of your
840
00:44:03.889 --> 00:44:07.170
home and potentially do shit like that. So is it
841
00:44:07.230 --> 00:44:11.050
like beyond my comprehension that something like that could have
842
00:44:11.090 --> 00:44:13.389
occurred in that moment? I don't know. But for like
843
00:44:13.510 --> 00:44:16.610
a week, I just was like looking everywhere paranoid. But
844
00:44:17.110 --> 00:44:22.550
I don't believe that the type of people that could
845
00:44:22.590 --> 00:44:25.329
potentially do something like that that are associated with them
846
00:44:25.750 --> 00:44:29.110
care too much about what Don did before being in office.
847
00:44:29.849 --> 00:44:33.230
I thought like when we started seeing all of daddy's
848
00:44:33.610 --> 00:44:37.070
girlfriends come forward or one night stands come forward, when
849
00:44:37.969 --> 00:44:39.809
I did not know anything was leaking. I was at
850
00:44:39.849 --> 00:44:42.469
the store getting lucky charms because I was shooting a
851
00:44:42.489 --> 00:44:45.590
Fashion Nova campaign for fucking Irish day. What is it called?
852
00:44:45.610 --> 00:44:45.739
St.
853
00:44:45.760 --> 00:44:48.360
Patrick's Day because I'm Irish. And so I was like, oh,
854
00:44:48.380 --> 00:44:50.949
I'm going to put on the little like tacky lingerie
855
00:44:50.989 --> 00:44:52.949
and go sit in a bathtub of milk with Lucky
856
00:44:52.969 --> 00:44:55.630
Charms around me and do some really creative shit. So
857
00:44:55.670 --> 00:44:58.309
I was in the store looking like ass, going to
858
00:44:58.329 --> 00:45:00.349
get Lucky Charms. And I walked out and there was
859
00:45:00.369 --> 00:45:04.269
like flashes, like tons of cameras. And I was like,
860
00:45:05.150 --> 00:45:07.650
I went back inside the store and I was like, bitch,
861
00:45:07.690 --> 00:45:09.829
get it together. You are not that famous. You would
862
00:45:09.869 --> 00:45:12.090
not have fucking 60 people taking your photo. Like that
863
00:45:12.139 --> 00:45:15.099
was not about you. Get it together. Take the ego down.
864
00:45:15.510 --> 00:45:18.110
So I walked outside again and it was, and I
865
00:45:18.110 --> 00:45:19.849
was like, okay, bitch, that was about you. I went
866
00:45:19.889 --> 00:45:22.909
back inside the store. I opened my phone, which was
867
00:45:22.989 --> 00:45:26.199
on silent. I had like fucking 600 messages of everyone
868
00:45:26.219 --> 00:45:30.099
being like, get inside now. I had no idea. And
869
00:45:30.159 --> 00:45:34.679
just like that, they were lined outside of my house
870
00:45:34.719 --> 00:45:36.420
to the point where I would have my neighbors go
871
00:45:36.460 --> 00:45:38.670
give them packs of beer. They would be sending me
872
00:45:38.710 --> 00:45:41.449
DMs like, Aubrey, we're not leaving. We've been told not
873
00:45:41.489 --> 00:45:43.309
to leave. I've been out here for a week. I
874
00:45:43.349 --> 00:45:45.550
have a wife and children I'm trying to get home to.
875
00:45:45.809 --> 00:45:47.510
Can you just fucking walk outside and let us get
876
00:45:47.550 --> 00:45:49.250
a goddamn photo? We'll split the money with you.
877
00:45:49.550 --> 00:45:51.190
And just to clarify for everyone that doesn't understand what
878
00:45:51.210 --> 00:45:52.929
you're saying, why was this happening?
879
00:45:53.050 --> 00:45:56.389
Because the affair had been put out into the media.
880
00:45:56.789 --> 00:45:59.769
Do you think you would ever get back with him
881
00:45:59.929 --> 00:46:01.710
if you sat in a room with him and found
882
00:46:01.769 --> 00:46:03.849
out he actually is still the same guy? It's just
883
00:46:04.050 --> 00:46:04.849
all a persona?
884
00:46:06.030 --> 00:46:08.809
I have mixed feelings about that if I'm being completely honest.
885
00:46:08.849 --> 00:46:12.030
My gut is to say no because once you've gone
886
00:46:12.110 --> 00:46:14.389
as far as he's gone and said the most ridiculous
887
00:46:14.429 --> 00:46:17.840
shit that he's said, it's embarrassing and it's not something
888
00:46:17.860 --> 00:46:19.840
that I even respect. And if that's what you did
889
00:46:19.880 --> 00:46:22.119
in order to get your platform or whatever, if this
890
00:46:22.360 --> 00:46:26.780
is a power move, it's not very powerful. It's kind
891
00:46:26.820 --> 00:46:30.159
of lame. So my gut is to say no. But
892
00:46:30.559 --> 00:46:32.739
have I ever been loved like that by anyone else?
893
00:46:32.760 --> 00:46:32.989
No. No.
894
00:46:33.900 --> 00:46:36.739
And I don't talk to my mom, I don't talk
895
00:46:36.780 --> 00:46:38.860
to my dad, I don't know any other family members
896
00:46:38.900 --> 00:46:44.019
outside of them, really. So I'm this loner, walking the earth,
897
00:46:44.079 --> 00:46:47.059
looking for people that become my people one day. And
898
00:46:47.500 --> 00:46:49.659
because I was in this industry and so many intense
899
00:46:49.719 --> 00:46:53.440
things happened to me throughout that process, I didn't really
900
00:46:53.480 --> 00:46:55.889
get to have those 20s and 30s where you find
901
00:46:55.909 --> 00:46:58.909
your group of girlfriends. And I try to tell people nowadays,
902
00:46:58.969 --> 00:47:00.869
I'm like, I'm 38, I can't just walk up to
903
00:47:00.889 --> 00:47:02.250
a group of girlfriends and be like, hey guys, can
904
00:47:02.289 --> 00:47:05.269
I join the group? Like it's not gonna work like that.
905
00:47:06.030 --> 00:47:08.539
And everybody tries to just act like that's a possibility
906
00:47:08.559 --> 00:47:10.500
and I need to speak it, but I'm not walking
907
00:47:10.519 --> 00:47:12.480
up to a fucking group of 38 year old women
908
00:47:12.500 --> 00:47:13.579
and being like, hey, can I join?
909
00:47:13.599 --> 00:47:16.780
And I get that. And I get then why there
910
00:47:17.010 --> 00:47:21.679
is this like, want to have such a romantic relationship
911
00:47:21.719 --> 00:47:24.099
that not that person's not just going to be you
912
00:47:24.139 --> 00:47:25.980
know the person you're having sex with this is like
913
00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:28.719
your partner and your best friend and so I appreciate
914
00:47:28.760 --> 00:47:31.179
you sharing the details of your relationship with Dawn because
915
00:47:31.480 --> 00:47:35.219
you gave some like really interesting concrete explanations as to
916
00:47:35.239 --> 00:47:38.199
like what it was behind the scenes one of your
917
00:47:38.239 --> 00:47:44.389
other relationships was with Pauly D the DJ from the
918
00:47:44.429 --> 00:47:49.110
Jersey Shore and Were there any similarities between your relationship
919
00:47:49.159 --> 00:47:51.980
with Donald Trump Jr. and Pauly D?
920
00:47:55.920 --> 00:47:56.079
No.
921
00:47:57.900 --> 00:47:58.199
Zero.
922
00:47:59.590 --> 00:48:03.570
You've said in the past that your relationship with Pauly
923
00:48:03.630 --> 00:48:09.530
D was incredibly toxic. What kind of abuse did he
924
00:48:09.570 --> 00:48:10.079
put you through?
925
00:48:11.639 --> 00:48:15.400
So I'm careful about this topic because he's got a
926
00:48:15.420 --> 00:48:22.429
daughter that I care for. So I don't necessarily clarify
927
00:48:22.840 --> 00:48:27.389
all of the things, but I can just simply say
928
00:48:27.429 --> 00:48:30.070
it was fucking miserable and I'm happy that it's over.
929
00:48:30.090 --> 00:48:35.590
And if I'm taking accountability and able to talk about
930
00:48:35.650 --> 00:48:39.110
it now with like a bird's eye perspective, I was
931
00:48:39.170 --> 00:48:43.480
very sick to... allow what was happening to happen. And
932
00:48:44.760 --> 00:48:47.980
because of all kinds of unprocessed trauma that occurred in
933
00:48:48.019 --> 00:48:50.900
my childhood and after that for long periods of time
934
00:48:50.940 --> 00:48:54.920
in the industry, I think at that time I was like,
935
00:48:55.099 --> 00:48:57.530
I've never sacrificed my career for a man so I'm
936
00:48:57.550 --> 00:49:01.550
going to now because I wanna get married and have children.
937
00:49:02.550 --> 00:49:05.989
So that with the combination of how he is meant
938
00:49:06.090 --> 00:49:10.420
that I went in knowing I was gonna sacrifice And
939
00:49:10.780 --> 00:49:14.039
everything that he wanted me to be was expected of me.
940
00:49:14.389 --> 00:49:17.809
So I was sacrificing so much that I lost my backbone.
941
00:49:19.510 --> 00:49:23.159
It started small. It just was controlling things. Like I
942
00:49:23.179 --> 00:49:26.760
can't show my cleavage on the internet. I have to
943
00:49:26.820 --> 00:49:29.300
unfollow everybody because we can only follow each other. I
944
00:49:29.460 --> 00:49:33.000
unfollowed like 100,000 people. And it was expected to be
945
00:49:33.039 --> 00:49:36.760
done by a certain moment. Like it was just things
946
00:49:36.800 --> 00:49:38.699
like that where I was like, this is really insecure
947
00:49:38.760 --> 00:49:42.590
and whack. But I want to compromise. I want to
948
00:49:43.010 --> 00:49:44.789
be in this place. And kind of this idea of
949
00:49:44.809 --> 00:49:46.170
do you want to be a hoe or a wife
950
00:49:46.289 --> 00:49:49.409
was always presented to me. And that was the bottom
951
00:49:49.469 --> 00:49:53.139
line to forcing me to change everything that I was.
952
00:49:53.739 --> 00:49:58.019
And he kind of paints it like, oh, yeah, my
953
00:49:58.119 --> 00:50:00.260
rules are simple. Don't be a hoe and be loyal
954
00:50:00.280 --> 00:50:02.420
to your man. Those weren't really the rules. The rules
955
00:50:02.460 --> 00:50:05.360
were much more intense. And there were punishments if the
956
00:50:05.400 --> 00:50:09.750
rules were not followed. And there were very, like, Polly
957
00:50:09.769 --> 00:50:13.530
and my mom have direct similarities, like, in a sick way.
958
00:50:14.110 --> 00:50:17.460
The push and pull of the love. But it's like,
959
00:50:17.480 --> 00:50:19.840
there is no actually push and pull. It's you're constantly
960
00:50:19.900 --> 00:50:23.820
having to give to that person. And if not, there's moments.
961
00:50:23.840 --> 00:50:27.840
And work around their, like, stories that they're telling about
962
00:50:27.860 --> 00:50:30.179
their life and themselves that I know are not accurate.
963
00:50:31.119 --> 00:50:34.829
So it's like being... around somebody that does not have
964
00:50:34.869 --> 00:50:37.690
the same awareness that you do, self-awareness that you do.
965
00:50:37.889 --> 00:50:41.679
There was insincerity on my end too. That's right around
966
00:50:41.699 --> 00:50:45.239
the time where this internet phenomenon and Instagram and these
967
00:50:45.699 --> 00:50:49.639
couple goals ideas started happening, right? Like Valentine's Day, the
968
00:50:49.679 --> 00:50:52.579
Kardashians have run that holiday for everybody. Unless your fucking
969
00:50:52.619 --> 00:50:56.210
man has got Kenny G and 1,800 individual roses plucked
970
00:50:56.250 --> 00:50:59.710
into a fucking vase, he ain't shit. So then you
971
00:50:59.730 --> 00:51:02.110
just look at your man on Valentine's Day like, dude,
972
00:51:02.690 --> 00:51:04.469
Chloe got this. What the fuck? Why can't I get
973
00:51:04.510 --> 00:51:10.150
that shit? And then all the Instagram girls that wish
974
00:51:10.170 --> 00:51:14.510
they were Kim Kardashian come forward with their fake relationships.
975
00:51:15.550 --> 00:51:18.480
And they all have matching outfits and they're matching cars
976
00:51:18.500 --> 00:51:20.989
and they're matching fucking flowers. If you really are in
977
00:51:21.010 --> 00:51:23.769
a happy relationship on Valentine's Day, you're fucking and eating
978
00:51:23.809 --> 00:51:26.610
Chinese food in bed with your fat bellies out laughing
979
00:51:26.659 --> 00:51:29.980
and watching some TV. You're not posing and fucking matching
980
00:51:30.199 --> 00:51:32.599
Jordans in front of cars. You know how long those
981
00:51:32.639 --> 00:51:35.840
photos take to shoot? It's miserable. And I faked miserable
982
00:51:35.880 --> 00:51:38.639
photos as if I were in a happy relationship all
983
00:51:38.659 --> 00:51:40.599
the time with Pauly. So I know what it is.
984
00:51:41.139 --> 00:51:43.320
I want to say I really appreciate what you're saying
985
00:51:43.400 --> 00:51:46.730
because I can imagine it's exhausting. I guess my only
986
00:51:46.789 --> 00:51:49.880
comment really, and I'm trying to think as interviewing you,
987
00:51:50.389 --> 00:51:53.250
Why do I want to know this? And to be honest,
988
00:51:53.369 --> 00:51:56.969
it's because everyone looks at him as like this great guy,
989
00:51:57.030 --> 00:52:00.409
Pauly D from the Jersey shore. And yet there's this
990
00:52:00.780 --> 00:52:05.280
dark side behind that's this abusive person. And, and it's,
991
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:07.900
I guess I'm just wondering how does that affect you
992
00:52:08.480 --> 00:52:11.880
seeing how he's so glamorized and loved and he's the
993
00:52:11.940 --> 00:52:15.500
goofy guy and you were in a nightmare with him?
994
00:52:16.750 --> 00:52:20.650
Um, so I have two different feelings about it. One, um,
995
00:52:21.110 --> 00:52:24.679
it sucks. I've never really been believed when I talk
996
00:52:24.719 --> 00:52:27.059
about it to this day. I mean, because I, I'm
997
00:52:27.099 --> 00:52:29.900
being a little bit more specific about certain things. I
998
00:52:29.980 --> 00:52:31.820
am getting a lot of people that if you've been
999
00:52:31.860 --> 00:52:34.920
abused in any type of mental, mental abuse, physical abuse,
1000
00:52:35.199 --> 00:52:38.059
if you've been in an abusive, toxic situation. You don't
1001
00:52:38.099 --> 00:52:40.599
just say, hey, I saw your interview, great job. They'll
1002
00:52:40.619 --> 00:52:43.510
write me two pages of, I went through exactly what
1003
00:52:43.550 --> 00:52:45.190
you just said. I went through exactly what you said here.
1004
00:52:45.429 --> 00:52:47.949
Go to your text messages and type in consequences on
1005
00:52:47.989 --> 00:52:50.449
the search. And every single text message with the word
1006
00:52:50.489 --> 00:52:53.090
consequences was from Polly. If you do this, this is
1007
00:52:53.130 --> 00:52:55.130
what's gonna happen in return to you. And it's usually
1008
00:52:55.190 --> 00:52:58.380
cheating or whatever the punishments are. And usually it's because
1009
00:52:58.400 --> 00:53:01.179
they wanted to do that anyways. And there's a whole
1010
00:53:01.219 --> 00:53:03.940
gaslighting circle that gets you blocked and then in some
1011
00:53:03.960 --> 00:53:07.099
pussy for the weekend. If I had just known, to
1012
00:53:07.199 --> 00:53:10.039
look for just a few things. If I would have
1013
00:53:10.139 --> 00:53:12.780
known that these things truly mean that this person is
1014
00:53:12.840 --> 00:53:15.079
not ever gonna be capable of loving me, I would
1015
00:53:15.099 --> 00:53:18.099
have bounced and I never would have wasted that time.
1016
00:53:18.179 --> 00:53:20.099
And that's the one thing that I'm angry about is
1017
00:53:20.139 --> 00:53:22.920
like the time wasted. And I have to be angry
1018
00:53:22.940 --> 00:53:25.260
at myself for that because I could easily have left.
1019
00:53:25.559 --> 00:53:27.880
I appreciate when people come on and are really open
1020
00:53:27.940 --> 00:53:31.440
because I know so many young women write into me
1021
00:53:31.460 --> 00:53:34.590
and ask me questions about like, how do I know? Like,
1022
00:53:34.639 --> 00:53:36.750
what are the signs? Like, what should I look for?
1023
00:53:37.550 --> 00:53:40.030
Have you been in an abusive relationship mentally or physically?
1024
00:53:41.030 --> 00:53:44.000
I was in a mentally abusive situation where I was
1025
00:53:44.019 --> 00:53:46.559
with like a serial cheater and it was the gaslighting
1026
00:53:46.579 --> 00:53:49.239
where like, no, I love you. Like that was not
1027
00:53:49.280 --> 00:53:51.519
what you found like on the iPad. And I, and
1028
00:53:51.579 --> 00:53:55.340
I w I was like, essentially I was completely not
1029
00:53:55.539 --> 00:53:58.349
able to talk to my family. I stopped talking to them.
1030
00:53:58.860 --> 00:54:01.920
They were like, where did our daughter go? Like what's happening?
1031
00:54:01.940 --> 00:54:03.960
And I didn't see it at the time because it
1032
00:54:03.980 --> 00:54:05.900
was like, no, you guys just don't get it. Like,
1033
00:54:06.460 --> 00:54:08.960
you don't understand. And when I found out he was
1034
00:54:09.500 --> 00:54:12.079
cheating the first time, I remember like, you think you
1035
00:54:12.119 --> 00:54:14.840
know what you're gonna do. And I like, it's me, Alex,
1036
00:54:14.949 --> 00:54:17.150
call her daddy girl. I'd be like, fuck you, I'm out.
1037
00:54:17.269 --> 00:54:19.269
And I remember I didn't tell a soul. And I
1038
00:54:19.309 --> 00:54:23.000
just sat in the room And I, it's like embarrassing
1039
00:54:23.079 --> 00:54:25.199
for me to look back and think about, cause I'm like,
1040
00:54:25.579 --> 00:54:27.480
but I now know, like I couldn't have seen it
1041
00:54:27.539 --> 00:54:29.510
that way in the moment. I was so hurt. I
1042
00:54:29.550 --> 00:54:33.550
was so brainwashed almost of like the, the love that
1043
00:54:33.610 --> 00:54:35.469
I was going to get back if I just stuck
1044
00:54:35.510 --> 00:54:37.409
it through and maybe it will get better now because
1045
00:54:37.449 --> 00:54:39.130
now that I know, and we're going to talk through it.
1046
00:54:39.230 --> 00:54:41.150
It's the goals. They set a goal and you're going
1047
00:54:41.170 --> 00:54:42.989
to have extreme happiness if you get to this flag.
1048
00:54:43.269 --> 00:54:45.090
So you're running, running, running to get to that flag.
1049
00:54:45.110 --> 00:54:46.409
And the second you get to the flag, they move
1050
00:54:46.429 --> 00:54:48.920
the flag over here. Then you're running, running, running. Cause
1051
00:54:48.940 --> 00:54:50.949
you know that happiness is coming. You know that they're
1052
00:54:50.969 --> 00:54:52.969
going to be great. You know that this has the
1053
00:54:52.989 --> 00:54:54.750
potential to be all these things you want. And then
1054
00:54:54.769 --> 00:54:55.670
the flag comes over here.
1055
00:54:55.929 --> 00:54:59.329
Can you, you mentioned, which I really appreciate you said,
1056
00:54:59.489 --> 00:55:01.719
had I known these certain things, I would have bounced.
1057
00:55:01.739 --> 00:55:02.139
What they are?
1058
00:55:02.159 --> 00:55:02.699
Yeah.
1059
00:55:02.739 --> 00:55:09.480
So anyone that is asking you to dull your light.
1060
00:55:10.300 --> 00:55:14.760
So like, you know, it came down to appearance, clothing.
1061
00:55:15.679 --> 00:55:20.230
I mean, these things were so big. And they're not
1062
00:55:20.289 --> 00:55:22.909
anything to me, so I would compromise on them. But
1063
00:55:23.230 --> 00:55:26.210
the second that you show somebody who has that mentality
1064
00:55:26.329 --> 00:55:28.980
that you're willing to compromise to what they want, they
1065
00:55:29.000 --> 00:55:31.860
will never stop doing that to you. You have to
1066
00:55:31.920 --> 00:55:35.059
train men in the first month. It is highly important
1067
00:55:35.360 --> 00:55:37.579
that you let them know exactly how this fucking relationship
1068
00:55:37.619 --> 00:55:40.679
is going to look, period. You need to train them.
1069
00:55:41.039 --> 00:55:43.360
Maybe I take responsibility that I did not train him
1070
00:55:43.409 --> 00:55:46.210
well enough in the very beginning and that I accepted
1071
00:55:46.250 --> 00:55:49.280
a lot of the shit because I felt like, I
1072
00:55:49.440 --> 00:55:52.219
didn't think they were, they felt small to me in
1073
00:55:52.239 --> 00:55:54.840
the beginning. They got bigger and bigger and the asks
1074
00:55:54.980 --> 00:55:57.820
got bigger. But in the beginning, and by the way,
1075
00:55:58.219 --> 00:56:01.070
maybe I'm just the wrong person for him and maybe
1076
00:56:01.250 --> 00:56:03.590
everything that I am freaked him out to the core
1077
00:56:03.969 --> 00:56:07.230
because I am open. I am like very, I don't
1078
00:56:07.369 --> 00:56:10.050
play a character like he does. I'm me all the time.
1079
00:56:10.329 --> 00:56:12.510
There's no secret anything that happens behind the scene. I'm
1080
00:56:12.550 --> 00:56:14.659
very open about all of my bad and good days,
1081
00:56:15.099 --> 00:56:18.909
more so about my bad days. So like, I think
1082
00:56:19.010 --> 00:56:21.989
that if a man is trying to get you to
1083
00:56:22.050 --> 00:56:24.909
change small things, don't think that it's going to stay small.
1084
00:56:24.949 --> 00:56:28.889
It will get bigger. The isolation thing is a big thing.
1085
00:56:29.570 --> 00:56:32.139
I wasn't allowed to hang out with gay men because
1086
00:56:32.239 --> 00:56:34.219
gay is not really gay. Gay are just straight men
1087
00:56:34.239 --> 00:56:37.579
that want to see some titties. So I had to
1088
00:56:37.619 --> 00:56:40.460
cut off my makeup artist because I changed in front
1089
00:56:40.480 --> 00:56:42.460
of him one time, and that was unacceptable. So I
1090
00:56:42.500 --> 00:56:48.110
lost my favorite makeup artist. People, and then slowly but surely, like,
1091
00:56:48.550 --> 00:56:51.650
either you're being isolated or expected to always be where
1092
00:56:51.690 --> 00:56:56.409
they feel safe that you're there. And then, like, if I, like,
1093
00:56:56.429 --> 00:57:00.289
I couldn't have male friends. That was absolutely not happening.
1094
00:57:00.889 --> 00:57:03.480
I couldn't like guys on Instagram, like, producers that I
1095
00:57:03.500 --> 00:57:05.949
work with that just want a Grammy. I couldn't acknowledge it.
1096
00:57:06.079 --> 00:57:08.440
When I did, it did not work well for me.
1097
00:57:08.699 --> 00:57:11.699
It was a big punishment that was horrible. So, like,
1098
00:57:11.760 --> 00:57:15.610
there were all these, like, just slowly kind of stripping
1099
00:57:15.670 --> 00:57:18.219
away these ideas. And it was always presented to me as,
1100
00:57:18.230 --> 00:57:19.590
do you want to be a hoe or a wife?
1101
00:57:20.070 --> 00:57:21.750
This is what hoes do. This is what wives do. Well,
1102
00:57:21.769 --> 00:57:23.690
if a man ever says that to you, leave him
1103
00:57:23.750 --> 00:57:26.269
immediately because there is no such thing as a hoe
1104
00:57:26.329 --> 00:57:29.170
and a wife. I know plenty of women that are freaks,
1105
00:57:29.250 --> 00:57:31.670
that are wives, that are doing all kinds of wild shit.
1106
00:57:32.030 --> 00:57:34.670
And I know plenty of girls that are sexually free
1107
00:57:35.389 --> 00:57:37.710
and they would make incredible wives.
1108
00:57:38.309 --> 00:57:41.940
Yeah, I appreciate you saying that. Uh, cause I definitely,
1109
00:57:42.039 --> 00:57:42.440
if I'm.
1110
00:57:42.340 --> 00:57:43.900
A man, I hope my wife is a hoe.
1111
00:57:44.019 --> 00:57:44.360
Yeah.
1112
00:57:44.659 --> 00:57:46.599
Come on. Like God, if I'm, if I'm.
1113
00:57:46.510 --> 00:57:49.010
Married to a prude, my dick's going to go unsucked
1114
00:57:49.170 --> 00:57:50.190
my entire marriage.
1115
00:57:50.789 --> 00:57:53.690
Yeah. The, the ex that I had experienced that with
1116
00:57:53.730 --> 00:57:55.630
would always say that to me, you can't post that
1117
00:57:55.670 --> 00:57:57.889
on Instagram. Like you look like a slut. Like, do
1118
00:57:57.909 --> 00:57:59.110
you want to be my girlfriend or do you want
1119
00:57:59.130 --> 00:58:00.960
to be a slut? And I'm like, well, I thought
1120
00:58:00.980 --> 00:58:03.659
you just liked someone's bikini picture the other day, but
1121
00:58:03.760 --> 00:58:07.690
why can't I post we were at the beach? But
1122
00:58:07.710 --> 00:58:09.949
I really think you did a great job of articulating
1123
00:58:10.010 --> 00:58:13.030
it which is all of a sudden you start to
1124
00:58:13.309 --> 00:58:15.889
make a little, it's lit. It feels little in a moment,
1125
00:58:15.929 --> 00:58:17.750
but as a compromise, you're like, Oh, I guess, but
1126
00:58:17.769 --> 00:58:18.809
it's always you doing it.
1127
00:58:18.889 --> 00:58:19.050
Yeah.
1128
00:58:19.110 --> 00:58:22.130
You never find yourself asking them and them actually changing
1129
00:58:22.210 --> 00:58:22.590
for you.
1130
00:58:22.630 --> 00:58:25.440
Yes. And that's where, that's where I feel I need
1131
00:58:25.460 --> 00:58:28.400
to hold myself accountable because once I saw that he
1132
00:58:28.440 --> 00:58:30.860
was never going to ever do anything for me and
1133
00:58:30.880 --> 00:58:33.239
it was always going to be the expectation that I change,
1134
00:58:33.639 --> 00:58:35.719
I should have left, but I was sick. I was
1135
00:58:35.780 --> 00:58:38.820
lost in these ideas that I landed in this place
1136
00:58:38.880 --> 00:58:41.650
with this guy that's, successful and I'm successful and we're
1137
00:58:41.690 --> 00:58:44.550
both these MTV babies and we're gonna have famous kids
1138
00:58:44.590 --> 00:58:47.469
and we're gonna post all the Instagram photos and no
1139
00:58:47.530 --> 00:58:49.829
one's gonna see me fail and I wanted what I
1140
00:58:49.869 --> 00:58:51.730
really wanted before I started dating him was to get
1141
00:58:51.769 --> 00:58:53.630
out of the industry I did not want to be
1142
00:58:53.670 --> 00:58:55.570
a celebrity did not want to be Aubrey O'Day I
1143
00:58:55.610 --> 00:58:57.849
did not want to do any of that anymore so
1144
00:58:57.909 --> 00:59:01.579
like I thought how can I not be that person
1145
00:59:01.599 --> 00:59:04.920
yeah and still not have anyone look at me like
1146
00:59:05.000 --> 00:59:08.559
I failed or fell off I didn't continue to fight
1147
00:59:08.599 --> 00:59:12.119
for the goal, the dream. but I didn't want it anymore.
1148
00:59:12.179 --> 00:59:15.179
And I couldn't, I didn't understand that. So like I
1149
00:59:15.400 --> 00:59:18.360
saw being with him as this nice resting place of like,
1150
00:59:19.400 --> 00:59:21.719
no one will ever have seen me fail or sweat.
1151
00:59:22.280 --> 00:59:24.280
And I would just walk into this little life that
1152
00:59:24.840 --> 00:59:27.440
was glamorized and people wanted to watch it.
1153
00:59:28.590 --> 00:59:30.369
I think that makes a lot of sense. And even
1154
00:59:30.409 --> 00:59:33.809
going back to how you started saying like, I don't
1155
00:59:33.849 --> 00:59:36.690
have a relationship with my family. I'm an only child.
1156
00:59:36.829 --> 00:59:39.610
I really wanted to get married. I wanted to create
1157
00:59:39.659 --> 00:59:42.480
a life. I think that everyone listening and watching, you
1158
00:59:42.500 --> 00:59:45.300
have to be easier on yourself when you have that hindsight.
1159
00:59:45.320 --> 00:59:47.619
It's like, yeah, it's always 2020 of like, whoa. But
1160
00:59:47.980 --> 00:59:51.679
in the moment, if you have things that you really
1161
00:59:51.739 --> 00:59:54.719
want within yourself, you're going to make compromises sometimes in
1162
00:59:54.739 --> 00:59:57.659
an unhealthy way to try to make it fit into
1163
00:59:58.070 --> 00:59:59.849
the idea of what you want it to be. And
1164
00:59:59.889 --> 01:00:03.250
so I appreciate you taking accountability, but I do think
1165
01:00:03.309 --> 01:00:07.690
it's like accountability of like an understanding, but not being
1166
01:00:07.769 --> 01:00:10.449
too hard on yourself because those situations, when you get
1167
01:00:10.489 --> 01:00:12.409
in it with someone like that, they are.
1168
01:00:14.019 --> 01:00:17.179
So fucking good at what they do, and you had
1169
01:00:17.380 --> 01:00:18.340
no fucking chance.
1170
01:00:18.449 --> 01:00:20.929
Imagine Pauly D, the guy who doesn't own a book,
1171
01:00:21.030 --> 01:00:23.730
that never had an intellectual conversation with me a day
1172
01:00:23.769 --> 01:00:26.429
in his life, is the smart guy that is so
1173
01:00:26.530 --> 01:00:28.889
good at doing what he does. It blew me the
1174
01:00:28.969 --> 01:00:33.019
fuck out of the park. I just did not see
1175
01:00:33.059 --> 01:00:37.159
this guy ever being able to have mental control over me.
1176
01:00:37.809 --> 01:00:40.570
And that is something that a lot of successful women
1177
01:00:40.730 --> 01:00:43.420
have experienced and then do not talk about because they
1178
01:00:43.460 --> 01:00:45.820
are in shame of that. Because do you know what
1179
01:00:45.840 --> 01:00:48.119
it's like for me to tell my intellectual friends that
1180
01:00:48.139 --> 01:00:49.900
Pauly D did a number on my mind?
1181
01:00:50.940 --> 01:00:51.360
I get it.
1182
01:00:51.380 --> 01:00:52.099
It's embarrassing.
1183
01:00:52.139 --> 01:00:53.260
Yeah, I understand that.
1184
01:01:12.619 --> 01:01:13.300
Thank you.
1185
01:01:16.980 --> 01:01:18.559
Good nights are about the people.
1186
01:01:19.380 --> 01:01:19.860
The laughs.
1187
01:01:20.380 --> 01:01:23.150
The real moments you don't want to miss. So why
1188
01:01:23.210 --> 01:01:28.190
step outside? Velo tobacco-free nicotine pouches fit seamlessly into your night.
1189
01:01:28.429 --> 01:01:31.769
Convenient and full of flavour. No breaks. No interruptions.
1190
01:01:32.289 --> 01:01:32.610
Velo.
1191
01:01:32.889 --> 01:01:37.219
Anytime, anywhere nicotine pouches. 18 and over. Contains tobacco-free nicotine
1192
01:01:37.260 --> 01:01:39.599
and addictive substance. If you're new to Velo, start with Mellow.
1193
01:01:39.659 --> 01:01:41.199
You should not use this product if you do not
1194
01:01:41.300 --> 01:01:42.079
already use nicotine.
1195
01:01:45.320 --> 01:01:47.880
Due to the leaves falling in autumn and the challenges
1196
01:01:47.940 --> 01:01:51.179
this brings, Eireann Road Airan wishes to advise customers that
1197
01:01:51.219 --> 01:01:54.219
a revised timetable will take effect on Dart and Dublin
1198
01:01:54.280 --> 01:01:59.230
commuter routes from Monday, September 21st until December 12th. Morning
1199
01:01:59.269 --> 01:02:02.269
and evening peak services will be affected with some earlier
1200
01:02:02.289 --> 01:02:05.329
departure times. Please check travel times on the Eireann Road
1201
01:02:05.429 --> 01:02:09.510
Airan app or irishrail.ie. Eireann Road Airan is part of
1202
01:02:09.550 --> 01:02:10.949
the Transport for Ireland network.
1203
01:02:14.750 --> 01:02:17.349
You didn't have sex for three years after breaking up
1204
01:02:17.369 --> 01:02:19.150
with Pauly D. What happened?
1205
01:02:20.409 --> 01:02:25.579
So in that relationship, there was the first cheating person. Actually,
1206
01:02:25.599 --> 01:02:27.400
I don't remember. Yeah, I think she was the first.
1207
01:02:27.739 --> 01:02:30.980
The girl who said that Offset got her pregnant during
1208
01:02:31.139 --> 01:02:34.019
Cardi B's marriage with Offset. This girl came forward and
1209
01:02:34.059 --> 01:02:35.820
said Offset got her pregnant. And it was like this
1210
01:02:35.860 --> 01:02:37.500
horrible thing that Cardi B had to go through in
1211
01:02:37.519 --> 01:02:40.019
front of the world. that girl is like, I don't
1212
01:02:40.079 --> 01:02:42.659
know her nickname. She's like called the black widow or something.
1213
01:02:42.699 --> 01:02:45.590
It's like younger generation shit, but she's a, she fucks
1214
01:02:45.650 --> 01:02:47.730
people's boyfriends and then comes forward to the media. So
1215
01:02:47.769 --> 01:02:50.050
she was the first person I actually experienced her before
1216
01:02:50.110 --> 01:02:53.650
she did that shit to Cardi B. Um, and she
1217
01:02:53.670 --> 01:02:56.590
had text messages, she had everything, DMs and whatever to
1218
01:02:56.650 --> 01:03:00.590
prove to me. Um, and it turned out that he
1219
01:03:00.610 --> 01:03:03.059
had fucked, he had hooked up with her, but not
1220
01:03:03.099 --> 01:03:06.980
when she said they hooked up and she had manipulated
1221
01:03:07.019 --> 01:03:10.340
the data or whatever. And I was able to get
1222
01:03:10.360 --> 01:03:14.980
her because Pauly had a dick piercing that he took
1223
01:03:15.119 --> 01:03:18.960
out during something that he did. And I was like,
1224
01:03:19.000 --> 01:03:21.199
don't put it back in now that you've had it out.
1225
01:03:21.300 --> 01:03:24.619
I don't like it. And so she was saying that
1226
01:03:24.860 --> 01:03:27.079
after that part that she had, she was like, I
1227
01:03:27.119 --> 01:03:28.280
was like, oh, can you just tell me what his
1228
01:03:28.320 --> 01:03:30.860
dick ring looked like? And she was like, I don't know,
1229
01:03:30.900 --> 01:03:32.980
but when it was clinging in my mouth, I could
1230
01:03:33.019 --> 01:03:35.360
taste it, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, okay,
1231
01:03:35.380 --> 01:03:40.480
she's lying. So the first one was a lie. But
1232
01:03:41.000 --> 01:03:43.489
he was reaching out to her again. But did they
1233
01:03:43.510 --> 01:03:46.070
have sex or anything during that time? I don't think so.
1234
01:03:46.530 --> 01:03:49.070
So then that kind of showed me it played games
1235
01:03:49.110 --> 01:03:52.550
with me because somebody did lie. So was everybody lying?
1236
01:03:53.010 --> 01:03:57.150
Because there were many women after that. So what happened was,
1237
01:03:57.230 --> 01:03:59.730
is in the beginning there were videos of one of
1238
01:03:59.750 --> 01:04:03.449
the situations. After that, all of the phones are taken
1239
01:04:03.510 --> 01:04:05.590
from the girls that go up to the suite after
1240
01:04:05.610 --> 01:04:08.869
the party and they're put in like buckets or whatever
1241
01:04:09.030 --> 01:04:12.190
at the door and the assistants have them. So after that,
1242
01:04:12.309 --> 01:04:14.849
I could never have any proof. There was never anything
1243
01:04:14.909 --> 01:04:18.889
on video that I could actually see proof with like
1244
01:04:18.949 --> 01:04:21.869
I had prior. but the phones were being taken at
1245
01:04:21.909 --> 01:04:25.369
the door. So, so I would, these girls would come
1246
01:04:25.429 --> 01:04:29.710
like clockwork. I was arguing with cocktail waitresses with tattoos
1247
01:04:29.750 --> 01:04:33.849
all over their faces about whose pussy is better. I mean,
1248
01:04:33.969 --> 01:04:38.039
it got so ignorant and cheap. I, I did not
1249
01:04:38.119 --> 01:04:41.019
feel beautiful. And because I was not able to look
1250
01:04:41.079 --> 01:04:43.920
beautiful because he didn't want makeup. He didn't want outfits.
1251
01:04:43.960 --> 01:04:45.800
He didn't, I couldn't be in bathing suits. I couldn't
1252
01:04:45.840 --> 01:04:48.949
have anything sexy on. Like, So I could never show
1253
01:04:49.030 --> 01:04:51.710
up like Aubrey. I had to show up like the down,
1254
01:04:52.190 --> 01:04:54.809
like head down, not looking at anyone, not being flirty
1255
01:04:54.849 --> 01:04:57.519
and romantic and loving to a child, to a woman,
1256
01:04:57.579 --> 01:05:00.139
to an older lady, to a guy. I'm just a
1257
01:05:00.260 --> 01:05:03.739
natural flirt. I have that energy. I couldn't be any
1258
01:05:03.780 --> 01:05:05.219
of that. So I just had to shut down and
1259
01:05:05.239 --> 01:05:07.039
like kind of mosey in while all the girls that
1260
01:05:07.099 --> 01:05:08.739
eat fucks are looking at me. And I would just
1261
01:05:08.880 --> 01:05:12.889
feel like, why can't I be these girls that you're
1262
01:05:12.929 --> 01:05:15.289
going and hooking up with? So what I started to
1263
01:05:15.329 --> 01:05:18.369
do was just have like extreme amounts of sex with
1264
01:05:18.409 --> 01:05:21.139
this man so that I thought his dick would be
1265
01:05:21.199 --> 01:05:23.599
so tired that he wouldn't want to fuck anyone on
1266
01:05:23.619 --> 01:05:27.679
the weekends. And then I also made it like a
1267
01:05:27.739 --> 01:05:30.280
thing that he could not drink anymore because that's usually
1268
01:05:30.300 --> 01:05:34.500
when things were happening. So that was cool for a second.
1269
01:05:35.260 --> 01:05:39.670
And then one morning I went into the bathroom to
1270
01:05:39.690 --> 01:05:41.170
go to the bathroom. He would leave at like 4
1271
01:05:41.170 --> 01:05:43.309
or 5 a.m. to go to a gig. And he
1272
01:05:43.329 --> 01:05:48.869
was shaving his pubes in the shower. And I was like, okay,
1273
01:05:49.710 --> 01:05:52.949
that's not right. So I like peeked my head in
1274
01:05:52.969 --> 01:05:54.269
the shower. I'm like, hey, why are you shaving your
1275
01:05:54.309 --> 01:05:57.730
dick right now? You're going on a gig for two days.
1276
01:05:58.309 --> 01:06:01.469
Why would you need to have your dick shaved? And
1277
01:06:01.510 --> 01:06:03.300
he was like, cause I always have it shaved. I'm like,
1278
01:06:03.320 --> 01:06:05.539
your shit has been hairy for the past fucking two months.
1279
01:06:06.260 --> 01:06:07.599
And now all of a sudden you're shaving it all
1280
01:06:07.659 --> 01:06:09.480
off when you leave the pussy that it goes in.
1281
01:06:10.380 --> 01:06:12.880
I couldn't take it anymore. I was so angry. And like,
1282
01:06:13.269 --> 01:06:15.530
It's one thing if it just happened another time or
1283
01:06:15.750 --> 01:06:18.699
it was happening every weekend. And it was like, there
1284
01:06:18.760 --> 01:06:22.340
isn't anyone on earth that has this many coincidences. At
1285
01:06:22.440 --> 01:06:24.639
a certain point, everyone in my life was like, Aubrey,
1286
01:06:25.199 --> 01:06:26.960
you're not going to have proof because they're taking the
1287
01:06:27.000 --> 01:06:29.889
phones and this is definitely occurring. This is not normal.
1288
01:06:30.360 --> 01:06:32.250
And his thing to me was always, I'm a celebrity
1289
01:06:32.269 --> 01:06:34.550
and everybody wants to be with me and girls lie
1290
01:06:34.570 --> 01:06:36.530
all the time and they talk shit and you have
1291
01:06:36.550 --> 01:06:38.250
to be strong and you have to know your place
1292
01:06:38.289 --> 01:06:40.880
and you can't fucking react like this. So it was
1293
01:06:40.920 --> 01:06:43.730
like all of these games and I would be so
1294
01:06:43.789 --> 01:06:45.530
tired and I would just pray that he didn't cheat.
1295
01:06:45.849 --> 01:06:47.769
Not even because I gave a fuck about him anymore,
1296
01:06:48.130 --> 01:06:50.989
but just because it would ruin my entire week. And
1297
01:06:51.010 --> 01:06:52.309
then it would happen again on the weekend. I was
1298
01:06:52.349 --> 01:06:55.389
just in like turmoil and chaos. I had very few
1299
01:06:55.449 --> 01:06:57.670
times where I could like lift out of it and
1300
01:06:57.710 --> 01:06:59.929
try to believe in him, but I was still searching
1301
01:06:59.949 --> 01:07:01.570
his bag. Every time he wasn't in the room, I'd
1302
01:07:01.610 --> 01:07:03.219
find condoms in it. Why do you have condoms in
1303
01:07:03.239 --> 01:07:06.420
your fucking bag? Like it would just be thing after
1304
01:07:06.519 --> 01:07:09.320
thing after thing. And it was just like, I just,
1305
01:07:09.599 --> 01:07:12.400
couldn't ever feel comfortable in this. Like I was just
1306
01:07:12.619 --> 01:07:16.659
over utilizing my body and sexuality to, in all kinds
1307
01:07:16.699 --> 01:07:19.920
of different ways and things to get him to not
1308
01:07:19.960 --> 01:07:20.579
want to do that.
1309
01:07:21.360 --> 01:07:25.639
Where are you at now with working through the trauma
1310
01:07:25.820 --> 01:07:27.800
of just that whole relationship?
1311
01:07:28.760 --> 01:07:31.510
Well, I think after, I mean, it was, it was,
1312
01:07:32.829 --> 01:07:35.920
it went on for a while. So when I got
1313
01:07:36.019 --> 01:07:38.980
out of it, I went straight to touring and making albums.
1314
01:07:39.039 --> 01:07:41.000
I was not processing it, and I was also taking
1315
01:07:41.179 --> 01:07:44.260
extreme amounts of Ambien. So anytime I felt pain, I
1316
01:07:44.300 --> 01:07:48.219
just took an Ambien. So once I was taking, like,
1317
01:07:48.219 --> 01:07:53.710
16 Ambien a day or more, I just knew I
1318
01:07:53.750 --> 01:07:56.570
was going to die. I felt like it was coming,
1319
01:07:57.130 --> 01:08:00.289
and I didn't really care. I, like, talked to my friends.
1320
01:08:00.369 --> 01:08:02.730
They all were, like, scared and sad, and I was like,
1321
01:08:03.599 --> 01:08:06.119
you guys can go 5150 me, you can put me somewhere,
1322
01:08:06.139 --> 01:08:08.239
you can call somebody and try to get something to happen,
1323
01:08:08.280 --> 01:08:10.860
but I'll just, it's not ever going to be anything
1324
01:08:10.880 --> 01:08:13.960
you have control over stopping. So don't feel guilt over it.
1325
01:08:14.139 --> 01:08:15.659
I just have done everything I want to do in
1326
01:08:15.699 --> 01:08:17.899
life and I'm sad and I did it all and
1327
01:08:17.939 --> 01:08:21.020
I never found a place of happiness and I'm alone
1328
01:08:21.560 --> 01:08:23.909
and I know my dogs will be safe with my assistant.
1329
01:08:24.050 --> 01:08:27.329
And I just was like, okay, if I went to
1330
01:08:27.369 --> 01:08:30.579
sleep and didn't wake up, I wasn't like making plans
1331
01:08:31.090 --> 01:08:33.229
to do it, but I just knew every time I
1332
01:08:33.270 --> 01:08:35.609
had to take more pills to fall asleep that like
1333
01:08:35.710 --> 01:08:38.149
maybe this one more pill will just allow me to
1334
01:08:38.689 --> 01:08:41.489
be put down. And that's when I went to Bali.
1335
01:08:42.470 --> 01:08:45.500
And it took me like two months to stop taking
1336
01:08:45.560 --> 01:08:48.960
all medication. I went to an Ayurvedic Panchakarma, which is
1337
01:08:48.979 --> 01:08:53.819
like 14 days of like intense, basically like Indian medicine.
1338
01:08:54.659 --> 01:08:58.289
So you would be, everything's natural, you grow everything that
1339
01:08:58.310 --> 01:09:01.729
you put on your body, you grow everything that you eat. Um,
1340
01:09:02.109 --> 01:09:07.770
and you're doing Bikram. You're doing, um, like Wim Hof
1341
01:09:07.909 --> 01:09:11.020
ice baths. I was doing Reiki healing, Theta healing, breath work,
1342
01:09:11.069 --> 01:09:13.819
like all of these things for the entire time I
1343
01:09:13.859 --> 01:09:17.449
was gone were just like building, um, myself back into
1344
01:09:17.489 --> 01:09:19.170
a place where I was comfortable and I left and
1345
01:09:19.189 --> 01:09:21.350
I didn't have wigs makeup nothing I was safe to
1346
01:09:21.390 --> 01:09:23.710
walk around there there's not people taking my picture I
1347
01:09:23.750 --> 01:09:25.470
didn't have to worry about leaving the home and having
1348
01:09:25.529 --> 01:09:29.590
some photo altered where I look crazy so I I
1349
01:09:29.729 --> 01:09:31.890
felt free but I would come in the mirror every
1350
01:09:31.909 --> 01:09:34.819
day and be like I'm so ugly like I just
1351
01:09:34.939 --> 01:09:38.279
could not feel pretty until this woman one day my
1352
01:09:38.319 --> 01:09:40.300
Bikram teacher gave me a compliment she's like you're so
1353
01:09:40.340 --> 01:09:42.119
beautiful and I was in my mind I was like
1354
01:09:42.600 --> 01:09:44.680
oh god what does this bitch want And then I
1355
01:09:44.720 --> 01:09:47.140
was like, wait, this isn't a bitch. She gave me
1356
01:09:47.180 --> 01:09:49.479
a compliment. She doesn't want anything from me. I'm not
1357
01:09:49.520 --> 01:09:51.890
in LA and I'm not in the industry. So I
1358
01:09:51.930 --> 01:09:54.970
can receive this as truth. And then I went in
1359
01:09:54.989 --> 01:09:57.569
and I noticed that I had pretty skin. And that
1360
01:09:57.609 --> 01:09:59.970
was the first time that I remember saying something nice
1361
01:10:00.010 --> 01:10:04.979
to myself in 20 years. And from there, I started
1362
01:10:05.029 --> 01:10:07.939
to build a foundation of self-love. And then once you
1363
01:10:07.979 --> 01:10:10.659
have self-love, you can have a bad day, but it's
1364
01:10:10.699 --> 01:10:11.659
never really that bad.
1365
01:10:12.760 --> 01:10:16.770
It's really interesting. As I'm putting all this together and
1366
01:10:16.810 --> 01:10:19.750
listening to your story, like someone always has something to
1367
01:10:19.789 --> 01:10:21.750
say about your body and the way that you look, Aubrey.
1368
01:10:22.390 --> 01:10:27.060
And so there's this fixation. And I remember in the pandemic,
1369
01:10:27.800 --> 01:10:31.979
in August of 2020, daily mail photos of you walking
1370
01:10:32.000 --> 01:10:34.239
your dog in the middle of a global pandemic. And
1371
01:10:34.319 --> 01:10:36.699
people had negative things to say about how you looked.
1372
01:10:37.520 --> 01:10:40.300
What do you remember about the day that those photos
1373
01:10:40.319 --> 01:10:42.039
were taken and the feedback?
1374
01:10:42.300 --> 01:10:45.239
So I was at home. Those photos were like sat
1375
01:10:45.399 --> 01:10:49.420
on for weeks, likely altered because it did not look
1376
01:10:49.460 --> 01:10:52.100
like that. But I was at home and my best
1377
01:10:52.140 --> 01:10:54.640
friend came to my door and she was like panicked.
1378
01:10:55.180 --> 01:10:57.000
And I was like, I was just taking Ambien. I
1379
01:10:57.020 --> 01:10:59.640
don't even know like what I was doing except Ambien.
1380
01:11:00.800 --> 01:11:02.500
And I was like, what's going on? And she's like,
1381
01:11:02.699 --> 01:11:04.439
I opened the door and she's like, wow, they did
1382
01:11:04.460 --> 01:11:06.859
you fucking dirty. And then she had her son with her.
1383
01:11:07.350 --> 01:11:09.229
And her son was like, mom, everyone at my school
1384
01:11:09.250 --> 01:11:11.250
was calling her fat today. And she doesn't even look
1385
01:11:11.270 --> 01:11:12.470
like those photos. And I was like, what are you
1386
01:11:12.489 --> 01:11:15.109
guys talking about? And then she was like, look, there's
1387
01:11:15.130 --> 01:11:18.010
some photos that are released about you and it's bad.
1388
01:11:18.489 --> 01:11:20.470
And I was like, what? And she showed them. I
1389
01:11:20.529 --> 01:11:22.470
think I saw one of them and I threw the
1390
01:11:22.489 --> 01:11:24.670
phone away, called my lawyer. My lawyer's like, take a
1391
01:11:24.689 --> 01:11:27.010
photo in the mirror with your name and date, whatever.
1392
01:11:27.090 --> 01:11:29.529
And I'll get on getting them taken down to prove
1393
01:11:29.560 --> 01:11:31.779
what I really looked like. I was going on Insta
1394
01:11:31.800 --> 01:11:37.409
stories and posting my body, which is just fucking like degrading, frankly. Um,
1395
01:11:37.609 --> 01:11:39.609
but I, I sat with her and her son in
1396
01:11:39.649 --> 01:11:42.350
my living room and I was like, is everyone laughing
1397
01:11:42.390 --> 01:11:45.770
at me? And she was like, yeah. And I was like,
1398
01:11:46.010 --> 01:11:49.850
so like, is Pauly sending it to his friends and
1399
01:11:50.590 --> 01:11:52.949
they're like writing shit on it and sending it as
1400
01:11:52.989 --> 01:11:54.569
like memes? Cause they, him and his friends used to
1401
01:11:54.590 --> 01:11:58.289
do that about ugly people. And I, according to them.
1402
01:11:59.100 --> 01:12:01.739
And I was like, um, are they like passing the
1403
01:12:01.779 --> 01:12:05.869
photos around laughing at me? And she goes 100%. And
1404
01:12:05.909 --> 01:12:09.289
I was like, so like, is Don embarrassed that he
1405
01:12:09.350 --> 01:12:11.229
loved me and that it's like out in the world?
1406
01:12:11.270 --> 01:12:14.630
And she was like, probably. And I was like, so
1407
01:12:14.689 --> 01:12:17.369
like everybody that wants to see me fail, that's like
1408
01:12:17.489 --> 01:12:19.720
been waiting for me to be a fuck up, are
1409
01:12:19.729 --> 01:12:22.000
they laughing at me? And she's like, this is literally
1410
01:12:22.020 --> 01:12:24.939
the best day of their life. And I was like, wow,
1411
01:12:26.239 --> 01:12:30.199
that shit hurt so bad. There was nothing I could do.
1412
01:12:30.760 --> 01:12:32.659
There was like no way to get it down once
1413
01:12:32.699 --> 01:12:36.310
it's everywhere. And, and, and all I was getting was
1414
01:12:36.390 --> 01:12:39.939
just like extremely, the, the, the articles that were like
1415
01:12:39.979 --> 01:12:42.140
coming out were like a photo when I was 17
1416
01:12:42.140 --> 01:12:45.600
and those photos, like nothing in between, no reference. And
1417
01:12:45.659 --> 01:12:47.600
also I did not look like those photos. I don't
1418
01:12:47.640 --> 01:12:50.609
know exactly what the situation was because I never was
1419
01:12:50.649 --> 01:12:53.220
able to reach the photographer or understand any of it.
1420
01:12:53.729 --> 01:12:56.670
But beyond all of that, to me, my first thought
1421
01:12:56.689 --> 01:12:58.510
is like, what does it matter if I looked like that?
1422
01:12:59.899 --> 01:13:00.069
Right.
1423
01:13:00.460 --> 01:13:02.539
What the fuck does it matter? I've never come forward
1424
01:13:02.560 --> 01:13:04.699
and told anybody to fucking starve themselves or be on
1425
01:13:04.739 --> 01:13:06.840
a diet or look like me. I don't even care
1426
01:13:06.880 --> 01:13:10.550
about my looks like that. I would be more mad
1427
01:13:10.729 --> 01:13:13.350
if I came out as a Karen or a racist
1428
01:13:13.399 --> 01:13:16.710
or some wild shit during COVID. That would kill me.
1429
01:13:17.609 --> 01:13:20.529
Fat is nothing to me. Who cares? But it was
1430
01:13:20.590 --> 01:13:23.289
that everybody was associating the way they saw me look
1431
01:13:23.329 --> 01:13:27.630
in those photos to me being a failure. and losing
1432
01:13:27.670 --> 01:13:30.220
it all. Those were the connotations that were being like
1433
01:13:30.340 --> 01:13:33.520
told with those pictures. And then of course, everybody's saying
1434
01:13:33.560 --> 01:13:36.500
you're lying all on your Instagram and this is what
1435
01:13:36.539 --> 01:13:40.239
you really look like. And then, you know, everything happens
1436
01:13:40.260 --> 01:13:41.479
from that. You lose your brand deals.
1437
01:13:42.180 --> 01:13:44.760
That photo, I just remember seeing it and you're right.
1438
01:13:44.779 --> 01:13:47.260
It's like, okay, so what if that really was the photo?
1439
01:13:47.380 --> 01:13:49.260
What if it, but let's pretend it wasn't altered. Like
1440
01:13:50.590 --> 01:13:52.489
So are we making fun of someone because you are
1441
01:13:52.569 --> 01:13:54.250
all saying that she looks overweight?
1442
01:13:54.430 --> 01:13:56.810
I mean, I literally got messages from girls that were like,
1443
01:13:57.010 --> 01:13:58.970
I really do look the way you look in those photos,
1444
01:13:58.989 --> 01:14:01.539
so am I an obese loser too? And I was
1445
01:14:01.560 --> 01:14:05.880
just like, that's when I stopped posting videos on my
1446
01:14:05.920 --> 01:14:09.460
story because I was like, I don't want to get
1447
01:14:09.619 --> 01:14:13.140
into having to pick sides as to whether I look
1448
01:14:13.640 --> 01:14:16.859
good or bad according to the world. Like, I didn't
1449
01:14:16.899 --> 01:14:18.520
want to have to pick sides because then I'm telling
1450
01:14:18.560 --> 01:14:21.430
a narrative to girls that potentially look like that photo,
1451
01:14:21.810 --> 01:14:23.800
that they aren't good enough. And I did not want
1452
01:14:23.810 --> 01:14:25.180
to do that. And I did not want to act
1453
01:14:25.189 --> 01:14:28.239
like I'm trying to disassociate with it so deeply that
1454
01:14:28.260 --> 01:14:29.520
there's something wrong with it.
1455
01:14:30.140 --> 01:14:35.020
What do you hope people take away from this or
1456
01:14:35.060 --> 01:14:39.539
like understand about you? If people have a misunderstanding about you,
1457
01:14:39.579 --> 01:14:42.609
like what would you say to them that you wish
1458
01:14:42.670 --> 01:14:43.670
people understood about you?
1459
01:14:46.930 --> 01:14:49.979
I would say stop, focusing on me and focus on
1460
01:14:50.020 --> 01:14:53.180
yourself because when I judge people and I don't like people,
1461
01:14:53.239 --> 01:14:55.720
it's because I don't like myself. The way you think
1462
01:14:55.779 --> 01:14:58.479
about other people is a representation of you and your
1463
01:14:58.560 --> 01:15:01.409
mind and your place in life. It has nothing to
1464
01:15:01.449 --> 01:15:04.510
do with the other people. And once I learned that
1465
01:15:04.569 --> 01:15:07.689
lesson myself, which I'm extremely guilty of for most of
1466
01:15:07.750 --> 01:15:12.060
my career, once I learned that myself, I give people
1467
01:15:12.720 --> 01:15:16.260
the space and respect to just be who they are
1468
01:15:17.220 --> 01:15:21.119
And I withhold judging them. And I try to find
1469
01:15:21.220 --> 01:15:25.760
empathy and compassion for them. And in doing so, I
1470
01:15:25.840 --> 01:15:30.340
have a happier life. I have more peace. And I
1471
01:15:30.399 --> 01:15:33.600
make other people feel good now instead of feel like shit.
1472
01:15:34.140 --> 01:15:36.659
And everybody had made me feel like shit growing up.
1473
01:15:36.739 --> 01:15:38.439
And then I made people feel like shit once I
1474
01:15:38.479 --> 01:15:41.470
got some power, which is the cycle that most people
1475
01:15:42.310 --> 01:15:44.770
play in this industry. The second you get something, you
1476
01:15:44.789 --> 01:15:46.630
treat other people, you make other people come up the
1477
01:15:46.670 --> 01:15:50.779
way you did. And I try now. And by the way,
1478
01:15:50.840 --> 01:15:52.880
that doesn't mean that I'm going to be without opinion.
1479
01:15:52.899 --> 01:15:55.380
I have opinions about everything and I will let them
1480
01:15:55.420 --> 01:16:00.399
be known. But I'm usually nowadays talking about overall ideas
1481
01:16:00.439 --> 01:16:03.310
of what I'm seeing happen in our society versus like
1482
01:16:03.970 --> 01:16:06.229
hating an individual human, which I don't.
1483
01:16:06.449 --> 01:16:09.130
Yeah. I really appreciate that. And I do feel like
1484
01:16:09.189 --> 01:16:13.470
everything you just said, it has... is shown through this interview,
1485
01:16:13.550 --> 01:16:17.310
the way that you talk about yourself, the, um, insight
1486
01:16:17.369 --> 01:16:21.329
that you have and the ability to hold yourself accountable,
1487
01:16:21.369 --> 01:16:24.510
but also be able to discuss what's happened to you.
1488
01:16:24.890 --> 01:16:27.250
I have a lot of respect for you and I
1489
01:16:27.729 --> 01:16:30.390
can't wait to see what you continue to do. Congrats
1490
01:16:30.430 --> 01:16:32.560
on your music, all the things that you're working on.
1491
01:16:32.810 --> 01:16:33.189
It's really cool.
1492
01:16:34.399 --> 01:16:36.970
That's what I was going to say. Aubrey's on OnlyFans.
1493
01:16:37.029 --> 01:16:40.270
She's thriving. So you definitely should subscribe because you put
1494
01:16:40.289 --> 01:16:41.909
your music video on OnlyFans, right?
1495
01:16:41.930 --> 01:16:43.289
Yeah, you can only see the music. I did a
1496
01:16:43.369 --> 01:16:47.270
fully nude music video for my single. So it's on OnlyFans.
1497
01:16:47.390 --> 01:16:49.069
If you subscribe, you get it for free.
1498
01:16:50.130 --> 01:16:53.029
Aubrey O'Day, thank you so much for coming on Call
1499
01:16:53.050 --> 01:16:53.489
Her Daddy.
1500
01:16:53.529 --> 01:16:53.789
Thank you.
1501
01:16:53.829 --> 01:16:55.810
This is great. You have a great podcast.
1502
01:16:55.829 --> 01:16:56.149
Thank you.
1503
01:16:56.170 --> 01:16:57.729
This is my favorite interview so far.
1504
01:16:58.170 --> 01:16:59.270
Thank you. Thank you.
1505
01:16:59.289 --> 01:16:59.670
You're great.
1506
01:17:02.829 --> 01:17:24.029
Thank you. Good nights are about the people, the laughs,
1507
01:17:24.560 --> 01:17:27.319
the real moments you don't want to miss. So why
1508
01:17:27.380 --> 01:17:32.359
step outside? Velo tobacco-free nicotine pouches fits seamlessly into your night.
1509
01:17:32.600 --> 01:17:37.529
Convenient and full of flavor. No breaks, no interruptions. Velo anytime,
1510
01:17:37.649 --> 01:17:41.529
anywhere nicotine pouches. 18 and over contains tobacco-free nicotine and
1511
01:17:41.569 --> 01:17:43.770
addictive substance. If you're new to Velo, start with Mellow.
1512
01:17:43.829 --> 01:17:45.369
You should not use this product if you do not
1513
01:17:45.470 --> 01:17:46.270
already use nicotine.
1514
01:17:48.630 --> 01:17:51.250
With TUI, there's more choice than you think.
1515
01:17:51.689 --> 01:17:55.050
Beach days or a city break. Weekend in Rome, booked.
1516
01:17:55.510 --> 01:17:58.930
Fly from your local airport, of course. Just a hotel?
1517
01:17:59.310 --> 01:18:00.109
Got them too.
1518
01:18:00.560 --> 01:18:01.300
Number of nights?
1519
01:18:01.659 --> 01:18:02.319
Take your pick.
1520
01:18:02.760 --> 01:18:06.659
Tailor your trip with more options and more choice. TUI.
1521
01:18:10.659 --> 01:18:13.960
Ah, that's the thing about doors. Open one and whole
1522
01:18:14.000 --> 01:18:19.159
new worlds suddenly become possible. If you're searching for your
1523
01:18:19.239 --> 01:18:21.539
new home in Leish, the first thing you need to
1524
01:18:21.640 --> 01:18:26.350
open is MyHome, Ireland's trusted property platform. With custom filters,
1525
01:18:26.529 --> 01:18:29.909
property alerts and a hub of advice available online or
1526
01:18:29.970 --> 01:18:33.170
in app, it's the smart way to buy, sell or
1527
01:18:33.229 --> 01:18:36.569
rent your home. Start searching and find your happy place
1528
01:18:36.850 --> 01:18:37.489
at myhome.ie.