Rico Suave

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Hey, guys, Princess here and welcome to another episode by
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Pumpkin Main Edition Free Edition. Hey, if you're listening to this,
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that means you listen to the free episode every Monday.
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There is now another free episode on Fridays. It's shorter,
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it's anywhere between thirty minutes to an hour, and where
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I just I call it the wrap up and I
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just wrap up the week and things that I saw
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on pop culture and the news and things that I
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want to talk about. It's free, it's on the main
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free feed, but it will have commercials, and if you
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subscribe to bonus episodes like some of you do on
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either on Patreon, through Apple Bonus Plus, whatever the fuck
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they call that over there, you'll get ad free episodes
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like you always do. So something I think about, I'm
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gonna I'm gonna commit to doing this till the end
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of the year and we'll see where it goes from there.
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But yeah, there's a little there's a little extra content
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for you coming out on Fridays, all right, So let's
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get to it. We're on season seven. We're on season one,
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episode seven of My Fair Brady. It's called the episode
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is called Rico Suave which is the most elder millennial
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thing they could name something that I that that reference
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is on the tip of a lot of older It's
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either young gen z or older millennial tongues. And the
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reason is not because any of us were really like conscious,
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like sentient beings when Rico Suave was a thing. Save.
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I guess that's what Rico Suave. That that song that
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I don't ever recall here that on the radio. What
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I do recall is seeing a ton a ton of
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references to it on VH one. When I was a
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younger kid, I did not watch MTV that much. I
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watched reality TV on m TV, but I was never
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looking at videos. I watched VH one and if you
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saw Pop Up Video, which was one of my favorite shows,
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because I just really liked the pop sound they would
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make and the little, the little facts that they would have.
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Rico Suave would be he's only got one song, only
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one song that we all know, and I think it's
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called Rico Suave, and that video would always be on.
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He'd be in Because I want you to think, I
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want you to think about Blossom, Okay, I want you
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to think about that show Blossom. What you can watch
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right now. I think you know you're gonna watch it
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on Peacock maybe, but it's stream. I want you to
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think about Blossom, and I want you to think about
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Joey Lawrence on Blossom. Okay, he would have like a
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flannel shirt of some sort a flannel shirt with a
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T shirt underneath it. He had a lot of hair.
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Who knew that? Who knew who was gonna be a
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Baldi Bald? Well, actually you kind of did, because you
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can't have all that gorgeous hair without being a Baldi
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Bold in the future. It's probably both beautiful as Cynthia Rivo.
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So so why could I say that? So? So uh,
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he had a lot of hair, and he'd have like
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a a shirt with like a with like a flannel
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over it, and then or or he'd wear a flannel
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with the sleeves cut off and it unbutton into like
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his belly button. Right then he have on like jeans,
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but there will be a certain type of wash, okay,
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this is early nineties wash. And then he have on
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like some boots or something. Imagine. So okay, so you
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watch imagine that. Now, put a do rag on him
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and like a curl and then give him let him
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know how to roll his tongue, so his tongue, that
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is what that what he looks like. But here's the thing,
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he only made one song. We were exposed to it.
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If you were a certain type of kit, you were
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exposed to it over and over again through pop up
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video making the behind the music. And I love the
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eighties or I love the nineties cause that might have
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been eighty nine or something like that. I don't fucking know.
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I do not remember. I'm not even eighty five. I
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don't know. But yeah, uh, this is not a reference
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that anybody under the age of forty would make. Of course,
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when this came out it was two thousand and five.
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But still anyway, it's called Rico Suave because they're going
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to Puerto Rico. We opened the episode with him steal
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and Juliet, how long can we be enjoy guys, Julie,
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it's not big enough for three episodes. I the first
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because you know, last time, you know, last time I
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was watching it. It rolled into the next episode and
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when I saw they were Jelia, I was like, no, no, no,
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let's go home. But they do. They're leaving, and Adriane's
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mom is still pissed. He did not make a good impression.
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He's saying goodbye, she's saying whatever. She just like I
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said last time. He thinks he's being cute, but he
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was drunk. And also, Chris, there is no reason for
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you to be this drunk on a trip to see
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Adriane's family. There's no you're there's no reason for me
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this drunk. I know that you guys, they've had you
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drinking from sun up to sundown, but at some point
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you got to ask for water. You just can't. I
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am not a person that's great at drinking. I don't
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drink very often. I I don't know, I'm just not
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I'm just not a drinker like that. And I know
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that if I have two and a half drinks, I'm
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gonna be blackout drunk. Okay, so guess what, I don't
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have two and a half drinks. When I go to
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my workshit and they're like they have drinks, I'm like,
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uh huh, give me a pineapple and sprite, which is
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basically a pineapple Fanta now that sugar rush. Can really
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still have too many of those, because you will feel
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a little woozy. Okay, you might pass out, but it
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will not be from alcohol. But yeah, I don't want
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to drink because I don't want I don't wanna suddenly
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be talking to the guy and I t and telling
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him what I really think about him. I don't want
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to do that. I mean, I guess he probably guess
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what I think about it, but I don't really have
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a poker face. But you know what, not having a
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poker face and having all your feelings on the front
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of your face is very different than you letting that
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shit come out on your arm. So I don't understand
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why he did that, but I mean, he's got a
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ways to go with the mom, And Adrian says, yeah,
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things didn't go well. My mom doesn't really like him,
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but I love him, And I'm like, then, what the
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fuck are we doing here, Adrian? Would you? Why did
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you drag us all the Joel yet so and and
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constantly like I just want my parents to like him.
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My dad, my dad's gonna shoot you. Oh no, oh no,
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hold on, I'm not doing her voice right because she's
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not making her sound like a character for Mama's family
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when I need to uh, when she sounds like Seinfeld.
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Hold on, what's the deal with my Dad's gonna shoot you,
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that's what he sounds like. And then she's like, you know,
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mom and Grandma, I just want you to to look
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and see if he's worth having, because I don't want
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to be with anyone who isn't worth who do who
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you don't like? Well, then they just they don't like him,
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and you said, well I love him. Okay, So the
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thanks for wasting air fare and time. Shit. So they
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got back to La thank god. And Adrian is happy
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because she is happy to spend time alone at home
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with her man. And when they get there, they're in
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the office. She's on the computer. I was like, she
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on face? Is she on Facebook? Is on my Space?
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I don't know. She was looking at all these pics
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and then I thought she was on pez Healton but whatever.
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She's at her laptop. He's answering, he's checking the messaging
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service and uh there's a message from adults. And you
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know what. He is a real estate agent, he's and
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he thinks he's found some good apartments for Adrian to
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look at it. And you know, Chris listens to and
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it's like, wait a second, I want her to stay.
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Of course you do, because she want to go. The
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moment she the moment she start putting shit back in
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the drawers. All of a sudden, you were like, oh,
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maybe you should move out. No, she's like very like
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you know, I I like, he wasn't suposed to leave
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a message. Also, her voice is very baby girl, if
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you if you if like you know the reference. She's
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this very baby girl right now. She's like, yeah, he
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was supposed to leave a message. And then and then
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Chris deletes the message. And she's like, I don't know
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his number and you deleted it. Stop why would you
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do that? And I just just like this is fake
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and she and sh so she you know, they they
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they he he rubs all arms. He's like, you're a captive.
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You're not going anywhere. And she's like, please, I don't
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wanna be wet until I get in a shower. And
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you know what, what is that? So here's the thing
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you guys heard that about. Let me tell you something
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just a little, just a little side here. I I
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live with a great handyman, a man that can do
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m many many things. A man that I found a
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breakfast nook. You know that the thing where you have
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a booth and the and the table that goes in
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like a little nook area. I yeah, I found that
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on Facebook marketplace for fifty bucks. He fixed it up,
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reappoltered it, made it more cushy, gave it a better tabletop.
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He can do shit like that. He is very strong.
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He can. He's he carried our washing machine up three
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flights of stairs. He is just he's just super handy.
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You know what else he is. He's got ADHD so
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many times. We don't know when he's gonna do these things.
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We don't know when he's gonna paint. We don't know
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when he's gonna clean all the carpets in the entire
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house and do it so well that looks like somebody
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paid him to do it. But we don't know when
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he's gonna do it. We don't know. And right now
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my foyer needs to be re painted, and I have
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like a number of things that I want hung up
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in there. But I don't have him hung up. I
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have him leaning against the floor because leaning against the walls,
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because he's gonna repaint it. It's ten o'clock at night.
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That bang you heard is him hanging shit down there. Yeah,
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he he We don't know when he's gonna do stuff,
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the cleaning of the carpets three am m h. Yeah,
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we don't know. It just happens. He will clean the
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kitchen top the bottom, I mean, scrubbing there, if there's
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any grease on the on the on the cabinets, over
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the stole. I mean. And he's good, he's got real,
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he's got his hand strength is out of control. This
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man has big, beefy hands and he can like rip
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things up and punch holes in the wall. I remember
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this one time. We didn't have a hammer, and this
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is when we lived in Queen's. We didn't have a hammer,
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and I wanted to put some pictures up and he
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just hammered the nails into the wall with his fist.
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I'm assuming that this was not very this was a
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soft wall. I don't fucking know. I don't know, and
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I don't know, but he is like he's just a
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large man who does stuff in the middle of the night.
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And oh, I was talking about his handstring. So guess what.
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This motherfucker can clean a pot like nobody's business. I
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will clean the pot. I'll be like, wow, just really
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ugly in this pot. And then he'll be like leave
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it on the counter. I'll take care if it comes back.
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The pots gleaning looks brand fucking new. I don't know
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how he's doing that. He doesn't use any tools, or
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he doesn't use a scrubrush or any of that shit.
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He gets an old school kitchen rag and like some chemicals.
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He loves to mix chemicals. As soon as he's making
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like a a fucking hydrogen hydrogen bomb, that's when that's
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when we know he's got the right materials. And then
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he just did it with his hands. Okay, he cleans
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the floor and the base boards, but we don't know
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who's gonna do it. We don't know. You might wake
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up at five o'clock in the morning he's carpeting the bathroom. Now,
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if I didn't know better, I'd be like, this motherfucker's
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on drugs. Okay, because that's doesn't sound like he tweaking
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a little bit? Does this? Does that that sound like
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like he he took a part. He bought a new
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vacuum cleaner because he didn't like the old vacuum cleaner,
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and then took apart the old vacuum cleaner, fixed it,
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and now we got two vacuum cleaners. Doesn't that sound
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a little tweaky to you? You know, I don't know much,
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but I've seen a few movies, all right. I saw
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black a Black Snake moan, I saw it, all right,
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I don't I don't remember the pulling that movie. But yeah,
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so that's what I'm saying, that pounding. It's ten o'clock
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at night, the children are in bed. He is doing
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something structure downstairs. It's his world. We just all living it.
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We're just all living it. This morning at six am,
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he was making a steak and some eggs. Now, did
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I have some steak and eggs? Yes? I did. That's
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the only reason I got out of bad. But still
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it's just anyway, Sorry, there was a tangent. I just
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want you to know that I live with a person
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that has no problem, that's really good at cleaning, like
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super good at cleaning. He just don't have any like
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business hours. He really cleaned the bathroom yesterday and again
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he's nobody cleans the fucking bathroom like this motherfucker. Nobody
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on his hands and knees. Just like I said, no
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fancy shit. He didn't get no mop off a TikTok.
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You know where he gets his mop from the fucking
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dollar store. He don't want no fancy mop. He don't
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want like that. He's like, take me to the family
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fucking dollar and I'm getting up on my and then
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he mops the fuck out of shit laundry. He's the
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best at laundry, you know when he does it once
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every Blue movie, if he does all the laundry he's
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ever had his entire life, folds it up neatly, replaces,
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like cleans out all his drawers and stuff. But again,
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you don't know he gonna do that. Who knows? Who knows? Anyway,
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what the fuck was I talking about? Oh? The double one, Tandra,
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I don't I don't want to be wet to like
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get in the shower. He's also planning something that he's
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like not really like like he's like Adrian. Adrian can't
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know about this. He's planning something. And she hears that
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and runs back out of the shower and naked and
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straddles him. And they get this from an angle on
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the desk like I'm trying. I'm hard. I'm having a
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hard time believing like that camera. I wonder why that
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can set up like that. This is also the blurring
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that has to be done because later she's topless in
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Puerto Rico. The blurring that has to be done on Adrian,
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I understand that it's She's just one person, so I mean,
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they rarely have the blur of Chris. But it reminds
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me of how MTV said that The Real World Hawaii
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they like blew through their blurring budget, and like the
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00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:27.000
first episode, their whole season blurring budget in the first episode,
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because they're all naked in the nobody had any clothes on.
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And I wonder what the blurring budget was for this
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show and whether they were like, God, damn it, we
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00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:39.799
gotta fire some pas because we can't afford that. The
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00:16:39.919 --> 00:16:43.639
budget is out of control. I wonder if that if
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00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:47.519
everybody had that conversation, like Adrian, you are you, We're
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00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:50.759
over budget? Can you please put some clothes on? I
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00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:54.120
don't know. So the next day he brings her breakfast
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in bed and then surprises her with the trip to
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Puerto Rico. Now, every time they say Puerto Rico in
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this episode, they go I can't even do it, almost
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00:17:04.599 --> 00:17:08.279
like the Rico suave thing. They they they put on
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00:17:08.440 --> 00:17:11.119
like a kind of fake accent and say Puerto Rico
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and if this were torn twenty six, they will get
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00:17:14.680 --> 00:17:19.440
fucking clobbered online clob bird like just some of the stuff.
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They're like, we wanted really authentic Spanish food. Oh not
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those colonizers, Like it's just not how we talk now.
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00:17:31.359 --> 00:17:33.319
But it was really great, and I was like, just
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say Puerto Rico, you know. But I they're not the
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00:17:36.759 --> 00:17:38.839
first and they're not the last to put on to
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Every time they say the words Puerto Rico, they put
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on a weird accent. Adrian doesn't even know what Puerto
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Rico is. And you know what, I'm gonna be real,
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fucking I'm gonna be real with you here. Every now
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00:17:53.799 --> 00:17:56.880
and then I just look at maps, right map of
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the world, and I just I just sort'm like pick
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00:18:01.480 --> 00:18:03.119
a point and then I zoom in on it. This
301
00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:04.839
is like on Google Maps, they zoom in on like
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00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:07.000
look at the cities and look at how things are
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00:18:07.079 --> 00:18:09.279
laid out. I don't know. Sometimes I get bored and
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00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:12.680
like especially if I'm like just hanging out with someone
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00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:15.359
who's not from the US, right, so I love to
306
00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:18.279
be able to be like here, let me talk to
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00:18:18.400 --> 00:18:20.960
me about where you're from, and like I knew this
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00:18:21.039 --> 00:18:28.440
guy from uh his name, He was from a place
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00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:32.440
called Macedonia, and I was like, that doesn't exist, and
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00:18:32.519 --> 00:18:36.960
he's like everyone says that, but what happened is like
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00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:44.480
Yugoslavia like had a revolution and then they, like the
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00:18:44.680 --> 00:18:47.799
different parts that came out of it, renamed himself. Hold on,
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00:18:48.920 --> 00:18:56.200
let me reade. Yeah, it's look at Macedonia. And I
314
00:18:56.720 --> 00:19:00.720
was like, Macedonia. So they named themselves Macedonia. Okay, I
315
00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:02.920
mean every country named it, so that I don't mean
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00:19:02.960 --> 00:19:04.400
to apply that they don't have a right to think.
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00:19:04.599 --> 00:19:06.920
But like, so he was telling me he was from there,
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and I was like, I've never even heard. So we
319
00:19:10.039 --> 00:19:12.319
we would get I was a hostess and he and
320
00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:15.480
he was a buster. So I get on the hosts
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00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:17.960
computer and I zoom in on and I'd be like,
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00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:20.039
look at this, what's this city like? And you tell me,
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I'm like like this border song? So okay, alright, alright.
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So I could be a little of a weirdough, but
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I love to do stuff like that of places that
326
00:19:27.920 --> 00:19:30.880
I would have no reason to know anything about. Why
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00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:34.599
did I zoom in on the fucking Philippines? And the
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00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:40.200
Philippines was not where the fuck I was like the
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00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:42.400
Philippines can't be here, And now I think about I
330
00:19:42.440 --> 00:19:44.240
can't even remember whe the fucking Philippines is, but I
331
00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:46.359
remember that when I went over to the Philippines and
332
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I was and I was like zooming in and like
333
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trying to check out the lay of the lane over there,
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I was like, this is not where this If they
335
00:19:53.799 --> 00:19:55.920
would have got me on the street were like, where's Philippines,
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I would have failed that one. Because so Adrian, I
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00:20:01.039 --> 00:20:03.119
want to be bad at Adrian. I know Puerto Rico is,
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I really do. But also you know, if this abilities
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00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:15.880
out of the same, actually it's even worse. I wouldn't
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00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:16.839
have told you I didn't know where it was. I
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00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:18.680
would have told you confidently I know where it was,
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00:20:18.759 --> 00:20:26.000
and that would not be true. But I love you.
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If you have a just look at some areas of
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the world, and you know, obviously the way the the
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00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:38.680
globe the world map is depicted is based on who
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00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:41.839
on who is showing you the map, Like if you're
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00:20:41.880 --> 00:20:44.440
looking at that map from an Asian country, it looks
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completely fucking different. And also not everything's to scale. I
349
00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:51.000
mean on Google Maps, I guess they're trying they're gonna
350
00:20:51.000 --> 00:20:52.519
tell you it's to scale, but if you're looking at
351
00:20:52.519 --> 00:20:55.000
a paper global map or a globe, it's not to
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00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:58.000
scale because they're trying to show you the parts that
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you think are most important. And yeah, I just if
354
00:21:03.319 --> 00:21:11.640
you get it's really interesting anyway. Anyway, anyway, so you know,
355
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he also brings to her a travel guy two thousand five, Right,
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00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:20.319
So they've got a Puerto Rico travel guy, and she's
357
00:21:20.359 --> 00:21:21.839
just looking through and she's looking at the picture and
358
00:21:21.880 --> 00:21:26.319
she's like, Oh wow, we're gonna go horksback riding. Oh wow,
359
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:29.640
we're gonna go to the beach or something. Oh wow,
360
00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:31.799
we're gonna get married cause it's a picture of it.
361
00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:34.720
The thing about Adrian that really fucking pissed me off,
362
00:21:36.119 --> 00:21:38.720
and we'll talk more about this later, is that this
363
00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:43.039
is not a joke anymore. This is like it's almost
364
00:21:43.079 --> 00:21:46.039
like bullying. And I like, I don't mean that literally,
365
00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:52.519
but I it feels like it's something that's not I
366
00:21:52.759 --> 00:21:57.279
just don't understand why you have to bring this up
367
00:21:57.279 --> 00:22:00.960
every ten seconds. And if it were me, it would
368
00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:03.519
immediately make me not want to marry her. It might
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00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:05.519
make me not want to be in a relationship with her,
370
00:22:05.720 --> 00:22:09.319
because this is desperate. And also, let's talk about something else.
371
00:22:09.400 --> 00:22:15.400
We've had the conversation. Let's talk about something else. And
372
00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:19.599
like I grew up in a family that hated you.
373
00:22:19.759 --> 00:22:22.079
They made fun of you, even if you didn't like it.
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00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:26.799
They made fun of you, and they and they decided
375
00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:28.559
when they were done making fun of you, and then
376
00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:30.440
we'd all turn on somebody else and we all make
377
00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:32.319
fun of them til they were on the verge of
378
00:22:32.359 --> 00:22:34.920
fucking tears. And this is what this reminds me of.
379
00:22:35.079 --> 00:22:37.000
Not that I think Adrianne really has a power and
380
00:22:37.079 --> 00:22:40.839
bounce to bully Christopher Knight. I do think that, like
381
00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:47.799
it's a dead horse, let it rest. But she and
382
00:22:47.920 --> 00:22:51.200
I feel like she thinks it's cute, but it's it's not.
383
00:22:51.720 --> 00:22:54.440
It's not at all. And even if she's not asking
384
00:22:54.559 --> 00:22:58.640
me to marry her, I absolutely feel like I'm tired
385
00:22:58.680 --> 00:23:01.319
of hearing this, you know. And I'm also like, how
386
00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:04.400
once you ask him, then not that you should if
387
00:23:04.440 --> 00:23:07.359
you ever in your life hear about me trying to
388
00:23:07.400 --> 00:23:12.319
propose to a man, and this patriarchal society and which
389
00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:15.839
men tend to make more money, tend to have more power,
390
00:23:16.519 --> 00:23:19.519
tend to have less task assigned to them. And if
391
00:23:19.559 --> 00:23:24.039
you ever catch me on a knee trying to propose
392
00:23:24.119 --> 00:23:26.359
to some man, I want you to take me out
393
00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:31.559
with a fucking sniper. You you are allowed to position
394
00:23:31.680 --> 00:23:34.240
somebody on a roof and just put me on my misery.
395
00:23:35.079 --> 00:23:37.240
If that's not possible, because I know budget can be
396
00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:41.559
a constraint, I want you to just run and tackle me.
397
00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:46.039
Just tackle me, throw your whole body weight onto my neck.
398
00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:50.799
If it snaps, so bit, okay, but just tackle me.
399
00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:54.119
Kick that ring out of my fucking hand, all right,
400
00:23:54.680 --> 00:23:57.880
that's what you need to do. Costs, swap me, swap me,
401
00:23:57.960 --> 00:24:04.839
call a fake fig that again, do something, but stop me,
402
00:24:05.359 --> 00:24:08.640
stop me. But that said, at this point, Adrian, you've
403
00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:11.920
been pushing this so much, you might as well get
404
00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:16.640
desperate and go ahead and fucking scam anyway, So they
405
00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:19.759
packing go. Adrian's hoping for rest and a lot of sex,
406
00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:24.319
as she always is. But I think this is appropriate.
407
00:24:24.599 --> 00:24:29.319
I think this is appropriate. I think I think, you know,
408
00:24:29.680 --> 00:24:31.480
go on vacation to rest and have a lot of sex.
409
00:24:31.559 --> 00:24:34.279
You know. They getting their limo of course to the
410
00:24:34.319 --> 00:24:37.720
airport and continue saying Puerto Rico with that accent. They
411
00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:40.920
make it there and have a suite that Chris is like,
412
00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:45.599
first of all, they name drop every restaurant and every
413
00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:49.359
hotel and every excursion they go on. And I'm like, okay,
414
00:24:50.599 --> 00:24:54.119
so we have either gotten these things for free or
415
00:24:54.200 --> 00:24:58.440
for the lo lo lo lo low price. Right you
416
00:24:58.799 --> 00:25:00.400
you sit, you hear them drop a name and then
417
00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:07.119
see a beauty shot of the hotel. E. The concessions
418
00:25:07.160 --> 00:25:09.720
have been made, trades have been made here, baby. So
419
00:25:10.039 --> 00:25:13.160
Chris is like, I've arranged a sweet and the sweet
420
00:25:13.240 --> 00:25:14.960
is bigger than my house. I'm like, one, I know
421
00:25:15.039 --> 00:25:17.880
you didn't arrange that sweet. Production did because why are you?
422
00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:20.319
How are you arranging sweets that are bigger than your home?
423
00:25:21.160 --> 00:25:27.920
M Does that make financial sense? Doesn't Anyway, they're in
424
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:33.480
there and Adrian comes out in like a string bikini
425
00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:37.319
that's like see through once it's wet, and Chris says
426
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:41.200
that works in a tone in a way that finally
427
00:25:41.240 --> 00:25:45.119
got me to believe they have sex. And I just
428
00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:48.119
don't think they have as much sex as Adrine would
429
00:25:48.279 --> 00:25:51.200
like because I think, like I said, I told you,
430
00:25:51.480 --> 00:25:53.599
it's not that she's male center. It's that her entire
431
00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:58.880
life has been in response and in hopes of capturing
432
00:25:58.920 --> 00:26:02.279
the male gaze. I've talked about this in many episodes
433
00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:06.359
go back. I've talked about it. It's not that Adrianne
434
00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:09.279
feels a lot of power from being sexy and from
435
00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:13.359
being like very direct about sex. Nothing wrong with that, obviously,
436
00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:15.640
that is some people. Some people do feel that way.
437
00:26:16.039 --> 00:26:20.319
But I don't think Adrian's having good sex. I think
438
00:26:20.559 --> 00:26:24.319
Adrian is having sex. But I think that if we
439
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:31.160
talk to Adrian today, being a woman in her forties
440
00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:33.720
at this point, I think that she has a better
441
00:26:33.880 --> 00:26:38.160
understanding of her sexuality, of her body, and she probably
442
00:26:38.519 --> 00:26:41.359
is having better sex. Now. I will say this, I've
443
00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:43.079
had a lot of sex, right I've had a lot
444
00:26:43.119 --> 00:26:46.119
of sex. I was sexualized early. I don't believe in
445
00:26:46.200 --> 00:26:48.200
getting to know people. I think you should have sex
446
00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:50.880
with them right away because I'm not gonna learn childhood
447
00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:55.240
dog's name, and we don't have sexual chemistry. I have
448
00:26:55.400 --> 00:26:57.279
had plenty and plenty of sex I've had. I fucked
449
00:26:57.319 --> 00:27:00.279
everybody that was that wanted to fuck me right so,
450
00:27:01.039 --> 00:27:02.960
and I will say that the sex I was having
451
00:27:03.799 --> 00:27:07.720
at twenty and twenty two is nowhere near as good
452
00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:09.680
as the sex I have in my forties, and it
453
00:27:10.279 --> 00:27:12.240
has less to do with who I'm having sex with
454
00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:14.839
and more to do with me and more to do
455
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:17.920
with my understanding of what my sexuality is. And again
456
00:27:18.440 --> 00:27:21.599
this is not something that I necessarily came upon until
457
00:27:21.759 --> 00:27:25.640
probably my thirties. Is the realization that I want things
458
00:27:25.720 --> 00:27:27.960
to feel better than they look. I do not care
459
00:27:28.039 --> 00:27:31.160
how things look. How does it feel? I do not like, Sure,
460
00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:32.400
I want to look nice in my clothes, but I
461
00:27:32.799 --> 00:27:36.240
feel good in my clothes right when I am having sex,
462
00:27:36.359 --> 00:27:39.400
I do not care what it looks like. I care
463
00:27:39.480 --> 00:27:41.519
what it feels like. And if you were asking in
464
00:27:41.599 --> 00:27:44.480
my twenties, I was doing a lot of performance as well,
465
00:27:45.079 --> 00:27:47.880
which is fine. I mean, sometimes you want to perform
466
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:51.759
for your sexual partner, but my pleasure is more important
467
00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:54.559
to me. And I just feel like I do believe
468
00:27:54.599 --> 00:27:57.119
they have sex, right, I just do not believe they
469
00:27:57.160 --> 00:28:00.079
have sex as much as Adriana would like to. And
470
00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:04.119
I also don't believe they're having good sex, at least
471
00:28:04.279 --> 00:28:07.279
not for adrian And I think at the time, if
472
00:28:07.319 --> 00:28:08.920
I asked her that, I think she'd be like, the
473
00:28:09.039 --> 00:28:12.519
sex is amazing, we have great chemistry. This is the
474
00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:15.720
best sex I've ever had. And when she's her twenties
475
00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:20.480
and twenty years later she's in her forties. She I
476
00:28:20.599 --> 00:28:22.119
have a feeling she might be like I did not
477
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:25.559
have an orgasm for three years. I have a feeling
478
00:28:25.599 --> 00:28:27.960
she would say something like that. And she is very
479
00:28:28.119 --> 00:28:33.559
sexy and I and this is one of the reasons
480
00:28:33.599 --> 00:28:36.640
why I'm like, like, I know you're desperate to get married.
481
00:28:36.839 --> 00:28:39.759
I guess maybe ask him, but like, also you, he
482
00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:42.440
is not the prize in this fucking relationship. I hope
483
00:28:42.480 --> 00:28:45.400
you know that he's not the prize. Nobody sees the
484
00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:49.079
two of you holding hands walking down the street and goes, wow,
485
00:28:49.480 --> 00:28:51.680
I can't believe she got him. No one says that.
486
00:28:53.160 --> 00:28:55.680
No one fucking says that. The first thing they say
487
00:28:55.759 --> 00:28:57.920
is look at that man with his daughter. And the
488
00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:01.559
second thing they say is, damn, he must have like
489
00:29:01.720 --> 00:29:03.839
rich or he must be able. He must have something
490
00:29:03.960 --> 00:29:07.680
to have gotten her, And that makes you the prize.
491
00:29:08.119 --> 00:29:11.839
And get your running around here like like I don't know,
492
00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:13.960
we've run around here like it's a giant calaw machine.
493
00:29:13.960 --> 00:29:17.319
You're desperate to bag of Brady. You gotta stop shit
494
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:22.960
anyway they you know, she rubs her ass, it's all
495
00:29:23.039 --> 00:29:25.000
over him, and and at some point he goes, do
496
00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:26.519
you have a rap? I said, thing, you have to
497
00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:28.480
wear a rap down there and say, oh, there is,
498
00:29:28.720 --> 00:29:34.119
there's Daddy, there's Grandpa. There it is. They go get
499
00:29:34.160 --> 00:29:37.920
on a seventy foot yacht, which is also a name check,
500
00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:41.200
so again also probably free, and this too is bigger
501
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:43.759
than their house houses and most houses. And I'm like,
502
00:29:43.839 --> 00:29:46.119
oh right, and that's how I know you didn't rent it. Now.
503
00:29:46.599 --> 00:29:49.160
To be fair, it looks dated. But the other thing
504
00:29:49.319 --> 00:29:51.279
is I'm looking at something in two thousand and five,
505
00:29:51.279 --> 00:29:55.240
I'm looking at it twenty one years later. Also, I'm
506
00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:57.559
gonna be real, most boats look dated to me. In
507
00:29:57.839 --> 00:30:00.480
the interior boats look dated to me. I just I
508
00:30:00.599 --> 00:30:04.119
think it's because they try to stay on nautical theme
509
00:30:06.079 --> 00:30:09.359
and so nautical stuff looks dated to me, you know. So,
510
00:30:10.799 --> 00:30:14.480
But fine, they said it's worth four million dollars sure
511
00:30:14.680 --> 00:30:18.200
and free ninety nine to rent it today for this show,
512
00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:22.680
Adrian takes off her top and they go snorkeling and
513
00:30:22.759 --> 00:30:26.599
they see a sting rain and Chris pushes her butt
514
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:31.960
and they go to a little beach and have lunch
515
00:30:32.279 --> 00:30:36.200
and a drink from a coconut in the At the
516
00:30:36.279 --> 00:30:39.200
end of every show, there's like a I'm not an interstitial,
517
00:30:39.240 --> 00:30:41.799
but there's like a little there's a little scene that
518
00:30:41.880 --> 00:30:46.000
goes over the credits and the credit scene and they're
519
00:30:46.079 --> 00:30:49.319
getting eaten the fuck up by mosquitos. And here's the thing.
520
00:30:49.960 --> 00:30:52.400
Adrian's slapping herself. She's like, oh my god, oh my god.
521
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:54.519
And Chris is trying to convince her it's not mosquitos.
522
00:30:55.720 --> 00:30:58.839
She slaps a mosquito and there's blood in her hand.
523
00:30:58.920 --> 00:31:01.359
She's like, so it's not mosquito. And he's like, eh,
524
00:31:02.079 --> 00:31:08.319
like believe women. Okay, I would they live it if
525
00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:10.960
I were like being eaten up the mosquitos and this
526
00:31:11.079 --> 00:31:13.359
man was trying to convince me there are no mosquitos.
527
00:31:13.400 --> 00:31:23.119
Are you fucking crazy? Okay? So you know they do that. There'sn't.
528
00:31:24.319 --> 00:31:26.359
Adrian calls it the most beautiful day of her life.
529
00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:28.920
I will say this, I noticed a bikini change. I
530
00:31:29.000 --> 00:31:32.119
was like, what happened there? Did she change bikinis? Or
531
00:31:32.200 --> 00:31:36.079
is this like spliced together? I don't know. It could
532
00:31:36.119 --> 00:31:40.960
be either. So after they go to the blue So
533
00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:43.279
here's the thing. In two thousand and five, when we're
534
00:31:43.319 --> 00:31:47.880
watching reality TV, not I would say most of the
535
00:31:47.960 --> 00:31:50.519
audience is not that savvy about reality TV. You know what,
536
00:31:50.640 --> 00:31:52.359
you'd be surprised to how much of the audience is
537
00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:55.160
not that savvy in twenty twenty six either. Again, we're
538
00:31:55.200 --> 00:31:58.400
all on the internet talking to each other, and that
539
00:31:58.720 --> 00:32:03.880
already makes us more than average fans. Many many, many, many,
540
00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:06.799
many many people who watch these shows are not do
541
00:32:06.960 --> 00:32:09.079
not get on the internet and talk about them, and they,
542
00:32:09.279 --> 00:32:13.000
honest to god, think it's exactly what you see. But
543
00:32:13.119 --> 00:32:16.160
that said, in this era of reality TV, they spice
544
00:32:16.200 --> 00:32:22.519
together things like crazy. They will do adr on a scene.
545
00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:27.319
They will take the audio from one scene and just
546
00:32:27.480 --> 00:32:30.480
play it over again at the end, like they do
547
00:32:30.599 --> 00:32:33.799
all kinds of things that today I'm not saying they
548
00:32:33.839 --> 00:32:35.960
don't do, but when they do, we call them out
549
00:32:35.960 --> 00:32:38.799
a lot harder and a lot faster. And especially if
550
00:32:38.799 --> 00:32:41.200
we're talking like a housewife show or a summer house
551
00:32:41.319 --> 00:32:45.559
or something like that, people will find out where you were.
552
00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:48.200
People there will be people that were there where you
553
00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:52.640
were filming, and they will get on threads or TikTok
554
00:32:53.039 --> 00:32:55.559
and make a fucking video about how they saw you.
555
00:32:56.519 --> 00:33:00.519
And it was obviously three days after and you guys
556
00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:02.799
were talking about how you had to reshoot blah, blah blah.
557
00:33:03.160 --> 00:33:07.279
It's just so much harder to get that under people's
558
00:33:07.319 --> 00:33:09.359
noses just because of the age that we're in now.
559
00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:12.720
But back then it will make It would be perfectly
560
00:33:12.799 --> 00:33:15.240
fine for the the splice together three days and pretend
561
00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:18.359
like it was one day. So after that they go
562
00:33:18.440 --> 00:33:21.839
to the Blue Parrot because they said it's authentic and Spanish,
563
00:33:21.880 --> 00:33:24.759
and they eat. Chris is thinking about going salt to
564
00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:28.519
dancing and Adrian's thinking about fucking. They talk about, how
565
00:33:29.400 --> 00:33:31.400
do you want to do some role playing? She left
566
00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:34.960
her schoolgirl outfitted at home, He left his Dean outfitted
567
00:33:34.960 --> 00:33:38.559
at home. What's a Dean outfit? Blazer? What is that?
568
00:33:39.160 --> 00:33:46.559
And or they could play prostitute in Businessman And I
569
00:33:46.759 --> 00:33:50.039
was like, why are we playing prostitute in John or
570
00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:53.200
businessman and business woman because we both business people in here.
571
00:33:53.720 --> 00:33:55.240
Like if you don't think, if you don't think that
572
00:33:55.359 --> 00:34:00.200
prostitute is a business woman, you you think again. But yeah, yeah,
573
00:34:00.200 --> 00:34:03.920
that's what they want to do, like and she said,
574
00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:10.719
sleazy businessmans. They're getting along right now. They're really getting
575
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:13.239
along in a way that prior to going to Juliet,
576
00:34:13.239 --> 00:34:16.480
they were arguing quite a bit, and you know, everyone's
577
00:34:16.559 --> 00:34:20.760
really happy about the fact that they're like connecting to
578
00:34:20.880 --> 00:34:24.880
each other. Adrian says, let's make a pact that we'll
579
00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:26.840
never argue like we used to argue. Adrian, why are
580
00:34:26.840 --> 00:34:28.960
you bringing that up? Why the fuck you bringing up
581
00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:31.920
old shit if we're not arguing now, why would you
582
00:34:32.079 --> 00:34:38.400
bring up old shit about when we're arguing. There's a
583
00:34:38.519 --> 00:34:42.440
TikToker that I don't necessarily love. But she talks about
584
00:34:43.159 --> 00:34:50.559
healing from avoidant attachment, and she talks about dating stuff, right,
585
00:34:50.599 --> 00:34:53.400
so I see her a little bit. She says something
586
00:34:53.480 --> 00:34:57.360
about how a lot of times, as women, we will
587
00:34:57.400 --> 00:35:02.599
try to have therapy conversations right with instead of like
588
00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:05.400
enjoying our time with the person, we'll try to have
589
00:35:05.519 --> 00:35:08.840
therapy and therapy conversations are great in therapy. Right. By
590
00:35:08.840 --> 00:35:11.320
the way, I went to therapy today, So anytime I
591
00:35:11.400 --> 00:35:13.039
go to therapy, prepare for me to be a fucking
592
00:35:13.159 --> 00:35:16.719
menace as I run through the world, terrorizing everybody as
593
00:35:16.719 --> 00:35:18.360
I try to deal with my big feelings that my
594
00:35:18.440 --> 00:35:21.079
therapist yanked out of me that day, Like why the
595
00:35:21.119 --> 00:35:24.159
fuck are we talking about this as I'm crying? And
596
00:35:24.239 --> 00:35:26.559
I also tell you, my therapist has a cat. I
597
00:35:26.599 --> 00:35:27.760
don't know if I told you guys, I know, I
598
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:30.280
rod he on threads. My therapist has a cat. It's
599
00:35:30.280 --> 00:35:34.280
a white cat. The fucking cat. Every time I'm crying
600
00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:38.360
about my childhood, trauma just shows up on the screen,
601
00:35:39.440 --> 00:35:43.480
walks by with the most bored fucking look on space
602
00:35:43.679 --> 00:35:48.480
like wow, Wow, bitch, we all got problems. And then
603
00:35:49.199 --> 00:35:52.000
like sometimes I'll be like my therapist is like, Okay, so, prinstance,
604
00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:54.239
let's work on this for this week, blah blah blah,
605
00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:55.400
and I'll be like, yeah, I'm gonna do that. I'm
606
00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:57.920
gonna feel feelings. I am I I can feel the
607
00:35:57.920 --> 00:35:59.920
feelings now and they're gonna come out, and I'm feeling,
608
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:01.960
and I'm gonna name I'm tag him, and I'm a feeling.
609
00:36:02.079 --> 00:36:04.760
I'm gonna be like a zoologist with the feelings and
610
00:36:06.960 --> 00:36:09.440
and and you know how you say, let the feeling,
611
00:36:09.639 --> 00:36:11.840
feel the feeling and let it go exactly, I'm aa
612
00:36:11.840 --> 00:36:13.960
bag and tag it and release it back into the wild,
613
00:36:14.159 --> 00:36:16.079
all right. And then the next time I see it,
614
00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:17.679
I'll be like, it's not a little tagging. It is
615
00:36:17.719 --> 00:36:20.639
that the duck I got in anyway, I'll be talking.
616
00:36:21.559 --> 00:36:23.000
We'll be like, yeah, I'm definitely gonna do this. I'm
617
00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:25.400
definitely gonna do this acceptance that I'll be accepting things
618
00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:28.480
all week, just so you know, and the that fucking
619
00:36:28.559 --> 00:36:30.519
cat will be on her shoulder and be looking at
620
00:36:30.559 --> 00:36:33.719
me like, no, you ain't, No, you ain't. Why are
621
00:36:33.719 --> 00:36:35.559
you lying? Why you waste see your cope right now?
622
00:36:36.280 --> 00:36:38.519
Why you wanna tell a lie? We know you ain't
623
00:36:38.519 --> 00:36:40.280
gonna do it. Me and her talk about it afterwards.
624
00:36:41.039 --> 00:36:44.840
We know you ain't gonna do it. You only lie
625
00:36:44.920 --> 00:36:49.719
to yourself because we got your number. Like I posed
626
00:36:49.719 --> 00:36:51.199
about all the threads and people were like, I would
627
00:36:51.239 --> 00:36:54.159
love to see a cat and there of course, of course,
628
00:36:55.800 --> 00:36:58.199
never posed about a fucking cat on the internet or dog,
629
00:36:58.800 --> 00:37:02.480
never post about a catera dog on the internet ever, ever, ever,
630
00:37:03.360 --> 00:37:09.559
So but yeah, so what was I saying? Oh, therapy conversations.
631
00:37:10.039 --> 00:37:12.840
And although I don't like agree with everything that woman says,
632
00:37:12.880 --> 00:37:16.199
like I really do, people who talk about how to date,
633
00:37:18.079 --> 00:37:19.840
I just want to be clear that most people don't
634
00:37:19.840 --> 00:37:22.280
know what the fuck they're talking about. And also people
635
00:37:22.280 --> 00:37:25.559
who are in relationships, even long term fulfilling relationships, don't
636
00:37:25.559 --> 00:37:29.599
know how they gott in that relationship. They they'll, they'll,
637
00:37:29.639 --> 00:37:33.000
you'll ask them and they'll be like, uh uh, like
638
00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:35.519
it says, say you ask me, You're like, princess, how
639
00:37:35.559 --> 00:37:39.000
do you how do you find a long term fulfilling relationship? Well,
640
00:37:39.039 --> 00:37:41.119
I was a bartender and you should date all you like, Like,
641
00:37:41.599 --> 00:37:43.920
I don't fucking know. I know what I did, but
642
00:37:43.960 --> 00:37:49.079
I don't fucking know, Like there is no secret people.
643
00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:51.760
You connect to people, and sometimes it works out and
644
00:37:51.800 --> 00:37:53.800
sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's great for what it is,
645
00:37:53.840 --> 00:37:56.039
and then you move on to the next thing. Sometimes
646
00:37:56.119 --> 00:37:58.079
it's you learn a lesson and you move on to
647
00:37:58.159 --> 00:38:01.119
the next thing. But like, how a fucking and so
648
00:38:01.360 --> 00:38:07.920
whenever someone's like sometimes I think people with therapy or psychology,
649
00:38:08.039 --> 00:38:11.559
people who have who have like had some education in
650
00:38:11.639 --> 00:38:15.199
the way sociologists sociologists, people who kind of understand why
651
00:38:15.280 --> 00:38:17.400
humans work, or the way the human mind works, or
652
00:38:18.000 --> 00:38:19.800
the way human emotions work. I think they have some
653
00:38:19.960 --> 00:38:22.880
like some smart things to say. But for the most part,
654
00:38:22.920 --> 00:38:25.800
anybody that's like, like, I'm a dating coach, I kind
655
00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:30.039
of want to be like, okay, so that's a scam anyway,
656
00:38:30.119 --> 00:38:32.360
So I don't really like she comes up quite a
657
00:38:32.360 --> 00:38:34.559
bit for me, but I don't necessarily like watch her
658
00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:37.039
her videos. But there's something she says that like I
659
00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:42.199
have incorporated in my life, especially with my husband, because
660
00:38:42.639 --> 00:38:45.840
anytime we would go somewhere and would just be me
661
00:38:45.880 --> 00:38:48.440
and him, when we're having we're eating or couch shopping,
662
00:38:48.519 --> 00:38:50.159
and then we're going so and so and we're doing
663
00:38:50.239 --> 00:38:53.519
this together, we're driving in the car, I would be like, oh, great,
664
00:38:53.599 --> 00:38:58.000
we're alone. Let me initiate this deep fucking conversation. And
665
00:38:59.480 --> 00:39:00.880
I was our to get to the point of, like,
666
00:39:00.920 --> 00:39:03.159
stop fucking doing that, because it just makes him uncomfortable.
667
00:39:03.639 --> 00:39:06.800
He's not a person that accesses emotions very easily. He
668
00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:09.159
definitely needs a lot of time to think about things
669
00:39:10.480 --> 00:39:14.159
and so, and it just made all that those times
670
00:39:14.280 --> 00:39:19.159
really awkward, Like and what was I I'm gonna talk
671
00:39:19.159 --> 00:39:22.800
about this when I talk about Southern hospitality this week
672
00:39:22.840 --> 00:39:26.480
on the Bonus episode. A lot of the energy I
673
00:39:26.599 --> 00:39:30.000
was putting into like trying to have those conversations I
674
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:36.679
should have been putting into myself in general, especially if
675
00:39:36.719 --> 00:39:39.679
you're a fixer, especially if you're somebody who's an overthinker.
676
00:39:39.760 --> 00:39:42.920
We spend a lot of time putting energy into making
677
00:39:43.039 --> 00:39:45.440
people be what we want them to be instead of
678
00:39:45.519 --> 00:39:49.440
making ourselves what we want to be. And sometimes when
679
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:52.800
you're trying to push somebody real fucking hard, if you
680
00:39:52.920 --> 00:39:55.280
deconstruct that, if you sit back and you unpacked, why
681
00:39:55.320 --> 00:39:58.239
the fuck you want that so badly? You'll find something
682
00:39:58.360 --> 00:40:00.360
inside of you that you should be working on instead,
683
00:40:00.880 --> 00:40:03.440
and the energy should be poured into you. Let them
684
00:40:03.480 --> 00:40:07.880
be who they are, except who they are. But again
685
00:40:08.280 --> 00:40:14.000
initiating these fucking therapy conversations, and I stopped. I mean,
686
00:40:14.039 --> 00:40:15.960
I'm not saying I'm immune to it now, but I stopped.
687
00:40:16.599 --> 00:40:20.920
And you know, sometimes we like being We don't get
688
00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:22.679
a ton of alone time. We get a lot of
689
00:40:23.079 --> 00:40:24.639
like at night and in the mornings and stuff. We
690
00:40:24.719 --> 00:40:26.320
get a lot of cuddle time, we get alone time,
691
00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:28.599
but we don't get a lot of, like waking days
692
00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:31.039
just me and him. And for ten years it was
693
00:40:31.119 --> 00:40:33.000
just me and him. It was just me and him,
694
00:40:33.119 --> 00:40:36.679
riding going to Domino's, looking at fish, going to the
695
00:40:36.719 --> 00:40:40.159
fish store he he knows fish tanks, going to midnight movies.
696
00:40:40.239 --> 00:40:42.559
It was just me and him chilling. It was always
697
00:40:42.639 --> 00:40:45.119
me and him chilling. And so we don't always have
698
00:40:45.199 --> 00:40:47.119
a just me and him chilling moment. And why do
699
00:40:47.239 --> 00:40:49.280
I want to ruin that by bringing up some shit
700
00:40:49.400 --> 00:40:53.800
from couple's therapy. Why would I do that? Instead, I
701
00:40:53.920 --> 00:40:58.360
just enjoy him, he enjoys me. We talk about fish tanks,
702
00:40:58.519 --> 00:41:01.559
we tell each other jokes, we show each other's tiktoks,
703
00:41:02.760 --> 00:41:04.280
you know. Every now and then. We talked about the kids,
704
00:41:04.320 --> 00:41:11.239
but rarely, and we're just chilling the and those times
705
00:41:11.360 --> 00:41:15.679
are actually better now. I was like trying to get something.
706
00:41:15.880 --> 00:41:18.679
I don't know why. And so when Adrianne is sitting
707
00:41:18.719 --> 00:41:20.559
there and she's like, I'm gonna bring up this, I'm like, girl,
708
00:41:22.239 --> 00:41:26.039
just enjoy fucking Puerto Rico. Don't bring up that. You
709
00:41:26.119 --> 00:41:27.960
guys have been fighting, and they do end up having
710
00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:31.079
a deeper conversation. Adrian says, I think things have been better.
711
00:41:31.159 --> 00:41:33.039
I've been trying. Do you do you see that I've
712
00:41:33.079 --> 00:41:35.280
been trying. And it's like she wants approval so bad
713
00:41:35.320 --> 00:41:40.079
from him. It's he withholds approval from her quite a bit,
714
00:41:42.159 --> 00:41:44.679
and I don't even know that he knows he's doing that.
715
00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:48.239
That's he's making her like work for his fucking approval,
716
00:41:48.679 --> 00:41:51.960
but that's what she wants. And he says that. We
717
00:41:52.039 --> 00:41:53.840
don't hear the rest of the conversation. But he says,
718
00:41:54.119 --> 00:41:57.880
we have some deep conversations about what she wants, it needs,
719
00:41:57.920 --> 00:42:00.760
And I'm like, this is not possible that you had
720
00:42:00.880 --> 00:42:03.519
that You had the first conversation about that. Today, you
721
00:42:03.599 --> 00:42:06.639
guys have been in conversation for a while. You're just
722
00:42:06.719 --> 00:42:10.199
in a really good mood. And I think, I mean,
723
00:42:10.239 --> 00:42:12.440
it worked out fine for them, I guess, but I
724
00:42:12.559 --> 00:42:15.320
think you should have stayed in the good. You should
725
00:42:15.320 --> 00:42:18.039
have stayed in the present instead of going back to
726
00:42:18.119 --> 00:42:20.679
the past or even like starting talking about the future.
727
00:42:20.679 --> 00:42:23.960
You should have stayed right there and enjoy what you're
728
00:42:24.079 --> 00:42:29.159
doing right there and try to feel the sensations and
729
00:42:29.280 --> 00:42:33.760
fight and try to keep your mind right there instead
730
00:42:33.800 --> 00:42:36.719
of trying to, you know, make it more than it
731
00:42:36.880 --> 00:42:40.199
is than it has to be. Uh. They go back.
732
00:42:42.039 --> 00:42:45.719
They on the way back in the cab, he's looking
733
00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:47.360
at her ears. She's like, that's my spot. That's like
734
00:42:47.519 --> 00:42:51.119
me locking your dick, Like, is it I must do
735
00:42:51.320 --> 00:42:58.920
things equal? Is that the exact same thing? He thinks,
736
00:42:58.960 --> 00:43:00.880
that's funny. They get back. She gets into her blue
737
00:43:00.920 --> 00:43:02.559
Teddy and she has black gloves. I don't know what
738
00:43:02.599 --> 00:43:07.239
the fuck that is. Adrian is questionable style. Actually, Adrian
739
00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:09.679
has two thousand and five style. A lot of what
740
00:43:09.800 --> 00:43:12.559
she's wearing. I'm like, yeah, everybody's wearing that, uh, But
741
00:43:12.800 --> 00:43:17.000
like what she thinks is sexy. I'm often like, I
742
00:43:17.039 --> 00:43:19.639
don't know. I think her string bikini was very sexy.
743
00:43:19.760 --> 00:43:22.400
I think that she could wear some variation of that
744
00:43:23.880 --> 00:43:25.760
all the time and that would be more than enough.
745
00:43:25.800 --> 00:43:27.400
But some of the stuff that she dresses up to
746
00:43:27.480 --> 00:43:30.920
be sexy, and I'm like, I don't know who's grandma
747
00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:33.000
picked that out? Baby? I mean, you look great and everything,
748
00:43:33.039 --> 00:43:37.880
but who's grandma picked that out? So you know, she
749
00:43:38.039 --> 00:43:40.320
burps that Chris Knight sucks dick in his face and
750
00:43:40.360 --> 00:43:42.159
then he rolls over and farts in her face, and
751
00:43:42.280 --> 00:43:45.599
I wanted to die. I wanted to die. That's the
752
00:43:45.679 --> 00:43:48.440
worst part about raising boys. And it's not that like
753
00:43:48.639 --> 00:43:51.960
raising boys. When people say that raising boys is so
754
00:43:52.079 --> 00:43:54.360
much easier raising girls, it means they're doing a bad job. Right.
755
00:43:56.840 --> 00:43:59.239
We let boys grow, we don't raise them, and we
756
00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:02.280
raise women, and that's what we tend to do. We
757
00:44:02.400 --> 00:44:09.199
let boys free range. But the hardest part of being
758
00:44:09.280 --> 00:44:12.800
a mother to boys is no matter what type of
759
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:15.920
little boy you have, they will go through a stage
760
00:44:16.119 --> 00:44:19.840
and which farting on people is funny. They will go
761
00:44:20.039 --> 00:44:23.840
through a stage in which working in the world but
762
00:44:25.440 --> 00:44:29.599
into something is very funny, hilarious even, And I'm just
763
00:44:29.800 --> 00:44:32.800
not that type of humor. I can do a lot
764
00:44:32.840 --> 00:44:34.880
of stuff. I can be very silly with my kids.
765
00:44:34.920 --> 00:44:37.840
I play with them a lot. We laugh a fucking
766
00:44:37.960 --> 00:44:41.079
lot in this house. We laugh. I drive my fifteen
767
00:44:41.159 --> 00:44:43.360
year old to school and we are giggling the whole
768
00:44:43.440 --> 00:44:49.880
fucking time. We laugh, right, But I just I'm so
769
00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:52.039
happy I'm not in that room with Adrianne Burpen and
770
00:44:52.159 --> 00:44:54.440
him farting on people. I just can't. I can't do that.
771
00:44:55.000 --> 00:45:00.480
I can't do that. So the next day, Chris is
772
00:45:00.519 --> 00:45:04.119
reading the Puerto Rico Guide again and he keeps yelling
773
00:45:04.159 --> 00:45:07.960
out facts about income tax and what the biggest export
774
00:45:08.079 --> 00:45:13.519
is of Puerto Rico. It's pharmaceuticals. And she's annoyed because
775
00:45:13.519 --> 00:45:20.159
she feels like he's he's such a he doesn't experience things.
776
00:45:20.840 --> 00:45:24.519
He gets information about things instead of experiencing things. And
777
00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:26.639
even as they go out, he's still got the book
778
00:45:27.119 --> 00:45:29.480
and she's just really annoying. She's like, look around, we're here,
779
00:45:29.639 --> 00:45:32.440
you don't have to read that right now. We don't
780
00:45:32.519 --> 00:45:38.880
want to know what's the you know, the we don't
781
00:45:38.880 --> 00:45:42.280
want to know what the history of Puerto Rico. Right now,
782
00:45:42.280 --> 00:45:44.400
we want to enjoy Puerto Rico. It also doesn't help
783
00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:47.840
these weren't Ben Franklin glasses. Like he's got bifocals, okay,
784
00:45:48.719 --> 00:45:53.519
and he's got them one like he looks like, I
785
00:45:53.599 --> 00:45:56.039
don't think Adrian needs to worry about looking sexy at all.
786
00:45:56.559 --> 00:45:58.960
He needs to sex it up. He needs to sex
787
00:45:59.000 --> 00:46:02.000
it up. His shirts are too big. He really looks
788
00:46:02.079 --> 00:46:05.880
like he's like his shirts and his shorts are too big.
789
00:46:06.320 --> 00:46:11.119
They're flowing around him. When he was saying that'll dude
790
00:46:11.159 --> 00:46:15.280
to her, to her very tiny, tiny bikini, he he
791
00:46:15.519 --> 00:46:23.360
looked like, Okay, do you guys remember on Doug right
792
00:46:23.480 --> 00:46:26.159
by the way, Disney Plus just put all the weekenders
793
00:46:26.199 --> 00:46:29.440
to put recess, to put a bunch of shit from
794
00:46:29.480 --> 00:46:31.599
my fucking childhood, And actually if you check the dates
795
00:46:31.599 --> 00:46:33.360
on them, it might not be for my childhood, but anyway,
796
00:46:33.519 --> 00:46:35.559
they put a bunch of shit on there. Do you
797
00:46:35.599 --> 00:46:39.000
remember when Doug was doing like a music video and
798
00:46:39.480 --> 00:46:46.320
it was like he was singing like Bbie was helping
799
00:46:46.440 --> 00:46:49.679
him hate a little song, banging on a trash can
800
00:46:50.159 --> 00:46:52.639
like that song, right, and she was helping him with
801
00:46:52.679 --> 00:46:54.159
the video and she was like, you gotta think big,
802
00:46:54.199 --> 00:46:56.679
you gotta think big. And so what happens is that
803
00:46:57.920 --> 00:47:01.719
Doug is putting on an out fit like a suit,
804
00:47:02.320 --> 00:47:06.679
and the suit is very, very big, like his little
805
00:47:06.760 --> 00:47:09.039
hands are sticking out, his little head is sticking out,
806
00:47:09.320 --> 00:47:11.960
but the suit is very the suit is wearing him. Okay,
807
00:47:12.440 --> 00:47:14.960
the suit is existing and it decided to put Doug
808
00:47:15.039 --> 00:47:16.719
in it, not Dug didn't tried to put it on.
809
00:47:17.159 --> 00:47:23.559
That's what that is such a specific I've Referendug. I've
810
00:47:23.599 --> 00:47:26.119
referenced Doug plenty of times, like when I see somebody
811
00:47:26.119 --> 00:47:28.440
who's very already I call him a Judy funny, but
812
00:47:30.880 --> 00:47:36.440
someone who's an artist. But like, I don't know, that
813
00:47:36.559 --> 00:47:38.639
was a little too specific anyway, That's what he looked like.
814
00:47:39.079 --> 00:47:43.079
He's he's sloppy, he's wearing his Ben Franklin glasses. Get
815
00:47:43.280 --> 00:47:48.840
La sick already, He's bawling a little bit. This hot
816
00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:53.159
fucking woman is next to you. I wanted to experience.
817
00:47:53.440 --> 00:47:58.400
Is she annoying? Fuck? Yeah, she's fucking annoying. I've never
818
00:47:58.480 --> 00:48:02.119
did a twenty two year old she's fucking knowing. She
819
00:48:02.159 --> 00:48:11.519
sounds like Jerry Seinfeld. But but Jesus Christ spurs it
820
00:48:11.599 --> 00:48:17.119
up for okay, shit, try try to look good. God
821
00:48:17.239 --> 00:48:19.599
damn it. You want her to grow up. I want
822
00:48:19.639 --> 00:48:21.639
you to get some clothes that fits you. That's what
823
00:48:21.760 --> 00:48:25.760
I want. Anyway, they go to a restaurant and it
824
00:48:25.800 --> 00:48:29.159
has an afrodisac menu, and for some reason, like as
825
00:48:29.239 --> 00:48:31.079
soon as they get in there, the owner's like, comes
826
00:48:31.119 --> 00:48:36.159
to sit down with them. I'm like, sure, uh, obviously
827
00:48:36.280 --> 00:48:40.079
he's there because they're filming. They sit down and he
828
00:48:40.159 --> 00:48:42.800
walks them through the horny menu and they eat some things,
829
00:48:43.239 --> 00:48:46.679
and the owner says, you're like a beautiful couple, and
830
00:48:46.719 --> 00:48:50.840
they're like, yes, yes, thank you. And he says to Chris,
831
00:48:51.199 --> 00:48:55.000
I mean you look here, cradle snatcher. And I laughed
832
00:48:55.079 --> 00:48:57.280
so hard, And why don't you fucking say that you
833
00:48:57.360 --> 00:49:00.800
don't know these people. You don't know. Maybe he's just
834
00:49:01.679 --> 00:49:05.199
maybe he's got that Benjamin Button disease and he's like aging,
835
00:49:06.079 --> 00:49:08.639
he's aging backwards. But he's in a weird place, right,
836
00:49:08.800 --> 00:49:12.559
he's aging backwards. Maybe maybe she's older than him. He's
837
00:49:12.639 --> 00:49:16.960
got that Benjamin button thing. Boy, But he said so
838
00:49:17.119 --> 00:49:19.440
when when the dude says he looks like cradle snatcher,
839
00:49:20.239 --> 00:49:24.719
Chris goes, the cradle jumped in my lub, all right,
840
00:49:24.760 --> 00:49:29.400
but you did catch it, motherfucker, so calm down. Anyway,
841
00:49:32.239 --> 00:49:37.159
he says that. The owner says that Chris and Adriana
842
00:49:37.159 --> 00:49:41.679
are in a cradle not cradle snatcher, a cradle snatcher relationship.
843
00:49:41.880 --> 00:49:44.840
They're in a rock kite relationship. She's the kite, he's
844
00:49:44.880 --> 00:49:47.599
the rock, and the two of them give each other
845
00:49:47.719 --> 00:49:51.079
things that he don't have. Uh. He gives her stability
846
00:49:51.239 --> 00:49:54.800
and she gives him I don't know the wind. And
847
00:49:56.360 --> 00:49:58.599
they love this. They love this like they're like, yes,
848
00:49:59.119 --> 00:50:07.000
someone understands that love finally, Yes, it's cradle snatching and
849
00:50:07.119 --> 00:50:13.519
rocks and kites. Yes, that's so. He's asking him if
850
00:50:13.519 --> 00:50:15.239
they're married, like he's done a lot of talking. He's
851
00:50:15.320 --> 00:50:19.000
asking them if they're married, and Adrian holds up her
852
00:50:19.039 --> 00:50:20.840
ring finger like she always does and is like, no,
853
00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:23.119
he's not man enough to ask me if I'm married
854
00:50:23.280 --> 00:50:26.440
and to marry him, which would piss me a fuck off,
855
00:50:26.599 --> 00:50:29.000
Like I her walking around telling people I'm not man
856
00:50:29.159 --> 00:50:37.480
enough to marry like I have a sharp mouth. And
857
00:50:38.480 --> 00:50:43.360
if she told me if she more than once in
858
00:50:43.440 --> 00:50:46.719
front of other people, said that the reason I haven't
859
00:50:46.760 --> 00:50:49.480
asked her to marry her is because I'm not man enough.
860
00:50:50.199 --> 00:50:53.880
I might have said, I'm obviously man enough. I've been
861
00:50:53.920 --> 00:50:59.559
married twice. Maybe you're not enough, and that's mean, that's
862
00:50:59.639 --> 00:51:01.639
fucking me and also not true, because like I said,
863
00:51:01.639 --> 00:51:06.480
she's deprising this fucking relationship. Okay, you're over here looking
864
00:51:06.519 --> 00:51:13.880
like George Costanza and you've got the model babe here. Okay,
865
00:51:14.239 --> 00:51:17.920
But anyway, I know I would have I know it's
866
00:51:17.960 --> 00:51:20.000
some I would have said something back at some point
867
00:51:20.599 --> 00:51:22.559
because I would feel like she was trying to embarrass
868
00:51:22.599 --> 00:51:26.039
me when she knows, damn well why I haven't asked
869
00:51:26.039 --> 00:51:28.039
her married. Or it's not like I'm just like scared,
870
00:51:28.159 --> 00:51:30.719
it's I've got problems here now, maybe some of the
871
00:51:30.920 --> 00:51:34.039
problems with my homemaking, but i've but there's a damn
872
00:51:34.119 --> 00:51:38.039
good reason why I haven't asked you. But the owner
873
00:51:38.119 --> 00:51:40.559
guys like, yeah, I know a place where you can
874
00:51:40.599 --> 00:51:43.400
find some great rocks things she'll love. I no place
875
00:51:43.440 --> 00:51:45.639
you can get a ring right now, right now. And
876
00:51:47.320 --> 00:51:49.440
and at first Chris was like, you know, we just
877
00:51:49.559 --> 00:51:52.760
were having a lovely time and sometimes people come to
878
00:51:53.480 --> 00:51:56.440
you when you need them, and at this that's what
879
00:51:56.519 --> 00:51:58.159
he was saying. And then this started happening. I know
880
00:51:58.280 --> 00:52:03.199
Chris was like, no, never why anyway. At some point
881
00:52:03.280 --> 00:52:06.159
Chris goes, I'm committed, and he's like and the owner
882
00:52:06.199 --> 00:52:09.320
guy's like, oh, you're committed, show me, show me, show me,
883
00:52:09.679 --> 00:52:14.760
show me. I don't know what. You're not gonna pressure me.
884
00:52:15.559 --> 00:52:19.119
He's this is why, this is what Adrian said her
885
00:52:19.159 --> 00:52:23.320
daddy was gonna do. That man is more interested than
886
00:52:23.400 --> 00:52:28.119
getting married than any of Adrian's fucking family. He's peer pressure.
887
00:52:28.199 --> 00:52:34.320
He's bullying Chris, show me, show me. Then he goes,
888
00:52:34.480 --> 00:52:37.079
this is the kicker. He goes, you know what, propose
889
00:52:37.119 --> 00:52:38.559
to her right now. Propose to her right now in
890
00:52:38.599 --> 00:52:43.000
front of me. Do it? Do it right now? Double dog?
891
00:52:43.039 --> 00:52:47.440
Dare you to do? And then we're on a climenter.
892
00:52:47.559 --> 00:52:51.199
I like, Chris, if you don't get show, assess a
893
00:52:51.280 --> 00:52:54.599
can and go back to the hotel. Do not let
894
00:52:54.719 --> 00:52:58.880
this stranger man who is desperate to be in the
895
00:52:58.960 --> 00:53:03.079
reality show that's feeling in his restaurant, do let him
896
00:53:03.639 --> 00:53:06.119
bully you into being like, do you want to marry me?
897
00:53:06.360 --> 00:53:08.000
Because she's not gonna let you take it back. She's
898
00:53:08.039 --> 00:53:09.800
not gonna let you take it back. She's not going
899
00:53:09.880 --> 00:53:12.559
to she's not gonna be like you're when you go,
900
00:53:14.000 --> 00:53:18.920
you go hey, like, uh, you know that that was funny,
901
00:53:19.000 --> 00:53:21.159
right when I said that, She's like nope, you said,
902
00:53:24.320 --> 00:53:28.400
I'm sorry. I just can't fully I don't know what
903
00:53:28.519 --> 00:53:30.880
to the bathroom or you know, my pat what I
904
00:53:30.960 --> 00:53:32.480
tell you? What I tell you? What do you do
905
00:53:33.039 --> 00:53:36.360
when somebody like comes at you with some ridiculous stuff
906
00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:38.840
and like you just don't want to be rude and
907
00:53:38.960 --> 00:53:42.000
like you're in a like a social situationary, like I'm
908
00:53:42.000 --> 00:53:44.320
not quote white sure what to do? Fall to the ground.
909
00:53:44.840 --> 00:53:47.440
Fall to the ground and faint. You don't have to
910
00:53:47.480 --> 00:53:49.400
really faint. I've never fanned a day in my life.
911
00:53:49.800 --> 00:53:54.360
But fall to the ground. Lay on the ground until
912
00:53:54.400 --> 00:53:57.800
the ambemis gets there. I don't care if they they're like, princess, princess,
913
00:53:57.800 --> 00:53:59.960
are you okay, don't say nothing. Just lay on the ground,
914
00:54:00.039 --> 00:54:01.960
close your eyes and lay on the ground. When the
915
00:54:02.039 --> 00:54:05.760
ambulance gets there, they will take you away. The doctors
916
00:54:05.760 --> 00:54:07.320
will have to check you out. You can open your
917
00:54:07.320 --> 00:54:08.840
eyes once you get to the hospital. You don't want
918
00:54:08.840 --> 00:54:10.760
them like I don't know, sticking a needle in your
919
00:54:10.800 --> 00:54:12.840
neck or something like to help with your eyes. Just
920
00:54:13.000 --> 00:54:17.880
start start, start responding to people. And then when the
921
00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:21.159
person whoever was there with you shows up to the
922
00:54:21.199 --> 00:54:24.079
hospitals like, oh my god, president you okay? Are you okay?
923
00:54:24.480 --> 00:54:28.320
Say yes, and then pretend like you don't remember shit
924
00:54:28.400 --> 00:54:31.480
that they said. They don't have to reask you. And
925
00:54:31.559 --> 00:54:33.079
that's what you do. If somebody propose it to you
926
00:54:33.199 --> 00:54:35.239
that you don't even like, you were not anticipate being
927
00:54:35.280 --> 00:54:37.559
proposed to, and they're proposing to you in public, lay
928
00:54:37.599 --> 00:54:40.440
on the ground. That's what you do. If your boss
929
00:54:40.519 --> 00:54:45.280
comes in there and ask you about another coworker and
930
00:54:45.320 --> 00:54:47.519
you're like, I'm not a snitch, but also some shit happened.
931
00:54:47.599 --> 00:54:51.360
Just lay on the ground. And if a man at
932
00:54:51.360 --> 00:54:56.320
an afrodisiac restaurant comes out and starts chanting at you
933
00:54:56.599 --> 00:54:58.880
to marry, to ask someone to marry you, that you
934
00:54:59.480 --> 00:55:02.519
have I had many chances to propose to and did not.
935
00:55:03.480 --> 00:55:04.960
Just threw yourself on the ground. Lay on the ground.
936
00:55:05.199 --> 00:55:08.320
Just fall to the ground. Also, I can cry, pee
937
00:55:08.400 --> 00:55:10.599
or throw up on command. I always have a little
938
00:55:10.639 --> 00:55:12.079
pe in me. I always have a little throw up
939
00:55:12.119 --> 00:55:16.519
in me. I always am a little sad, so if
940
00:55:16.559 --> 00:55:18.360
I have to, I'll just throw right on up. I'll
941
00:55:18.400 --> 00:55:20.280
just throw right on up right at that tucking table
942
00:55:20.519 --> 00:55:23.039
to end this conversation, and then I'll lay on the
943
00:55:23.079 --> 00:55:28.039
ground until the amfluence comes. I actually didn't let the
944
00:55:28.159 --> 00:55:29.920
episode roll in to the next so I actually don't
945
00:55:29.960 --> 00:55:36.719
know what happens. But I am dying and you're just
946
00:55:36.800 --> 00:55:43.440
sitting there smiling and wagging her and this stranger that
947
00:55:43.480 --> 00:55:46.599
disappears your table. It's like, show me, show me a
948
00:55:46.679 --> 00:55:53.559
devil dog. Damn you to ask her right now. Yeah,
949
00:55:53.599 --> 00:55:56.719
I'm ready for next week anyway. That's it. That's all
950
00:55:56.719 --> 00:55:59.320
I got. The next episode you guys will be getting
951
00:55:59.320 --> 00:56:01.360
if you're a bonus subscriber is I'm gonna talk about
952
00:56:01.400 --> 00:56:05.519
Southern hospitality on it comes out on Thursday, and then
953
00:56:05.559 --> 00:56:10.400
after that I'm gonna do two or three topics on
954
00:56:10.519 --> 00:56:14.719
a wrap up on Friday. So until then, guys, Later