When the Expert Wonders: A Midwife’s Honest Confessions

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This is By Your Side, the podcast that cuts through the noise of new parenthood.
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No cliches, no guilt trips, just the real story.
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Practical tools and insights that actually help.
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I'm Katie and I'm here to make sure you don't do this alone.
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In this episode, I speak to Lucy Nicholson, a midwife with over 15 years of
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experience that made me really think about the pressure all new parents feel.
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To be perfect, to know what they're doing, and that they should be getting it right.
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I love her openness and honesty about her own experience, where she shares that
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even though she is the expert, she had worries and fears about pregnancy and parenthood too.
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Before we dive in, just a quick moment to say, if this episode speaks to you,
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please hit follow, leave a review, or send it to someone you know who's in the thick of it too.
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That's how we reach more new parents who need a
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little reminder that they're not doing it wrong it's just
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hard and don't forget conversation continues
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in the podcast lounge on the by your side app that's where
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you can share your thoughts ask questions and help
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shape what we talk about next all right
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let's get into it hi Lucy it's
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so lovely to have you on this week hi Katie
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thank you so much for having me on I'm really excited to do this for
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you I'm desperate to dive in so when
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you why did you qualify what called you to
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being a midwife what was it that trapped you to that
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job to be honest I don't really know I said
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it from a really young age that I wanted to be
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a midwife and I don't really know if I really knew sort
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of the ins and outs of the three probably not at the age
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that I was and then went through school thinking
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yeah I'll be a midwife and then when it gets
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to the point where you have to choose what you want to do in terms of subjects or
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applications and things had a bit of a wobble and was like I've said this for
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years do I actually want to do this or do I want to be a teacher or something
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else and I just kind of thought I wanted to do it for so long or I've thought
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I've wanted to do it for so long
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I'm going to give it a go that's the only way I find out if it's me and.
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Honestly it's the best thing I've done like genuinely cannot
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imagine doing any other job it's amazing
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I'm so privileged to be part of so many women's lives oh
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that's fantastic because it's so often that
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as kids and I can speak from experience that
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you think oh I think that's what I want to do but to actually
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do it and go through it and I'm guessing it's
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not just all easy sailing not every pregnancy is easy not every birth is easy
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you know have there have there been times where you've just thought actually
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this is a real challenge or is it just that still that privilege of being part of a parent's journey?
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Yeah, I mean, it's always a privilege, whatever the situation,
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to be a part of someone's journey, because it's such a special time in people's
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lives, brings with it such emotion and vulnerability and fear for a lot of women.
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And, you know, obviously not every outcome's a positive or unexpected.
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You know, not necessarily a positive experience, but unexpected sometimes.
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And sort of managing expectations protecting
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women advocating empowering like it
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all it's all a part of it yeah I
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think it's just a massive I think
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nobody really understands I'm sure it's like
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any job you know nobody really understands the you
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know the enormity of a job or actually the job role
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itself until you're you're in it and you're doing it
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and you're seeing and meeting these people I think there's lots of
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factors that change lots of things for people there's
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something that somebody finds completely normal other people
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find completely you know scary unexpected you
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know all that kind of thing so it's been such a
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privilege to just stand by these women and adapt to
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them as an individual and support them in the ways that they
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need really oh that's so beautiful
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and so normalizing of actually it's okay
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to find that something's not doesn't feel right for
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you and somebody else might find that that's okay for
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them but if it's not for you knowing that
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your midwife is there to hold your hand and advocate for you and to understand
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is just huge and I suppose I'd if if someone's finding with their health care
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professional that they're not feeling held and supported in the way that you
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obviously do with the women that you work with.
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What are their options?
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Do they have options or do you have to just stick with the healthcare professional,
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the midwife that you've been assigned?
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I think that's a really important question, actually, because we're always going
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to meet people in life that are either on our wavelength or not.
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And I think it's really important to know that you do have a choice.
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You know, talking from sort of my trust, you know, I would just encourage you
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to get hold of part of management and just express your concerns or worries
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or feelings about your caregiver.
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Because there's absolutely always another option of sort of transferring care.
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It might mean you have to travel a little further to appointments or to a different place.
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But actually if that's going to make a difference to your journey sort
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of to motherhood and parenthood then I absolutely recommend that
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you do it you know you you don't have to
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stick with somebody if you don't feel supported um in
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your journey oh that's so powerful and so empowering which is obviously kind
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of what you love about what you do I'm going to be a bit not not cheeky but
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I'm going to dig a little bit so having qualified as a midwife you obviously
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then went on to become a parent yourself.
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Was there anything, I suppose, did you just feel just really prepared and it
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all went and you knew what you were doing?
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Or was there anything that threw up for you that caused maybe a shift in how
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you viewed your work or pregnancy or birth?
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I think that's a really interesting one because I know
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the physiology and anatomy of it all I've supported
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hundreds of women through the same journey but I
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guess the thing that you don't know is how you're going to
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feel about everything or how you're going to cope or
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you know your own transition to parenthood as a
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whole you don't know how your birth's going to go you know
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just having the knowledge doesn't gain you entry to
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an amazing magical birth or experience you
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know and I've seen time and time again you know.
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Often just personal perception of experience so you
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know we have women that have you know textbook if
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you'd like births but actually come away with a lot of birth trauma from
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that or you see women who've ended up with an emergency salarian
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that are cool about it you know and it's that thing of like
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I can't predict how I'm going to feel about any part
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of this journey you know there's lots of emotion
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that goes with it as well I think the biggest thing that
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I would say during pregnancy that I
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felt that I was unprepared for was the
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sense of responsibility for growing this
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baby that was going to change lots of people's lives you
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know first grandbaby for my parents my in-laws
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they've got two grandchildren that live out in New Zealand so first
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grandchild that kind of they would be around a
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lot and obviously my husband's life so
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I think I felt this real responsibility knowing that
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actually everything that I was doing was you
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know in favor of supporting a nice healthy pregnancy but
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that fear of what if something happens and
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I know that it you know rationally that it wouldn't necessarily be
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anything that I'd done or my fault but having
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bearing that responsibility of growing this baby
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and getting it out safely to then present it to everybody that was kind of waiting
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for this baby to arrive and I never nobody ever said that to me either sort
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of friend or patient or anything that actually that sense of responsibility
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feels massive that's that's really huge Lucy isn't it because that is.
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It's you kind of say that's all on me.
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And I think that's something that echoes through parenthood for so many parents,
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particularly women, but not exclusively, about actually this is my responsibility. It's on me.
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Yet, as you said, you were doing everything that you knew textbook that you
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needed to do in order to have a healthy pregnancy.
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Yet everybody's expectations were on you.
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And that's really interesting that you can you say you
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can see that almost separate and you can see that and you can reflect back on
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that but actually at the time that was still going through your mind and that
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that kind of level of of pressure in a way is it's yeah anything from somebody who knows,
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absolutely and I would 100% have had you
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know support from any of those people if
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anything you know in our journey had you know changed of
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an unexpected and you know there was
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no fear that I wouldn't be supported in those
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things but it was just the yeah the the personal pressure of almost I've got
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to get this right and people are waiting for this baby and yeah just yeah never
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sort of physically knew what was going to happen prepared for the journey but yeah the internal.
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Turmoil of, you know, I hope everything is going to be okay and, you know,
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and progress as expected.
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So that's, so that insight obviously is huge.
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As you said, kind of the anatomy, the physiology, you've kind of got that down,
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delivered lots of babies, lots of different scenarios and lots of different journeys.
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So what would you say kind of after,
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and particularly after those first 18 months so being gone through pregnancy
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delivered in the first 18 months has it changed how you view or how you approach
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your work or your kind of relationship with other women,
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yeah I don't it's such a profound thing that I don't think that you could go
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through that and not change you know you've got empathy rather than sympathy
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now because you've done it And you've been through those difficult nights and,
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you know, those early mornings,
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you know, doing it second time around, having a toddler then.
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He was just less than two when I had my second, you know, so then juggling two days.
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You know it's huge isn't it and I think
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the main main things I'd say to any mum is I think you you're doing better than
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you think you're doing you know half the time we're really hard on ourselves
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aren't we and you know you live and trying to live up to expectation and social
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media and friends you know a beast of comparison wears its head doesn't it as soon as you have a baby,
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and you know worrying about if your baby's
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doing what we should be doing meeting those milestones
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you know feeding and steeping when they should be and
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it's all in quotation marks isn't it because every baby's different
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and every journey's different yeah absolutely and
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that's you know that's so empowering to hear you see because you know it's it's
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the element of you are the professional in this arena and to know that you go
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through what i'd say a hundred percent i'm happy for somebody to come back and
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we'd go, no, I've been fine.
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And I knew that I never worried once, but just to hear that normalizing that
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sense of comparison and that worry or that.
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Feeling isolated in that you think that you might be doing something different
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rather than actually, this is what everybody goes through.
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And these are the thought process that everybody goes through.
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It's just incredibly empowering.
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Yeah, I think another massive thing is it's all right to change your mind about things.
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You know, pre-prenancy, you have all these, you know, you've probably seen friends
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and family, parents, you've probably seen things on social media or the TV.
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You know, I've seen first-time with family, you kind of build this little image
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of this is kind of how I'm going to do things.
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And actually, it's okay to change your mind when your baby arrives,
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you know, feeding, sleeping, routines.
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When you return to work everything's flexible
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and actually you know what works for somebody may
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not work for you and your baby and your family for whatever reason and
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actually just because you've said it it doesn't mean you
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have to stick with it and you just have to find your own way to
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survive when you're in it yeah oh that's yeah
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that's so helpful rather than feeling I must do
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it this way that that can change over
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the lifetime of your family as
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your family grows or just because actually it's not working
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for you it's just helpful you can
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choose and you can change and that's that's not a
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reflection on you it's you growing with your baby and
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your family yeah definitely now I'm going to
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delve into questions because it's
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such as you've said such a huge change it's
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a huge change mentally it's a huge change physically
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in terms of relationship with others and I
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know that not everybody feels really comfortable in asking kind
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of those questions that they might think.
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Sound a bit out there or weird what what's
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the weirdest question do you think that you've had
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or maybe a personal question I think
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I think the the question that
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threw me off the most well the phone call that threw me off the most
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was when a dad called in the middle of the night worried about his baby and
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when I answered the phone he said my baby's got eggs in her legs right and I
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was like sorry could you repeat that please and he just said I think my baby's
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got eggs in her legs and I think that's,
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yeah just absolutely floored me because I didn't really know how
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to respond and I just said can you describe what you're seeing you know
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and I think I think in the end we deduced
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that baby got a bit harassed it was a bit monthly okay but
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they described it yeah completely threw me
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off course really but you know if you're
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ever worried about your little one it's really good to call
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don't ever feel silly you know this person that called was never made to feel
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silly from the way that he was describing things he was obviously panicking
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about his little one and he did the right thing by by calling to get some advice
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and we got that baby scene and she was absolutely fine but I think again that's
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such an important thing when you're panicking.
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You know and you almost don't know how to word things or
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how to ask something just let it out you
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know we'll always get to the bottom of things without judgment you know
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and we'll always offer reassurance and you know second
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opinions or you know seeing your little one if
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if we need to I think uh you know
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like we've just said every baby's different aren't they so you know they don't
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come out with a textbook to tell you exactly what's going on with them
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so yeah we'd much rather you call but yeah I think that's
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the I think that's the probably the strangest question
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I've had about a baby but I think
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he was just a bit flustered and didn't really know how to how to
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sort of describe things to us yeah but that that
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worries it's really interesting isn't it there's I know there's
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been more scientific study into that neural change
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so the brain change within parents of worrying and I know that I a friend of
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mine has recently had a baby and she's kind of checking the buggy all the time
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you know to make sure the brakes are on if it's anywhere she said oh gosh I
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just think the worst case scenario so much now and she's a very laid-back very bubbly lady,
00:15:55.142 --> 00:15:57.642
yet this is something that's obviously quite new to her.
00:15:57.802 --> 00:16:02.082
But I think they've shown now through scientific studies of the brain change
00:16:02.082 --> 00:16:03.782
that actually that's what happens.
00:16:04.142 --> 00:16:07.462
You are more prone, you adapt to make those changes.
00:16:07.989 --> 00:16:14.129
Kind of that sense checking and safety checking for your child it's really normal and natural.
00:16:15.709 --> 00:16:18.589
Evolutionary progression really yeah and we've
00:16:18.589 --> 00:16:21.449
always you know at the time where women are speaking to women and families are
00:16:21.449 --> 00:16:24.089
speaking to midwives your baby's probably less than
00:16:24.089 --> 00:16:27.189
two weeks old so a lot's changed in that two weeks you know you're
00:16:27.189 --> 00:16:30.869
you're probably needing in sleep deprivation and you
00:16:30.869 --> 00:16:33.909
know change and worry and you know feeding and
00:16:33.909 --> 00:16:36.749
you know is this nappy normal like everything goes
00:16:36.749 --> 00:16:40.069
through your head doesn't it and it's 24 hours a day especially those
00:16:40.069 --> 00:16:42.949
first you know a few weeks or months you see
00:16:42.949 --> 00:16:46.289
in most hours of the day you know so actually it's really
00:16:46.289 --> 00:16:49.509
hard to be articulate isn't it when you're absolutely shattered and and
00:16:49.509 --> 00:16:52.649
you've got lots going on absolutely and it's about
00:16:52.649 --> 00:16:55.989
that relationship so I suppose it kind of interlinks
00:16:55.989 --> 00:16:59.209
with lots of what we said about having that relationship with your healthcare
00:16:59.209 --> 00:17:02.089
professional your midwife is really
00:17:02.089 --> 00:17:05.009
important and if it's not right then you can ask to change
00:17:05.009 --> 00:17:07.889
because actually that's the person no matter what no matter
00:17:07.889 --> 00:17:12.169
how worried or if you feel you can't articulate properly it's worth checking
00:17:12.169 --> 00:17:18.689
and sense checking and making sure that you can put your mind at rest but that
00:17:18.689 --> 00:17:25.689
sense of it is exhausting and that's normal let's let's call it what it is.
00:17:27.689 --> 00:17:31.329
It's just shattering those first
00:17:31.329 --> 00:17:34.469
few weeks and months and what's lovely
00:17:34.469 --> 00:17:37.429
is you're saying actually you will say many hours you won't
00:17:37.429 --> 00:17:40.169
have this routine i think we had
00:17:40.169 --> 00:17:44.289
um a lovely interview with helen
00:17:44.289 --> 00:17:47.409
bell around sleep who talks about
00:17:47.409 --> 00:17:51.389
that sense of that's normal and that's natural it's
00:17:51.389 --> 00:17:54.609
it's not to be expected that your baby should be
00:17:54.609 --> 00:17:57.949
in a sleep for a certain amount of hours from
00:17:57.949 --> 00:18:00.929
the very get-go it's about finding your way
00:18:00.929 --> 00:18:08.489
together as you progress and grow together yeah definitely have you seen and
00:18:08.489 --> 00:18:12.709
you kind of talked about instagram and other social medias and that expectation
00:18:12.709 --> 00:18:19.089
have you seen a change over the last 15 years of expectations of parents of,
00:18:19.829 --> 00:18:24.549
what things should or could be like, or has it been kind of fairly consistent?
00:18:25.670 --> 00:18:33.010
I think it's kind of been glamorized now. Not that being a parent isn't glamorous, of course. Really?
00:18:33.830 --> 00:18:35.970
You had a very different experience to me.
00:18:38.610 --> 00:18:41.870
You always got sick on your shoulder and things like that. Yeah, absolutely.
00:18:42.870 --> 00:18:46.750
But yeah, I think it has changed. I think there's a lot more out there now.
00:18:46.950 --> 00:18:49.550
I think that's where people are getting their information from.
00:18:49.910 --> 00:18:53.250
I think, you know, Dr. Google is still around, isn't it?
00:18:53.250 --> 00:18:56.530
You know and I think people are generally seeking more.
00:18:56.530 --> 00:18:59.510
Support reassurance you know
00:18:59.510 --> 00:19:02.290
insight into things like parenting and what's normal and
00:19:02.290 --> 00:19:05.310
what isn't from social media I don't
00:19:05.310 --> 00:19:08.090
I don't necessarily think it's all bad at all I think we've got some
00:19:08.090 --> 00:19:10.990
really positive sort of influences out there in terms
00:19:10.990 --> 00:19:14.070
of parenting I think there's lots of good information I think
00:19:14.070 --> 00:19:17.770
where it gets difficult is the conflicting information that's
00:19:17.770 --> 00:19:20.430
what a lot of feedback is for you know
00:19:20.430 --> 00:19:23.010
in terms of women looking at things that are sort of do's and
00:19:23.010 --> 00:19:25.770
don'ts of breastfeeding for example yeah you know you can
00:19:25.770 --> 00:19:28.690
get told 10 different things by 10 different people and actually
00:19:28.690 --> 00:19:31.550
none of it align and and then it's really hard to
00:19:31.550 --> 00:19:34.490
focus your energy onto something isn't it because you don't know what's right
00:19:34.490 --> 00:19:37.370
and what what isn't and actually half the time it's not being about
00:19:37.370 --> 00:19:40.790
right or wrong it's about being what works for you and your
00:19:40.790 --> 00:19:43.530
your baby I think the biggest thing is you know your
00:19:43.530 --> 00:19:46.470
baby best you know nobody else is
00:19:46.470 --> 00:19:49.410
going to know your baby like you so you know being you know
00:19:49.410 --> 00:19:52.590
having that flexibility that we were talking about earlier you know
00:19:52.590 --> 00:19:55.610
i think i think gaining ideas and inspiration and
00:19:55.610 --> 00:19:58.390
things from from people is good you know if you're struggling with
00:19:58.390 --> 00:20:01.270
something and think well actually haven't tried that and it's worth a go
00:20:01.270 --> 00:20:04.450
and that may be the little nugget of gold
00:20:04.450 --> 00:20:07.370
that you were looking for that actually you know changes or
00:20:07.370 --> 00:20:10.170
improves the situation in terms of sort of
00:20:10.170 --> 00:20:13.470
early motherhood and or parenting yeah but
00:20:13.470 --> 00:20:16.250
yes definitely changed i'd say but i don't think it's
00:20:16.250 --> 00:20:19.350
all for the bad I think I think the thing
00:20:19.350 --> 00:20:22.570
that that is probably the hardest
00:20:22.570 --> 00:20:25.370
part of social media is almost you're seeing a snapshot of.
00:20:25.370 --> 00:20:28.110
People's lives aren't you and you're not always seeing that
00:20:28.110 --> 00:20:31.030
behind the scenes that day the tears
00:20:31.030 --> 00:20:34.210
the anxiety that they're not coping fear we're seeing
00:20:34.210 --> 00:20:36.970
the snapshots of of the you know
00:20:36.970 --> 00:20:40.010
the easy bits of their day or the nice bits or as well as edited
00:20:40.010 --> 00:20:43.110
I think I think it's knowing that realistically their
00:20:43.110 --> 00:20:46.450
whole day from I don't know five six a.m until bedtimes
00:20:46.450 --> 00:20:50.510
you know probably not finishing sailing as it appears absolutely
00:20:50.510 --> 00:20:53.530
so it says that you know take take the
00:20:53.530 --> 00:20:57.650
bit that works for you I would say from what you've just said it's about finding
00:20:57.650 --> 00:21:05.830
your own way and you knowing your baby best I heard I when I was a while ago
00:21:05.830 --> 00:21:11.550
but obviously when I was pregnant I remember having a taxi journey and the taxi driver telling me.
00:21:12.650 --> 00:21:15.090
Actually, everybody's going to give you information.
00:21:15.590 --> 00:21:19.310
Everybody you meet will give you a piece of advice. And he said,
00:21:19.310 --> 00:21:24.090
with all sincerity, take all of that advice and forget it.
00:21:24.797 --> 00:21:28.617
Do your own thing find your own way and that
00:21:28.617 --> 00:21:31.657
actually turned out to be one of the wisest things from a random taxi
00:21:31.657 --> 00:21:35.037
driver that I heard about it's that
00:21:35.037 --> 00:21:38.357
trust in yourself and finding your way but
00:21:38.357 --> 00:21:41.457
as you said and finding those little nuggets that might work
00:21:41.457 --> 00:21:44.117
for you yeah and also you know
00:21:44.117 --> 00:21:47.037
every baby's different so you could have 10 babies and probably
00:21:47.037 --> 00:21:49.897
what works the first one might not work for baby six seven and eight
00:21:49.897 --> 00:21:52.837
you know it's just it's that thing of just being
00:21:52.837 --> 00:21:56.017
adaptable and you know I'm sure you can resonate
00:21:56.017 --> 00:21:58.957
with this like you know you one day you think you've absolutely cracked
00:21:58.957 --> 00:22:02.137
something and then a day later it's all reversed and
00:22:02.137 --> 00:22:05.677
that thing doesn't work anymore and you have to find something new so it's
00:22:05.677 --> 00:22:09.037
just not there's no consistency is there it's just about adaptability and
00:22:09.037 --> 00:22:11.857
being a bit like you know today was a good day we'll take
00:22:11.857 --> 00:22:15.097
that see what tomorrow brings and we'll deal with what tomorrow brings yeah
00:22:15.097 --> 00:22:17.837
oh that's fabulous and about the little wins I think
00:22:17.837 --> 00:22:20.857
is really important yeah the little wins and
00:22:20.857 --> 00:22:23.597
and charting those in some way I think is a really good
00:22:23.597 --> 00:22:29.537
way of kind of remember actually we did have a win yesterday or this yeah or
00:22:29.537 --> 00:22:33.717
I'd love for you to speak about nesting lotus a little bit more because this
00:22:33.717 --> 00:22:39.297
is how I came across you and your work and I think that approach to how you
00:22:39.297 --> 00:22:41.157
support women is just so empowering.
00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:47.720
Oh, thank you. So Nesting Lotus was born on my second maternity leave.
00:22:47.840 --> 00:22:53.000
I tried on my first maternity leave to do my equinatal training, but then COVID hit.
00:22:53.180 --> 00:22:55.860
So that all got cancelled, along with most things in life.
00:22:56.580 --> 00:23:00.080
And then by the time it all reopened again, I was either pregnant or thinking
00:23:00.080 --> 00:23:01.080
about having another one.
00:23:01.540 --> 00:23:07.580
So at the, about, I think my youngest was about 10 months old when I went on my training up in Leeds.
00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:10.720
Took my dad with me to look after the baby while I did my training my
00:23:10.720 --> 00:23:13.660
equinatal training and it started from there
00:23:13.660 --> 00:23:16.500
so I wanted to give women an
00:23:16.500 --> 00:23:19.980
alternative to lamb-based exercising pregnancy I
00:23:19.980 --> 00:23:23.100
think the benefits of being in water is in
00:23:23.100 --> 00:23:25.900
there is incredible that sort of weightlessness especially as
00:23:25.900 --> 00:23:29.120
your bump grows low impact and actually
00:23:29.120 --> 00:23:31.900
speaking from personal experience I'm not a gym
00:23:31.900 --> 00:23:34.560
girl like I don't mind do it but it's not
00:23:34.560 --> 00:23:37.260
my favorite it you know offer me a swim and fall
00:23:37.260 --> 00:23:40.720
instead and I'm straight in so part
00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:43.900
of it was wanting to offer women a choice about sort
00:23:43.900 --> 00:23:47.360
of exercise and activity especially for
00:23:47.360 --> 00:23:50.200
those women where it might not be as easy to engage with things like
00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:52.940
that you know people that particularly suffering with um things like
00:23:52.940 --> 00:23:56.520
spd or public air of pain you know
00:23:56.520 --> 00:23:59.400
raised bmr for example anything you know
00:23:59.400 --> 00:24:02.280
or even just one-based exercise isn't for me
00:24:02.280 --> 00:24:05.760
you know that's that's fine but yeah
00:24:05.760 --> 00:24:08.680
it was kind of born from a want to do some
00:24:08.680 --> 00:24:11.520
some water-based activity with pregnant women.
00:24:11.520 --> 00:24:15.080
But what it's given me is something much much
00:24:15.080 --> 00:24:18.140
bigger than that it's allowed me to create a huge community
00:24:18.140 --> 00:24:21.280
of women getting them together in a local environment
00:24:21.280 --> 00:24:24.380
you know the main theme is activity of
00:24:24.380 --> 00:24:27.300
course keeping nice and unhealthy in pregnancy you know
00:24:27.300 --> 00:24:30.000
but that has a ripple effect to mental health and
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:33.960
emotions and how you feel about pregnancy but
00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:37.580
the biggest thing is about creating these communities of women you
00:24:37.580 --> 00:24:40.580
know within our classes we have a protected space in
00:24:40.580 --> 00:24:43.400
our classes at the end every single time for women to
00:24:43.400 --> 00:24:47.820
introduce themselves I mean I went to a pregnancy yoga class when I had my first
00:24:47.820 --> 00:24:52.320
which was amazing loved it and I was probably near the same woman most weeks
00:24:52.320 --> 00:24:56.040
but it got to the point where they probably told me their name you know in weeks
00:24:56.040 --> 00:24:59.200
one or two and then by week six seven I've forgotten what their names are and
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:00.920
actually it feels too awkward to ask again.
00:25:01.540 --> 00:25:04.460
You know so then it's really difficult to take that kind of
00:25:04.460 --> 00:25:07.760
friendship or acquaintance inside of a
00:25:07.760 --> 00:25:10.520
group so a big part of lesson notice for me is
00:25:10.520 --> 00:25:13.580
kind of brewing that awkward bit for you so every week everybody
00:25:13.580 --> 00:25:16.360
says the names how many weeks pregnant or postnatal you
00:25:16.360 --> 00:25:19.140
welcome postnatally as well and we just have a
00:25:19.140 --> 00:25:22.340
bit of a chat about our week and sometimes it's nothing to do with pregnancy but
00:25:22.340 --> 00:25:25.220
you know acknowledging that things are going on outside of pregnancy as well
00:25:25.220 --> 00:25:29.000
which can make a huge difference to your life and your journey to parenthood
00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:33.700
and actually it's astounding how many women can resonate and offer a little
00:25:33.700 --> 00:25:38.300
bit of advice support you know this worked for me have you tried this I actually
00:25:38.300 --> 00:25:41.060
spoke to this person you know I've got this you know,
00:25:42.271 --> 00:25:44.971
magic cream to tell you about that helps with
00:25:44.971 --> 00:25:49.231
recipes or you know whatever comes up in these conversations and i think actually
00:25:49.231 --> 00:25:53.251
it's just about not feeling alone in your journey we have whatsapp boots for
00:25:53.251 --> 00:25:58.691
every every venue as well so they can connect us it's actually just giving women
00:25:58.691 --> 00:26:02.711
that space to come and actually connect with their bump and other people and other women and.
00:26:03.291 --> 00:26:06.431
Acknowledging that actually everybody's journey is different that there's so
00:26:06.431 --> 00:26:10.071
many similarities that run between people and and actually getting a little
00:26:10.071 --> 00:26:14.791
bit of me too in all of that and getting some yeah support it doesn't you know
00:26:14.791 --> 00:26:15.971
you don't have to come in and be.
00:26:16.491 --> 00:26:19.251
Happy and cheery every week you can come in and have a bit of a bit of
00:26:19.251 --> 00:26:22.071
a cry if you need to and you know we're there to just give a big group
00:26:22.071 --> 00:26:25.411
hug oh that's so beautiful and so
00:26:25.411 --> 00:26:28.531
powerful that sense of community
00:26:28.531 --> 00:26:31.731
and I love the fact that you don't have to be into the gym to
00:26:31.731 --> 00:26:35.291
keep fitting healthy during and yeah that
00:26:35.291 --> 00:26:38.451
there are there are other ways of just connecting with
00:26:38.451 --> 00:26:42.431
your bump and kind to keep moving during pregnancy yeah
00:26:42.431 --> 00:26:45.331
so it's a nice form of exercise
00:26:45.331 --> 00:26:48.711
to continue all the way through as well because you've got that
00:26:48.711 --> 00:26:51.691
weightlessness you can come literally until after your
00:26:51.691 --> 00:26:54.511
sort of due date if you want to call it that expected date that
00:26:54.511 --> 00:26:57.831
baby may be born around you've got that consistency you
00:26:57.831 --> 00:27:01.351
know with the sort of weightlessness and that activity right
00:27:01.351 --> 00:27:04.091
up until baby's born you know as long as your water's not gone
00:27:04.091 --> 00:27:06.811
you welcome in and I think it takes a bit of that sort of
00:27:06.811 --> 00:27:09.611
just sitting and waiting away doesn't it because we all know we've
00:27:09.611 --> 00:27:13.111
been there just kind of wondering when this baby's going to arrive yes
00:27:13.111 --> 00:27:17.591
absolutely and that connection to just kind of air some of those concerns and
00:27:17.591 --> 00:27:25.271
worries is just incredibly important oh my final question to you is looking
00:27:25.271 --> 00:27:29.411
back now and through all of your experience and obviously all the women that
00:27:29.411 --> 00:27:32.011
you've noted and supported and your own experience,
00:27:32.251 --> 00:27:34.851
what advice would you give.
00:27:35.871 --> 00:27:38.931
Yourself at that point that you were expecting for the first time?
00:27:40.705 --> 00:27:46.425
I think the biggest bit is remember that your importance as well.
00:27:46.925 --> 00:27:51.525
You know, you're growing this baby and often antenatal appointments and stands
00:27:51.525 --> 00:27:54.385
are focused around your little one and how they're growing.
00:27:54.945 --> 00:28:00.105
I think remember that you're in there too and actually, you know, look after yourself.
00:28:00.805 --> 00:28:04.745
Talk about you at antenatal appointments as well as kind of how baby's getting on.
00:28:05.605 --> 00:28:09.865
Be kind to yourself. You know, lots of things will change that are out of your control.
00:28:10.805 --> 00:28:14.485
All of it's normal. You've grown a baby and it's massive and it's amazing.
00:28:15.525 --> 00:28:19.625
So just look after yourself, both in pregnancy and afterwards as well.
00:28:20.285 --> 00:28:23.905
Like we were saying, don't compare. Everybody's journey is different and you're
00:28:23.905 --> 00:28:27.365
absolutely smashing it. Whatever your journey looks like, you're doing such a great job.
00:28:27.585 --> 00:28:31.485
It's an absolutely massive transition becoming a parent.
00:28:31.805 --> 00:28:35.285
Whether that's first time or whether you're managing a driver of three or four,
00:28:35.445 --> 00:28:36.885
everything changes, doesn't it?
00:28:36.885 --> 00:28:39.705
You have on your little one so you know on the days where
00:28:39.705 --> 00:28:42.605
you need a bit of a pajama and a netflix they take it you
00:28:42.605 --> 00:28:45.445
know and other days where you feel like you can get out and get to a group or
00:28:45.445 --> 00:28:49.465
have a walk or some fresh air and absolutely you
00:28:49.465 --> 00:28:53.885
know just take it day by day reach out to people you'd be surprised at how many
00:28:53.885 --> 00:28:57.745
people um are in the same position or feeling the same or had a bad night i
00:28:57.745 --> 00:29:00.705
think sometimes at 3 a.m when you're sitting there and you've been up for the
00:29:00.705 --> 00:29:03.885
last three hours you feel like you're the only person on the planet that's that's
00:29:03.885 --> 00:29:06.765
up don't you yeah so i think
00:29:06.885 --> 00:29:10.765
it's that thing of you're really not alone and only of this there's lots of
00:29:10.765 --> 00:29:13.345
parents out there that have probably been at the same amount of time as you
00:29:13.345 --> 00:29:14.645
and feel exactly the same.
00:29:15.585 --> 00:29:18.625
Oh lucy that's amazing i i certainly
00:29:18.625 --> 00:29:21.745
won't be adding to my my family anytime
00:29:21.745 --> 00:29:25.125
soon but i you know i wish you had been my midwife
00:29:25.125 --> 00:29:28.605
because it's just so lovely to hear
00:29:28.605 --> 00:29:31.345
how passionate you are about supporting women on
00:29:31.345 --> 00:29:34.265
their journey and just how caring and
00:29:34.265 --> 00:29:37.105
holistic that you make that approach please so thank you
00:29:37.105 --> 00:29:40.605
so much for joining us on by your side oh
00:29:40.605 --> 00:29:43.745
you're more than welcome I've had a lovely morning thank you for having me you're
00:29:43.745 --> 00:29:46.445
welcome if this episode gave you something to
00:29:46.445 --> 00:29:51.825
think about made you feel a little more human or helped you feel a little less
00:29:51.825 --> 00:29:57.085
alone it would mean so much if you could like subscribe or leave a quick review
00:29:57.085 --> 00:30:02.245
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00:30:02.245 --> 00:30:06.025
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00:30:06.045 --> 00:30:09.725
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00:30:13.685 --> 00:30:20.405
Until next time, you've got this and we've got you right here by your side.
00:30:21.045 --> 00:30:25.625
Just a quick note before we finish. What you hear on this podcast is here to
00:30:25.625 --> 00:30:28.385
support you, not to replace professional advice.
00:30:28.985 --> 00:30:32.845
Everyone's situation is different. So if you're worried about your own well-being
00:30:32.845 --> 00:30:36.585
or your babies, please speak to a qualified healthcare provider.
00:30:36.825 --> 00:30:39.385
You deserve support that's tailored to you.