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Hello, everybody. And this is
Stacy from the advisor today.
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I'm very excited because we have
a very special guest today. It
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is Michael Min and he is an
inspirational motivational
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speaker on the subject of
addiction. And today I'm very
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honored to have him on my show.
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He's gonna tell you a little
about himself and what he does
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and he has an incredible story
to share. So hold your seats and
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hold on to your pants because he
's going to take you away to a
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story that you is gonna make
your mouth drop and you're just
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gonna want some more. So
Michael, tell everybody a little
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about yourself and what you do.
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Well, Stacey, thank you so much
for having me on. I really
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appreciate all the things that
you do and getting the word out
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and your platform and how it
reaches so many people. So, here
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at to the rock, we're we're very
grateful to be a part of this.
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So, you know, you know, I'm, you
know, I'm an addict, you know,
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and, and I'm, I'm addicted to
everything.
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And so, just a real short, you
know, a short piece of my story
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is, is that, you know, I, I grew
up on the wrong side of the
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tracks. I, I grew up in a well
to do, family, you know, and so
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we had money and, and, you know,
on the outside grew up in
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country clubs. I grew up, you
know, gambling.
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I grew up playing golf and grew
up, you know, with real estate
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tycoons and, you know, these men
in the locker rooms, they, they
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taught me how to, gamble and
drink, and how to treat women
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and they taught me how to die.
And so little did I know, you
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know, where that coaching would
lead me, to, a 27 arrest and
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homeless and then, sentenced,
you know, to prison as a result
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of, of drugs and alcohol.
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So it's, you know, my story is
not unique, I'm not unique.
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But apparently the public,
thinks I've got a story, you
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know, like Forrest Gump, you
know, I was on the caddy on the
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pro golf tour and then one of
the most well known, you know,
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high end, you know, luxury home
builders in the area, you know,
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building very, the air was real
thin for the people who I built
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homes for, you know, in the
park, cities, in Dallas, in
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Highland Park and University
Park.
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And, and so, you know, it's, it
's real money, you know, they
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got and they can afford it. And
that's, that's just their level
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of, of, of living. So, you know,
that's where I came from.
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And, you know, I had this
awakening while incarcerated,
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that, you know, had this
spiritual awakening. You know, I
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didn't grow up in the church and
one trauma I didn't have was
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religious trauma. You know, I
grew up, let me back up a little
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bit.
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I, when I was growing up, on the
outside, everything appeared to
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be normal, the perfect family
but behind closed doors, there
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was abuse. And from the, as long
as I remember as a child, I was
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sexually abused by my
grandfather on the maternal
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side.
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And he was a cop and so it was a
first time I kept a secret and
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I, I held that trauma and pain
and suffering, for a long, long
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time. And, you know, and, and
so, you know, to find relief, I
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was searching for visible things
to try to fix my invisible
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problems. And so, drugs and
alcohol, were my, became my
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drugs, you know, my, my doc
which is a drug of choice and,
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you know, and that led me down
to, the rock bottom.
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And so, so as I was incarcerated
after the 27th mug shot, I am,
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you know, I had the spiritual
awakening. I am second, I did a
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film about this, a nine minute
film, you know, about it and,
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and I had this spiritual
awakening and it, and it wasn't
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like, you know, Christ, you
know, come into my life. It
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wasn't that it just happened.
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And as a result of it, I was
reading to inmates who couldn't
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read or write and I found
myself, you know, you know,
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doing easy time and it, and it,
I realized that, you know, four
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or five days later, the reason
why I was doing easy time. Stacy
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was because I was in the safest
place in the world and that was
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right here right now as a result
of serving others expecting
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nothing in return because I
always wanted what you had.
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So, and then I'll get to, I'll,
you know, after this awakening
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and, and, and reading to, you
know, to the tank and listen, I
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wasn't this this jailhouse
preacher quoting scripture and
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all that stuff and, and I don't
do that today, you know. And,
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and, you know, when I say Jesus,
it comes out norm just
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naturally, like I say, Stacy,
you know, it just comes out, you
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know, naturally I don't use him
as a marketing tool.
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But, you know, one thing that I
did realize is that when I had
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that awakening, I felt this
forgiveness and this peace. We
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talk about that, that void in
our heart that that, that dark
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space that I kept trying to fill
and it was, it was filled with
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the spirit and as a result of
forgiveness, Matthew 614 and 15.
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1st place, you know, I was state
first person in the state of
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Texas history to be accidentally
released from prison.
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And so made the journey 300
miles back to judge Bennett who
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is my professional photographer
of all my mug shots and, and but
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I, I made the journey back at
300 miles to turn myself in and,
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and she had heard what had
happened to me and she saw the
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transformation just in my eyes,
you know, you, you feel it, you
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know, when someone's an act of
addiction, you can see it,
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right?
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And also when someone's in
recovery, you can see it. And so
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she she set me free and, and
said, you know, go pay it
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forward and that's what I'm
doing today.
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That's beautiful. It's an
amazing story, you know, go
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ahead.
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No, go, I mean it, yeah, II I
still pinch myself and you know,
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it's, you know, I didn't have a
business plan when I was locked
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up, you know, none of this, you
know, M two. The rock is, you
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know, of course, my name's
Michael Multan. So M two.
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And the rock, I finally realized
that all these times I was
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hitting my head on this rock at
the bottom. It was the same
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rock. And then I finally
realized that all these times it
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was God at the bottom. So I
stayed there and I let Godly men
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bring me out and they were
prisoners who were doing life
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for murder who helped me?
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Wow, that's amazing. It, it's
really hard because, you know,
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there's so many people, 70% of
people come from dysfunctional
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homes and there are so many
people out there that use, you
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know, drugs and alcohol as a
coping mechanism. Even people
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who just have hard days at work
and they're just under high
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levels of stress.
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So many people grab alcohol, you
know, or certain types of drugs
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just to get the edge off, you
know, and no one realizes the
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consequences and how easily you
could become addicted, you know,
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and like you mentioned an
addictive personality, there are
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lots of people out there that
have addictive personalities,
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you know, that can so easily
become addicted to, to things.
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And then there are people who
just use it because they just
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can't cope, they don't know how
to cope, you know, because
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they're hurting so bad.
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That's right. That's right. And
I can relate to all that and,
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you know, it leads into, you
know, what I do today, you know,
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I, I'm a, they say I'm an
inspirational motivational
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speaker and author. But I go
speak and, and, and the tour is
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surrounded by, we are all
addicts, ok? All, we are all
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addicts, you know, drugs and
alcohol.
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You know, it has a stigma, it
has a stigma to it because of,
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our behaviors are so severe and
then the consequences are so
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severe. And so it's kind of set
that bar that, that high. And
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they say, well, if I don't do
this, you know, I'm not an
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addict, I don't have addictive
personality, you know. And, and
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that's completely wrong because
addiction is simply the street
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name for spiritual stronghold or
false idols.
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And I can break it down even
more simple. Is that addiction?
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It's a person, it's a place, it
's a thing and here's a scary
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one, Stacey or a thought that
becomes my source. So when I am
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reaching for these visible
things to try to fix the
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invisible problem, I'm an active
addiction.
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So I always say when I wake up
in the morning and my eyes are
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open, I'm in full blown relapse.
But, but recovery is I recognize
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the behaviors, you know, if I'm
wanting to go buy something and
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I don't need it. And I'm like I
look at myself, why, why am I
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gonna go buy this? You know, I
don't, I don't, I don't need
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this. You know what it is is I'm
trying to change the way I feel
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right?
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And a lot of people go from one
addiction to the next addiction,
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you know, when they're in
recovery, you know, they they
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swap addictions, not even, you
know, realizing it because it's
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just that the mentality, it's,
it's breaking that addiction,
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that behavioral, addiction that
we carry is very hard to do.
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And that there's a name to that
and it's called cross addiction.
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You know, and it's also relapse,
I mean, full blown relapse. And
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if I don't catch it, all right,
I will end up back drinking and
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drugging because I want more and
more and more and more and more.
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And I forget, you know, that
the, the, the solution is, is
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the the main core root of what
the real problem is for me. All
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right. And I hope your, you
know, viewers understand this is
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that I'm in fear, that's what it
is. I'm in fear and, and I
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don't, I didn't have the tools
on how to process fear.
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And so the solution to fear is
real simple is to talk about it,
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you know, with the counselor or
a therapist or, or a mentor in
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the recovery world, they have
sponsors and you know, you li
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you call that sponsor and a
mentor and you say, hey, you
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know, I'm, I'm in fear and I'm
thinking about some things.
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And the sponsor will literally
say you're making this up,
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you're making this up and you
feel better, you feel better
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because you talked about it. It
doesn't grow legs, you know,
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your thoughts don't become your
actions. And you know, that's
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what I, I work on.
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Today, I think it's so
important, you know, for people
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to be able to talk about it. So
many people keep their pains
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inside and they don't let go.
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And that's why I think group
therapy or being able to have a
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therapist or even have your
sponsor is so important because
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once you, it's very hard to get
those repressed emotions, all
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those things that happen to you
and have things that happen to
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me and things that happen to
other people.
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You know, a lot of times you
repress all those emotions and,
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and that's one of the root qual
that brought you to where you're
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at, you know, in your worst
times. And the thing is, how do
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we release that?
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There are so many people that
have gone through so much
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because everybody has a story.
But, you know, there are so many
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people out there that use
addiction and they use, used,
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you know, drugs and alcohol as a
way to cope.
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But how, you know, they say you
have to hit rock bottom. But if
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you recognize you have a
problem, you know, can you save
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yourself before that? Can you
maybe get the help you need and
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be able to get that repression
and all those emotions out.
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Oh, well, said that is our
slogan is, you know, into the
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rock is raising, we wanna raise
the meaning of rock bottom. And
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what that means is we wanna
raise the bottom. Ok.
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And in getting our message out
there, to people who, still have
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everything, you know, they still
have everything and to, go man,
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I hear his story and I don't, I
don't want that to happen to me
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or people hear it like I used to
do when I had a lot of money and
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I was successful by the worldly
standards. Ok.
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But, is that I would hear, you
know, stories of, of like mine
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and I go, man, that's horrible.
I'll never be like that yet. Ok.
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Which is an acronym for you're
eligible too. And so, you know,
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so we, that's what we, that is
my, one of my missions is to
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raise the meaning of rock
bottom.
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But, but you're exactly right.
And so to answer what answer
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your original question is, is
how do we do that? Is that we
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educate, you know, we educate
and, and we get it out there
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and, and it's, it's, it's ok to
talk about it. It's ok to, you
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know, asking for help is that
slogan?
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And that is accurate and that
does work. But here's what saved
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my life. This is where the
transformation came for me is
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when I said these three words, I
don't know.
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Ok, I don't know why I'm doing
the things I'm doing and I'm
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00:13:06,650 --> 00:13:11,169
willing to go to any length to
change and I know it's going to
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be painful, you know, and it's
temp, it's, it's just growth, it
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's like working out, you know,
to get your muscles bigger, you
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add more weight. And so, you
know, you know, phases of
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recovery, there's the detox
phase. Ok. That's the physical
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pain.
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There is the honeymoon phase
which is where the, where the
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dopamine is rapidly rebuilding
in your brain and it exceeds its
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normal balance because you're
like, man, this is great, you
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know, I love being sober, but
then that recorrect itself and
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then that's where the wall phase
comes in. It's like, man, is
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this what recovery is all about?
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And that's why it's so
important, you know, in all
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phases, but that's why it's so
important to plugged into a
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support group. And, and with a,
with a mentor or therapist
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counsel or sponsor whatever it
is to be there during that wall
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phase because that's where we
take risk and we go do it moral
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inventory on ourselves. And when
we do that, I get to answer the
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question.
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Now, I see why I see why I, I
did. And, you know, I find out
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what my character defects are
and my character defects. That's
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what relapse behaviors are. You
know, I mean, so all the way
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down to, if you know Stacy, if,
if I start cussing, OK, if I
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start cussing, I'm in fear, I
mean, it's literally, that's, I
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mean, you know, I've dissected
it down that tight in my life.
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And so, you know, and I, I've
got to, I got to talk about it
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but it talking about it. It has
been real hard for me because I
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have true childhood trauma, ok,
real childhood trauma that, you
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know, affected mental health.
And that's another thing we, we
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got to address in our next show
is mental health.
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Remove that stigma. But, you
know, and so then when I drank
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alcohol and I did drugs, I
started to feel like you looked
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right. I wanted my insides to
match your outsides. And so, and
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when I did that in order to keep
that feeling, what did I do?
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I would do more and more and
more. Ok? Then I had
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consequences. Ok? And so I would
drink more to feel good about
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the bad decisions I was making
and then I would drink and do
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more drugs because I was
creating self-inflicted trauma.
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So now you've got this spiral
web of all this stuff and you're
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trapped and it leads to suicide.
I mean, it will lead to jails,
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institutions or death. Because
we would truly think that we're
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bad people. No, recovery is not
about getting good. Ok? It's
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about getting well, that's
simple. 100%. We're not bad
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people.
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No. You know, and I think that's
what people think. Sometimes
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they, they, they, we sometimes
people can be their own worst
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critics of themselves, you know.
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Right. Here. I mean, I, I still
struggle with it to this day,
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you know, II, I I want to use
the word struggle. Let me change
262
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the word smithing. It's a
challenge for me. It's an
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opportunity for me to grow. You
know, I think one of the, I
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recognize it. I recognize it.
That's the great thing I
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recognize.
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Yeah, that's very important. And
II, I think one of the things
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too is, is realizing that the
past is the past. You can't
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change the past. You can focus
on the present and you can make
269
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changes for the present to make
a fruitful and, and positive
270
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future for yourself. Because too
many people live in the past.
271
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They dwell in the past, easier
said than done. But somehow you
272
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have to let go knowing that we
can't change what has happened,
273
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you know, but we have to, we
have to learn how to cope with
274
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that pain, all those things that
happened when you were growing
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up, all those things that
happened. You know, how do you
276
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deal with that pain?
277
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How do you let go of that pain
and, and getting that pain out
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of you and then releasing it? I
think, you know, it makes a big
279
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impact and then kind of freeing
yourself from every everything
280
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that's happened. And I think
forgiveness is a part of it too.
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I feel like if we don't, we
don't have to hear someone say I
282
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forgive you.
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But I think we need to either
forgive ourselves for the
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actions that we've done to and,
and maybe the actions we
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afflicted on others or we need
to forgive people who have done
286
00:17:28,324 --> 00:17:31,790
things to us and we don't have
to hear them say, I'm sorry, but
287
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we have to try to learn how to
forgive them and, and release
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00:17:36,109 --> 00:17:37,819
it. I think. What do you think
about that?
289
00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:41,079
No, it's beautiful. I mean, I, I
can't count on that. I mean,
290
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you're, you're exactly right
and, you know, you know,
291
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forgiveness sets us free.
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And, but, but we don't forget,
ok, we have a mem, we have a
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brain and, and, you know, where
there's memory there and we, we
294
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don't forget, but we forgive
because when I forgave
295
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everybody, the supernatural
happens, I mean, the
296
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:09,069
supernatural, you know, when,
when I forgave everybody, you
297
00:18:09,079 --> 00:18:13,729
know, you know, for, you know,
Matthew six, you know, 14, this
298
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is my translation.
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He says, he goes, if you forgive
the ones who have hurt you and
300
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the next verse says I'll bless
your game. He said, you know,
301
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because God can't do anything
with me if I'm holding on to
302
00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:30,869
resentment and anger. Ok, if I'm
holding on to that, it blocks me
303
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from the supernatural, the
spiritual life.
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And so when we do forgive that,
then he uses us, he uses us to
305
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go pay it forward, where we get
to share that story of, of
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00:18:44,209 --> 00:18:47,949
forgiveness. And, you know, I
even got deeper, you know,
307
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regarding my, my grandfather,
you know, and, you know, when we
308
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have a resentment Stacy towards
a person, place, thing,
309
00:18:54,619 --> 00:18:58,819
institution, whatever it is, it
's because I play a role in it,
310
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I play a role in it.
311
00:19:00,489 --> 00:19:04,280
You know, if I loan someone $5
ok, and they don't pay me back
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and I'm resentful at them, you
know, with the role I played in
313
00:19:06,849 --> 00:19:10,750
it, I loaned them the money, you
know, and so the role I played
314
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:15,089
in it with my grandfather was
simply this, I chose to hold on
315
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to the resentment.
316
00:19:16,969 --> 00:19:20,349
I chose to hold on to it. And
that's the role I played in it.
317
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:26,330
And once that was set free, it,
it's just been amazing where it
318
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:29,170
's a, it's just a, a really free
life.
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00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:33,579
So I think holding on to
resentment is, is the worst
320
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feeling. I think that that
destroys a person inside is when
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we hold on to resentment, we
don't realize how destructive it
322
00:19:40,469 --> 00:19:44,000
could be because every single
day, whether you realize it or
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00:19:44,010 --> 00:19:47,380
not, it's eating at you. It's,
it's literally eaten at you.
324
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:52,390
Well, resentment is a symptom of
fear, unresolved fear. So when I
325
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,750
break down fear, it's an
opportunity. It's the
326
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,890
opportunity for my faith to grow
or it's an opportunity for me to
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00:19:57,900 --> 00:20:02,250
go to prison. Ok? I mean, that
's, that is it. And So if I
328
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:06,050
don't do anything with the
emotion or feeling of fear, ok?
329
00:20:06,099 --> 00:20:09,479
It turns into a resentment. If I
don't do anything with that, it
330
00:20:09,489 --> 00:20:12,589
turns into anger. If I don't do
anything with anger, it turns
331
00:20:12,599 --> 00:20:17,959
into rage, then the isolation
and then into paranoia. Ok? And
332
00:20:17,969 --> 00:20:21,599
that paranoia state is where the
thoughts that are in my head. I
333
00:20:21,609 --> 00:20:25,380
really believe them and they're
in my own voice, you know.
334
00:20:26,199 --> 00:20:29,109
As simple as sending, I always
use the example of sending a
335
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:33,989
text to your loved one. Let's
say your boyfriend or your
336
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,270
girlfriend, you know, you send a
text, I love you. And they don't
337
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,140
respond and you go through all
these stages and then you get to
338
00:20:40,150 --> 00:20:41,869
paranoia stage. All right.
339
00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:45,209
And you truly think that they've
left with another man or another
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00:20:45,219 --> 00:20:48,739
woman. I mean, that's where we
go and then we end up shooting
341
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dope in our arm and getting
arrested and she comes, she or
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00:20:52,890 --> 00:20:55,619
he comes down to visit us and
said what what happened? They
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00:20:55,630 --> 00:21:00,640
said you didn't return my text.
I'm sorry, but I lost my phone.
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00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,420
It's, that's, you know, it, it
blows up and you know, that is
345
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,500
that didn't happen to me but
that, but that's really, that's
346
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a simple example of what we do.
So what is the solution to that?
347
00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:17,010
Talk about it? You know, when we
get that paranoid day, we we
348
00:21:17,020 --> 00:21:18,329
call that that person.
349
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:23,089
And say, hey, I'm in my head
right now. And, you know, and if
350
00:21:23,099 --> 00:21:26,400
that situation said, called me,
I said, ok, you said you love
351
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:29,829
her, but you didn't ask a
question, you didn't have to
352
00:21:29,839 --> 00:21:33,689
respond. You know? And so, and
that's where we learned, that
353
00:21:33,729 --> 00:21:37,609
expectations always sets us up
for resentment, always.
354
00:21:38,709 --> 00:21:40,770
And that's a very good
statement. You know, we don't
355
00:21:40,780 --> 00:21:44,060
have expectations, then we can't
get disappointed. It's when we
356
00:21:44,069 --> 00:21:47,250
set expectations on others and
they don't meet up to what we
357
00:21:47,260 --> 00:21:51,489
think they should meet up. That
's when we fall into that trap
358
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:54,489
of, of those negative emotions
that follow.
359
00:21:55,290 --> 00:21:55,969
That's right.
360
00:21:56,780 --> 00:22:00,109
So it's, you know, and so that
's, that's what I love to talk
361
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:04,540
about is, is, is that we are all
addicts. And so, you know, and
362
00:22:04,550 --> 00:22:08,000
that, you know, the seeking the
invisible, you know, here, here
363
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:12,239
's the deal, Stacey, my goal is,
is, is not to influence others.
364
00:22:12,250 --> 00:22:14,239
Ok? I don't have that kind of
power, right?
365
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:20,229
My goal is not to be popular,
you know, a celebrity, you know,
366
00:22:20,239 --> 00:22:23,479
my God is, he's not interested
in celebrities, he's interested
367
00:22:23,489 --> 00:22:27,790
in servants. Ok? And so that's
not my goal. But my goal is to
368
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:33,630
simply help people see life
through God's perspective and
369
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not the world's or cultures, you
know, perspective.
370
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And so that is, that's what I
lived my whole life in and when
371
00:22:42,290 --> 00:22:44,949
I start seeing that and what
that means is like when stuff I
372
00:22:44,959 --> 00:22:48,349
think is bad happening, right?
And things that are done to me
373
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,920
that aren't OK. Why would a God
allow that to happen? A loving
374
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good God.
375
00:22:53,050 --> 00:22:56,390
But when I look at it through
his perspective, as crazy as
376
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,520
stuff is if I look at it through
his perspective, I go and I'm
377
00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:04,069
connected, I'm like going I see
you, I see you and then I get to
378
00:23:04,079 --> 00:23:09,349
share those stories on platforms
like this, you know, because my
379
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:13,400
grandfather's story is saving a
lot of people's lives for sure.
380
00:23:13,839 --> 00:23:16,390
It's unbelievable because I'm
looking at it through God's
381
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:17,030
perspective.
382
00:23:17,390 --> 00:23:17,930
Yeah.
383
00:23:17,939 --> 00:23:22,810
And, and I've met so many people
that had similar situations
384
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:26,560
happen to them and people keep
it for secrets, you know, for
385
00:23:26,569 --> 00:23:32,050
years and even people had that,
you know, they may have not
386
00:23:32,349 --> 00:23:37,349
touched them but they, they
were, they were, they went past
387
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:41,510
the bar, let's say, and, and
then the other person, you know,
388
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:47,239
that child, you know, or that
teenager realizes that and the
389
00:23:47,250 --> 00:23:50,540
experience, the trauma that
those, those, those seconds,
390
00:23:50,550 --> 00:23:52,739
those minutes never leave their
head.
391
00:23:53,209 --> 00:23:56,369
And, you know, and, and, and it
can really, it can really
392
00:23:56,380 --> 00:24:00,020
traumatize someone their entire
life, it could traumatize them,
393
00:24:00,030 --> 00:24:04,359
you know, even there in
adulthood, in, in relationships,
394
00:24:04,369 --> 00:24:07,859
you know, and it could destroy
you if you don't get the right.
395
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,840
And, and that's so well said
because it's, you know, it's, it
396
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:16,359
's, it's very, you know, keeping
those secrets and, and you know,
397
00:24:16,369 --> 00:24:19,290
and, and talking about it and no
one's gonna believe me, you
398
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:21,000
know, that's what I struggle
with, you know, no one's gonna
399
00:24:21,010 --> 00:24:25,099
believe me and, you know, and,
and, and my, my mission, my
400
00:24:25,109 --> 00:24:28,819
mission also have a lot of
missions, you know, another
401
00:24:28,930 --> 00:24:33,170
mission is that, you know, I'm
not trying to demonize anyone.
402
00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:36,030
I'm not trying to demonize my
mom and dad. I'm not trying to,
403
00:24:36,859 --> 00:24:40,890
you know, campaign against, you
know, child molesters. Ok? And
404
00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:42,430
what does that, what does that
look like?
405
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:46,920
Now that I see it through God's
perspective? All right, what
406
00:24:46,930 --> 00:24:52,310
that looks like is like, wow,
what did my mom go through? You
407
00:24:52,319 --> 00:24:55,040
know, because of what she did to
me, you know, I mean, I couldn't
408
00:24:55,050 --> 00:24:58,390
imagine what she went through,
you know, and what my, what my
409
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,140
dad, you know, and so when I
look at it through that
410
00:25:01,150 --> 00:25:04,959
perspective, I get some, you
know, relief, you know, because,
411
00:25:05,089 --> 00:25:07,810
hey, resentment, anger is a
luxury I don't have anymore.
412
00:25:08,180 --> 00:25:11,670
I don't have II I can't. And,
you know, it's killing the
413
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,760
entire human race. I'm not big
on opinion, but it's resentment.
414
00:25:15,979 --> 00:25:17,540
I mean, that's what's killing
the human race.
415
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:22,640
It is and you see it every day
and it was when, when I learned
416
00:25:22,650 --> 00:25:25,199
how to let go of anger and I
brought forgiveness into my
417
00:25:25,209 --> 00:25:28,579
life. I think it, it, it turned
me into a completely different
418
00:25:28,589 --> 00:25:31,420
person and it's like it's a
powerful thing when you can
419
00:25:31,430 --> 00:25:34,459
take, when you can release that
anger and you can bring
420
00:25:34,469 --> 00:25:37,099
forgiveness into your life no
matter what you've been through.
421
00:25:38,140 --> 00:25:41,849
And not point the finger and try
to blame people and just, just
422
00:25:41,859 --> 00:25:46,589
work on what happened, work on
releasing the anger and then
423
00:25:46,599 --> 00:25:49,489
learn how to deal with stress I
think is a big issue, especially
424
00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:52,750
for addicts because we're always
going to be followed by stress.
425
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,500
Stress is just a part of
everyday life.
426
00:25:55,510 --> 00:25:59,574
But how do you deal with stress
without grabbing the bottle or
427
00:25:59,584 --> 00:26:02,474
without grabbing a drink or
without going to drugs? You
428
00:26:02,484 --> 00:26:05,484
know, because some people, the
moment stress enters their life,
429
00:26:05,494 --> 00:26:07,915
they just don't know how to
cope. So the first thing that an
430
00:26:07,925 --> 00:26:10,854
addict does is they, they grab
something that's going to
431
00:26:10,864 --> 00:26:13,295
relieve them and help them cope
with it. So they don't have to
432
00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:15,035
feel that stress.
433
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,869
You know, and I, hey, listen, I
recognize it because I do it and
434
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,469
I did it ok. I mean, not drugs
and alcohol but you know what
435
00:26:22,479 --> 00:26:26,010
I'm saying? I, I catch myself,
you know, and you're doing it
436
00:26:26,229 --> 00:26:30,770
and it's you know, like it's
easy, you know.
437
00:26:30,780 --> 00:26:35,680
So if I were to give us a a
suggestion on how to forgive,
438
00:26:36,099 --> 00:26:40,810
what works for me is the first
thing is to look at the role I
439
00:26:40,819 --> 00:26:46,209
play in it. And when I see the
role I play in it and then I
440
00:26:46,219 --> 00:26:51,260
accept it and then when I've
truly accepted it, there are no
441
00:26:51,270 --> 00:26:54,869
resentments. So true. Acceptance
has no resentments.
442
00:26:55,199 --> 00:26:59,310
That's what true acceptance is.
And so, you know, that, that's
443
00:26:59,319 --> 00:27:01,579
where, you know, I hear to say,
you know, praying for him for
444
00:27:01,589 --> 00:27:05,869
two weeks. Ok. And, and it'll go
away, you know. Ok. God, please
445
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,780
give them pancreatic cancer and
they die a miserable death. You
446
00:27:08,790 --> 00:27:10,219
know what I mean? Yeah.
447
00:27:11,510 --> 00:27:14,199
But, you know, have run off a
car, you know, highway or
448
00:27:14,209 --> 00:27:18,260
something like that. But, but
no, as soon as I look at the
449
00:27:18,270 --> 00:27:22,150
role I play in it and accept
that and that's where the
450
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,520
freedom comes. That doesn't mean
we go hang out with them. No,
451
00:27:25,530 --> 00:27:28,579
I'm not suggesting that that's,
that God will make that bright
452
00:27:28,589 --> 00:27:29,140
and clear.
453
00:27:29,390 --> 00:27:34,180
But, but the, but because it's
about you being free. And then
454
00:27:34,189 --> 00:27:36,880
here's the other thing is, is
that, you know, why haven't
455
00:27:36,890 --> 00:27:40,239
these people, you know,
apologized to me? Hey, here's
456
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:44,979
the deal. If you think someone
owes you an apology, that means
457
00:27:44,989 --> 00:27:48,439
I have a resentment towards
them. If I think someone, this
458
00:27:48,449 --> 00:27:51,380
person owes me an apology, that
means I have a resentment.
459
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:56,290
And you see that all the time,
you know, a lot of people want
460
00:27:56,300 --> 00:28:00,020
that apology. You know, and I've
come to, you know, learn that it
461
00:28:00,020 --> 00:28:03,699
's not, we don't have to hear
them say it. We have to learn to
462
00:28:03,709 --> 00:28:07,079
forgive. And like you said, that
was, I was gonna ask you, you
463
00:28:07,089 --> 00:28:11,199
know, to give us a good example
of, of how to get over and, and
464
00:28:11,209 --> 00:28:13,300
be able a step towards
forgiveness.
465
00:28:13,310 --> 00:28:16,900
And you just, you just said it
right now and because I think
466
00:28:16,910 --> 00:28:20,160
that's very important, you know,
and, and, and that's a great,
467
00:28:20,170 --> 00:28:23,640
that's a great example, you
know, and just to be able to
468
00:28:23,650 --> 00:28:28,800
take that, understand, you know,
and in your own eyes, realize
469
00:28:28,810 --> 00:28:33,319
how you took a part in it and
then, and then let it go and,
470
00:28:33,329 --> 00:28:39,040
and say, ok, I, you know, they
did this, I did this and, you
471
00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:43,719
know, and I forgive myself for
doing this and, you know, I
472
00:28:43,729 --> 00:28:46,160
don't hold resentments towards
the other person.
473
00:28:46,170 --> 00:28:48,369
Is that how you would go about
it? Is that where?
474
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,640
Yeah, I mean, I would even break
it down even, you know, more
475
00:28:51,650 --> 00:28:56,329
simple is that, you know, I'm
resentful at this person
476
00:28:56,339 --> 00:29:00,380
because, and this is the role
that I play in it. That's, that
477
00:29:00,380 --> 00:29:02,920
's it. I've got to accept the
role I play in it.
478
00:29:03,060 --> 00:29:07,910
But the, the sooner I can do
that ex except the role that I
479
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:14,290
play in it, the forgiveness,
grabs a hold, you know, and then
480
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:19,310
sometimes, sometimes Stacy,
sometimes what the people that
481
00:29:19,319 --> 00:29:23,630
I'm resentful for once I work
through that I actually owe them
482
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:29,339
an amends, you know, sometimes I
owe them an amends and, but, but
483
00:29:29,349 --> 00:29:31,750
yeah, that's, that's my
suggestion on that. Go ahead.
484
00:29:32,250 --> 00:29:35,250
No, I, I like that. I like, I
like that, you know, you broke
485
00:29:35,260 --> 00:29:39,390
it down even simpler and then,
and it's, you know, you, you
486
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:44,270
realize your part in it and then
you forget, you know, you, you
487
00:29:44,709 --> 00:29:48,579
basically forgive yourself for
and, and make amends with
488
00:29:48,589 --> 00:29:52,670
yourself and, and then you kind
of set it free in a sense.
489
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:56,619
Is that, that's exactly right.
You know, so if I pull out, if
490
00:29:56,630 --> 00:29:59,250
I'm driving and I pull out in
front of someone and they're
491
00:29:59,260 --> 00:30:02,979
honking at me and, you know, I'm
doing all these hand gestures to
492
00:30:02,989 --> 00:30:05,810
them and I'm resentful at that
person all day long.
493
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:09,589
Ok? And it ruins my day. Well,
there's two things happening
494
00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:15,949
there. What's the real problem
with that guy? Ok. Or, I go, you
495
00:30:15,959 --> 00:30:18,219
know what, here's the role I
played in this.
496
00:30:18,229 --> 00:30:21,579
I pulled out in front of him, I
pulled out, that's the role I
497
00:30:21,589 --> 00:30:25,920
play in it and I'm going to
accept it and it's like, oh, you
498
00:30:25,930 --> 00:30:29,369
know, like, and then, and then
sometimes it, you know, it gets,
499
00:30:29,380 --> 00:30:33,010
you know, deeper, you know, I
always say this is that, is
500
00:30:33,020 --> 00:30:37,979
that, you know, myself my whole
life, I was watering the leaves
501
00:30:37,989 --> 00:30:41,030
of the tree wondering why the
tree was dying.
502
00:30:41,369 --> 00:30:45,020
You know, what's the real root?
You know, we gotta get down to
503
00:30:45,030 --> 00:30:50,619
the root of what the problem is,
and every time it's fear it's,
504
00:30:50,630 --> 00:30:51,300
you know, it's fear.
505
00:30:51,989 --> 00:30:54,530
It is fair. I think fear plays a
big role.
506
00:30:55,290 --> 00:30:58,030
A fear of losing something or,
you know, something's going to
507
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:02,329
be taken away from me and, you
know, I struggle with, I'm a lot
508
00:31:02,339 --> 00:31:05,750
better and, you know,
abandonment issues obviously and
509
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:11,089
then, you know, you know, loud
voices and, you know, fear that,
510
00:31:11,199 --> 00:31:15,209
you know, I'm in, you know, I'm
in a relationship engaged to an
511
00:31:15,219 --> 00:31:18,810
incredible person and when we
have healthy conflict, which is
512
00:31:18,819 --> 00:31:21,739
new, you know, healthy conflict
where we're talking and let's
513
00:31:21,750 --> 00:31:23,650
just say, voice inflection goes
up.
514
00:31:23,930 --> 00:31:28,530
I immediately will go in my head
saying, I'm gonna be homeless.
515
00:31:28,619 --> 00:31:31,819
That's how radical. Sometimes
I'll go in my head, then I had
516
00:31:31,829 --> 00:31:34,949
to calm down and breathe and,
and, and, and I give her a
517
00:31:34,959 --> 00:31:38,060
really good listening to because
she's just trying to share with
518
00:31:38,069 --> 00:31:43,199
me how she feels and because I
listen, she actually helps me.
519
00:31:43,410 --> 00:31:46,160
Right. And plus she's got a
radio and TV background.
520
00:31:46,170 --> 00:31:51,760
Sometimes I don't want to hear
it and a lot of times when I get
521
00:31:51,770 --> 00:31:53,380
amped up, it's because she's
right.
522
00:31:55,250 --> 00:31:58,270
Sometimes the truth could hurt,
you know, even though we know
523
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,750
somebody else is right, we
sometimes don't want to hear it
524
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,290
even though we know that they're
right.
525
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:07,189
Well, well said, well played,
but I'm, I'm lo I'm looking
526
00:32:07,199 --> 00:32:09,680
forward to the next shows and I,
you know, I'd like to tackle,
527
00:32:09,689 --> 00:32:14,520
tackle these tough topics, you
know, and, and, and solutions to
528
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,000
trauma and address, you know,
things that, that people want to
529
00:32:18,010 --> 00:32:24,319
hear that are, they're too, I
don't want scared or embarrassed
530
00:32:24,329 --> 00:32:28,760
or not brave enough to ask, you
know, and, and so, and then the
531
00:32:28,890 --> 00:32:31,550
big thing is, is helping the
families, you know, the families
532
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,329
of the loved ones, you know,
they actually, you know, to
533
00:32:34,339 --> 00:32:35,400
tease that topic.
534
00:32:35,410 --> 00:32:38,849
I mean, the families are
actually sick or sicker than the
535
00:32:38,859 --> 00:32:44,300
actual attic because their drug
of choice is actually the person
536
00:32:44,310 --> 00:32:46,459
who's an active addiction. Yeah.
537
00:32:47,349 --> 00:32:49,489
It's very true. It's very true.
538
00:32:50,349 --> 00:32:52,670
You know, and it, and it's
sometimes hard because if you
539
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,670
come from a dysfunctional
family, you know, it's hard to
540
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,510
separate sometimes yourself from
your family, you don't want to,
541
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,589
but sometimes you have to
separate yourself or give
542
00:33:00,599 --> 00:33:04,329
yourself distance because it's
an unhealthy family role, you
543
00:33:04,339 --> 00:33:07,780
know, you could see them, you
know, and, and say, you know,
544
00:33:07,810 --> 00:33:11,369
and visit for a short period of
time on a, on a, on a holiday or
545
00:33:11,380 --> 00:33:11,790
something.
546
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:16,010
But sometimes being around
somebody, you know, or more than
547
00:33:16,020 --> 00:33:18,939
one person, you know, that has
dysfunctional behavior that
548
00:33:18,949 --> 00:33:22,609
really triggers you in a not so
good way. That's a hard, that's
549
00:33:22,619 --> 00:33:25,510
a hard, that's a hard, you know,
problem that a lot of people
550
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:26,239
tackle.
551
00:33:26,829 --> 00:33:30,489
I love talking about this stuff.
I mean, I love it and, and when
552
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:33,790
I the reason why I love talking
about it is because I use my
553
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:38,439
personal experiences. Ok. II, I
can't, I can't talk about
554
00:33:38,449 --> 00:33:40,989
building a skateboard company.
You know, I don't have a
555
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,650
personal experience, I'm gonna
lie to you. But as far as using
556
00:33:44,660 --> 00:33:48,520
these personal experiences and,
and the solutions to them, I
557
00:33:48,530 --> 00:33:50,369
love talking about stuff like
that.
558
00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:55,459
Yeah, I, I think these would be
great topics to, to, to tackle
559
00:33:55,469 --> 00:33:57,670
because I, I think so many
people go through all these
560
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:01,239
things and, and then I, I even
know, you know, it's a lot of
561
00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:04,089
times I, I can meet people, I
know that they, they are either
562
00:34:04,099 --> 00:34:07,650
in recovery or they, they have
addiction problems because you,
563
00:34:07,729 --> 00:34:10,439
when you, when, you know, so
many people, you know, you know,
564
00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:13,449
the behaviors, you know, you
know, how people act, you know,
565
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,060
you know, how people talk, you
know, the body language and you
566
00:34:16,070 --> 00:34:20,159
could just tell, you know, and,
you know, you can just pick up
567
00:34:20,169 --> 00:34:21,580
on the energy, you know.
568
00:34:21,709 --> 00:34:26,439
And, but I do, I do feel bad for
people who are kind of, they
569
00:34:26,449 --> 00:34:30,219
stay in a closet, you know,
either they stay in denial or
570
00:34:30,229 --> 00:34:36,379
they're just too, embarrassed or
afraid to open up to others
571
00:34:36,389 --> 00:34:38,810
about what's going on in their
life.
572
00:34:39,648 --> 00:34:43,868
Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it
's, it's that stigma, you know,
573
00:34:43,878 --> 00:34:46,979
and, you know, if someone's
listening or watching and, you
574
00:34:46,989 --> 00:34:52,469
know, if, if you have to, you
know, if, when I would explain,
575
00:34:52,879 --> 00:34:57,669
when I'm explaining, I'm lying.
Ok. But it's, but when I would,
576
00:34:57,679 --> 00:35:00,629
you know, make it bright and
clear that, you know, I'm not an
577
00:35:00,639 --> 00:35:04,909
alcoholic, I, I just, I just
drink, I just, you know, I cut
578
00:35:04,919 --> 00:35:07,750
back. I'm drinking only, you
know, four drinks a day. Ok.
579
00:35:08,639 --> 00:35:12,020
That's a red flag because I, I
don't, I don't talk like that
580
00:35:12,030 --> 00:35:15,590
about cereal. You know what I
mean? I mean, I don't talk, you
581
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:19,179
know, about, about anything
else, but I'm just cutting back
582
00:35:19,189 --> 00:35:22,129
and the thing is they come up to
me and they say that I didn't
583
00:35:22,139 --> 00:35:25,175
ask them anything. Right. You
know, I didn't ask anything. So
584
00:35:25,185 --> 00:35:28,274
if that has to be explained,
what they're really doing is
585
00:35:28,284 --> 00:35:31,254
crying out for help, they're
crying out for help.
586
00:35:31,264 --> 00:35:34,064
You know, it's, it's that deal
asking for a friend. Hey, I'm
587
00:35:34,074 --> 00:35:38,705
asking for a friend. And so, and
sometimes that's real but it's,
588
00:35:39,294 --> 00:35:43,094
but the, but yeah, it's, it's,
it's something that needs to be
589
00:35:43,104 --> 00:35:46,125
addressed 100%. And, you know,
and the other thing I love to
590
00:35:46,135 --> 00:35:48,754
talk about is the real crisis.
Our real crisis today is the
591
00:35:48,764 --> 00:35:52,720
missing man. It's the nuclear
family. Yeah, it's time for, it
592
00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:54,669
's time for men to take back the
dinner table.
593
00:35:56,219 --> 00:35:56,879
I agree.
594
00:35:57,689 --> 00:36:01,310
Yeah, that's definitely a topic
that needs to be addressed in
595
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:04,520
our society. Now, if you had to
take everything we talked about
596
00:36:04,530 --> 00:36:07,449
today and you want to emphasize
the listeners a couple of point
597
00:36:07,459 --> 00:36:10,540
important takeaways. What would
you like to say to them?
598
00:36:12,919 --> 00:36:16,080
True acceptance has no
resentments. Yes, that's one of
599
00:36:16,090 --> 00:36:20,449
the main things is, and also
that we are all addicts. We're
600
00:36:20,459 --> 00:36:25,000
all addicts who we are addicted
to visible things to try to fix
601
00:36:25,010 --> 00:36:26,570
our invisible problems.
602
00:36:27,879 --> 00:36:30,949
You know, and, and, and, and
what is the solution to fear?
603
00:36:30,959 --> 00:36:33,300
The solution to fear is to talk
about it.
604
00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:38,250
You know, my personal story is,
is, is what got me to the other
605
00:36:38,260 --> 00:36:42,379
side was a spiritual awakening,
a relationship with the God of
606
00:36:42,389 --> 00:36:47,290
my understanding, which is Jesus
Christ, not the church, Jesus,
607
00:36:47,300 --> 00:36:50,659
not religion. Jesus, you know,
the, the true Christ in, in the
608
00:36:50,669 --> 00:36:53,439
book, you know, the Bible and I
believe in that.
609
00:36:54,649 --> 00:36:57,780
So, that's what's working for
me.
610
00:36:58,850 --> 00:37:03,669
And so that's, that's a takeaway
right there. That's a lot to
611
00:37:03,679 --> 00:37:04,219
take away.
612
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,350
It's a lot of takeaways, but it
's, they're great takeaways. I
613
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:08,020
like them.
614
00:37:08,889 --> 00:37:10,780
Yeah, they have important
meaning to them.
615
00:37:11,699 --> 00:37:14,879
Look before you go. Can you tell
everybody about your new book
616
00:37:14,889 --> 00:37:16,120
because it's an amazing book.
617
00:37:16,959 --> 00:37:17,500
I want you to tell.
618
00:37:17,689 --> 00:37:24,250
Yeah. So we, we just, we signed
with Grasa Lee Perez out of Los
619
00:37:24,260 --> 00:37:30,520
Angeles. And she is writing our
book and, and, and we're gonna
620
00:37:30,530 --> 00:37:31,719
turn it into a film.
621
00:37:32,780 --> 00:37:36,030
So it's a, really excited about
that. So it's called three, you
622
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:41,000
know, 300 miles. It's a journey
that I made, back to, Dallas.
623
00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:46,239
So yeah, we're looking forward
to that. It's 300 miles and, so
624
00:37:46,250 --> 00:37:50,040
stay tuned. We're looking for a
September of 24 release on that.
625
00:37:50,050 --> 00:37:53,719
So, and that has been in that
deal and we can talk on the next
626
00:37:53,729 --> 00:37:56,550
show that has really talk about
forgiveness. You know, I've had
627
00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:01,889
to go open some doors that I had
nailed shut. And so what do we
628
00:38:01,899 --> 00:38:05,600
do when we go into the past? Ok,
we can't go there alone.
629
00:38:05,879 --> 00:38:09,989
And so, you know, so, so some
things, you know, we were coming
630
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,959
up and as a result of some fear
that I'm going through and just
631
00:38:12,969 --> 00:38:17,209
my life today and stuff like
that, that, you know, it, that
632
00:38:17,219 --> 00:38:21,020
started triggering stuff and I,
and I'm, you know, I've got got
633
00:38:21,030 --> 00:38:24,199
emotional, you know, and so I
had to really look into it, but
634
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:27,160
it was an opportunity for me to
grow and look at it through God
635
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:31,040
's perspective of, you know, of
what, what the mission is.
636
00:38:31,050 --> 00:38:35,229
So, but yeah, 300 miles super
excited about it. And so it's
637
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,500
going to talk about the cool
thing is this book, it's going
638
00:38:37,510 --> 00:38:43,729
to be it's going to tell the
story. But when people close it,
639
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:48,830
all right, the people who wrong
me are the heroes because I saw
640
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:52,050
it through God's perspective.
And so that's the way I want it
641
00:38:52,060 --> 00:38:54,580
to be because they're truly
forgiven.
642
00:38:56,199 --> 00:38:57,929
And I don't even talk to these
people anymore.
643
00:38:59,070 --> 00:39:03,209
I love that. And I think that,
you know, it's ok, it's ok to
644
00:39:03,219 --> 00:39:05,270
separate yourself from people
that you, because you don't want
645
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,899
to be around people that are
going to drag you down. You
646
00:39:07,909 --> 00:39:10,489
know, the people that, you know,
that are gonna be the vacuum
647
00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:12,169
that sucks all that energy from
you.
648
00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:14,780
Those are the people you want to
stay your distance. But like we
649
00:39:14,790 --> 00:39:18,810
said earlier, as long as you can
forgive in a healthy manner and
650
00:39:18,820 --> 00:39:22,550
let go and then move forward in
your own life, that's what
651
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:23,250
matters.
652
00:39:24,030 --> 00:39:25,330
Amen. Amen.
653
00:39:26,510 --> 00:39:28,629
Well, this has been amazing,
Michael. I'm so, you know,
654
00:39:28,639 --> 00:39:32,179
Michael is gonna be, he's part
of our podcast community. He has
655
00:39:32,189 --> 00:39:37,250
a podcast series and he also has
a podcast M two, the rock on our
656
00:39:37,739 --> 00:39:41,479
podcast channel. And he's gonna
be doing a series of different
657
00:39:41,489 --> 00:39:45,780
topics related to addiction and,
you know, family trauma and
658
00:39:45,790 --> 00:39:48,689
getting through trauma and lots
of different.
659
00:39:48,699 --> 00:39:51,639
He's going to be given lots of
different tools, strategies and
660
00:39:51,649 --> 00:39:54,959
techniques on how to overcome
the hardships in your life. So
661
00:39:54,969 --> 00:39:57,959
you can live a happy, healthy
and productive life. But thank
662
00:39:57,969 --> 00:40:00,639
you so much Michael for coming
on the show today. You know, I'm
663
00:40:00,649 --> 00:40:01,540
very, very excited.
664
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:07,100
Thank you, Stacy. And when I say
thank you. Ok? Is that, this
665
00:40:07,110 --> 00:40:11,379
helps me, I do this because it
helps me stay clean and sober
666
00:40:11,399 --> 00:40:16,489
and me sharing and getting out
of self for 35 40 minutes. All
667
00:40:16,500 --> 00:40:19,419
right. It puts me in the safest
place in the world and that's
668
00:40:19,429 --> 00:40:22,889
right here right now because
that's where God's at. Right.
669
00:40:23,870 --> 00:40:28,429
I love it. I, I agree with you
100%. I'm on the same road you
670
00:40:28,439 --> 00:40:28,739
are.
671
00:40:29,639 --> 00:40:34,020
And also for your viewers,
Cowboy fan, Dallas Cowboys,
672
00:40:34,399 --> 00:40:36,090
everybody up there in New
Jersey.
673
00:40:36,580 --> 00:40:38,939
Well, I always said, I said the
Cowboys always had the cutest
674
00:40:38,949 --> 00:40:39,909
little butts and I.
675
00:40:43,050 --> 00:40:44,909
Oh, I've never said that.
676
00:40:45,179 --> 00:40:48,330
No, I know. You never said that.
I would always joke around and
677
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,060
then, because we would have the,
you know, a big lot of Giants
678
00:40:51,070 --> 00:40:53,770
fan over here. But I like, you
know what Dallas does have cuter
679
00:40:53,780 --> 00:40:57,090
little butts over there. Like I
got a, you know, you're funny.
680
00:40:57,100 --> 00:41:00,300
You're funny. Well, I'm excited
for the next show. Yeah.
681
00:41:01,580 --> 00:41:04,620
All righty. It's great having
you on the show today. I look
682
00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:08,239
forward to seeing you soon.
Thank you so much, Michael. Yes.
683
00:41:08,250 --> 00:41:10,439
Thank you, Stacy. All right. You
have a great day.
684
00:41:11,219 --> 00:41:11,840
Yes, you too.
00:00:02,349 --> 00:00:05,949
Hello, everybody. And this is
Stacy from the advisor today.
2
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,899
I'm very excited because we have
a very special guest today. It
3
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:13,510
is Michael Min and he is an
inspirational motivational
4
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,040
speaker on the subject of
addiction. And today I'm very
5
00:00:17,049 --> 00:00:18,690
honored to have him on my show.
6
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:21,434
He's gonna tell you a little
about himself and what he does
7
00:00:21,444 --> 00:00:25,694
and he has an incredible story
to share. So hold your seats and
8
00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,704
hold on to your pants because he
's going to take you away to a
9
00:00:28,715 --> 00:00:32,395
story that you is gonna make
your mouth drop and you're just
10
00:00:32,404 --> 00:00:35,584
gonna want some more. So
Michael, tell everybody a little
11
00:00:35,595 --> 00:00:36,994
about yourself and what you do.
12
00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:40,900
Well, Stacey, thank you so much
for having me on. I really
13
00:00:40,909 --> 00:00:43,779
appreciate all the things that
you do and getting the word out
14
00:00:43,790 --> 00:00:47,540
and your platform and how it
reaches so many people. So, here
15
00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:50,549
at to the rock, we're we're very
grateful to be a part of this.
16
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:56,209
So, you know, you know, I'm, you
know, I'm an addict, you know,
17
00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:58,509
and, and I'm, I'm addicted to
everything.
18
00:00:58,540 --> 00:01:03,439
And so, just a real short, you
know, a short piece of my story
19
00:01:03,450 --> 00:01:06,540
is, is that, you know, I, I grew
up on the wrong side of the
20
00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:10,940
tracks. I, I grew up in a well
to do, family, you know, and so
21
00:01:10,949 --> 00:01:14,290
we had money and, and, you know,
on the outside grew up in
22
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,790
country clubs. I grew up, you
know, gambling.
23
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,309
I grew up playing golf and grew
up, you know, with real estate
24
00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:24,440
tycoons and, you know, these men
in the locker rooms, they, they
25
00:01:24,449 --> 00:01:30,220
taught me how to, gamble and
drink, and how to treat women
26
00:01:30,230 --> 00:01:34,110
and they taught me how to die.
And so little did I know, you
27
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:40,559
know, where that coaching would
lead me, to, a 27 arrest and
28
00:01:40,569 --> 00:01:45,739
homeless and then, sentenced,
you know, to prison as a result
29
00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:47,809
of, of drugs and alcohol.
30
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:53,129
So it's, you know, my story is
not unique, I'm not unique.
31
00:01:53,639 --> 00:01:57,819
But apparently the public,
thinks I've got a story, you
32
00:01:57,830 --> 00:02:00,389
know, like Forrest Gump, you
know, I was on the caddy on the
33
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,339
pro golf tour and then one of
the most well known, you know,
34
00:02:03,349 --> 00:02:06,099
high end, you know, luxury home
builders in the area, you know,
35
00:02:06,110 --> 00:02:09,570
building very, the air was real
thin for the people who I built
36
00:02:09,580 --> 00:02:13,020
homes for, you know, in the
park, cities, in Dallas, in
37
00:02:13,029 --> 00:02:14,770
Highland Park and University
Park.
38
00:02:14,779 --> 00:02:18,000
And, and so, you know, it's, it
's real money, you know, they
39
00:02:18,009 --> 00:02:22,160
got and they can afford it. And
that's, that's just their level
40
00:02:22,169 --> 00:02:25,610
of, of, of living. So, you know,
that's where I came from.
41
00:02:25,860 --> 00:02:31,639
And, you know, I had this
awakening while incarcerated,
42
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:35,550
that, you know, had this
spiritual awakening. You know, I
43
00:02:35,559 --> 00:02:39,619
didn't grow up in the church and
one trauma I didn't have was
44
00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:43,320
religious trauma. You know, I
grew up, let me back up a little
45
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:43,600
bit.
46
00:02:43,610 --> 00:02:48,160
I, when I was growing up, on the
outside, everything appeared to
47
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:51,919
be normal, the perfect family
but behind closed doors, there
48
00:02:51,929 --> 00:02:56,990
was abuse. And from the, as long
as I remember as a child, I was
49
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,839
sexually abused by my
grandfather on the maternal
50
00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:00,279
side.
51
00:03:01,550 --> 00:03:07,800
And he was a cop and so it was a
first time I kept a secret and
52
00:03:07,809 --> 00:03:15,139
I, I held that trauma and pain
and suffering, for a long, long
53
00:03:15,149 --> 00:03:19,660
time. And, you know, and, and
so, you know, to find relief, I
54
00:03:19,669 --> 00:03:23,710
was searching for visible things
to try to fix my invisible
55
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:29,149
problems. And so, drugs and
alcohol, were my, became my
56
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:33,500
drugs, you know, my, my doc
which is a drug of choice and,
57
00:03:33,509 --> 00:03:37,039
you know, and that led me down
to, the rock bottom.
58
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:42,610
And so, so as I was incarcerated
after the 27th mug shot, I am,
59
00:03:43,210 --> 00:03:48,710
you know, I had the spiritual
awakening. I am second, I did a
60
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:53,300
film about this, a nine minute
film, you know, about it and,
61
00:03:53,669 --> 00:03:55,979
and I had this spiritual
awakening and it, and it wasn't
62
00:03:55,990 --> 00:03:59,330
like, you know, Christ, you
know, come into my life. It
63
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:01,440
wasn't that it just happened.
64
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:06,759
And as a result of it, I was
reading to inmates who couldn't
65
00:04:06,770 --> 00:04:11,869
read or write and I found
myself, you know, you know,
66
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,279
doing easy time and it, and it,
I realized that, you know, four
67
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:18,049
or five days later, the reason
why I was doing easy time. Stacy
68
00:04:18,059 --> 00:04:21,380
was because I was in the safest
place in the world and that was
69
00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:24,980
right here right now as a result
of serving others expecting
70
00:04:24,989 --> 00:04:27,839
nothing in return because I
always wanted what you had.
71
00:04:28,079 --> 00:04:33,450
So, and then I'll get to, I'll,
you know, after this awakening
72
00:04:33,459 --> 00:04:37,070
and, and, and reading to, you
know, to the tank and listen, I
73
00:04:37,079 --> 00:04:40,690
wasn't this this jailhouse
preacher quoting scripture and
74
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:44,730
all that stuff and, and I don't
do that today, you know. And,
75
00:04:44,739 --> 00:04:47,970
and, you know, when I say Jesus,
it comes out norm just
76
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:50,910
naturally, like I say, Stacy,
you know, it just comes out, you
77
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,760
know, naturally I don't use him
as a marketing tool.
78
00:04:54,809 --> 00:04:59,820
But, you know, one thing that I
did realize is that when I had
79
00:04:59,829 --> 00:05:04,339
that awakening, I felt this
forgiveness and this peace. We
80
00:05:04,350 --> 00:05:08,079
talk about that, that void in
our heart that that, that dark
81
00:05:08,089 --> 00:05:12,079
space that I kept trying to fill
and it was, it was filled with
82
00:05:12,089 --> 00:05:17,760
the spirit and as a result of
forgiveness, Matthew 614 and 15.
83
00:05:19,029 --> 00:05:22,279
1st place, you know, I was state
first person in the state of
84
00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:25,000
Texas history to be accidentally
released from prison.
85
00:05:25,519 --> 00:05:30,519
And so made the journey 300
miles back to judge Bennett who
86
00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:35,790
is my professional photographer
of all my mug shots and, and but
87
00:05:35,799 --> 00:05:39,339
I, I made the journey back at
300 miles to turn myself in and,
88
00:05:39,350 --> 00:05:42,579
and she had heard what had
happened to me and she saw the
89
00:05:42,589 --> 00:05:46,500
transformation just in my eyes,
you know, you, you feel it, you
90
00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:48,779
know, when someone's an act of
addiction, you can see it,
91
00:05:48,790 --> 00:05:49,220
right?
92
00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:52,910
And also when someone's in
recovery, you can see it. And so
93
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,890
she she set me free and, and
said, you know, go pay it
94
00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,980
forward and that's what I'm
doing today.
95
00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:04,869
That's beautiful. It's an
amazing story, you know, go
96
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:05,200
ahead.
97
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:09,579
No, go, I mean it, yeah, II I
still pinch myself and you know,
98
00:06:09,589 --> 00:06:12,859
it's, you know, I didn't have a
business plan when I was locked
99
00:06:12,869 --> 00:06:15,959
up, you know, none of this, you
know, M two. The rock is, you
100
00:06:15,970 --> 00:06:18,760
know, of course, my name's
Michael Multan. So M two.
101
00:06:19,730 --> 00:06:22,940
And the rock, I finally realized
that all these times I was
102
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,959
hitting my head on this rock at
the bottom. It was the same
103
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:29,100
rock. And then I finally
realized that all these times it
104
00:06:29,109 --> 00:06:33,440
was God at the bottom. So I
stayed there and I let Godly men
105
00:06:33,450 --> 00:06:36,859
bring me out and they were
prisoners who were doing life
106
00:06:36,869 --> 00:06:38,059
for murder who helped me?
107
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:43,420
Wow, that's amazing. It, it's
really hard because, you know,
108
00:06:43,429 --> 00:06:46,660
there's so many people, 70% of
people come from dysfunctional
109
00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:50,809
homes and there are so many
people out there that use, you
110
00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:54,140
know, drugs and alcohol as a
coping mechanism. Even people
111
00:06:54,149 --> 00:06:56,989
who just have hard days at work
and they're just under high
112
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:57,920
levels of stress.
113
00:06:57,940 --> 00:07:02,559
So many people grab alcohol, you
know, or certain types of drugs
114
00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:07,244
just to get the edge off, you
know, and no one realizes the
115
00:07:07,255 --> 00:07:11,445
consequences and how easily you
could become addicted, you know,
116
00:07:11,454 --> 00:07:14,774
and like you mentioned an
addictive personality, there are
117
00:07:14,785 --> 00:07:17,404
lots of people out there that
have addictive personalities,
118
00:07:17,415 --> 00:07:21,084
you know, that can so easily
become addicted to, to things.
119
00:07:21,095 --> 00:07:23,864
And then there are people who
just use it because they just
120
00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:26,945
can't cope, they don't know how
to cope, you know, because
121
00:07:26,954 --> 00:07:28,304
they're hurting so bad.
122
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:32,070
That's right. That's right. And
I can relate to all that and,
123
00:07:32,239 --> 00:07:36,470
you know, it leads into, you
know, what I do today, you know,
124
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:40,410
I, I'm a, they say I'm an
inspirational motivational
125
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:44,619
speaker and author. But I go
speak and, and, and the tour is
126
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:49,299
surrounded by, we are all
addicts, ok? All, we are all
127
00:07:49,309 --> 00:07:51,630
addicts, you know, drugs and
alcohol.
128
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,010
You know, it has a stigma, it
has a stigma to it because of,
129
00:07:55,459 --> 00:07:59,250
our behaviors are so severe and
then the consequences are so
130
00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:03,190
severe. And so it's kind of set
that bar that, that high. And
131
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,190
they say, well, if I don't do
this, you know, I'm not an
132
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:11,269
addict, I don't have addictive
personality, you know. And, and
133
00:08:11,279 --> 00:08:17,190
that's completely wrong because
addiction is simply the street
134
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:20,529
name for spiritual stronghold or
false idols.
135
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:24,529
And I can break it down even
more simple. Is that addiction?
136
00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:29,269
It's a person, it's a place, it
's a thing and here's a scary
137
00:08:29,279 --> 00:08:34,469
one, Stacey or a thought that
becomes my source. So when I am
138
00:08:34,479 --> 00:08:37,130
reaching for these visible
things to try to fix the
139
00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:40,539
invisible problem, I'm an active
addiction.
140
00:08:40,549 --> 00:08:43,280
So I always say when I wake up
in the morning and my eyes are
141
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:49,320
open, I'm in full blown relapse.
But, but recovery is I recognize
142
00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:53,710
the behaviors, you know, if I'm
wanting to go buy something and
143
00:08:53,719 --> 00:08:56,659
I don't need it. And I'm like I
look at myself, why, why am I
144
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:59,960
gonna go buy this? You know, I
don't, I don't, I don't need
145
00:08:59,969 --> 00:09:03,719
this. You know what it is is I'm
trying to change the way I feel
146
00:09:03,909 --> 00:09:04,289
right?
147
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,700
And a lot of people go from one
addiction to the next addiction,
148
00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:10,989
you know, when they're in
recovery, you know, they they
149
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,940
swap addictions, not even, you
know, realizing it because it's
150
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:18,380
just that the mentality, it's,
it's breaking that addiction,
151
00:09:18,479 --> 00:09:23,619
that behavioral, addiction that
we carry is very hard to do.
152
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,859
And that there's a name to that
and it's called cross addiction.
153
00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:32,030
You know, and it's also relapse,
I mean, full blown relapse. And
154
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:37,729
if I don't catch it, all right,
I will end up back drinking and
155
00:09:37,739 --> 00:09:40,849
drugging because I want more and
more and more and more and more.
156
00:09:41,150 --> 00:09:47,090
And I forget, you know, that
the, the, the solution is, is
157
00:09:47,099 --> 00:09:51,510
the the main core root of what
the real problem is for me. All
158
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,789
right. And I hope your, you
know, viewers understand this is
159
00:09:54,799 --> 00:09:59,700
that I'm in fear, that's what it
is. I'm in fear and, and I
160
00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:02,940
don't, I didn't have the tools
on how to process fear.
161
00:10:03,309 --> 00:10:07,190
And so the solution to fear is
real simple is to talk about it,
162
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:11,080
you know, with the counselor or
a therapist or, or a mentor in
163
00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:14,250
the recovery world, they have
sponsors and you know, you li
164
00:10:14,419 --> 00:10:17,539
you call that sponsor and a
mentor and you say, hey, you
165
00:10:17,549 --> 00:10:21,440
know, I'm, I'm in fear and I'm
thinking about some things.
166
00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:25,830
And the sponsor will literally
say you're making this up,
167
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,650
you're making this up and you
feel better, you feel better
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because you talked about it. It
doesn't grow legs, you know,
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your thoughts don't become your
actions. And you know, that's
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what I, I work on.
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Today, I think it's so
important, you know, for people
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to be able to talk about it. So
many people keep their pains
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inside and they don't let go.
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And that's why I think group
therapy or being able to have a
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therapist or even have your
sponsor is so important because
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once you, it's very hard to get
those repressed emotions, all
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those things that happen to you
and have things that happen to
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me and things that happen to
other people.
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You know, a lot of times you
repress all those emotions and,
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and that's one of the root qual
that brought you to where you're
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at, you know, in your worst
times. And the thing is, how do
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we release that?
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There are so many people that
have gone through so much
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because everybody has a story.
But, you know, there are so many
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people out there that use
addiction and they use, used,
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you know, drugs and alcohol as a
way to cope.
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But how, you know, they say you
have to hit rock bottom. But if
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you recognize you have a
problem, you know, can you save
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yourself before that? Can you
maybe get the help you need and
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be able to get that repression
and all those emotions out.
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Oh, well, said that is our
slogan is, you know, into the
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rock is raising, we wanna raise
the meaning of rock bottom. And
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what that means is we wanna
raise the bottom. Ok.
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And in getting our message out
there, to people who, still have
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everything, you know, they still
have everything and to, go man,
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I hear his story and I don't, I
don't want that to happen to me
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or people hear it like I used to
do when I had a lot of money and
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I was successful by the worldly
standards. Ok.
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But, is that I would hear, you
know, stories of, of like mine
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and I go, man, that's horrible.
I'll never be like that yet. Ok.
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Which is an acronym for you're
eligible too. And so, you know,
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so we, that's what we, that is
my, one of my missions is to
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raise the meaning of rock
bottom.
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But, but you're exactly right.
And so to answer what answer
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your original question is, is
how do we do that? Is that we
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educate, you know, we educate
and, and we get it out there
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and, and it's, it's, it's ok to
talk about it. It's ok to, you
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know, asking for help is that
slogan?
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And that is accurate and that
does work. But here's what saved
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my life. This is where the
transformation came for me is
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when I said these three words, I
don't know.
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Ok, I don't know why I'm doing
the things I'm doing and I'm
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willing to go to any length to
change and I know it's going to
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be painful, you know, and it's
temp, it's, it's just growth, it
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's like working out, you know,
to get your muscles bigger, you
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add more weight. And so, you
know, you know, phases of
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recovery, there's the detox
phase. Ok. That's the physical
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pain.
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There is the honeymoon phase
which is where the, where the
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dopamine is rapidly rebuilding
in your brain and it exceeds its
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normal balance because you're
like, man, this is great, you
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know, I love being sober, but
then that recorrect itself and
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then that's where the wall phase
comes in. It's like, man, is
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this what recovery is all about?
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And that's why it's so
important, you know, in all
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phases, but that's why it's so
important to plugged into a
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support group. And, and with a,
with a mentor or therapist
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counsel or sponsor whatever it
is to be there during that wall
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phase because that's where we
take risk and we go do it moral
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inventory on ourselves. And when
we do that, I get to answer the
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question.
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Now, I see why I see why I, I
did. And, you know, I find out
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what my character defects are
and my character defects. That's
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what relapse behaviors are. You
know, I mean, so all the way
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down to, if you know Stacy, if,
if I start cussing, OK, if I
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start cussing, I'm in fear, I
mean, it's literally, that's, I
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mean, you know, I've dissected
it down that tight in my life.
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And so, you know, and I, I've
got to, I got to talk about it
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but it talking about it. It has
been real hard for me because I
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have true childhood trauma, ok,
real childhood trauma that, you
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know, affected mental health.
And that's another thing we, we
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got to address in our next show
is mental health.
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Remove that stigma. But, you
know, and so then when I drank
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alcohol and I did drugs, I
started to feel like you looked
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right. I wanted my insides to
match your outsides. And so, and
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when I did that in order to keep
that feeling, what did I do?
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I would do more and more and
more. Ok? Then I had
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consequences. Ok? And so I would
drink more to feel good about
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the bad decisions I was making
and then I would drink and do
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more drugs because I was
creating self-inflicted trauma.
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So now you've got this spiral
web of all this stuff and you're
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trapped and it leads to suicide.
I mean, it will lead to jails,
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institutions or death. Because
we would truly think that we're
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bad people. No, recovery is not
about getting good. Ok? It's
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about getting well, that's
simple. 100%. We're not bad
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people.
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No. You know, and I think that's
what people think. Sometimes
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they, they, they, we sometimes
people can be their own worst
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critics of themselves, you know.
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Right. Here. I mean, I, I still
struggle with it to this day,
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you know, II, I I want to use
the word struggle. Let me change
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the word smithing. It's a
challenge for me. It's an
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opportunity for me to grow. You
know, I think one of the, I
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recognize it. I recognize it.
That's the great thing I
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recognize.
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Yeah, that's very important. And
II, I think one of the things
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too is, is realizing that the
past is the past. You can't
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change the past. You can focus
on the present and you can make
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changes for the present to make
a fruitful and, and positive
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future for yourself. Because too
many people live in the past.
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They dwell in the past, easier
said than done. But somehow you
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have to let go knowing that we
can't change what has happened,
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you know, but we have to, we
have to learn how to cope with
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that pain, all those things that
happened when you were growing
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up, all those things that
happened. You know, how do you
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deal with that pain?
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How do you let go of that pain
and, and getting that pain out
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of you and then releasing it? I
think, you know, it makes a big
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impact and then kind of freeing
yourself from every everything
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that's happened. And I think
forgiveness is a part of it too.
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I feel like if we don't, we
don't have to hear someone say I
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forgive you.
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But I think we need to either
forgive ourselves for the
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actions that we've done to and,
and maybe the actions we
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afflicted on others or we need
to forgive people who have done
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things to us and we don't have
to hear them say, I'm sorry, but
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we have to try to learn how to
forgive them and, and release
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it. I think. What do you think
about that?
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No, it's beautiful. I mean, I, I
can't count on that. I mean,
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you're, you're exactly right
and, you know, you know,
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forgiveness sets us free.
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And, but, but we don't forget,
ok, we have a mem, we have a
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brain and, and, you know, where
there's memory there and we, we
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don't forget, but we forgive
because when I forgave
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everybody, the supernatural
happens, I mean, the
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supernatural, you know, when,
when I forgave everybody, you
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know, you know, for, you know,
Matthew six, you know, 14, this
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is my translation.
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He says, he goes, if you forgive
the ones who have hurt you and
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the next verse says I'll bless
your game. He said, you know,
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because God can't do anything
with me if I'm holding on to
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resentment and anger. Ok, if I'm
holding on to that, it blocks me
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from the supernatural, the
spiritual life.
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And so when we do forgive that,
then he uses us, he uses us to
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go pay it forward, where we get
to share that story of, of
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forgiveness. And, you know, I
even got deeper, you know,
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regarding my, my grandfather,
you know, and, you know, when we
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have a resentment Stacy towards
a person, place, thing,
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institution, whatever it is, it
's because I play a role in it,
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I play a role in it.
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You know, if I loan someone $5
ok, and they don't pay me back
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and I'm resentful at them, you
know, with the role I played in
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it, I loaned them the money, you
know, and so the role I played
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in it with my grandfather was
simply this, I chose to hold on
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to the resentment.
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I chose to hold on to it. And
that's the role I played in it.
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And once that was set free, it,
it's just been amazing where it
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's a, it's just a, a really free
life.
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So I think holding on to
resentment is, is the worst
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feeling. I think that that
destroys a person inside is when
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we hold on to resentment, we
don't realize how destructive it
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could be because every single
day, whether you realize it or
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not, it's eating at you. It's,
it's literally eaten at you.
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Well, resentment is a symptom of
fear, unresolved fear. So when I
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break down fear, it's an
opportunity. It's the
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opportunity for my faith to grow
or it's an opportunity for me to
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go to prison. Ok? I mean, that
's, that is it. And So if I
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don't do anything with the
emotion or feeling of fear, ok?
329
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It turns into a resentment. If I
don't do anything with that, it
330
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turns into anger. If I don't do
anything with anger, it turns
331
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into rage, then the isolation
and then into paranoia. Ok? And
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that paranoia state is where the
thoughts that are in my head. I
333
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really believe them and they're
in my own voice, you know.
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As simple as sending, I always
use the example of sending a
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text to your loved one. Let's
say your boyfriend or your
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girlfriend, you know, you send a
text, I love you. And they don't
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respond and you go through all
these stages and then you get to
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paranoia stage. All right.
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00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:45,209
And you truly think that they've
left with another man or another
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woman. I mean, that's where we
go and then we end up shooting
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dope in our arm and getting
arrested and she comes, she or
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00:20:52,890 --> 00:20:55,619
he comes down to visit us and
said what what happened? They
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said you didn't return my text.
I'm sorry, but I lost my phone.
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It's, that's, you know, it, it
blows up and you know, that is
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00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,500
that didn't happen to me but
that, but that's really, that's
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a simple example of what we do.
So what is the solution to that?
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Talk about it? You know, when we
get that paranoid day, we we
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call that that person.
349
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:23,089
And say, hey, I'm in my head
right now. And, you know, and if
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that situation said, called me,
I said, ok, you said you love
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her, but you didn't ask a
question, you didn't have to
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respond. You know? And so, and
that's where we learned, that
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expectations always sets us up
for resentment, always.
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And that's a very good
statement. You know, we don't
355
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have expectations, then we can't
get disappointed. It's when we
356
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set expectations on others and
they don't meet up to what we
357
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think they should meet up. That
's when we fall into that trap
358
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of, of those negative emotions
that follow.
359
00:21:55,290 --> 00:21:55,969
That's right.
360
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So it's, you know, and so that
's, that's what I love to talk
361
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about is, is, is that we are all
addicts. And so, you know, and
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that, you know, the seeking the
invisible, you know, here, here
363
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's the deal, Stacey, my goal is,
is, is not to influence others.
364
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Ok? I don't have that kind of
power, right?
365
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:20,229
My goal is not to be popular,
you know, a celebrity, you know,
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my God is, he's not interested
in celebrities, he's interested
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in servants. Ok? And so that's
not my goal. But my goal is to
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simply help people see life
through God's perspective and
369
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not the world's or cultures, you
know, perspective.
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And so that is, that's what I
lived my whole life in and when
371
00:22:42,290 --> 00:22:44,949
I start seeing that and what
that means is like when stuff I
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think is bad happening, right?
And things that are done to me
373
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that aren't OK. Why would a God
allow that to happen? A loving
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good God.
375
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But when I look at it through
his perspective, as crazy as
376
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stuff is if I look at it through
his perspective, I go and I'm
377
00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:04,069
connected, I'm like going I see
you, I see you and then I get to
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share those stories on platforms
like this, you know, because my
379
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grandfather's story is saving a
lot of people's lives for sure.
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It's unbelievable because I'm
looking at it through God's
381
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:17,030
perspective.
382
00:23:17,390 --> 00:23:17,930
Yeah.
383
00:23:17,939 --> 00:23:22,810
And, and I've met so many people
that had similar situations
384
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:26,560
happen to them and people keep
it for secrets, you know, for
385
00:23:26,569 --> 00:23:32,050
years and even people had that,
you know, they may have not
386
00:23:32,349 --> 00:23:37,349
touched them but they, they
were, they were, they went past
387
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:41,510
the bar, let's say, and, and
then the other person, you know,
388
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:47,239
that child, you know, or that
teenager realizes that and the
389
00:23:47,250 --> 00:23:50,540
experience, the trauma that
those, those, those seconds,
390
00:23:50,550 --> 00:23:52,739
those minutes never leave their
head.
391
00:23:53,209 --> 00:23:56,369
And, you know, and, and, and it
can really, it can really
392
00:23:56,380 --> 00:24:00,020
traumatize someone their entire
life, it could traumatize them,
393
00:24:00,030 --> 00:24:04,359
you know, even there in
adulthood, in, in relationships,
394
00:24:04,369 --> 00:24:07,859
you know, and it could destroy
you if you don't get the right.
395
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,840
And, and that's so well said
because it's, you know, it's, it
396
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:16,359
's, it's very, you know, keeping
those secrets and, and you know,
397
00:24:16,369 --> 00:24:19,290
and, and talking about it and no
one's gonna believe me, you
398
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:21,000
know, that's what I struggle
with, you know, no one's gonna
399
00:24:21,010 --> 00:24:25,099
believe me and, you know, and,
and, and my, my mission, my
400
00:24:25,109 --> 00:24:28,819
mission also have a lot of
missions, you know, another
401
00:24:28,930 --> 00:24:33,170
mission is that, you know, I'm
not trying to demonize anyone.
402
00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:36,030
I'm not trying to demonize my
mom and dad. I'm not trying to,
403
00:24:36,859 --> 00:24:40,890
you know, campaign against, you
know, child molesters. Ok? And
404
00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:42,430
what does that, what does that
look like?
405
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:46,920
Now that I see it through God's
perspective? All right, what
406
00:24:46,930 --> 00:24:52,310
that looks like is like, wow,
what did my mom go through? You
407
00:24:52,319 --> 00:24:55,040
know, because of what she did to
me, you know, I mean, I couldn't
408
00:24:55,050 --> 00:24:58,390
imagine what she went through,
you know, and what my, what my
409
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,140
dad, you know, and so when I
look at it through that
410
00:25:01,150 --> 00:25:04,959
perspective, I get some, you
know, relief, you know, because,
411
00:25:05,089 --> 00:25:07,810
hey, resentment, anger is a
luxury I don't have anymore.
412
00:25:08,180 --> 00:25:11,670
I don't have II I can't. And,
you know, it's killing the
413
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,760
entire human race. I'm not big
on opinion, but it's resentment.
414
00:25:15,979 --> 00:25:17,540
I mean, that's what's killing
the human race.
415
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:22,640
It is and you see it every day
and it was when, when I learned
416
00:25:22,650 --> 00:25:25,199
how to let go of anger and I
brought forgiveness into my
417
00:25:25,209 --> 00:25:28,579
life. I think it, it, it turned
me into a completely different
418
00:25:28,589 --> 00:25:31,420
person and it's like it's a
powerful thing when you can
419
00:25:31,430 --> 00:25:34,459
take, when you can release that
anger and you can bring
420
00:25:34,469 --> 00:25:37,099
forgiveness into your life no
matter what you've been through.
421
00:25:38,140 --> 00:25:41,849
And not point the finger and try
to blame people and just, just
422
00:25:41,859 --> 00:25:46,589
work on what happened, work on
releasing the anger and then
423
00:25:46,599 --> 00:25:49,489
learn how to deal with stress I
think is a big issue, especially
424
00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:52,750
for addicts because we're always
going to be followed by stress.
425
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,500
Stress is just a part of
everyday life.
426
00:25:55,510 --> 00:25:59,574
But how do you deal with stress
without grabbing the bottle or
427
00:25:59,584 --> 00:26:02,474
without grabbing a drink or
without going to drugs? You
428
00:26:02,484 --> 00:26:05,484
know, because some people, the
moment stress enters their life,
429
00:26:05,494 --> 00:26:07,915
they just don't know how to
cope. So the first thing that an
430
00:26:07,925 --> 00:26:10,854
addict does is they, they grab
something that's going to
431
00:26:10,864 --> 00:26:13,295
relieve them and help them cope
with it. So they don't have to
432
00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:15,035
feel that stress.
433
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,869
You know, and I, hey, listen, I
recognize it because I do it and
434
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,469
I did it ok. I mean, not drugs
and alcohol but you know what
435
00:26:22,479 --> 00:26:26,010
I'm saying? I, I catch myself,
you know, and you're doing it
436
00:26:26,229 --> 00:26:30,770
and it's you know, like it's
easy, you know.
437
00:26:30,780 --> 00:26:35,680
So if I were to give us a a
suggestion on how to forgive,
438
00:26:36,099 --> 00:26:40,810
what works for me is the first
thing is to look at the role I
439
00:26:40,819 --> 00:26:46,209
play in it. And when I see the
role I play in it and then I
440
00:26:46,219 --> 00:26:51,260
accept it and then when I've
truly accepted it, there are no
441
00:26:51,270 --> 00:26:54,869
resentments. So true. Acceptance
has no resentments.
442
00:26:55,199 --> 00:26:59,310
That's what true acceptance is.
And so, you know, that, that's
443
00:26:59,319 --> 00:27:01,579
where, you know, I hear to say,
you know, praying for him for
444
00:27:01,589 --> 00:27:05,869
two weeks. Ok. And, and it'll go
away, you know. Ok. God, please
445
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,780
give them pancreatic cancer and
they die a miserable death. You
446
00:27:08,790 --> 00:27:10,219
know what I mean? Yeah.
447
00:27:11,510 --> 00:27:14,199
But, you know, have run off a
car, you know, highway or
448
00:27:14,209 --> 00:27:18,260
something like that. But, but
no, as soon as I look at the
449
00:27:18,270 --> 00:27:22,150
role I play in it and accept
that and that's where the
450
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,520
freedom comes. That doesn't mean
we go hang out with them. No,
451
00:27:25,530 --> 00:27:28,579
I'm not suggesting that that's,
that God will make that bright
452
00:27:28,589 --> 00:27:29,140
and clear.
453
00:27:29,390 --> 00:27:34,180
But, but the, but because it's
about you being free. And then
454
00:27:34,189 --> 00:27:36,880
here's the other thing is, is
that, you know, why haven't
455
00:27:36,890 --> 00:27:40,239
these people, you know,
apologized to me? Hey, here's
456
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:44,979
the deal. If you think someone
owes you an apology, that means
457
00:27:44,989 --> 00:27:48,439
I have a resentment towards
them. If I think someone, this
458
00:27:48,449 --> 00:27:51,380
person owes me an apology, that
means I have a resentment.
459
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:56,290
And you see that all the time,
you know, a lot of people want
460
00:27:56,300 --> 00:28:00,020
that apology. You know, and I've
come to, you know, learn that it
461
00:28:00,020 --> 00:28:03,699
's not, we don't have to hear
them say it. We have to learn to
462
00:28:03,709 --> 00:28:07,079
forgive. And like you said, that
was, I was gonna ask you, you
463
00:28:07,089 --> 00:28:11,199
know, to give us a good example
of, of how to get over and, and
464
00:28:11,209 --> 00:28:13,300
be able a step towards
forgiveness.
465
00:28:13,310 --> 00:28:16,900
And you just, you just said it
right now and because I think
466
00:28:16,910 --> 00:28:20,160
that's very important, you know,
and, and, and that's a great,
467
00:28:20,170 --> 00:28:23,640
that's a great example, you
know, and just to be able to
468
00:28:23,650 --> 00:28:28,800
take that, understand, you know,
and in your own eyes, realize
469
00:28:28,810 --> 00:28:33,319
how you took a part in it and
then, and then let it go and,
470
00:28:33,329 --> 00:28:39,040
and say, ok, I, you know, they
did this, I did this and, you
471
00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:43,719
know, and I forgive myself for
doing this and, you know, I
472
00:28:43,729 --> 00:28:46,160
don't hold resentments towards
the other person.
473
00:28:46,170 --> 00:28:48,369
Is that how you would go about
it? Is that where?
474
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,640
Yeah, I mean, I would even break
it down even, you know, more
475
00:28:51,650 --> 00:28:56,329
simple is that, you know, I'm
resentful at this person
476
00:28:56,339 --> 00:29:00,380
because, and this is the role
that I play in it. That's, that
477
00:29:00,380 --> 00:29:02,920
's it. I've got to accept the
role I play in it.
478
00:29:03,060 --> 00:29:07,910
But the, the sooner I can do
that ex except the role that I
479
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:14,290
play in it, the forgiveness,
grabs a hold, you know, and then
480
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:19,310
sometimes, sometimes Stacy,
sometimes what the people that
481
00:29:19,319 --> 00:29:23,630
I'm resentful for once I work
through that I actually owe them
482
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:29,339
an amends, you know, sometimes I
owe them an amends and, but, but
483
00:29:29,349 --> 00:29:31,750
yeah, that's, that's my
suggestion on that. Go ahead.
484
00:29:32,250 --> 00:29:35,250
No, I, I like that. I like, I
like that, you know, you broke
485
00:29:35,260 --> 00:29:39,390
it down even simpler and then,
and it's, you know, you, you
486
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:44,270
realize your part in it and then
you forget, you know, you, you
487
00:29:44,709 --> 00:29:48,579
basically forgive yourself for
and, and make amends with
488
00:29:48,589 --> 00:29:52,670
yourself and, and then you kind
of set it free in a sense.
489
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:56,619
Is that, that's exactly right.
You know, so if I pull out, if
490
00:29:56,630 --> 00:29:59,250
I'm driving and I pull out in
front of someone and they're
491
00:29:59,260 --> 00:30:02,979
honking at me and, you know, I'm
doing all these hand gestures to
492
00:30:02,989 --> 00:30:05,810
them and I'm resentful at that
person all day long.
493
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:09,589
Ok? And it ruins my day. Well,
there's two things happening
494
00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:15,949
there. What's the real problem
with that guy? Ok. Or, I go, you
495
00:30:15,959 --> 00:30:18,219
know what, here's the role I
played in this.
496
00:30:18,229 --> 00:30:21,579
I pulled out in front of him, I
pulled out, that's the role I
497
00:30:21,589 --> 00:30:25,920
play in it and I'm going to
accept it and it's like, oh, you
498
00:30:25,930 --> 00:30:29,369
know, like, and then, and then
sometimes it, you know, it gets,
499
00:30:29,380 --> 00:30:33,010
you know, deeper, you know, I
always say this is that, is
500
00:30:33,020 --> 00:30:37,979
that, you know, myself my whole
life, I was watering the leaves
501
00:30:37,989 --> 00:30:41,030
of the tree wondering why the
tree was dying.
502
00:30:41,369 --> 00:30:45,020
You know, what's the real root?
You know, we gotta get down to
503
00:30:45,030 --> 00:30:50,619
the root of what the problem is,
and every time it's fear it's,
504
00:30:50,630 --> 00:30:51,300
you know, it's fear.
505
00:30:51,989 --> 00:30:54,530
It is fair. I think fear plays a
big role.
506
00:30:55,290 --> 00:30:58,030
A fear of losing something or,
you know, something's going to
507
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:02,329
be taken away from me and, you
know, I struggle with, I'm a lot
508
00:31:02,339 --> 00:31:05,750
better and, you know,
abandonment issues obviously and
509
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:11,089
then, you know, you know, loud
voices and, you know, fear that,
510
00:31:11,199 --> 00:31:15,209
you know, I'm in, you know, I'm
in a relationship engaged to an
511
00:31:15,219 --> 00:31:18,810
incredible person and when we
have healthy conflict, which is
512
00:31:18,819 --> 00:31:21,739
new, you know, healthy conflict
where we're talking and let's
513
00:31:21,750 --> 00:31:23,650
just say, voice inflection goes
up.
514
00:31:23,930 --> 00:31:28,530
I immediately will go in my head
saying, I'm gonna be homeless.
515
00:31:28,619 --> 00:31:31,819
That's how radical. Sometimes
I'll go in my head, then I had
516
00:31:31,829 --> 00:31:34,949
to calm down and breathe and,
and, and, and I give her a
517
00:31:34,959 --> 00:31:38,060
really good listening to because
she's just trying to share with
518
00:31:38,069 --> 00:31:43,199
me how she feels and because I
listen, she actually helps me.
519
00:31:43,410 --> 00:31:46,160
Right. And plus she's got a
radio and TV background.
520
00:31:46,170 --> 00:31:51,760
Sometimes I don't want to hear
it and a lot of times when I get
521
00:31:51,770 --> 00:31:53,380
amped up, it's because she's
right.
522
00:31:55,250 --> 00:31:58,270
Sometimes the truth could hurt,
you know, even though we know
523
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,750
somebody else is right, we
sometimes don't want to hear it
524
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,290
even though we know that they're
right.
525
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:07,189
Well, well said, well played,
but I'm, I'm lo I'm looking
526
00:32:07,199 --> 00:32:09,680
forward to the next shows and I,
you know, I'd like to tackle,
527
00:32:09,689 --> 00:32:14,520
tackle these tough topics, you
know, and, and, and solutions to
528
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,000
trauma and address, you know,
things that, that people want to
529
00:32:18,010 --> 00:32:24,319
hear that are, they're too, I
don't want scared or embarrassed
530
00:32:24,329 --> 00:32:28,760
or not brave enough to ask, you
know, and, and so, and then the
531
00:32:28,890 --> 00:32:31,550
big thing is, is helping the
families, you know, the families
532
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,329
of the loved ones, you know,
they actually, you know, to
533
00:32:34,339 --> 00:32:35,400
tease that topic.
534
00:32:35,410 --> 00:32:38,849
I mean, the families are
actually sick or sicker than the
535
00:32:38,859 --> 00:32:44,300
actual attic because their drug
of choice is actually the person
536
00:32:44,310 --> 00:32:46,459
who's an active addiction. Yeah.
537
00:32:47,349 --> 00:32:49,489
It's very true. It's very true.
538
00:32:50,349 --> 00:32:52,670
You know, and it, and it's
sometimes hard because if you
539
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,670
come from a dysfunctional
family, you know, it's hard to
540
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,510
separate sometimes yourself from
your family, you don't want to,
541
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,589
but sometimes you have to
separate yourself or give
542
00:33:00,599 --> 00:33:04,329
yourself distance because it's
an unhealthy family role, you
543
00:33:04,339 --> 00:33:07,780
know, you could see them, you
know, and, and say, you know,
544
00:33:07,810 --> 00:33:11,369
and visit for a short period of
time on a, on a, on a holiday or
545
00:33:11,380 --> 00:33:11,790
something.
546
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:16,010
But sometimes being around
somebody, you know, or more than
547
00:33:16,020 --> 00:33:18,939
one person, you know, that has
dysfunctional behavior that
548
00:33:18,949 --> 00:33:22,609
really triggers you in a not so
good way. That's a hard, that's
549
00:33:22,619 --> 00:33:25,510
a hard, that's a hard, you know,
problem that a lot of people
550
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:26,239
tackle.
551
00:33:26,829 --> 00:33:30,489
I love talking about this stuff.
I mean, I love it and, and when
552
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:33,790
I the reason why I love talking
about it is because I use my
553
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:38,439
personal experiences. Ok. II, I
can't, I can't talk about
554
00:33:38,449 --> 00:33:40,989
building a skateboard company.
You know, I don't have a
555
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,650
personal experience, I'm gonna
lie to you. But as far as using
556
00:33:44,660 --> 00:33:48,520
these personal experiences and,
and the solutions to them, I
557
00:33:48,530 --> 00:33:50,369
love talking about stuff like
that.
558
00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:55,459
Yeah, I, I think these would be
great topics to, to, to tackle
559
00:33:55,469 --> 00:33:57,670
because I, I think so many
people go through all these
560
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:01,239
things and, and then I, I even
know, you know, it's a lot of
561
00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:04,089
times I, I can meet people, I
know that they, they are either
562
00:34:04,099 --> 00:34:07,650
in recovery or they, they have
addiction problems because you,
563
00:34:07,729 --> 00:34:10,439
when you, when, you know, so
many people, you know, you know,
564
00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:13,449
the behaviors, you know, you
know, how people act, you know,
565
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,060
you know, how people talk, you
know, the body language and you
566
00:34:16,070 --> 00:34:20,159
could just tell, you know, and,
you know, you can just pick up
567
00:34:20,169 --> 00:34:21,580
on the energy, you know.
568
00:34:21,709 --> 00:34:26,439
And, but I do, I do feel bad for
people who are kind of, they
569
00:34:26,449 --> 00:34:30,219
stay in a closet, you know,
either they stay in denial or
570
00:34:30,229 --> 00:34:36,379
they're just too, embarrassed or
afraid to open up to others
571
00:34:36,389 --> 00:34:38,810
about what's going on in their
life.
572
00:34:39,648 --> 00:34:43,868
Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it
's, it's that stigma, you know,
573
00:34:43,878 --> 00:34:46,979
and, you know, if someone's
listening or watching and, you
574
00:34:46,989 --> 00:34:52,469
know, if, if you have to, you
know, if, when I would explain,
575
00:34:52,879 --> 00:34:57,669
when I'm explaining, I'm lying.
Ok. But it's, but when I would,
576
00:34:57,679 --> 00:35:00,629
you know, make it bright and
clear that, you know, I'm not an
577
00:35:00,639 --> 00:35:04,909
alcoholic, I, I just, I just
drink, I just, you know, I cut
578
00:35:04,919 --> 00:35:07,750
back. I'm drinking only, you
know, four drinks a day. Ok.
579
00:35:08,639 --> 00:35:12,020
That's a red flag because I, I
don't, I don't talk like that
580
00:35:12,030 --> 00:35:15,590
about cereal. You know what I
mean? I mean, I don't talk, you
581
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:19,179
know, about, about anything
else, but I'm just cutting back
582
00:35:19,189 --> 00:35:22,129
and the thing is they come up to
me and they say that I didn't
583
00:35:22,139 --> 00:35:25,175
ask them anything. Right. You
know, I didn't ask anything. So
584
00:35:25,185 --> 00:35:28,274
if that has to be explained,
what they're really doing is
585
00:35:28,284 --> 00:35:31,254
crying out for help, they're
crying out for help.
586
00:35:31,264 --> 00:35:34,064
You know, it's, it's that deal
asking for a friend. Hey, I'm
587
00:35:34,074 --> 00:35:38,705
asking for a friend. And so, and
sometimes that's real but it's,
588
00:35:39,294 --> 00:35:43,094
but the, but yeah, it's, it's,
it's something that needs to be
589
00:35:43,104 --> 00:35:46,125
addressed 100%. And, you know,
and the other thing I love to
590
00:35:46,135 --> 00:35:48,754
talk about is the real crisis.
Our real crisis today is the
591
00:35:48,764 --> 00:35:52,720
missing man. It's the nuclear
family. Yeah, it's time for, it
592
00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:54,669
's time for men to take back the
dinner table.
593
00:35:56,219 --> 00:35:56,879
I agree.
594
00:35:57,689 --> 00:36:01,310
Yeah, that's definitely a topic
that needs to be addressed in
595
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:04,520
our society. Now, if you had to
take everything we talked about
596
00:36:04,530 --> 00:36:07,449
today and you want to emphasize
the listeners a couple of point
597
00:36:07,459 --> 00:36:10,540
important takeaways. What would
you like to say to them?
598
00:36:12,919 --> 00:36:16,080
True acceptance has no
resentments. Yes, that's one of
599
00:36:16,090 --> 00:36:20,449
the main things is, and also
that we are all addicts. We're
600
00:36:20,459 --> 00:36:25,000
all addicts who we are addicted
to visible things to try to fix
601
00:36:25,010 --> 00:36:26,570
our invisible problems.
602
00:36:27,879 --> 00:36:30,949
You know, and, and, and, and
what is the solution to fear?
603
00:36:30,959 --> 00:36:33,300
The solution to fear is to talk
about it.
604
00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:38,250
You know, my personal story is,
is, is what got me to the other
605
00:36:38,260 --> 00:36:42,379
side was a spiritual awakening,
a relationship with the God of
606
00:36:42,389 --> 00:36:47,290
my understanding, which is Jesus
Christ, not the church, Jesus,
607
00:36:47,300 --> 00:36:50,659
not religion. Jesus, you know,
the, the true Christ in, in the
608
00:36:50,669 --> 00:36:53,439
book, you know, the Bible and I
believe in that.
609
00:36:54,649 --> 00:36:57,780
So, that's what's working for
me.
610
00:36:58,850 --> 00:37:03,669
And so that's, that's a takeaway
right there. That's a lot to
611
00:37:03,679 --> 00:37:04,219
take away.
612
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,350
It's a lot of takeaways, but it
's, they're great takeaways. I
613
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:08,020
like them.
614
00:37:08,889 --> 00:37:10,780
Yeah, they have important
meaning to them.
615
00:37:11,699 --> 00:37:14,879
Look before you go. Can you tell
everybody about your new book
616
00:37:14,889 --> 00:37:16,120
because it's an amazing book.
617
00:37:16,959 --> 00:37:17,500
I want you to tell.
618
00:37:17,689 --> 00:37:24,250
Yeah. So we, we just, we signed
with Grasa Lee Perez out of Los
619
00:37:24,260 --> 00:37:30,520
Angeles. And she is writing our
book and, and, and we're gonna
620
00:37:30,530 --> 00:37:31,719
turn it into a film.
621
00:37:32,780 --> 00:37:36,030
So it's a, really excited about
that. So it's called three, you
622
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:41,000
know, 300 miles. It's a journey
that I made, back to, Dallas.
623
00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:46,239
So yeah, we're looking forward
to that. It's 300 miles and, so
624
00:37:46,250 --> 00:37:50,040
stay tuned. We're looking for a
September of 24 release on that.
625
00:37:50,050 --> 00:37:53,719
So, and that has been in that
deal and we can talk on the next
626
00:37:53,729 --> 00:37:56,550
show that has really talk about
forgiveness. You know, I've had
627
00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:01,889
to go open some doors that I had
nailed shut. And so what do we
628
00:38:01,899 --> 00:38:05,600
do when we go into the past? Ok,
we can't go there alone.
629
00:38:05,879 --> 00:38:09,989
And so, you know, so, so some
things, you know, we were coming
630
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,959
up and as a result of some fear
that I'm going through and just
631
00:38:12,969 --> 00:38:17,209
my life today and stuff like
that, that, you know, it, that
632
00:38:17,219 --> 00:38:21,020
started triggering stuff and I,
and I'm, you know, I've got got
633
00:38:21,030 --> 00:38:24,199
emotional, you know, and so I
had to really look into it, but
634
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:27,160
it was an opportunity for me to
grow and look at it through God
635
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:31,040
's perspective of, you know, of
what, what the mission is.
636
00:38:31,050 --> 00:38:35,229
So, but yeah, 300 miles super
excited about it. And so it's
637
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,500
going to talk about the cool
thing is this book, it's going
638
00:38:37,510 --> 00:38:43,729
to be it's going to tell the
story. But when people close it,
639
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:48,830
all right, the people who wrong
me are the heroes because I saw
640
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:52,050
it through God's perspective.
And so that's the way I want it
641
00:38:52,060 --> 00:38:54,580
to be because they're truly
forgiven.
642
00:38:56,199 --> 00:38:57,929
And I don't even talk to these
people anymore.
643
00:38:59,070 --> 00:39:03,209
I love that. And I think that,
you know, it's ok, it's ok to
644
00:39:03,219 --> 00:39:05,270
separate yourself from people
that you, because you don't want
645
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,899
to be around people that are
going to drag you down. You
646
00:39:07,909 --> 00:39:10,489
know, the people that, you know,
that are gonna be the vacuum
647
00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:12,169
that sucks all that energy from
you.
648
00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:14,780
Those are the people you want to
stay your distance. But like we
649
00:39:14,790 --> 00:39:18,810
said earlier, as long as you can
forgive in a healthy manner and
650
00:39:18,820 --> 00:39:22,550
let go and then move forward in
your own life, that's what
651
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:23,250
matters.
652
00:39:24,030 --> 00:39:25,330
Amen. Amen.
653
00:39:26,510 --> 00:39:28,629
Well, this has been amazing,
Michael. I'm so, you know,
654
00:39:28,639 --> 00:39:32,179
Michael is gonna be, he's part
of our podcast community. He has
655
00:39:32,189 --> 00:39:37,250
a podcast series and he also has
a podcast M two, the rock on our
656
00:39:37,739 --> 00:39:41,479
podcast channel. And he's gonna
be doing a series of different
657
00:39:41,489 --> 00:39:45,780
topics related to addiction and,
you know, family trauma and
658
00:39:45,790 --> 00:39:48,689
getting through trauma and lots
of different.
659
00:39:48,699 --> 00:39:51,639
He's going to be given lots of
different tools, strategies and
660
00:39:51,649 --> 00:39:54,959
techniques on how to overcome
the hardships in your life. So
661
00:39:54,969 --> 00:39:57,959
you can live a happy, healthy
and productive life. But thank
662
00:39:57,969 --> 00:40:00,639
you so much Michael for coming
on the show today. You know, I'm
663
00:40:00,649 --> 00:40:01,540
very, very excited.
664
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:07,100
Thank you, Stacy. And when I say
thank you. Ok? Is that, this
665
00:40:07,110 --> 00:40:11,379
helps me, I do this because it
helps me stay clean and sober
666
00:40:11,399 --> 00:40:16,489
and me sharing and getting out
of self for 35 40 minutes. All
667
00:40:16,500 --> 00:40:19,419
right. It puts me in the safest
place in the world and that's
668
00:40:19,429 --> 00:40:22,889
right here right now because
that's where God's at. Right.
669
00:40:23,870 --> 00:40:28,429
I love it. I, I agree with you
100%. I'm on the same road you
670
00:40:28,439 --> 00:40:28,739
are.
671
00:40:29,639 --> 00:40:34,020
And also for your viewers,
Cowboy fan, Dallas Cowboys,
672
00:40:34,399 --> 00:40:36,090
everybody up there in New
Jersey.
673
00:40:36,580 --> 00:40:38,939
Well, I always said, I said the
Cowboys always had the cutest
674
00:40:38,949 --> 00:40:39,909
little butts and I.
675
00:40:43,050 --> 00:40:44,909
Oh, I've never said that.
676
00:40:45,179 --> 00:40:48,330
No, I know. You never said that.
I would always joke around and
677
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,060
then, because we would have the,
you know, a big lot of Giants
678
00:40:51,070 --> 00:40:53,770
fan over here. But I like, you
know what Dallas does have cuter
679
00:40:53,780 --> 00:40:57,090
little butts over there. Like I
got a, you know, you're funny.
680
00:40:57,100 --> 00:41:00,300
You're funny. Well, I'm excited
for the next show. Yeah.
681
00:41:01,580 --> 00:41:04,620
All righty. It's great having
you on the show today. I look
682
00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:08,239
forward to seeing you soon.
Thank you so much, Michael. Yes.
683
00:41:08,250 --> 00:41:10,439
Thank you, Stacy. All right. You
have a great day.
684
00:41:11,219 --> 00:41:11,840
Yes, you too.